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You’re Not Stuck… Your Mindset Is. · No Más Yes Girls

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_01: Hi, welcome back to another episode of No More Yes Girls, where we, your hosts, Vivian MVNA, talk about our healing journeys.
• 0:09
  SPEAKER_00: Hey everyone, welcome back.
• 0:11
  SPEAKER_01: A new episode.
• 0:14
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, so this episode, I mean, every episode is always so special, but it just keeps getting better and better.
• 0:27
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 0:28
  SPEAKER_00: I think we're just deep diving in into some topics, that's why.
• 0:32
  SPEAKER_01: For sure.
• 0:32
  SPEAKER_00: Reminding ourselves and keep healing ourselves.
• 0:35
  SPEAKER_01: So I do want to say there comes a point in your life where you realize it's not just your circumstances that need to change, it's the way you think.
• 0:48
  SPEAKER_01: So today's podcast episode is going to be all about changing your mindset.
• 0:55
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 0:56
  SPEAKER_01: And um, because the way we see ourselves, our life, our experience, honestly, it shapes everything.
• 1:06
  SPEAKER_01: It sounds simple, it sounds very simple, but it's actually life-changing, and how shifting the way you think can completely change how you feel, how you move, and what you allow into your life.
• 1:23
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah, and it and it, yeah, like you said, it it sounds simple, but honestly, you have to remind yourself every single day.
• 1:35
  SPEAKER_00: It's hard work.
• 1:36
  SPEAKER_00: No, it's it's it's hard work, yeah.
• 1:38
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, and you have to, like I said, you have to remind yourself and you have to sit back and you have to really like look within yourself and ask yourself, you know, is it or remind yourself that's not what I want, this is what I want.
• 1:54
  SPEAKER_00: And so, in order for that to happen, it needs to change.
• 1:59
  SPEAKER_01: So, I actually ended up Googling what what is a mindset because I want to clarify.
• 2:06
  SPEAKER_01: I want to clarify what mindset really is.
• 2:09
  SPEAKER_01: So, mindset is the way you think, the beliefs you hold, and the stories you tell yourself about your life.
• 2:17
  SPEAKER_01: So, think about that.
• 2:18
  SPEAKER_01: It's a reflection of of your life ultimately.
• 2:22
  SPEAKER_01: Yep, it's patterns of thinking you've repeated over time, and a lot of those patterns don't even start with us, they come from childhood, family, culture, experiences, yeah, and so and so forth.
• 2:38
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I heard this the other day, and I thought that's very interesting because I had never heard it put that way.
• 2:45
  SPEAKER_00: But ultimately, when we are young, literally like toddlers, you know, what the our parents will teach us while we're infants, you know, oh, you know how to smile, they'll try to, you know, make you laugh and um teach you how to count.
• 3:07
  SPEAKER_00: But once we hit that toddler age and you grow up with unhealed parents, you start or your body starts getting into that fight or fight mode without even thinking.
• 3:26
  SPEAKER_00: This is because you're so fairly new to this world and you don't understand it, that when we are so young and our parents, you know, they're trying to discipline us if they don't choose their words correctly, or um they don't know of course, we're all gonna make that mistake so we don't know how to be parents, but if we're unhealed, I think it makes it like 10 times worse because you feel triggered by that two, three-year-old, and so you begin to shape them, and they begin to have those traumas subconsciously.
• 4:13
  SPEAKER_00: So when we are now older and we become adults, that starts coming out, and a lot of the times we can say, Oh, but we I mean, how?
• 4:24
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, I had the best childhood ever.
• 4:27
  SPEAKER_00: My parents were great.
• 4:30
  SPEAKER_00: Then why would you have trauma?
• 4:32
  SPEAKER_00: Why would you need to change your mindset?
• 4:35
  SPEAKER_00: Of course, there's also beliefs, you know.
• 4:39
  SPEAKER_00: Um, many people uh grow up with certain beliefs or certain way of doing things because that's what they were taught.
• 4:49
  SPEAKER_00: So there comes a point where you start asking yourself, wait a minute, I don't I don't know if that's something I I like doing, or I don't know if that's right, or I don't know if I really want to believe in that, you know, and you start asking questions yourself.
• 5:05
  SPEAKER_00: Why?
• 5:05
  SPEAKER_00: Because we were brought up a certain way, and usually it was however your parents were taught that's how they brought you up.
• 5:17
  SPEAKER_00: You know, now we know that each and every one of us are individuals, and you know, we can think for ourselves, and we like different things, and we do different things, and we believe different things, and we need to respect one another and not judge.
• 5:36
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 5:37
  SPEAKER_01: Let me let me talk about a little bit more of how old mindsets keep us stuck because I feel like a lot of us can relate to this.
