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NPD vs BPD: The Brutal Truth About the Differences · The Mental Healness Podcast

• 0:00
  Have you ever wondered if you're dealing with an actual
• 0:03
  narcissist or just someone with borderline personality disorder?
• 0:09
  I mean, you see the rage, you see the manipulation, you see,
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  and you feel the push, push, pull dynamic.
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  So a lot of people would assume that they're the same.
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  Like you might have assumed that they're the same, right?
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  BPDMPD, Both of them have PD in them, right?
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  Today, y'all, I'm taking you under the hood.
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  We're taking a deeper look about the the differences between MPD
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  and BPD, right? One of them is a disorder of the
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  ego and the other is a disorder of abandonment.
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  I'm Lee Hammock, I'm a diagnosed narcissist and welcome to
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  another episode of The Narcissist Cold.
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  Y'all we pulling the hood back on MPD versus BPD and we're
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  going to hop right into it. Y'all literally right into it.
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  Ali. I get this question a lot, Lee.
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  Is this person or narcissist or they're borderline?
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  Both of them are cluster B, cluster BC.
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  Yeah, let's get right into it. Y'all.
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  The biggest difference between NPD, narcissistic personality
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  disorder and BPD borderline personality disorder is Y WHYI
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  have a course called finding your why.
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  But why NPD with narcissist like myself.
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  NPD diagnosis, right? My world, or the narcissist
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  world is built on admiration and validation.
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  It's built. The foundation is admiration,
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  right? I need you to see me as a
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  superior so I don't have to face my own.
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  I don't have to question my own worth.
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  I don't have to face the feeling of all the time that I'm
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  worthless, right? I don't have to face that
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  feeling of worthlessness because I have you, I have somebody
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  else. I'm getting narcissistic supply,
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  then validation from other people so I can keep going.
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  That's why you see a lot of people refer to narcissistic
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  supply as fuel because it keeps us going.
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  It's like Gatorade, right? You know, sometimes I was saying
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  the Gatorade commercial. Sometimes I dream like Mike, but
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  I could be like Mike, you know? But seriously, it's admiration
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  is fuel for narcissistic people. But you know what happens
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  though? If you criticize me, if you
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  criticize that narcissistic person, I don't necessarily fear
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  losing you. I fear losing the image.
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  I fear that exposure. I feel.
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  I fear people seeing me for who I really am or me seeing me for
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  who I really am. I got to face myself in the
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  mirror. If I got no narcissistic supply,
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  I got to face me in the mirror. Now on the other side of things,
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  BPD, their world is built on connection.
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  On connection, right? A narcissist's biggest fear is
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  losing admiration, losing narcissist's apply.
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  A borderline person's biggest fear is being below you.
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  It's being alone, boy. I said hello right there.
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  Dinner borderlines fear being alone.
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  If you have dealt with someone with a borderline with
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  borderline personality disorder or high borderline traits, you
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  know exactly what I'm saying. You try to leave, they lose
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  their damn minds. They're threatening self harm.
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  They're threatening to harm you. They're threatening to call the
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  police on you. They're telling they're
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  threatening to get you locked up.
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  They're threatening everything. They tell you that they're
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  pregnant. They're telling that you they
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  don't say anything. Yeah, I'm just saying they will
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  lose it, right? They didn't.
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  Look, someone with BPD does not want to be your boss.
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  They want to be your everything. Y'all heard the term favorite
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  person? Favorite people is a term that's
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  connected to BPD. Because once you become their
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  favorite person, it's hard to it's hard to just break that
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  tie. Someone with borderline will
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  keep going back and forth to someone that's hurting them over
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  and over again because they feel like that's their favorite
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  person. I I have to have you.
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  I only want you. No matter how bad you're
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  treating me, no matter what you've done or what you put me
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  through, I only want you right? A narcissist will discard you
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  because you're no longer useful. But someone with BPD, they will
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  split on you because they're terrified you're about to leave
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  them when they split. When you see that split happen,
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  whoo, it's like they're it's like you deal with a different
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  person. It's like you're dealing with a
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  different person. They go from very happy smiling
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  at you to screaming, crying, face red.
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  It's not bubbling, farting, throwing up, pissing on
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  themselves, all all kinds of stuff that goes all right there,
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  y'all? But seriously, in this next
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  section right here, we're going to talk about the mask versus
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  the void. Yeah, like seriously, Matt?
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  So let's hop right into it. We're going to talk about the
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  identity crisis, right? So as someone diagnosed with
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  narcissistic personality disorder, NPD, someone like me
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  tends to have a rigid identity. Like y'all get it?
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  Like it's a rigid. It's damn near immovable
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  sometimes, right? It's stiff when I'm with you,
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  when I'm not with you. It's not so stiff when I'm with
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  you and I'm mirroring you and I'm becoming who I would need to
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  be to get you. It's not so it's not.
