Latest / Rachel Oates / Not All Men But 62 Million Of Them?
Transcript
- 0:00Not all men but 62,000,000. Not all men, only 62,000,000 Men
- 0:05who visited Online Rape Academy to learn how to abuse women from
- 0:08other men. Online Rape Academy exposes men
- 0:11seeking to learn abuse tactics Recently the Internet has been
- 0:19full of stories of the 62,000,000 men or 62,000,000 men
- 0:23who apparently signed up to a rape Academy to learn how to
- 0:26drug and rape women, and people are understandably shocked.
- 0:30They are really shocking headlines however, and not to
- 0:33want to defend awful men, but that isn't actually what's been
- 0:36happening. These headlines are a little bit
- 0:38sensational and the real horrific facts are being
- 0:42overshadowed by these click baity headlines.
- 0:45Today I want to correct that. I want to correct the
- 0:47misinformation, tell you what's really been happening and what
- 0:49you should be worried about and what you shouldn't be worried
- 0:51about everyone. So today's video is quite heavy
- 0:54and I am going to be discussing an online community which was
- 0:57encouraging rape and sexual assault of women.
- 1:00This is going to be a very difficult topic so I encourage
- 1:04you to use your best judgement before going forward with this
- 1:06video and if you need to skip it, please do.
- 1:09No, I will not mind at all. Your well-being comes first and
- 1:14that's all that matters. The story was first written by
- 1:16CNN, who shared messages from men like this.
- 1:18And I should record a clip once when I had my last two blank
- 1:21pills. My wife doesn't even know that I
- 1:23recorded it. They said we can show you the
- 1:25messages he sent us. What he says he's doing to his
- 1:27wife is a crime. Posing as a user, we found him
- 1:30in a private group, 1 of many on the messaging app Telegram.
- 1:33At any hour, men from around the world gathered on the Triple Z
- 1:36group to swap advice on drugging and then filming the sexual
- 1:39assault of their partners while unconscious.
- 1:42Other examples of messages included.
- 1:44How much are you willing to pay to watch me F my wife while she
- 1:47sleeps? The CNN story said the abuse
- 1:49shared via video and pictures in this group of nearly 1000 users
- 1:53was treated as a commodity. The article went on to read.
- 1:56The world was confronted by this form of Internet enabled abuse
- 1:59in 2024 during the mass rape and drugging trial of Dominique
- 2:03Pellicott and 50 other men and southern France.
- 2:06It was on the so-called dating website, in a chat room called
- 2:08without her knowledge, that Pellicott was able to connect
- 2:11with dozens of other men to instigate the rapes of his then
- 2:14wife Giselle. While drugged unconscious by
- 2:16him, she was raped over 200 times by 70 men, not all of whom
- 2:20could be tracked down by police. The Palicop case briefly shone
- 2:23spotlight on this dark corner of the Internet.
- 2:25But while Coco, the website involved, was shut down and
- 2:27public attention moved elsewhere, this behaviour did
- 2:30not disappear with the insinuation, of course.
- 2:32It simply moved to another website or several other
- 2:35websites. The men still committing these
- 2:37crimes are out there, they're just in a different place now.
- 2:40This end story uncovered one of those particular places the
- 2:44article went on to read. 1 porn site motherless.com is home to
- 2:47more than 20,000 videos of so-called sleep content uploaded
- 2:50by users with hundreds of thousands of views.
- 2:53The website, which had around 62 million visits in February alone
- 2:56and whose core audiences in the United States, describes itself
- 3:00as a moral free file host where anything legal is hosted
- 3:03forever. However, the article goes on to
- 3:05point out the legality of some material posted is in serious
- 3:08doubt. So-called sleep content is
- 3:11categorised using descriptor tags such as hashtag, passed out
- 3:14and #icheck. And so this is where the first
- 3:17bit of kind of misinformation stemmed from and why it was kind
- 3:20of like exaggerated over time and sort of grew out of control.
- 3:22Many sites are now reporting this as 62,000,000 men joined a
- 3:26rape Academy. But that's not what happened.
- 3:28The 62,000,000 site visits is for the entire website, and
- 3:32that's 62,000,000 site visits, not 62 million users.
- 3:36And so it could be a number of users visiting a number of
- 3:39times. It's also like I say the entire
- 3:41site, not just this particular problematic section of it.
- 3:44So saying that this had 62,000,000 men who were in that
- 3:48group is like saying that, you know, YouTube gets X million or
- 3:51billion views a day. I post feminist content on
- 3:54YouTube. Therefore everyone who visits
- 3:55YouTube, they're billions of feminists out there.
- 3:58That's not how it works. This particular section of the
- 4:01website was one small part of a larger website.
- 4:04Just like for example, my channel is just one small part
- 4:06of YouTube. I get you know X 100,000 views a
- 4:09month, but YouTube gets billions of views a month.
- 4:12This website Motherless got 63 million views a month, but this
- 4:16particular area only got in the 10s or hundreds of thousands.
- 4:19I say only that's still too many and we'll discuss more about
- 4:22that in detail. But this is where the
- 4:23misinformation stems from. Obviously even if it is 10s or
- 4:27hundreds of thousands of views in that particular area, like I
- 4:29say that is still too many. That is still disturbing.
