Latest / It's Open with Ilana Glazer / All About Women

Transcript

All About Women · It's Open with Ilana Glazer

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_02: Hey openers, welcome to It's Open with Alana Glazer.
• 0:03
  SPEAKER_02: Um, this is the third of three compilation episodes.
• 0:06
  SPEAKER_02: After this, we're taking a little break and we'll come back September 24th for season two.
• 0:10
  SPEAKER_02: This episode, this compilation episode is about women stuff.
• 0:15
  SPEAKER_02: I love women.
• 0:16
  SPEAKER_02: I love women.
• 0:18
  SPEAKER_02: We are so funny, we are so brilliant, we are so powerful in the face of the power structure trying to keep us down.
• 0:26
  SPEAKER_02: I just love being a woman.
• 0:27
  SPEAKER_02: We talk about it a lot.
• 0:28
  SPEAKER_02: I want to also articulate I love women across the gender spectrum, the racial spectrum, the socioeconomic spectrum.
• 0:35
  SPEAKER_02: Um women fucking rock and are amazing and delight and fascinate me only increasingly throughout my life, my 39 years thus far.
• 0:47
  SPEAKER_02: So upon reflection, we talk about it a lot and uh wanted to just organize it a little bit all into one little pot for you to take a sip out of.
• 0:58
  SPEAKER_02: I don't know, guys.
• 0:59
  SPEAKER_02: Let's just roll into the episode.
• 1:02
  SPEAKER_02: I love women.
• 1:07
  SPEAKER_02: Just reflecting, thinking about us being young women in the early 2000s, which was a dangerous time.
• 1:14
  SPEAKER_02: And you and I, you know, clearly whatever we had, you know, I an energy that I think we share and an ambition and looking out into the world.
• 1:23
  SPEAKER_02: And um, as a young woman who developed early, and I kind of have had this body since I'm 10 years old, getting the attention from grown-ups.
• 1:33
  SPEAKER_02: Dude.
• 1:34
  SPEAKER_02: And mostly men, some women, getting attention that I was like, oh, the world is unsafe for me.
• 1:41
  SPEAKER_02: This is unsafe.
• 1:42
  SPEAKER_02: Now, this is it's 2026.
• 1:44
  SPEAKER_02: I'm talking, you know, 2000, I'm 13 years old.
• 1:47
  SPEAKER_02: 2001, I'm 14 years old.
• 1:49
  SPEAKER_02: I can't believe when I get to the city, cat call, I'm like, do you know I'm 18?
• 1:54
  SPEAKER_02: I'm this is I'm scared, you know, feeling so angry.
• 1:56
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 1:57
  SPEAKER_02: And I used to have a fire in me because I felt scared.
• 2:00
  SPEAKER_02: It's like a little doggy getting, you know, and it's like, rah, you know, I'd be like, fuck off.
• 2:04
  SPEAKER_02: Like, this is scary, right?
• 2:06
  SPEAKER_02: But then fast forward 25 years later, you and I are adults now.
• 2:09
  SPEAKER_02: We're in the world, and we're affirmed that it was actually worse than I never would have dared imagine because it is too disgusting and it is too chilling to my bones and terrifies me.
• 2:26
  SPEAKER_02: And I just wanted to connect those dots, you know, where we hold all this time that we've lived.
• 2:30
  SPEAKER_02: Can you believe?
• 2:32
  SPEAKER_02: Can you even believe so crazy?
• 2:36
  SPEAKER_01: And you're right, because it's like the depravity of this stuff, you know, is just too I mean, it's just like it was just too much to believe.
• 2:50
  SPEAKER_01: Like if and and truly, you tell someone this before all this stuff drops, you tell someone this, and you're like, okay, it is a level of human depravity that is, I think, too, too much to even consider being real until you see this, and looking back on it too, it's um how we grew up, and it's like you're looking back at like limited to Dilias, wet seal, yeah.
• 3:29
  SPEAKER_01: And it and like it was this culture that was created.
• 3:35
  SPEAKER_02: We've talked about um getting big titties young, you and I.
• 3:38
  SPEAKER_02: You know, and it's like when when you get big titties young, you're like, oh, like you sexualized, yeah.
• 3:45
  SPEAKER_02: You wanna fuck kids.
• 3:46
  SPEAKER_02: Yes, literally.
