Latest / Motivation Mindset Podcast / Discipline Yourself: Take Control and Transform Your Life

Transcript

Discipline Yourself: Take Control and Transform Your Life · Motivation Mindset Podcast

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Every day, you know, it gets dusty, and every day
• 0:03
  Speaker 1: you don't start with them with the victories.
• 0:06
  Speaker 2: You don't going, oh this is nice, looking at my,
• 0:08
  Speaker 2: Look at my, I love me well, I mean cleaning
• 0:10
  Speaker 2: up this little dusty No, I go right for the
• 0:12
  Speaker 2: things that can keep me buried, and I go right
• 0:15
  Speaker 2: there first, because if I don't clean those out first,
• 0:18
  Speaker 2: the day doesn't start.
• 0:20
  Speaker 1: So what are you saying to me is truth? And
• 0:25
  Speaker 1: like I told you many times a day, I can
• 0:28
  Speaker 1: never figure out how to explain this people, because I'm
• 0:32
  Speaker 1: not neuro nothing. I'm just a guy that said, Okay,
• 0:37
  Speaker 1: we got to start in the dungeon and we got
• 0:40
  Speaker 1: to stay here for the rest of our lives.
• 0:44
  Speaker 2: For you to become successful.
• 0:45
  Speaker 1: The dungeon is the place that has to be cleaned,
• 0:49
  Speaker 1: and it's the scariest place to be.
• 0:51
  Speaker 2: That's why I'm misunderstood because I'm speaking from the dungeon.
• 0:55
  Speaker 1: That's why I am successful because I go there every
• 0:59
  Speaker 1: damn day.
• 1:00
  Speaker 2: And that is the truth.
• 1:02
  Speaker 1: What he says, it's the exact truth. Those cabinets are dusty, dirty,
• 1:08
  Speaker 1: and scariest, broken glass, dark, spiders, cobwebs, but most of all,
• 1:18
  Speaker 1: your biggest fears the biggest things that put you in
• 1:22
  Speaker 1: the place you are today are in there. So we
• 1:24
  Speaker 1: all like to keep him shut. You can like to
• 1:26
  Speaker 1: lock them up, act like it never happens. You never grow,
• 1:30
  Speaker 1: you never improve, You never have real conversations like we're
• 1:33
  Speaker 1: having right now. Never never no no, no, no, no
• 1:37
  Speaker 1: no no, let's not no no no, let's not go there.
• 1:40
  Speaker 2: I talk to so many people who tell.
• 1:41
  Speaker 1: Me that let's talk about this because they'll tell me,
• 1:47
  Speaker 1: but they can only say it once, and they'll say
• 1:50
  Speaker 1: it in passing. They won't get deep in the weeds
• 1:52
  Speaker 1: with it.
• 1:53
  Speaker 2: It's like you can't just clean it.
• 1:56
  Speaker 1: You gotta spit shine that month. You got to read,
• 2:00
  Speaker 1: live it, every detail of it. You can't be like,
• 2:04
  Speaker 1: oh yeah, yeah, my dad beat me, and you know,
• 2:07
  Speaker 1: you know.
• 2:08
  Speaker 2: It is what it is. It is what it is, motherfucker.
• 2:11
  Speaker 2: It's killing you. It's taking over your whole life. But
• 2:16
  Speaker 2: that's the conversation. Yeah my dad, I'm fine now.
• 2:18
  Speaker 1: Though, I'm good, Okay, all right, now you're at You
• 2:23
  Speaker 1: ain't fine, You ain't fine.
• 2:25
  Speaker 2: This is this is real talk.
• 2:27
  Speaker 1: People don''t have that. So your boy's right, one hundred
• 2:30
  Speaker 1: percent right. Scary as it's scary as ship. That makes
• 2:36
  Speaker 1: you who you're supposed to be.
• 2:39
  Speaker 2: And that's the test.
• 2:41
  Speaker 1: We forget. We think we're supposed to breathe there and
• 2:44
  Speaker 1: have kids and pay the bills and.
