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Why You Keep Failing · THINK BEFORE YOU SLEEP

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: What I eat today is a fat girl who barely
• 0:02
  Speaker 1: eats anything. For breakfast, I had half of this smoothie.
• 0:04
  Speaker 1: We had a sandwich. For lunch, I had some mixed
• 0:07
  Speaker 1: greens with this plate. I had some strawberries and then
• 0:10
  Speaker 1: some of these imitation crab sticks. Then for dinner, I
• 0:13
  Speaker 1: had a grilled cheese burrito from Taco Bell, a little
• 0:16
  Speaker 1: trail mix, and a sugar-free Russell Stover's pecan delight.
• 0:20
  Speaker 2: If that was barely anything, then how much did she
• 0:22
  Speaker 2: eat before? A lot of personal trainers have been counting
• 0:25
  Speaker 2: her calories, and I see them saying anywhere from 2,600
• 0:27
  Speaker 2: to 3,500. And that makes sense because this video was
• 0:31
  Speaker 2: released at least six months ago, and she looks like
• 0:33
  Speaker 2: she's gained weight when you look at her more recent content.
• 0:36
  Speaker 2: But to be honest, I'm actually kind of bored of
• 0:38
  Speaker 2: this type of conversation because calories in versus calories out
• 0:41
  Speaker 2: is not the real problem here. The fat acceptance movement
• 0:44
  Speaker 2: is dead, thankfully, so we don't have to debunk a
• 0:47
  Speaker 2: bunch of activists gaslighting people anymore, which means that we
• 0:49
  Speaker 2: can now actually address the core issues that are causing
• 0:52
  Speaker 2: people to end up this overweight. Yes, calorie counts matter,
• 0:56
  Speaker 2: and so does education on how weight loss works, but
• 0:58
  Speaker 2: for the most part, unless you solve the underlying psychological problems,
• 1:02
  Speaker 2: telling someone who is obese to just stop eating so
• 1:04
  Speaker 2: much is like telling an alcoholic to just stop drinking.
• 1:08
  Speaker 2: And to talk more about this, allow me to introduce
• 1:10
  Speaker 2: you to a long-time YouTuber who goes by Tomska, who's
• 1:13
  Speaker 2: kindly cataloged his difficulties with weight loss over the years.
• 1:16
  Speaker 3: I've struggled with my weight since I was about nine
• 1:18
  Speaker 3: years old, and if you've followed me on here for
• 1:19
  Speaker 3: a while, you'll have probably noticed that struggle. In fact,
• 1:21
  Speaker 3: I find it so hard to deal with it, I've
• 1:22
  Speaker 3: actually been wearing a girdle in some of my more
• 1:24
  Speaker 3: recent videos, just to avoid people talking about my weight.
• 1:26
  Speaker 3: I finally made the push to get fit and work
• 1:27
  Speaker 3: with a personal trainer. I found that it's important to
• 1:29
  Speaker 3: be happy with yourself and accept your flaws, but that
• 1:30
  Speaker 3: doesn't necessarily mean ignoring them.
• 1:32
  Speaker 2: I liked his argument at the end, but mistake number
• 1:34
  Speaker 2: one here was addressing your haters and telling them exactly
• 1:37
  Speaker 2: how to hurt you. But I guess that can be
• 1:38
  Speaker 2: forgiven because I don't exactly know when all these videos
• 1:41
  Speaker 2: are from because they're archived from like 2012 or 2013.
• 1:45
  Speaker 2: So people weren't all that well-versed in how stupid it
• 1:47
  Speaker 2: is to give attention to people who don't like you.
• 1:49
  Speaker 2: Now that we've seen that, we're going to do a
• 1:51
  Speaker 2: time skip of maybe a year or two and see
• 1:53
  Speaker 2: how his diet and personal training regimen worked out.
• 1:55
  Speaker 3: My name is Thomas Tomska Ridgewell, and this might come
• 1:57
  Speaker 3: as a surprise to you, but I am fat. I
• 2:00
  Speaker 3: am a fat man. Here's the situation. Weighing in at
• 2:03
  Speaker 3: a total of 252 pounds, or 114 kilograms, it's safe
• 2:06
  Speaker 3: to say that I have punched through the ceiling or
• 2:08
  Speaker 3: fallen through the floorboards of fat and entered the realm
• 2:10
  Speaker 3: of obesity.
• 2:11
  Speaker 2: I guess it didn't work because it looks like he's
• 2:13
  Speaker 2: actually gained about 50 pounds. He wasn't nearly that heavy
• 2:16
  Speaker 2: in the first video.
• 2:17
  Speaker 3: I reckon I need to lose around 80 pounds. I'll
• 2:19
  Speaker 3: see you next week and wish me luck. TomSka out.
• 2:22
  Speaker 2: I mean, that's quite a lot of weight and it
• 2:24
  Speaker 2: will likely take more than a year to cut all
• 2:25
  Speaker 2: of it. I really think when people are making any
• 2:28
  Speaker 2: sort of change that takes a long time, that they
• 2:30
  Speaker 2: should do cardio like running or walking for an uncomfortably
• 2:33
  Speaker 2: long amount of time. This is not to lose weight,
• 2:36
  Speaker 2: it's to teach you how to do marathon level tasks,
• 2:38
  Speaker 2: and I think endurance exercise is probably the number one
• 2:41
  Speaker 2: thing that will teach you how to maintain discipline over time.
