Latest / The Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous Podcast / Men Are Turned OFF By This...WTF?!

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Men Are Turned OFF By This...WTF?! · The Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous Podcast

• 0:03
  Speaker 1: Hey, everybody.
• 0:19
  Speaker 2: It's I Do Part 2. Your celebrity mentor, Bob Guinea, here.
• 0:22
  Speaker 2: And I am joined by my good friend, Mr.
• 0:24
  Speaker 3: Right, for another episode where we're just going.
• 0:27
  Speaker 2: To tell it like it is. Apparently, people like that. Now,
• 0:30
  Speaker 2: our producer has a recent TikTok. that she saw that
• 0:34
  Speaker 2: she liked to get her feedback on. We have not
• 0:35
  Speaker 2: heard this yet, but how are you doing Mr. Wright
• 0:38
  Speaker 2: before we get started? Uh, how's everything going?
• 0:40
  Speaker 4: Going very good.
• 0:41
  Speaker 5: And again, I had to disclose the fact that I
• 0:43
  Speaker 5: don't actually have Tik TOK, which apparently is not very cool, but, uh,
• 0:48
  Speaker 5: I don't have the Tik TOK. So that's why I
• 0:51
  Speaker 5: couldn't be prepared ahead of time for this particular segment.
• 0:54
  Speaker 5: So I apologize for my lack of preparedness.
• 0:58
  Speaker 3: Well, I am right there with you, Mr.
• 0:59
  Speaker 1: Wright.
• 0:59
  Speaker 3: I think it must be an, uh, an age band thing.
• 1:03
  Speaker 2: Cause I too do not have the tick tock, but, um,
• 1:07
  Speaker 2: I didn't actually listen to anything ahead of time.
• 1:09
  Speaker 3: I know you didn't either.
• 1:09
  Speaker 2: We wanted to kind of be surprised with this thing and,
• 1:12
  Speaker 2: and give our natural guttural reaction to it.
• 1:15
  Speaker 3: So let's roll tape producer.
• 1:17
  Speaker 1: Okay.
• 1:17
  Speaker 6: This is going to be a dating tip for the
• 1:18
  Speaker 6: ladies and it is not going to make sense. So
• 1:22
  Speaker 6: just please hear me out for a second. Some of
• 1:25
  Speaker 6: the pictures that you have on your dating app of
• 1:28
  Speaker 6: your successes, not the inappropriate ones, about your accomplishments that
• 1:33
  Speaker 6: show you how driven you are and how dedicated you
• 1:36
  Speaker 6: are and everything that you've accomplished for your career and everything.
• 1:42
  Speaker 3: We don't like those pictures.
• 1:44
  Speaker 7: They get us butt.
• 1:46
  Speaker 3: Hurt, more or less.
• 1:48
  Speaker 6: It comes with a level of preconceived ideas on our part,
• 1:53
  Speaker 6: not on yours, on our part, that certain expectations are
• 1:57
  Speaker 6: with that type of person. And what happens is, is
• 2:00
  Speaker 6: that we don't even give you a chance. You may
• 2:02
  Speaker 6: not be that person in any way, shape or form,
• 2:05
  Speaker 6: but we're not giving you a chance because of our
• 2:07
  Speaker 6: own preconceived ideas of those accomplishments of what type of
• 2:12
  Speaker 6: person that is. So take them down. I'm just kind
• 2:16
  Speaker 6: of passing the message on. You can do what you
• 2:19
  Speaker 6: want with it. Just kind of an inside view from
• 2:22
  Speaker 6: a guy's point of view.
• 2:24
  Speaker 2: All right. So I get irritated sometimes when people speak
• 2:28
  Speaker 2: for me.
• 2:29
  Speaker 3: Like, for example, we don't like that. Well, who the
• 2:32
  Speaker 3: hell is he talking about? Who's we?
• 2:33
  Speaker 2: Does he have like a mouse in his pocket? Who's
• 2:36
  Speaker 2: on board with this we thing?
• 2:38
  Speaker 4: So I'm not actually totally sure that I even know
• 2:40
  Speaker 4: what he's talking about.
• 2:41
  Speaker 2: So he's saying that we, I'm assuming he means all men,
• 2:45
  Speaker 2: that we don't want to see a picture of a
• 2:48
  Speaker 2: woman that we may prospectively want to date doing something
• 2:52
  Speaker 2: outside of just looking hot.