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  It's rigid, right? But once I got you, I'm stuck.
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  I'm rigid. Rigidity kicks in.
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  I'm not moving. I'm not going anywhere.
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  Narcissistic people spend years building a mask of perfection.
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  Of course it's fake. Nobody's perfect, right?
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  We have one perfect person. He died long before us.
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  He died for our sins. Right now the mask is fake, but
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  it's solid. It's rigid.
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  Like seriously, you know, like you when you're dealing with a
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  narcissistic person, you condemn their predict their patterns,
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  right? That's why you see a lot of
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  times in comment section. Somebody was like my narcissist
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  got very predictable because they're rigid.
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  Rigidity kicks in. I'm rigid.
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  You know what to expect with me now, sometimes I'll change.
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  So now they might change up with a new supply, whatever new
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  person, new environment, but typically when they're with you,
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  it's rigid. It's a move with it doesn't
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  change. Now on the other end of the
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  coin, you flip that coin, the two faced coin, right?
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  Someone with BBD has a very unstable identity, right?
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  Very unstable. Like you drop like mafia is just
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  kind of like dropping the damn. I'm not picking on my borderline
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  folks. I love y'all right.
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  It's kind of like, but dropping a mentos in a coke bottle and
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  shaking it up, you go get something different, right?
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  Someone with BBD has a very unstable identity.
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  They often feel like a void. And I've talked to people with
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  BBD, I've done one-on-one to people with BBD.
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  Because when that borderline person and a narcissist get
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  together, man oh man, oh man, the narcissist is getting all
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  the admiration they can handle from the borderline, right?
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  And the borderline is damn near just chasing after.
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  Like when a narcissist becomes a borderline's favorite person,
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  that whole damn thing about not scared to be alone that goes,
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  they can go crazy because narcissist will always threaten
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  that. They will always threaten to
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  leave their they will trigger that Batman issues.
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  A narcissist verse in borderline relationship typically is going
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  to be very toxic, very volatile and whatnot, right?
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  I know one they did they do they're doing.
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  I know one they're doing pretty good Cam Cammy well, Cameron and
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  Steve bat wolf, they're doing pretty good right, so the bat
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  wolf y'all watch this, but somebody with a borderline
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  person out the disorder with an unstable identity.
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  They might change their hobbies, their style or even their
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  accent, depending on their partner.
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  They will become you. They want to get inside of your
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  skin. They will become you right,
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  they'll be goth, they'll be nerdy, they'll be posh, they'll
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  be prompt pump they'll be whatever they need to be, so
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  they don't have to be by themselves.
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  You see what I'm saying? This is what goes on right here,
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  like while I'm trying to get you to worship my mask, to worship
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  who I am, that narcissistic person trying to find
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  themselves. I mean, not narcissist.
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  That borderline person is trying to find themselves through you,
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  which is why when you get a borderline person that leaves
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  their relationship, they look like they become someone else.
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  When they're with somebody else, they look like they become
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  somebody else completely too, like narcissist, right?
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  That's they can be common right there, right?
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  But that's why y'all, this is what goes on right here.
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  The next section, we're going to be talking about manipulation,
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  Like manipulation, control versus survival.
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  It's all manipulation, right? But it's control versus
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  survival. Now, let me get this other way
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  right now, both these groups of people, Narcissus and
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  Borderline, can be manipulative, but it's the goal that's
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  important. It's the goal.
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  Both are manipulative. I don't like.
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  So I know some people say 1 is worse than the other, but both
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  can be manipulative, but it's the goal that matters.
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  Look at the goal NPD narcissistic manipulation,
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  right? It's cold, it's calculated.
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  I want to keep you under my thumb, so you keep providing me
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  narcissistic supply. I need that validation.
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  I need that control. I need to control the entire
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  environment. The borderline's on the other
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  side of things. Their manipulation is a
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  desperate cry for help sometimes, right?
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  They're crying out for help. They want more help.
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  They want to be needed and they want they want to be validated
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  and things like that. They might use guilt or threats
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  of self harm not to try to rule you, but to stop the pain of the
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  perceived rejection. They don't want to feel rejected
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  again. This is why they push pull
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  dynamic of a borderline narcissist relationship goes on
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  like that. The borderline is seeking this
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  like it's seeking this, has this cry for help.
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  They want to be needed. They want to be they they.
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  Their emotions are just highly volatile.
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  They want to be with you. It's very difficult for them to
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  let go and the narcissist is constantly pushing you away, but
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  pulling you back in. Push you away but pulling you
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  back in, playing this constant game, a push, pull back forth,
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  doing this type of stuff with you.
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  That's why the relationships can get so toxic, right?