• 5:45
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, I I can relate to this, and Vivian, I'm sure she can relate to some of this that I'm about to say, but a lot of us are walking around with mindsets that say, I'm not good enough.
• 5:59
  SPEAKER_01: I have to struggle to succeed.
• 6:01
  SPEAKER_01: Oh my gosh, that hits me, all of these hit me hard.
• 6:05
  SPEAKER_01: I can't trust myself.
• 6:07
  SPEAKER_01: Like, how many people have you heard say that?
• 6:12
  SPEAKER_01: A lot of me included, I'm raising my hand, me included.
• 6:16
  SPEAKER_01: And when those beliefs are running in the background, we start making decisions that match them.
• 6:22
  SPEAKER_01: Hence working 12, 16 hours a day, hustling at that hustle mode, nonstop.
• 6:30
  SPEAKER_01: No, I have to prove myself because I have to prove myself, and you have to trust me because I'm proving myself to you.
• 6:40
  SPEAKER_01: Again, we settle, we overthink, we stay in situations longer than we should.
• 6:50
  SPEAKER_01: Again, I'm raising my hand because that's me, yeah, not because we want to, because it feels familiar.
• 7:00
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, and there's another there's another title to that.
• 7:05
  SPEAKER_00: It's the victim mindset, yeah, yeah.
• 7:10
  SPEAKER_00: Because people are not good enough, you're victimizing yourself, it keeps us stuck, yeah, yeah.
• 7:16
  SPEAKER_00: And that is your ego.
• 7:18
  SPEAKER_00: Your ego is the one that tells you, nope, you're you're not good enough.
• 7:22
  SPEAKER_00: There, there's no way you're gonna be able to do that, and you start believing it again.
• 7:26
  SPEAKER_00: Why?
• 7:27
  SPEAKER_00: Because that's what we were taught.
• 7:28
  SPEAKER_00: We were never taught to let go, you know, to to hey, don't worry about it, you know, everything will eventually there's gonna be a solution for it, yeah.
• 7:40
  SPEAKER_00: But we weren't taught that because again, it's generation after generation of the same thing, and this is where awareness comes in.
• 7:54
  SPEAKER_01: That's the I feel like that's like the first shift in that transition in life, being aware, the first step to changing your mindset is probably awareness, being aware, so um, and you can't change what you're not aware of.
• 8:15
  SPEAKER_01: Yep, so again, some thoughts that we can start noticing is what do you say to yourself when things go wrong?
• 8:29
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, how do you speak about life?
• 8:32
  SPEAKER_01: Because your thoughts create your emotional state, and it wasn't.
• 8:37
  SPEAKER_01: I just learned this not that long ago, and I'm still and I'm still learning about it too, because it's like, okay, how can I be more lovable to myself?
• 8:50
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, how can I let things go?
• 8:52
  SPEAKER_01: Like, what's one thing that I would want to genuinely change when it comes to breaking generational cycles?
• 9:03
  SPEAKER_01: What's one thing that I would see my mom does, that my grandmother does, that my great grandmother used to do?
• 9:08
  SPEAKER_01: What's one thing that I can change?
• 9:10
  SPEAKER_01: That I used to that I used to do.
• 9:15
  SPEAKER_01: So it's it's and and I'm not saying change everything.
• 9:18
  SPEAKER_01: No, you can still keep some of those values, some of those traditions, morals, whatever it is that you want to keep that's your decision, and if it if it aligns with you now, if it doesn't, you have the power to choose, to choose different.
• 9:35
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah, and also how many self-doubt comes in a lot.
• 9:42
  SPEAKER_00: How many, but how many times have you proven to yourself that you're capable of doing something, and you you do it and you're excited, and then a little a few months pass or a few years, and then you got to do something new, and you start second-guessing yourself again, and you're like, I don't know, uh you know, so it does take time, yeah.
• 10:10
  SPEAKER_00: You know, it does take time, and again, just like in the other episode, recent episodes, forgiveness, forgive yourself for not knowing better, and because you want to change, yeah, you know, the way you think or the belief system you have, you know, and forgive yourself for not knowing, it's not your fault.
• 10:33
  SPEAKER_00: Don't hold it against yourself, don't victimize yourself, you know, and trust, trust that everything is gonna work out for you.
• 10:44
  SPEAKER_00: So we gotta hush that ego and start changing the way we think.
• 10:51
  SPEAKER_00: And instead of doubting ourselves, let's do the opposite.
• 10:56
  SPEAKER_00: You know, let's even start encouraging one another instead of asking, Am I doing this right?
• 11:02
  SPEAKER_00: Or do you think it's okay?