- 4:32But it's important that we report on the actual facts and
- 4:35not blow this out of proportion be like 62,000,000 men when it's
- 4:38not. Because misinformation only
- 4:40stunt the conversation and stops the important things from
- 4:43actually being discussed. We shouldn't be making up
- 4:46information of saying 62,000,000 men are into this when they're
- 4:48not. What we should be looking at is
- 4:50how many views did these individual videos get?
- 4:53How many views did this section of the site get and how many
- 4:56individual users were there? For example, in the Telegram
- 4:59group, which was kind of linked to the site, there were 1000
- 5:02members in that group. That's obviously a lot less than
- 5:0562,000,000, but it's still 1000 too many, you know?
- 5:08But it's important that we're really, really accurate in how
- 5:10we discuss this. CNN article went on to say in
- 5:12these videos, men film themselves lifting the closed
- 5:15eyelids of women to show that they are sleeping or sedated,
- 5:18with some eye check videos surpassing 50,000 views inside
- 5:22the Middle of sleep community, first reported by German
- 5:25Investigative list Isabel Beer and Isabel Stroh.
- 5:28I really hope I'm pronouncing her name right.
- 5:30Sorry. Members trade advice on how to
- 5:31drug their partners on the Triple Z chat group, which a
- 5:34Motherless user had linked to and where we first met.
- 5:38Oh, how do I pronounce that? I think it's another German
- 5:40name, Peter, I guess. Please tell me if I'm
- 5:44pronouncing that wrong. I'm useless when it comes to
- 5:46like German names and any kind of Eastern European name in
- 5:49general. I just, I'm useless.
- 5:50I'm so sorry. Yeah.
- 5:51So on the triple CE chat group, they do the same.
- 5:54CNN is not providing the names and doses of the specific
- 5:57medicines the users said they employ, which I think is a
- 6:00really good choice. So this is where we get some
- 6:02more specific numbers and some real numbers.
- 6:03But these aren't the ones being reported on for some reason,
- 6:05even having one of these videos with 50,000 views and for the
- 6:09mass response of those 50,000 use to not be calling out, to
- 6:13not be discussed, to not be reporting these videos is
- 6:16terrifying. That means there have been
- 6:18probably likely 10s of thousands of people watching this video
- 6:23and not seeing anything wrong with it.
- 6:24That is a massive, massive problem.
- 6:26And that's just one video. It doesn't account for the fact
- 6:28there were probably hundreds of this kind of video on the site,
- 6:30each with 10s of thousands of views, some with hundreds of
- 6:33thousands of views. It's that's what's not OK.
- 6:36The article also provided some of the messages that were shared
- 6:39in the Telegram group. User one said the to do this to
- 6:42my missus for ages. I can get blank name of a drug
- 6:45but honestly crap scared of overdose.
- 6:48User 2 says always start low you're thinking long game so if
- 6:52first time ain't enough up the dose.
- 6:54User three said put X amount of millilitres in a milkshake.
- 6:58She felt nauseous so gave her a tablet of Imodium was actually
- 7:02blank did F her as well but she was not out enough and had no
- 7:06more drug on me. It's just, it's repulsive, isn't
- 7:09it? I, I can't imagine my partner
- 7:13talking about me this way. It's terrifying to think that
- 7:16honestly any man you could meet could be doing this.
- 7:19It's scary. The article went on to say 1
- 7:23modeless user claimed to be running a business selling and
- 7:26dispatching sleeping liquids to any address in the world.
- 7:29The man who said he was based in Oh, how'd you say that?
- 7:34Cuter? I guess a tiny Spanish enclave
- 7:36on the North African coast said on his Telegram account that it
- 7:39would cost €150, approximately $75.00 for a bottle of liquid
- 7:43that he said was tasteless and odourless.
- 7:46Your wife won't feel anything and won't remember anything he
- 7:48said. And they actually show pictures
- 7:50of him, like packaging up this stuff and sending it out.
- 7:53Yeah, absolutely insane. So now, again, how this man was
- 7:56on the North Coast of Africa and that the original story was
- 7:59outed and exposed by German journalists because they found a
- 8:02hell of a lot of activity on that site in Germany.
- 8:04Many news outlets out there are reporting this as a purely
- 8:07American problem, saying, you know, because a lot of users are
- 8:09from America. This is an American problem.
- 8:11It's an American man thing, but it's not.
- 8:13This is very much a global problem affecting women all over
- 8:16the world. This is not just affecting
- 8:18American women. This is affecting women in
- 8:20Europe, in Africa, probably in Australia and Asia as well.
- 8:25It's just we shouldn't be downplaying this or pretending
- 8:28it's just an American issue when this is a global issue.
- 8:31The article also went on to say that some men were making money
- 8:34off the abuse of their wives by live streaming the abuse and
- 8:38taking requests in exchange for payment, which is just
- 8:40disgusting. The article says while the
- 8:42platforms vary, inside such groups, video is king.
- 8:46Some users advertise live streams showing the abuse of
- 8:48drug women in real time for $20 per viewer, with cryptocurrency
- 8:51the preferred means of payment. The CNN journalist spoke to one
- 8:55guy who was doing this and said how are your streams going
- 8:57making any money? And the user said, yeah, it went
- 9:00well. That night three guys bought and
- 9:02I streamed my unconscious wife to them.
- 9:04The CNN report said, did they direct you?
- 9:06And the user said, they told me what to do and I did it.
- 9:09Obviously they didn't know they were speaking to ACNN reporter,
- 9:11but you know, they've got all the receipts for, obviously.