• 2:48
  Speaker 2: Everyone, what's what's this life about? That ain't no sense
• 2:53
  Speaker 2: to being tested, my friend. Tests come.
• 2:58
  Speaker 1: When you have not studied. Tests come when you think
• 3:02
  Speaker 1: that you're in a great place. That's the test. The
• 3:05
  Speaker 1: test is every day of your life. And most of
• 3:07
  Speaker 1: us failed because we don't know why we're here, because
• 3:10
  Speaker 1: we don't go inward to say, oh, you gave me
• 3:13
  Speaker 1: a lot of fix man, and this test sucks.
• 3:18
  Speaker 2: But then you start.
• 3:22
  Speaker 1: I'd learned how to hold myself accountable, and I knew
• 3:26
  Speaker 1: I could take a man's soul in the heat of battle.
• 3:29
  Speaker 1: I had overcome many obstacles and realized that each of
• 3:33
  Speaker 1: those experiences had calloused my mind so thick I could
• 3:36
  Speaker 1: take on any challenge. All of that had made me
• 3:39
  Speaker 1: feel like I dealt with my past demons.
• 3:41
  Speaker 2: But I hadn't.
• 3:42
  Speaker 1: I've been ignoring them. My memories of abuse at the
• 3:45
  Speaker 1: hands of my father, of all those people who called
• 3:48
  Speaker 1: me didn't vaporize after a few victories. Those moments were
• 3:52
  Speaker 1: anchored deep in my subconscious. As a result, my foundation
• 3:57
  Speaker 1: was cracked. And a human being, your character is your foundation.
• 4:01
  Speaker 1: And when you build a bunch of successes and pile
• 4:03
  Speaker 1: up even more failures on a foundation, the structure that
• 4:06
  Speaker 1: is the self won't be sound. To develop an armored mind,
• 4:10
  Speaker 1: a mindset so callous and hard that becomes bulletproof, you
• 4:14
  Speaker 1: need to go to the source of all your fears
• 4:17
  Speaker 1: and insecurities. Most of us sweep our failures and evil
• 4:21
  Speaker 1: secrets under the rug, But when we run into problems,
• 4:25
  Speaker 1: that rug gets lifted up and our darkness re emerges,
• 4:28
  Speaker 1: floods our soul and influences the decisions which determine our character.
• 4:33
  Speaker 1: My fears were never just about the water, and my
• 4:35
  Speaker 1: anxieties toward Class two hundred and thirty five weren't about
• 4:37
  Speaker 1: the pain of first phase. They were seeping from the
• 4:41
  Speaker 1: infected wounds I've been walking around with my entire life,
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  Speaker 1: and my denial of them amounted to a denial of myself.
• 4:48
  Speaker 1: I was my own worst enemy. It wasn't the world,
• 4:52
  Speaker 1: or God or the devil that was out to get me.
• 4:55
  Speaker 3: It was me.
• 4:56
  Speaker 1: I was rejecting my past, and therefore rejecting myself, my foundation,
• 5:01
  Speaker 1: my character was defined by self rejection. All my fears
• 5:04
  Speaker 1: came from that deep seated uneasiness I carry with being
• 5:07
  Speaker 1: David Goggins because of what I'd gone through. Even after
• 5:10
  Speaker 1: I'd reached a point where I no longer cared about
• 5:12
  Speaker 1: what others thought of me, I still had trouble accepting me.
• 5:16
  Speaker 1: Anyone who is of sound mind and body can sit
• 5:21
  Speaker 1: down and think of twenty things in their life that
• 5:24
  Speaker 1: could have gone differently, where maybe they didn't get a
• 5:28
  Speaker 1: fair shake, and where they took the path of least resistance.
