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Getting Back on Target Msg 28 - Pastor Chuck Swindoll Insight for Living · INSIGHT FOR LIVING: Biblical Wisdom For Everyday Living

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  Speaker 1: If you brought a Bible with you this morning, turn
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  Speaker 1: to the first book, Genesis, and the second chapter, please.
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  Speaker 1: You'll find in your worship folder, tucked behind the flap there,
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  Speaker 1: the outline for this morning's message, which we provide for
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  Speaker 1: you in each of these in the series on the
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  Speaker 1: home and family in the 21st century. I want to
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  Speaker 1: read for you from Genesis 2, beginning at verse 21
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  Speaker 1: through the end of the chapter, and then Just a
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  Speaker 1: few verses across the column in chapter 3.
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  Speaker 2: 221 of Genesis. So the Lord God caused a deep
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  Speaker 2: sleep to fall upon the man, and he slept.
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  Speaker 1: Then he took one of his ribs and closed up
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  Speaker 1: the flesh at that place. The Lord God fashioned into
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  Speaker 1: a woman the rib which he had taken from the
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  Speaker 1: man and brought her to the man. The man said,
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  Speaker 1: this is now bone of my bones and flesh of
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  Speaker 1: my flesh. She shall be called woman because she was
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  Speaker 1: taken out of man. For this reason, a man shall
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  Speaker 1: leave his father and his mother and be joined to
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  Speaker 1: his wife and they shall become one flesh. And the
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  Speaker 1: man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed.
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  Speaker 1: Verse 8 of chapter 3. They heard the sound of
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  Speaker 1: the Lord God walking in the garden in the cool
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  Speaker 1: of the day, and the man and his wife hid
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  Speaker 1: themselves from the presence of the Lord God among the
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  Speaker 1: trees of the garden. Then the Lord God called to
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  Speaker 1: the man and said to him, Where are you? He said,
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  Speaker 1: I heard the sound of you in the garden and
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  Speaker 1: I was afraid. because I was naked, so I hid myself.
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  Speaker 1: He said, Who told you you were naked? Have you
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  Speaker 1: eaten from the tree of which I commanded you not
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  Speaker 1: to eat? The man said, The woman whom you gave
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  Speaker 1: to be with me, she gave me from the tree,
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  Speaker 1: and I ate. Then the Lord God said to the woman,
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  Speaker 1: What is this you have done? And the woman said,
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  Speaker 1: The serpent deceived me.
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  Speaker 2: And I ate.
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  Speaker 1: And that's where all the trouble started, huh? It all
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  Speaker 1: goes back to the third chapter of the book of Genesis.
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  Speaker 1: And we always in our worship go back to prayer.
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  Speaker 1: Join me, will you? We do worship you and bow
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  Speaker 1: down before the Lord, our God and maker.
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  Speaker 2: Lord, God, Maker.
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  Speaker 1: How easy for those words to tumble out of our
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  Speaker 1: lips and for us to give too little thought to
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  Speaker 1: what they mean. Master over our lives. God of all things.
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  Speaker 1: Maker of our personality.
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  Speaker 2: Of our future.
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  Speaker 1: All the inhabitants of the earth are as nothing, wrote Daniel,
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  Speaker 1: and you do according to your will in the army
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  Speaker 1: of heaven and among the inhabitants of the earth, and
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  Speaker 1: no one can stay your hand or say to you,
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  Speaker 1: what are you doing? All the pain and struggle and
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  Speaker 1: heartache and disappointments and conflicts notwithstanding, we pause today to
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  Speaker 1: thank you for never giving up on us, for pursuing
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  Speaker 1: your plan, for doing in us and even by your
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  Speaker 1: grace through us what you want done as the Lord,
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  Speaker 1: our God, and maker. Some have been through deep waters.
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  Speaker 1: Pain has been great.
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  Speaker 2: Disappointments, deep. Surprises many. And on the other hand, some have.
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  Speaker 1: Known joys and delights in recent days that only could
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  Speaker 1: have come from you, our Lord and God and maker.
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  Speaker 2: Like Job, what you give as well as what you
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  Speaker 2: have taken deserves our praise.
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  Speaker 1: We are learning, Lord, thank you for your patience. We
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  Speaker 1: are learning to adjust our lives to yours. Being self-absorbed
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  Speaker 1: as we are, we have a tough time with that.
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  Speaker 1: But we thank you and we come together to be
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  Speaker 1: reminded in this one place that we sit before you,
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  Speaker 1: our King, our Lord, our God and maker. In our worship,
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  Speaker 1: we find great delight as we review the things you
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  Speaker 1: have done for us.
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  Speaker 2: Thank you for our occupation. Thank you for the privilege
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  Speaker 2: of work.
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  Speaker 1: With all of the sweat and difficulty and demands of it,
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  Speaker 1: we earn a living. And from that living, we acknowledge
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  Speaker 1: you own it all. Out of the treasure you've entrusted,
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  Speaker 1: we return to you that which is rightfully yours. Superintend
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  Speaker 1: these gifts, Father, and may your spirit have full surveillance
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  Speaker 1: over the way they are spent. Just as our motive,
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  Speaker 1: we pray that the way these funds.
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  Speaker 2: Are used will be for your greater glory.
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  Speaker 1: And now thank you, Father, in the quietness of this
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  Speaker 1: time as we reflect upon you that you remain our Lord,
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  Speaker 1: our God, and our maker.
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  Speaker 2: In the magnificent name of Christ, we give and we pray.
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  Speaker 2: And all his people said.
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  Speaker 1: Sure is easy to become a prophet of doom when
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  Speaker 1: you just check the landscape and you talk about the
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  Speaker 1: family and you realize the erosion that is taking place
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  Speaker 1: over the last 30, 40, 50 years. Knowing that that
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  Speaker 1: kind of emotion would come, I made the Lord a
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  Speaker 1: promise when I dug into the series on the home
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  Speaker 1: and family in the 21st century. Promised him I would
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  Speaker 1: not become just doom and gloom in my perspective.
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  Speaker 2: I would not allow the statistics to get.
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  Speaker 1: Me down or the facts and figures that relate to
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  Speaker 1: erosion of the home and family to make me a person.
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  Speaker 2: Who just sees the dark side of life.
