Latest / Petty and Unbothered / #13 - Stonewall, Steven, & So Many Tangents
Transcript
- Robin Axline: Hey everybody, welcome into the pod. I am Robin and I'm here with my lovely co-host Lora and thanks for joining us again. Tita Lors: Hello? Yay, we're back. Hello? Robin Axline: back. Happy June, aka Pride Month, and we're excited. Tita Lors: Yay! Robin Axline: And, ⁓ yeah, I think, ⁓ this whole month is going to be a fun one. We're going to bring up maybe some intense topics, but then, ⁓ plenty of hilarity at the same time. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. So, yeah, I think every, we had this idea that every episode this month will honor pride in some way, or form. Tita Lors: Yeah, just exactly how you want things to go. Mm-hmm, indeed. Robin Axline: So I think that'll be a blast. ⁓ How are you doing? How's your heart, Lora? Tita Lors: How's my heart? My heart is fine, my head is pounding. It's okay. It's ⁓ most, as most women will know, that time of the month. Mm hmm. What are you drinking? I heard the like the click. Yeah. I actually really, really hate that because of like, you, Black Mirror has, oh my God, like an episode where somebody just keeps doing that and it's so annoying. Yeah. I don't know if you've seen Black Mirror yet. Uh-huh. Robin Axline: I don't- I mean I've seen every black mirror, but that one's not- I'll look it up later and I'll be like, ⁓ yeah, that's- I don't remember that. Tita Lors: Yeah, it's ⁓ the dating episode one about... Robin Axline: Is it the one where they have to meet up or something and then they lived together? Tita Lors: Mm-hmm. Yeah, like they're the algorithm essentially tells them how long that they're going to be together. Robin Axline: Yes. Yeah, that one. Yeah. I just don't remember the drinking part, but that doesn't mean anything. Tita Lors: Oh my God, one of those. Good, it's good because that partner was annoying, but she had to be with that partner for like a year or something. And every time they would like, you know, Tango, they would. Or, or anytime like he. Yeah, right. And then also like anytime he felt satiated or whatever, like he would like take a sip of something. Robin Axline: ⁓ yeah. Okay? I'm picking up what you're putting down. Tita Lors: I just got to a point where I just wanted to slap him. I was like, okay enough, Done. Robin Axline: Yeah, it's like everybody has... Not it. probably everybody has a quirk that would annoy somebody else. Tita Lors: Mm-hmm. Tissa, I'm sure you can't be everybody's... What is it? There we go. Robin Axline: There's, you know what, there's a lid for every pot. Tita Lors: Yes, there is someone somewhere appreciates that. Not me. No, no, you're not triggering me. It was, um, I think if you did it like all the time, it would have been like Robin, we've got to have a talk. Robin Axline: I'm sorry, I didn't mean to trigger you. It's mostly just when I open cans or anything probably. I feel like it's like, I don't know, it's like baked into our world somehow. Tita Lors: Yeah. You I get the reference, my, I don't know, my system is just like, I cannot keep hearing that. It's like hearing somebody, there's like a question where you're like, what's something that you're bothered by that you don't want to be or something? And it's just like chewing for me. Like. Robin Axline: Ooh, I really don't like that. That's a pet peeve of mine. Tita Lors: Yeah. Yeah. Like if I can hear you smacking your lips and you're eating something, like I'll just stare. It's just so unnecessary. Why? especially, yeah, like, hmm. Or like when, like if what you're eating isn't even crunchy and I can still hear you eating, why? It doesn't make any sense to me. Robin Axline: Stare. ⁓ yeah, yeah. I mean, part of it is the open mouth of it all too. Really, I can't do that. I wouldn't last in a relish for much of a time. Tita Lors: you Mm-mm. Nope. No. They would not last with me because I'd be like, no one ever slapped you for like eating with your mouth open. I guarantee you, I definitely had consequences. Robin Axline: Yeah. One time, I'm not gonna name names. Ian and I had a house guest and there was many quirks of hers. One, she had a kombucha and she shook it and then it exploded all over the kitchen, even though I said don't do that. And then... Tita Lors: No, don't shake it. Yes. Robin Axline: No, I, one, she put her feet on the furniture, which I don't like. Also, just feet to furniture is rough. ⁓ Tita Lors: It's weird sometimes, yeah. Especially if it's like a table. Yeah. No. Robin Axline: But the one that I'm gonna reference is we had some cherries and she just like housed the cherries and basically was eating them with her mouth open like and then like sucking the flesh off the seeds. Tita Lors: Mm-hmm. Robin Axline: And then like spitting the pit out into this dish. Tita Lors: Okay, the dish thing I understand, because it saves like a ⁓ paper towel or whatever. So we're being eco-friendly, but like. Robin Axline: And then we found, I mean, it wasn't like a huge ordeal, but I did find like cherry stems kind of like around. Tita Lors: No. What do you have a dish for? The dish is for that! Like, that's the whole point! Robin Axline: I mean, I think some must have made it to the dish, but