- 9:14The article went on. Another user who say was based
- 9:16in West Africa, shared a clip from a previous live stream he
- 9:19said he'd done to entice us to his next.
- 9:21In it, a woman who he said was a sleeping wife could be heard
- 9:24snoring as he climbs on top of her.
- 9:26Then the clip ends in Poland. The woman and the person they
- 9:30were talking to, I guess Peter said was his wife, also appears
- 9:34to be unaware of what's happening to her, he said.
- 9:36I still have a few photos but it's hard for me to put her to
- 9:38sleep. Many of these groups operate
- 9:40shielded by the anonymity of the Internet, but they also find a
- 9:43sense of community and perverse camaraderie as they normalise
- 9:46abuse For months. I really haven't pronounced.
- 9:50Let me Google how to pronounce that.
- 9:51You know what? I googled the name.
- 9:53So apparently it's the Polish version of Peter, but it's
- 9:55pronounced like piot piot. I'm so bad it I'm so sorry.
- 10:00Please don't mind me if I try and pronounce it as Peter for
- 10:03now because I'm from Yorkshire. I'm useless.
- 10:06I'm so sorry. Yeah.
- 10:08So for months he spoke openly with us and even shared what he
- 10:11said was his address, which is interesting.
- 10:13And in messages he said two sleeping tablets should be
- 10:15enough, plus some drinks, even 1's enough if there's more
- 10:18alcohol. The CNN report said.
- 10:20Does your wife suspect anything? And their involvement said for
- 10:22now I'm hiding everything well, but I have to be careful.
- 10:25But when it came to meeting face to face, he resisted.
- 10:27We want to confirm he was who he said he was.
- 10:29So he travelled to his hometown in Poland.
- 10:31CNN found him and his wife at a local restaurant, uncertain how
- 10:34he might react and unwilling but her in danger.
- 10:36We chose not to confront him, instead reaching out to police
- 10:39about our findings, which I think is a pretty good choice to
- 10:42make. Peter, Oh my God, I'm useless,
- 10:44I'm so sorry. And he's just one actor in a
- 10:46vast global network. His wife likely among many
- 10:49unaware victims. But some survivors do know.
- 10:52And then the article goes on to talk about some survivors who
- 10:54have found out they were victims of this and how it's affected
- 10:57them. And again, I think it's really
- 10:58important that we listen to their stories and understand and
- 11:00not just focus on the 62,000,000 men because that's putting the
- 11:04perpetrators at the front of this story and not the actual
- 11:06survivors who are what matter here.
- 11:09They are who matter. When Zoe Wattsland, a husband of
- 11:1216 years, had been crushing her son's sleeping medication into
- 11:14her tea and raping her while she was passed out, it shot at her
- 11:17world, she says. We worry about who's coming
- 11:20behind us walking down the street or who's even friending
- 11:23us on Facebook. You know, we worry about going
- 11:25to our car late at night in a car park, but we don't worry
- 11:28about who you lie next to. I didn't realise I had to.
- 11:31Her Then Husband's confession came on an otherwise ordinary
- 11:33Sunday in 2018 after the people who share four children had
- 11:37returned from church. So again, the people doing this
- 11:40can be absolutely anyone, even people who seem to be good
- 11:43people from the outside, you know, churchgoers, family men,
- 11:46can be absolutely anyone. She says he reeled off a list of
- 11:49wrongdoings as if it was, you know, a shopping list.
- 11:52This one, by the way, is from Devon here in England.
- 11:55So again, when I say this is a global problem, I mean this is a
- 11:58global problem. He told her the abuse has been
- 12:00going on for years. He just sort of said, I've been
- 12:02using our son's sleeping medication to put in your last
- 12:04cup of tea at night to tie you down, take photographs and rape
- 12:07you. You know what shocking that he
- 12:09called it rape though, because a lot of these men don't want to
- 12:11admit to it. But we'll talk about that in a
- 12:13moment. The admission left Watts
- 12:14questioning all their intimate moments.
- 12:16At the end of a very busy day, I was just grateful I had a cup of
- 12:19tea before I went to bed because I was so tired and didn't have
- 12:22to make it, she said, adding you don't expect anything other than
- 12:25innocence coming from your partner.
- 12:27After a serious panic attack, Watts told her sister, Then
- 12:30their mother called the police. While she believes pressing
- 12:32charges was the right decision at the time, it was agonising.
- 12:36A4 year legal process saw her children become targets for
- 12:38bullying at school and left her social network all but
- 12:41destroyed. I've had people say, yeah, but
- 12:43he's your husband or but weren't you await.
- 12:45So it's not the same as being taken down an alleyway, is it?
- 12:48Except it is. It absolutely is.
- 12:50And it in some ways you could argue it's worse because there's
- 12:53an extra layer of betrayal from someone you're supposed to trust
- 12:56and who's supposed to love you. Her ex-husband is serving an 11
- 12:59year sentence for rape, sexual assault by penetration and drug
- 13:01doing and I think this is one of the most important things that
- 13:04this story highlights and it reminds me of.
- 13:06I saw a really gross comment over on my second channel the
- 13:08other day that repulsed me so much I blocked the person who
- 13:12wrote it because I was just like no, not dealing with this
- 13:14nonsense. It's awful.
- 13:16She basically said that she blamed a rape victim for being
- 13:19raped because she chose to go on a date with her rapist in the
- 13:221st place and she didn't believe it was even really sexual
- 13:25assault and because the victim apparently froze up.