• 2:44
  Speaker 1: Here are some good mental tricks to use to help
• 2:46
  Speaker 1: you run longer. Trick number one is to mentally break
• 2:48
  Speaker 1: down your run into sections. Do not start your run
• 2:50
  Speaker 1: thinking about the end amount of miles you've got to
• 2:52
  Speaker 1: get done.
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  Speaker 2: It will overwhelm you.
• 2:54
  Speaker 1: Don't think about the total amount of miles. Just hit
• 2:56
  Speaker 1: your checkpoints.
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  Speaker 4: Right.
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  Speaker 2: Focusing on how far you've come versus how much you
• 2:59
  Speaker 2: have left will make you far more likely to succeed.
• 3:02
  Speaker 2: The more negative thoughts you have, the more likely you
• 3:04
  Speaker 2: will quit long before you actually run out of stamina. Anyway,
• 3:07
  Speaker 2: TomSka has an update after a week.
• 3:09
  Speaker 3: Hey you! My name is Thomas TomSka Ridgewell, and despite
• 3:11
  Speaker 3: dieting for a whole week, I am still a fat man.
• 3:14
  Speaker 3: I've started this series to bring you along with me
• 3:16
  Speaker 3: on my epic weight loss journey, so to spoil all
• 3:17
  Speaker 3: the fun, why don't I talk about how I plan
• 3:19
  Speaker 3: on getting from point A to point B. For the
• 3:21
  Speaker 3: first few weeks, I'll be cutting everything out of my
• 3:22
  Speaker 3: diet that isn't meat, fruit, or vegetables. So that means
• 3:24
  Speaker 3: no bread, no potatoes, no pasta, and of course, no delicious,
• 3:27
  Speaker 3: delicious junk food. I also intend on drinking nothing but water,
• 3:30
  Speaker 3: flavored water, and sparkling water.
• 3:32
  Speaker 2: Yeah, none of that shit matters. Stuff like this isn't
• 3:35
  Speaker 2: going to help him.
• 3:36
  Speaker 3: My shortcomings this week were that I didn't drink nearly
• 3:37
  Speaker 3: enough water. I want to be getting at least two
• 3:39
  Speaker 3: liters a day, and instead I've been drinking... wine.
• 3:43
  Speaker 2: I thought him saying that he was drinking wine instead
• 3:45
  Speaker 2: of water was a joke, but it turns out that
• 3:47
  Speaker 2: he's actually an alcoholic, and that's talked about in other clips,
• 3:50
  Speaker 2: so he was probably serious about that. Usually when people
• 3:53
  Speaker 2: are addicts, they are addicted to multiple things, not just
• 3:56
  Speaker 2: what they're currently complaining about. A lot of times one
• 3:58
  Speaker 2: addiction will activate the others, so hearing all that, those
• 4:02
  Speaker 2: of you who have watched this channel for a while,
• 4:04
  Speaker 2: We'll see this next clip as a surprise, which I'm
• 4:06
  Speaker 2: guessing comes a year or two after the last one.
• 4:09
  Speaker 3: So we're on.
• 4:13
  Speaker 2: The third public attempt. This may be a shock to him,
• 4:16
  Speaker 2: but it's not a shock to me, because he hasn't
• 4:18
  Speaker 2: really shown that he fully understands the problem. Because if
• 4:20
  Speaker 2: he did, he wouldn't continuously get caught up in this cycle.
• 4:23
  Speaker 2: The good news is, though, that because a lot of
• 4:25
  Speaker 2: people do get caught up in these addictive cycles, there's
• 4:28
  Speaker 2: a lot of incredibly specific information on how to escape them.
• 4:31
  Speaker 2: The bad news is that there are a ton of
• 4:32
  Speaker 2: people out there who also have incredibly specific information on
• 4:36
  Speaker 2: how to exploit those who are vulnerable. Now, I've talked
• 4:38
  Speaker 2: about this before on my channel, but I haven't talked
• 4:40
  Speaker 2: about just how scientific they are on the psychology of
• 4:43
  Speaker 2: trapping and exploiting addicts. Probably the most honest example I've
• 4:47
  Speaker 2: seen of this comes from a mobile game producer.
• 4:49
  Speaker 5: I'm here to talk about monetization. The tricks on how
• 4:53
  Speaker 5: to monetize a game well. Some of you will probably
• 4:58
  Speaker 5: be slightly shocked by all the tricks I have listed here,
• 5:02
  Speaker 5: but I'll leave the morality of it out of the talk.
• 5:06
  Speaker 5: We can discuss it if we have time later.
• 5:08
  Speaker 2: Well, you always know you're going to hear some messed
• 5:10
  Speaker 2: up shit when someone does an intro like that. Now,
• 5:13
  Speaker 2: as this speech is going on, keep in mind that
• 5:15
  Speaker 2: this occurred nine years ago, so this information has been
• 5:18
  Speaker 2: well known for a long time.
• 5:19
  Speaker 5: I've seen suggestions to model what you sell according to
• 5:23
  Speaker 5: battle types. The achievers want to progress in the game,
• 5:27
  Speaker 5: the socializers want to speak to other people, the killers
• 5:31
  Speaker 5: just want to compete and kill each other, and the
• 5:34
  Speaker 5: explorers are the guys who are after stories and... experiences.
