Latest / Wander the World with Pippa Hudson / Wander the World: Silent retreats for a peaceful break

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Wander the World: Silent retreats for a peaceful break · Wander the World with Pippa Hudson

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Join the conversation. This is Kate Talk Now. A couple
• 0:07
  Speaker 1: of weeks ago, we were having a conversation about neurodiversity
• 0:10
  Speaker 1: in the workplace and how to make work spaces more inclusive,
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  Speaker 1: and during that conversation we touched on the fact that
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  Speaker 1: many people value quiet zones in the office, and that
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  Speaker 1: led to a message from a listener about the value
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  Speaker 1: of quiet, the value of silence, and from there to
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  Speaker 1: mention of the concept of silent retreats. And I did
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  Speaker 1: say at the time, I'd love to hear more about that.
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  Speaker 1: I'd love to take a look at that in our
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  Speaker 1: travel and Tourism segment and explore what a silent retreat entails.
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  Speaker 1: So today in Wonder the World, I'm making good on
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  Speaker 1: that promise as we chat about the kind of getaway
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  Speaker 1: that offers a step away from the noise and the
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  Speaker 1: chaos of daily living into a space of quiet and
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  Speaker 1: of contemplation. Benefits from a getaway like that? Where do
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  Speaker 1: you find one? And why are so many people saying
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  Speaker 1: they were life changing for them, including the guest who
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  Speaker 1: is with me in studio today. It's a huge pleasure
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  Speaker 1: to welcome to the show, Nicki Cluti, who is a
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  Speaker 1: certified executive coach who has been facilitating Silid retreats for
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  Speaker 1: the past decade, and she started doing that after attending
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  Speaker 1: one that she says completely transformed her own life. I
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  Speaker 1: can wait to other story, Nikki. It's wonderful to have
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  Speaker 1: you with us.
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  Speaker 2: Welcome, Thank you, Pepa, Thank you for having me.
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  Speaker 1: It's a pleasure. You do them everywhere, from the mountains
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  Speaker 1: of the Cedarberg to the remotest corners of Namibia, and
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  Speaker 1: you take people into a space where the power of
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  Speaker 1: quiet becomes absolutely transformational. What was that like for you
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  Speaker 1: the first time you experienced a SIGNID retreat?
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  Speaker 2: It was absolutely terrifying. Yeah, initially, And the only reason
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  Speaker 2: I went was because I was in a really dark
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  Speaker 2: space in my life and I tried all sorts of
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  Speaker 2: things from therapy to meditation to medication, and I needed
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  Speaker 2: to try something else. And it was literally the cat
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  Speaker 2: list to me stopping drinking. So I'm twelve years sober
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  Speaker 2: now and it was there that I could see what
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  Speaker 2: was actually going on for the first time. And it
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  Speaker 2: does this for everyone.
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  Speaker 1: How does it do that? Tell us a little bit
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  Speaker 1: about what happened and what you experienced that allowed you
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  Speaker 1: that that new perspective on life that you got.
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  Speaker 2: The silence itself. So I was with Sue Cooper, who
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  Speaker 2: is my meditation teacher, at a place called Body Kaya Yes,
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  Speaker 2: and the fact that you are in silence with people
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  Speaker 2: in a place of natural beauty, where everything that needs
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  Speaker 2: to be done is done, so you don't have any
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  Speaker 2: decision fatigue. You can't distract yourself by doing, you can't
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  Speaker 2: bypass what you're actually feeling by taking an interest in
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  Speaker 2: someone else's story. So within a short period of time,
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  Speaker 2: with all of that stripped away, one comes face to
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  Speaker 2: face with perhaps the things that you didn't want to
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  Speaker 2: see or were so overstimulated by the noise of the
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  Speaker 2: world that you didn't even know was there. Suo's teachings
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  Speaker 2: are Buddhist teachings, and I found that very profound. My
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  Speaker 2: retreats now are mindfulness retreats, So I don't call them
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  Speaker 2: Buddhist retreats, even though I'm hugely influenced by the Buddhist teaching.
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  Speaker 2: But it's really those things that create the transformational space,
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  Speaker 2: the silence, nature and this empty canvas.
