Latest / All Figured Out with Andrea Barr: Figuring Out Work, Life and Parenting / 140. She froze her eggs at 37 to give herself a choice — Kristin Constable

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140. She froze her eggs at 37 to give herself a choice — Kristin Constable · All Figured Out with Andrea Barr: Figuring Out Work, Life and Parenting

• 0:00
  Christine Constable and welcome to the All Figured Out podcast.
• 0:05
  Thanks for coming on. Thank you for having me.
• 0:08
  It's so fun to be here. And just like, yeah, this is
• 0:11
  going to be just a really cool conversation because I know you
• 0:15
  just have this ability to extract the best parts of
• 0:19
  people's stories, so. Thank you.
• 0:20
  I think we have that in common. Like extraction is such a funny
• 0:23
  word actually. I love that works.
• 0:25
  I love a good pimple pop. But like extracting is what?
• 0:29
  That's what like something I've really learned from you and
• 0:33
  learning from you also. We'll get into our story Like
• 0:36
  what you want to be extracting in?
• 0:38
  Life, yeah. Like that's such a huge piece of
• 0:40
  it. This is all figured out.
• 0:47
  I'm Andrea Barr. I'm a career coach for parents,
• 0:49
  a mom of two, and I absolutely believe that you can continue to
• 0:53
  grow personally and professionally while protecting
• 0:56
  family time. We're about to figure out this
• 1:01
  work, life and parenting stuff out together.
• 1:11
  Yeah, and it is, it's a funny word because it can be have a
• 1:14
  negative connotation as well, right.
• 1:16
  This idea of like extraction, like you could think about that
• 1:18
  negatively, but I think about it as like the juice, like
• 1:22
  extracting the juice out of people's experiences, out of
• 1:25
  their minds, like out of their hearts.
• 1:27
  And I just love doing that with people because I notice that
• 1:33
  with a lot of people that including myself, we're so close
• 1:37
  to our own. We could call it brilliance,
• 1:39
  genius, like gifts that we can't see them.
• 1:42
  And having someone be able to do that for you like you do on your
• 1:46
  podcast and I do on my work, it's like it's such a gift, so.
• 1:50
  It is such a gift and you know, it's just coming to mind now.
• 1:53
  It's thinking about where you started.
• 1:55
  Perfect segue in learning and development.
• 1:57
  You were like an OG learning and development professional and in
• 2:02
  the LND space you're often building training programs and
• 2:06
  such huge piece of that in for better or for worse.
• 2:09
  Having been in that world myself is getting the information from
• 2:13
  the chefs, from the the project managers, from this that and the
• 2:17
  other person and trying to package up there what they know
• 2:19
  so intimately into say something that is a handbook training
• 2:23
  manual, whatever. And it's like how fun is I mean,
• 2:26
  you and I love that, but. We're weird, yeah.
• 2:29
  We're weird, OK, We're going to take it back.
• 2:31
  OK, We met. You are such a pivotal part of
• 2:36
  my story and where I am today and what I'm doing today.
• 2:39
  And I talk about you all the time on this podcast.
• 2:42
  And I was just speaking with Jen Wint, whose podcast would have
• 2:46
  come out hopefully last week. And I don't think we touched on
• 2:50
  this in the episode, but I was telling her beforehand as like
• 2:52
  some briefing. I was like, yeah, I part of my
• 2:54
  story is, um, just telling, telling people what I wanted out
• 3:00
  of life. And an example of doing that in
• 3:03
  my life in a very pivotal time was telling a woman that I
• 3:06
  worked with in advertising. I really want to do this thing
• 3:09
  like learning and development and like, I think I, I've heard
• 3:12
  the word like coaching or whatever.
• 3:14
  And she's like, oh, look at this website.
• 3:15
  And I'll never forget. She pulls up
• 3:17
  kristenconstable.com. No winning Academy or winning
• 3:21
  Academy for you. Well, at that point I was
• 3:24
  probably winning. Defined by you.
• 3:25
  I've had many iterations. Like about so many websites, we
• 3:30
  love websites and um, pulls up this web.
• 3:32
  She's like, look how good this is like she's legit.
• 3:35
  And I was like, Oh my God, look at the blue.
• 3:37
  Oh my, Oh my God, look at that. Like professional photo she has.
• 3:41
  Didn't know any entrepreneurs myself, didn't know what
• 3:43
  coaching was, didn't know what learning and development was.
• 3:46
  And I was like, I need to meet this woman.
• 3:48
  Fast forward, she introduced us. I met you.
• 3:50
  I met our friend Ashley True Levin.
• 3:52
  I started to then just like it was like this virus within me.
• 3:57
  Opened up this whole world, up this whole.
• 3:59
  World I worked with you, worked for you for a year.
• 4:04
  It was so amazing. I learned so much and.
• 4:07
  Higher deal I've ever had. You said I was like I knew
• 4:13
  nothing. I knew a few things, but like,
• 4:15
  nothing in this space. And Fast forward your most
• 4:18
  recently, like 10 years later, you were my coach.
• 4:21
  You are my coach and I. Just you were the longest sales
• 4:24
  cycle I've ever had, 10 years. Takes so long to buy in.
• 4:29
  How did you build the program? And then was like, hey, I'm
• 4:31
  going to dip out. For a bit.
• 4:32
  I love it. So take us back to your journey.
• 4:36
  So that's where I found you. I found you already as this
• 4:38
  entrepreneur, but before that you had this poor unbelievable
• 4:41
  career professional journey. Tell us, how did you get to that
• 4:45
  point where I found you? Yeah.
• 4:47
  Oh my gosh. Well, Kohl's now it's all like
• 4:50
  shorten it up is that I started off in restaurant operations.
• 4:55
  So I was going to university for, I had a double major in
• 4:59
  psych and business and I thought I was going to do like
• 5:02
  organizational development. That was kind of like the path I
• 5:04
  was I was heading down. And at the same time, I was
• 5:07
  working for the Joey Restaurant Group.
• 5:09
  For those of you that know that strong group, I'll plug them
• 5:12
  forever because they are such a good company.
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  And so they taught me more about entrepreneurship than as as much
• 5:20
  as my entrepreneurial journey. Anyways, so I was working at as
• 5:24
  a bartender and I was like, you know what, before I go back and
• 5:27
  do like a masters, why don't I get some like real lived
• 5:30
  experience? And so I talked to my manager
• 5:33
  and was like, I want to, I want to be a leader here.
• 5:35
  I want to, you know, manage something.
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  And he said something to me that was so interesting.
• 5:42
  He was like, you know what? He's like, I don't know if I see
• 5:45
  you as a leader. He's like, but I'm willing to
• 5:47
  give you a chance. And so it was in the patio.
• 5:50
  It was in the summer. And he's like, I'm going to just
• 5:53
  create this role for you. Patio manager.
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  No one had ever been a patio manager before.
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  It was like this like, made-up thing.
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  And I was like, OK, I'm like, I'm a bit competitive.
• 6:02
  So I'm like, OK, I'm going to show you.
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  And I knocked it out of the park that year.
• 6:07
  Of course you did. Yeah.
• 6:08
  And I did all these, like, initiatives.
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  We got a DJ out there. We had like blankets, infused
• 6:13
  water, like all the things. So my entrepreneurial nature
• 6:17
  really had an an opportunity the first time probably ever for it
• 6:21
  to be like, because they had a mantra around it's your
• 6:23
  business. And I really took that to heart.
• 6:25
  And so that was my like taste of entrepreneurship.
• 6:29
  I moved through that organization, did all of the
• 6:31
  different OPS roles, which taught me so much about
• 6:34
  business, ran like big teams, big budgets, like, you know,
• 6:39
  food and Bev budgets. And then I had the opportunity
• 6:42
  to go into head office kind of another like serendipitous
• 6:45
  thing. The there's a mat leave that
• 6:46
  opened up and they're like, do you want to come and do this,
• 6:49
  Matt leave for people and culture?
• 6:51
  So I was like, sure, because it kind of was more aligned with
• 6:53
  the OD background that I was kind of looking at.
• 6:56
  And again, I'm like, OK, this woman's going to come back from
• 6:59
  her Matt leave. I need to create a job basically
• 7:02
  for myself. And so I created the department
• 7:05
  of training and development in that company.
• 7:07
  And when she came back, I was like, I don't want to go, I want
• 7:10
  to do this. And that just opened up this
• 7:12
  whole world for me where I got, that's where I got introduced to
• 7:16
  coaching. I got certified as a leadership
• 7:18
  coach through that organization and then trained all of the
• 7:22
  leaders and managers in that organization and coaching and
• 7:24
  coaching culture. And all of those things
• 7:27
  developed like these programs that you were talking about at
• 7:30
  the beginning of the episode went around North America
• 7:33
  training, all of the new store openings.