• 5:33
  Speaker 1: If you're one of the few who acknowledge that want
• 5:36
  Speaker 1: to callous those wounds and strengthen your character, it's up
• 5:39
  Speaker 1: to you to go back through your past and make
• 5:42
  Speaker 1: peace with yourself by facing those incidents and all of
• 5:45
  Speaker 1: your negative influences and accepting them as weak spots in
• 5:49
  Speaker 1: your own character. Only when you identify and accept your
• 5:53
  Speaker 1: weaknesses where you finally stopped running from your past, then
• 5:57
  Speaker 1: those incidents can be used more efficiently as fuel to
• 6:00
  Speaker 1: become better and grow stronger. Right there on Mom's couch,
• 6:06
  Speaker 1: as the moon burned its arc in the night sky,
• 6:08
  Speaker 1: I faced down my demons. I faced myself. I couldn't
• 6:12
  Speaker 1: run from my dad anymore. I had to accept that
• 6:15
  Speaker 1: he was part of me, and that his lying, cheating
• 6:19
  Speaker 1: character influenced me more than I cared to admit. Before
• 6:24
  Speaker 1: that night, I used to tell people that my father
• 6:27
  Speaker 1: had died rather than tell the truth about where I
• 6:29
  Speaker 1: came from. Even in the seals, I trotted out that line.
• 6:33
  Speaker 1: I knew why when you get beat up, you don't
• 6:36
  Speaker 1: want to acknowledge getting your ass kicked.
• 6:38
  Speaker 2: It doesn't make.
• 6:39
  Speaker 1: You feel very manly, so the easiest thing to do
• 6:42
  Speaker 1: is forget about it and move on, pretend it never happened,
• 6:47
  Speaker 1: not anymore. Going forward, it became very important for me
• 6:50
  Speaker 1: to rehash my life, because when you examine your experiences
• 6:54
  Speaker 1: with a fine tooth comb and see where your issues
• 6:57
  Speaker 1: come from, you can find strength and in pain and abuse.
• 7:01
  Speaker 1: By accepting Trunni's goggins as part of me, I was
• 7:05
  Speaker 1: free to use where I came from as fuel. I
• 7:07
  Speaker 1: realized that each episode of child abuse that could have
• 7:11
  Speaker 1: killed me made me tough as hell and as sharp
• 7:13
  Speaker 1: as a Samuraiz blade.
• 7:15
  Speaker 3: It took several years for me to figure out who
• 7:18
  Speaker 3: the devil was, and the devil was my father. The
• 7:22
  Speaker 3: devil was my father. But what I didn't put and
• 7:24
  Speaker 3: never finished was the devil really was me. So what
• 7:30
  Speaker 3: happened was I put all this blame and trust me,
• 7:34
  Speaker 3: my father and a lot of people had to do.
• 7:36
  Speaker 1: With my upbringing on how it was.
• 7:39
  Speaker 3: But like I put in that book, no one's gonna
• 7:41
  Speaker 3: come back and say, hey, man, I apologize. Maybe someone does,
• 7:47
  Speaker 3: very few people will. So at the end of the day,
• 7:50
  Speaker 3: when all thieves are said and done with.
• 7:53
  Speaker 2: While my dad was.
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  Speaker 3: The devil and I believed that for a long time,
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  Speaker 3: I had it, I had to confront him. I confronted
• 8:00
  Speaker 3: the devil. So what I thought was the devil, I
• 8:03
  Speaker 3: realized that I was the true devil. I was the
• 8:06
  Speaker 3: one holding me back. I was the one looking for
• 8:09
  Speaker 3: the escapegoat. And you know, I was the one looking
• 8:12
  Speaker 3: for all.
• 8:12
  Speaker 1: These ways to say it's okay, David. You're a loser.
• 8:16
  Speaker 3: You're a born loser, so it's okay. And I was
• 8:19
  Speaker 3: hoping my dad was gonna give me that confirmation, and
• 8:23
  Speaker 3: he was a loser himself.
• 8:24
  Speaker 2: But the end of the day, when I left it,
• 8:25
  Speaker 2: I realized I.
• 8:26
  Speaker 3: Supposed to man this all me. My dad packed up
• 8:30
  Speaker 3: my mom's up. The people around me are up. They're
• 8:34
  Speaker 3: not gonna save you. You gotta save yourself, my friend.