• 3:47
  SPEAKER_02: That's like I I got titties at nine, like you know, they were like there, and they were like big by 10 or 11.
• 3:53
  SPEAKER_02: And it was like, oh my god, like adults wanna fuck kids.
• 3:56
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, and speaking of men getting away with shit, the the situation, the the alien, absurd farce that we're living inside of right now, like men get away with every fucking thing that they want, and a lot of white women too.
• 4:10
  SPEAKER_02: So it's like, you know, and it's like so it's just it's it's um in poor taste, I would say.
• 4:16
  SPEAKER_02: Like the joke might be um uh good joke formula set up and punch well.
• 4:22
  SPEAKER_02: It might be like authentic for that person, but like it just it isn't um yeah, they're really good people that are also talented, right?
• 4:31
  SPEAKER_03: Maybe you just have to look a little harder, right?
• 4:33
  SPEAKER_03: We are here, right?
• 4:34
  SPEAKER_03: We exist, and um I used to I guess I had a bit of insomnia when I was growing up the way you described it.
• 4:44
  SPEAKER_03: I was like, it's that doesn't happen to everybody, but it it does link to having a very mature body.
• 4:54
  SPEAKER_02: Yes, and then like meaning being like scared of it and waking up and being like, oof, having like fear or anxiety.
• 4:59
  SPEAKER_03: Well, just yeah, and just I would actually go through the whole day of like I would think before bed, like the whole day of the things that people have said to me that I could have said back.
• 5:09
  SPEAKER_03: Totally, whether it's men on the streets or guys, or boys, or teachers.
• 5:16
  SPEAKER_02: You recently posted this like very interesting and cool post about the way you dress not being for the male gays and how this relates to, I guess, the mask femme thing of um, you know, and and uh your support of the trans community and the queer community.
• 5:33
  SPEAKER_02: Right, right.
• 5:34
  SPEAKER_04: Tell me more about it.
• 5:35
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, so it comes from, right?
• 5:36
  SPEAKER_04: Like you were saying, I mean, the it is these guys.
• 5:39
  SPEAKER_04: Sometimes I still get like, you know, a trolling comment online, and it is these guys that, well, they won't show their pictures, I don't know what they look like, but I'm guessing not good.
• 5:49
  SPEAKER_04: That it's like not good, you know.
• 5:51
  SPEAKER_04: I don't care what you look like, but um they hate my hair, they hate that it's not it's not long, you know what I mean?
• 5:59
  SPEAKER_04: Like, girls, girls long hair, boys short hair.
• 6:02
  SPEAKER_04: What do you mean?
• 6:03
  SPEAKER_04: And and don't you get near my butt?
• 6:06
  SPEAKER_04: You know, that's kind of the subtext is like, don't you get near my butt?
• 6:10
  SPEAKER_04: This is upsetting me.
• 6:11
  SPEAKER_04: Why am I mad?
• 6:12
  SPEAKER_02: And then the sub-subtext is please get near my butt, please penetrate my butt.
• 6:16
  SPEAKER_04: I'm the keeper of this information, you know.
• 6:19
  SPEAKER_04: People who are like, Oh, your hair, why so short?
• 6:23
  SPEAKER_04: Why do I like it?
• 6:25
  SPEAKER_04: I'm like, I don't know.
• 6:26
  SPEAKER_02: Please, I'm just um they're trying to have dinner.
• 6:30
  SPEAKER_02: Subtext, I desperately want to fuck you.
• 6:33
  SPEAKER_02: It's it's a it's a horrible feeling to hold someone else's like dark, knotty, knotted up energy.
• 6:40
  SPEAKER_04: Yes, yes.
• 6:41
  SPEAKER_04: So it's um that's uh so you know, and I'm kind of like, well, I don't want that kind of person attracted to me.
• 6:48
  SPEAKER_04: Correct.
• 6:49
  SPEAKER_04: Like I'm so glad you don't want to hook up with me.
• 6:52
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, that that would be bad.
• 6:54
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, I think that would be bad.
• 6:55
  SPEAKER_04: Literally dangerous, yeah, scary, yeah, and also uh I would want to, for me, I would want to do some soul searching or I would want to change my look because of it.
• 7:04
  SPEAKER_04: I'd be like, oh wait, no, you're the kind of person that like trolls people and spews hate and says transphobic things.
• 7:12
  SPEAKER_04: Oh, that's who I'm attracting to.