• 5:39
  Speaker 5: You sell convenience to the achievers, which really means faster progress,
• 5:44
  Speaker 5: customization to socializers, hats and stuff, competitive advantage, that is
• 5:50
  Speaker 5: pay to win for the killers, and content for explorers. Now,
• 5:54
  Speaker 5: the reason I highlighted convenience up there or progress is
• 5:58
  Speaker 5: that most of your sales will be here. Customization, hats
• 6:02
  Speaker 5: and stuff, they're nice, but you'll have a single-digit percentage
• 6:06
  Speaker 5: of your income coming from that if you do both
• 6:09
  Speaker 5: that and progress. Competitive advantage is good, but you can
• 6:13
  Speaker 5: go overboard with it and have an unbalanced game. And content...
• 6:17
  Speaker 5: It takes a lot of resources and time to do that.
• 6:21
  Speaker 5: Selling content is very expensive. Hardly any team can keep
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  Speaker 5: up producing content at the pace needed.
• 6:28
  Speaker 2: So they know your personality archetype and how profitable you
• 6:31
  Speaker 2: are based on that. I was surprised to hear that
• 6:33
  Speaker 2: cosmetic items were so low on the list of priority,
• 6:35
  Speaker 2: but I was not surprised that leveling faster is the
• 6:38
  Speaker 2: most profitable because if you play these types of games,
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  Speaker 2: it is incredibly apparent that they make your leveling crazy
• 6:44
  Speaker 2: slow unless you pay. So they just waste your time
• 6:47
  Speaker 2: to the point where you'll start calculating your hourly wage
• 6:50
  Speaker 2: versus how long it takes to level in the game.
• 6:52
  Speaker 2: And they can get super predatory with these types of traps.
• 6:56
  Speaker 5: Loss aversion. This is, uh, people are much more attached
• 7:00
  Speaker 5: to the stuff they have than an equal amount of
• 7:03
  Speaker 5: things that they can gain. In games, you can apply
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  Speaker 5: this by giving people stuff that feels is in their pocket,
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  Speaker 5: and then threaten to take it away unless they pay up.
• 7:15
  Speaker 5: Lots of level-based games do this. There are collectibles in
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  Speaker 5: things like Puzzle & Dragons you collect along the way.
• 7:22
  Speaker 5: If you didn't finish the level, they'll take it from you. Now,
• 7:26
  Speaker 5: pay to continue a bit.
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  Speaker 2: It's funny because I bet a lot of the players
• 7:29
  Speaker 2: are thankful that the company gave them the opportunity to
• 7:31
  Speaker 2: pay so they wouldn't lose their stuff but the reality
• 7:34
  Speaker 2: is that the game is specifically designed to prey on
• 7:36
  Speaker 2: that psychology along with like 20 other tricks that they
• 7:39
  Speaker 2: use to get you to give them money. Social proof.
• 7:42
  Speaker 5: We are herd animals. We tend to do what all
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  Speaker 5: the others do. This means that the socially accepted way
• 7:49
  Speaker 5: of behaving in your game should be paying. For instance,
• 7:51
  Speaker 5: when a clan member of theirs spends IAP money, you
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  Speaker 5: want the whole clan to know. Because then that becomes
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  Speaker 5: the socially acceptable way of behaving. You absolutely do not
• 8:02
  Speaker 5: want to tell them that the majority of people in
• 8:04
  Speaker 5: your game never spend money. That's poison.
• 8:08
  Speaker 2: Every part of the design of the game is to
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  Speaker 2: get you to pay. This is why mobile games are
• 8:12
  Speaker 2: incredibly profitable and why you can see people spending into
• 8:15
  Speaker 2: the tens of thousands of dollars on a mediocre free game.
• 8:18
  Speaker 2: It's because they're addicted. That's the psychology of addiction and
• 8:22
  Speaker 2: there's a reason why addicts are almost always broke and
• 8:24
  Speaker 2: reliant on the finances of others. The only answer is
• 8:27
  Speaker 2: to avoid all products that are trying to prey on
• 8:29
  Speaker 2: you like this. So if it came to dieting, then
• 8:32
  Speaker 2: you would want to avoid ultra-processed foods like Oreos, that
• 8:35
  Speaker 2: have a predatory design just like mobile games do. Which
• 8:38
  Speaker 2: brings us back to another Tomska update after some undisclosed
• 8:41
  Speaker 2: period of time, and you guessed it, he's still fat.
• 8:44
  Speaker 3: At the start of 2015, with a newfound burst of
• 8:48
  Speaker 3: enthusiasm slash fear of death, I started a series called
• 8:52
  Speaker 3: Fat Loser to document my weight loss. I was really,
• 8:55
  Speaker 3: really gonna do it this time. No, I wasn't. Over
• 8:58
  Speaker 3: the next couple months, I received so much bad news
• 9:00
  Speaker 3: that I didn't know what to do with myself, and
• 9:03
  Speaker 3: I just ran straight back into the arms of my
• 9:05
  Speaker 3: two most loving and reliable... companions.
• 9:09
  Speaker 2: Attempt number four. As you can see, calories in versus
• 9:12
  Speaker 2: calories out has nothing to do with this. He's using
• 9:15
  Speaker 2: food as a coping mechanism for his problems, and until
• 9:18
  Speaker 2: he addresses that, he will continue to struggle with his weight.
• 9:21
  Speaker 3: By October, I was 260 pounds and completely desperate. I
• 9:26
  Speaker 3: saw an advert for a weight loss program and just thought,
• 9:30
  Speaker 3: why not? I am gonna die if I don't do this.