• 7:35
  So the reason I share all of that is, is like that whole
• 7:38
  thing, now that I look back on it, none of it was like, it was
• 7:42
  all a prelude to what I'm doing now.
• 7:45
  And then ten years ago decided to start my own thing.
• 7:48
  And that was the winning defined or yeah, winning defined by you
• 7:52
  where it started. Trademark.
• 7:54
  Yeah. So, well, no one could remember.
• 7:56
  That was a very bad, very bad name, but it's OK.
• 7:59
  And it evolved. And so now it's evolved into my
• 8:02
  company, which is called Soulful CEO.
• 8:04
  And over the years, like I think a lot of people do get more
• 8:10
  clear on your unique zone of genius and what that is.
• 8:14
  And so, you know, now I really am focused on helping people
• 8:18
  extract their IP, their experience, and turn these into
• 8:21
  scalable, ownable bodies of work that they become known for.
• 8:24
  And you're so good at it. It's insane at that moment where
• 8:29
  the woman is coming back from mat leave and you're like, oh, I
• 8:31
  can like make my own department, not even just roll department.
• 8:35
  How did you have the gumption or like, what was it within you
• 8:38
  that gave you the courage to be like, I can build this, I can
• 8:42
  make this, I can just ask for this.
• 8:45
  There's something about being like young and just like kind of
• 8:49
  like there there was. I didn't even think about it any
• 8:51
  other way. It was like, I just had this
• 8:54
  confidence that I'm like, I want to be here.
• 8:57
  There's an opportunity here. Like I, I saw the gap because at
• 9:01
  that point, training and development was all in OPS.
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  So they didn't have anyone in head office.
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  But I had come from OPS and I knew the gaps of like not having
• 9:10
  anything centralized and all the stores doing different things.
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  So I saw the gap and then I just, you know, I was very lucky
• 9:17
  that I had a boss who, um, he was kind of like planting that
• 9:22
  pathway all along. If I were to like think back on
• 9:25
  it is like he created the opportunities and it was for me
• 9:29
  to step into them. And I still feel that way.
• 9:32
  Like with like a lot of the things that have come my way
• 9:36
  have not just like fallen on my lap is, and I think this is for
• 9:39
  everybody. It's like there's doors open and
• 9:42
  you have to walk through them and you have to claim it.
• 9:45
  And so I think that that was just a really just, it was not
• 9:49
  super contrived. It was just something that I
• 9:53
  wanted. And it served me so well that
• 9:56
  now it's become this thing where it's like, yeah, if they're an
• 9:59
  opportunity comes across my plate, I'm like, and it feels
• 10:02
  aligned. I'm like, even if I'm not
• 10:04
  totally ready, I'm going to say yes to it because I know that
• 10:08
  that will open up stuff in the future.
• 10:10
  And you know you could figure it out.
• 10:11
  Exactly, Yeah. It's so awesome.
• 10:14
  You're so you're so good at that.
• 10:17
  Tell me, what's something, what's an opportunity or like
• 10:20
  something that you've done? You talked about just like being
• 10:22
  like, you know, having your zone of genius.
• 10:24
  What's something that has been completely out of your zone of
• 10:27
  genius that you've tackled or done in your career that did
• 10:29
  not? That did not go well.
• 10:31
  Like you were like, Oh my God, that was not fun.
• 10:34
  Yeah, I'm trying to think about it.
• 10:36
  I mean, there's so there's so much in terms of even just like
• 10:40
  all the different brand iterations and like it hasn't
• 10:42
  been like home run straight shoot, like there's been wanting
• 10:46
  defined by you winning Academy, then my personal brand, Kristen
• 10:50
  Constable and then now soulful CEO.
• 10:53
  So if I were to get like really specific about things, I mean,
• 10:58
  there's like if like my YouTube channel, for example, is a good
• 11:02
  example of it is like I started that and being like, I could do
• 11:05
  that. That's so easy, right?
• 11:07
  It's like I I'm OK talking on camera and stuff.
• 11:10
  The amount of work that goes into any of these types of
• 11:13
  things, you know, from your podcast is like it's insane.
• 11:17
  So the fact that you can learn everything, I'm saying this to
• 11:21
  someone the other day, it's like it's my Achilles heel.
• 11:24
  I'll go on a side tangent here for a second.
• 11:26
  We just bought a home and so with ChatGPT, I feel like I can
• 11:31
  do everything like everything because I have this like partner
• 11:35
  with me. So I'm outside the other day,
• 11:38
  draining our hot tub, bleeding the lines because there's
• 11:42
  apparently air pockets in them, which are.
• 11:45
  Only new. Because we too because the chat
• 11:47
  TVT. But it's bleeding even the lines
• 11:49
  Bleeding the lines never heard. That I guess the air gets stuck
• 11:51
  in them and it won't go through The Jets.
• 11:53
  So you have to figure out how to anyways, it's insane, right?
• 11:55
  So I'm on my knees outside, it's getting dark because it's taking
• 11:58
  me so long to do this and I'm like learning to bleed the
• 12:02
  lines. And so this is my point.
• 12:05
  Bringing it back is like just because you can do everything
• 12:08
  doesn't mean that you should. So that's been like a big
• 12:11
  learning for me along the way. YouTube channel being one of
• 12:14
  them like, you know, content or even offers like offers like
• 12:19
  launching things and then them being absolute flops.
• 12:22
  Um, it's like just because you can do everything that you that
• 12:26
  you shouldn't do everything. Yeah.
• 12:29
  But one thing about you that I know, given that we've been
• 12:32
  colleagues and friends for so long, is that you're like,
• 12:35
  whatever, I'm going to get back on the horse.
• 12:37
  And I think that is like one of your greatest pieces of
• 12:40
  inspiration, apart from like the work you do and the support you
• 12:43
  have, is your ability to just like, not ruminate on it.
• 12:48
  And there's so much stuff that happens behind the scenes, I'm
• 12:50
  sure that flops that no one would know.
• 12:51
  I would never know that you've ever had a flopped offer because
• 12:55
  you're not like going on Instagram stories and be like,
• 12:57
  OK, let me tell you about this flopped offer.
• 12:59
  I just, you know, some people just like almost share.
• 13:02
  It's good to be vulnerable, but they maybe they share too much
• 13:05
  and they're like, they feel embarrassed.
• 13:06
  And so they feel like they need to try to rectify it.
• 13:09
  There's a time and a place for that.
• 13:10
  But like you're just so you're confident and you're like, OK,
• 13:14
  move on. Try the next. 1 is a learning
• 13:17
  because I don't really see them as like flops, like they, yeah,
• 13:20
  it didn't work, but it's like I got to learn something from it,
• 13:23
  got to learn what people liked, what they didn't like.
• 13:26
  And so that's kind of my orientation towards that.
• 13:28
  Why I'm not like, Oh my God, like this didn't work out.
• 13:31
  It's like, OK, let's pivot. It's probably just because I
• 13:34
  didn't talk about it right? Or, you know, didn't promote it
• 13:37
  right. Or it's not something people
• 13:38
  want, and that's OK. Too totally.
• 13:41
  Now if people haven't gotten the sense from you in the couple
• 13:45
  minutes we've been chatting, you are incredibly driven.
• 13:48
  You self-proclaimed, are competitive.
• 13:50
  You were competitive swimmer back in the day.
• 13:52
  You work really, really hard now.
• 13:54
  How has the notion of becoming a mother or parenthood as this?
• 14:01
  I could go on and ask this question and and all the
• 14:04
  different ways, but how has that journey looked for you?
• 14:07
  Yeah, well, my like that journey.
• 14:11
  So work has kind of always been this steadiness in my life and
• 14:15
  it's always been like this progression.
• 14:16
  And I've loved it for the sense that it's something that I can
• 14:20
  100% control. And I'm just going to be honest
• 14:23
  about that. It's like, it's a really nice
• 14:25
  thing because I'm like, OK, I'm in control.
• 14:28
  I can work hard. If I want something I can like,
• 14:30
  I know how to work it and I can I can do that on the other side
• 14:34
  of things like love, relationships, parenthood,
• 14:39
  there's not as much control because there's another person
• 14:43
  involved. So my like relationship life has
• 14:46
  been kind of sorted. Like by 36, I had two divorces
• 14:51
  and my first marriage, I got married at 21 really young.
• 14:55
  I was divorced by 23 and I was like, OK, that's like a blip on
• 14:58
  the radar, you know, like mistake.