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  Speaker 1: I won't lose my sense of humor. Lord, I promise you.
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  Speaker 1: So keep me looking up as I look at what's
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  Speaker 1: really happening. All that to say, I have a story
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  Speaker 1: to read you that my son sent me that just
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  Speaker 1: made me laugh out loud. Six retired Floridians were playing
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  Speaker 1: poker in their condo clubhouse when Meyerowitz loses $ 500 on
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  Speaker 1: a single hand, clutches his chest, and drops dead at
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  Speaker 1: the table. Showing respect for their fallen comrade, the other
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  Speaker 1: five continue playing, standing up. Finkelstein looks around and asks,
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  Speaker 1: now who's going to tell his wife? They draw straws,
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  Speaker 1: and Goldberg picks the short one. They tell him to
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  Speaker 1: be discreet, be gentle, Don't make a bad situation any worse.
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  Speaker 2: Discreet?
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  Speaker 1: I'm the most discreet person you'll ever meet. Discretion is
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  Speaker 1: my middle name. Leave it to me, says Goldberg. He
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  Speaker 1: goes over to the Meyerowitz apartment, knocks on the door.
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  Speaker 1: The wife answers and asks, what do you want? Goldberg declares,
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  Speaker 1: your husband just lost $ 500 in our poker game and
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  Speaker 1: he's afraid to come home.
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  Speaker 2: To which she said, tell him to drop dead. See
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  Speaker 2: how cynical you can become when you let it happen?
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  Speaker 2: I'm fully aware.
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  Speaker 1: I read all the stuff you read. I see all
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  Speaker 1: the things you see. I hear all the things you hear.
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  Speaker 1: I am fully aware that the scene is tough. The
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  Speaker 1: setting is bad. We are not going from good to better.
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  Speaker 1: We're going from bad to worse. And it will get
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  Speaker 1: only worse as time passes. However, however, I am convinced
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  Speaker 1: that the Lord is God. He still is working out
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  Speaker 1: his plan. We are still his people. He still wants
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  Speaker 1: to change our lives and our direction, and if we're married,
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  Speaker 1: our homes, our marriage, and our families. If nothing else
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  Speaker 1: is changing, we're responsible for ours. What is interesting is
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  Speaker 1: that this is not a new phenomenon. Matter of fact,
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  Speaker 1: I came across a remarkable book this past week by Dr.
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  Speaker 1: Carl Zimmerman of Harvard, who back in the 1940s was
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  Speaker 1: doing a study on the empires as they began to disintegrate,
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  Speaker 1: fall apart, and he noticed there was a correlation between
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  Speaker 1: the demise of the family empire and the home, like
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  Speaker 1: teeth in gears, with the demise of empires.
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  Speaker 2: As they fell.
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  Speaker 1: He put all of his research together in a book
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  Speaker 1: titled Family and Civilization, and he writes that publishing that
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  Speaker 1: book back over a half century ago, 1947, as he
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  Speaker 1: shows the family moving through three stages in its erosion.
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  Speaker 1: In the third stage, which he describes as the final
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  Speaker 1: phase occurring shortly before the empire fell apart, he points
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  Speaker 1: out several characteristics.
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  Speaker 2: I want to pass along some of those to you.
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  Speaker 1: He listed more than five, but I'm going to limit
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  Speaker 1: my comments to five. These are five conclusions that tie
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  Speaker 1: in with former empires as they ultimately crumbled, declined, and fell.
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  Speaker 2: Here they are.
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  Speaker 1: Each is true of every one of the empires. By
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  Speaker 1: the way, he studied Roman and Greek empires. He studied
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  Speaker 1: the French and German and even the United States. in
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  Speaker 1: the process of coming to these conclusions. So this is
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  Speaker 1: across the board. He didn't read any of our current events.
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  Speaker 1: He didn't live at this time. He didn't see the
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  Speaker 1: movies we now see. He didn't watch the primetime television.
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  Speaker 2: We now watch. There wasn't such a thing.
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  Speaker 1: These are from his academic and professional observations. These are
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  Speaker 1: the five characteristics. of the ultimate stage before the fall. One,
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  Speaker 1: marriage loses its sacredness. Matter of fact, marriage is frequently
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  Speaker 1: broken by divorce. Alternative forms of marriage are introduced and
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  Speaker 1: advocated in each of these empires he studied. Number two,
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  Speaker 1: feminist movements flourish. Within this category, he states, women lose
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  Speaker 1: their inclination for childbearing and childrearing. Naturally, the birth rate decreases.
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  Speaker 1: That's the second characteristic. Third, there is an increasing desire
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  Speaker 1: for and acceptance of adultery. Adultery was, in fact, celebrated
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  Speaker 1: rather than frowned upon.
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  Speaker 2: Number four.
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  Speaker 1: To be expected, there was a growing disrespect for parental authority.
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  Speaker 1: Matter of fact, for authority in general. Zimmerman adds, with
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  Speaker 1: this came an increase in juvenile delinquency, promiscuity, and a
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  Speaker 1: spirit of rebellion. Fifth and finally, a greater tolerance for
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  Speaker 1: sexual perversions, and he named several. This, according to Carl Zimmerman,
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  Speaker 1: marked what he calls the final stage signaling the demise
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  Speaker 1: of a culture. See what I mean about how easy
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  Speaker 1: it is to become doom and gloom in one's perspective?
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  Speaker 2: Does that put a little chill up your back when
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  Speaker 2: you look around? This is not.
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  Speaker 1: Just history on record here. This speaks to our time
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  Speaker 1: and the nation we love. But let me add once again,
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  Speaker 1: with God, nothing is impossible. If he moves upon enough
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  Speaker 1: of us so that we realize he's speaking to us
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  Speaker 1: about where we are in this situation in which we
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  Speaker 1: find ourselves, and if he hears from us a repentance
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  Speaker 1: and a willingness to change wherever change is needed, There
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  Speaker 1: is hope.
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  Speaker 2: We can make a difference.
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  Speaker 1: Don't ever let someone tell you that because the times
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  Speaker 1: are like they are, we're sunk. Our God is in
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  Speaker 1: the heavens. He does whatever he pleases. The one who
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  Speaker 1: has written history has to acknowledge that, as he sees
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  Speaker 1: it through the eyes of divine perspective, God has his way.