• 9:33
  Speaker 3: And two days into the program, they kicked me off
• 9:35
  Speaker 3: because my liver was so damaged from the drinking, that
• 9:38
  Speaker 3: I was too much of a health risk for them
• 9:40
  Speaker 3: to take responsibility for. By January 2016, I weighed 270 pounds,
• 9:44
  Speaker 3: but I had managed to get my liver a little
• 9:45
  Speaker 3: healthier and was allowed back onto the weight loss program.
• 9:48
  Speaker 3: And now that I have lost enough weight to get
• 9:50
  Speaker 3: myself back to where I was at the start of
• 9:51
  Speaker 3: Fat Loser last time, I figured it was time to
• 9:54
  Speaker 3: maybe start documenting this again.
• 9:56
  Speaker 2: So here's the part where he's showing he's an alcoholic
• 9:59
  Speaker 2: because of his liver problem. I would guess that alcohol
• 10:01
  Speaker 2: is his trigger to overeat because when you're drunk it
• 10:03
  Speaker 2: lowers your inhibitions, so it's pretty easy to drink a
• 10:06
  Speaker 2: couple of beers and then down two large pizzas without
• 10:09
  Speaker 2: fully remembering what you ate. However, his liver recovering suggests
• 10:13
  Speaker 2: that he stopped drinking, so he may have figured out
• 10:15
  Speaker 2: his mental issues.
• 10:16
  Speaker 3: But that doesn't mean I can stop trying, because if
• 10:18
  Speaker 3: there's one thing I've said in my life that made sense,
• 10:20
  Speaker 3: it's that failure isn't fucking up, it's giving up. So
• 10:25
  Speaker 3: I've just, I've got to keep trying. And I don't
• 10:28
  Speaker 3: know if it'll amount to anything, but wish me luck.
• 10:30
  Speaker 2: Actually, in addiction treatment, they say that relapse is a
• 10:33
  Speaker 2: part of recovery. If you want recovery to succeed, then
• 10:36
  Speaker 2: you go in with the idea that you will likely
• 10:38
  Speaker 2: screw up but you want to keep the screw up
• 10:40
  Speaker 2: as minor as possible, and you don't want to allow
• 10:42
  Speaker 2: a one-day mistake to turn into one month of mistakes
• 10:45
  Speaker 2: or one year of mistakes. With that said, let's go
• 10:48
  Speaker 2: to the final update.
• 10:49
  Speaker 3: Hey you, so I didn't want to make another weight
• 10:50
  Speaker 3: loss vlog until I'd actually lost some serious weight, and
• 10:52
  Speaker 3: in case you can't tell, I have now done just that.
• 10:56
  Speaker 3: I'm still a way off from where I want to be,
• 10:57
  Speaker 3: but things are going well, so I thought I would
• 11:00
  Speaker 3: check back in and let you know how I'm doing
• 11:01
  Speaker 3: and how I'm feeling and how I'm... looking... whatever, let's
• 11:04
  Speaker 3: get into it. So the first thing worth celebrating is
• 11:06
  Speaker 3: that I am now past the halfway point of this diet.
• 11:08
  Speaker 3: So far I have lost around 5 stone, or 70 pounds,
• 11:12
  Speaker 3: or 30 kilograms.
• 11:14
  Speaker 2: This is great. I don't know how long it's been,
• 11:16
  Speaker 2: but he said he's lost 70 pounds. That's not an
• 11:18
  Speaker 2: easy amount to lose, and healthy weight loss is around
• 11:21
  Speaker 2: 1-2 pounds a week, so he's been sober for months. Actually,
• 11:25
  Speaker 2: on the topic of being sober, I think people have
• 11:27
  Speaker 2: trouble calling overeating an addiction because they don't understand what
• 11:30
  Speaker 2: sobriety means. And that makes sense because you have to
• 11:32
  Speaker 2: eat to survive, which means you can't just not eat
• 11:35
  Speaker 2: and say you're sober because of abstinence like you would
• 11:37
  Speaker 2: with alcohol. So when it comes to food addiction, I
• 11:40
  Speaker 2: would say that using is a couple of things. I
• 11:42
  Speaker 2: would say that using is consuming ultra-processed foods that are
• 11:45
  Speaker 2: scientifically and chemically designed to be addictive. This would be
• 11:48
  Speaker 2: stuff like fast foods such as Taco Bell or McDonald's,
• 11:51
  Speaker 2: or candy with high fructose corn syrup, or stuff that's
• 11:54
  Speaker 2: in packages in the middle of the grocery store aisle.
• 11:57
  Speaker 2: More specifically, if it's one of the middle-of-the-aisle foods that
• 12:00
  Speaker 2: have multiple different types of sugar added to it when
• 12:03
  Speaker 2: the food itself does not require sugar, then you should
• 12:05
  Speaker 2: not be eating it. If you eat any of that stuff,
• 12:08
  Speaker 2: then it's like an alcoholic drinking a beer, and it
• 12:11
  Speaker 2: will gateway you into the next part of food addiction,
• 12:13
  Speaker 2: which is eating a massive amount of calories a day,
• 12:16
  Speaker 2: or binging. The addiction is not the food. The addiction
• 12:19
  Speaker 2: is eating like 6,000 calories in a 24-hour period. I
• 12:23
  Speaker 2: would say that if you regularly eat in excess of
• 12:25
  Speaker 2: 500 to 1,000 calories of your daily maintenance, then that's using.