• 11:03
  SPEAKER_00: You know, how about let's just encourage each other?
• 11:06
  SPEAKER_00: We can give each other, you know, our points of view.
• 11:09
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, one thing that I um what I'm more compassionate about now is instead of viewing my failures, or instead of saying, I'm failing, this is not working for me, or this is not helping, or whatever, or if it's not going the way that I anticipated it was going, I just instead of looking at it negatively, I look at it more in a positive way.
• 11:34
  SPEAKER_01: Like, you know what, I'm learning.
• 11:38
  SPEAKER_01: I'm learning because I am gonna fail, most likely, I'm gonna fail the first attempt.
• 11:45
  SPEAKER_01: But if I don't learn from that first attempt, how am I gonna succeed?
• 11:50
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 11:51
  SPEAKER_01: So instead of looking at my failures, or instead of saying, Oh gosh, I'm failing again, or I'm failing, just switching that mindset or that awareness to I'm learning.
• 12:03
  SPEAKER_01: Why is this happening to me?
• 12:06
  SPEAKER_01: Why is it going this way?
• 12:08
  SPEAKER_01: Is there something?
• 12:09
  SPEAKER_01: What do I need to look at?
• 12:10
  SPEAKER_01: What do I need to fix?
• 12:12
  SPEAKER_01: Is there another part to this?
• 12:14
  SPEAKER_01: Am I not understanding something?
• 12:16
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, do I need to ask for help?
• 12:18
  SPEAKER_01: Do I need to look for a specific answer?
• 12:21
  SPEAKER_01: Who can I reach out to?
• 12:23
  SPEAKER_01: Who can I can I find a resource on this?
• 12:26
  SPEAKER_01: Literally changing that mindset.
• 12:30
  SPEAKER_01: The answers right there.
• 12:32
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, yes, yes, yes.
• 12:34
  SPEAKER_00: And this reminds me, sister, of the conversation we had previous to this, you know, to recording this, because I had a few questions regarding marketing.
• 12:44
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, yeah, you know, and we were just talking about this again.
• 12:48
  SPEAKER_00: You gave me some pointers that I was like, oh, I didn't even think about that.
• 12:52
  SPEAKER_00: Again, it's not my forte.
• 12:55
  SPEAKER_00: That's not something I know about, but I know that I want to learn and I know that I'm I'm gonna get there and I'm taking steps to to um to learn and not be harsh on myself.
• 13:08
  SPEAKER_00: And you gave me some pointers that I didn't even I have no clue whatsoever.
• 13:14
  SPEAKER_00: But hey, you know, I I had that, I told myself, you know what, I need help, I need to ask because I don't know.
• 13:22
  SPEAKER_00: You know, instead of, yeah, I could have done the research through old me, would have done the whole research, wouldn't have not said anything.
• 13:29
  SPEAKER_00: But you know, now it's not.
• 13:31
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, I know I need help, and hey, you know, I need help, and it's okay.
• 13:36
  SPEAKER_00: She just like my sister said, the answer most of the time is already right there.
• 13:41
  SPEAKER_00: And yeah, she's like, hey, this, this, and that.
• 13:44
  SPEAKER_00: And so, um, so yeah, that's that's a uh that's a mindset I think that um, or the the difference between an old mindset that we had to something that you know we have now and that we continue working on.
• 14:36
  SPEAKER_01: It's shifting from self-judgment to self-support.
• 14:42
  SPEAKER_00: Exactly.
• 14:44
  SPEAKER_00: Exactly.
• 14:44
  SPEAKER_00: And remember, what you put out there is what you received.
• 14:47
  SPEAKER_00: I'm self-supporting myself, my sister, I asked for help, my sister supported me as well, and vice versa.
• 14:55
  SPEAKER_01: But we can easily fall back into nothing is working.
• 14:59
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, we can easily fall back to I'm failing, nothing is working.
• 15:05
  SPEAKER_01: I'm just gonna quit.
• 15:07
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 15:09
  SPEAKER_01: Whereas if we can shift it to this is part of my process, I'm still learning, it changes, it changes your perspective, it changes the way you see life.
• 15:24
  SPEAKER_01: More opportunities will come knocking to you, or more open doors will start, or more opportunities will start opening your way.
• 15:33
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 15:34
  SPEAKER_01: Because now being open to receiving, again, we're going back to receiving, receiving um what you're trusting.
• 15:45
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, exactly.
• 15:47
  SPEAKER_00: And and I just wanted to give you like a quick example that um talking about this reminded me.
