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Monday Mini: Things Not to Say to an Ace Person · Stuff Mom Never Told You

• 0:05
  Speaker 1: Hey, this is Annie and Smith and welcome to Stephane
• 0:07
  Speaker 1: Never Told You production of I Heart Radio, and welcome
• 0:19
  Speaker 1: to another Monday Mini. I think this is this one's
• 0:23
  Speaker 1: going to be a shorter one, but we always say
• 0:25
  Speaker 1: that and it, you know, it never seems to happen.
• 0:28
  Speaker 1: I'm not gonna lie some of these things. It's gonna
• 0:30
  Speaker 1: make me go on a rant. Oh, I love it.
• 0:32
  Speaker 1: I love a good rant. Um. This is actually related.
• 0:36
  Speaker 1: We've been talking a lot about just the general poor
• 0:39
  Speaker 1: quality for women when it comes to just existing online, um,
• 0:46
  Speaker 1: including on dating apps. So with that being said, a
• 0:49
  Speaker 1: bit of a content warning for some of the grossness
• 0:52
  Speaker 1: many women do encounter on dating apps. We're not going
• 0:55
  Speaker 1: to go into anything too specific, but if you've been
• 0:59
  Speaker 1: on a dating app puzzle woman, then I bet you
• 1:01
  Speaker 1: know what we're talking about, right, Yes. So the idea
• 1:06
  Speaker 1: for this episode came up because recently Ish it was
• 1:10
  Speaker 1: International a Sexuality Day and thanks to everyone who sent
• 1:14
  Speaker 1: me messages that was very sweet. I wasn't expecting that
• 1:17
  Speaker 1: and I loved it. Because I've been more open about
• 1:21
  Speaker 1: my sexuality, I have gotten some comments now we're not great.
• 1:27
  Speaker 1: So I thought we could have a bit of A
• 1:29
  Speaker 1: P S A here and this is for you know,
• 1:33
  Speaker 1: none of you because you are the best. But I
• 1:35
  Speaker 1: bet that even if you aren't ACE, you can relate
• 1:38
  Speaker 1: to some of this. Um. So I thought we could
• 1:41
  Speaker 1: have this moment to just sort of there are some grievances,
• 1:45
  Speaker 1: shut some things down. Um And if some of these
• 1:48
  Speaker 1: things do sound familiar to you, like you said it
• 1:50
  Speaker 1: or you've done it, which would surprised me, I don't
• 1:52
  Speaker 1: think it's our fan base, our listener base and maybe
• 1:55
  Speaker 1: the newer listeners trying to figure out who we are
• 1:57
  Speaker 1: and what we're doing. And if it does sound familiar
• 2:00
  Speaker 1: to you, I need you to stop. We need we will.
• 2:03
  Speaker 1: We're going to have it, okay, Okay, yes, getting all
• 2:09
  Speaker 1: riled up all I'm telling you. Okay. So with that
• 2:13
  Speaker 1: being said, we're gonna just run through some things that
• 2:17
  Speaker 1: I actually heard on International a Sexuality Day. So yes, again,
• 2:25
  Speaker 1: do not say these things to someone who has come
• 2:28
  Speaker 1: out as a sexual are I will say, don't say
• 2:32
  Speaker 1: them to anybody unless you write, like, have a real
• 2:34
  Speaker 1: good beat on this is something that they would enjoy. Yes.
• 2:39
  Speaker 1: So number one, you just need my big dick, right.
• 2:44
  Speaker 1: So that's the first thing I saw I'm angry. I am.