• 2:53
  Speaker 5: So it sounds like he's saying that we're going to
• 2:55
  Speaker 5: get intimidated as men to if we see a woman
• 2:58
  Speaker 5: that's doing something extraordinary and is basically doing something greater
• 3:03
  Speaker 5: than what we think that we could accomplish.
• 3:06
  Speaker 3: Yes.
• 3:07
  Speaker 2: I think he sounds to me like a, I think
• 3:09
  Speaker 2: that's pretty, first of all, like I said, I don't
• 3:12
  Speaker 2: like when anybody speaks for we, the pejorative we, but
• 3:14
  Speaker 2: I also think that this dude, I think is thinking
• 3:18
  Speaker 2: he sounds cool by saying this, but I think it
• 3:20
  Speaker 2: actually makes him sound pretty small.
• 3:22
  Speaker 4: I think so too.
• 3:23
  Speaker 5: I mean, I think it, it obviously there's like a
• 3:25
  Speaker 5: level of insecurity that, that, uh, that he thinks that
• 3:29
  Speaker 5: we all feel that we're easily intimidated when, in fact,
• 3:34
  Speaker 5: I think that that's actually something really cool. And I
• 3:37
  Speaker 5: think that rather than see another picture of someone's legs
• 3:41
  Speaker 5: on the beach, I'd probably like to see the fact
• 3:44
  Speaker 5: if there was a woman that was doing something great
• 3:46
  Speaker 5: in her field of work or getting something in the
• 3:50
  Speaker 5: philanthropic award or something like that.
• 3:51
  Speaker 4: I mean, I think that is way cooler. So I'm probably.
• 3:56
  Speaker 5: weirdly on the totally other end of the spectrum of
• 3:59
  Speaker 5: this and not intimidated but rather impressed.
• 4:02
  Speaker 2: Same i'm exactly right there with you i think i've
• 4:05
  Speaker 2: never actually been i've never had had the chance to
• 4:08
  Speaker 2: do a dating app and i but i would think
• 4:10
  Speaker 2: that if i were to look at pictures of someone
• 4:12
  Speaker 2: on a dating app that i was interested in and
• 4:15
  Speaker 2: the more i swipe the more i feel Like, oh,
• 4:18
  Speaker 2: my God, this person is so accomplished.
• 4:20
  Speaker 3: This is incredible.
• 4:21
  Speaker 2: I need to meet this person. Or maybe I see
• 4:23
  Speaker 2: things that we have in common. Like, I know you've
• 4:25
  Speaker 2: run a marathon. You swipe a thing and you see
• 4:27
  Speaker 2: someone who's also run a marathon. That might be something
• 4:30
  Speaker 2: where you're like, damn, okay, we have mutual interests. Or
• 4:33
  Speaker 2: like you said, a philanthropic event or things of that
• 4:36
  Speaker 2: nature where it's like you're learning more about that person
• 4:40
  Speaker 2: as opposed to just swiping because you think they're hot
• 4:42
  Speaker 2: and they said something funny or witty in their profile.
• 4:45
  Speaker 5: But if you think about like in these sites, I
• 4:47
  Speaker 5: know you haven't been on them, Bob, but like you
• 4:49
  Speaker 5: can imagine that the majority of them are glamour shots.
• 4:52
  Speaker 5: They are the best versions of this person in this moment.
• 4:56
  Speaker 5: And they're not real photos. I mean, at the end
• 4:58
  Speaker 5: of the day, I mean, they're a great photo and
• 5:01
  Speaker 5: there's a thousand of those. But what you're always looking
• 5:03
  Speaker 5: for is a differentiator. And you're looking for, you know,
• 5:07
  Speaker 5: a bio that's interesting. Maybe it's funny. Maybe it has
• 5:09
  Speaker 5: an angle. Maybe it has something that's different about it.
• 5:13
  Speaker 5: And I think to the opposite of what this guy
• 5:16
  Speaker 5: was talking about is that if this woman is accomplished,
• 5:20
  Speaker 5: if she is outstanding in a specific field or like
• 5:23
  Speaker 5: all these different categories, that's a differentiator. That's something that
• 5:27
  Speaker 5: I think stands out way more than another bikini picture,
• 5:30
  Speaker 5: way more than another picture out with the drinking martinis
• 5:33
  Speaker 5: with the girls, way more than those things that we
• 5:36
  Speaker 5: see over and over again. So I fail to even
• 5:41
  Speaker 5: come close to seeing his point or agree.
