Latest / Citizen Frame / Masters of the Universe

Transcript

Masters of the Universe · Citizen Frame

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Music.
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He who waits. And I have waited so very long for this moment.
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Let her go. I don't think so.
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Now, while she remains imprisoned within this field, her powers increase my own.
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And when the moon reaches its zenith, the
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great eye will open and all the
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powers of Greyskull will be bestowed upon
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me hello everyone welcome back to another blockbuster blockbuster classic from
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the 1980s well some of some of you might not think that in a way i don't think
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that i think it's trevor's favorite film of all time it's a fun film oh my god.
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Yes so in the 80s toys were pretty much the before video games came out you
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had the toys And then he had, you know, Matt He-Man, you had G.I.
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Joe, you had Stubby Shortcake, Cabbage Patch Kids, Legos, I mean, Fisher-Price.
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Star Wars. Star Wars action figures. It just kept going and going.
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You had Transformers and Transbot, what do you call them? Something bots.
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Yeah, I'm just. Then, obviously, Nintendo and ColecoVision and Atari all became, showed up.
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So the 80s was definitely a uh very big
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in consumerism yeah it was a big it was a big era for like toys
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and sort of the real you know commercialization of toys connected with franchises
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sometimes the franchises came first like with star wars the films came first
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and then there was the toys but with the likes of he-man i believe the toys
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came first then there was a a cartoon series?
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Well, He-Man was smart. What they did was, I think it was Mattel. Yes, Mattel, yeah.
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They, what they did was when you bought a He-Man figure, it came with a comic book. Yeah.
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A mini comic book. And that would tell the story of maybe that particular character.
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It was actually quite cool little comics. I remember getting them.
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I have an actual Skeletor. Right.
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I remember at the time I was, I remember watching it and stuff,
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but like the Transformers, my cousin would have been bigger into them,
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whereas I was more into horror. He was more into sort of fantasy and science fiction.
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And I, well, saying that I had a lot of Star Wars figures and stuff when I was
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very young, but he would have been more into, I remember him having like the
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Castle Greyskull and stuff and the Skeletor figure and all the rest. Right.
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Yeah, I always wanted the Castle of Grayskull.
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And the great thing about the toys too, they were a massive upgrade from,
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even though Star Wars figures were probably the go-to period. Yeah. They were cheesy.
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I mean, come on, they weren't exactly looking like the actors or anything like
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that. You know what I had? You know what I had? And they were very cool.
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Again, just you mentioning about them not really looking like the actors.
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I had 18 figures and they were pretty cool.
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But it's the same concept. set, the 18 figures, the G.I.
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Joes, well, G.I. Joes were a little more advanced and they had the Star Wars
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where the He-Mans, the He-Mans were bigger.
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Yes. And, you know, it just, they look cooler.
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The 18. You know, easier to play with and stuff like that.
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And they're very hard to break. The 18 ones were like that.
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They were bigger, just around the same size as the He-Mans. I don't remember the 18 being that big.
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They were the same size as Star Wars. No, no, they were bigger.
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They were about the size of the He-Man ones. The ones I had anyway.
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Anyway, and I also had a Rambo gun.
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Wow. There you go. Wow.
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Today's a better day now that I knew that. Well, you know, it's just keeping
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with that connection with me and Rambo, you know what I mean?
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There's a lot of similarities between us, you know?
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Well, it was time to get the movie made after the product was quite successful.
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Unfortunately, it came out a little late, I think. He-Man came and went.
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He-Man lasted a good four or five years, But this came out, I think,
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a couple of years too late. Yeah, they must have brought it back.
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Yeah, it took a while to get out. I'm sure there was budgetary reasons and so forth.
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But yeah, here we are to talk, not He-Man, but Masters of the Universe.
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I have the power.
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Directed by Gary Goddard. Gary Goddard doesn't do much.
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He just kind of did this one, a couple of one-offs. but he's actually very popular
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for, he does a lot of the movie amusement rides for Universal Studios.
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I saw that, I read from that.
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Yeah, like Jurassic World, all the fun park rides, he creates them and the stories
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behind it. So I think it's kind of neat little gig.
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And the funny thing is, I can kind of see that after seeing this film,
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you can kind of see him going to that direction.
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Yeah, this is an amusement park ride. You know the way Martin Scorsese in recent
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years and Quentin Tarantino to a certain extent,
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but definitely Scorsese accused Marvel of being theme park rides this is very
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much a 1980s theme park ride i want to go that anyway i want to go that far
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i mean i think theme park rides i think you know big blockbuster marvel i mean
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this isn't well it was for the 80s.
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No we'll get into it we'll get into it,
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Yeah, I read up on this a little bit. It was kind of funny that the one thing
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Mattel wanted was, we have a lot of robot deaths here, and the reason they had
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to be robot deaths, He-Man, Mattel says, He-Man does not kill.
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Yeah, they didn't want any characters being killed here.
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They know He-Man doesn't kill. Yeah.
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And so they had to turn the villains into robots, the ones that he kills.
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Yes, but also not established characters in their canon weren't allowed to die.
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Even Skeletor survives at the end if you stick to the end of the credits. Oh, yeah. I'll be back.
