Latest / New Manager Conversations with Fexingo: First 90 Days, Managing Former Peers, and Leadership Basics / How New Managers Can Handle a Team Member Who Knows More Than Them
Transcript
- Lucas: Let me paint a picture. You have just been promoted to team lead. You are smart, you worked hard, you earned it. But one of your new direct reports — let us call her Priya — has been at the company four years longer than you, knows the codebase inside out, and frankly, could do your job in her sleep. And she knows it. Luna: That scenario is terrifying. And way more common than people admit. Lucas: It really is. Especially in technical fields — software engineering, data science, even marketing analytics. The person who gets promoted is often the one who is good at communicating and managing stakeholders, not necessarily the one with the deepest technical expertise. And then suddenly you are managing someone who is the actual expert. Luna: So what do you do on day one? Do you pretend you know more than you do? Lucas: Absolutely not. Pretending is the fastest way to lose credibility. Instead, you shift your role. You stop being the expert and start being the orchestrator. Luna: Orchestrator — I like that. Can you unpack it? Lucas: Sure. Think of it like a film director. The director does not need to be the best actor, the best cinematographer, or the best sound editor. But they need to know how to get the best out of each person, keep the project on schedule, and make sure the final product fits together. As a new manager, your job is not to out-code Priya. It is to give her the context, the priorities, and the resources she needs to do her best work, and then get out of her way. Luna: That requires a pretty big ego check. Most people become managers because they were good at the individual contributor work. Lucas: Exactly. And letting go of being the smartest person in the room is hard. But here is a concrete tactic I have seen work well. It is called 'delegating up.' Luna: Delegating up — meaning you delegate to someone who is more senior than you in a specific area? Lucas: Right. You formally hand over ownership of a technical decision or workstream to Priya. You say something like, 'Priya, you are the expert on the migration. I want you to own the technical approach, the timeline, and the risk assessment. I will handle the stakeholder communication and remove blockers. Here is the business context, here is the deadline, and here is how I will support you. I trust your judgment.' Luna: That is very different from just letting her do whatever she wants. You are setting boundaries and expectations. Lucas: Exactly. And it accomplishes three things. First, it shows Priya that you respect her expertise and are not threatened by it. Second, it frees you up to focus on the parts of the role that actually need your skills — communication, prioritization, stakeholder management. Third, it creates a clear accountability structure. She owns the outcome, you own the context. Luna: What if Priya resents being managed by someone less experienced? That has to come up. Lucas: It can. But in my experience, most senior team members do not actually want to be managers themselves. They want autonomy, respect, and to work on interesting problems. If you give them that, they usually relax. The danger is when you try to micromanage or pretend you have all the answers. That is when resentment builds. Luna: So the key is to be honest about what you know and what you do not know. Lucas: Yes. And to ask good questions. One of the most powerful phrases a new manager can use is, 'Help me understand this.' It is not a sign of weakness. It shows you are curious and willing to learn. And it positions you as someone who values their expertise. Luna: I have heard managers worry that asking questions will make them look incompetent. Lucas: That fear is real. But the opposite is usually true. If you pretend to understand and then make a bad decision based on incomplete knowledge, that is what destroys credibility. Asking questions shows confidence. You are secure enough to admit you do not know everything. Luna: What about the rest of the team? If they see you deferring to Priya, do they start to wonder who is actually in charge? Lucas: That is a fair concern. And it is why you need to be explicit about roles. You can say in a team meeting, 'Priya is leading the technical direction on Project X. I am responsible for the overall timeline and stakeholder alignment. We will make decisions together.' That makes the structure transparent. The team sees that you are not abdicating authority — you are distributing it intentionally. Luna: So it is about being deliberate. Not just reactive. Lucas: Exactly. And here is another layer. You also need to invest in your own learning. Not to catch up to Priya — that is probably not realistic or necessary — but to build enough fluency to have credible conversations. Block an hour a week to read the code, review the architecture docs, or ask Priya to walk you through a recent change. That builds your own confidence and shows the team you are committed. Luna: That is smart. It is like learning the vocabulary without needing to be a poet. Lucas: Right. You do not need to write the poem. But you need to know what a sonnet is. And you need to be able to tell if one is good. Luna: I think this is one of those areas where a lot of new managers quietly struggle. They feel like imposters and they do not know who to talk to about it. Lucas: Absolutely. And that is why we do this show. If today's episode helped you think through a tricky situation with a talented team member, that is exactly what we are here for. And if you found it valuable enough to buy us a coffee, that link is buy me a coffee dot com