• 2:48
  Speaker 1: I am very angry, and I really am, Like, what
• 2:52
  Speaker 1: for any context, for any person, anyone, If it's just
• 2:57
  Speaker 1: a woman just rejecting you and you say this, you
• 3:01
  Speaker 1: deserve to be kicked in your dick. Point, Like, I know,
• 3:08
  Speaker 1: violence is not the way, but there are causequences to actions,
• 3:13
  Speaker 1: even if you're hiding behind an app, yes, or a
• 3:18
  Speaker 1: screen or whatever. Yes. And one thing that really bothers
• 3:22
  Speaker 1: me about this, And again I know, like a lot
• 3:25
  Speaker 1: of women can relate to this comment, whether you're a
• 3:28
  Speaker 1: sexual or not. It's that idea that like kind of
• 3:33
  Speaker 1: the gone with the wind thing. If she was being
• 3:35
  Speaker 1: sort of grumpy, right, he knew she to feel better,
• 3:39
  Speaker 1: she needed sex and it was non consensual rape essentially,
• 3:45
  Speaker 1: and then she feels better, um or she's doing better,
• 3:49
  Speaker 1: which is gross and disgusting. And like this comment seems
• 3:53
  Speaker 1: to imply like I will fix what is wrong with you.
• 3:57
  Speaker 1: You just haven't. I've got the thing that you need girl.
• 4:00
  Speaker 1: All so, and a lot of this this inserts violence
• 4:06
  Speaker 1: and harassment. There's nothing cute about this, there's nothing funny
• 4:10
  Speaker 1: about this, this kind of statement as a heterosexual woman
• 4:15
  Speaker 1: wants to make me go celibate, and I'm not correlating
• 4:17
  Speaker 1: that to a sexuality, just in general, just to cut
• 4:20
  Speaker 1: out men for peace, I know, once again, like the
• 4:25
  Speaker 1: stuff we're putting up with on dating apps specifically, but
• 4:29
  Speaker 1: like just in general, it's ridiculous. This is this is ridiculous.
• 4:34
  Speaker 1: That is something that unfortunately can be a thing sort
• 4:38
  Speaker 1: of that like conversion therapy for a sexual people. It's
• 4:41
  Speaker 1: often you just need to have sex with me, um,
• 4:45
  Speaker 1: and there has been violence from that, and some of
• 4:46
  Speaker 1: your listeners have written in about that. So I hate that,
• 4:49
  Speaker 1: hate this whole thing. Another thing I heard was all
• 4:52
  Speaker 1: these other men just don't know how to please you.
• 4:55
  Speaker 1: You just haven't had sex with me yet. I can
• 4:58
  Speaker 1: cure you. No, and very heateronormative who knows what I've
• 5:04
  Speaker 1: been up to. You don't know right, And I'm gonna say,
• 5:08
  Speaker 1: because you have to say that out loud, you really
• 5:10
  Speaker 1: haven't probably played a woman in your head because you
• 5:14
  Speaker 1: have thought, hey, I came, so obviously she came. That's
• 5:18
  Speaker 1: that's a narrative. So you are not doing any favors
• 5:21
  Speaker 1: to yourself. This is little dick energy. If there is
• 5:25
  Speaker 1: a such thing, yes, yes, And also I just hate
• 5:31
  Speaker 1: you know, we try to make the point all the
• 5:33
  Speaker 1: time that sexism hurts everybody. I hate that like having
• 5:37
  Speaker 1: a big dick and like pleasing a woman and this
• 5:41
  Speaker 1: very head of renormative sense. I guess it's equated with
• 5:44
  Speaker 1: your masculinity and feeling good about yourself and like we
• 5:48
  Speaker 1: could have a whole conversation about like the hard to
• 5:51
  Speaker 1: get in the conquest aspect of it. But it's just harmful.