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It's so fucking stupid. Yeah. Fuck. But I mean... Spoiler alert.
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It's not as though this film's highbrow anyway, you know what I mean? Or serious.
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Now, the one thing that the film gets right, and I have to admit,
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besides some of the acting's pretty piss poor, but I think that's more for comic
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book effect than it is that they're bad actors.
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You know, as much as I love Dolph, and we talked about him, And the Universal
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Soldier podcast is bad here.
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But yeah, we got Dolph Lundgren as He-Man, Frank Ligella as Skeletor,
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Meg Foster as Evil Lynn, Billy Barty as Gwynlore, Courtney Cox as Julie,
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Robert Duncan McNeil as Kevin,
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John Cypher as Man-at-Arms, Chelsea Field as Tila, and the good to always see,
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we've talked about him quite a few times here, James Tolkien. Yes.
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As Detective Lubick. Yes.
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Which is probably one of the creepiest endings. I know. And we will certainly get to his ending.
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Yep. It's about, you know. Got myself a beautiful woman. Having sex with a minor.
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Having sex with a minor, it looked like. Okay. Well, yeah, it's weird, Dan.
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Well, I got myself a beautiful woman, so I'm just going to stay here on an alien
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sort of planet with all these monsters and stuff. Why the hell not?
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You know. Now, well, you didn't take him seriously down on Earth. Well, yeah.
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All right, so listen, listen. The music here is pretty fun. It's comic book-y,
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superhero-esque. Superman.
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It's stolen right from, let's get this out of the way.
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It's composed, the music's composed by Oscar winner Bill Conte,
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who gave us the Rocky theme, you know.
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Dynasty theme and stuff. And, you know, Karate Kid. He does a lot of sports stuff. Yeah.
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And good, you know, rah, rah, rah kind of music.
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But I'm going to tell you right now, if I was, oh, is that, well,
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this is Warner Brothers, isn't it? No, this is. I guess I can get away with it.
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Oh, it's canon. Yeah. But like, were they a subsidiary of Warner Brothers?
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I could be wrong. I could be wrong. Anyways, I would be, if I directed and produced
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Superman, I'd be suing the fuck out of these guys with the score and for the
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opening credits. Yeah. It's exactly like Superman.
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And Supergirl as well. It's blatant. You know, you know the way Supergirl is
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like, I know it's part of the same sort of franchise, but it's like basically
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a Poundland version of Superman.
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Man well this is you get similar vibes here especially with the opening credits
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you know john williams did the superman score didn't they yeah yeah yeah i'm surprised he didn't sue.
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Yeah but sometimes it's a form of flattery and it is bill conti yeah he's well
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respected so exactly if it was some no-name synthesizer guy i'd be a little
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pissed off yeah but like me sitting on my computer in the house or something
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yeah yeah i know what you mean,
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Yeah. Now, ladies, here's the problem. Here's the problem.
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This film is a piece of shit. Let's get this out of the way right now.
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All right, there you go. It's a piece of shit.
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However, you can enjoy pieces of shit. It's entertaining. All right?
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You can have a smile. I had a smile on my face.
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I was never rolling my eyes at it. I was going with it.
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It's innocent fun. Because you know what it is, right? Yeah.
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They're not looking to fucking reinvent the wheel here.
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So I watched it and I had a smile on my face and I was laughing.
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I'll tell you what, these kind of films in the 80s always get passes for me.
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Now, there's some that really suck to the point where I want my fucking money back.
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We've talked about that with like the Turner Samuels lot and Stopping My Mama Shoot.
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You know, those are films where you get angry because you know what?
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Fuck you. I deserve a little better than this.
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This is a tank on cash of fantasy 80s films.
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See these kind of films yeah
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yeah i mean i can see that but these kind
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of films i think he man's right
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up there with other films like crawl yeah and
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flash gordon flash gordon 100% flash gordon vibes i got from this yeah yeah
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definitely you know you had the old matt models and stuff which i still like
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to see even skeleton very similar to merciless i'm not at all gonna insult the The effects,
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I'm not going to insult. No, they're fine.
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The production design is actually quite nice.
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I will insult the acting. I will insult the story. I will insult everything else.
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Gwent lore, would you insult Gwent lore or whatever the fuck you call that, we freak? Yeah.
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Wow, Billy Barty? No, I'm not talking about the actor. I'm talking about the character.
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Billy Barty's a veteran, man. He's class. Yeah, I'm not talking about the actor.
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I'm talking about the annoying little creature that he plays.
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Yeah, the little fucker should have been killed, and the little fucker should not have been in it.
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But see, the best about it, there is a different little fucker in the He-Man
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cartoons, but probably he floats and all, so it would have been too difficult.
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Oh, yeah, he's like a little magician thing. Yeah, it would have been too difficult to realize him.
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So he's a stand-in for him, Gwendalore, whatever you call him.
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A boy is irritating. They were, yeah, this is Billy, this is Billy Barty and
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you were, they were trying to jump on that whole, I don't know.
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Willow or something, I don't know. Little, little people. Yeah.
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Like, you know, they're trying to, like. Willow. No.
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Or something. Like Ewoks and, and Time Bandits and Willow and all these other
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films that were coming out. And I like to see Billy Barty.