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  Speaker 2: And he always works through a remnant. Always.
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  Speaker 1: Arnold Toynbee is perhaps right. It's doubtful the majority has
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  Speaker 1: ever been right. Which is a little scary when you
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  Speaker 1: stop to.
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  Speaker 2: Think about it. God works through minority. Remnant.
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  Speaker 1: Godly people in the midst of an ungodly society. Let
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  Speaker 1: me add too, I realize as we come to the subject,
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  Speaker 1: some of you would have to say your past is checkered.
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  Speaker 1: We can do nothing about the past.
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  Speaker 2: It's a history, it's.
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  Speaker 1: Written, it's in ink, and it's on record. We're dealing
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  Speaker 1: with now and from now on. Remember, it's never too
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  Speaker 1: late to start doing what is right. You may have
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  Speaker 1: made a mess of another marriage or maybe more than
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  Speaker 1: one marriage. You may have therefore said, I am doomed,
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  Speaker 1: I am finished. That is not true. There is a future.
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  Speaker 2: There is a hope. God is all about that.
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  Speaker 1: And with that in mind, I want to turn from
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  Speaker 1: history and the writings of Zimmerman to Genesis, God's word
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  Speaker 1: in the writings of Moses, chapter 2. I mentioned earlier
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  Speaker 1: the civilizations, plural, and now call your attention to the
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  Speaker 1: fact we're looking at civilization.
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  Speaker 2: Singular, as it begins.
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  Speaker 1: For the first time, there's Homo sapien on the planet.
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  Speaker 2: God has made the animal kingdom. He has made the things.
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  Speaker 1: About us as a planet. He has made the planet
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  Speaker 1: and he has made the things within it. Now he
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  Speaker 1: makes the man. There was a quick broad brush picture
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  Speaker 1: of that in chapter one. The zoom lens of the
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  Speaker 1: scriptures or the spirit of God focuses on the man
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  Speaker 1: first and then the woman in the second chapter of
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  Speaker 1: the book of Genesis. And I want you to look
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  Speaker 1: at verse seven. Sort of where it all starts. The
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  Speaker 1: Lord God formed man of dust from the ground and
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  Speaker 1: breathed into his nostrils the breath of life. And man
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  Speaker 1: became a living soul. It's a great moment. In full
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  Speaker 1: adult form, there is a male that God has created.
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  Speaker 1: God places him in a pristine setting. The Garden of Eden,
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  Speaker 1: perfect environment.
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  Speaker 2: It's idyllic.
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  Speaker 1: There's no sin. There is no fear. There is no cover-up.
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  Speaker 1: There is no deception. There's no death. There isn't even
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  Speaker 1: a mention of death or a thought of death until
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  Speaker 1: God gives Adam instructions regarding one area of prohibition. Look
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  Speaker 1: at verse 15. Then the Lord God took.
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  Speaker 2: The man and put him into the garden of Eden
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  Speaker 2: to cultivate it and to keep it. That's his job description.
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  Speaker 2: The first occupation? was farming, gardening. There you have it.
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  Speaker 2: Cultivate and keep the garden.
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  Speaker 1: The Lord God then commanded the man, saying, from every
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  Speaker 1: tree of the garden you may eat freely.
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  Speaker 2: How great it must have been. Every vine was loaded
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  Speaker 2: with fruit. The trees, beautiful fruit, abundant in growth.
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  Speaker 1: It must have been delicious just to look at, to
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  Speaker 1: say nothing to.
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  Speaker 2: Find nourishment from.
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  Speaker 1: Of all of this you may freely eat, but there
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  Speaker 1: is one tree you don't eat from. 17, the tree
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  Speaker 1: of the knowledge of good and evil you shall not eat.
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  Speaker 1: For in the day that you eat from it, dying
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  Speaker 1: you will die, literally. There will be a spiritual death
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  Speaker 1: immediately as you and I are alienated from each other,
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  Speaker 1: and there will begin the process of a physical death
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  Speaker 1: as you begin to die, age, grow old. It's often
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  Speaker 1: asked in hypothetical question, if Adam hadn't sinned, would he
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  Speaker 1: have lived forever?
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  Speaker 2: Obviously.
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  Speaker 1: It is in the eating of the tree of the
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  Speaker 1: knowledge of good and evil that death is introduced. If
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  Speaker 1: there is disobedience, Adam, there is an instant change in everything.
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  Speaker 1: God doesn't stumble or stammer.
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  Speaker 2: Over his words. He's clear. He's precise. Adam heard it.
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  Speaker 2: Adam understood it.
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  Speaker 1: The Lord then takes a quick appraisal of the man
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  Speaker 1: in his aloneness, as we saw last time. And we
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  Speaker 1: read that the Lord God, verse 18, observes it is
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  Speaker 1: not good that he remain alone. Being the God of
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  Speaker 1: grace that he is, he immediately provides a solution to
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  Speaker 1: the dilemma. God says, I will make him a helper
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  Speaker 1: suitable for him. I want to look at two words
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  Speaker 1: in the solution that are important enough to linger over.
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  Speaker 1: Let's just hover here a few moments. See the word helper?
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  Speaker 1: To us, it's a word that sort of sounds like
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  Speaker 1: it's subordinate to. There is no subordination in the term helper.
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  Speaker 1: Matter of fact, it means one who is in a
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  Speaker 1: beneficial relationship to another.
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  Speaker 2: One who aids, supports, as a friend, as an ally.
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  Speaker 2: How can I say there's no.
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  Speaker 2: Sense of subservience in the word or subordination.
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  Speaker 1: Because in Psalm 46, 1, as well as other psalms,
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  Speaker 1: God uses the term of himself. He says, I am
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  Speaker 1: a very present, what? Help in time of trouble. Same
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  Speaker 1: Hebrew derivative as the word rendered helper here. God says,
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  Speaker 1: I'm a helper in time of trouble and he is subservient.