• 5:55
  Speaker 1: It's harmful to everybody. So good, this is the humanizing
• 5:59
  Speaker 1: in every way. Yes, yes, another thing I heard. You
• 6:03
  Speaker 1: just can't find a partner to put up with. You
• 6:06
  Speaker 1: are afraid of putting yourself out there. No, So the
• 6:12
  Speaker 1: meaning behind this I am to ascertain, I guess is
• 6:16
  Speaker 1: that I am a sexual, which I guess they're saying
• 6:20
  Speaker 1: I'm not actually because I can't find anybody, and therefore
• 6:27
  Speaker 1: I'll just go about my life like this because I'm
• 6:30
  Speaker 1: too afraid to put myself out there. Right? Is this
• 6:34
  Speaker 1: the same thing as like, oh, you're you're single, and
• 6:36
  Speaker 1: you say you choose to be single as but it's
• 6:38
  Speaker 1: really because you can't find anybody. Is that the level
• 6:41
  Speaker 1: because once again it's easier he's single. To be honest,
• 6:48
  Speaker 1: let's just be real, except for like if when it
• 6:50
  Speaker 1: comes to finances and such, maybe not. But as a
• 6:54
  Speaker 1: woman in the relationship, as we've talked about the labor
• 6:56
  Speaker 1: that has to go through and oftentimes who it's assigned
• 6:59
  Speaker 1: to is statistically who was given more labor? Yeah what No. Also,
• 7:06
  Speaker 1: I think we've already gotten to the point that women
• 7:08
  Speaker 1: are are any individual are fine on their own and
• 7:11
  Speaker 1: have their own personality and don't need someone else to
• 7:14
  Speaker 1: make them who they should be. Right. Yeah, And this
• 7:19
  Speaker 1: is going back to like all that fearmongering we've talked
• 7:21
  Speaker 1: about so often a brown single women, and I feel
• 7:23
  Speaker 1: like when I get comments like this, the idea is
• 7:26
  Speaker 1: you don't realize how sad it is yet, but you're
• 7:29
  Speaker 1: gonna get older and you're gonna realize, like, this is
• 7:31
  Speaker 1: real sad discross. It's actually like none of your business again,
• 7:52
  Speaker 1: something's wrong with you. That's something I hear. No again,
• 7:56
  Speaker 1: like none of your business. I've had people try to
• 7:59
  Speaker 1: like diag knows to me. I had a guy tell
• 8:01
  Speaker 1: me once like, clearly you have trauma, which is true,
• 8:03
  Speaker 1: but like none of your right, that's not necessarily a
• 8:07
  Speaker 1: correlation that it could be, but it's not necessarily true.
• 8:10
  Speaker 1: There's just many of people we've talked about this as
• 8:12
  Speaker 1: in genetics, as in science, so you have no idea
• 8:16
  Speaker 1: what is underlying every thing everything a B. And this
• 8:21
  Speaker 1: is also very headonormative of you. Shut up. Yeah yeah,
• 8:26
  Speaker 1: he said it to me with like the saddest like,
• 8:28
  Speaker 1: oh no, you so tragic, poor thing, And I'm so
• 8:33
  Speaker 1: can I ask a question? I know, maybe this should
• 8:35
  Speaker 1: be the end of the question. But for most of
• 8:36
  Speaker 1: these comments from men, yes, almost all of them, they're
• 8:41
  Speaker 1: all from men. I feel like what I get from
• 8:43
  Speaker 1: women is more curiosity, which almost always is fine, Like
• 8:49
  Speaker 1: it's usually like an honest, genuine I'm curious, and usually
• 8:53
  Speaker 1: it kind of works both ways because I'll be like, oh,
• 8:56
  Speaker 1: I don't experience like fantasies, what is that like? Right?
• 8:59
  Speaker 1: So that's what I usually get from women. Almost all
• 9:03
  Speaker 1: of this is from men, right, So these disgusting, gross
• 9:06
  Speaker 1: ones that really objectify you are more from men. And again,
• 9:11
  Speaker 1: we know we have a sexual men and a sexual
• 9:15
  Speaker 1: listeners who are who identify as men, So thank you
• 9:18
  Speaker 1: for listening. And I know you probably have heard the
• 9:21
  Speaker 1: emasculating versions of this as well, so please know we
• 9:25
  Speaker 1: know that you do exist. Um, but of course, for
• 9:29
  Speaker 1: this is a perspective of a woman ass this woman
• 9:33
  Speaker 1: who is a sexual and queer and therefore getting these
• 9:36
  Speaker 1: comments from men point like obviously toxic men that need
• 9:43
  Speaker 1: to know they're toxic. You're toxic. If you said this
• 9:45
  Speaker 1: and you're listening, you're toxic. Get therapy. Keep going. Well,
• 9:49
  Speaker 1: that's a good segue. And I kind of mentioned this already,
• 9:51
  Speaker 1: but I have heard like you must have some terrible
• 9:54
  Speaker 1: trauma kind of pitying aspects um. And again like, yes,
• 9:59
  Speaker 1: none of your busin this either way, and it doesn't
• 10:02
  Speaker 1: undermine my sexuality, so right right, you're missing out. It
• 10:08
  Speaker 1: makes me so sad. No, No, I'm good. I mean
• 10:16
  Speaker 1: there have been some good experiences and there have been
• 10:17
  Speaker 1: some bad, and I kind of wish I've had that
• 10:19
  Speaker 1: didn't have the bad. Yeah, And you know, sometimes, like
• 10:22
  Speaker 1: to be totally honest, I do. I wouldn't call it
• 10:26
  Speaker 1: like jealousy, but sometimes I look at a couple and
• 10:28
  Speaker 1: they look so happy and I'm like, all that, that's sweet.