• 7:14
  SPEAKER_04: I don't want to do that.
• 7:16
  SPEAKER_02: Jumping in here with my ground news segment.
• 7:18
  SPEAKER_02: So Ground News is a website and an app that collects uh articles from all over the world and organizes them into left-leaning, center, and right-leaning biases.
• 7:29
  SPEAKER_02: It'll also show where the news source is, who the news source is owned by, as well as whether this is original or recycled reporting.
• 7:36
  SPEAKER_02: I love this about ground news.
• 7:38
  SPEAKER_02: Um, it helps me understand that the news is um a device for controlling people.
• 7:48
  SPEAKER_02: Like essentially, like good reporting, like grips people, makes them understand things clearly, but also it can be used uh to control people.
• 7:56
  SPEAKER_02: And I feel like that control is very much lifted when I'm taking my news in via ground news because I feel like I'm in control.
• 8:03
  SPEAKER_02: I'm seeing uh, I have a much wider perspective when I take in my news via ground news.
• 8:10
  SPEAKER_02: And I'll show you, I'll show you how.
• 8:12
  SPEAKER_02: So um, this article is the Czech government plans to ban mobile phones in schools from 2027.
• 8:17
  SPEAKER_02: I'm very invested in this.
• 8:19
  SPEAKER_02: I've been organizing about anti-AI in New York City schools, and I'm curious how uh other school districts and other and also other countries are um getting technology and screens and phones and social media and AI out of classrooms because we here in the United States are um we're having an onslaught that is totally non-consensual and it's scary.
• 8:41
  SPEAKER_02: So this is crazy.
• 8:42
  SPEAKER_02: It's not even like a district, it's like a Czech.
• 8:44
  SPEAKER_02: Czechoslovakia is gonna ban mobile phones from schools starting in 2027 from the center.
• 8:52
  SPEAKER_02: Czech government plans to ban mobile phones.
• 8:54
  SPEAKER_02: How is the right covering this?
• 8:57
  SPEAKER_02: The same damn way, dude.
• 8:59
  SPEAKER_02: You know, what I'm seeing here is that uh this topic of banning technology in schools is not um polarizing.
• 9:06
  SPEAKER_02: It's not a political tool that people at the top can pull the strings and manipulate us about.
• 9:12
  SPEAKER_02: Parents on the ground in communities know that less technology in schools is better for kids.
• 9:18
  SPEAKER_02: So that is interesting and affirming and actually gives me hope.
• 9:21
  SPEAKER_02: Um, if you want this same experience of taking your news in with more um reflection and more space for you to form your own opinions around the news cycle, go to groundnews.com forward slash open for 40% off the vantage plan.
• 9:38
  SPEAKER_02: Um ground news is female founded and subscriber funded.
• 9:43
  SPEAKER_02: So the reason I take in my news through ground news is because I feel like I'm actually sharing reality with others.
• 9:49
  SPEAKER_02: And the fact that it's subscriber funded makes me feel like we are investing in a shared reality ourselves.
• 9:55
  SPEAKER_02: So you can get this opportunity to get 40% off the vantage plan, which is the one that I use every day.
• 10:00
  SPEAKER_02: Um a direct link in the episode description on any of the platforms where you listen to or watch.
• 10:06
  SPEAKER_02: It's open with Alana Glazer.
• 10:08
  SPEAKER_01: You had bought like bulk, like the tri-color raisin.
• 10:12
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 10:13
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, I believe.
• 10:18
  SPEAKER_02: Because we were trying to cut bread.
• 10:19
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, we were trying to cut bread.
• 10:20
  SPEAKER_02: And I remember a time that I said to you, Abby, I was like, oh, cut bread.
• 10:24
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, good but good by doing it with like just raisins.
• 10:30
  SPEAKER_02: No bread, only raisins.
• 10:32
  SPEAKER_02: You know what uh the health uh experts say swap bread and raisins.
• 10:37
  SPEAKER_02: Um I remember one time when I was like, we were like getting into paleo eating, and I I I would totally own up to it being disordered eating.
• 10:46
  SPEAKER_02: I don't think it was.
• 10:47
  SPEAKER_02: I think we were genuinely, was it?
• 10:49
  SPEAKER_00: But I know in my heart of heart of heart that I think I'd I'd love, I'd love, I'd love it, I'd love a child.
• 10:55
  SPEAKER_00: And I think I'd I think I'd be a really good mum.