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  Speaker 1: He is subordinate to no one. It is a term
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  Speaker 1: that has to do with being an ally, a friend,
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  Speaker 1: a support, especially in time of need. The other term
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  Speaker 1: worth looking at is suitable. I will make him a
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  Speaker 1: companion suitable for him. The word could be rendered counterpart
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  Speaker 1: or complement. one who assists and, if you will, fills
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  Speaker 1: in the empty spaces, gives strength where there is weakness,
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  Speaker 1: provides answers where there are questions, there will be a
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  Speaker 1: completion in this life that is right now alone. And
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  Speaker 1: the beauty is that the Lord does exactly what he
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  Speaker 1: says he will do, Verse 21, he causes a deep
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  Speaker 1: sleep to fall upon the man and he closes up
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  Speaker 1: the flesh at that place and he fashions into a
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  Speaker 1: woman the rib which is taken from the man. And
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  Speaker 1: then he brings her to the man.
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  Speaker 2: I love this setting. Adam is, you know.
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  Speaker 1: just getting over surgery, and he is now realizing that
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  Speaker 1: scar has yielded a marvelous result and standing before him
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  Speaker 1: for the first time in his entire existence is a woman.
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  Speaker 1: And he is just ravished in her presence.
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  Speaker 2: He just.
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  Speaker 1: He says, this is now bone of my bones, flesh
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  Speaker 1: of my flesh. It's a Hebrew colloquialism for closeness, oneness,
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  Speaker 1: one in heart. This is the fulfillment is the idea,
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  Speaker 1: the completion. This is everything I would have ever wanted.
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  Speaker 1: It's a magnificent scene. And in this idyllic setting, you
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  Speaker 1: just can't beat this for a love story. Now, on
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  Speaker 1: the heels of that, verses 24 and 25, we have
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  Speaker 1: the first. Here is a passage, a primary reference. on
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  Speaker 1: principles for a marriage. They're timeless as they are true.
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  Speaker 1: They apply to the 10th century as they do the 21st.
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  Speaker 1: They will apply to the 24th century if there is such,
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  Speaker 1: just as they applied to the 1st century and centuries before.
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  Speaker 1: As long as there has been marriage, there have been
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  Speaker 1: these four principles, which I will give you in one-word terms.
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  Speaker 2: There are four of them.
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  Speaker 1: Each of these four is important enough to hold a
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  Speaker 1: marriage together. Every time I've worked with people who've struggled
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  Speaker 1: in their marriage, one or more of these four principles
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  Speaker 1: has been ignored or disobeyed.
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  Speaker 2: When I find happy marriages, I find all four are
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  Speaker 2: clicking along on eight cylinders. They're working. The first is
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  Speaker 2: the word severance.
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  Speaker 1: Verse 24, for this reason, a man shall sever. leave
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  Speaker 1: his father and mother.
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  Speaker 2: Severance.
• 23:44
  Speaker 1: Now don't misread that. Don't read into it more than
• 23:49
  Speaker 1: God is saying. He's not to disrespect or she's not
• 23:54
  Speaker 1: to disrespect parents. Parents are not to be ignored, forgotten,
• 23:59
  Speaker 1: done away with in one's mind. It's the idea of
• 24:02
  Speaker 1: leaning on and needing, clinging to. That will stop when
• 24:09
  Speaker 1: you marry because you now lean on and cling to
• 24:14
  Speaker 1: one another.
• 24:16
  Speaker 2: It's amazing.
• 24:17
  Speaker 1: I see people getting up in years that still haven't
• 24:21
  Speaker 1: left mom and dad. They're still hanging on emotionally tied
• 24:27
  Speaker 1: in to their parents, if not both to one of them.
• 24:31
  Speaker 1: It occurred to me in a little folk song we
• 24:33
  Speaker 1: sang when we were.
• 24:34
  Speaker 2: Kids called Billy Boy. Perfect example.
• 24:39
  Speaker 1: I did a little exposition of Billy Boy this past week,
• 24:42
  Speaker 1: and I made an interesting discovery. Where have you been,
• 24:44
  Speaker 1: Billy Boy? Where have you been, charming Billy? I've been
• 24:47
  Speaker 1: to seek a wife. She's the joy of my life.
• 24:49
  Speaker 1: She's a young thing and cannot leave her mother. Every
• 24:52
  Speaker 1: one of the stanzas ends with, she's a young thing
• 24:56
  Speaker 1: and cannot leave her mother. So I thought, I wonder
• 24:58
  Speaker 1: how old she is. And then when I read through
• 25:01
  Speaker 1: the song, there it appeared. Listen to one of the verses.
• 25:05
  Speaker 1: How old is she, Billy Boy, Billy Boy? How old
• 25:07
  Speaker 1: is she, charming Billy? Three times six, four.
• 25:10
  Speaker 2: Times seven, 28 and 11. She's a young thing and
• 25:15
  Speaker 2: cannot leave her mother.
• 25:17
  Speaker 1: So I got my calculator and I did the math.
• 25:21
  Speaker 1: Billy Boy's girlfriend is 85 years old. Get a life,
• 25:28
  Speaker 1: Billy Boy. She is not the one for you. I
• 25:31
  Speaker 1: wonder how old her mother is if she's 85, by
• 25:35
  Speaker 1: the way.
• 25:37
  Speaker 2: Maybe she's taking care of her mother. I don't know.
• 25:40
  Speaker 1: The point is, I don't want to go too far
• 25:42
  Speaker 1: with this. I'll make a whole sermon out of Billy Boy. But,
• 25:45
  Speaker 1: you know, if you got a woman that you're dating
• 25:48
  Speaker 1: and she can't leave her mother, you don't want her
• 25:50
  Speaker 1: as a wife.
• 25:51
  Speaker 2: I mean, duh. She's tied in. She's hanging on. She's clinging.
• 25:56
  Speaker 2: And the same with a guy.
• 25:57
  Speaker 1: And by the way, for whatever it's worth, I've seen
• 25:59
  Speaker 1: guys cling tighter than wives cling.
• 26:03
  Speaker 2: Guys, we're the ones.
• 26:04
  Speaker 1: That say it doesn't taste like mama's cooking, right? We're
• 26:08
  Speaker 1: the ones that tend to do that. Stop doing that.
• 26:12
  Speaker 1: You've got to sever the ties. You love your parents
• 26:16
  Speaker 1: and you still need your parents in many ways. You
• 26:19
  Speaker 1: don't cling to them and your life doesn't survive because
• 26:22
  Speaker 1: of them. They played a vital role, but now that
• 26:25
  Speaker 1: you're married, your relationship is now with your partner. There's
• 26:29
  Speaker 1: a second word, permanence. Severance is followed naturally by permanence.