• 10:31
  Speaker 1: I kind of wish I could have that, And then
• 10:32
  Speaker 1: like you know, ten minutes later, I'm like, no, I'm good.
• 10:34
  Speaker 1: You know, I think it's just a natural human nature. Um,
• 10:39
  Speaker 1: but I've kind of come to accept for a while,
• 10:43
  Speaker 1: I sort of had that POMO and now I'm kind
• 10:44
  Speaker 1: of like, nah, you know, I'm glad, I'm happy for
• 10:47
  Speaker 1: people who are happy, but I'm right, yeah, And that's
• 10:50
  Speaker 1: the other part of that. Even if there was something
• 10:52
  Speaker 1: that was traumatic in your life that's not necessarily correlated
• 10:56
  Speaker 1: a B. If it makes you happy not to do it,
• 11:00
  Speaker 1: then why would you want to do it? Like, if
• 11:02
  Speaker 1: you know something because it's not fun for you, why
• 11:05
  Speaker 1: the hell would you do it? And why the hell
• 11:07
  Speaker 1: are you negating the fact that I have chosen, you
• 11:10
  Speaker 1: have chosen what makes you happy? Why are you stafforating
• 11:14
  Speaker 1: that I'm happy about what? Right? All of this is
• 11:17
  Speaker 1: about other people, That's what I'm learning, Like, all of
• 11:20
  Speaker 1: this is about them, and I'm just like something they're
• 11:23
  Speaker 1: using to make themselves feel better, projecting so much on Yes. Also,
• 11:28
  Speaker 1: just a quick note here, obviously I can't speak for
• 11:31
  Speaker 1: all a sexual people and all a sexual experiences. I'm
• 11:34
  Speaker 1: coming from a very personal space right now and in
• 11:38
  Speaker 1: my own just where I'm at right now, and I've
• 11:41
  Speaker 1: talked about before how I'm open to relationship. I'm just
• 11:46
  Speaker 1: not like, if it comes my way, I'm open to it,
• 11:49
  Speaker 1: but I'm not really searching for it, and it's not
• 11:51
  Speaker 1: a big deal for me. But plenty of a sexual
• 11:53
  Speaker 1: people can and do have healthy relationships, some of which
• 11:57
  Speaker 1: involves sex, some of which Joe, it's just all about
• 12:01
  Speaker 1: healthy communication. Again, we always harp on that, and also,
• 12:05
  Speaker 1: you know what what people want and m and that
• 12:10
  Speaker 1: varies from from person to person, and so a lot
• 12:13
  Speaker 1: of these comments also reflect just real ignorance. Oh here's
• 12:19
  Speaker 1: a fun one. But I heard you have really long orgasms. True, true,
• 12:27
  Speaker 1: very true. Again, doesn't underline sexuality. There's a person involved
• 12:32
  Speaker 1: in this, and it's me. There, it is there, it
• 12:37
  Speaker 1: is Um Then I get the follow up, doesn't that
• 12:40
  Speaker 1: mean you're horny and therefore want sex? No? No, I
• 12:44
  Speaker 1: want this orgasm time with myself and that's it. I mean,
• 12:48
  Speaker 1: this is part of like trying to unders stand sex
• 12:52
  Speaker 1: in general and sexuality and how a person's body works.