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He was the king of the little people who did these kinds of roles.
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Everyone knew who he was And then he had Warwick Davis kind of took on Took
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on the torch, you know, passed the torch To him, and so He was,
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was, I get But he was Very good at what he did,
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but this character's Fucking ridiculous I wanted him dead.
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Yeah, but Yeah, go back, I mean this is total Flash Gordon vibes,
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you know, basically Apart from the fact that Well, no, actually because of Flash
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Gordon I mean even Sam Jones in Flash Gordon Gordon has similarities to Dolph
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Lundgren in this, you know?
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The acting and, you know, the wooden acting, let's be honest about it.
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And, you know, the sort of, the general sort of cheesiness and calmness.
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Langella's great. Do you know, who was it who played Flask Gordon?
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Sam Jones. Yeah, Sam Jones. Yeah, that's who said, yeah. Do you know that's,
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that wasn't his voice in the movie?
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He was dubbed, was he? He was dubbed. I didn't know that, right? He...
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He wanted more money. His agent kind of told him he had to go back.
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You know how you have a new dialogue when he shoots and audio shoots, whatever. Yeah.
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And he wanted more money and he goes, we don't can't afford it. Why are you doing this?
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So they, it was a different actor who did his voice. They got an extra end basically.
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Yeah. I know he does a lot of. Now, I don't know if they re-recorded it and
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the new version years later is him. Don't know.
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But that came from Sam Jones mouth. Right. And he says he regrets that to this
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day because he thinks it hurt his career.
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Yeah, because he probably would
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have got a bit of a bad reputation as a bit of a sort of diva as well.
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When it was maybe down to his agent, I don't know. But apparently he does the
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convention circuit a lot now as well.
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Yeah, he's made a resurgence. He was on Ted for that TV movie.
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I mean, the movie Ted. He was one of the focal points.
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But yeah, you know, good on him. I mean, he's made to his mistakes.
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And I think he's got bad advice. Yeah, yeah.
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That sounds like it, but I would say as well that apparently they were talking
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about dubbing Dolph in this because he had a very, I mean obviously you can
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hear it, a thick Swedish accent.
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But I think they ran out of time, or budget or maybe both, and he just said
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basically we'll just run with Dolph Well he didn't have much to say in it and it worked,
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I mean I can see he, man with an accent, no no, yeah the accent works,
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but Dolph Lundgren was never a good actor, he looks the part,
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he's not like Like, to me, Schwarzenegger is a good actor.
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You don't agree with that, but I do. I think he's a good actor.
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I never once said that. But you did say that.
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You say it all the time when we talk Arnold. I think he's a better. All the time.
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You like him, but you don't think he's a good actor. You said that.
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Stop. Well, he's not. I mean, he's not.
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No, no, no. I can't believe you're teasing. He's not Frank Langella.
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You just talked about him in The Terminator.
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He's not Frank Langella. Oh, man. When I talk to Arnie tonight about this one,
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he's not going to be happy.
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He's going to terminate me. No, I mean, he's all right. I mean,
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he's got a great presence and charisma.
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Okay, we're not going to go back in this camp because you say this.
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Okay, this is. He's a better actor than Dolph.
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A tree stone is a better actor than Dolph.
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But Dolph has a presence on screen. He has a likability instantly.
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Yeah. We talked about this with Universal Soldier quite a few years ago where,
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I mean, man's a genius in real life.
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Yes, he's also a degree, a master's degree.
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Yeah, and so he's, you know, it is what it is.
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And he doesn't do fucking Shakespeare in the park, which I'd love to see,
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but he plays to what he can do, and he knows that.
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He doesn't try to reinvent himself.
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He just, you know. On the subject of Shakespeare, Frank Langella plays Skeletor
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as a Shakespearean villain.
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In fact, he directly quotes Shakespeare in some of his dialogue.
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He was allowed to write some of his own dialogue for this. And he's great.
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He's a pantomime villain, of course.
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And he calms it up big time. But he's the most memorable out of this.
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Yeah, even for the 80s, I enjoyed the makeup. I thought the effects were kind
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of neat. Yes, the mask. The makeup effects.
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Actually, I think most of the makeup, besides Gwildor, I thought it was annoying
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because I just hate the character.
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Yeah, he was. I just want to kick a little fucker that of acid did you recognize
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the actress who plays Evelyn.
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Yeah, it's Meg Foster. Yeah, yeah. We were talking about her recently, and she's in They Live.
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Yeah, she got by with her eyes. Her eyes got her these roles.
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She always played villains because of it. I do like how Skeletor has the sorceress kidnapped.
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Yeah. And he keeps asking her. She's pretty much the mirror mirror on the wall.
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She has a character, if I remember rightly, the sorceress has a character, but she's like young.
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Well i suppose she's only like skeleton makes her go
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old in this and then she's young again at the
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end but yeah sorceress as far
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as i'm aware is a character in the cartoon and you
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know the comic books and stuff and there are some characters missing here which
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sort of niggled me a tiny bit but would have the more hardcore fans would have
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been annoyed at especially at the time like battle cat but i mean they would
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have to like i don't know there was no real cgi then so they They wouldn't have
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been able to, like, I don't know, get a tiger dressed.