- 13:27And so I didn't have any bruises on her.
- 13:29And she said that if I was ever raped, then you'd know it
- 13:32because I'd be fighting back and screaming and I'd have like
- 13:35defensive wounds on me. And that's how you know it'd be
- 13:37real rape. And I was so disgusted in so
- 13:40many ways because 1. You never know how you're
- 13:43reacting that situation until you're actually in it.
- 13:46And I really hope most people never have to find out how
- 13:48they'd react. But until it happens to you, you
- 13:50don't know. You absolutely don't know. 2.
- 13:53There's no one right way to respond to rape.
- 13:57Some people fight back, some people freeze, some people
- 13:59phone. For some, it's a mixture of the
- 14:01above of and no matter what response you have to it, it
- 14:04doesn't invalidate your experience or change whether it
- 14:07was rape or not. And three, just because the
- 14:09perpetrator was someone you know or someone you agreed to go on a
- 14:11date with, or maybe they're already your partner or your
- 14:14husband or an ex or anything like that, just or or a friend.
- 14:18Just because it's someone you know and previously interacted
- 14:20with or maybe even you previously consented to an
- 14:22interaction with them, that doesn't mean they can't rape
- 14:25you. And if they do, it doesn't mean
- 14:27it's your fault. Just looking at the UK stats.
- 14:29And please take these numbers with a pinch of salt because we
- 14:32do know that rape in general is woefully underreported.
- 14:35But according to the reported stats in 2025, for victims who
- 14:39experienced rape or assault by penetration, including attempts
- 14:42since the age of 16 years, over half that's 54.7% were assaulted
- 14:48by a partner or ex partner. And if you want sources for all
- 14:51this, I'll leave it down to video description.
- 14:53And it's not just rape women have to worry about.
- 14:55Statistically, the most dangerous space for a woman to
- 14:58exist in is her own home. The United Nations Office of and
- 15:02Crime estimates around the world every 11 seconds a woman or girl
- 15:05is killed by someone in their own family, usually in their own
- 15:08home. In 2021 alone, UN Women reported
- 15:11that 81,000 women and girls were killed around the world, with
- 15:15over 65% of them being murdered by an intimate partner or other
- 15:19family member, usually fathers, brothers and uncles, all men.
- 15:23The femicide census found that in 2021 men are killing one
- 15:27woman every three days in the UK, with over half of them being
- 15:30killed by a partner or former a partner.
- 15:32The idea that threat and danger only comes from strangers is
- 15:35something that we need to change.
- 15:36We need to be aware where the danger actually comes from, who
- 15:40the actual threats are. Of course, it's impossible to
- 15:43know exactly who is dangerous. Many of the men on these sites,
- 15:46like in the sleep section of the Motherless website and then this
- 15:49Telegram group, they look and act just like anyone else.
- 15:53Their wives and girlfriends wouldn't necessarily know
- 15:55anything was wrong, you know, on the whole.
- 15:59And if they do suspect something, then abusers are
- 16:01often quick to gaslight them and make them feel crazy, make them
- 16:04feel like it's their own fault rather than admit to what
- 16:06they've done. Listen to this next story from
- 16:08the CNN article. In the town of Wigan, in the
- 16:10northwest of England, Amanda Stanhope, who too was raped by
- 16:13her ex partner, said Giselle Pellicott's strength inspired
- 16:16her to speak out. Over a five year period,
- 16:18Stanhope said she would often fall asleep without remembering
- 16:21how and would wake up to bruises on her body and in different
- 16:24clothes with a towel under her without any memory as to why.
- 16:28After waking up a few times to her partner violently raping
- 16:31her, Stanhope knew something was wrong and asked him to stop.
- 16:34Instead, Stanhope said she was gas lit.
- 16:36So I know a lot of people will like blame these women, but and
- 16:39we'll be like, well, why didn't you know?
- 16:41Surely they were clearly, even if people do know and they all
- 16:45think they know and they ask questions and they try and get
- 16:47it to stop, you'll have situation, situations like this
- 16:50where they're gas lit beyond belief, where they're told
- 16:52they're the crazy ones, where they're just like, you know,
- 16:54they have all their questions and gut feelings pushed back
- 16:57again, you know, she says, he would then turn on me and say,
- 17:01well, you're on too much medication.
- 17:02You must be imagining it. That didn't happen.
- 17:05You're mental, You're crazy. So even though I felt 100% sure
- 17:09that something had happened, he was trying to change my reality,
- 17:12saying that it hadn't happened, even though the physical signs
- 17:15were there. So I don't understand how anyone
- 17:17can blame these women in this situation.
- 17:19The article goes on to sleep. With the support of her brother,
- 17:21Stanhope eventually went to the police.
- 17:23Her former partner was charged with rape and sexual assault.
- 17:25He took his own life before the case ever went to court.
- 17:28Sharing her story is part of Stanhope's healing process, but
- 17:31the trauma has unequivocally changed her outlook.
- 17:33I see everyone as a potential predator.
- 17:35Stanhope said, adding It took my innocence for people away.
- 17:38Another story for you. Survivor Valentina, a mother of
- 17:41two who lives in northern Italy and who asked CNN to not use her
- 17:44real name, said she too has a hard time trusting anyone.
- 17:48Again, Please note this is a global issue.