• 10:57
  SPEAKER_03: You would be.
• 10:58
  SPEAKER_00: And I think that if I don't do it, I think I'd wake up at 50 and be really, really sad that I didn't do it.
• 11:04
  SPEAKER_00: And I think while being a mother, you know, obviously I know that women, it's a really sensitive topic for some women because they're like, how dare you tell me that I don't know what real love is?
• 11:15
  SPEAKER_00: And you know, these kind of like stereotypes.
• 11:17
  SPEAKER_00: And I I can't bear the the anime this when women I don't like when women no kids talk about how great it is.
• 11:26
  SPEAKER_00: And I don't, I don't like when the two women go, I don't like when those two versions of women go against each other.
• 11:30
  SPEAKER_00: I don't like it.
• 11:31
  SPEAKER_02: You know what it is is like in in the United States, there's this like literally like multi, multi-billion dollar hate machine, a messaging machine that is like now the Republican Party and the Conservative Movement and Turning Point.
• 11:43
  SPEAKER_02: It's all hatred, it's racism, it's misogyny.
• 11:45
  SPEAKER_02: They pit women against each other.
• 11:46
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 11:47
  SPEAKER_02: And like, of course, there is tension.
• 11:48
  SPEAKER_02: Like if there is tension.
• 11:50
  SPEAKER_02: There is, there's naturally tension, of course, but they blow up that divide.
• 11:54
  SPEAKER_02: And it's like, well, I actually like we kind of also need each other.
• 11:57
  SPEAKER_02: My parents who don't have kids, I need my friends who don't have kids.
• 12:00
  SPEAKER_02: They like to see a little kid running around saying funny shit.
• 12:03
  SPEAKER_00: My my friends who are mothers are like, these women are in the fucking trenches, like these women are raising human beings.
• 12:08
  SPEAKER_00: Like, like I come home in the evening, I have my biological age tested recently and it came back as 20.
• 12:15
  SPEAKER_00: Oh my god! So funny.
• 12:17
  SPEAKER_00: Because I have no children, I sleep all the time.
• 12:21
  SPEAKER_00: I nap at the drop of a hat.
• 12:23
  SPEAKER_00: I put myself down regularly throughout the day, straight into the cough in the in the sometimes.
• 12:28
  SPEAKER_00: I get up and go straight because sometimes I get up and be like, it's not, I just feel in my soul it's not time yet.
• 12:32
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, 100.
• 12:33
  SPEAKER_00: And I go back to bed till 11 a.m.
• 12:35
  SPEAKER_00: Like I'm very much very relaxed.
• 12:37
  SPEAKER_02: That's the hardest part of parenting.
• 12:38
  SPEAKER_02: Exactly.
• 12:39
  SPEAKER_02: That is the hardest part.
• 12:40
  SPEAKER_02: But you now are established enough to do it, I'll say.
• 12:44
  SPEAKER_00: I think so.
• 12:44
  SPEAKER_00: I think names.
• 12:45
  SPEAKER_02: To pay for help as long as you have help.
• 12:47
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I think I can take the foot off the gas a little bit now when paenophile ends, and I will buy some stunning sperm, or I will do it.
• 12:54
  SPEAKER_00: I've uh plans to do it maybe with my friend Ross, who's gay.
• 12:58
  SPEAKER_00: He's very into having kids.
• 12:59
  SPEAKER_00: I was like, it's not gonna be the one isn't it?
• 13:02
  SPEAKER_00: No, that is a good one.
• 13:03
  SPEAKER_02: I agree because then you can have a weekend.
• 13:06
  SPEAKER_02: 100.
• 13:06
  SPEAKER_02: Does he have a partner?
• 13:07
  SPEAKER_00: No, great, yeah, even better.
• 13:09
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, he'll die alone like me.
• 13:11
  SPEAKER_00: It'd be fantastic.
• 13:12
  SPEAKER_02: Maybe you guys would die together.
• 13:13
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, that's that's a great plan.
• 13:15
  SPEAKER_00: People people are like, oh, hold on, is that wise?
• 13:16
  SPEAKER_00: I'm like, yes, because when you're in a romantic relationship, a lot more stuff can go wrong because you're relying on each other to be romantically uh like loyal and all that stuff.
• 13:25
  SPEAKER_00: Whereas with me and Ross, we're ne there's no there's no room for any romantic betrayal, letdown, anything.