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No, they couldn't do that. If this movie did well, it didn't.
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But if it did well, a sequel would have got bigger budget.
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They could have played around with that. She roused Missing the Whale.
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You're about six years away from Jurassic Park. You could not have got a tiger on set.
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So they have this cosmic key that Billy Barty has with Gwildor,
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right? And there's Cosmic Key,
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let's go around the universe and stuff like that. Around space and time.
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So, but Skeletor needs both keys? Because he has one, right? Yeah.
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Yes, yeah. As far as more, there are two here. There's two of them. Yes, there is.
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Okay. Gwendalore invented them. Gwendalore is an inventor and Skeletor forced him to invent them.
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Because Skeletor wants to conquer the universe, the galaxy. Yeah,
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I know that. Yeah. Because he's evil. Yeah, whatever.
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Yeah, so a fight breaks out and they escape to Earth. Yes. Yeah.
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I almost think, because the only, God love them, they only had the one set.
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As a pump up their car. For Skeletor. Yes. Yeah.
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And then they had the towns. They had two sets, which is fine.
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I'll go with it. Yeah. But they couldn't do much. I was going to say,
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well, I would like to see more on Eternia. Is that it? Yeah, Eternia.
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And I'd rather see more on that planet, but God love them. They only had the one set.
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It's the same set every time we go back. With Eternia, the outdoor scenes,
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it's basically just obviously the Californian desert. You know what I mean?
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Yeah, they put some red lens or something in front of the camera.
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Oh, look. Yeah, alien planet. It's the red moon. It's Eternia.
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Fuck. What did you think of Tila and Man at Arms?
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Terrible. I don't like putting down Jessie Fields, but she's always been a bad
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actress. She looks good.
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But yeah. Did her and Evil Lynn switch outfits?
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They almost have the same outfits. They're like basically the mirror to each
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other type thing, you know.
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Speaking of Evil Lynn as well, Meg Foster, going back to the Shakespearean thing,
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Meg Foster played her role as evil lynn as a basically lady macbeth you know
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because she's in love with skeletor but then at the end of it she eventually
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realizes that he's not interested in her so she basically fucks off with the
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rest of the mercenaries you know those other ugly bastards,
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you know like i guess i guess he just he wasn't willing to bone her yeah i actually
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like that one yeah yeah that's actually quite a good one yeah it was a good
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one yeah i didn't think Chelsea Fields, I know her.
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She's been married to Sam Bakula for years. Scott Bakula. Yes.
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Yep. From Quantum Leap on Star Trek.
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Yeah. And Lord of Illusions. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
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Yeah. And then you had a doofus man in arms played by John Cipher.
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He's just a veteran actor.
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He looks like a veteran. Yeah.
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The acting here is terrible. Frank Ligella gets away with it because.
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He's capping her up. He's playing it, you know, the way he's playing it.
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But it's Frank Ligella. He gets the fun role because he's in the makeup.
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Yeah. And when you put makeup on something, you're going to go for,
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you're going to fucking ham it up and have a good time where the other actors
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have to look like dipshits in these terrible costumes.
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And trust me, they do look like dipshits.
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They look. And then you got, he sends out, uh, when they get to fucking earth,
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Skeletor has to send out his, his, his hit men. Yes. The mercenaries,
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their mercenaries. Yeah.
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Yeah. Beastman, Blade, Sarag and Karg. I really liked the lizard boy,
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you know, and And he gets fucked off. That's the wrong. Yeah.
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He gets killed right away. He's
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really good. Actually, a great villain and really great makeup. You know?
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He's the one. And Beastman's terrible makeup. He's got the same grin.
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He can't move his mouth. It's a mask.
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But the lizard boy is genuinely a great character.
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And, you know, very well realized with the makeup, you know,
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with the throat sort of, you know, bulging and stuff.
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That was Blade.
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Wasn't it? No, no, Blade's the one with the blades. You know?
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Oh yeah he's the terrible one with all these little fucking the bald head the
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eye patch the part of patch yeah yeah sarag is and he's got the weird helmet
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yes uh-huh and what about the who's the one that looks like a wee sort of like
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a like a witch with a long hair,
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what there's nobody there's no oh you mean car yes the white hair yes yes yes
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yeah that's who i'm talking about the smaller one oh fucking annoying he was
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fucking annoying finder this This way, you go here.
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Yeah. If I was Blade or Beastman or Chirag, I would have fucking chucked that
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fucker in the fire real quick.
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It looks a bit like Zelda from Terrorhawks, which was an old sort of Gerry Anderson
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puppet series from back sort of 60s and 70s.
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But yeah, yeah, pretty annoying.
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So we meet Kevin and Julie, and he's a musician, a high school musician.
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And annoying? Yeah, terrible.
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He had a big career in Star Trek. I was just going to say, Robert Duncan MacNeil,
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he was Paris in Star Trek Voyager.
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I care less. Courtney Cox, whatever happened to Courtney Cox? Yeah, yeah.
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Well, you know. She's not great here? Yeah, so her parents are dead. Yes.
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Oh, it's so funny. When she goes...