- 17:50We've now seen cases of this happening in multiple parts of
- 17:54Africa, Africa, multiple parts of the UK, across Europe, North
- 17:59America. Do you want any more examples of
- 18:01how this is a global problem? And But she said, I can't
- 18:04conceive of the fact that a woman could be treated like
- 18:07slaughterhouse meat because in the end, that's what I was.
- 18:10She discovered videos that her husband of 20 years had filmed
- 18:13showing him abusing her after he drugged her with alcohol and
- 18:16sedatives, she said. I was lucky to find the videos
- 18:19because truly it would have been a bit difficult to to believe
- 18:22because I had no marks. Valentina doesn't remember the
- 18:24abuse, but it left psychological scars, she said.
- 18:27No matter how much you try to brush it off, it's always right
- 18:30there beside you. The experience you've had.
- 18:32It just takes a bed, a camera, a different scent to trigger her.
- 18:35The article goes on to say some forms of pornography has have
- 18:39long normalised violence against women as entertainment with
- 18:42algorithm with algorithms that favour extreme content, further
- 18:45pushing exploitative material into the mainstream, experts
- 18:48say. And this is something I've
- 18:50spoken about a lot in my videos where I talk about this
- 18:51normalisation of violence against women in often books,
- 18:56but other media as well, this romanticization of rape and
- 18:59sexual violence. I do think it's problematic.
- 19:01And a lot of people push back against me.
- 19:02They're like, yeah, can you see there?
- 19:04I'm like, when we normalise sexual violence against women,
- 19:07it's going to have a effect on, you know, people as a whole.
- 19:11It absolutely contributes to rape culture in general.
- 19:15And I'm not going to apologise for trying to push back against
- 19:18that, you know? Claire McGlynn, a law professor
- 19:20at Britain's Durham University and an expert on violence
- 19:23against women and girls, told CNN that the growing presence of
- 19:26voyeuristic material on mainstream porn sites glorifies
- 19:29abusive behaviours both on and offline.
- 19:32It's a problem that many men and many people in society aren't
- 19:35taking seriously enough, she said.
- 19:37And I completely agree. For users within the online
- 19:40sleep porn community, the thrill of the abuse is not only in the
- 19:43ACT itself but in the collective dynamics surrounding it, said
- 19:46Annabelle Montagna, A psychologist who assessed half
- 19:49of the men convicted in the Pellicott trial, including
- 19:51Dominique, who organised the crimes.
- 19:53She said within these sites there is also the notion of
- 19:56almost brotherhood. She added that participants find
- 19:58themselves creating bonds that meet and reinforce their
- 20:01narcissistic needs. Sandrine Josso, a French
- 20:04lawmaker who after being drugged by a former French senator, has
- 20:07campaigned to raise awareness about drug.
- 20:09Facilitated sexual abuse called the group's schools of violence.
- 20:13I would even call them an online rape Academy where every subject
- 20:17is taught. There are all the subjects and
- 20:19disciplines needed to become a good rapist or sexual predator,
- 20:22she said. And as well, discussing this bit
- 20:23that I want to correct another bit of misinformation because a
- 20:26lot of the articles and coverage out there use this phrase rape
- 20:30Academy as a kind of shocking click baity title and suggest
- 20:33that this is the name of the group itself or a section of a
- 20:36website that men are actively going to like.
- 20:37They're actively signing up for rape Academy.
- 20:40Like they would take university or one of these other stupid
- 20:43manosphere groups or something like that.
- 20:45But it's not a thing that men are like looking for.
- 20:47They're not like, I'm going to join the rape Academy.
- 20:49I want to be part of rape Academy.
- 20:51This is a name that a lawmaker has given to it.
- 20:53That's kind of, you know, I mean, it's fitting.
- 20:55It absolutely is. But she's saying it's like a
- 20:58rape Academy. These men aren't choosing to
- 21:00join a rape Academy. I think that's a very important
- 21:03distinction that we need to make.
- 21:05I'm pointing this out not because it makes the men's
- 21:07behaviour any better or worse than it would otherwise, but
- 21:10just that it's different and it raises a different problem than
- 21:13it would if they were signing up for a rape Academy.
- 21:16You know what I mean? You know, by using these
- 21:18relatively safe sounding terms like sleep and you know, the
- 21:23triple Z or I check or something like that, rather than labelling
- 21:26it what it is, rape, assault, violence, these men are able to
- 21:30detach themselves from what they're doing.
- 21:32You know, they're not actually joining a rape Academy.
- 21:35They're just part of a sleep group.
- 21:37You see what I mean? These these soft terms make it
- 21:40sound less serious than it is. You know, these men might be
- 21:43thinking to themselves, well, they'd never rape a woman.
- 21:46But I mean, if it's your wife and she's asleep and she doesn't
- 21:50know, you know, you can do stuff to her.
- 21:52But it's not like, like it's a rape, is it?
- 21:54Of course it is. But they're justifying it.
- 21:57They're distancing themselves. They're detaching themselves.
- 21:59They're downplaying the seriousness of what they're
- 22:01doing. Again, this is like a massive
- 22:03part of exacerbating rape culture in that men detach
- 22:05themselves from this and like, well, you know, rape is bad and
- 22:09I'd never rape. I'm not a rapist.
- 22:11But and that's one of the huge problems when that kind of
- 22:14behaviour is so socially acceptable.