slash fexingo. No pressure at all. Just a way to keep the show ad-free and focused on real, practical advice. Luna: Yeah, it genuinely helps. And we are grateful for every bit of support. Lucas: So back to the practical side. Let me give you a three-step plan for the first 30 days with a more expert team member. Luna: Perfect. Lay it out. Lucas: Step one: schedule a one-on-one where you explicitly acknowledge their expertise. Say, 'I know you have deep knowledge here and I want to leverage that.' Then ask them what they need from you to do their best work. Step two: define ownership boundaries together. Agree on what decisions they own and what decisions you need to be involved in. Write it down. Step three: set up a recurring checkpoint — not a status update, but a strategic conversation — where you talk about risks, priorities, and blockers. That keeps you aligned without micromanaging. Luna: I like that the first step is acknowledgment. It disarms any potential tension right away. Lucas: It really does. And it communicates that you are not there to compete with them. You are there to make them more effective. Luna: What about giving feedback to someone who knows more than you? That is another common fear. Lucas: It is. But feedback is not about technical correctness — it is about impact and behavior. You can say, 'When you presented the architecture to the VP, the level of detail was too deep for that audience. Next time, let us prep a high-level summary together.' That feedback is valid regardless of who has deeper tech knowledge. You are the manager, you see the bigger picture. Luna: So you are framing feedback around your perspective, not around being technically right. Lucas: Exactly. And if you are ever unsure, you can always ask, 'How do you think that went? What would you do differently?' That invites self-reflection and keeps the conversation collaborative. Luna: I think the deeper issue here is psychological. New managers often feel they have to prove they deserve the role. And having a more expert team member triggers that insecurity. Lucas: That is spot on. And the antidote is to redefine what 'deserving the role' means. You were not promoted because you were the best coder. You were promoted because you showed potential to lead, coordinate, and elevate the team. That is a different skill set. And it is one that Priya may not have or want. Luna: So you are not in competition with her. You are complementary. Lucas: Exactly. Your job is to make the whole team more than the sum of its parts. And sometimes that means being the least technically skilled person on the team — and totally okay with that. Luna: That is a really liberating way to think about it. Lucas: It is. And once you embrace that, you stop trying to be the smartest person in the room and start trying to be the person who makes everyone else smarter. Luna: I want to circle back to delegation. You mentioned delegating up. What if the expert team member is not interested in taking on more ownership? Lucas: That can happen. Some people just want to do their job and go home. And that is fine. In that case, you still need to respect their expertise, but you adjust your approach. You keep them in the loop, ask for their input on key decisions, but you do not offload ownership. You make the call yourself, with their advice. Luna: So it is a spectrum. You match the level of delegation to their appetite. Lucas: Exactly. And that is a core management skill — tailoring your style to each individual. The same person who wants full ownership of one project may want to just be an individual contributor on another. You have to read the room. Luna: Let us talk about the rest of the team again. If you have one star expert, how do you keep the others from feeling overshadowed? Lucas: That is a great question. You need to create space for everyone to contribute. One tactic is to rotate who leads certain discussions or projects. You can say, 'Priya, you lead the technical review. Sarah, you lead the customer impact analysis. Marcus, you lead the timeline planning.' That gives each person a chance to shine and shows you value diverse contributions. Luna: And it prevents the team from becoming dependent on one person. Lucas: Right. That is a single point of failure. And as a manager, part of your job is to build resilience. You want knowledge to be shared, not hoarded. So you might also create paired working sessions where Priya mentors a junior team member on a specific area. That leverages her expertise while building the team's overall capability. Luna: That is a win-win. Priya gets recognition and impact, the junior gets growth, and you get a stronger team. Lucas: Exactly. And it reinforces your role as the person who creates those opportunities. You are not competing with Priya. You are the person who made her a mentor and helped the team level up. Luna: I think that is the ultimate reframe. You are not the expert. You are the enabler. Lucas: That is the headline. If you can get comfortable with that, managing someone who knows more than you stops being a threat and starts being an asset. Luna: Alright, let me try to summarize what I took away. First, acknowledge the expert's expertise explicitly. Second, delegate ownership where appropriate — what you called 'delegating up.' Third, invest in your own fluency without trying to match them. Fourth, give feedback from your perspective, not from technical authority. And fifth, use the expert to lift the whole team. Lucas: That is a perfect summary. And one more thing — be patient with yourself. This is a skill like any other. You will get better with practice. And the fact that you are even thinking about it means you are already on the right track. Luna: Thanks, Lucas. That is reassuring.