• 12:57
  Speaker 1: I think that's an fathomable idea that you can pleasure
• 13:00
  Speaker 1: yourself is so shocked. Again, Yeah, we've had the mini
• 13:07
  Speaker 1: a conversation that in two men believe women cannot orgasm,
• 13:10
  Speaker 1: and that's a whole different thing in itself and makes
• 13:12
  Speaker 1: me sad for them and their partners if their partners
• 13:18
  Speaker 1: female or identify as female. But like, yeah, what, yeah, yeah,
• 13:24
  Speaker 1: that's a whole big can of worms that we'll probably
• 13:26
  Speaker 1: have to come back to. And we've talked about it before,
• 13:28
  Speaker 1: but sort of the needs of the body and all
• 13:32
  Speaker 1: of these social messages and stuff we've attached to sex
• 13:37
  Speaker 1: and romance and love, which yes, I also get, but
• 13:41
  Speaker 1: don't you need sex? No good, I'm good. Oh I
• 13:48
  Speaker 1: love this, but it's unnatural. You're like a lizard. I
• 13:53
  Speaker 1: too have seen Godzilla, but no, no, that's a different
• 13:57
  Speaker 1: version of the word asexual. I would have got over
• 14:00
  Speaker 1: my head, like I don't like what. I guess that
• 14:04
  Speaker 1: a little bit about like after I think, but originally
• 14:06
  Speaker 1: i'd be like, huh yeah, because well, you know me
• 14:10
  Speaker 1: and Godzilla. I don't actually don't. I don't know if
• 14:14
  Speaker 1: we've had this conversation. I think I knew it in
• 14:17
  Speaker 1: reference to a co worker, but not to you specifically.
• 14:22
  Speaker 1: But anyway, I keep going, Okay, well, in the movie
• 14:25
  Speaker 1: that is not very good, but I loved it when
• 14:27
  Speaker 1: I was a kid. Uh. They mentioned that Godzilla is
• 14:32
  Speaker 1: a sexual reproduced a sexually, and the woman character says,
• 14:35
  Speaker 1: but where's the fun in that? So some people thought
• 14:39
  Speaker 1: a sexual meant that. Yes, here's another one. I get.
• 14:44
  Speaker 1: I'll be patient with you, baby, No, I'm good applying
• 14:52
  Speaker 1: like you'll wear me down over time? Right. No, again,
• 14:57
  Speaker 1: this comes back to enthusiastic concern. That's not it. Hey,
• 15:01
  Speaker 1: person who said that if you are listening once again,
• 15:04
  Speaker 1: you need to back off because you've made a lot
• 15:05
  Speaker 1: of people uncomfortable and you are kind of a predator.
• 15:10
  Speaker 1: You know. It makes a skin crow because it's like
• 15:14
  Speaker 1: implying that that's But the other part of this is
• 15:20
  Speaker 1: that's all you needed is someone to be patient with you, right,
• 15:27
  Speaker 1: and like the idea that they think that's sexy. That's
• 15:30
  Speaker 1: so demeaning. Who aren't go away? Thank you? Go on
• 15:38
  Speaker 1: International and sexuality Days. How care you another one? I
• 15:57
  Speaker 1: get a lot that we've talked about before. It's made up.
• 16:00
  Speaker 1: You just don't like sex. No, I mean maybe maybe
• 16:05
  Speaker 1: I don't like sex, but not made up, right, so
• 16:09
  Speaker 1: you're not personally identifying these things. Then it's made up. Yeah,
• 16:13
  Speaker 1: that's that's how that works. Okay, Well, it's also going
• 16:17
  Speaker 1: back to it's kind of the same idea as that
• 16:23
  Speaker 1: you know you can't get anybody. It's sort of implying
• 16:26
  Speaker 1: like you can't no one will have sex with you.
• 16:30
  Speaker 1: Are also that you just frigid and won't have sex
• 16:33
  Speaker 1: with anybody, right, neither Tea. This is making me tired. Yeah,
• 16:39
  Speaker 1: shocking that people want to argue with you because they
• 16:43
  Speaker 1: don't understand something and to try to roll over and
• 16:48
  Speaker 1: over explain these to you for something they don't understand.