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  Speaker 1: Nikki. From a neuroscience perspective, you've just used words like
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  Speaker 1: overstimulation and the noise of the world. What is actually
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  Speaker 1: happening in the human brain when it has this moment
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  Speaker 1: of enforced disengagement from technology and things to do and
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  Speaker 1: places to be and people to be something for. And
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  Speaker 1: what goes on in the brain when you have that
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  Speaker 1: moment of deliberate pause away from all of that.
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  Speaker 2: It depends firsten to person, but typically there's this moment
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  Speaker 2: of I'm not going to go into the actual neuroscience
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  Speaker 2: of it because I'm not qualified to do so, but
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  Speaker 2: my understanding of it is that there's a sense of
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  Speaker 2: initially almost shock because it's so unfamiliar, and then slowly
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  Speaker 2: the opportunity for the nervous system to start settling. And
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  Speaker 2: when that happens and our breathing becomes a little bit
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  Speaker 2: more slow and we start reaching a state of greater regulation,
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  Speaker 2: it means that we start coming face to face with
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  Speaker 2: our own conditioning, our own thought patterns, the typical kind
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  Speaker 2: of self sabotaging thoughts. We might have the stories that
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  Speaker 2: we're telling ourself, and it's not about sitting down and
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  Speaker 2: examining one's navel. It's the opposite. And the saying is
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  Speaker 2: or a quote that I absolutely love, is that you
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  Speaker 2: are listening for answers without forcing them to speak, which
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  Speaker 2: I love. And from that place of greater regulation and
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  Speaker 2: just a willingness to be present to whatever is arising.
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  Speaker 2: That's that's what becomes possible from a brain and nervous
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  Speaker 2: system point of view.
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  Speaker 1: Nikki, I can see it in my mind's eye that
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  Speaker 1: there might be people listening to this going, But what
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  Speaker 1: do you actually do on a silent retreat? So I'm
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  Speaker 1: going to go there and ask you to explain for
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  Speaker 1: somebody who's listening to this going, But like, what do
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  Speaker 1: you do? What do you just sit and think for
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  Speaker 1: all the time? Let you there? How does it work?
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  Speaker 1: Do you want to tell us a little bit more
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  Speaker 1: about what a retreat involves the way you run them?
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  Speaker 2: Thank you. It's helpful to have that question, because I've
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  Speaker 2: done it for so long that sometimes I realize that
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  Speaker 2: it can be really confusing. People do sometimes say to me,
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  Speaker 2: so do you speak at all? You know? Who act?
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  Speaker 2: How do we know what to do? When? It depends
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  Speaker 2: on the length of the retreat, But typically, for in
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  Speaker 2: the retreats that I facilitate, if it's a weekend retreat,
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  Speaker 2: so we'd arrive on the Friday, afternoon, settle in, have
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  Speaker 2: an initial landing meditation, start that process of landing and grounding.
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  Speaker 2: We go into silence after dinner on that Friday night.
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  Speaker 2: We maintain silence all day Saturday except for me and
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  Speaker 2: I try to not speak a huge amount. But I
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  Speaker 2: will guide meditations, i will facilitate yoga classes. I'll give
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  Speaker 2: little announcements about where we're going to eat. People can
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  Speaker 2: write notes to me if they want to, but the
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  Speaker 2: premise is that they don't talk to each other. They
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  Speaker 2: don't communich with each other in any way. They don't
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  Speaker 2: write notes to each other. I've had mother and daughters
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  Speaker 2: situations before, sharing a room where the mother has wanted
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  Speaker 2: to know. But do what's apps count? Can I WhatsApp
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  Speaker 2: my daughter who's in the same room. So on the
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  Speaker 2: one day of silence, on that shorter retreat setting, it
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  Speaker 2: would be doing somatic movements, taking free time, wondering, daydreaming,
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  Speaker 2: And it's only after breakfast the following morning that we
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  Speaker 2: start to slowly break our silence. And one of the
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  Speaker 2: key things is that we don't try and do on
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  Speaker 2: a silent retreat. People sometimes arrive with an epiphany to
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  Speaker 2: be had a meditation mandala book to be completed, a
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  Speaker 2: poem to be written. But it's all about stopping doing
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  Speaker 2: all of that, because that's just distracting us from what's
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  Speaker 2: really there.