• 15:00
  Just let's chalk it up for what it was.
• 15:02
  It was a mistake. I know I felt like I had like I
• 15:05
  did. I had so much more time right
• 15:07
  and ahead of me and what terms of parenthood and all that kind
• 15:09
  of stuff. Fast forward to like 38, how old
• 15:13
  was I? 3233 got married again and at
• 15:18
  this point it was like kind of just a non spoken that, yeah,
• 15:24
  I'd have kids and a family and all of that.
• 15:26
  And that was like tracking in that direction.
• 15:28
  And so it didn't really worry me or wasn't something I stressed
• 15:31
  out about. And my partner, my my second
• 15:34
  husband, he had a kid already, a wonderful little boy.
• 15:39
  And so I got to see him as a dad.
• 15:41
  And that was like one of the coolest things when we got
• 15:44
  together at the beginning was like, oh, I can see this person
• 15:46
  as a parent. And I can see that in that
• 15:49
  sense. Like I could see parenting with
• 15:51
  them. And unfortunately, that
• 15:54
  relationship didn't work out. So now I'm at 36 years old and
• 15:59
  this was spring of 2020 after like a year of kind of like the
• 16:03
  relationship falling apart. But spring of 2020, it was like
• 16:06
  done. If we remember back to spring of
• 16:09
  2020, it was like a weird time. Obviously, it's now COVID and
• 16:14
  I'm like, OK, this is interesting because we don't
• 16:16
  know how long this is going to go on for.
• 16:18
  We're all at home by ourselves. Like I'm like, I'm not going to
• 16:21
  meet anybody. Like I'm just gonna be like
• 16:23
  alone for a long time. And now the idea of becoming a
• 16:29
  parent, being a mom specifically started to like really worry me
• 16:34
  in a lot of ways because I was like, oh, no, I'm like, I'm
• 16:38
  might have run out of time here. And I know it's such a bullshit,
• 16:42
  to be honest. And it's one of these
• 16:44
  conversations that really like, I want to talk about more
• 16:49
  because I think that there's this idea for women that it's
• 16:54
  like, there's this timeline. And of course there is to a
• 16:56
  certain degree, but there's also, it's not so finite and it
• 17:00
  puts so much pressure on. Well, I could just speak for
• 17:04
  myself. It puts so much pressure on me.
• 17:06
  And I was like, Oh my gosh, like, what am I going to do?
• 17:09
  And so my, my current partner, my partner now Ryan, he is
• 17:14
  amazing. And we had known each other
• 17:16
  before. And so it this totally different
• 17:19
  conversations. I won't get into that whole
• 17:20
  thing, but we met and it was just like perfect.
• 17:24
  And it was just like easy. And it was like, OK, this can
• 17:27
  like, you know, it went quite quickly because we had this
• 17:30
  foundation to build from. But in our first, I would say
• 17:34
  year of our relationship, I put so much pressure on the
• 17:38
  relationship around this like family piece that I almost
• 17:41
  ruined it because he's just like, I can't give you an answer
• 17:46
  right now. He's like, I don't know.
• 17:48
  And so he's like, if I want to have kids, if he wants to have
• 17:50
  kids. So he's like, if you need that
• 17:53
  from me, I can't give that to you.
• 17:54
  And I don't want to just say yes and like say it because that's
• 17:58
  what you want to hear, which I actually really appreciate about
• 18:01
  him is like, he's like a no bullshit person.
• 18:04
  So he's not going to say that. So anyways, so now I'm like in
• 18:07
  this place where the first time ever I've felt like totally out
• 18:12
  of control of like a goal that I want with no app like means to
• 18:19
  get there. And it was like so foreign to me
• 18:22
  because with work it was like, OK, I want something just like,
• 18:24
  figure it out, work harder, put in the reps.
• 18:27
  But with this that didn't like that was not working, like
• 18:30
  pressuring, putting in the reps like that was not going to work.
• 18:33
  No. And so, yeah, so I had to really
• 18:36
  have this reckoning with like, OK, is it something that I, is
• 18:41
  it a non negotiable for me? Because if it's a non negotiable
• 18:45
  for me, there's probably ways to make that happen, right?
• 18:47
  Is like, you know, either someone who wants to have a kid
• 18:49
  and just as like absolutely yes, on my own, whatever.
• 18:53
  And I came to the realization that like it wasn't a non
• 18:57
  negotiable for me. It was something that at that
• 19:00
  point in time I wanted, but it wasn't like a deal breaker in
• 19:05
  terms of the relationship or anything like that.
• 19:07
  So then what I decided to do was like, OK, because of the, the
• 19:11
  control freak in me was like, couldn't let it go.
• 19:14
  I was like, well, what can I do? And so I decided to freeze my
• 19:17
  eggs. And so this was around, I was
• 19:19
  like about 37. The crazy thing about this whole
• 19:23
  thing is I go to freeze my eggs at 37 and they're like basically
• 19:26
  you waited too long. Like the the general message I
• 19:30
  get from people and I'm like really like, why didn't anyone
• 19:34
  say anything like why? OK, this is a another sidebar.
• 19:38
  Yeah, Say though, no, this is the place for this.
• 19:40
  Yes, because it's like I feel like as, and maybe this is
• 19:44
  starting to happen more and I don't know, but I did not know
• 19:48
  that at like around 30 to 33, you should probably think about
• 19:54
  this as if you want options like that's like the most apparently
• 19:58
  like ideal time to freeze your eggs if you're going to well
• 20:02
  anytime before that essentially. But 33 is like the latest.
• 20:05
  What 27 year old is doing that though?
• 20:06
  Not thinking about that. Don't it's not even in your
• 20:08
  awareness. And no one's like I, you know,
• 20:11
  you go to your doctor, you go to your family doctors, like, why
• 20:13
  not that be part of the conversation.
• 20:16
  It's like, hey, if you're thinking about this, like have
• 20:19
  you thought about this? These are the pros and cons,
• 20:21
  whatever. But anyways, that's its side
• 20:24
  tangent, but it's just like one of these things because like,
• 20:27
  OK, so now I'm like, OK, I can do this thing.
• 20:29
  I can freeze my eggs. It's almost like I thought it
• 20:31
  was going to be like a like a insurance policy.
• 20:35
  Yes. I go to do it.
• 20:37
  They're like basically like you're, you're a bit too old,
• 20:41
  but you can do it. So I'm like, OK, so I just, I'm
• 20:44
  like, I'm going to do it. I am an entrepreneur so I pay
• 20:46
  for it myself because it's like I don't have like insurance or
• 20:49
  anything like that. Well I end U freezing the eggs
• 20:55
  and we do one round of it and we get 4 eggs that are like viable
• 21:02
  good to freeze all of that. 4 is not very.
• 21:05
  Many I actually know. Reference.
• 21:08
  IVF moms would but OK. So not many, like I can't
• 21:13
  remember now off the top of my head statistically what that all
• 21:17
  works out to be. But I was like, they're like, do
• 21:20
  you want to do another round? And I'm like, no, I'm like if.
• 21:24
  Because although it's statistically not enough, like a
• 21:27
  lot, it also is like you only need 1.
• 21:29
  So it's like there's like there's two ways that you can
• 21:32
  hold all of that. So I froze the four little eggs
• 21:35
  and I actually got this tattoo. I don't know.
• 21:38
  It's going, if you're listening, you won't be able to see it, but
• 21:40
  it's like a sacred geometry with four little dots in the middle.
• 21:43
  And yeah. And so those 4 little dots, it
• 21:47
  makes me a little emotional. Yeah.
• 21:49
  Represent those those little eggs.
• 21:53
  That is so freaking cool. What do those eggs represent to
• 21:56
  you? Choice Yeah, I think that's it
• 22:01
  is like just choice. And um, I think they, it was
• 22:07
  about like, how can you be the author of your own story?
• 22:11
  Is like kind of like how I think that that was like the coaching
• 22:15
  I kind of gave myself that like how can I be the author of my
• 22:17
  own story? How can I do everything that I
• 22:20
  can do on my end knowing that like whether that's enough eggs
• 22:24
  is out of my control, whether we even want.
• 22:27
  And this is like now years later, because I was like when I
• 22:29
  was 37, I was going through all that 42.
• 22:31
  Now my stance on it has kind of shifted.
• 22:36
  Like I'm a bit looser around the whole thing.
• 22:38
  Um, but it was like, I feel like I did everything that I could do
• 22:44
  to be in choice around giving myself the, my future self, the
• 22:49
  options, Yeah. Oh my God, my whole body is like
• 22:54
  because it convulsing. No shivers is so freaking
• 22:59
  beautiful. Like that notion of just like I
• 23:03
  took the steps and not enough. Like I know we like Joe, you're
• 23:07
  like, Oh, the control freak in me.