• 16:51
  Speaker 1: So instead of asking questions, I'm telling you why you're
• 16:53
  Speaker 1: wrong because they can't stand not knowing right, and they
• 16:57
  Speaker 1: just assume the world looks this way and you're wrong,
• 17:00
  Speaker 1: and I'll tell you why you're wrong. A lot of this,
• 17:03
  Speaker 1: and I'm sure you're familiar with this, Samantha. I bet
• 17:05
  Speaker 1: a lot of listeners that are comes from that, like
• 17:07
  Speaker 1: very patriarchal vibe of I'm doing you a favor by
• 17:12
  Speaker 1: telling you this, like they think they're legitimately gonna change
• 17:18
  Speaker 1: my mind, like they're helping me out right. But the
• 17:22
  Speaker 1: other part of this is this doesn't affect them. You
• 17:25
  Speaker 1: being sexual doesn't affect them, So why are they doing
• 17:28
  Speaker 1: working so hard putting out that extra effort to change you?
• 17:32
  Speaker 1: But again, even if let's say you were to say, Okay,
• 17:36
  Speaker 1: maybe I do enjoy sex with like, not that that's happening.
• 17:39
  Speaker 1: Now that's the thing. That's not a thing. But I'm
• 17:40
  Speaker 1: saying that was even the case. It's not like you
• 17:44
  Speaker 1: want to go, oh you you changed me, Let me
• 17:46
  Speaker 1: be yours again. Grows go right, you're right, I just
• 17:52
  Speaker 1: needed your big dick. No, I doubt and don't ever
• 17:57
  Speaker 1: say that to anybody. Yeah, it's also interesting again, like
• 18:03
  Speaker 1: these are unsolicited comment the backhanded. I didn't get it
• 18:10
  Speaker 1: this year, but I've gotten before the backhanded. It's a
• 18:12
  Speaker 1: shame you're so pretty Uh so this is a loss.
• 18:17
  Speaker 1: What a waste? Yeah, what a waste? What a waste? Yeah,
• 18:21
  Speaker 1: I did get some of that, not like for other things.
• 18:24
  Speaker 1: But yeah, god, all right, here's the last one. If
• 18:30
  Speaker 1: only I could be aced, but a last I like
• 18:32
  Speaker 1: sex too much. I don't know how you do it. Okay,
• 18:36
  Speaker 1: So this one is tricky because I actually get the
• 18:38
  Speaker 1: sentiment because, as I said, I too sometimes wish I
• 18:41
  Speaker 1: wasn't a sexual and I think the grass is greener
• 18:44
  Speaker 1: on the other side. Or I'm curious what all the
• 18:47
  Speaker 1: fuss is about around sex, But just being careful how
• 18:51
  Speaker 1: you word it, because it can sound very much like
• 18:52
  Speaker 1: I'm in a zoo and or you still view me
• 18:55
  Speaker 1: as a natural abnormal or that I'm making some weird
• 18:58
  Speaker 1: choice that you don't get like the and yeah, like
• 19:01
  Speaker 1: that's the black and forth is that people think this
• 19:03
  Speaker 1: is a choice instead of something that is it exists
• 19:06
  Speaker 1: within you. And sure it would be easier for so
• 19:11
  Speaker 1: many things. And I know I've heard this throughout, like
• 19:13
  Speaker 1: to not have to deal with the battles like this
• 19:16
  Speaker 1: and whatever it is called quote unquote normal, um so
• 19:19
  Speaker 1: that you don't feel like your mother in that level,
• 19:24
  Speaker 1: Like there's definitely layers to that, and absolutely and yeah,
• 19:28
  Speaker 1: being a little too like it kind of goes and
• 19:31
  Speaker 1: hopefully we'll make this a little kind of series. But
• 19:33
  Speaker 1: having Asian having non Asian people being like, oh, I've
• 19:36
  Speaker 1: always wanted to be darker, or I wish I could
• 19:40
  Speaker 1: have that hair, or man, I've always loved Korean culture
• 19:44
  Speaker 1: dada like it's kind of like, yeah, you're obviously telling
• 19:47