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My parents were killed in a plane crash. Yeah. And it's my fault.
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It's like, what? Yeah. Were you the pilot? No, it was because our dad's a pilot,
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and I think she was, like, looking for him to go somewhere or something,
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the plane, you know, as you do.
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But the crash, I shouldn't be laughing, but it's just the way it's played out.
23:04
It's like basically some sort of daytime soap opera sort of plot line.
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It's stupid. How are you going to get up with? Because you're still a high school
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girl. Well, they were going to drive to the beach.
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And his private plane. And then she didn't want to go. She wanted to go fuck her boyfriend.
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Yes, that's right. And then he, the parents decided to take their plane. They went.
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You know, for their parents to own a plane, they got a pretty shitty house.
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I mean, I don't know what kind of plane they had. Clearly, it sucked because it crashed.
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Yeah, I mean, he made it himself. Like a DIY. I don't know.
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But who does she live with then? Because there's no, it's just like her parents
23:41
are dead. so she just, like, lives on her own or something? I don't know.
23:45
Because she's technically a high school kid still.
23:48
That's right. Who was she living with? Never explained. But then,
23:51
no, she was going to, like, fuck off, basically, and live with somebody or go and work somewhere.
23:56
She worked in the diner. She was going to go to New York or something.
24:00
Yeah, to join the cast of Friends with Jennifer Aniston and Matthew Perry and
24:05
the gang and Joey Tribbiani.
24:07
But, yeah, she was going to go somewhere, And that's why she was breaking up
24:10
with Tom Paris from Star Trek.
24:13
Heaven. Yeah, yeah. Come on, man. Get the name. Yeah.
24:17
You know the movie's bad when we're actually giving the names of other characters
24:22
better than they played. Well, Strickland.
24:23
I just call him Strickland. You know, James Tolkien as the cop on this.
24:28
He's actually quite good.
24:29
But he's always sort of good playing those sort of secondary characters. Okay, quite good.
24:33
I mean, you really... Come on. Well, he's doing his best with what he's got.
24:37
But yes, so basically... people are fucking idiots oh no
24:40
they're all like there's not i mean to
24:43
be fair to skeletor or i'd say they're skeletor or
24:45
evil and later on in the film they say something like this um this primitive
24:49
planet it might even be gwendalore this primitive planet full of like neanderthals
24:54
or something like words to that effect and you're like sort of sitting there
24:57
going yeah i agree with you you know i'm on your side here you know i love i
25:01
love when they find the the the cosmic key oh you Do you remember when they land?
25:05
Yes. And He-Man goes to the other dipshits. Yes. Yeah. All right.
25:10
We're going to split up. That's right.
25:12
All right. And we'll use a call sign or we'll meet up, whatever. Yeah.
25:19
Within 30 seconds, the three dipshits outside of He-Man, they end up in a bush
25:26
outside of a restaurant or a school or something like that. Yes.
25:32
You have this whole town you have to explore. Yeah. And you three end up in
25:36
the same location within a half a second. Yeah.
25:39
Fucking geniuses. But also, the reason Man of Arms wanted to be there is because he was hungry.
25:45
So he was eating the ribs from the diner that Courtney Courtney Cox cooked,
25:50
so he was chomping on the ribs, but then Taylor was disgusted because there
25:53
must be vegetarians and attorneys as well. Yeah, but they got that.
25:57
No, but no, no, no. They got that, though.
26:00
That was just coincidence that that happened.
26:02
Them showing up at that exact same spot, well, is... A bit of a plot convenience,
26:07
but it's not the only one here, poopy fur.
26:09
Well, that's not to be, I mean, it's, it's... Yeah.
26:13
You can get away with it called plot conveniences, but that was...
26:15
And then they're eating it.
26:16
Oh, my God, this is animal. animal this is oh this one's
26:19
this is out of phase yeah so i guess they're all
26:22
vegans yeah well there must be an attorney yeah yeah don't
26:26
know what don't know about wendler who knows do you know i think he was eating
26:30
some of it so he was who knows what how the fuck do they think that's a synthesizer
26:37
when they find the fucking cosmic key what a bunch of stupid bastards stupid
26:42
fucking Fucking heel boobies.
26:44
Fucking idiots. And it's got like a sort of bit of a mullet as well. But yeah, yeah.
26:48
It's like, you know, the Kevin character has a mullet, not Courtney Cox.
26:52
She actually looks great.
26:53
You know, that was really sort of whenever she was breaking through.
26:56
She also, around this time, sort of made a breakthrough in a Bruce Springsteen video. So she did.
27:02
But then sort of decrescent. That was a couple of years earlier.
27:07
She was hired for that. Yeah. But she made it big because of family ties with Michael J. Fox. Yeah.
27:14
That was the show that put her on the map. Yeah. And then, yeah,
27:17
she got all these roles and rest snowballed from there.
27:19
Speaking of Michael J. Fox, there's a certain sort of back to the future feel about this.
27:23
And I'm not just talking about James Tolkien, but there's, it just,
27:27
it feels like it was inspired in sort of ways.
27:32
I mean, the ending is straight from back to the future.