• 8:38
  Speaker 3: So that's when all that reality hit me. When I
• 8:40
  Speaker 3: went to Buffalo to see my dad another drive home,
• 8:44
  Speaker 3: I was like, Man, this rest of your life is
• 8:46
  Speaker 3: gonna suck, and is going to suck, not because you're
• 8:49
  Speaker 3: gonna be a loser, but because you're gonna finally start
• 8:53
  Speaker 3: to win.
• 8:54
  Speaker 1: And winning is not easy, my friend. I remember it
• 8:57
  Speaker 1: as a kid, no matter how up our life was,
• 9:00
  Speaker 1: my mother always figured out a way to stock our
• 9:02
  Speaker 1: damn cookie jar. She'd buy wafers and oreos, Pepperidge Farm
• 9:07
  Speaker 1: milanos and chips, and whenever she showed up with a
• 9:11
  Speaker 1: new batch of cookies, she dumped them into one jar.
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  Speaker 1: With her permission, we'd get to pick one or two
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  Speaker 1: out at a time. It was like a mini treasure hunt.
• 9:20
  Speaker 1: I remember the joy of dropping my fist into that jar,
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  Speaker 1: wondering what I'd find, and before I crammed the cookie
• 9:27
  Speaker 1: in my mouth, I always took the time to admire
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  Speaker 1: it first, Especially when we're broken, Brazil, I turn it
• 9:34
  Speaker 1: around in my hand and say my own little prayer
• 9:37
  Speaker 1: of thanks. The feeling of being that kid locked in
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  Speaker 1: a moment of gratitude for a simple gift like a
• 9:45
  Speaker 1: cookie came back to me. I felt it viscerally, and
• 9:50
  Speaker 1: I used that concept to stuff a new kind of
• 9:52
  Speaker 1: cookie jar. Inside it were all my past victories, like
• 9:56
  Speaker 1: the time when I had to study three times as
• 9:58
  Speaker 1: hard as anybody else during my senior year in high
• 10:02
  Speaker 1: school just to graduate. That was a cookie. Or when
• 10:05
  Speaker 1: I passed the as Baptist as a senior, and then
• 10:07
  Speaker 1: again to get into boots two more cookies. I remember
• 10:10
  Speaker 1: dropping over one hundred pounds in under three months, conquering
• 10:14
  Speaker 1: my fear of water, graduating Buzz at the top of
• 10:17
  Speaker 1: my class, and being named enlisted honor Man in Army
• 10:21
  Speaker 1: Ranger School, all th over cookies loaded with chocolate chunks.
• 10:24
  Speaker 1: These weren't mere flashbacks. I wasn't just floating through my
• 10:29
  Speaker 1: memory files. I actually tapped into the emotional state I
• 10:32
  Speaker 1: felt during those victories, and then so doing access to
• 10:36
  Speaker 1: my sympathetic nervous system once again, my adrenaline took over.
• 10:40
  Speaker 1: The pain started to fade just enough, and my pace
• 10:43
  Speaker 1: picked up. I began swinging my arms and lengthening my stride.
• 10:47
  Speaker 3: My fractured feet were.
• 10:48
  Speaker 1: Still a bloody mess full of blisters, the toenails peeling
• 10:52
  Speaker 1: off almost every toe, but I kept pounding, and soon
• 10:55
  Speaker 1: it was me who was slaloming runners with pain expression
• 11:00
  Speaker 1: as I raced the clock. From then on, the cookie
• 11:04
  Speaker 1: jar became a concept I've employed whenever I need a
• 11:06
  Speaker 1: reminder of who I am and what I'm capable of.
• 11:10
  Speaker 1: We all have a cookie jar inside us, because life,
• 11:14
  Speaker 1: being what it is, has always tested us. Even if
• 11:17
  Speaker 1: you're feeling low and beat down by life right now,
• 11:20
  Speaker 1: I guarantee you can think of a time or two
• 11:22
  Speaker 1: when you overcame odds and tasted success. It doesn't have
• 11:26
  Speaker 1: to be a big victory either. It can be something small.
• 11:31
  Speaker 1: I know we all want the whole victory today, But
• 11:34
  Speaker 1: when I was teaching myself to read, I would be
• 11:37
  Speaker 1: happy when I could understand every word in a single paragraph.