• 5:44
  Speaker 2: Yeah, this is, he clearly did not read the room
• 5:48
  Speaker 2: when he sent this TikTok because to me.
• 5:51
  Speaker 3: I feel like, um, it actually, I will say this.
• 5:54
  Speaker 2: He says that if the, if you have these pictures
• 5:56
  Speaker 2: on your site, that men are going to judge you,
• 5:59
  Speaker 2: I'm actually judging him. Like in my mind, uh, I'm thinking, wow,
• 6:03
  Speaker 2: this is a dude I have zero in common with. Like,
• 6:05
  Speaker 2: you know, like I actually like seeing people achieve great things.
• 6:09
  Speaker 2: And I think that, especially on an app where everybody
• 6:14
  Speaker 2: is their best version of themselves it's kind of like
• 6:16
  Speaker 2: instagram right like everything on instagram is it's never like
• 6:19
  Speaker 2: today's a shitty day and if it is the person
• 6:21
  Speaker 2: that posts that stuff that's totally not coming into my
• 6:23
  Speaker 2: algorithm anyway but it's like i think that we've.
• 6:26
  Speaker 4: Seen your algorithm bob we know that oh yes yes.
• 6:28
  Speaker 2: That's not coming it's not coming there's a lot of
• 6:29
  Speaker 2: other stuff in there a lot of other weirdness but
• 6:32
  Speaker 2: um I don't think guys talk like that.
• 6:35
  Speaker 3: I really don't. Well, here I'm speaking in generalities as well.
• 6:38
  Speaker 4: Don't be the we, but I can say the we,
• 6:41
  Speaker 4: meaning the two of us, we agree.
• 6:43
  Speaker 3: We absolutely agree.
• 6:44
  Speaker 2: I think the majority of the people we probably surround
• 6:47
  Speaker 2: ourselves with, and I know some of your friends, and
• 6:48
  Speaker 2: I know we have a lot of friends in common,
• 6:51
  Speaker 2: the people we surround ourselves with, for the most part,
• 6:54
  Speaker 2: I would guess wouldn't be impressed by that either.
• 6:58
  Speaker 3: I actually grew up with strong women in my life.
• 7:01
  Speaker 3: I grew up with my sister, my mother, my wife.
• 7:05
  Speaker 2: They're all very strong, very opinionated women, very accomplished in
• 7:09
  Speaker 2: their own ways. And I think that that's always been
• 7:12
  Speaker 2: something that I've thought, like you said, is a differentiator,
• 7:16
  Speaker 2: not only as someone I would want to date or
• 7:18
  Speaker 2: marry or be with, but also someone I just want
• 7:20
  Speaker 2: to surround myself with.
• 7:22
  Speaker 5: I think we have to separate now from diving into
• 7:24
  Speaker 5: this topic of accomplished women and insecure men. There are
• 7:29
  Speaker 5: lots of guys that do get insecure around women who
• 7:34
  Speaker 5: are more powerful, more accomplished, have more money, you know, all,
• 7:38
  Speaker 5: you know, all of those things.
• 7:39
  Speaker 4: I mean, that happens all of the time.
• 7:41
  Speaker 5: And, you know, so I totally agree that there are
• 7:44
  Speaker 5: guys that, you know, have a tough time having a
• 7:47
  Speaker 5: female boss, right. I have a tough time, you know,
• 7:49
  Speaker 5: having to answer to, you know, to, to a woman.
• 7:53
  Speaker 5: And I think that's probably only within the last 25,
• 7:55
  Speaker 5: 30 years where we've seen more stay at home dads,
• 7:58
  Speaker 5: which I think was totally, unheard of, you know, you know,
• 8:02
  Speaker 5: back in like our parents' day. Um, and so I
• 8:05
  Speaker 5: think that, um, you know, it's a little bit of
• 8:07
  Speaker 5: old school thinking, uh, but I think it still happens
• 8:09
  Speaker 5: for sure. I think that, uh, you know, a lot
• 8:11
  Speaker 5: of times you will find guys that feel insecure or
• 8:15
  Speaker 5: they don't want to be outshined by a woman.
• 8:17
  Speaker 3: No, I definitely think there's a lot of that. I mean,
• 8:20
  Speaker 3: still to this day, right.