• 15:53
  SPEAKER_00: My daughter pointed out the other day um that I when I have trouble with something, or when I'm doing something new and I'm not understanding, or I don't get it, um, or I start struggling, I will usually leave it there, get up, walk away, take some fresh air, you know, do something else, and then I'll come back to it because by then now I have, you know, my mind is already fresh.
• 16:23
  SPEAKER_00: I'm, you know, thinking differently.
• 16:26
  SPEAKER_00: And I don't put myself down.
• 16:28
  SPEAKER_00: You know, I'll just leave it there and I'll go back, I'll go back to it when, you know, I'm not gonna stress out about it.
• 16:34
  SPEAKER_00: You know, I'm just gonna leave it there.
• 16:35
  SPEAKER_00: And my daughter pointed that out because she was doing a project of her own.
• 16:42
  SPEAKER_00: And I knew that's what she was doing.
• 16:44
  SPEAKER_00: And I I saw her next to me and I said, Well, what are you doing?
• 16:46
  SPEAKER_00: And she's like, Oh, I do the same thing you do.
• 16:49
  SPEAKER_00: And I said, What?
• 16:50
  SPEAKER_00: And she says, Well, when I feel stressed, I'll just walk away from it so I can clear my mind and then I'll I'll come back with a clear mind.
• 16:58
  SPEAKER_00: And I looked at her and I thought to myself, I do do that, but see, that already comes naturally because it's something that I changed instead of victimizing myself.
• 17:08
  SPEAKER_00: It's like I know I can do it, but I just need to clear my mind.
• 17:11
  SPEAKER_00: So let me just walk away for a bit and then I'll come back to it.
• 17:17
  SPEAKER_00: So, yeah, that that's it, that's what it reminded me of right now that we're talking about.
• 17:20
  SPEAKER_00: So, yeah, there's there's ways of you know not putting yourself down or giving up.
• 17:27
  SPEAKER_00: You know, it's it's as easy as just getting up, walking away, clear your mind, come back to it when your mind is clear.
• 17:35
  SPEAKER_00: And most of the time you'll be able to get things done.
• 17:38
  SPEAKER_01: Action, it comes with action, yeah.
• 17:42
  SPEAKER_01: Mindset alone isn't enough.
• 17:44
  SPEAKER_01: Again, Vivian just described a perfect action for it.
• 17:49
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, um, you also have to take aligned action, even if it's small, like getting up and taking a walk and just decompressing, like that's already is an a great action in itself.
• 18:02
  SPEAKER_01: I also want to say because confidence doesn't come before action, it comes after.
• 18:10
  SPEAKER_01: It comes after, like just how Vivian got up, decompressed, she came back.
• 18:17
  SPEAKER_01: It came her her decision or her um whatever it is she was looking for came right there after, instead of struggling, instead of um stressing herself out, yeah.
• 18:33
  SPEAKER_01: But I also want to say be patient with yourself, have grace, have grace because changing your mind is not overnight.
• 18:41
  SPEAKER_01: This is not an overnight thing, just how it took that long to being raised and to thinking that specific way for months, years, decades.
• 18:55
  SPEAKER_01: You're unlearning years of conditioning, so give yourself grace.
• 19:00
  SPEAKER_01: You're not behind, you're becoming.
• 19:08
  SPEAKER_00: What came came to me uh to give this analogy of a pregnant woman just like you're pregnant for eight and a half to nine months, and your body is changing for that child after labor.
• 19:26
  SPEAKER_00: You have to give yourself that time for your body to jump back, and to heal, it's the same thing, and to heal, it's the same thing.
• 19:38
  SPEAKER_00: So you have to be patient, you have to give yourself love, you have to give yourself grace and um know that it's gonna happen eventually, but just love yourself through it, and that's where we jump into um that shifting your mindset shapes your reality.
• 20:03
  SPEAKER_01: So when you start changing your mindset, you start changing what you believe you deserve.
• 20:10
  SPEAKER_01: And that changes what you allow into your life.
• 20:14
  SPEAKER_01: It can be your relationships, opportunities, your peace, your happiness, whatever it is that is aligned with you or makes you feel whole.
• 20:25
  SPEAKER_01: Your life doesn't change when everything around you changes.
• 20:33
  SPEAKER_01: Or your I'm sorry, your life doesn't change when everything around you changes.
• 20:41
  SPEAKER_01: It changes when you do, and when you start thinking differently, and you start living differently, and you start seeing yourself differently, and people are actually gonna start telling you you look different, you are different, you're not who you're not the person I knew a year ago, two years ago, three years ago, 10.
• 21:07
  SPEAKER_01: What is so different about you?
• 21:09
  SPEAKER_01: I've been getting that a lot.
• 21:10
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, you look different, yeah.