• 12:29
  Speaker 2: I say 500 calories as sort of a grace window,
• 12:32
  Speaker 2: because if you're lifting weights, then you want to eat
• 12:34
  Speaker 2: about 300 to 500 calories over maintenance to gain muscle
• 12:36
  Speaker 2: during your bulking period. Anyway, Tom has had some success
• 12:39
  Speaker 2: with his diet, so let's see what he did.
• 12:41
  Speaker 3: I'm just on a very strict, medically supervised, supplement-heavy diet,
• 12:45
  Speaker 3: which provides me with basically just the things I need
• 12:48
  Speaker 3: to survive. And... I've only cheated on it like a
• 12:51
  Speaker 3: few times, I promise. I don't really want to talk
• 12:53
  Speaker 3: about the specific program I'm on until I can confirm
• 12:55
  Speaker 3: that it works in the long run.
• 12:56
  Speaker 2: That doesn't sound like sobriety. That sounds like a very
• 12:59
  Speaker 2: popular British shake diet, where you eat around 800 calories
• 13:02
  Speaker 2: a day that I showed in a video that I
• 13:04
  Speaker 2: made a while back, where a large amount of the
• 13:06
  Speaker 2: participants gained the weight back after around a year and
• 13:09
  Speaker 2: a half. So now I don't think he's broken away
• 13:11
  Speaker 2: from his addiction cycle. I think he's still in it.
• 13:14
  Speaker 3: I'm not really good at moderation or self-control. I'm either
• 13:17
  Speaker 3: eating everything or eating nothing and I just really needed
• 13:20
  Speaker 3: some help.
• 13:20
  Speaker 2: Yeah, that's very common with addicts, which is why I
• 13:23
  Speaker 2: don't think he'll solve this problem until maybe he goes
• 13:25
  Speaker 2: to a program like Alcoholics Anonymous to work on his
• 13:28
  Speaker 2: drinking problem and then he can take what he learns
• 13:30
  Speaker 2: from that and apply it to his problems with food.
• 13:32
  Speaker 2: To expand on what I said about food addiction and sobriety,
• 13:35
  Speaker 2: what he actually needs to practice is not weight loss.
• 13:38
  Speaker 2: He needs to stop trying to lose weight and instead
• 13:40
  Speaker 2: get used to not overeating. If he can't figure out
• 13:43
  Speaker 2: how to eat maintenance calories for an extended period of time,
• 13:46
  Speaker 2: then anytime he finishes his weight loss cycle, he's just
• 13:49
  Speaker 2: going to binge back to where he was. And because
• 13:52
  Speaker 2: addiction is a progressive disease, when he bounces back, he'll
• 13:55
  Speaker 2: bounce back worse than before. I would say that sobriety
• 13:58
  Speaker 2: for a food addict like Tom is staying within 3-500
• 14:01
  Speaker 2: calories above or below maintenance. And I cannot stress enough
• 14:05
  Speaker 2: that if you have the disease, you will not figure
• 14:07
  Speaker 2: it out yourself. You need to get treatment and learn
• 14:10
  Speaker 2: the different techniques that we have learned over the years
• 14:12
  Speaker 2: to keep you sober. Exploiting addicts is huge money, so
• 14:16
  Speaker 2: understand that there are tons of things to get addicted to,
• 14:19
  Speaker 2: and everything is trying to prey on you for money.
• 14:21
  Speaker 2: It's not just alcohol or cigarettes or processed foods. Praying
• 14:25
  Speaker 2: on addicts is so deeply rooted in so many corporate strategies,
• 14:28
  Speaker 2: that random shit like Duolingo is trying to use manipulation
• 14:32
  Speaker 2: techniques to get you addicted. Well, they have to, because
• 14:35
  Speaker 2: Duolingo will never make you fluent in a language, or
• 14:38
  Speaker 2: even get you past beginner level.
• 14:39
  Speaker 4: I think Duolingo is just good at making you think
• 14:42
  Speaker 4: that you're learning a language. You're getting things right, you're
• 14:45
  Speaker 4: turning the units purple, you're winning the game. And Duolingo's
• 14:49
  Speaker 4: marketing has made us think that winning that game is
• 14:53
  Speaker 4: to learn a language. Right.
• 14:55
  Speaker 2: It's very obvious that they're using the mobile game strategy
• 14:57
  Speaker 2: to hack your psychology, followed by more recently paywalling everything
• 15:01
  Speaker 2: by doing what that guy from earlier said was the
• 15:03
  Speaker 2: most lucrative model, which is requiring you to pay to
• 15:06
  Speaker 2: progress faster in the game. You can also pay Duolingo
• 15:09
  Speaker 2: to not lose your streak, so again, these strategies are
• 15:12
  Speaker 2: very prominent.
• 15:13
  Speaker 4: But I also did all the Duolingo. There wasn't a
• 15:16
  Speaker 4: word or phrase in the Swedish Duolingo tree that I
• 15:19
  Speaker 4: didn't know Still, after that long, if I tried to
• 15:22
  Speaker 4: watch a Swedish series with just Swedish subtitles, I had
• 15:25
  Speaker 4: no idea what was going on. I would go to
• 15:27
  Speaker 4: Swedish parties and gatherings in Sydney, and I could hold
• 15:31
  Speaker 4: a conversation, but as soon as they spoke to each
• 15:34
  Speaker 4: other rather than to me, nothing.