• 8:22
  Speaker 2: I mean, I, I remember when obviously now I'm going
• 8:25
  Speaker 2: in the total, uh, you know, the, the extreme of this,
• 8:28
  Speaker 2: but I remember as, as I, back in the bachelor
• 8:30
  Speaker 2: days when I got to know Oprah and I remember
• 8:32
  Speaker 2: everyone would always say, you know, Oh, I've heard she's
• 8:36
  Speaker 2: such a, you know, and I'd be like, what are
• 8:37
  Speaker 2: you talking about?
• 8:38
  Speaker 3: Like, she's amazing. You know, she's so nice. She's so kind.
• 8:42
  Speaker 3: She doesn't have to be right.
• 8:44
  Speaker 2: And, um, but I remember also thinking at one point
• 8:46
  Speaker 2: I would always take the angle. I'd be like, well,
• 8:48
  Speaker 2: of course people are going to say that she's a billionaire.
• 8:51
  Speaker 2: It's the first female billionaire. How do you think she
• 8:53
  Speaker 2: got there? By being demanding, by expecting the best in
• 8:56
  Speaker 2: her life, by being someone who overachieved.
• 8:59
  Speaker 3: How is that a negative? But it is interesting. A
• 9:02
  Speaker 3: guy does it. He's a shark. He's a badass. A
• 9:04
  Speaker 3: woman does it. She must be a badass.
• 9:06
  Speaker 1: Right.
• 9:06
  Speaker 3: So I think there's a lot of that. You're right.
• 9:08
  Speaker 3: It's definitely still out there. Definitely still prevalent.
• 9:11
  Speaker 5: I think that, I think that to your point, you
• 9:13
  Speaker 5: find you to a guy that's demanding a guy that's,
• 9:16
  Speaker 5: you know, that's, you know, that's, that's asking a lot
• 9:18
  Speaker 5: of people around them is, you know, and is tough on,
• 9:21
  Speaker 5: you know, on, on employees are tough on family or
• 9:23
  Speaker 5: whatever that those people around them are. If it's a
• 9:25
  Speaker 5: guy it's expected and the guy that it's like, Oh,
• 9:27
  Speaker 5: he's a take charge kind of guy.
• 9:29
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 9:29
  Speaker 7: Yeah.
• 9:30
  Speaker 5: But if it's a woman, a lot of times it's like,
• 9:32
  Speaker 5: Oh my God, what a, you know, what a B like, Oh,
• 9:33
  Speaker 5: I can't believe. And I think that's a double standard.
• 9:36
  Speaker 5: And I think it's, I think hopefully over, you know,
• 9:38
  Speaker 5: that that's going away, but it's certainly this, I think it's,
• 9:42
  Speaker 5: I think it's still prevalent, unfortunately.
• 9:44
  Speaker 2: Well, I wonder, you know, how does a woman win
• 9:46
  Speaker 2: on these sites? Like, honestly, like, you know, I mean,
• 9:50
  Speaker 2: I think of Instagram, right? So I look at Instagram
• 9:53
  Speaker 2: and a woman on Instagram who.
• 9:55
  Speaker 3: It's all about her looks. It's all about her body.
• 9:57
  Speaker 2: It's all about the beach, you know, guys probably in
• 9:59
  Speaker 2: their mind are like, oh, you know, she's probably easy
• 10:02
  Speaker 2: or she's, you know, whatever. If it's all about, you know,
• 10:05
  Speaker 2: or how vapid, how shallow. I mean, it could be
• 10:07
  Speaker 2: any of those things, right? She's only posted pictures of
• 10:09
  Speaker 2: how good she looks. Then if she posts pictures about
• 10:12
  Speaker 2: her accomplishments, now she's considered to be too driven. I
• 10:16
  Speaker 2: mean how does a woman win on this stuff? How
• 10:19
  Speaker 2: do they– I mean for that matter, guys too, right?
• 10:23
  Speaker 2: I mean I find myself– I like to think I'm
• 10:26
  Speaker 2: an open-minded guy, but I'm probably just as judgmental about dudes.
• 10:29
  Speaker 2: posting pictures you know looking great in a beach bod
• 10:32
  Speaker 2: you know I'd be like come on bro have a
• 10:33
  Speaker 2: sandwich you know it's like I mean people can't win
• 10:37
  Speaker 2: I don't think it's even just women I think people
• 10:39
  Speaker 2: just can't win because no matter what they post someone's
• 10:41
  Speaker 2: going to.