• 21:12
  SPEAKER_01: You're glowing, you're glowing, and you look, oh my gosh, you're so beautiful, and oh, you're so gorgeous, and but old me would have been like, Oh no, no, I'm not.
• 21:24
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, you think so?
• 21:26
  SPEAKER_01: Really?
• 21:27
  SPEAKER_01: Like, oh my gosh, why are you telling me this?
• 21:30
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, or like, yeah, or like um again, I never knew how to take a compliment.
• 21:38
  SPEAKER_01: I always felt ashamed, I always felt ashamed and not worthy of receiving those type of compliments, and now me, me currently is like, oh my gosh, thank you.
• 21:50
  SPEAKER_01: I do, I do feel I do feel very good about myself, I feel great, and I I compliment them too because I genuinely believe the same thing, yeah, and and because when you love yourself, that is what you eradicate is love, that's what people see, yeah.
• 22:10
  SPEAKER_00: So you get love back, yep.
• 22:13
  SPEAKER_00: Again, you are the creator of your own life.
• 22:19
  SPEAKER_00: So are you gonna create love and positivity, or are you gonna create chaos and drama?
• 22:27
  SPEAKER_00: It all depends on you.
• 22:28
  SPEAKER_00: So if you're living around chaos and drama, think to yourself okay, why?
• 22:34
  SPEAKER_00: Why am I attracting all this?
• 22:36
  SPEAKER_00: Putting myself in this position is that what I think about myself?
• 22:42
  SPEAKER_00: And that's where you start noticing, okay, yeah, maybe I need to shift my mindset.
• 22:48
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe this is not what I want.
• 22:50
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, because I know I know for a fact that was me.
• 22:54
  SPEAKER_00: I used to be around drama and chaos, and that's because that's what I had in my life.
• 23:02
  SPEAKER_00: Was just drama and chaos.
• 23:04
  SPEAKER_00: So that's what I was attracting.
• 23:06
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, same.
• 23:08
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 23:09
  SPEAKER_00: So, you know, just think about that and you know, just analyze yourself, analyze your life and see, you know, wait, am I really where I need to be?
• 23:19
  SPEAKER_00: Am I really doing this for me, or am I trying to people please?
• 23:26
  SPEAKER_02: Yep.
• 23:28
  SPEAKER_00: Am I really at peace?
• 23:30
  SPEAKER_00: Do I really love myself?
• 23:33
  SPEAKER_00: Or I'm just saying, you know, I really don't even like myself, but people say I'm nice, or people love me, because we can confuse them.
• 23:45
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, yeah.
• 23:46
  SPEAKER_00: We we can see what we what we want to see.
• 23:49
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah.
• 23:51
  SPEAKER_00: Talk about that a little bit more.
• 23:53
  SPEAKER_00: About how we can confuse, yeah, because we victimize ourselves so bad that we can even create a life that's not ours.
• 24:09
  SPEAKER_00: That's what we're gonna be seeing outside of, you know, oh, I feel worthless.
• 24:16
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, you know, I I don't love myself, but yeah, I have a partner who loves me, so I'm loved.
• 24:26
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, and that's not how it works, you know.
• 24:31
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, it's so it's so true when they say it's so true when they say you gotta love yourself first to be able to love somebody else and feel the love, you know.
• 24:45
  SPEAKER_00: So exactly.
• 24:46
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, I bet you most of us we think, oh, you know, um, I have such a great relationship, everything, if talking in the relationship-wise, um, everything is is going for us, but I bet you that there's some things that really tug at your heart, and you're like, I don't understand if everything's going so well.
• 25:08
  SPEAKER_00: Why this?
• 25:09
  SPEAKER_00: Why that?
• 25:11
  SPEAKER_00: And most of the time, it has nothing to do with your relationship or things going so well, it has to do with you.
• 25:21
  SPEAKER_00: Yep, how you're feeling inside, and just the things from the outside of you are triggering it, so that's where we can confuse it and say, oh no, but I mean I I'm worthless, but yet somebody loves me, or I don't feel worthy of someone loving me so much.
• 25:42
  SPEAKER_00: Well, because you don't feel worthy of yourself, you know how that's how you feel about yourself.
• 25:49
  SPEAKER_01: You feel worthless, and that doesn't only go with relationships, it goes with money, finances, it goes with um happiness, it goes with peace, not just in relationships, it goes to all of the areas in your life, yeah, yeah, and it'll come out, and that's where the triggers come in.
• 26:11
  SPEAKER_00: And we want to blame people on the outside or circumstances of the outside of us when in reality it comes from within.
• 26:25
  SPEAKER_00: And so when we start working within ourselves and we get to that point of changing our mindset, you're not gonna see when somebody does something, trust me, you're gonna know it has nothing to do with you.