• 11:41
  Speaker 1: I knew I still had a long way to go
• 11:44
  Speaker 1: to move from a third grade reading level to that
• 11:47
  Speaker 1: of a senior in high school, but even a small
• 11:50
  Speaker 1: win like that was enough to keep me interested in
• 11:54
  Speaker 1: learning and finding more within myself. You don't drop one
• 11:58
  Speaker 1: hundred pounds in less than three months with losing five pounds.
• 12:01
  Speaker 2: In a week.
• 12:01
  Speaker 1: First, those first five pounds I lost were a small
• 12:06
  Speaker 1: accomplishment and it doesn't sound like a lot, but at
• 12:10
  Speaker 1: the time it was proof that I could lose weight
• 12:12
  Speaker 1: and that my goal, however improbable, was not impossible. The
• 12:17
  Speaker 1: engine in a rocket ship does not fire without a
• 12:20
  Speaker 1: small spark. First. We all need small sparks, small accomplishments
• 12:24
  Speaker 1: in our lives to fuel the big ones. Think of
• 12:28
  Speaker 1: your small accomplishments as kindling. When you want a bonfire,
• 12:32
  Speaker 1: you don't start by lighting a big log. You collect
• 12:35
  Speaker 1: some witch's hair, a small pile of hay, or some
• 12:38
  Speaker 1: dry dead grass. You light that and then add small
• 12:42
  Speaker 1: sticks and bigger sticks before you feed your tree stump
• 12:45
  Speaker 1: into the blaze, because it's the small sparks which start
• 12:49
  Speaker 1: small fires that eventually build enough heat to burn the
• 12:53
  Speaker 1: whole forest down. If you don't have any big accomplishments
• 12:56
  Speaker 1: to draw on yet, so be it. You're a small victory.
• 13:00
  Speaker 1: Are your cookies to save her? And make sure you
• 13:02
  Speaker 1: do savor them.
• 13:04
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 13:04
  Speaker 1: I was hard on myself when I looked in the
• 13:06
  Speaker 1: accountability mirror, but I also praised myself whenever I could
• 13:11
  Speaker 1: claim a small victory, because we all need that, and
• 13:15
  Speaker 1: very few of us take the time to celebrate our successes. Sure,
• 13:20
  Speaker 1: in the moment we might enjoy them, but do we
• 13:23
  Speaker 1: ever look back on them and feel that win again
• 13:25
  Speaker 1: and again. Maybe that sounds narcissistic to you, but I'm
• 13:30
  Speaker 1: not talking about droning on and bullshitting about the glory
• 13:33
  Speaker 1: days here. I'm not suggesting you crawl up your own
• 13:36
  Speaker 1: ass and bore your friends with all your stories about
• 13:38
  Speaker 1: what a badass you used to be. Nobody wants to
• 13:41
  Speaker 1: hear that. I'm talking about utilizing past successes to fuel
• 13:45
  Speaker 1: you to new and bigger ones. Because in the heat
• 13:48
  Speaker 1: of battle, when she gets real, when you need to
• 13:50
  Speaker 1: draw inspiration to push through our own exhaustion, depression, pain
• 13:54
  Speaker 1: and misery, we need to spark a bunch of small
• 13:57
  Speaker 1: fires to become the mother inferno. But digging into the
• 14:01
  Speaker 1: cookie jar when things are going south takes focus and determination,
• 14:06
  Speaker 1: because at first, the brain doesn't want to go there.
• 14:08
  Speaker 1: It wants to remind you that you're suffering and that
• 14:11
  Speaker 1: your goal is impossible. It wants to stop you so
• 14:14
  Speaker 1: it can stop the pain. That night in San Diego
• 14:16
  Speaker 1: was the most difficult night of my life. Physically, I
• 14:21
  Speaker 1: never felt so broken, and there were no souls to take.
• 14:25
  Speaker 2: I wasn't competing.
• 14:26
  Speaker 1: For a trophy. There was no one standing in my way.
• 14:29
  Speaker 1: All I had to draw on to keep myself going
• 14:31
  Speaker 1: was me