- 22:17So in the book What We Talk About When We Talk about Rape by
- 22:20Sahela Abdulali, who is great. Also, I've mentioned this book
- 22:23before. Very, very good.
- 22:25She writes, are all men capable of rape?
- 22:28In my own life, I cannot accept this.
- 22:30Here is what one man said when I asked if he thought he could
- 22:33imagine raping someone. For myself, I would say no.
- 22:35He said there's a level of empathy that would make it
- 22:38impossible for me. I believed him.
- 22:40Think about it. There is no reasonable reason to
- 22:43rape. You're either doing explicitly
- 22:45to cause damage or because you want sex and don't understand or
- 22:48care that the other person does not want it.
- 22:51And she goes on to talk about the motives of people who do
- 22:53rape. Rape often has a twisted value
- 22:55component. You value your own needs more
- 22:57than your victim. And again, she goes on to tell
- 23:00one survivor's story. Audrey, the British young woman
- 23:02who was gang raped in Italy, told me that one of her rapists
- 23:05said in his police statement that he didn't need to rape to
- 23:08get women. He was so naturally attractive
- 23:10that women just flocked to him. In his mind, it wasn't even
- 23:12rape. She was just lying there,
- 23:14clearly fine with it. So what was the problem?
- 23:16Audrey even went on to say that the judge in her case sided with
- 23:19her rapists. The judge and prosecutor seemed
- 23:21to share this perspective to an extent that rape was something
- 23:24only real psychos jumping out of bushes did, or losers who
- 23:27couldn't get sex any other away. It was not something that good
- 23:30looking, well dressed young men needed to resort to.
- 23:33I guess I would respond today that rape is not really about
- 23:35sexual attraction or having sex in the 1st place.
- 23:38And I think this sums up a lot of what is going on with these
- 23:41men on these sleep sites and so on.
- 23:43It's clearly not just about attraction or sex because, you
- 23:46know, these are their wives who they've probably had a pretty
- 23:49healthy, normal sex life with before any of this happened, you
- 23:52know, and before they knew what was being done to them when they
- 23:55were unconscious. These men could have likely had
- 23:57these women anytime they wanted with their consent, if that's
- 24:00all it was, if it was just about attraction.
- 24:02But there was clearly something more happening here, something
- 24:05about wanting the control or the power or just wanting to show
- 24:08off and perform for other men. It's clear that for a lot of
- 24:12these men, what they were doing, they probably didn't see as
- 24:15rape. They weren't being violent as
- 24:17such. They weren't jumping out of
- 24:19bushes at strangers. They weren't stalking women down
- 24:22the street and grabbing them, they were in bed with their
- 24:24wives, people who'd said yes to them plenty of times before.
- 24:28So we couldn't be that bad, right?
- 24:30And it's not like these women were crying or fighting back.
- 24:33So we couldn't really be rape, you know, if we ignore the fact
- 24:35that they literally couldn't because they were drugs.
- 24:38This is why as a society having a misunderstanding of what rape
- 24:42is and isn't is so damn dangerous.
- 24:44Because it allows men like this to have this cognitive
- 24:47dissonance and be able to rationalise and justify and make
- 24:50exceptions for their own actions, even when we as
- 24:53outsiders can see how dangerous and wrong they are.
- 24:56These men don't realise the full extent of the damage they're
- 24:58doing and the trauma they're causing and how violent their
- 25:01actions actually are. Like I said earlier, so many of
- 25:05these men probably don't even think of themselves as rapists
- 25:07because they don't conform to whatever stereotypical image of
- 25:10a rapist they have in their heads.
- 25:12Mask wearing, violent, hiding in bushes, targeting strangers and
- 25:16so on. But as our feminist author
- 25:20Sohailo writes, the uncomfortable truth is that a
- 25:22rapist is just a guy. Any guy who rapes or woman or
- 25:28non binary person, we need to like acknowledge that as well.
- 25:32But you know what I'm saying? The point is you become a rapist
- 25:35by raping someone, not because you are this or this or this.
- 25:40Like that's all there is to it. And that's exactly what the men
- 25:43on this Telegram group and in these videos on the sleep
- 25:47portion of the Motherless website we're doing, they were
- 25:50raping every person who watched those videos or read those chats
- 25:53without pushing back, without fighting back, without doing
- 25:56something about it, without reporting the content was
- 25:59actively enabling rape. They were absolutely all part of
- 26:03the problem. I saw a great little post online
- 26:06a while ago which said something like, sure, it's not all men,
- 26:08but out of 10 men, one does this, one does this book.
- 26:11Blah. And it was really good and made
- 26:12sense. And I feel like my own little
- 26:14variation of this is out of any 10 men, 1 is a rapist, 2 know
- 26:19he's a rapist and don't speak up about it. 2 know what happened,
- 26:22but they don't believe that what he did was really rape. 2 hear
- 26:25the stories about it, but they don't believe him because you
- 26:27know, what about false accusations and other TV read
- 26:30the stories and think, yeah, I guess what he did was wrong.
- 26:32But they don't actually speak up about it or push back on what
- 26:34he's done because, you know, they don't want to rock the
- 26:36boat. They don't want to stand out.
- 26:38They want to be left out from the group, do they?
- 26:40And only one guy has the courage to actually say that guy's a
- 26:43rapist and I want nothing to do with him, and I am going to warn
- 26:46people about him. And that is the problem with
- 26:48rape culture in general. Out of 10 men, only one might be
- 26:51a rapist, but eight others are enabling him.