• 26:39
  SPEAKER_00: You're gonna be like, uh they they really need to work on themselves because we it's just a reflection of who we who we are or how we are from the inside.
• 26:53
  SPEAKER_00: Don't get confused, don't get confused, yeah.
• 26:58
  SPEAKER_01: It's and again, it just goes for all aspects of your life, not just a specific area, I feel.
• 27:07
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, it's all it's all aspects because you are gonna find certain situations with with, you know, even at work, you know, that there's gonna be certain certain situations that come up.
• 27:18
  SPEAKER_00: It's up to you.
• 27:20
  SPEAKER_00: You will know by your own reaction.
• 27:24
  SPEAKER_00: Because most of the time there are things that you're you shouldn't even think about.
• 27:27
  SPEAKER_00: It's like the most minimal thing problem ever.
• 27:32
  SPEAKER_00: But yet your the way you're reacting to it, it might make it seem like it's such a big deal when in reality it's a it was a trigger for you, and the more you talk about it too.
• 27:46
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, about the same situation over and over again, clearly, right?
• 27:49
  SPEAKER_01: Even though you say, Oh, it's it doesn't bother me, it's no problem, but you're but you keep continuously talk about it, yeah.
• 27:57
  SPEAKER_00: You keep mentioning it over and over again, correct.
• 28:00
  SPEAKER_00: And and see when you when you learn to identify all those triggers, and when you start healing and you start forgiving, and you start letting go and you start trusting, and um you become more aware where your mindset starts changing, then you start seeing every situation with love.
• 28:25
  SPEAKER_00: It's not a trigger anymore.
• 28:27
  SPEAKER_00: Then you start finding, you know, um you start solving problems out of love, and so that's what you are showing, and that's what that's who you start becoming, yeah.
• 28:46
  SPEAKER_00: And that's where people start saying, Oh my god, you look so different.
• 28:50
  SPEAKER_00: Oh my god, you're glowing, oh my god, you know, it's something about you.
• 28:54
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, what is it that you're doing?
• 28:56
  SPEAKER_00: What are you eating?
• 28:57
  SPEAKER_00: Are you exercising?
• 28:58
  SPEAKER_00: When all it is is you're loving yourself, and you're having grace, getting grace to yourself.
• 29:07
  SPEAKER_01: I want to go back with um how you were talking about being in a relationship, saying, Oh, well, like this person loves me, so this this is enough, or it suffices.
• 29:20
  SPEAKER_01: So think about that certain situation, substitute it with money.
• 29:26
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, this amount should be enough.
• 29:29
  SPEAKER_01: I'm okay.
• 29:30
  SPEAKER_00: Exactly.
• 29:31
  SPEAKER_01: Substitute it with peace.
• 29:34
  SPEAKER_01: This amount of peace, that should be okay.
• 29:38
  SPEAKER_01: It's not bothering me, it's okay.
• 29:40
  SPEAKER_01: Substitute it with happiness.
• 29:43
  SPEAKER_01: Just that's enough.
• 29:45
  SPEAKER_01: I'll be okay with this amount of happiness.
• 29:48
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, now substitute it with love.
• 29:53
  SPEAKER_01: They barely even, I barely even love, they barely even love me, but it's enough to keep me going.
• 30:00
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, again, that's what I meant.
• 30:03
  SPEAKER_01: It goes by different aspects in life.
• 30:07
  unknown: Yeah.
• 30:08
  SPEAKER_01: The moment we change or we become more aware of that is by deserving and saying, okay, what can happen if I want more than that type of love?
• 30:21
  SPEAKER_01: If I want more love, more money, more um beautiful memories in a relationship, more happiness, more peace, more at peace, more of my partner.
• 30:33
  SPEAKER_01: So then I reflect it back to me.
• 30:37
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, I am I I'm sorry I put you, and this is literally me talking to myself consistently.
• 30:43
  SPEAKER_01: Like, I'm sorry I put you through tough situations, I'm sorry I hurt you, I'm sorry I I made you broke.
• 30:51
  SPEAKER_01: I'm sorry I made you unhappy.
• 30:54
  SPEAKER_01: I'm sorry I put you in um unloving unloving unloving situations or unloving relationships.
• 31:04
  SPEAKER_01: I'm sorry I didn't give you any happiness.
• 31:07
  SPEAKER_01: I'm sorry I didn't give you any peace, any grace.
• 31:11
  SPEAKER_01: So apologizing myself for everything that I've done for myself, because I I admit it, these are all choices that I made for myself that I thought that's what I wanted.
• 31:23
  SPEAKER_01: But in reality, or in my world, I didn't.