it mostly was just like the eating the cherry just so loudly, open mouth. Tita Lors: You Yeah, no. And in some cultures, I appreciate that, like, I have to remind myself, like, where am I? Because there's some cultures where you're supposed to. It's a sign of like, really like this is yes, exactly. This is delicious. Yeah, right. The louder you eat, the better it must be. But I could not exist there. Robin Axline: appreciation. Yeah, I've been to a ramen place that was like legit legit and I slurped my ramen and the people like noticed it and they were all like, thank you. Yeah, like. Because I heard about that and so I was like, I'm going to try it and then. They like smiled, they're like, thanks, I'm glad you like our food. So in that case. Tita Lors: ⁓ really? ⁓ huh. Exactly Robin Axline: was a fun experiment. The risk was worth the reward or whatever. Tita Lors: Mm-hmm. And it's culturally appropriate. And it totally makes sense. Yeah. But, so now, exactly. Close your mouth. My kids are learning that right now. I'm like, my big ⁓ was, she's like trying to, she, I cut up their meats, but I guess it was still kind of a bigger chunk of. Robin Axline: Right, Just not at my house. ⁓ Tita Lors: ⁓ like steak for her so she's like chewing and trying to make it fun for herself i guess so she's like chewing out loud and i'm just like yeah and i just look at her and i'm all i don't need to hear you eating her poor little face i feel bad for doing it now but seriously no one needs to hear you eating that Robin Axline: ⁓ like a cartoon. At least you said don't do it. I think that's. Tita Lors: Yeah, her poor face. She also said to me recently, sometimes it's like you don't like me. Robin Axline: What? Tita Lors: Okay, let me reassess what I'm doing as a parent that makes you feel this way. ⁓ Robin Axline: ⁓ huh. Yeah. Like what about me does or I don't know. Tita Lors: Yeah, I think I had corrected her for something. We were doing, ⁓ we were doing her homework. And so she doesn't even have homework. It's homework. Like, her teacher, yeah, they don't, her teacher doesn't do homework. She just sends like papers home that they didn't do at school that they maybe should have. And she's like, it's up to you if you want to it or not. I don't care. I'm like, yay. ⁓ Right? So she had that and she's got this like, Robin Axline: That's what I was just thinking, I'm like, homework, what? Okay. Tita Lors: She's got her pencil and she's just flailing it around sharp side up. Yeah. And like several times she's almost stabbed me in the face. It's a good thing I wear glasses and I was, and I just snatched it out of her hand and slammed it on the table. And I think that's like what upset her. Yeah. And I'm all, it's not that I don't like you, but I don't like not feeling safe. Robin Axline: Yeah, that sounds a bit scary. Tita Lors: Right? Yeah, this like toddler is just swinging the super sharp pencil around like, no, I don't feel like getting stabbed in the face today. Robin Axline: This is one of my favorite pens. It's KCDC, shouts out. ⁓ It's a skate shop. Tita Lors: ⁓ huh. Eww. Robin Axline: in Williamsburg, Brooklyn, but ⁓ they actually close their brick and mortar, unfortunately. But you can still, I'm not sponsored, but you can still buy their gear online. ⁓ And they usually have some pretty great stuff and they've partnered with some awesome skateboarders. and they're, ⁓ and it's women owned. Tita Lors: ⁓ Ooh, nice. Robin Axline: And they really push letting girls have experiences with skateboarding and giving them the chance to try. So click this every Tita Lors: Mm-hmm. Ooh, My big. Has. she's got those like little mini skateboards. ⁓ have idea. No, it's like a cheap one from Five Below or whatever. ⁓ And she thinks it's really fun. I want to get her like a legit one, but not the person to teach her how to skateboard. I don't know how to skateboard. Robin Axline: Hm. Tech techs? ⁓ Tita Lors: So... ⁓ no, Ryan doesn't skateboard either. Robin Axline: What about your partner? Tita Lors: Okay, well, Uncle Ryan, Uncle Ryan, Uncle Ian. Come teach him. Yeah, they, she wants to learn, but I think I need to get like a regular size one. I actually want to get a long board because I remember in college I tried to learn, but then it never happened. But it would be cool to like, you know, while she's biking or whatever, then fix one, fix my bike. Robin Axline: ⁓ yeah. He would love to do that. Yeah. Tita Lors: where I could like long word next to her or something. don't know, whatever. Great. Robin Axline: I mean, if you're actually looking for a board, can turn you onto one that my brother got for my niece. And it's a cute little skateboard for a five year old to have. ⁓ And they actually took her to some lessons at a skate park. that skate park also has like a mommy and me ⁓ skateboard thing. So my sister-in-law ⁓ did like a skateboard sesh. Tita Lors: Okay. ⁓ ⁓ yeah. Aww, how cool! Mm-hmm. ⁓ Robin Axline: with her and it just seemed so adorable the pictures that they sent so that's cool Tita Lors: ⁓ huh. ⁓ that'd be so fun. I think that'd be super cool. We used to have like a rock climbing ⁓ gym not too far, maybe like within 10 minutes of us. And I was like, ⁓ yeah, we should go and do that because I