• 23:08
  But but that's also just like it's your fucking life.
• 23:12
  Like give yourself the best. It's like if you did have kids,
• 23:15
  you want your kids to have the best opportunities.
• 23:17
  You want to put their best. You're giving yourself like the
• 23:20
  the opportunities, the choice. Like you're saying how how like
• 23:24
  what a great, like you don't know, what a great lesson for
• 23:28
  just life in general, especially as a woman, especially how
• 23:31
  privileged we are where we live, you know, in this day and age,
• 23:35
  etcetera. But thank you for sharing that.
• 23:37
  That is so that's so freaking cool.
• 23:39
  And that's so you like it's so on brand for you to be like, OK,
• 23:45
  interesting. Like I've got I'm faced with an
• 23:48
  opportunity, I'm faced with a challenge.
• 23:50
  What am I going to do about it? You're not the friend who's
• 23:51
  going to keep beating the dead horse bringing Oh, should I
• 23:55
  should, I know I shouldn't like every, you know, monthly dinner
• 23:57
  with your girlfriends. You're not going to be.
• 23:59
  You're not the type to ruminate and continue to complain.
• 24:03
  Let's just call a spade a spade. You're like, yeah, I'm gonna
• 24:05
  like make a little opportunity for myself in a Petri dish or I
• 24:08
  don't actually know. Their stories a little, yeah,
• 24:10
  I'm not sure either actually. I just pay for it year after
• 24:13
  year, the storage fees that they tell me and I'm like, OK, I'm
• 24:16
  not ready to do anything with them yet.
• 24:17
  But what I will say is that the interesting thing about it all
• 24:22
  was the shift for me after I did that, even though I know that
• 24:27
  it's like not a full on insurance policy, it freed up so
• 24:32
  much energy and the relationship between Ryan and I complete like
• 24:37
  it. It released all the tension
• 24:39
  there. And it wasn't about changing
• 24:42
  him. It wasn't about him like
• 24:45
  changing the conversation, nothing.
• 24:47
  It was just like I cleaned up my side of the street kind of
• 24:50
  thing. And I'm like, I feel complete
• 24:52
  with that now and it's great. And it's like now we have
• 24:56
  regular conversations. We, we come back to the
• 25:00
  conversation regularly and just kind of like check in on it and
• 25:04
  see like how we're feeling, like what's there.
• 25:07
  And both of us are really good with it.
• 25:11
  It's just being kind of like neutral and it's like we haven't
• 25:13
  decided no, but we also are not a full yes.
• 25:17
  So it's like until we're a full yes, then I'm going to keep
• 25:21
  paying the $700.00 a year to keep them in there.
• 25:26
  That's so cool, though. I love, Oh, you always have such
• 25:29
  good, um, like visuals like I just love.
• 25:32
  That's why I think I just can learn so well from you because
• 25:35
  you're like, I'm cleaning up my side of the street.
• 25:37
  This isn't like we can point the finger in some cases for certain
• 25:40
  things. Everyone's got their own side of
• 25:42
  the street, but you're like, hey, this is kind of a me thing,
• 25:44
  like the pressure was a me thing.
• 25:46
  So like what can I do about that?
• 25:47
  Like you can go to counseling, you can talk about it.
• 25:50
  You can like physically freeze your eggs.
• 25:52
  Like how, how unbelievable. Take me to today and this notion
• 25:59
  of category of 1. So the business you have is
• 26:01
  soulful CEO. You are a coach, a badass
• 26:04
  leadership coach, coach for entrepreneurs.
• 26:07
  The company is all about supporting entrepreneurs
• 26:09
  actually. How do you describe it?
• 26:10
  How are you describing your Business Today?
• 26:12
  Yeah, I mean, I think because I straddle coaching and I would
• 26:16
  say consulting. And so for people who know the
• 26:20
  coaching world, it's like, are you as you and I do, there's
• 26:23
  like a huge variety of like experiences that you'll get in
• 26:27
  there. And so my work kind of straddles
• 26:30
  both where I bring the the consulting and the advisory and
• 26:33
  the mentorship because of my lived experience and how I can
• 26:36
  support people that way. But then I also hold space and
• 26:40
  know how to hold space really well for the human.
• 26:42
  And so, um, because they go like hand in hand, Like as soon as as
• 26:48
  you probably know, you have the strategy, you have the goals and
• 26:51
  the vision, well, all of our stuff comes up to get in the way
• 26:55
  of that. And so having someone to be able
• 26:57
  to support you, like clear that stuff and then also move forward
• 27:01
  on the strategy, I think is like the, the sweet spot in the
• 27:04
  intersection. So that's kind of what what I do
• 27:09
  and why I actually came up with the name Soulful CEO because it
• 27:13
  has this duality to it is like the CEO side is like the
• 27:16
  strategy, the business acumen, like running our businesses,
• 27:19
  like not just this cute little side hustles, but like actual
• 27:22
  businesses. But then the soul full side is
• 27:24
  like not losing touch with the human in the process and like
• 27:27
  using your vehicle as a vehicle, like literally to do your work
• 27:31
  in the world. And so, yeah, the long winded,
• 27:34
  but that's how I talked about. It not at all.
• 27:36
  Wait, this is making me think as you're saying, the soulful CEO I
• 27:40
  want. I know this intimately because
• 27:41
  I've been a fan of you and a friend of yours for, but tell
• 27:45
  everybody that transitioned from going from having really big
• 27:48
  corporate clients, being very buttoned down business suit
• 27:51
  vibes to then taking another path to then coming back to this
• 27:55
  category of one that you have in your business.
• 27:58
  Tell us about that journey because that is so real.
• 28:01
  Yeah, and a lot of people go through stuff like this too.
• 28:03
  Totally. And I see it a lot actually with
• 28:05
  people who come from corporate and then they go on their own
• 28:08
  like it's my story. Totally.
• 28:10
  So I can I can prove it. Yeah, exactly.
• 28:12
  It's like you are like I was in corporate.
• 28:15
  It was like very like, yeah, proper buttoned up, all of that.
• 28:18
  And then at the same time I was starting to do my own kind of
• 28:23
  like soul work, personal development, doing all the
• 28:26
  things. And so I went to, I was going on
• 28:28
  my own journey, right? And then I was like, well,
• 28:30
  there's this whole world over here and it's like, it's like
• 28:33
  all of a sudden you start seeing as like black and white and then
• 28:35
  Technicolor. And so you're like, I need to
• 28:37
  like share that. I need to like bring that into
• 28:40
  my work. That's the work that I want to
• 28:42
  do. And so.
• 28:43
  And what was that? What was the Technicolor?
• 28:45
  The Technicolor was really around this like soul, the soul
• 28:48
  work side of things. And so, um, it's all I've always
• 28:53
  had an orientation around like business and bring those things
• 28:56
  in, but it definitely swung like pretty far on the like woo side.
• 29:01
  And I think you remember some of the like the middle of.
• 29:05
  It was so sexy I loved. It, it was like, yeah.
• 29:08
  And like I, yeah, it was like it was.
• 29:10
  But what I realized in all of that, and this happens often
• 29:14
  when our business, when we're personal brands, especially
• 29:16
  because they fall, it follows our trajectory, but it's not a
• 29:21
  great, um, business decision to root your business in what
• 29:28
  you're like interested about. And this really has to be about
• 29:31
  like, who are the people you want to serve?
• 29:33
  Who are your clients? And how do you bring route your
• 29:36
  business and like what they actually want while bringing
• 29:39
  your interests and passions and stuff into it.
• 29:40
  But this intersection, it's not just about like, what do I want
• 29:43
  to do because that's a hobby and it's around like, what do I want
• 29:47
  to do? And how can this actually like
• 29:49
  meet a need in the market for the type of person that I want
• 29:54
  to work with? And that's category, that's the
• 29:56
  category of one conversation. And I had to kind of go on my
• 30:00
  own journey around that to find that not only from a conceptual
• 30:06
  perspective, but like lived, walked, like I know what it's
• 30:09
  like to be over here and just doing it because I want to do
• 30:12
  it. And then getting like really
• 30:14
  frustrated when the business wasn't growing at the rate and
• 30:18
  level that I wanted it to grow. But it's like, well, no doubt,
• 30:22
  because it's like I'm just kind of like doing what I want to do,
• 30:25
  not thinking about it as a business in the sense of like
• 30:28
  creating offers and positioning for the person who's actually
• 30:32
  going to buy. So good.