- 26:54And only one man is actually safe in that situation.
- 26:57And that's the problem. Because though, you know, nine
- 27:00of those men will say, hey, I'm a good guy, but they're not, are
- 27:03they? If you're enabling A rapist, if
- 27:04you're making excuses for him, if you don't push back on what
- 27:07he's done, if you don't actually believe what he's done is rape,
- 27:11if you make excuses for him, then you are actively part of
- 27:14the problem. You are still enabling a rapist
- 27:17and I think that is very much part of the problem with this
- 27:20website and Telegram group. Only a small percentage of the
- 27:24men on those groups and viewing those web pages were actively
- 27:27making those videos. But a much larger proportion
- 27:30were acting out the same scenarios in real life and
- 27:32raping the women in their lives and buying the sleeping tablets
- 27:36to, you know, use on their partners, you know, but without
- 27:40an audience. And then an even larger
- 27:42percentage of that were watching this happen and paying to see it
- 27:44and paying to have their fantasies played out on these
- 27:47women and encouraging it. And an even larger percentage
- 27:50still was silently watching this and not calling it out and not
- 27:54reporting the content and not saying hey, don't do this.
- 27:57And they are all part of the problem.
- 27:59If these videos had 10's and hundreds of thousands of views
- 28:03then clearly there were people seeing this and not doing
- 28:05anything about it. Where are all the people who
- 28:08would see this and say that's wrong?
- 28:10You need to stop. Hey motherless, why are you
- 28:12hosting this? Just because they weren't the
- 28:15ones doing the raping, that doesn't mean they weren't
- 28:17enabling the rape. For every person who saw that
- 28:19content and didn't do something about it.
- 28:21They are part of the problem. They are enabling the rape.
- 28:23Remember that despite what the misleading headline said, this
- 28:26wasn't actually 62,000,000 men participating in rape and
- 28:30learning how to rape. But it was still 10s, if not
- 28:33hundreds of thousands of men watching and condoning, staying
- 28:38silent and not speaking up. And there were thousands
- 28:42actively partaking in the discussions and encouraging
- 28:45others to do this, paying to see it done to other people.
- 28:48Hundreds of men were still doing it themselves, many of them
- 28:51creating content on it and making money off it.
- 28:53There were still hundreds of women who were victims and that
- 28:56is just too many. It might not have been
- 29:0062,000,000, but it was still more than it should be, the CNN
- 29:04article went on to say. Meanwhile, the landscape of drug
- 29:06facilitated assault is continuing to evolve, with
- 29:08perpetrators pivoting to more readily available prescription
- 29:11medicines that act quickly and leave little trace in the body
- 29:14compared to the date rate drugs of the past, making it harder
- 29:17for such cases to make their way to trial.
- 29:20AUS based sleep specialist Michael Kramer Boneman told CNN
- 29:23it's difficult to know how widespread drug facilitated
- 29:26sexual assault is as reliable data is limited across Europe.
- 29:30Most criminal justice systems either lack specific monitoring
- 29:33systems for drug facilitated sexual assault or do not include
- 29:37it as a separate category in officials crime statistics,
- 29:41meaning there's no fully comparable Europe wide data set
- 29:44on such assaults. And again, that's just a problem
- 29:46for Europe. Think about the rest of the
- 29:48world. This is a topic where reliable,
- 29:50specific data is scarce by design, A World Health
- 29:53Organisation spokesperson told CNN, adding that there are no
- 29:57accurate estimates of this type of abuse due to how
- 29:59underreported it is. And a big part of that is
- 30:02because a lot of the victims don't know that it's happening,
- 30:04but that doesn't mean they won't be in some way traumatised by
- 30:07it. So take for example, the woman
- 30:09who thought it was happening to her and her husband told told
- 30:12her she was crazy. She was imagining this.
- 30:14She still had the trauma from that.
- 30:16She still had the psychological issues from that, but she was
- 30:19still a victim and hurt by that. And then on top of that, she was
- 30:23told that like it wasn't true and there was more trauma rather
- 30:25to that because she started to doubt herself and feel like she
- 30:28was going crazy. And then because of all this,
- 30:30like there was just no proof of what was happening to her
- 30:32really. So she had no one else like
- 30:35telling her this was happening. She had no like backup or
- 30:39support, but she was still a victim.
- 30:41It just makes sense. Like, yeah, sorry, I'm rambling
- 30:44now. It's quite emotional.
- 30:45And the article went on to say, and the peasant from the World
- 30:49Health Organisation said many go unreported because victims feel
- 30:52embarrassment, guilt or perceived responsibility of it,
- 30:55or because they have limited memory of the assault.
- 30:58But again, just because it's hard to prove it happened, that
- 31:00doesn't mean it didn't happen. That doesn't mean these men
- 31:03aren't still rapists, it doesn't mean these victims aren't still
- 31:07victims and survivors. The article goes on say in
- 31:09England and Wales, the jurisdiction in which survivors
- 31:12Watson Stanhope live, 43% of recorded sexual assaults involve
- 31:15a partner or ex partner, according to March 2025 data.
- 31:19That's probably the same data I quoted earlier, marking a minor
- 31:22decrease from 45% five years ago.
- 31:25The proportion of victims recorded as having been
- 31:27assaulted while unconscious or asleep, however, has risen to
- 31:3023% from 21% over the last decade.