  Speaker 1: me that I'm different from you. Therefore, like that you've
• 19:49
  Speaker 1: definitely me here, And I don't know what to do
• 19:52
  Speaker 1: about that, because am I supposed to take this as
• 19:53
  Speaker 1: a compliment or am I supposed to be on unnoticed
• 19:57
  Speaker 1: that you see me view me differently, right, right, right, right, Yeah,
• 20:01
  Speaker 1: it's just I think that a lot of those things
• 20:05
  Speaker 1: can be well intended, but you honestly just be very careful, right,
• 20:10
  Speaker 1: just be careful, and you know you can have like
• 20:12
  Speaker 1: I've I've had a conversation with my friend about this,
• 20:14
  Speaker 1: and like it was I thought a fruitful conversation because
• 20:18
  Speaker 1: I don't think she meant meant it how it sounded
• 20:22
  Speaker 1: and when you talked about it, and now she's like
• 20:25
  Speaker 1: and I heard her talking with someone else about it,
• 20:28
  Speaker 1: so you know it's great. Well, I mean, like you
• 20:31
  Speaker 1: and I when we were first talking and talking about sexuality,
• 20:34
  Speaker 1: when we started about our mini series, we had a
• 20:37
  Speaker 1: whole conversation and I had to have a breakdown of like, okay,
• 20:40
  Speaker 1: talk to me about this because yeah, because also, yeah,
• 20:43
  Speaker 1: I worked in trauma and we were kind of talking
• 20:46
  Speaker 1: about trauma in general, and then we talked about our
• 20:48
  Speaker 1: personal relationships. So we had to have a breakdown and
• 20:51
  Speaker 1: I had to have a better understanding, and I definitely
• 20:52
  Speaker 1: learned a lot more since then. But of course it
• 20:55
  Speaker 1: had to be where you were comfortable and willing to
• 20:58
  Speaker 1: talk about it instead of me comeng as a stranger
• 21:01
  Speaker 1: being like, all right, tell me everything right about you
• 21:04
  Speaker 1: and teach me something. So there's so many levels of like,
• 21:07
  Speaker 1: if you don't know them personally, this is offensive and
• 21:10
  Speaker 1: you've already showed yourself as other ring And yes, hopefully
• 21:15
  Speaker 1: that won't be a word that people catch on and
• 21:16
  Speaker 1: saying it's cliche and it's webinized. But that is a
• 21:19
  Speaker 1: thing and you need to be cautious of it. Yes. Well,
• 21:24
  Speaker 1: as Samantha said, we're thinking about turning this into a
• 21:27
  Speaker 1: little series, you know, things not to say. I will
• 21:29
  Speaker 1: say like this, this all sounds terrible. It is, but
• 21:32
  Speaker 1: I did get a lot of really nice comments. I'm
• 21:35
  Speaker 1: really sweet, and I really really appreciated it because it
• 21:38
  Speaker 1: can be scary to be open about that stuff. Um.
• 21:42
  Speaker 1: So thanks to the listeners who sent that and um
• 21:46
  Speaker 1: and continue to support and yes, all the a sexual
• 21:50
  Speaker 1: people in our listenership. Happy internationally sexual day to you,
• 21:57
  Speaker 1: Happy day. Yes, thanks as always for listening. If you
• 22:02
  Speaker 1: would like to contact as you can or emails Steffidia
• 22:05
  Speaker 1: mom Stuff at ihart media dot com. You can find
• 22:07
  Speaker 1: us on Twitter at mom Stuff podcast, or on Instagram
• 22:09
  Speaker 1: and Stuff whenever told you. Thanks It's always to our
• 22:11
  Speaker 1: super producer Christina Yes. Thank you Christina Yes, and thanks
• 22:14
  Speaker 1: to you for listening stuff. Whenever told these pectures I
• 22:17
  Speaker 1: Hart Radio for more podcast on my Heart Radio, I
• 22:19
  Speaker 1: heard do you have Apple podcast or ever you listen
• 22:21
  Speaker 1: to your favorite shows