• 30:35
  And again, it's just so real because even if you are the
• 30:38
  corporate person and you went, you know, so government or like
• 30:43
  banking or whatever, and then you're like, I'm going to quit
• 30:45
  and did my yoga teacher training, which we've all done,
• 30:48
  some of us, yeah. Guilty.
• 30:51
  Guilty, never taught a class in my life.
• 30:55
  And then you go over and you do that and then you're like, OK,
• 30:58
  pendulum back to this. Like what is the neutral ground?
• 31:01
  And and I think what you're saying and you're not saying to
• 31:04
  like concede and build a business that you don't like or
• 31:07
  build an offer that you're like, well, this is what's going to
• 31:10
  make money. Yes, you do need to think about
• 31:11
  that because you're going to hate the business in a year or
• 31:13
  you're going to hate your job in a year if you've only done it
• 31:16
  because of the money. But it there is like, sometimes
• 31:18
  you got to get the taste for both sides.
• 31:20
  It's so interesting. This conversation keeps coming
• 31:22
  up in my personal life or on the podcast right now around this.
• 31:26
  Like midlife. I don't actually think 30s
• 31:30
  forties is midlife at all anymore.
• 31:31
  I know, right? It's weird.
• 31:33
  Not weird to like people say that I'm midlife and in my 40s.
• 31:36
  I guess it is, but I'm like no, like I feel like I've got so
• 31:39
  much. We're going to let all live to
• 31:41
  like 120, so like 60s midlife to me.
• 31:43
  But there is like this a lot of people are, I don't know, have
• 31:48
  you experienced this is now just two friends chatting?
• 31:50
  But have you heard this too of like people like that old joke
• 31:53
  about the the guy who's like buys the sports car, like the
• 31:56
  the midlife crisis, Like what are your thoughts on that?
• 31:59
  Because it does seem like there's these really big
• 32:01
  pendulum swing for a lot of people and and what's your take
• 32:04
  on that? What are you seeing?
• 32:05
  Yeah, I kind of love the conversation because I've heard
• 32:08
  it talked about as like the second act for people.
• 32:12
  And I think that there is so much like, I love
• 32:17
  entrepreneurship and it's not for everybody.
• 32:19
  And it's like, it's not like it shouldn't be for, it shouldn't
• 32:23
  be for everybody. So this is like, you know, for
• 32:25
  people who kind of like thrive in uncertainty, don't mind
• 32:30
  taking risks, don't need the stability of like a paycheck and
• 32:34
  9:00 to 5:00, you can handle that.
• 32:37
  To me, entrepreneurship is like the path because it's like
• 32:40
  there's just so there's no ceiling.
• 32:42
  You get freedom of expression, freedom of time, all of the
• 32:45
  things. And you can find that internally
• 32:47
  too, though there are places that you can find that.
• 32:50
  But anyways, I think that there's these so many obviously
• 32:54
  women in particular who are like, I'm done with this shit.
• 32:58
  I'm done with like playing by these rules, like be like
• 33:01
  climbing up the ladder, like not getting the opportunities that I
• 33:05
  deserve. You know, all the things.
• 33:07
  And I know that happened to me in my corporate career to a
• 33:10
  degree too. Even though the companies I
• 33:11
  worked for were excellent. I was kind of like looking
• 33:14
  around and I'm like, I see the predictable path here and I'm
• 33:18
  like, I don't know if I can do 30 years like of this more.
• 33:24
  And so that was kind of like, you know, where I was like, OK,
• 33:26
  let's give this a try. And I was in my 30s, so I had
• 33:29
  lots of time. And it's like, if it doesn't
• 33:30
  work, it doesn't work out. But I think there's a lot of
• 33:33
  people who are in that headspace around like, you know, I, I want
• 33:37
  to, I have a lot to offer. And it's not getting, they're
• 33:41
  not in environments that's really allowing them to like
• 33:45
  offer what they can at the level or be compensated or hold the
• 33:49
  other things that are important to them, like family and time
• 33:52
  off and things like that. And I think with like starting
• 33:57
  businesses, especially service based businesses being so much
• 34:00
  more accessible, it's not really that big of a stretch to be
• 34:05
  like, OK, I'm going to take, and this is what I love helping
• 34:07
  people with, take the decades of experience you have all of your
• 34:11
  IP, all of the things that you've liked built over the
• 34:14
  first act and packaged those into a viable, scalable business
• 34:20
  that allows you to create like the, the full values, like live
• 34:25
  in the full values of your life. And so I think it's great that
• 34:28
  people are doing this. And it's like it's not for
• 34:31
  everybody, but for the people that I said that can like
• 34:33
  stomach those things, I would say go for it.
• 34:37
  Like it's like, why not? True or false?
• 34:40
  If you're in your 40s, fifties, 60s, it's too late to make a
• 34:44
  pivot like that. I saw something the other day
• 34:47
  that was like, I think it was the average per the woman who
• 34:51
  starts a business. I think it was around like her
• 34:54
  40s, like that was like the average time.
• 34:57
  And I actually think that it's such a cool.
• 35:00
  I have this colleague that works with midlife women, but they
• 35:04
  tend to be a bit older. It's like, and I think it's like
• 35:07
  the coolest retirement plan almost.
• 35:10
  It's like for if you're in your like fifties, 60s and you are
• 35:15
  like, you know, open to learning new things because you have to
• 35:18
  be obviously open to learning new skill sets and things like
• 35:21
  that. It's like start a business and
• 35:24
  it's like you don't have to then work 9:00 to 5:00, but you can
• 35:27
  still have this vehicle to have like to create and to like
• 35:32
  create meaning and purpose in this like output that feels
• 35:36
  good. It's not just like putting in
• 35:37
  the hours. It's actually it's creative.
• 35:39
  That's how I see business is it's a creative endeavor.
• 35:42
  And so when we have a way to do that and make money and help
• 35:45
  people at the same time, like, why wouldn't you want to do
• 35:48
  that? It's like a bit like your second
• 35:50
  act in your business, not just your life.
• 35:51
  And like make sure I'm kind of doing the math as you're saying
• 35:53
  that I'm like, say you're 50. Maybe you had kids at 3035.
• 35:56
  Your kids are like 1520. Maybe they're going to
• 35:59
  university or they're like starting their lives.
• 36:00
  Like you can start another career, not be fully empty
• 36:04
  nested without a job because you've retired being like, holy
• 36:07
  crap, what now? You can be like, cool, I'm like
• 36:09
  now running a business. My kids in university in
• 36:11
  Ontario, I can go visit them whenever I want.
• 36:13
  Like that's actually. I've never thought about it that
• 36:16
  way. Yeah, how fun.
• 36:18
  Totally. OK, category, we've talked about
• 36:20
  category of one. We've kind of like we've alluded
• 36:22
  to a dance around how do you describe what a category of 1
• 36:26
  is? Hmm, Yeah, this is a good
• 36:27
  question. I because I think we well,
• 36:30
  especially in the online space, there's no shortage of people
• 36:33
  talking about like be a category of one, like category of 1
• 36:37
  brand. And in the online space,
• 36:39
  particularly in the coaching online space, it's like very
• 36:42
  trendy to be like this is like a new idea, but it's not.
• 36:45
  It's like if it goes back to many of your listeners probably
• 36:49
  know blue ocean theory. So it's like blue ocean, red
• 36:53
  ocean. So I can't remember the author
• 36:55
  of the book, but this is a like a kind of a very common
• 36:59
  economics book essentially around blue ocean theory, red
• 37:03
  ocean theory. And so this is the, the
• 37:05
  underlying of this idea of category of 1.
• 37:08
  So in a red ocean, that's where there's competition.
• 37:10
  So if we just think about like the marketplace in general, this
• 37:13
  is where there's like commoditized goods.
• 37:15
  So it's things like, I don't know, like toothpaste, for
• 37:18
  example, like you go, I mean, maybe you have a favorite brand,
• 37:22
  but you go into the grocery store, we look at toothpaste.
• 37:24
  If you're anything like me, you look at the one that's on sale
• 37:27
  and you, as long as it's not some weird random 1 you like, if
• 37:30
  it's Crest, Colgate, whatever, you're just like sends it and
• 37:33
  you could just get the one that's on sale.
• 37:34
  So it's a productized good that competes on price and
• 37:39
  accessibility. That's red ocean.
• 37:42
  Blue ocean is when you create this completely distinct
• 37:46
  category for yourself, where it's like there is no
• 37:50
  competition in that in that space you've created such a
• 37:54
  unique offering that there is no difference.
• 37:57
  So, you know, we can think about like water as an example here
• 38:01
  because water is a commodity. Good, you would think.
• 38:04
  But then there's things like, say, Voss, right?