27:35
You know, when she wakes up. Oh, when she wakes up. Yeah. And her parents are
27:38
like, back. Yeah. They're not dead. Yeah. You know? Yeah.
27:43
Maybe. Yeah, I don't know. It's stolen from everything else.
27:45
Apparently some of the sound effects of the cosmic key, you know,
27:49
whenever it's like opening the portals or whatever to go to different sort of
27:52
like times and sort of planets.
27:54
And that's the same special effect sound effect that's used for the DeLorean
27:58
car in Back to the Future.
28:01
Oh. There you go. You know.
28:04
Well, you might as well steal from good movies.
28:08
Yeah. Yeah, so you have the first big battle scene when they're at the gym.
28:13
He leaves her for a minute and. Yes.
28:16
Courtney Cox is being attacked.
28:19
I do like the gym coach gets his ass kicked. Yes. And there's blood.
28:23
I know they're trying to, you know, we were too much violence.
28:26
It's gotta be robot deaths, but Beastman's always bleeding.
28:30
Probably because he can't close his mouth and he's biting his lip.
28:34
But, but yeah, there's some peril kind of, you know, so, but anyways,
28:40
I do love that he got these i'm gonna send these fucking great
28:42
mercenaries yeah and usually ends up shooting
28:45
one of them yeah they're absolutely useless tell me
28:48
this what's the deal with the time travel sort
28:51
of cameras to have whenever they can just like look i point it at a certain
28:56
like like it's like an entry or the street where they were fighting them and
29:00
they're able to see what happened like half an hour ago or something that's
29:03
a bit weird and a bit sort of a bit throwaway and that it's just like used once
29:08
and it's never referred to ever again. Again, another product convenience.
29:12
I got a problem with Julie Goes Missing. Yes.
29:17
And the detective. Strickland. And Kevin are worried about where she is. Yeah.
29:22
Strickland kind of thinks it's, uh, now you've got to be fucking serious.
29:26
The detective takes him, Kevin, to his house and they start having chicken.
29:33
Yes. They put it in the microwave and the microwave wave blows up because Skeletor
29:37
in Eternia is trying to trace the cosmic key so he traces it.
29:42
That's what it is. They're getting interference. The microwave is causing interference
29:45
with Skeletor's signals to track the cosmic key so Skeletor...
29:50
A fucking one microwave.
29:52
So Skeletor says, well, fuck you microwave and they blow the shit out of it.
29:57
That's what happened? I'm struggling to check it.
30:01
I will say this, to get anything out of the movie is that I really craved a
30:05
nice Lazy Boy recliner, a Pepsi or a Burger King. There was a lot of product placement here. Yeah.
30:13
Yeah. Fuck me. Yeah. It was not short on that.
30:16
Definitely. I was waiting for him to go, I have the power and a Whopper. To eat Burger King.
30:24
Yeah. Yeah. I mean, this whole thing is essentially a toy advertisement anyway
30:28
for Mattel, but throw in a load more product placement than yeah.
30:34
When He-Man is on those little scooters. That reminded me of Highlander 2. It's clearly a doll.
30:41
Oh yeah. I thought it was kind of cool. I was with it.
30:45
It reminded me of the old Ray Harry Allison Clash of the Titans kind of stuff.
30:50
The problem is the choreography of that and other fight scenes like later on.
30:55
I mean I remember you slagging off Highlander for having poor choreography.
31:00
Oh it's It's terrible. Here it is.
31:03
There's no real... You don't really feel involved in it. There's no real sort
31:08
of excitement or tension or whatever.
31:11
But the stuff with the hoverboards, and I know Highlander 2 came after this,
31:15
but it just put me in mind straight away of Highlander 2.
31:19
That's another classic piece of shit. What the fuck is the scene with that little
31:24
fucker Gwyllandor is in drag?
31:27
Yeah, he's the comedy fucking alien guy.
31:30
He needed to be gone Yeah he needed to be shot through the head You know Multiple
31:37
times By Steven Seagal or something Yeah.
31:42
I hated that little fucker. Yeah, it was like a thing in the 80s where you would
31:46
have had the comedy sort of fantasy creature, but there were always little guys,
31:52
or dwarves, or midgets, or whatever.
31:54
I don't even know what they call them these days. But yeah, the little guys
31:58
would have had like a comedy sort of sidekick type thing in a lot of these fantasy films.
32:02
He was that, you know, and boy, he is pretty irritating to say the least.
32:07
Imagine if you met someone like that in real life.
32:13
Fucking kill him i i'd call
32:16
area 51 hey guys i
32:19
got something for you i'd sign myself into the nearest sort
32:22
of mental health hospital because yeah
32:26
that's something you see every day there's very powerful
32:29
scene it really really worked
32:33
with me right and i'm sorry again soaked up My apologies Yeah it's pretty It's
32:43
really tough to talk about Because I know Julie And she sold me On her loss for her family,
32:51
But when Evil Lynn Uses that against her
32:55
To become Julie's mom To fool her
32:58
That was very emotional Oh yeah
33:01
yeah I mean it was heartbreaking Stuff especially when you
33:03
find out it's actually Evil Lynn You know what I mean because i mean i was totally
33:07
good you know this again it highlights the complete stupidity of all of the
33:11
characters the the earthbound characters here you know you know it was mom mom
33:17
so she goes and steals the cosmic key of what do you call it tom paris and strickland.