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  Speaker 1: We're in conversation with Nicki Clutie. If you've just tuned
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  Speaker 1: in for today's episode of Wonder the World. We are
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  Speaker 1: exploring the concept of a silent retreat, a very different
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  Speaker 1: kind of getaway from the usual kind of holiday. Because
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  Speaker 1: most holidays that we go on all about seeking stimulation
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  Speaker 1: and activity and new things to look at and try
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  Speaker 1: and being active. This is the very opposite of that.
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  Speaker 1: It's about saying pause everything, put the brakes on everything,
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  Speaker 1: put the silence on, and just be with yourself, do
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  Speaker 1: some inward looking. The position in nature is I think
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  Speaker 1: very crucial to where you do these. Now you've mentioned
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  Speaker 1: body Kaya, which is I think near Stanford, Am I correct?
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  Speaker 1: Do you go always go there or do you take
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  Speaker 1: it into other spaces as well?
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  Speaker 2: I try to take it into other spaces And it
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  Speaker 2: depends on it depends on many things, the season, etc.
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  Speaker 2: Mostly in the western Cape. But do you do retreats
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  Speaker 2: further afield? Yeah, as far as the deep south of
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  Speaker 2: Namibia Cedarburg. As you said, all over.
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  Speaker 1: Okay, if you've got questions for Niki, you're welcome to
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  Speaker 1: center What's up to seven two five six seven one
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  Speaker 1: five six seven, Or if you've been on a silent
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  Speaker 1: retreat and would like to talk to us about what
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  Speaker 1: you discovered about the world, about yourself, how it impacted you,
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  Speaker 1: what it was like then coming back to normal life,
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  Speaker 1: because I would imagine, Nikki, it's quite hard to reintegrate.
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  Speaker 1: You've gone so deep into stillness and silence, and to
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  Speaker 1: then have to go to work on Monday and get
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  Speaker 1: back into the rat race must.
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  Speaker 2: Be quite an adjustment, so one does become skilled at it.
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  Speaker 2: You're absolutely right. The longer the retreat, the more challenging
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  Speaker 2: that integration can be. A weekend retreat, you literally it
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  Speaker 2: just gives you a little taste, so you dip into
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  Speaker 2: the silence and you come out of it. And for
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  Speaker 2: many people, especially those for whom silence feels hostile, that
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  Speaker 2: can be just enough to help them decide Okay, I
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  Speaker 2: like this or I don't. I've only had one person
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  Speaker 2: say to me that after the retreat they didn't enjoy
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  Speaker 2: the silence, and that was someone who is forced to
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  Speaker 2: be there on a silent corporate silent retreat interesting, but yeah,
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  Speaker 2: it's just to be clear, it doesn't have to be
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  Speaker 2: a deep and meaningful experience. So for people like myself,
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  Speaker 2: just having a break from all the noise, the digital noise,
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  Speaker 2: the interpersonal noise, and especially as someone who is near
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  Speaker 2: a divergent or this, not having to mask, not having
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  Speaker 2: to do the small talk, but be surrounded by like
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  Speaker 2: minded people, that's incredibly nourishing and uplifting. So many people
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  Speaker 2: do come away from the retreat feeling boyd and excited
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  Speaker 2: about going back into life with their batteries recharged, rather
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  Speaker 2: than stepping away feeling drained and like, oh my god,
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  Speaker 2: what have I surfaced here? But it needs to be
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  Speaker 2: carefully managed. Yeah, and I help with that because.
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  Speaker 1: I mean, there's so much value in that. As I said,
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  Speaker 1: I'm sure for many and for you, there was huge,
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  Speaker 1: deep personal work and life changing decisions that came out
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  Speaker 1: of this experience, But there is so much value in
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  Speaker 1: just saying I'm allowing myself the chance to step away
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  Speaker 1: and just be. I've just come back from a solo
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  Speaker 1: travel trip where I did exactly that, So it wasn't
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  Speaker 1: silent entirely, although I didn't talk very much. But it
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  Speaker 1: was about saying, I'm giving myself a couple of days
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  Speaker 1: to just be and not have to be anything to
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  Speaker 1: anybody else but myself. And the value the recharge of
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  Speaker 1: batteries that that brings is not to be underestimated. So
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  Speaker 1: I am all for the concept and I totally get
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  Speaker 1: what you say. It doesn't have to be earth shattering
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  Speaker 1: life changing, although I find it does give me a
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  Speaker 1: lot of clarity around big decisions I have to make
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  Speaker 1: forward planning and that sort of thing. Now, Nikki, let's
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  Speaker 1: talk costs, because the thing here is you are talking
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  Speaker 1: about going away for an entire weekend, and obviously that
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  Speaker 1: comes with catering and accommodation and travel costs that immediately
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  Speaker 1: put price tags on things that make them difficult for
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  Speaker 1: some people to access. Do you have a sort of
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  Speaker 1: a rough cost guideline for what one of your treats cost.