• 38:06
  Or like that. What is that other one that they
• 38:09
  Fiji? Oh, no, yeah.
• 38:10
  Well, the Fiji is 1. And then there's like, what is
• 38:13
  it? It's like death or something
• 38:14
  like that. They've created.
• 38:15
  It's like a very scattery brand, but it's like these kind of
• 38:19
  water waters. They have a category of their
• 38:21
  own, right? They're like, you buy that
• 38:23
  because you want to be associated with that brand.
• 38:28
  It's a part of you. So like that Voss water, if you
• 38:31
  want to be fancy, right, you would buy the Voss bottle and
• 38:34
  then you're like, then it kind of says something about you.
• 38:37
  So this category of 1 is really about blue ocean strategy and
• 38:42
  it's about how do you create a blue ocean for you?
• 38:45
  So you are the person and the brand that people think about
• 38:50
  when they think about your thing.
• 38:52
  So if they think about podcasting for example.
• 38:55
  Figured out. Yes, it's like that is your
• 38:58
  category of 1 and you're like the best at it and you create
• 39:01
  these amazing experiences. When people come onto your show,
• 39:04
  they know what to expect. It's like people want to refer
• 39:07
  people to a podcast or as like listen to this show.
• 39:10
  And so it's like carving these spaces out for ourselves.
• 39:13
  It's a perfect intersection of our skills, our gifts, our
• 39:17
  experience that nobody else can do quite like us.
• 39:21
  And every single one of us has a category of 1.
• 39:25
  And I love helping people really see and find that because it's
• 39:30
  like it can be hard for us to see that for ourselves, but it's
• 39:34
  like everyone has it. And when you're willing to own
• 39:36
  that, life becomes so easy because, well, business becomes
• 39:40
  so easy because you're not looking like other people can be
• 39:43
  doing podcasts and you're like, I don't care.
• 39:45
  It's like, awesome, That's great.
• 39:47
  Let's talk about best practices versus being like, oh, like I'm
• 39:50
  in competition with them or they, they're getting the guests
• 39:53
  that I want. Because it just doesn't work
• 39:55
  like that when you're in a blue then.
• 39:57
  That's so cool. Wow, what a what an excellent
• 40:00
  way of describing that. I feel like we all just got a
• 40:02
  little MBA in this like, OK, so the person who wants to I'm
• 40:07
  hearing the like cheap, cheap of the person who you and I both
• 40:10
  coached who was like, OK, but I'm just a mom, I have 3 kids, I
• 40:15
  have no time, I'm just an accountant, that's all I'm good
• 40:18
  at and Oh my God, the job market.
• 40:21
  This is what we're hearing right now, right?
• 40:23
  So this is we'll take this out of the business context for a
• 40:25
  second and just talk to like the.
• 40:27
  This is a this is a concept that is highly relevant to those who
• 40:30
  are employed by somebody else too.
• 40:32
  OK, what are we saying to that person?
• 40:34
  Like where do they even start? Yeah.
• 40:36
  Well, what's interesting is like with the category of 1 stuff is
• 40:39
  that most of the time where I start with people with that is
• 40:42
  actually like an actual exercise I do with people is timelining
• 40:46
  their life. So it's not anything to do.
• 40:48
  Well, I mean, work stuff can come up on there, but it's
• 40:50
  actually timelining your life from the, like, most pivotal
• 40:54
  early, like, formative experience to where you are now.
• 41:00
  And what usually comes up for people is nothing to do with,
• 41:03
  like, their career or anything like that.
• 41:05
  It's like, oh, like, you know, my parents got divorced when I
• 41:09
  was 8. We moved 15 times.
• 41:11
  And I, you know, had to learn how to make friends to fit in
• 41:16
  to, you know, like, yeah. Like, you know, create myself
• 41:21
  over and over again. That's a very interesting aspect
• 41:24
  of category of one that has nothing to do with like your
• 41:28
  role or the accountant or anything.
• 41:31
  And when you can tune into and tap into and leverage these
• 41:34
  things that are just naturally a gift for you.
• 41:39
  Because a lot of the times it's come from like survival, like
• 41:42
  having to survive and thrive and all of the things.
• 41:45
  Then you can start to see what you bring outside of the, the
• 41:50
  role, the experience, all of that.
• 41:52
  And that's when you have more confidence to go after things
• 41:56
  that you may have. No, like on paper, you have no
• 42:00
  business going after totally. But it's like, you know what,
• 42:02
  I'm not qualified on these things.
• 42:04
  But This is why I would hit this out of the park.
• 42:06
  And that's why I'm going to apply for it anyways.
• 42:08
  Or I'm going to have the conversation with my boss to
• 42:11
  take on that job instead of, you know, staying in this job that I
• 42:14
  don't really like and all of those things.
• 42:16
  Yeah. Oh, what's that Malcolm Gladwell
• 42:19
  book that's on this topic too? There's like the, oh, it's like
• 42:23
  a book about being, yeah, being like making yourself
• 42:28
  indispensable or like, OK. And I also see it as that as
• 42:31
  like the person who wants to reduce their workload and be
• 42:33
  like, I only want to work four days a week.
• 42:35
  Well, first do a little bit of work to make yourself
• 42:38
  indispensable. Like be that person who's the go
• 42:41
  to. Like don't overwork yourself or
• 42:42
  like reduce your boundaries, but like find, like find that area
• 42:46
  where you're like, oh, I see the opportunity.
• 42:48
  Oh, I see. Like this is exactly where
• 42:51
  there's work needed. I can fill that gap and then I
• 42:54
  have the leverage and it's not theatrically being tricky, but
• 42:57
  it's just like it's business. Totally.
• 42:59
  Oh, that's so cool. OK, so for the person now let's
• 43:02
  go play on the other side for the person who's like, OK, but
• 43:06
  I'm just this, I'm just that the job market is back, but I really
• 43:08
  want to start my own business. Butt, butt, butt.
• 43:11
  And the butt here is so many people are doing that.
• 43:15
  You come from a world business coaching.
• 43:17
  Like you can't cross the road without finding another coach,
• 43:20
  another business coach consultant.
• 43:22
  How does that person then say like, OK, but do I really stick
• 43:26
  out? Am I really a category?
• 43:28
  Like that's where the doubts come in.
• 43:29
  What do you say to that person? Yes, this is where like there is
• 43:33
  always room for people and I'm in a market, no matter how
• 43:37
  saturated it is, but you have to be willing to do one thing and
• 43:41
  that's specialize. And so this is where most people
• 43:46
  get all hung up because they feel like they're leaving stuff
• 43:50
  on the table. So they will want to be
• 43:53
  generalist and they'll be like, I can do this and I can do this
• 43:55
  and I can do this. And then you get in this like
• 43:58
  generalist category where no one knows what you're actually good
• 44:02
  at, where people can't refer people to you and you don't
• 44:06
  become that go to when people's minds.
• 44:08
  So it feels like the opposite thing that you want to do.
• 44:13
  You kind of want it. And I went through this as well.
• 44:15
  This is why winning defined by you was a thing, because it was
• 44:18
  coaching, consulting, facilitation was all the things.
• 44:20
  I will define you. Yeah, I will help define you.
• 44:23
  No matter who you are, what you do, everything, but you know it,
• 44:29
  that didn't work because it was way too broad.
• 44:32
  And so then the next iteration of that was like, OK, winning
• 44:35
  Academy, which is where you came into the picture.
• 44:37
  And that was a leadership development consultancy.
• 44:40
  And that did really well as a business because it was like one
• 44:42
  thing that we became known for and that people like thought
• 44:46
  about to refer to. So for that person, that's like,
• 44:49
  yeah, but there's so many people doing this is like, well, what
• 44:51
  are, what can you specialize in? And that's where it's like, what
• 44:55
  are you more qualified to do than almost everybody else?
• 44:59
  And this is like not only just from like credentials and things
• 45:03
  like that, but it's like you might be more qualified to do
• 45:06
  something because you have three kids and because you have the
• 45:10
  ability to like get shit done, multitask, like, you know, hold
• 45:14
  a bunch of different things at the same time.
• 45:17
  That might be what your unique advantage is in a space where
• 45:20
  people are like, you know, maybe 20 year old kids that don't have
• 45:24
  the like, lived experience and wisdom that you have.
• 45:27
  So true, like those of us that go and grew up in the corporate
• 45:31
  days of learning to write emails.