33:24
But then it's evil then so oh my god you think this movie can get any bad you know i'm making
33:32
fun of it but you know what i'll tell you what it's entertaining this movie
33:35
doesn't stop yeah there's not a dull moment there's
33:39
stuff you're laughing at it because it's terrible but it's not
33:42
insulting very fast moving that makes it it's silly yeah
33:45
it doesn't but but but entertaining harmless innocent
33:48
fun i would say so they need to get the right notes for the yeah to send them
33:55
back cosmic key back up yeah to send them back and so dipshit kevin's like I'm
34:01
just a stupid keyboard player in a high school band. And I'm like, yep.
34:06
Gwendoor says, no, no, there is only one of you.
34:11
You know what I mean? You can do it. I know. We got that He-Man special moment. Yeah, yeah.
34:17
It was, you know, inspiring stuff, you know. He goes.
34:21
You're more special than that.
34:25
And I'm like, okay. So he's got a hum. He remembers the hummings.
34:32
Complete plot convenience again. Oh my God.
34:34
Yeah. It was just like a piece of music he had heard, a slight melody he had heard a couple of times.
34:39
It was all this craziness going on, but he's the only one that can remember it.
34:42
And bear in mind, he's an absolute dipshit at the best times anyway, but he can remember it.
34:48
And let me get this straight. I don't know how big this town is,
34:51
but it looks pretty small. There's no extras here? Where are all the cops?
34:54
Now, here's what I don't get.
34:56
So you've got the detective. This is one of the reasons he stays in Eternia,
35:00
is because nobody respects him.
35:02
But he's telling all these cops, guys, we're being attacked,
35:04
blah, blah. The cops are like, oh, you're lying.
35:07
Well, have you been to town? It's fucking destroyed.
35:10
I was like, how do you guys not see what's happening here?
35:15
Well, it appears. Where's the sheriff's office? Well, not only that.
35:18
And it appears that basically Julian, Kevin, and Strickland are the only residents in the town.
35:24
Because there's no extras. There's no, like, collateral damage here.
35:27
There's no, like, apart from that other dipshit who works in the record store, Kevin's mate.
35:32
You got the coach. Yeah. Well, yeah, but he gets sort of bumped off pretty early.
35:38
But, yeah, I mean, this is a very small town in terms of population.
35:41
Let's just say nobody seems to notice this complete carnage.
35:45
Where's the news reporters? orders wars like this sort of you
35:48
know the the the late night sort of
35:51
fast food restaurants or whatever there's basically
35:54
there's there's no extras they couldn't must not be able to afford extras well
35:58
how can they afford extras but we got fucking 3 000 robots he's about to kill
36:02
them they're fucking i mean it's just i don't know i don't know i and i the
36:07
director all the directors go okay cut all right fuckers throw off the robot
36:11
outfits and go stand in a park or something yeah Yeah, yeah.
36:14
Give us something. Doubled up, yeah.
36:17
Yeah, so it's a very, yeah, nobody seems to notice. Maybe they were all in bed sleeping, who knows?
36:23
So when they get back to Eternia. Yes.
36:28
I do like the part when they're all in one little corner of the town,
36:33
and when they get sucked back to Eternia, they actually bring back part of the corridor of that town.
36:40
Half the car. Part of the car and the wall.
36:42
I like that. Well, that was all right. I kind of like that. It was a quick week
36:44
sort of quirk, yeah. Yeah, but then you got fucking Glamrock Skeletor we're about to get here.
36:52
What the fuck? Yeah, when he becomes like a god.
36:54
So he does after he has like, and He-Man's enslaved and he's getting whipped
36:59
by a sort of laser whip or something. Who knows?
37:03
And by blade.
37:05
And then, yeah, and then there's a big fight.
37:10
And yeah, so Glamrock Skeletor. And then, of course, he gets the sword back
37:16
very easily, by the way, He-Man. Yes, yep.
37:18
And he goes, I have the power.
37:22
Yep. I turned it just like him. I actually thought that was He-Man for a split
37:25
second. I thought that was actually He-Man. Like, yeah.
37:28
Yep. I was going to be the voice double for Dolph.
37:34
So, yeah. So he chucks him like the Emperor in Return of the Jedi and chucks
37:40
him over the little thing. Chucks him down the bottle. bottomless pit. Yeah.
37:45
That's right, the fight scenes were fun. I mean, nothing big,
37:47
nothing great. I mean, these swords were so fucking huge, how the fuck are they
37:51
actually supposed to hold these things?
37:52
Apparently Dolph did all his own stunts here.
37:56
Well, no offense. I love how people say they do.
37:59
Yeah, it's not like, oh my God, he ran up those skips by himself?
38:04
He wasn't doing it to Tom Cruise, like, but...
38:06
Yeah, I mean, come on. You say that about Tom Cruise, like,
38:10
fuck, Yeah I hear ya You say this about he man What do you do He ran a half
38:16
block I don't know I just ran up the With scissors Maybe he was really flat
38:21
on those hoverboards Earlier on in the film I mentioned that earlier It's literally
38:28
just a figurine Yeah exactly,
38:31
It's awesome Yeah.