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  Speaker 2: A weekend retreat, for example, So I'll give you the
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  Speaker 2: price of my last retreat. It was I think that
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  Speaker 2: the early bird was five five five five, so five
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  Speaker 2: thousand odd for people who had been on retreats with
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  Speaker 2: me before. For brand new people, it would be I
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  Speaker 2: think it is about one thousand round more.
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  Speaker 1: Now.
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  Speaker 2: I used to charge a hell of a lot more
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  Speaker 2: for retreats, but I'm increasingly feeling uncomfortable with the profile
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  Speaker 2: of retreatants. It tends to be middle aged, white women
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  Speaker 2: with money, and I don't necessarily feel comfortable. It's not
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  Speaker 2: that I don't want those people there. I am one
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  Speaker 2: of those people, but I'm looking at ways in which
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  Speaker 2: I can provide the space, but where people are either
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  Speaker 2: camping or doing self catering things, which is going to
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  Speaker 2: bring the price dramatically. So my retreats, I would say,
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  Speaker 2: are pretty low compared to a lot of others.
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  Speaker 1: Yeah, I love that idea of trying to make it
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  Speaker 1: more accessible, because you know, it strikes me a lot
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  Speaker 1: of the people who would not be able to afford
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  Speaker 1: the higher price, or the very people who would benefit
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  Speaker 1: the most from that gift of stepping away from the
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  Speaker 1: noise and the burdens of daily life and have that
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  Speaker 1: opportunity to sit and be still in silence for even
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  Speaker 1: a day or two. So I love the fact that
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  Speaker 1: you're playing in that space. I mean, for somebody who's
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  Speaker 1: listening to this interview right now, Nikki, who is feeling
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  Speaker 1: mentally exhausted, overwhelmed, burnt out. Is there a way for
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  Speaker 1: them to try and put this into practice without coming
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  Speaker 1: away on a formal retreat? Can you do it yourself?
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  Speaker 2: Are absolutely so? I always say I want to be
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  Speaker 2: fired from facilitating retreats for you because I want you
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  Speaker 2: to be able to access that stillness within yourself. And
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  Speaker 2: sometimes becoming quiet is what needs to happen in order
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  Speaker 2: to remember, Gosh, there is that place within me. It's
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  Speaker 2: like the eye of a storm. And once we know
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  Speaker 2: that it's there, it's like muscle memory. We can get
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  Speaker 2: back there again through practices like breathing, like a digital
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  Speaker 2: detox on a Sunday for half the day, or even
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  Speaker 2: just a walk in nature. But it's about being intentional,
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  Speaker 2: about stepping out of the urgency culture and stepping out
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  Speaker 2: of that always on habit.
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  Speaker 1: Stepping out of the urgency culture is such a brilliant
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  Speaker 1: way of putting it, NICKI thank you.
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  Speaker 2: It's not mine, so I read it somewhere.
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  Speaker 1: I can't glad you remembered it, is all I can say,
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  Speaker 1: because it's so so apt. Last thing, because we must
• 14:38
  Speaker 1: head over to the news, is if somebody listening to
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  Speaker 1: this would like to reach out to you about your
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  Speaker 1: next retreat, which I know is going to be in
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  Speaker 1: the Cederberg in October, or would like to reach out
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  Speaker 1: to you about the concept, ask any questions we haven't
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  Speaker 1: answered today. How do they reach you? What's the best way?
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  Speaker 2: My website is www dot Meta, me E t TA
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  Speaker 2: numbers three six five dot com, Meta three six five
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  Speaker 2: dot com and all of my socials are on there
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  Speaker 2: as well.
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  Speaker 1: Nicki Clutie. Has been a huge pleasure to have you
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  Speaker 1: with us. Thanks for reminding us of the power of
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  Speaker 1: silence and stillness. Thanks you dipping out of the urgency
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  Speaker 1: culture and much appreciated.
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  Speaker 2: Thank you so much,