Latest / Success Story with Scott Clary / Lessons - The Real Reason 50% of Marriages Fail and How to Beat the Odds | Michelle May O'Neil - Relationship & Wealth Expert

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Lessons - The Real Reason 50% of Marriages Fail and How to Beat the Odds | Michelle May O'Neil - Relationship & Wealth Expert · Success Story with Scott Clary

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  In this lessons episode, discover why balancing relationships and business success starts with
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  prioritization. Learn how treating family commitments with the same weight as work deadlines
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  preserves connection. Learn why time is the ultimate measure of wealth and learn how setting boundaries
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  creates harmony between ambition and intimacy.
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  I always laugh when people say they can't balance a relationship with their business. When you have
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  somebody who built one of the biggest companies in the world who did it just fine and who's still
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  happily married and speaks about the importance of his wife and his relationship and his success.
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  So that's one strategy. Always be dating, always setting time aside. What are some other ideas
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  as you grow as a person, as your goals grow, as you change? Assuming you're not changing for the
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  worse, you're changing for the better. What do you see works in terms of keeping couples together
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  as you go through this sort of journey? Yeah, look, it's all about prioritization. I mean,
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  that's the bottom line. It's all about prioritization and life balance is such a topic right now
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  for people, especially women. How do you balance it all? How do you have life balance?
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  And life balance is kind of like a stock portfolio. When you're at work, be 100% at work,
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  when you're at home, be 100% at home, and you just have to put life in buckets.
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  In your stock portfolio, you're not going to have all 100% high-risk stocks.
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  You're going to have some of this and some of that and some of this and some of that.
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  That's how your life should be. You can't be at work 100% of every day. You're not going to be
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  there 24-7. Are there going to be some times where you've got some big board meeting coming up
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  or some big M&A thing or some big something where you've got to be there and you've got to be
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  100% there and it's going to take a lot of your time. Yes. Then you're going to have the thing
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  at home or the kids' choir concert that takes priority or the Tuesday night, date night, that's
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  priority. You've just got to put your boundaries up around that. That deserves every bit of the
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  same importance as the big deadline at work. You've just got to treat it that way. If you don't
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  treat it that way, then eventually that relationship will fail or the relationship with your
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  children will fail. If you don't put boundaries around what is it that's important to your child,
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  their soccer game, whatever that thing is, you've got to put the same importance and the same
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  boundaries around that thing as you do around that very important thing at work. If you don't,
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  then that relationship will fail. That's how it has to be.
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  It has to be the buckets. It just has to be a priority for you. All that any of us have is time.
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  We can say that we have money. Money is just the barometer that we place here on earth with
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  the importance, but what we really have is time. How we spend our time is really our wealth.
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  That's how our children judge our wealth. That's how our spouses judge our wealth is based on our time.
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  We all are given the same amount of time. That's the great equalization is our time.
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  The guy that owns Netflix, the homeless guy on the corner, that's the great equalization.
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  We all have the same amount of wealth because we have the same amount of time.
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  Beyonce has the same 24 hours in the day as you do as I do. We all are the same with the same 24
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  hours. That's the equalizing factor. It's how you spend that time in your day.
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  Equalize that. That's how you say what's important to you.
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  That's such good advice. I think that this is why I like when people take risk early on in their
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  life when they're young because they can afford to not have as much balance. They can say,
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  I'm not dating. I'm not married yet. I don't have kids. I can put 95% of myself into my business
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  or my career. But the issue is when that mindset doesn't just exist for a season of your life,
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  but it exists in perpetuity. That's when you get in the trouble and that's when people end up
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  going to see you because they've maintained this imbalance for 30 years. The sad thing about
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  divorce and relationships that break is most people put so much energy and effort into trying to fix it
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  for years before it ends up getting to the point where it's actually divorced. Those are painful
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  years. They're very, very painful years. I think that just being cognizant of where your priorities lie,
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  where your time, everything you just said is so, so important. I think that a lot of people spend a
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  lot more time in the catch. They spend so much time trying to catch it than in to keep it.
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  Why is that? Do you have an idea? I think the chase is more fun. Once you've got it, it's not as
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  much fun to try to keep it. That's one of the most important. That's, I mean, that is when it's
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  more important, but it's also not as much of a challenge or as much fun, but I think that's
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  also maybe societal. Maybe we don't place as much importance or as much prioritization on the
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  keep in. I think we should. I think that maybe there's a little bit of moral and ethical decay and
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  society. I mean, you see the numbers and the data. I don't think it's healthy. And I think that
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  outside, you can make an argument about why people get married or don't get married,
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  but I think that by people not getting married and by not having families,
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  I don't think that people are more fulfilled being single. I think that there's a lot of anxiety
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  and depression about dating, about finances, about cost of living, about what is my life going to
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  look like. So I don't, you know, people push back against religion and people are more secular and
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  people sort of in some parts of the world that push back against this or the nuclear family.
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  But I don't see the mental health of people that push back against that being any better
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  at all. Well, about a year ago, the surgeon general came out with a study that said that
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  that post pandemic that we are, we are the loneliest
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  in America that we have ever been. That's sad. Post pandemic. Like coming out, like we are,
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  we are not in the pandemic anymore. Now we're lonelier. And we are lonelier than we have ever been.
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  And, and, and we can go out and socialize and, you know, being restaurants and everything still,
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  but we are lonelier than we've ever been. And we, because we don't somehow, we are missing
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  connection even after we can go out and, and we connect with each other. And, and to me, that,
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  that study that came out really kind of emphasized that point that somehow we are missing something
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  about how to actually connect with each other. And that, that says so much just about friendships,
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  about marriages, about, you know, like we said, businesses or relationships. I mean, just,
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  just about how to just connect. I want to, I want to ask a couple more questions about
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  entrepreneurship, money, relationships, because I think you have a front row view to a lot of
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  this because you work in all these, you're like the perfect blend of person that deals with all this
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  stuff at the same time. So I, I'm curious if you see, and the entrepreneurs you work with,
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  are they more successful when they're with a spouse or a partner, or are they more successful
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  when they're single? Do you find there's any, there's any trend between those two?
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  I think it just depends on the quality of the relationship. You know, if you're in a relationship
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  that is bringing you down, then I don't think that that suits your success in the business world.
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  I think that if you're in a relationship that is uplifting you, and, and good for you as a
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  foundation, then that helps you rise, you know, in your business. So, you know, to me,
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  it just so depends. I think that if your relationship at home is, is bringing you down,
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  then you might be better off without that. You know, your business world might be better off
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  if you didn't have that bringing you down. So I see a lot of my business clients, you know,
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  they may be more successful after their divorce because they're not having this weight,
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  bring them down at home, that's then keeping them kind of weighted down at work. And then post
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  divorce, they, they then are kind of set for, for rising after, after they get divorced.
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  You know, and then I have other of my business clients after they get divorced,
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  they may have, you know, a new, a new marriage that is very good for them and sets them up to rise,
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  have one client in mind, who got remarried after his divorce. And the new marriage just is, is,
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  got wind in his sale. And he's just risen incredibly in his new marriage and has, has been very
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  successful in his business after his new marriage. Thanks for tuning in. If you found this valuable,
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  don't forget to hit that subscribe button so you never miss an episode. And if you want to dive
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  deeper into this conversation, check out the links in the description to watch the full episode.
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  See you in the next one.