• 31:27
  SPEAKER_01: I was just making peace with whatever with whatever scraps I was able to get.
• 31:33
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 31:34
  SPEAKER_01: Again, because we weren't taught, we weren't taught about shifting your mindset.
• 31:40
  SPEAKER_00: And and you know what, there is a harsh reality to that, and I'm gonna be completely honest.
• 31:46
  SPEAKER_00: You will lose people, yeah, you will lose relationships, you will lose well.
• 31:53
  SPEAKER_00: There's gonna be times where you're gonna even lose your marriage, and that is because when you start loving, truly loving yourself, and making that, yeah, making that um changing that mindset, you start realizing this really wasn't what I wanted.
• 32:16
  SPEAKER_00: You know, you start you you were there just because it felt good, because what are people gonna say?
• 32:26
  SPEAKER_00: Um you thought that was love, or you were receiving the same amount of love that you were giving, you start realizing that it was not reality.
• 32:40
  SPEAKER_00: You're preaching to the 20-year-old me.
• 32:44
  SPEAKER_00: And so uh it's the harsh, no, but whether you're 20, 30, 40, 50, it happens.
• 32:52
  SPEAKER_00: You start realizing when you start realizing if you if your partner, your husband, your wife is not willing, or doesn't, or sees the change in you, but they're not willing to change and giving you a hard time and not seeing that you are beginning to love yourself and they're not supporting you, that's not where you need to be.
• 33:14
  SPEAKER_00: And you'll realize it, you'll feel it, you'll know.
• 33:17
  SPEAKER_00: Now, this is the tricky part.
• 33:20
  SPEAKER_00: Will you make the change or will you continue to victimize yourself?
• 33:25
  SPEAKER_00: Because sometimes it could be a 20, 30, 35-year marriage, or relationship or partnership, or you know, um it's just people people and not even just in the in love relationships or you know, marriages, but it could also be with your family members, yeah.
• 33:51
  SPEAKER_01: Because again, with your family, with relationships of all areas, with money, with happiness, with peace, with um what else is there?
• 34:03
  SPEAKER_01: Trust with faith.
• 34:06
  SPEAKER_01: Again, it just goes, it's literally, it just dawned on me that it's literally in all areas in all aspects of our life.
• 34:16
  SPEAKER_01: Shift, yeah.
• 34:19
  SPEAKER_00: No, it is because yeah, see, once you when you start loving yourself, you start attracting everything, everything you want, because you know who you are, and that includes, like you say, money, love, um, job opportunities, you know, um just any anything, peace, um, faithfulness, you know, because then you're be because you're being faithful to yourself, so you will attract people who are faithful to you.
• 34:54
  SPEAKER_00: So it is all all around, and it starts with you again.
• 34:59
  SPEAKER_01: It's leaving that familiar, that familiarity, that comfort zone.
• 35:06
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, the only thing I've ever known.
• 35:10
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, and and it's and it's hard.
• 35:12
  SPEAKER_00: It's hard to go against what we grew up with, what we believed, what people think of us.
• 35:21
  SPEAKER_00: It's hard.
• 35:22
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes it's gonna be quitting that job, yeah, you know, taking that leap of faith.
• 35:29
  SPEAKER_01: I've lost a marriage, I've quit my job.
• 35:36
  SPEAKER_01: I've used to be addicted to drinking.
• 35:40
  SPEAKER_01: I've did like it's I'm no different than a lot of us out there.
• 35:47
  SPEAKER_01: I was raised with mom issues, dad issues, um, different types of childhood trauma.
• 35:56
  SPEAKER_01: I was raised very independent, strong-headed, not asking questions, not asking for help, not asking for um money, resources.
• 36:08
  SPEAKER_01: I had to figure it out all on my own.
• 36:11
  SPEAKER_01: I had to struggle for a lot of things, worked myself till I started having health problems.
• 36:18
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I did it all.
• 36:21
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, my sister did it all too.
• 36:23
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, and it wasn't until we started sitting down and saying, wait a minute, why are we like this?
• 36:31
  SPEAKER_01: Why are we living like this?
• 36:34
  SPEAKER_01: Why are how can I become better for myself?
• 36:39
  SPEAKER_01: And again, it's all a journey, it's all a journey, and it's and it doesn't happen from one day to the next.
• 36:45
  SPEAKER_01: It this I'm talking about years, yes, yes, and I think I repeat this every time on every single episode.
• 36:54
  SPEAKER_01: This takes years, yeah, yeah, and it just gets better, yeah.
• 36:59
  SPEAKER_01: But each year, it just gets better and better.
• 37:03
  SPEAKER_00: And then you start realizing a lot, and you start, you begin to live.