• 26:35
  Speaker 1: See the word permanence? And he will be joined to
• 26:39
  Speaker 1: his wife.
• 26:41
  Speaker 2: Same Hebrew word is used by Job when he.
• 26:45
  Speaker 1: Describes his tongue cleaving to the top of his mouth
• 26:49
  Speaker 1: in his sickness. Remember our time in Job. When he
• 26:52
  Speaker 1: was in the depths of sickness, his mouth was so parched,
• 26:55
  Speaker 1: his tongue stuck to the top of his mouth. It's
• 26:58
  Speaker 1: the idea of sticking to, clinging to. in affection and loyalty.
• 27:04
  Speaker 1: This is not a clinging vine kind of clinging. This
• 27:07
  Speaker 1: is a wonderful and healthy connection and linkage. A permanent
• 27:15
  Speaker 1: bonding is the idea.
• 27:16
  Speaker 2: Jesus goes a.
• 27:17
  Speaker 1: Step further in Mark 10 verse 9 where he says,
• 27:21
  Speaker 1: whom God has joined together, let no one put asunder
• 27:26
  Speaker 1: or separate.
• 27:28
  Speaker 2: In other words, it's to be permanent.
• 27:31
  Speaker 1: Now, once again, you may sit there and say, man, Chuck,
• 27:36
  Speaker 1: you're talking to somebody else. I've already gone through two
• 27:38
  Speaker 1: of these, and neither one of them worked, and I'm
• 27:41
  Speaker 1: writing out a date.
• 27:42
  Speaker 2: Wait a minute. We're talking about now.
• 27:45
  Speaker 1: We're talking about the future. The other is another subject.
• 27:50
  Speaker 1: What you have done, this is now about where you
• 27:53
  Speaker 1: go from here. One of the great mistakes Christians make
• 27:56
  Speaker 1: is by constantly draining themselves all the sadness and the
• 28:01
  Speaker 1: wrongs of the past, forgetting that they are forgiven, and
• 28:04
  Speaker 1: life goes.
• 28:05
  Speaker 2: On and on.
• 28:07
  Speaker 1: From now on, there will be, if there is a
• 28:10
  Speaker 1: marriage and for the right reasons, there is to be
• 28:13
  Speaker 1: a permanence in the bonding. What God has joined, let
• 28:18
  Speaker 1: no one separate. That's a magnificent kind of home to
• 28:22
  Speaker 1: come out of, by the way. I am thrilled to
• 28:27
  Speaker 1: say that both Cynthia and I came from homes where
• 28:31
  Speaker 1: the moms and.
• 28:32
  Speaker 2: Dads stuck it out, stayed together, pulled it off.
• 28:36
  Speaker 1: Neither had perfect marriages, but there was a commitment to
• 28:40
  Speaker 1: the bond that made all the difference in the world,
• 28:44
  Speaker 1: in the kids.
• 28:46
  Speaker 2: Now, the third is the word unity.
• 28:50
  Speaker 1: In the verse 24, they shall become one flesh, oneness, unity.
• 28:57
  Speaker 2: Unity. Don't confuse this with uniformity. Okay? This is unity.
• 29:05
  Speaker 2: Eve was not created to become a female Adam. Okay?
• 29:13
  Speaker 1: They were to be in union with each other. She
• 29:16
  Speaker 1: was not to be a clone. She wasn't a vanilla
• 29:20
  Speaker 1: shadow who lived in his wake living her life in
• 29:30
  Speaker 1: the sense of non-entity because she's now the wife of
• 29:34
  Speaker 1: this strong man.
• 29:35
  Speaker 2: It isn't that.
• 29:36
  Speaker 1: Unity is all about differences that has brought into harmony.
• 29:44
  Speaker 1: There is a difference in personality. There is a difference
• 29:48
  Speaker 1: in interest. There are differences in tastes. I find sick
• 29:54
  Speaker 1: marriages when there is a controlling partner. And the partner
• 29:59
  Speaker 1: doesn't give the other one freedom to be and to
• 30:03
  Speaker 1: cultivate gifts and strengths and abilities that God's given them.
• 30:08
  Speaker 1: I can't speak for you, but I can tell you
• 30:11
  Speaker 1: my story. I about ruined our marriage the first 10 years.
• 30:16
  Speaker 1: I expected Cynthia to be a female Chuck. Can you
• 30:20
  Speaker 1: think of anything more miserable than to try to be
• 30:23
  Speaker 1: a female me? I wanted her to have my opinions.
• 30:26
  Speaker 1: I wanted her to have my interests. I wanted her
• 30:29
  Speaker 1: to think the same thing, the same taste. Now, we
• 30:32
  Speaker 1: were going in a similar direction, but I wanted all
• 30:36
  Speaker 1: of that just exactly like I said, because it was right.
• 30:39
  Speaker 2: I wanted her to be just like that. I will
• 30:43
  Speaker 2: never forget the dark, dark evening in New England.
• 30:47
  Speaker 1: We were there trying to make a ministry work, and
• 30:49
  Speaker 1: I I was at wit's end, and she sat on
• 30:52
  Speaker 1: top of all the others. She said, you know, honey,
• 30:54
  Speaker 1: I'd just like to tell you. She had tears in
• 30:56
  Speaker 1: her eyes. She said, I'd like you not to say
• 30:58
  Speaker 1: publicly that we're partners.
• 31:01
  Speaker 2: That may make you feel good and look good to
• 31:03
  Speaker 2: say that, but it's not true. And I said, yes,
• 31:06
  Speaker 2: it is. She said, no, it's not. I said, yes,
• 31:09
  Speaker 2: it is.
• 31:11
  Speaker 1: And she said, no, it's not. And walked out, walked upstairs,
• 31:16
  Speaker 1: and closed the door. And I sat at the kitchen
• 31:19
  Speaker 1: table and I thought, she's right. She's exactly right. I
• 31:27
  Speaker 1: did a quick pass and review of habits I'd formed
• 31:32
  Speaker 1: and controlling almost neurotic things I had demanded. I went
• 31:37
  Speaker 1: over some things where I'd virtually put her into bondage.