• 45:33
  I know that sounds really weird, but I actually think of that as
• 45:36
  like, wow, I'm really happy that I had that really fundamental
• 45:40
  experience of like booking calendar invites correctly with,
• 45:45
  you know, descriptions inside of them and writing emails that are
• 45:48
  professional, yet have a bit of heart that aren't sounding like
• 45:51
  AI, Like that's just that's second nature to a lot of us
• 45:54
  that grew up in that world. And so you might be like, OK,
• 45:57
  but I want to become a virtual assistant, for instance, like
• 46:00
  who am I to do that? They just want young, young
• 46:02
  bucks. But actually I want the person
• 46:04
  who learned how to write emails, who understands professionalism,
• 46:07
  hospitality and not hospitality that service.
• 46:09
  And like so it's it is very interesting when you say like
• 46:12
  that category of one. Oh my gosh, it's so I don't
• 46:19
  know. I I have so many questions on
• 46:21
  it. How do you feel about it?
• 46:22
  Because I'm curious because it's one of these things is the same
• 46:25
  thing. So you you were part of a
• 46:27
  program called Legacy Builders and this idea of category of 1
• 46:31
  and legacy is very polarizing, I find.
• 46:35
  So people either are like, Oh yeah, I want that like, and I
• 46:39
  knew I know for you, there's like something in legacy that
• 46:42
  you're like, yeah, that's attractive to me.
• 46:44
  But specifically around category of 1 and being in category of 1
• 46:47
  and owning that when it comes to say this podcast, how do you
• 46:51
  feel about that? OK, initially, as soon as you've
• 46:54
  I've said so many different thoughts and feelings around
• 46:56
  because I love the word legacy because that's stability.
• 46:59
  And then category of one, when I think of that, the one part
• 47:02
  freaks me out. That makes me be like, as
• 47:05
  somebody who loves to pivot, who loves novelty, you know this
• 47:08
  about me. I love switching things up,
• 47:10
  having autonomy. That's why I love
• 47:12
  entrepreneurship. The idea of being like I'm only
• 47:15
  known for one thing terrifies me.
• 47:19
  And what I get from your story and like hearing it back, you
• 47:23
  know, all these years later, is that the category of what?
• 47:28
  It's not one for the rest of your life.
• 47:30
  It's the 1:00 today. Yes, yes.
• 47:32
  Because I am going to have more lived experience.
• 47:34
  My kids are three and five right now.
• 47:35
  I don't have preteen kids. I haven't gone through
• 47:38
  menopause. You know, like there's still
• 47:41
  things that I will be going through that will add to my
• 47:43
  category of 1 toolkit. And what I kind of also get from
• 47:47
  your story was that like, there's been pivots.
• 47:48
  Like, for instance, winning Academy, you said was a
• 47:51
  successful business that was a category of one people you were
• 47:54
  you guys did so well. You did so well in that people
• 47:56
  knew how to refer you, but you yourself outgrew it.
• 47:59
  And it's almost like you would collected so much other lived
• 48:02
  life experience to divorces life and you're like, cool, I'm ready
• 48:06
  to like step into another category of 1.
• 48:09
  And that just feels like such a a light for me of being like,
• 48:12
  right. It's not that you're committing
• 48:14
  yourself for life for life. Like my like podcast cover art.
• 48:19
  I'm like twitch my eyes. Sometimes I'm like, Oh, I wanna
• 48:21
  change it so badly. My husband, Scott, he's like,
• 48:23
  just stop rebranding. Like just chill.
• 48:25
  Like it's fine, but I get so scared like, Oh my God, is this
• 48:29
  it for life? No, no decision is like is for
• 48:33
  life. And to your point, like every
• 48:34
  positive, anemic, negative experience, every flop or
• 48:37
  whatever you want to call it, opportunity, learning, growing
• 48:39
  edge, it all just adds to it, which is great.
• 48:43
  Like that's such a thing. Like I bring up my husband's
• 48:46
  health story all the freaking time, but I do I really and and
• 48:49
  kids and stuff like that because to me, those are life
• 48:51
  experiences that have shaped me in a way that nothing else
• 48:54
  could. Have exactly.
• 48:55
  And like that comes into my category of 1 hence why I.
• 48:58
  The podcast, Yeah, Like you tell a story.
• 49:00
  If it wasn't apparent too, like probably shouldn't have a
• 49:03
  parenting podcast. I know yes, there's like
• 49:06
  thoughts on that, but I don't want to hear a podcast on
• 49:09
  parenting from a non parent. Like who's hosting it?
• 49:12
  They don't know the questions to ask.
• 49:14
  Just like you're entrepreneurial podcast, like if you weren't an
• 49:16
  entrepreneur hosting social CEO podcast, it would be different
• 49:21
  if you were like, tell me about entrepreneur because I don't
• 49:24
  know it. You know, there's like there's
• 49:25
  something to it. And yeah, I think you've you've
• 49:28
  really hit the nail on the head. And when I think of my own
• 49:30
  iterations, it was coach become out of coaching school and
• 49:33
  they're like, you can coach anybody.
• 49:35
  Yes, OK. The worst advice?
• 49:37
  I had the audacity to coach one of the SVP's at a very big
• 49:42
  organization. I was working for, not the and,
• 49:44
  and I did. I was great.
• 49:46
  You know, I did, I did well. We had a wonderful relationship.
• 49:49
  But I remember coming out of that, I'm like, no, I don't
• 49:52
  think I was the one for him. I wasn't the one.
• 49:55
  And it wasn't like the client for me either.
• 49:57
  Yeah. And then I was like, you know
• 49:59
  what? I love career stories.
• 50:00
  Like I'm obsessed with people's career stories.
• 50:02
  I think they're so fun. I'm going to be a career coach.
• 50:04
  And still people didn't know how to refer me.
• 50:07
  And then I had a kids. And then I was like, who's
• 50:10
  helping the parents with all this?
• 50:11
  This is wild. And then boom, people are like,
• 50:14
  I know exactly what you do. Like a perfect example of that
• 50:18
  around like the in, Yeah. How do you get down to it
• 50:21
  doesn't have to be so restrictive.
• 50:23
  It's not like between these ages and that like I think some
• 50:26
  people get so hung up in the like the hard demographics of
• 50:30
  the thing and it's like, no, it's like you help you help
• 50:33
  parents. It's like through career stuff
• 50:36
  and life stuff. And that's niche enough, you
• 50:39
  know, like that's category of 1 enough.
• 50:41
  Where do you see your category of 1 evolving to?
• 50:44
  Oh, this is such a good question.
• 50:46
  I feel like I'm so in it right now that I don't see it.
• 50:51
  Like I don't know where it would go from here necessarily.
• 50:56
  You're. At the top.
• 50:57
  Yeah, no, I'm not at the top. It's just that I'm like, so in
• 51:00
  this like space right now, it's like I love the work that I'm
• 51:04
  doing. I love the the kinds of women
• 51:08
  that I get to work with specifically.
• 51:10
  And I could see, I guess like one of the things that I could
• 51:13
  see is bringing in a bit more at the corporate stuff again, um,
• 51:18
  and helping companies take their IP and scale it across their
• 51:23
  organizations. Maybe that's something I've been
• 51:26
  playing with the other. And I always share this because
• 51:28
  I feel like I, if I shared enough, it's going to happen.
• 51:32
  The other thing I'm holding in my vision for the future is a
• 51:36
  retreat space, like a, a physical space.
• 51:39
  And so I have this vision for having a space where because I
• 51:45
  find, and I don't know if you find this, but it's like in
• 51:47
  that, that space, there's either like super woo or it's like
• 51:51
  yoga, you know, all that stuff, which I love, but it's
• 51:54
  different. And then there's the like very
• 51:55
  corporate. And again, there's nothing in
• 51:58
  between, no. And so it's like this idea of
• 52:00
  this soulful CEO of having this like beautiful space that feels
• 52:04
  very like spacious and, and cleansing and all of that, but
• 52:09
  also have it be functional for not just like breath work and
• 52:14
  yoga and, and things like that. So that's in my vision for the
• 52:18
  future. When that happens, I don't know,
• 52:20
  but those are a few things that I'm holding right now.
• 52:22
  I love that I can see it and there's a comfortability around
• 52:25
  it. Like it's like just telling, I
• 52:27
  don't know, telling like the the whole corporate group to come
• 52:30
  and like take off your clothes and do some sort of like bath
• 52:33
  together. It's like that just like
• 52:34
  probably isn't going to happen. Like what's the middle ground?
• 52:37
  Like how can you give them that like luxurious experience?
• 52:40
  How can you give them that like grounding experience while still
• 52:43
  making them feel comfortable? Yeah.
• 52:44
  And while still being productive.
• 52:45
  And I love that's something I think that we just were so
• 52:48
  aligned on is like the duality of life.
• 52:50
  And I think that's a feminine energy.