- 31:33Conviction rates of sexual assault across Europe, as in the
- 31:35US, remain low. This comes as no surprise to
- 31:38Stanhope. She says she was shocked by the
- 31:40initial police response to a video that showed her former
- 31:43partner sexually assaulting her while she was unconscious.
- 31:46I thought there's evidence. And the police said to me, well,
- 31:49we can't use that. That isn't clear evidence
- 31:51because it looks like you're pretending to be asleep.
- 31:53This is what gets me. You can literally see a person
- 31:56being raped. They can say I was raped.
- 31:59And often men and sometimes women as well will say, yeah,
- 32:03but how do we really know what happened there is like if I said
- 32:08to you right now, oh, yeah, and my bike stolen the other day,
- 32:11people be like, oh, my God, I'm so sorry, That's awful.
- 32:14But if I said as rape the other day, people would be like, well,
- 32:17you really can't believe that. Thankfully, neither of those
- 32:20happened to me. But my point is when we hear
- 32:23people say they were a victim of a crime, we have very different
- 32:26responses. We tend to believe some and not
- 32:28others. And we need to start thinking
- 32:30about why. Why are we so willing to give
- 32:32the benefit of the doubt to someone accused of rape but not,
- 32:35for example, someone accused of theft or something else?
- 32:38The article went on to say police eventually charged
- 32:40Stanhope's former partner, but her experience underscores by
- 32:43victims of domestic abuse often do not report these crimes.
- 32:46During the course of CNN's investigation, the Triple Z
- 32:50group was taken off the messaging platform Telegram.
- 32:52Telegram didn't respond directly to CNN's questions about the
- 32:55Triple Z group, but in a statement to CNN following
- 32:58publication of this report, it said that content that
- 33:01encourages sexual violence is explicitly forbidden by its
- 33:04terms of service and is removed whenever discovered.
- 33:07So the question remains, why wasn't it discovered sooner?
- 33:10With around 1000 members in that Telegram group, why was there
- 33:13not a single one of them with a conscience who thought maybe
- 33:15this is wrong, maybe I should report this.
- 33:18And this is exactly the culture problem I was talking about
- 33:20before. When you can have 1000 people
- 33:22all together in one space watching people rape people,
- 33:26talking about raping people, encouraging others to rape
- 33:29people, and not a single one of them has any bit of guilt which
- 33:33makes them take steps to stop it happening, that is a rape
- 33:36culture problem. And I know, of course, there's
- 33:38the argument of like, well, why would any of them want to report
- 33:40it? Because they want to be there.
- 33:41And I know I understand that, but the point is it's shocking
- 33:45to me that you can find 1000 people and get them together and
- 33:48for not one of them to have any kind of crisis of conscience
- 33:51about that. Shocking.
- 33:53Now, apparently that area of the motherless site has been taken
- 33:55down, but they're like, hey, it's not awful.
- 33:57Remove we'd known. And there's lots of issues with
- 34:00the laws around this kind of content, which means that just
- 34:03nothing can really be done about it.
- 34:05Like even in countries where this stuff is illegal, often
- 34:08these kinds of sites are hosting countries where it's not
- 34:10illegal. So even if, for example, you're
- 34:12a victim of this in the UK where it's illegal, if it's hosted on
- 34:15another site, you can't necessarily get that taken.
- 34:17If it's hosted on a site from another country, you can't
- 34:19necessarily get it taken down. And there's all kinds of issues
- 34:22with this. Oh gosh.
- 34:24Anyway, that's where I want to end this video before I get too
- 34:26emotional about this because I know it's a lot and I have a lot
- 34:29of thoughts and feelings about this.
- 34:31And but it's something that I just want to talk about, raise
- 34:34awareness about, and also address some of the
- 34:36misconceptions and misinformation about this
- 34:38because I do find that to be a problem and I think it's
- 34:41something that we need to talk about.
- 34:42So please let me know your thoughts down in the comments
- 34:44below. Please be kind to each other.
- 34:46And just know I've had a lot of people recently, like on my Jack
- 34:49demo video on this and my second channel all defending him as a
- 34:53convicted rapist and saying that he was falsely included.
- 34:55I'm like, no, he's a convicted rapist.
- 34:57I can call it the convicted rapist, like I absolutely
- 34:59believe his victim. Like that's it.
- 35:01And anyone who's going to like defend rape and be essentially
- 35:04prove rape and be like, no, I just blocked those people Now I
- 35:08don't have time for it. There's more important things in
- 35:10the world than like pretending to like accept people who are
- 35:15pro rape. I'm just I'm done with it.
- 35:17None of that. So if you don't leave a comment,
- 35:19please be kind, please add to the discussion in a productive,
- 35:24helpful way. Don't be like a bit you knew I
- 35:27don't believe you. Like stop that, please.
- 35:30No, we'll have no victim blame in here.
- 35:32We'll have no rape advocacy here as in like, you know, pro rape.
- 35:36Well, none of that, none of that.
- 35:38But if you want to speak out in support of the survivors, tell
- 35:41your own story or experience with this and share your own
- 35:45thoughts and feelings on this and add any topics or points of
- 35:49discussion that I've not covered, please do.
- 35:50I think that's really good and really important.
- 35:53But yeah, for now, thank you for watching.
- 35:55I'm sorry, I know this was a heavy one, but I appreciate you
- 35:58and your time and thank you so much for watching.