38:34
Oh my god,
38:37
I love the fact. So Julie and Kevin have to go back home. Yes.
38:43
But remember this. I know what you're going to say. Strickland.
38:47
Don't say, don't say goodbye.
38:50
Say good journey.
38:53
Very powerful. Yeah. Oh, no, that was emotional. It ends. You know,
38:57
it just hit me right there in the heart. So then good journey.
39:01
That's powerful. That's a powerful message.
39:03
Don't say goodbye. Say good journey. and
39:07
then as they do that powerful message yeah you have
39:10
detective lubick with a minor he
39:13
decides to stay and sleep with this young princess i
39:16
still think she was a minor but here she wasn't kicking the ass she was
39:19
a man and very creepy yeah it's a weird scene
39:22
it's a weird scene just sort of she horned in at the end there i
39:25
don't use a minor but like she was maybe in her early 20s and
39:28
he's like clearly in his 60s or something yeah i
39:32
mean this is fucking creepy that's weird all right this is
39:36
really this is like something dicaprio would do and
39:39
see what dicaprio he dates 19 year olds that's
39:42
right yeah that's what he said yeah and so this
39:45
is kind of his thing he's kind of dicaprio of the group well well
39:48
i mean he's not quite as good looking as dicaprio i would
39:51
say it's not only that he he's
39:54
obviously along with gwendalore he's obviously meant to
39:57
be a bit of a comedy sidekick as well but he just
39:59
comes i mean obviously james tolkien's doing
40:02
the best he can you know here and he you know he's always memorable but probably
40:07
for all the wrong reasons here but yeah it's weird I love when Julie wakes up
40:14
and her folks are still alive and she goes mom dad mom and dad I want to go to the beach yeah.
40:22
And her and Kevin in break. Yeah. And it's all because of the power of he-man.
40:28
Yeah. But before she does that, she stops him. She grabs, I don't know,
40:32
the fucking key to the plane or something.
40:34
And she goes, I love you. And then they're all, what are you doing,
40:38
honey? What are you doing, honey?
40:39
And she runs out into the street wearing her nightdress.
40:42
And dipshit boyfriend fucking appears. And they embrace. And it's.
40:50
Entertaining nonsense. nonsense it is yeah pure
40:54
80s cheese yeah yeah it's
40:57
bad in so many ways but
41:01
that's kind of a good thing yeah yeah because i
41:03
mean i i almost think if they took this seriously we'd have a problem
41:06
oh yeah totally yeah yeah i mean
41:09
it's it's a toy advert and you know yes it's
41:13
80s sort of commercialism but you know what i remember
41:16
again this is one of the many films i
41:19
watched on video back then i remember finding it
41:22
really entertaining back then yes you can see the
41:26
flaws much more as an adult looking back on it but you
41:29
know what yes there's a bit of nostalgia there as well but yeah it's harmless
41:33
silliness i like it i like my 80s dolph lundgren yeah he had red scorpion obviously
41:39
rocky floor and yeah and this one and he had universal soldier yeah and then
41:44
he kind of They went direct-to-video kind of route, which is fine. Yeah.
41:47
And the Expendables series. Yes. So it's nice to see him. I like the guy.
41:51
I like him. Yeah. And so there you have it.
41:55
Now, I know they're finally trying to get this movie off the ground for He-Man for years.
42:01
You know, with today's technology, they could really fucking make a good He-Man movie. Yeah.
42:07
Would it be as campy and as memorable as this? Probably not. It'd be interesting.
42:11
Will a 200 million budget powerhouse CGI directed by the guys who gave us a
42:18
Captain America and all out cast, you fucking give us Chris Hemsworth as E-Man, whatever.
42:25
Would it, it'd be interesting to say, you know what? I kind of like the Arizona better. Yeah.
42:30
It'd be interesting to see if all that money and all that talent.
42:35
Combined magic. Magic can really actually top this. Exactly.
42:38
Because there's a, you just never know.
42:41
This has a certain magic to it, even though it's probably unintentional,
42:44
certainly unintentional at the time.
42:45
Well, I mean, they were obviously aiming to, you know, be popular and stuff,
42:49
but now it's become more of a sort of cult hit, which they probably weren't aiming for back then.
42:55
Yeah, no film was. Yeah. No film does that. Exactly.
42:59
But, yeah, all right, there you go. So we'll be back with fucking Street Fighter, Jesus.
43:09
But before that, we're going to take, there's a new horror film out that I was
43:14
given the opportunity to see.
43:16
And I would like to put this on the podcast just to give it a little shout and make people aware of it.
43:24
But it's actually doing quite well and people are being made aware of it.
43:27
A lot of people are enjoying the concept of it.
43:31
And in a violent nature the point of view through the killer so we'll be talking
43:37
about that one next week that's all I have we're going to wrap this one up 45
43:42
minutes talking about fucking He-Man,
43:45
Gwendalore yeah I'm the gang yeah fucking alright guys give us a shout out see
43:53
us at frame underscore podcast on Instagram and of course Facebook and that's
43:57
all we have we're going to wrap this one up.
43:59
Music.