• 37:11
  SPEAKER_00: You begin to live, not that stress, you know.
• 37:14
  SPEAKER_00: I have to get up in the morning, routine, and do this and do that, and come back, and then I'm gonna go back to sleep at this time, and then I have to wake up and do it again in the morning.
• 37:22
  SPEAKER_00: No, you begin to live, you begin to live in love, in peace, in um abundance.
• 37:32
  SPEAKER_00: Your finance finances grow.
• 37:35
  SPEAKER_01: Yep, your love grows, your blessings you start receiving blessings left and right, just random opportunities just come, just come to you so randomly.
• 37:48
  SPEAKER_01: Like I literally was just telling Vivian, different opportunities have been coming up and popping my way so random, like I never even would have expected to do the things I would be doing right now.
• 38:01
  SPEAKER_00: Yep, yeah.
• 38:03
  SPEAKER_00: Want to remind you, it is not easy, it's not easy.
• 38:09
  SPEAKER_00: It you're gonna have to face the reality, the real reality of your life, if you want to make that change.
• 38:21
  SPEAKER_00: It's not easy, but I can promise you it's amazing.
• 38:29
  SPEAKER_00: Of course, we are gonna have problems that come along the way, of course, you know things are gonna come up, but the way you deal with them has nothing to do like you used to deal with them in your old mindset at all.
• 38:44
  SPEAKER_01: Again, I'm gonna repeat this when you start thinking differently, you start living differently, and you're gonna start seeing it around you in all areas as well.
• 38:59
  SPEAKER_00: Yep, yep, you're gonna be more confident, um, you're gonna start making decisions without even second guessing, without thinking what are they gonna say, what are they gonna do, what are they because it's gonna be for you.
• 39:14
  SPEAKER_01: But we can talk about this for a very long time.
• 39:17
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, we can, and we can we can dig deeper and deeper, yes, and we'll continue to dig deeper and deeper.
• 39:27
  SPEAKER_01: But as always, I want to thank, we want to thank each and every one of you for tuning in, listening, subscribing, following, sharing our podcast, our social media, all platforms of our social media.
• 39:44
  SPEAKER_01: We appreciate it with so much love and gratitude.
• 39:48
  SPEAKER_01: Again, we've just been growing and shifting into um into better individuals, I feel.
• 39:56
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm just again, so many opportunities are coming left and right, and so much clarity has been coming our way these last couple of months, and more so this upcoming year.
• 40:09
  SPEAKER_01: So I know this year is gonna be all about clarity and um what we Vivinier's smiling.
• 40:18
  SPEAKER_01: I know you want to say something when she smiles like that.
• 40:21
  SPEAKER_01: I know she wants to say something.
• 40:24
  SPEAKER_00: No, what I what I want to say is okay, I'm gonna tell you guys.
• 40:29
  SPEAKER_00: I'll tell you what our um not this coming episode is a Spanish one for this one, but the following one is clarity.
• 40:38
  SPEAKER_00: That's what we will be talking about.
• 40:40
  SPEAKER_00: So I think it's so funny that you're like mentioning it because you didn't even know that that's so yes, that will be our next our next episode.
• 40:50
  SPEAKER_00: We will talk about clarity.
• 40:52
  SPEAKER_00: Um, so stay tuned for that one.
• 40:54
  SPEAKER_00: Um, it's super exciting.
• 40:56
  SPEAKER_00: Uh and so give you literally clarity of of what what healing really is and and um and just all aspects of of your life.
• 41:10
  SPEAKER_00: So yes, but um better, yeah, yeah.
• 41:15
  SPEAKER_00: Other than that, um I also wanted to let you guys know, check out um our social medias, our Instagram, um, our TikTok, no more yes girls, um check out our link tree, right?
• 41:30
  SPEAKER_00: We have the link tree there.
• 41:32
  SPEAKER_00: Um yeah, check them out in our bio, check them out.
• 41:36
  SPEAKER_00: Um, we will be uh putting in some free uh guides in there.
• 41:41
  SPEAKER_00: Uh so if you guys want to, you know, click in their English-spanish versions uh to help you guys out with with your healing, assess yourself.
• 41:51
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and if you guys have any questions, feel free to reach out uh to our all our platforms, comments, email, um whatever, wherever it is more convenient for you to reach out.
• 42:06
  SPEAKER_00: We are available to you guys.
• 42:08
  SPEAKER_01: Yes.
• 42:09
  SPEAKER_01: Um so once again, thank you all for tuning in, and we will see you on our next episode.
• 42:17
  SPEAKER_01: Sending you guys so much light and love your way.
• 42:20
  SPEAKER_02: Bye.
• 42:21
  SPEAKER_01: Bye.