• 31:42
  Speaker 1: Every jot and tittle that I expected. And my style
• 31:48
  Speaker 1: had become harsh and hard to live with. I'll never
• 31:54
  Speaker 1: forget walking upstairs and open the door and I sat
• 31:57
  Speaker 1: down on the side of the bed and she's crying.
• 31:59
  Speaker 2: I said, you're right. And it's not going to keep on.
• 32:05
  Speaker 2: That led into.
• 32:06
  Speaker 1: About four years of the hardest work we've ever done
• 32:09
  Speaker 1: as a couple. As I had to face my stubbornness
• 32:15
  Speaker 1: and my unwillingness to bend my blindness. I discovered another
• 32:21
  Speaker 1: woman in her life that I'd never seen before. I
• 32:25
  Speaker 1: built a respect that I had never had before. Uh,
• 32:30
  Speaker 1: doesn't mean I didn't lead the home. I led now
• 32:33
  Speaker 1: freer and easier than ever.
• 32:34
  Speaker 2: Because she felt loved. She felt believed in, felt I
• 32:39
  Speaker 2: was in her corner.
• 32:45
  Speaker 1: Um, Years passed, and I remember hearing her speaking to
• 32:48
  Speaker 1: a group one time. We had started a little radio
• 32:50
  Speaker 1: ministry called Insight for Living, and she was describing how
• 32:53
  Speaker 1: it came together. And I realized if we're going to
• 32:56
  Speaker 1: have this ministry, she's going to have to run it
• 32:58
  Speaker 1: because I don't have the brains to run that kind
• 33:00
  Speaker 1: of thing. And she very graciously added that to her
• 33:04
  Speaker 1: work world along with four kids and put it on
• 33:08
  Speaker 1: a map, if you will. And she was speaking very
• 33:11
  Speaker 1: graciously to a group. And she said, by the way,
• 33:13
  Speaker 1: the best partner, the best part of all of this
• 33:16
  Speaker 1: is that my husband is my partner.
• 33:19
  Speaker 2: I go, oh, man, this is great. This is so good, man.
• 33:25
  Speaker 2: They didn't know the history of that. I just remembered back.
• 33:29
  Speaker 1: 15 years earlier when it wasn't true. You can say partner.
• 33:35
  Speaker 1: You can call him a mate. But if there isn't
• 33:40
  Speaker 1: a sense of unity, you can turn one person into
• 33:45
  Speaker 1: a slave. Nobody's ever said it better than the late
• 33:50
  Speaker 1: chaplain of the Senate, Peter Marshall. Marriage is not a
• 33:53
  Speaker 1: federation of two sovereign states. It is a union, domestic, social, spiritual, physical.
• 34:00
  Speaker 1: It is a fusion of two hearts. The union of
• 34:04
  Speaker 1: two lives, the coming together of two tributaries.
• 34:06
  Speaker 2: Isn't that beautiful?
• 34:08
  Speaker 1: The coming together of two tributaries, which after being joined
• 34:11
  Speaker 1: in marriage will flow in the same channel, in the
• 34:14
  Speaker 1: same direction, carrying the same burdens of responsibility and obligation.
• 34:19
  Speaker 2: It's union, unity.
• 34:24
  Speaker 1: Distinctive as two rivers that converge and become one, making
• 34:30
  Speaker 1: the rapids even stronger and the river even deeper. Fourth,
• 34:38
  Speaker 1: and in line, these, by the way, come in order.
• 34:41
  Speaker 1: Because there's severance, there can be permanence. And with permanence,
• 34:46
  Speaker 1: there can be a unity. You can develop it knowing
• 34:49
  Speaker 1: you're not going to walk out on each other. And
• 34:51
  Speaker 1: with that sense of unity and oneness, there can be intimacy.
• 34:56
  Speaker 2: Intimacy. The man and his wife were both naked and
• 35:02
  Speaker 2: were not ashamed.
• 35:04
  Speaker 1: You know what isn't here? Self-consciousness. That's how come there's
• 35:09
  Speaker 1: no shame. They were all about the other person. Isn't
• 35:15
  Speaker 1: that great? And there are no carryovers from hurts in
• 35:21
  Speaker 1: the past or abuses from former life. No hang-ups.
• 35:26
  Speaker 2: No embarrassment. No uneasiness. No trouble at work that flows
• 35:31
  Speaker 2: over into the home. No diseased past that.
• 35:36
  Speaker 1: hasn't been cured or somehow healed and corrected and made
• 35:41
  Speaker 1: functional rather than dysfunctional.
• 35:43
  Speaker 2: There's no dysfunction. They're together. And the sexual union is
• 35:50
  Speaker 2: the most pleasant, fulfilling, and freeing of the experiences.
• 35:56
  Speaker 1: Grant Howard says it so well in his book, The
• 35:58
  Speaker 1: Trauma of Transparency. Adam and Eve were naked, yet without
• 36:02
  Speaker 1: any sense of shame. This does not mean that they
• 36:05
  Speaker 1: have no sexual desires. It simply means that they had
• 36:08
  Speaker 1: not learned that sexual desire could be directed toward evil ends.
• 36:13
  Speaker 1: They looked upon the sexual organs in the same way
• 36:16
  Speaker 1: we regard the hands or the face. They were comfortable
• 36:21
  Speaker 1: with each other. There were no barriers between them. Here
• 36:27
  Speaker 1: for the moment was that delicately balanced combination of truth
• 36:32
  Speaker 1: and transparency.
• 36:34
  Speaker 2: I love that line. Here for the.
• 36:37
  Speaker 1: Moment was that delicately balanced combination of truth and transparency
• 36:42
  Speaker 1: that the world now struggles to understand and achieve. You
• 36:49
  Speaker 1: know how off target we've gotten, men? I mentioned intimacy.
• 36:53
  Speaker 1: We all think sex. That's only part of it. When
• 37:01
  Speaker 1: one is intimate, there is intimacy of conversation. There is
• 37:04
  Speaker 1: intimacy of discussion. There is intimacy of silence. There is
• 37:09
  Speaker 1: intimacy of pastimes. There is an intimacy of caring, of grief.
• 37:16
  Speaker 2: In the midst of loss.
• 37:18
  Speaker 1: There's an intimacy of partnership and suffering. And yes, there's
• 37:24
  Speaker 1: intimacy in the bed. That is just an outflowing of
• 37:29
  Speaker 1: the intimacy of two lives.