• 13:31
  SPEAKER_00: Like there's no room, there's not there's less chance of a fallout.
• 13:35
  SPEAKER_00: 100.
• 13:35
  SPEAKER_00: It's a great plan.
• 13:36
  SPEAKER_00: I'll be like, go and ride that lad, like go and ride all the men in the team.
• 13:39
  SPEAKER_00: 100.
• 13:40
  SPEAKER_00: And then and then when I'm on tour, this is you see, this is the funny thing.
• 13:43
  SPEAKER_00: I'm already talking about trying to get rid of the child.
• 13:46
  SPEAKER_00: I haven't even had the child.
• 13:47
  SPEAKER_00: I'm like, you go to your daddy's.
• 13:49
  SPEAKER_00: 100%.
• 13:50
  SPEAKER_00: You go to your daddy's because mommy has to go to Australia for work.
• 13:53
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 13:53
  SPEAKER_00: And you're gonna go to your daddy's for the summer.
• 13:55
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 13:55
  SPEAKER_02: Because if it's only on me, yeah, that's too much.
• 13:58
  SPEAKER_02: You'd love it.
• 13:58
  SPEAKER_02: And and we were talking about like this narrative of like, it's so hard, it's so hard.
• 14:02
  SPEAKER_02: You know, first of all, I think that's like a reductive, easy narrative for comedy, for TV, whatever.
• 14:07
  SPEAKER_02: I also think it's really positive that we have space for women to complain about how fucking hard it is.
• 14:12
  SPEAKER_02: A billion percent.
• 14:13
  SPEAKER_02: So I like that women get to talk about like the negativity and the depression.
• 14:17
  SPEAKER_02: A hundred percent.
• 14:18
  SPEAKER_02: I think that we also just skip over the wonderment.
• 14:20
  SPEAKER_02: It is so fucking amazing, my experience so far.
• 14:24
  SPEAKER_00: And that's exactly it.
• 14:25
  SPEAKER_00: It's like there was a time where women couldn't say anything about how hard motherhood was.
• 14:29
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 14:30
  SPEAKER_00: And then it became like it was kind of the space was there to talk about it, and then it became almost kind of the thing to give out about.
• 14:37
  SPEAKER_00: That's right, that's right.
• 14:38
  SPEAKER_00: You know?
• 14:39
  SPEAKER_02: I want to thank uh producer Amanda Jane Stern and editor Kova Liebowitz for putting this episode together so beautifully.
• 14:45
  SPEAKER_02: This has been a Star Pix production, guys.
• 14:48
  SPEAKER_02: Humans only babe.
• 14:50
  SPEAKER_02: I want to thank Raimo Ventura for the gorgeous human-made art and intro musical sting, as well as Don Hur, the band with the outro musical sting.
• 14:58
  SPEAKER_02: That's Ellie Glazer, James Hines, and Derek Miro from Long Island Baby.
• 15:03
  SPEAKER_02: Listen, you know how the internet works.
• 15:06
  SPEAKER_02: I invite you to like, subscribe, and comment on YouTube and anywhere you podcast.
• 15:12
  SPEAKER_02: It helps build this community and helps us bring this show to you.
• 15:16
  SPEAKER_02: Um, that's it for season one.
• 15:18
  SPEAKER_02: That's a damn wrap.
• 15:20
  SPEAKER_02: It has been so fun and expansive and generative and creative making this show with the team that I have.
• 15:28
  SPEAKER_02: I want to thank Annika Carlson, David Brooklyn.
• 15:30
  SPEAKER_02: I want to thank Madeline Kim, Kelsey Kylie, and Glenis Mahar, um, the Brain Trust that initially uh launched this thing.
• 15:38
  SPEAKER_02: I want to thank again Amanda Jane Stern and Toba Liebowitz and Raymond Dunher, and all of you.
• 15:44
  SPEAKER_02: Thank you so much for listening.
• 15:46
  SPEAKER_02: It's um it's fucking amazing.
• 15:48
  SPEAKER_02: As like the person here sitting here, it's like, wow, can't believe it.
• 15:52
  SPEAKER_02: I thank you so much uh for joining us all on this journey, and I'm so excited and looking forward to returning for season two.
• 16:00
  SPEAKER_02: Have a great summer.
• 16:01
  SPEAKER_02: Take care of yourself.
• 16:02
  SPEAKER_02: Bye.