• 15:36
  Speaker 2: Anyone who is actually half-decent at a language can tell
• 15:39
  Speaker 2: you that apps like Duolingo are complete garbage. By half-decent,
• 15:43
  Speaker 2: I mean the European language scale B1 level describes your ability.
• 15:47
  Speaker 2: So basically we're talking about the start of intermediate level.
• 15:50
  Speaker 2: But the problem here is that Duolingo is so good
• 15:53
  Speaker 2: at getting people addicted to the app, that even though
• 15:56
  Speaker 2: it doesn't work, they can't quit.
• 15:58
  Speaker 4: I'm going to reject that Duolingo is helping us all
• 16:01
  Speaker 4: to learn languages, and I'm going to reject that it
• 16:03
  Speaker 4: can't hurt, because not only is it not very effective,
• 16:07
  Speaker 4: but it's good at convincing people that it is effective
• 16:10
  Speaker 4: and getting them hooked on it. As I looked through
• 16:12
  Speaker 4: more of the comments on Evan's video about it, I
• 16:15
  Speaker 4: realized that lots of people were exhibiting behavior that suggested
• 16:19
  Speaker 4: almost like an addiction or at least an unhealthy relationship
• 16:23
  Speaker 4: with this app that they don't even like. The video
• 16:25
  Speaker 4: has over 2,600 comments, and I didn't find a single
• 16:29
  Speaker 4: one that was in support of the change. But I
• 16:32
  Speaker 4: also only found one, one comment, that suggested that the
• 16:36
  Speaker 4: person was actually done with Duolingo. And I think it's because, honestly,
• 16:40
  Speaker 4: these people don't know where else they can go.
• 16:43
  Speaker 2: So the guy says that he thinks people won't leave
• 16:45
  Speaker 2: Duolingo because they don't know what else to do. Well, first,
• 16:48
  Speaker 2: you can just look up language learning strategies on YouTube.
• 16:51
  Speaker 2: There are tons of videos that are good. Actually, I'll
• 16:54
  Speaker 2: give you a little help because people won't stop asking
• 16:56
  Speaker 2: me how to learn Japanese. I would say that I'm
• 16:58
  Speaker 2: B2 moving towards C1 at Japanese, which is like intermediate
• 17:02
  Speaker 2: pushing towards advanced. All of my study techniques are on screen.
• 17:05
  Speaker 2: Most of these can be applied to other languages. Basically,
• 17:08
  Speaker 2: if you want to actually get good at a language,
• 17:11
  Speaker 2: then you need to go Dark Souls mode, throw yourself
• 17:13
  Speaker 2: into an environment where you don't understand that much, and
• 17:16
  Speaker 2: then try to succeed anyway. You can't just learn a
• 17:18
  Speaker 2: language by using an app for 15 minutes a day.
• 17:21
  Speaker 2: That's a joke. I can't believe Duolingo calls you a
• 17:23
  Speaker 2: serious learner for doing just 15 minutes. I don't even
• 17:26
  Speaker 2: think that would get you past the ability to greet
• 17:28
  Speaker 2: someone in Japanese if you practiced for two years. But
• 17:32
  Speaker 2: the reason I'm talking about all this is because it
• 17:34
  Speaker 2: kind of seems like people like TomSka who got addicted
• 17:36
  Speaker 2: to food and alcohol, or even people who get addicted
• 17:39
  Speaker 2: to Duolingo, are kind of experiencing the same process where
• 17:42
  Speaker 2: they can't stop because they don't know any better. But
• 17:45
  Speaker 2: the reality is that there are effective ways of solving
• 17:47
  Speaker 2: their problems if they just have the right information. However,
• 17:50
  Speaker 2: the issue is that they are so allergic to learning
• 17:53
  Speaker 2: new things that they just repeat the same cycle over
• 17:55
  Speaker 2: and over, and it makes them completely miserable.
• 17:58
  Speaker 3: I'm all for body positivity, but the fact remains that
• 18:00
  Speaker 3: I just don't enjoy being overweight. I don't like how
• 18:03
  Speaker 3: I look, and so I don't go outside, I don't
• 18:06
  Speaker 3: see the world, I don't want to be in photos
• 18:08
  Speaker 3: or in videos or make memories because I don't want
• 18:10
  Speaker 3: to remember this, and I'm just tired of stopping myself
• 18:14
  Speaker 3: from living. And also I want to wear nice suits.
• 18:17
  Speaker 2: Yeah, so his problem is so bad that he doesn't
• 18:19
  Speaker 2: want people seeing him because he knows they will judge
• 18:22
  Speaker 2: his addiction. And I think a part of addiction recovery
• 18:25
  Speaker 2: is that you really need to write out all the
• 18:26
  Speaker 2: ways that your addiction is causing you harm. Don't just
• 18:29
  Speaker 2: leave them up in the air. Actually define them because
• 18:32
  Speaker 2: the process of recovery is to stack up like 10
• 18:34
  Speaker 2: different motivators at the same time to push you in
• 18:37
  Speaker 2: the direction of sobriety. Having a well-developed understanding of how
• 18:41
  Speaker 2: something hurts you is a strong motivator. And also understand
• 18:44
  Speaker 2: that as fun as it is to engage with a vice,
• 18:46
  Speaker 2: If you engage with it too much, eventually it's going
• 18:48
  Speaker 2: to turn into a prison. And that's something that is
• 18:51
  Speaker 2: reported by numerous addicts who are trying to recover. Here's
• 18:54
  Speaker 2: an example of that.