• 10:41
  Speaker 5: Judge it yeah I think that I think it is
• 10:44
  Speaker 5: it's a double standard I think it definitely is and
• 10:47
  Speaker 5: I feel like you know women have a have a
• 10:50
  Speaker 5: tough time overcoming that but hopefully like I said hopefully
• 10:54
  Speaker 5: that there's there's we're maturing and we are evolving. And
• 11:00
  Speaker 5: it's not quite as much of a double standard today
• 11:02
  Speaker 5: as it was 50 years ago.
• 11:05
  Speaker 4: But according to.
• 11:07
  Speaker 5: My TikTok buddy over there, he still.
• 11:09
  Speaker 3: Doesn't have a tough time with it.
• 11:11
  Speaker 4: So who knows?
• 11:13
  Speaker 7: Hey, let me ask you this.
• 11:23
  Speaker 2: So if you've got a dating app, What are the
• 11:26
  Speaker 2: qualities that you see that make you swipe the right way?
• 11:31
  Speaker 3: Like, you know, Mr.
• 11:32
  Speaker 2: Right probably swipes right, I would guess. And he only
• 11:34
  Speaker 2: swipes right when things are right, right?
• 11:37
  Speaker 5: So I think that it's like, it's a balance. And
• 11:40
  Speaker 5: I think that like, you know, there's a bio, there's
• 11:42
  Speaker 5: an explanation of who the person is. And you're sort of,
• 11:45
  Speaker 5: in that part, you're kind of looking for somebody that
• 11:47
  Speaker 5: sticks out. Maybe there's a little bit of like humor
• 11:50
  Speaker 5: to it, or there's a little bit of an edge
• 11:53
  Speaker 5: to it.
• 11:54
  Speaker 4: Or a little self-deprecation, I think, is a good quality.
• 11:58
  Speaker 5: And I think that in photos and things like that,
• 12:02
  Speaker 5: you're looking for someone that is obviously like you to
• 12:06
  Speaker 5: a certain degree. But I think that the photos, there's
• 12:10
  Speaker 5: got to be chemistry. I mean, let's boil it down.
• 12:12
  Speaker 5: There's got to be some sort of attraction that happens there.
• 12:16
  Speaker 5: But what rounds it out and what broadens it is,
• 12:19
  Speaker 5: I think, seeing somebody that, again, has all these different
• 12:22
  Speaker 5: kind of levels to it. And if it's six pictures
• 12:25
  Speaker 5: of bikinis, it's like, oh, she looks amazing in a bikini,
• 12:28
  Speaker 5: but I know nothing else about her. I don't know
• 12:30
  Speaker 5: what else there is. So I think seeing some of that,
• 12:34
  Speaker 5: but also seeing what real life looks like, I think
• 12:38
  Speaker 5: is important and I think makes it more real.
• 12:42
  Speaker 3: If real is possible on a daily. Let me ask
• 12:45
  Speaker 3: you this.
• 12:46
  Speaker 2: So as someone who has a family, when you go
• 12:51
  Speaker 2: on and you see someone with, a family, is that
• 12:55
  Speaker 2: appealing to you? Or is that, are you like, oh,
• 12:59
  Speaker 2: I can't deal with somebody else's, you know, issues or whatever?
• 13:03
  Speaker 2: Is it, is it a turn on or a turn off?
• 13:05
  Speaker 2: Or is it just kind of like what all the
• 13:06
  Speaker 2: other factors are more important?
• 13:08
  Speaker 5: No, I think, I think it's just, it's another like
• 13:09
  Speaker 5: level of that person in a, in a snapshot, right?
• 13:12
  Speaker 5: I mean, in a quick snapshot, you want to get
• 13:14
  Speaker 5: the best understanding of who they are as quickly as
• 13:16
  Speaker 5: possible and Again, I'm not going to sugarcoat it. There
• 13:19
  Speaker 5: is attraction and chemistry or whatever that first look is
• 13:23
  Speaker 5: when you see that person and either you're attracted or
• 13:25
  Speaker 5: you're not. But then what adds to that are all
• 13:27
  Speaker 5: the other things that make that person who they are.