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  You get borderline folks that are cutting themselves, actually
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  harming themselves because they're in this relationship
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  with the narcissist who's not giving them what they need,
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  who's not validating them, who's taking away what they're looking
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  for, right? You know what I'm saying?
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  It's kind of like 1. The narcissist manipulation is
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  like a chess move, while the borderline manipulation is damn
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  near like the house is on fire, right?
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  It's kind of Wildman. Yeah, again, I'm not picking on
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  my borderline folks. I'm not picking on them like I
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  love my borderline folks, but I'm doing my water ones with
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  them. I can kind of tell off the RIP
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  when they're when they're talking.
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  I was like, wait a minute, hold on.
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  Like it's like I can sense. I was like, wait a minute, hold
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  on. And they'll be like what?
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  I was like, if you, if you were with the third before you, you
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  ever get diagnosed anything? Oh, yeah, I have borderline.
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  I knew it. I knew it.
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  I knew. How'd you tell?
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  I just like your energy. You have very unique energy
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  about this that really, yes, it's it's very unique energy.
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  But now I know people are going to ask you, so I'm going to
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  cover this as well. Can people have both?
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  Can people have both MPD and MPD?
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  Yes. The bat wolf Steven, the bat
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  wolf has MPD and BPD. The nameless narcissist Jacob, I
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  think he has MPD and BPD as well.
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  I think he more one of them is flipped BPD with MPD, other one
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  is MPD with BPD. But both of them are comorbid.
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  Both of them have MPD and BPD. You can have both, right?
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  And you really can. It's like about 25% of the
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  people with one of these disorders, 25% of people with
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  MPD or 25% of people with BPD, they actually have the other as
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  well. So 25% or both.
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  One in four narcissists has borderline.
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  One in four borderline is a narcissist, right?
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  So you can't have both and those people, boy, they can get very
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  dangerous. They can get very dangerous
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  people would like said not on there's a spectrum.
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  Of course. I feel like if there's a
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  spectrum name is narcissist and bat wolf or lower on the
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  spectrum right? But if you know if you hire on
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  that spectrum you get the look. Just imagine it's right here
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  y'all. You get the fear of abandonment
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  of BPD mixed with the grandiosity and lack of empathy
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  with NPD. Oh my God that is so that can be
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  so. Wow.
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  I'm just telling you, imagine being afraid to be abandoned but
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  also lack empathy and have a grandiose personality.
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  That's crazy. The ego is wild that is hard to
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  maintain internally. Y'all that would I'm but it
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  being real, that would be a hard to maintain internally because
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  your mind is just bouncing around everywhere.
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  You it's, it's very difficult to be stable when you have high
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  comorbid traits like that. It really, really is.
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  So you got to think about it like whether it's MPD or BPD,
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  the result for you, the person dealing with it is typically
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  going to be the same. You're walking on egg shells.
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  You don't know what the hell to do.
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  Like this person is crying out for help and they're being
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  abusive. This person is threatening to
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  harm themselves and sometimes the person will actually harm
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  themselves in front of you. Sometimes it's not a threat of
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  self harm. They will harm themselves in
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  front of you if you leave them. Going to cut myself.
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  You're not going to do that flat.
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  What now? You're trying to, you're trying
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  to do a perform a damn triage. You know, you're trying to have
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  a triage in the living room. You got bandages and shit.
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  You're trying to, you're trying to help them heal.
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  You're doing all this other stuff to help them and whatnot.
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  Man, that's where it ends up going.
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  So it really can be a traumatic experience.
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  Brilliant being with someone with MPD or being with somebody
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  with BPD and somebody with both, right?
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  Like so I think the Cameron's and Steve's relationship, I
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  think she's just strictly borderline and he's MPD and BPD.
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  So they very have a very unique relationship.
• 13:54
  I actually got to meet, I actually got to meet them in
• 13:55
  Texas a couple years ago. I'm going to be in Texas here
• 13:58
  this year too. Y'all my workshops to beating
• 14:00
  back started, they're coming back started.
• 14:02
  Y'all, the workshops are coming back up and we're going to be
• 14:05
  out there in the open in the public doing these workshops,
• 14:07
  meeting, meeting and greeting and things like that.
• 14:09
  Y'all make sure you want to do a one-on-one.
• 14:12
  I still have those available over Zoom or phone call, Ioffer
• 14:14
  phone calls now as well. And personal videos.
• 14:17
  I have a personal video service set up on the same site where if
• 14:21
  you have a you can send your story and I'll give you a
• 14:23
  personal private video. You can find
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  everything@mentalillness.net or check the link in the
• 14:29
  description. Y'all make sure you hit that
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  subscribe button if you haven't already.
• 14:32
  And as always, y'all, as always, we're doing this as well.
• 14:34
  These uh.