• 18:55
  Speaker 6: What felt the most impossible was actually ever stopping. And
• 18:59
  Speaker 6: I think that's what scares so many gamblers and people
• 19:04
  Speaker 6: I talk to is like, how is this ever going
• 19:07
  Speaker 6: to stop? And I'm like, bro, I lived like that
• 19:09
  Speaker 6: for 12 years. I could never stop gambling. And it
• 19:14
  Speaker 6: was all day. It was all day from the moment
• 19:17
  Speaker 6: my eyes woke up. I checked sports. I checked lines.
• 19:20
  Speaker 6: I checked everything to the moment I went to bed
• 19:22
  Speaker 6: and it was incessant over and over again. And I
• 19:25
  Speaker 6: tell people, I'm like, I lived in prison. All right.
• 19:28
  Speaker 2: So that was the end of Tom's weight loss journey archive.
• 19:31
  Speaker 2: I really don't know exactly how many years ago this was,
• 19:33
  Speaker 2: but one of the videos he said was from 2015.
• 19:36
  Speaker 2: So I can imagine that it's around maybe 10 years.
• 19:38
  Speaker 2: That means some time has passed, so we can just
• 19:40
  Speaker 2: check on his channel and take a look at how
• 19:42
  Speaker 2: he's doing.
• 19:42
  Speaker 3: I'm going to grab a beer. You want one? Nah,
• 19:44
  Speaker 3: I'm good. Oh, by the way, don't press that button. Wow.
• 19:49
  Speaker 2: Okay. So he really messed up. It's sad to see
• 19:51
  Speaker 2: that after all these years, he didn't figure out the
• 19:54
  Speaker 2: answer to his addiction.
• 19:55
  Speaker 3: Failure isn't fucking up. It's giving up.
• 19:58
  Speaker 2: I guess he gave up. It's kind of sad to
• 20:00
  Speaker 2: see because the reason he's failing is not because he
• 20:02
  Speaker 2: lacks discipline or willpower. He lost 70 pounds. And even
• 20:06
  Speaker 2: if he lost it at an incredibly unhealthy pace, like
• 20:08
  Speaker 2: four pounds a week, We're still talking about him maintaining
• 20:11
  Speaker 2: a diet for over four months. That's not someone who
• 20:14
  Speaker 2: doesn't have discipline. That's someone who doesn't have the right
• 20:16
  Speaker 2: information and someone who's missing the proper coping strategies, which
• 20:20
  Speaker 2: you can learn provided that you get treatment, expose yourself
• 20:22
  Speaker 2: to new information, and implement the new things you learn
• 20:25
  Speaker 2: as quickly as possible. Though it doesn't matter how long
• 20:28
  Speaker 2: you've been struggling with addiction, tons of people struggle for
• 20:31
  Speaker 2: decades and are still able to make it into recovery.
• 20:33
  Speaker 6: I'm an addict in recovery. I'm sober three years this
• 20:36
  Speaker 6: month in January.
• 20:37
  Speaker 1: Congratulations.
• 20:38
  Speaker 6: Thank you. Yeah, it took me 10 years to get
• 20:41
  Speaker 6: one year sober. I'm also a compulsive gambler. I just
• 20:45
  Speaker 6: hit a year in Gamblers Anonymous. It took me 10
• 20:48
  Speaker 6: plus years to get a year in that program as well.
• 20:51
  Speaker 2: That guy's name is Lewis, and after listening to his
• 20:53
  Speaker 2: story on the We're All Insane podcast, I have to
• 20:56
  Speaker 2: say that he was a pretty severe addict who was
• 20:57
  Speaker 2: addicted to alcohol, hard drugs, and his worst addiction was gambling.
• 21:01
  Speaker 2: It was a little unclear, but he's been sober from
• 21:04
  Speaker 2: alcohol and pills for three years. and sober from gambling,
• 21:07
  Speaker 2: his true addiction, for a little over a year. And
• 21:10
  Speaker 2: a part of him surviving for that year is understanding
• 21:13
  Speaker 2: what his triggers were.
• 21:13
  Speaker 6: I'm so certain that I'm powerless over that first bet.
• 21:17
  Speaker 6: I'm so certain that I'm powerless that if I take
• 21:20
  Speaker 6: a sip of alcohol right now, there is a very
• 21:23
  Speaker 6: high chance I'm on a plane to Cartagena, Colombia within
• 21:25
  Speaker 6: the next 12 hours to burn my life down. That's
• 21:28
  Speaker 6: how severe of an addict I am. My disease is
• 21:33
  Speaker 6: never cured. I can arrest it. I can keep it arrested.
• 21:37
  Speaker 6: But as an addict, my disease is never, ever cured.
• 21:40
  Speaker 2: Many addicts will realize that one addiction will trigger your
• 21:43
  Speaker 2: more severe addictions. So like with Tom's guy, his severe
• 21:46
  Speaker 2: addiction was food, and that would likely be triggered by
• 21:49
  Speaker 2: his addiction to alcohol that he was using as a
• 21:52
  Speaker 2: coping mechanism for the bad things that were going on
• 21:54
  Speaker 2: in his life. And the more you listen to addicts,
• 21:56
  Speaker 2: the more you'll realize that all these people have the
• 21:58
  Speaker 2: same story in one way or another.