• 13:29
  Speaker 5: And it's hard to do. I mean, jeez, to do
• 13:32
  Speaker 5: it in a dating app is very, very difficult. So
• 13:37
  Speaker 5: you're trying to kind of throw as much out there
• 13:40
  Speaker 5: as possible to paint yourself in the best light possible.
• 13:42
  Speaker 5: But I think that as someone looking at it, you
• 13:44
  Speaker 5: want to understand all of those things. Because ultimately, you
• 13:49
  Speaker 5: want to find out who that person is.
• 13:51
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah. So let me ask you this.
• 13:55
  Speaker 2: As a guy who's never been on an app, I
• 13:57
  Speaker 2: am curious. Have you done an app? And if so,
• 14:00
  Speaker 2: what's your bio like? What's your whole portfolio looking like, Mr.
• 14:04
  Speaker 1: Wright?
• 14:04
  Speaker 5: So I've never personally been on an app myself. I mean,
• 14:08
  Speaker 5: I have helped buddies looking at apps for themselves.
• 14:12
  Speaker 4: I don't have a profile. I've never been on one.
• 14:15
  Speaker 5: But I have so many friends that have gone through
• 14:18
  Speaker 5: in their chapter two, and they're really using these apps,
• 14:23
  Speaker 5: and there's a variety of them, and they have different
• 14:25
  Speaker 5: levels of success with different ones. But they've gotten very
• 14:30
  Speaker 5: good looking at them and going through and deciphering what
• 14:34
  Speaker 5: it is that they're looking for. There are a lot
• 14:36
  Speaker 5: of indicators that show that someone that's on there isn't
• 14:39
  Speaker 5: looking for a relationship. And sometimes that's, you know, it
• 14:42
  Speaker 5: says that, but a lot of times there's just ways
• 14:44
  Speaker 5: you can kind of tell that that's not what they're
• 14:46
  Speaker 5: looking for. So I think that the more you're on them,
• 14:50
  Speaker 5: I think the better you get it kind of going
• 14:51
  Speaker 5: through and filtering what it is that you are looking
• 14:55
  Speaker 5: for and what a match might end up being.
• 14:57
  Speaker 7: Right.
• 14:58
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 14:58
  Speaker 3: I mean, I got to imagine it's just like dating.
• 15:01
  Speaker 2: It's just, you're dating virtually to a certain degree before
• 15:06
  Speaker 2: you actually get together with someone. So it's almost like
• 15:07
  Speaker 2: you pre-screen a candidate right before you meet him for
• 15:10
  Speaker 2: coffee or whatever it is.
• 15:12
  Speaker 5: And I actually, I mean, one of my best friends
• 15:14
  Speaker 5: is getting married this March in his second, you know,
• 15:17
  Speaker 5: in his second chapter to a girl that he met
• 15:20
  Speaker 5: on an app. And, and it was, it was, you know,
• 15:24
  Speaker 5: his last first date was when they went off, you know,
• 15:27
  Speaker 5: after their, after their meeting, after they connected on their,
• 15:29
  Speaker 5: on their app.
• 15:30
  Speaker 4: And they had, it was, it's funny.
• 15:32
  Speaker 5: There was these kind of core things that they had
• 15:34
  Speaker 5: in common and, that right away have kind of risen
• 15:38
  Speaker 5: to the top as the most important things for them.
• 15:40
  Speaker 5: And that has been their connective tissue all the way through.
• 15:44
  Speaker 5: And it's their couple of hobbies that they have together.
• 15:49
  Speaker 5: There's an 11-year age gap between them, but it doesn't matter.
• 15:54
  Speaker 5: Those things that she highlighted in her app and her
• 15:58
  Speaker 5: profile and what he was looking for and what he
• 16:00
  Speaker 5: highlighted kind of connected them.
• 16:02
  Speaker 4: And it's still the strongest piece.
• 16:04
  Speaker 2: Well, and that's kind of like this TikTok guy, the
• 16:06
  Speaker 2: guy saying like, you know, the photos of all these
• 16:08
  Speaker 2: accomplishments sets an expectation for the men who are swiping.
• 16:12
  Speaker 3: Well, yeah. And isn't that kind of part of it?
• 16:16
  Speaker 2: Like for your friend, I'm sure some of those expectations
• 16:19
  Speaker 2: or some of those, you know, core common bonds were
• 16:22
  Speaker 2: formed over the things that he was seeing on the
• 16:24
  Speaker 2: app that were of interest of her.