• 37:34
  Speaker 2: That's it. Our world misses it. Perverts it.
• 37:44
  Speaker 1: Why?
• 37:45
  Speaker 2: Because of chapter three. Curtain closes on chapter two and
• 37:49
  Speaker 2: you go, oh, forever.
• 37:51
  Speaker 1: May it last forever. And then the snake shows up
• 37:57
  Speaker 1: and The tempter with his soothing and appealing voice and
• 38:06
  Speaker 1: his direction toward their curiosity. And before you know it,
• 38:15
  Speaker 1: she takes and eats of the forbidden tree.
• 38:18
  Speaker 2: And Adam, like a dunce, eats. Where was Adam when
• 38:23
  Speaker 2: she was tempted? How come he wasn't protecting her? How
• 38:28
  Speaker 2: come Adam didn't say, no, no, no, get out of here?
• 38:33
  Speaker 2: He doesn't.
• 38:35
  Speaker 1: And of all things, she, surely having been told by
• 38:40
  Speaker 1: Adam of the instruction, surely she knew.
• 38:44
  Speaker 2: And she offers him and he takes. And they both
• 38:49
  Speaker 2: tumble and fall.
• 38:52
  Speaker 1: Sin transpires and changes everything. It's all changed. You can't
• 38:59
  Speaker 1: tell the difference by looking, but you can by watching
• 39:03
  Speaker 1: what they do.
• 39:05
  Speaker 2: Verse 7. The eyes of both of them were open.
• 39:10
  Speaker 2: What an amazing thing.
• 39:11
  Speaker 1: They weren't blind before, but now they see in a
• 39:15
  Speaker 1: whole different light.
• 39:17
  Speaker 2: The eyes of both of them were open and they
• 39:21
  Speaker 2: knew they were naked. How weird is that? It's true.
• 39:29
  Speaker 1: They are so other minded. They didn't know they were
• 39:32
  Speaker 1: naked in chapter two. Wasn't about them. Now it's all
• 39:38
  Speaker 1: about them.
• 39:42
  Speaker 2: I mean.
• 39:44
  Speaker 1: It's all about how they felt at that moment there. Well,
• 39:51
  Speaker 1: there are three things that occur. Number one, they become self-absorbed.
• 39:57
  Speaker 1: They knew they were naked.
• 39:59
  Speaker 2: They.
• 40:01
  Speaker 1: Adam's now focusing on Adam. Eve's now focusing on Eve.
• 40:06
  Speaker 1: So they're self-absorbed. Instead of being other-conscious, they're self-conscious. Second,
• 40:14
  Speaker 1: they withdrew from one another. Before, there was this harmony
• 40:19
  Speaker 1: and unity and intimacy and cleaving to one another and
• 40:27
  Speaker 1: leaving parents. Now there's the withdrawing from one another. Instead
• 40:30
  Speaker 1: of enjoying each other's company, they get busy making their
• 40:34
  Speaker 1: own aprons. Adam doesn't make one for Eve. She doesn't
• 40:39
  Speaker 1: make one for him.
• 40:40
  Speaker 2: Look at it.
• 40:41
  Speaker 1: They knew they were naked, so they sewed fig leaves
• 40:44
  Speaker 1: together and made themselves loin coverings.
• 40:50
  Speaker 2: There's a sense of shame.
• 40:51
  Speaker 1: There's no reason for shame. But their minds are darkened.
• 40:57
  Speaker 1: Their wills are changed. Their emotions are different. And they
• 41:04
  Speaker 1: pull back.
• 41:09
  Speaker 2: They withdraw from each other. Before they saw everything as
• 41:13
  Speaker 2: God saw it. They thought his thoughts. They had his perception,
• 41:17
  Speaker 2: his mentality.
• 41:18
  Speaker 1: Now they're ill at ease with each other.
• 41:22
  Speaker 2: They aren't free anymore. They immediately cover up.
• 41:27
  Speaker 1: Transparency has fled the scene. Now to make matters more complicated,
• 41:34
  Speaker 1: along comes the Lord God.
• 41:36
  Speaker 2: Verse 8. They heard the sound of the Lord.
• 41:41
  Speaker 1: God walking in the garden in the cool of the day. See,
• 41:45
  Speaker 1: he's been doing that for an undetermined period of time.
• 41:48
  Speaker 1: He would meet with them, and they would walk and
• 41:50
  Speaker 1: talk together. And now they hear him, and would you
• 41:56
  Speaker 1: look at this? The man and his wife hid themselves
• 41:59
  Speaker 1: from the presence of the Lord. So third, they ran
• 42:02
  Speaker 1: and hid from their creator. How dumb is that? You
• 42:06
  Speaker 1: can't hide from omniscience. They're hiding behind the trees God made.
• 42:14
  Speaker 2: He's got x-ray vision.
• 42:21
  Speaker 1: Sin has entered and fear replaces joy. And now there's
• 42:27
  Speaker 1: distance and alienation and discomfort and uneasiness and a whole
• 42:31
  Speaker 1: sense of shame. And God says, Adam, where are you? Now,
• 42:39
  Speaker 1: Don't misunderstand. He's not at a loss. He's not going,
• 42:47
  Speaker 1: where could he be? He's saying, why are you there?
• 42:54
  Speaker 2: You've always been right here. Eve, what are you doing
• 42:58
  Speaker 2: out there?
• 43:01
  Speaker 1: Verse 10 is the first recorded words of a sinner
• 43:04
  Speaker 1: in the Bible.
• 43:06
  Speaker 2: Don't miss them.
• 43:09
  Speaker 1: For the first time, a sinful homo sapien speaks. I
• 43:18
  Speaker 1: heard the sound of you in the garden.
• 43:21
  Speaker 2: That's true. And I was afraid. That's true. Because I
• 43:30
  Speaker 2: was naked. That's not the whole truth. I disobeyed.
• 43:41
  Speaker 1: I ate from the tree you told me not to
• 43:46
  Speaker 1: eat from.
• 43:50
  Speaker 2: Naked yell, but I disobeyed. He doesn't say that. Two
• 43:58
  Speaker 2: realities we're forced to face.