• 22:00
  Speaker 6: I used to live in the nines and the tens
• 22:02
  Speaker 6: or the zeros and the ones. And like now, like
• 22:05
  Speaker 6: I've had to like reset my brain and emotional system
• 22:08
  Speaker 6: to like, there's going to be like when I get
• 22:11
  Speaker 6: married in March, that's going to be a nine or
• 22:13
  Speaker 6: a 10 and that's going to be amazing. And then
• 22:14
  Speaker 6: it's going to go back to being in the four
• 22:16
  Speaker 6: or five and sixes. And that's also okay. Like that's
• 22:20
  Speaker 6: actually good for somebody like me.
• 22:23
  Speaker 2: Does that sound familiar? Tom's got said that he's either
• 22:25
  Speaker 2: eating everything or eating nothing. He's either seeking a 10
• 22:28
  Speaker 2: out of 10 day where he eats as much pizza
• 22:30
  Speaker 2: and ice cream as he wants or or he's experiencing
• 22:33
  Speaker 2: a 1 out of 10 day by being on some
• 22:35
  Speaker 2: crash diet. This is the story of every addict because
• 22:38
  Speaker 2: they love living in the extremes, and a part of
• 22:40
  Speaker 2: recovery is teaching them how to live with normal amounts
• 22:43
  Speaker 2: of stimulation.
• 22:44
  Speaker 6: The drugs, alcohol, and gambling weren't my problem. After a
• 22:47
  Speaker 6: certain point, it was the solution to my problem. My
• 22:49
  Speaker 6: problem is my way of thinking.
• 22:51
  Speaker 2: That's really all it is. If you're trying to use
• 22:53
  Speaker 2: every inch of your willpower to solve a problem, then
• 22:56
  Speaker 2: you're doing it wrong. It should actually take very little
• 22:59
  Speaker 2: discipline to manage an addiction because if you're managing it properly,
• 23:02
  Speaker 2: then you will have a whole set of strategies that
• 23:04
  Speaker 2: will keep you from using, and you learn those by
• 23:07
  Speaker 2: getting treatments. Now, just for a point of nuance, I
• 23:09
  Speaker 2: do want to say that everyone does things that are
• 23:11
  Speaker 2: bad for them. The difference between someone who is healthy
• 23:14
  Speaker 2: and someone who is an addict is that addicts take
• 23:17
  Speaker 2: things to the extremes, the extremes get more extreme as
• 23:19
  Speaker 2: time goes on, and they cannot stop despite negative consequences,
• 23:23
  Speaker 2: which is why they need treatments. Though understandably, going to
• 23:27
  Speaker 2: find a therapist or going to something like a 12-step
• 23:29
  Speaker 2: meeting can seem a little intimidating, so I will say
• 23:32
  Speaker 2: that if you have a problem and you aren't comfortable
• 23:33
  Speaker 2: with seeking out help yet, then watching the We're All
• 23:36
  Speaker 2: Insane podcast, especially the ones that feature addicts in recovery,
• 23:39
  Speaker 2: can be a good sort of pre-treatment to getting help
• 23:42
  Speaker 2: in the future. When you hear your story through other
• 23:44
  Speaker 2: people over and over, it can be quite motivating. Outside
• 23:47
  Speaker 2: of this, understand that solving these kinds of problems is
• 23:50
  Speaker 2: a test of endurance, which is why I recommended long
• 23:53
  Speaker 2: distance walking for people who are really overweight and long
• 23:56
  Speaker 2: distance running for those who are healthier, because it teaches
• 23:59
  Speaker 2: you a mental lesson. If you want to succeed at
• 24:01
  Speaker 2: running long distances, the worst thing that you can do
• 24:04
  Speaker 2: is focus on the end goal. If you're a beginner
• 24:07
  Speaker 2: and your goal is to run one mile, then focusing
• 24:09
  Speaker 2: on the entire mile is the most likely thing that
• 24:12
  Speaker 2: will get you to quit early. If you want to succeed...
• 24:15
  Speaker 2: A good mindset is, I'm just going to run a
• 24:17
  Speaker 2: tenth of a mile. Then, when you make it there,
• 24:19
  Speaker 2: you say, just one more tenth. Eventually, you'll hit seven tenths,
• 24:23
  Speaker 2: and you'll be really tired, but I mean, you're almost
• 24:25
  Speaker 2: done with the full mile, so you might as well finish.
• 24:27
  Speaker 2: And that same mentality applies to sobriety. You're not trying
• 24:31
  Speaker 2: to get a full year sober or make it a
• 24:32
  Speaker 2: year without engaging in your vices. You're just trying to
• 24:35
  Speaker 2: get to the next day. Maybe you don't know if
• 24:37
  Speaker 2: you can make it a year, but certainly you can
• 24:39
  Speaker 2: make it just one more day. You do that 360
• 24:42
  Speaker 2: or so times, and then you have a full year.
• 24:45
  Speaker 2: And the more days you make it, the more resistance
• 24:47
  Speaker 2: you'll have to giving up because you don't want to
• 24:48
  Speaker 2: break your streak. On top of that, the longer you
• 24:51
  Speaker 2: make it, the more you'll also start to forget what
• 24:53
  Speaker 2: it feels like to use, which will make it even
• 24:55
  Speaker 2: easier to stay sober. Anyway, thanks for watching, follow me
• 24:58
  Speaker 2: on Twitter, and I'll see you in the next video.