• 52:52
  It's like we are so capable and willing to be like, yes, like
• 52:56
  you're so freaking smart when it comes to business.
• 52:58
  And I could be like, so tell me what crystals you've got today.
• 53:02
  You gave me my first crystals, actually.
• 53:04
  I know, I was so excited when I came here first Crystal.
• 53:07
  I've never actually like grown the collection.
• 53:09
  Yeah, I still just have. I think you gave me.
• 53:11
  Oh no, I think I bought 1 little ones.
• 53:12
  It's just I have 3 little crystals, 2 of them you gave me.
• 53:15
  Yeah. 1 is a citrine, 1 is Gray. I don't know.
• 53:17
  Yeah, I think it takes out the negative energy.
• 53:20
  But like that, I love that. I love people like you and I
• 53:24
  love this. I love the retreat space for
• 53:26
  you. And if anyone's listening and
• 53:28
  it's got something for Christian in this world, who knows?
• 53:30
  That's why I just keeps talking about it because that's been my
• 53:33
  experience in life is like you talk about it enough.
• 53:36
  It's like kind of like your story that you kicked off with
• 53:38
  and then people start to hear it and think about you and
• 53:42
  opportunities come. And so I'm not attached to when
• 53:44
  it happens. I know it will at some point.
• 53:46
  And yeah, I'm excited to see where it goes.
• 53:49
  OK, this might be the repeat question, but I always ask
• 53:52
  everyone what are you still trying to figure out as it comes
• 53:54
  to, you know, I'm just gonna ask that in a general sense, not
• 53:56
  even category of one in life, what are you still trying to
• 53:59
  figure out? I'm a big believer that we all
• 54:01
  kind of have, you can call them like lessons that were like here
• 54:05
  to learn. And my big lesson, I'm convinced
• 54:09
  is because it keeps coming back is this idea of how to blend joy
• 54:17
  and work. So one of the things that, you
• 54:20
  know, I like you brought up and I brought up is like, I'm, no,
• 54:25
  I'm not averse to hard work is like I actually enjoy it.
• 54:29
  I love building and I like, but at the same time, how do I do
• 54:33
  that and blend like joy and life at the same time?
• 54:37
  And it's been a big thing for me in the last three months
• 54:40
  specifically because we just made a move over to the
• 54:43
  sunshine. Most bought a house over there
• 54:45
  and I it's been the most interesting experience.
• 54:48
  And I just did a podcast episode on my podcast yesterday about it
• 54:53
  because I went dark on my podcast for three months and I
• 54:56
  moved over there. I didn't have the intention of
• 54:58
  doing that. And I was like setting up my
• 55:00
  podcast studio. It was just wasn't coming along
• 55:02
  fast enough. I'm like, oh, next month I'll
• 55:04
  launch, next month I'll launch next month I'll launch.
• 55:07
  But I was in this like it. The only way I can describe it
• 55:11
  is almost like the dog days of summer, like, you know, those
• 55:14
  like late August days here in Vancouver anyways.
• 55:18
  And it's like the best time of year.
• 55:20
  And it's so the days are long, it's hot, you're at the beach,
• 55:24
  but you kind of have this feeling like, oh, it's going to
• 55:27
  end. Like, I don't know if you've
• 55:29
  ever experienced that. You're like, it's coming to an
• 55:31
  end. And I've experienced that the
• 55:33
  last three months being over there because I've given myself
• 55:36
  some space and permission to like ease up on output and, and
• 55:40
  how much I'm working and what I'm like, I haven't had any
• 55:43
  goals for the quarter one, which is very odd for me in my
• 55:46
  business. But I'm just like, I'm just
• 55:48
  gonna do what's on like what's here.
• 55:51
  And I've been having this feeling of like, oh, but it's
• 55:55
  going to end. And I've been working with my
• 55:58
  support team on this and then being like, well, why, Why does
• 56:01
  it have to end? Why can't I integrate this in a
• 56:05
  bigger and better way? So it's like that is the, that
• 56:08
  is life rather than it being work and life.
• 56:11
  And so that's what I haven't figured out yet.
• 56:14
  And I don't know if I ever will fully because I think that
• 56:16
  that's probably my, my, well, hopefully I will, but I'm it's
• 56:20
  an ongoing process for me. And how interesting if you are
• 56:25
  able to share that you've landed a massive, really fun client
• 56:30
  that you're excited about in this time.
• 56:33
  It's super interesting. And so that was such a, you
• 56:37
  know, again, lessons and like just a little nudge from the
• 56:40
  universe or what whoever that it's like.
• 56:43
  Yeah, you actually don't have to be like working really hard to
• 56:47
  create these kinds of opportunities.
• 56:49
  And so, yeah, in this like in this time, this more like not so
• 56:56
  productive time. I landed this really amazing
• 57:01
  contract for a year with a client I'm so excited to work
• 57:04
  with. She's doing some incredible work
• 57:07
  in the world. And yeah, it's just, it's so
• 57:10
  good on so many levels. Roof because you are and have
• 57:16
  built your category of 1. Hmm.
• 57:18
  Yeah, yeah. Oh my goodness.
• 57:20
  OK, Kristen, people are going to be quitting their jobs left,
• 57:24
  right and centre, being like, OK, you're hired, how can
• 57:27
  anybody work with you? What have you got coming up?
• 57:30
  Yeah, there's lots of different way or a few different ways, I
• 57:33
  shouldn't say lots of different ways, a few different ways.
• 57:35
  But the, you know, one offer I've been really leaning into
• 57:40
  over the last few months has been this intensive.
• 57:42
  So it's called the Codify Your Brilliance intensive.
• 57:46
  And this is, again, kind of a side note, but with AI, there's
• 57:50
  so much cool stuff that we can do as people who have
• 57:54
  intellectual property that we can codify.
• 57:58
  And So what I've been doing is working with my AI team members,
• 58:01
  taking all of my frameworks and my methods and how I would help
• 58:05
  people over the course of three months, training my AI team
• 58:08
  members and then doing what I call an extraction session with
• 58:12
  them. So it's a 2 hour extraction
• 58:15
  session where I follow like it'll loose framework, but
• 58:18
  really I'm just like pulling out what I need.
• 58:21
  I know what I need. And then I put it into my AIT
• 58:24
  members to create this category of 1 playbook.
• 58:28
  And it's so cool to see the output of it.
• 58:31
  And so a lot of people who have been like taking me up on this
• 58:35
  offer or people who are in transition, so, you know, they
• 58:38
  kind of know intuitively what they want to do, but haven't
• 58:41
  been able to put it to words yet.
• 58:42
  And then also people who have been doing what they've been
• 58:45
  doing for a while, but haven't differentiated themselves fully.
• 58:49
  So that's the one space I would encourage anyone who's listening
• 58:52
  that's kind of like think that, oh, this sounds interesting.
• 58:54
  Or what is my category of 1? Go check that out because it's a
• 58:58
  really accessible way to nail this down without taking months.
• 59:02
  Um, and you know, I remember when we did this work, you were
• 59:06
  like, it's been seven years in the making.
• 59:10
  I did say that. I did say that.
• 59:12
  It's like that's so common for people as they dance around this
• 59:15
  conversation forever, and it just doesn't have to be that
• 59:18
  way. So yeah.
• 59:19
  And it's so insane how quickly, how quickly results can come
• 59:25
  because you and it's like you plus your, yes, your AI, but
• 59:29
  it's you like you're like, I know exactly the question to
• 59:32
  ask. Like there was patterns over the
• 59:34
  thousands of entrepreneurs, humans that you've worked with
• 59:36
  over the years. You're like, I know the next
• 59:38
  question and I know the next question and you just
• 59:41
  extrapolate it. Oh, that's another.
• 59:42
  Good word. Extract, extract and
• 59:45
  extrapolate, yeah. So intense, so away from.
• 59:51
  Feel like sweating when you come in?
• 59:52
  Sit down. What is going to happen to me?
• 59:54
  Excavate. This, Oh my gosh, I have a
• 59:58
  little boy who is like really getting into the trucks and
• 1:00:00
  stuff. It's so bizarre for me.
• 1:00:01
  And all these words. I'm like, God, I think this is
• 1:00:04
  my future. So here we go.
• 1:00:05
  Kristen Coswell, thank you so much.
• 1:00:08
  Thanks for. Helping all your links put all
• 1:00:10
  your socials in the in the show notes about your friggin
• 1:00:12
  amazing. I'm so honored to know you be
• 1:00:15
  your friend and I. So this was the this was the
• 1:00:19
  episode we needed to record. I likewise thank you for having
• 1:00:22
  me.