• 44:00
  Speaker 1: We'll never escape them because through one man's sin entered
• 44:04
  Speaker 1: into the world and death on all because all have sinned.
• 44:09
  Speaker 1: First of all, Here's a reality. We would rather lie
• 44:13
  Speaker 1: than admit the whole truth. We are experienced as liars.
• 44:22
  Speaker 2: We know how to do it. We learned it from
• 44:23
  Speaker 2: our parents. They learned it from theirs. We all have
• 44:27
  Speaker 2: learned it from Adam. We'd rather lie. We'd rather do
• 44:31
  Speaker 2: a half-truth than the whole thing. I have disobeyed.
• 44:35
  Speaker 1: And He doesn't say that. He said, I was naked.
• 44:43
  Speaker 1: And will you notice God's question? Who told you you
• 44:46
  Speaker 1: were naked? That's always made me smile a little. If
• 44:54
  Speaker 1: you have your shirt off, do you know it? I mean,
• 44:58
  Speaker 1: if I got a zipper that won't go all the
• 45:00
  Speaker 1: way up, I won't even wear that garment.
• 45:03
  Speaker 2: Till I get that fixed.
• 45:04
  Speaker 1: If I got a button that's missing, I know every
• 45:07
  Speaker 1: missing button. And sometimes I'm embarrassed when somebody points out,
• 45:12
  Speaker 1: you know, your zipper's open.
• 45:16
  Speaker 2: I know. But he said, he said, who told you
• 45:22
  Speaker 2: you were naked?
• 45:24
  Speaker 1: And before Adam can lie again, God says, you eat
• 45:27
  Speaker 1: from the tree?
• 45:28
  Speaker 2: Face it. Call it what it is. And Adam, when
• 45:34
  Speaker 2: he gets cornered, verse 12, says, the woman... you gave me.
• 45:44
  Speaker 1: I was alone and you came up with the idea.
• 45:49
  Speaker 1: And I wouldn't be here if you hadn't brought her along.
• 45:55
  Speaker 1: And the woman says, it's a snake. And he deceived me.
• 46:02
  Speaker 1: Why don't they just say what happened? The second reality
• 46:09
  Speaker 1: we all have to face. We would rather blame someone
• 46:12
  Speaker 1: else than take full responsibility. I could correct two things
• 46:22
  Speaker 1: in any marriage. It would be, number one, from now on,
• 46:26
  Speaker 1: all of us would tell the truth, hard as it is. Second,
• 46:31
  Speaker 1: none of us.
• 46:32
  Speaker 2: Would ever again blame somebody else.
• 46:36
  Speaker 3: Ever.
• 46:40
  Speaker 2: See, we work out techniques, so we manipulate the situation.
• 46:45
  Speaker 1: Casey Stengel, manager of the New York Yankees, once said,
• 46:49
  Speaker 1: the secret to managing.
• 46:51
  Speaker 2: Is to keep the guys who hate you away from
• 46:53
  Speaker 2: the guys who are still undecided.
• 47:02
  Speaker 1: It's all part of the manipulation. We got a deal
• 47:04
  Speaker 1: where we work it out. Man, we keep this group
• 47:06
  Speaker 1: out of there and that group there. We cover this area.
• 47:09
  Speaker 1: We don't cover that. You know, that's just business. That's
• 47:11
  Speaker 1: just good business, Chuck. That's how we do business. You know,
• 47:14
  Speaker 1: that's the way it works.
• 47:15
  Speaker 2: No, I don't know. I know that's the way others
• 47:19
  Speaker 2: do it. Just say it. Don't spin it. I disobeyed God.
• 47:27
  Speaker 2: I disobeyed you directly. Eve, I disobeyed. I even gave
• 47:32
  Speaker 2: it to him and he ate. No excuses. You know what?
• 47:38
  Speaker 1: A relationship with God starts right there. This is so good.
• 47:42
  Speaker 1: Great closing point. God's seeking them, knowing already what they've done.
• 47:51
  Speaker 2: Isn't that great? God doesn't hear him and go, I
• 47:56
  Speaker 2: never knew that. God goes at him. You've eaten. But
• 48:04
  Speaker 2: he seeks Adam.
• 48:05
  Speaker 1: He comes to walk with him in the cool of
• 48:07
  Speaker 1: the evening. He still seeks our worship. He, the lover
• 48:13
  Speaker 1: of our souls, reaches out.
• 48:16
  Speaker 2: And says, I know all about you. Come on.
• 48:20
  Speaker 1: Don't lie to me or yourself any longer. Don't blame anybody.
• 48:23
  Speaker 1: Come just like you are. Let's bow our heads. Right now,
• 48:29
  Speaker 1: real quickly. All lies, let's stop it. All blaming, let's
• 48:36
  Speaker 1: quit it. Lord, I'm through running. I'm no longer blaming
• 48:42
  Speaker 1: anybody else for where I find myself. Here I am, God.
• 48:45
  Speaker 1: Deliver me from this rat race. Break the habits that
• 48:48
  Speaker 1: I formed that are hurtful. I acknowledge that your son
• 48:54
  Speaker 1: paid the price for my sins. Every one of them,
• 48:56
  Speaker 1: I can't change my sins or my nature. But if
• 49:00
  Speaker 1: I have him, I've got a power I don't have
• 49:03
  Speaker 1: in myself. I take your love. I take your offer.
• 49:09
  Speaker 2: I come to the cross just like I am. Thank
• 49:13
  Speaker 2: you for forgiving me. Thank you, Lord God, for your faithfulness.
• 49:23
  Speaker 2: Thank you for your plan. Forgive us for messing it up.
• 49:27
  Speaker 2: Take us from here to where we need to be since.
• 49:31
  Speaker 1: It's never too late to start doing what's right.
• 49:35
  Speaker 2: In the name of the Lord, our God, our maker, Jesus.
• 49:40
  Speaker 2: Everybody said, Amen.
• 49:44
  Speaker 3: The preceding message, Getting Back on Target, was copyrighted in
• 49:48
  Speaker 3: 2004 and 2006, and the sound recording was copyrighted in
• 49:52
  Speaker 3: 2006 by Charles R.
• 49:54
  Speaker 2: Swindoll, Inc. All rights are reserved worldwide.
• 49:58
  Speaker 3: Duplication of copyrighted material for commercial use is strictly prohibited.