• 16:25
  Speaker 3: And he was probably triggered by that. Like, all right,
• 16:28
  Speaker 3: you know what?
• 16:28
  Speaker 2: I'll swipe and see if we have an attraction because
• 16:30
  Speaker 2: we seem to both like marathons or we seem to
• 16:32
  Speaker 2: both like you know, doing charity work, or we seem
• 16:35
  Speaker 2: to both like kids or we both seem to both
• 16:37
  Speaker 2: like dogs.
• 16:38
  Speaker 5: But I think that this guy was talking about, you know,
• 16:40
  Speaker 5: you're going to be sitting, you know, in the audience
• 16:42
  Speaker 5: while this other person is on stage and, you know, they're,
• 16:46
  Speaker 5: you know, the, you know, playing second fiddle to somebody else. And,
• 16:50
  Speaker 5: you know, Chris Rock had this great quote in, in
• 16:53
  Speaker 5: his standup and he was talking about a relationship and
• 16:56
  Speaker 5: he was talking about, you know, a relationship is like
• 16:59
  Speaker 5: being in a band. And sometimes you have, you have
• 17:01
  Speaker 5: a lead singer and, And you have a tambourine player.
• 17:06
  Speaker 5: So if you're singing Seeing Your Heart Out, if you're
• 17:08
  Speaker 5: playing the tambourine though, play that tambourine. Play your ass
• 17:12
  Speaker 5: off with that tambourine. Nobody wants to be watching a
• 17:15
  Speaker 5: pissed off tambourine player.
• 17:16
  Speaker 4: So there's different roles.
• 17:19
  Speaker 5: And I think that this guy's worried that he's going
• 17:20
  Speaker 5: to be the pissed off tambourine player.
• 17:22
  Speaker 3: Pissed off tambourine player.
• 17:23
  Speaker 5: Yeah. Because you don't always get to be center stage
• 17:27
  Speaker 5: in a relationship. And if that's an issue for you
• 17:32
  Speaker 5: out of the gate, you're going to have a tough
• 17:33
  Speaker 5: time finding somebody that wants to spend their entire life
• 17:37
  Speaker 5: playing tambourine.
• 17:38
  Speaker 3: Amen.
• 17:39
  Speaker 4: Get the center stage.
• 17:40
  Speaker 3: No, I get it, man. I get it. That is
• 17:42
  Speaker 3: so true.
• 17:43
  Speaker 7: Yeah.
• 17:43
  Speaker 2: It's, it's definitely complicated when you start thinking about it
• 17:46
  Speaker 2: that way.
• 17:46
  Speaker 3: Cause it is true, right?
• 17:47
  Speaker 2: You've even the person who's used to being the lead
• 17:50
  Speaker 2: singer once in a while has to let the guitar
• 17:53
  Speaker 2: solo go.
• 17:54
  Speaker 3: No, totally.
• 17:54
  Speaker 4: And that's what makes a relationship.
• 17:56
  Speaker 5: You know, it's that, it's that, you know, it's that
• 17:58
  Speaker 5: balance and you know, the, the idea that you're willing
• 18:01
  Speaker 5: to share the spotlight and willing to share the, the,
• 18:04
  Speaker 5: you know, the, the stage I think is important. And, um, Yeah,
• 18:08
  Speaker 5: I think that this guy that is worried about what
• 18:13
  Speaker 5: life might look like if he's not the one being celebrated.
• 18:18
  Speaker 4: Or maybe it's just that he's worried.
• 18:20
  Speaker 5: About living a life that has too much expectation, that
• 18:24
  Speaker 5: has too much challenge, that has too much go, go, go.
• 18:27
  Speaker 4: And not enough sitting around and letting life happen.
• 18:31
  Speaker 5: We're really ripping on this poor guy. Golly, you can
• 18:34
  Speaker 5: still send your TikToks. We won't do this to everybody.
• 18:36
  Speaker 3: This just won't happen.
• 18:39
  Speaker 2: All right, Mr.
• 18:39
  Speaker 3: Wright, I'm going to pause this right there.
• 18:40
  Speaker 2: We are just scratching the surface of some great stuff,
• 18:43
  Speaker 2: just getting into the nitty gritty.
• 18:45
  Speaker 3: So we're going to take a quick break. And when
• 18:46
  Speaker 3: we return, we are going to be back with more.
• 18:48
  Speaker 3: I do part two.