used to rock climb or boulder. ⁓ And we just never got around to it because my schedule, the classes were like when I would be seeing clients. So we couldn't go, but. I know, and now it doesn't exist here anymore. I have to drive like hella far to go do it. Ooh. Robin Axline: Well, next time you visit, we could do a sesh. There's a couple of good rock climbing gyms by me. So that would be super fun. Tita Lors: ⁓ yes. Right? It's been a long time, but I would love to. That'd be so much fun. No nails that day. Robin Axline: Yeah. Yeah, totally. It's a good one. I'd be, ⁓ man. Tita Lors: Yeah, did you actually try the nails? Did you put them on? Okay. Robin Axline: Not yet. ⁓ But I'm going to soon. And I'll report back to you. I keep looking at them. I'm like, all right, I need to try these. And then I just don't. Tita Lors: Yay. huh. It's okay. We'll do it. Okay. Robin Axline: But I will soon. Yeah. I'm thinking like maybe next week. We'll see. Anywho. Yeah. I'll send you a picture. Tita Lors: Hey, when I don't get to see them, because we're not recording next week. Okay, good. Robin Axline: ⁓ man, that's funny. Yeah, so, anywho, I guess we can dive into the topic, but it's just been nice to catch up for a bit. Tita Lors: you Yeah, let's do it. Mm-hmm. I know, I haven't talked to you all week. Usually I'm like texting you throughout the week. Robin Axline: Yeah, I know, felt like something was missing. I did, I was like, something seems like off. I truly was like, hmm, what is different right now? Yeah. Tita Lors: Yeah, I was like, hey, what about this? Me, it's me. So I've been texting my friends because I'm like in or other friends because I get these random like spirals when it comes to my dog. And I'll like, oh, well, I'm deep diving into this like spiral because I didn't do this or because I can't find this or because of whatever. So I'm like. Yeah, I've been trying to just navigate those every now and again. I'm like, yeah, I'm doing better than I was last week. But yes, that has been fun. there. Anyways, let's dive in. Robin Axline: Let's dive in. Just kidding. Okay. so yeah. Yeah, we can do our own side ⁓ sound effects. Yeah. Tita Lors: You Who needs sound effects? We do our own sound effects here. We don't need a soundboard. Robin Axline: Eventually I would like to... I could just record my own... Tita Lors: Seriously? you Robin Axline: ⁓ huh. Alrighty. ⁓ Moving on. So to kick off Pride Month, I decided to start out talking about a historical landmark in the city of New York. It's called the Stonewall Inn. Are you familiar? It's a cool- I've been for drinks a couple times. It's pretty cool. Tita Lors: Hehehehe... Hehehehe... Yes! I've never been, but I've seen documentaries about it and how it's very pivotal in the LGBTQ plus community and all that stuff. So yes. Robin Axline: Yeah, you got it. Right. Yeah, and really became like the birthplace of like modern LGBTQ during 1969. yeah, 1969. Basically what happened was that the police raided the bar and arrested employees and the patrons that were there. And it was like a crowded neighborhood full of people with drag queens and trans women of color. And they resisted and turned on the police, which is pretty awesome, especially back then. ⁓ and so like it was six days of clashes during this time. And it was, yeah, yeah. was like six days back and forth. especially with like the gay youth and community members protesting the oppression. and the events really sparked a massive, ⁓ organizing. So by 1970. Tita Lors: I didn't know it was that long. Robin Axline: Excuse me was the first gay pride parade Yep. And the Pride Parade is super fun. I'll probably get into this, the other side of it in a different episode, because there's a lot more to say, but it kind of concludes down at the West Village, which is adjacent to the Stonewall Inn, I would say, which is on Christopher Street. Tita Lors: Mm-hmm Robin Axline: And so then there's just, at the end, when they land in the West Village, it's kind of a big party. And it's, it's really fun. It feels good. ⁓ yeah. I've gone many times. Yeah. I mean, honestly, like almost the whole city kind of shuts down because it takes over the whole street. ⁓ and so there's a lot of road closures. And if you think you're going to drive through Manhattan, forget about it. Tita Lors: Have you gone? Robin Axline: Like, seriously, get a bike or something. Or walk, yeah. ⁓ cause it's not happening. And yeah, just walk. Period. Tita Lors: Yeah. Yeah, because I've been to, Long Beach does ⁓ a pride parade too. ⁓ And since I used to live like downtown adjacent, I could just walk to it all the time. And I made Ryan go one time too. ⁓ It's pretty fun, but you're definitely not driving anywhere. Robin Axline: ⁓ yes, I'm sure same there. Totally. Tita Lors: Mm-hmm. Yeah, like if you're trying to get to the coast in that area, it's not happening. You should walk or take a bike. Walking is probably better. Robin Axline: out. So the last thing I just kind of wanted to mention with the background of Stonewall Inn, if any listener is unfamiliar or if anybody needs a reminder, the spot actually became a national historic landmark in 2000. Yeah, just really cool. And Tita Lors: ⁓ nice, good. Robin Axline: This is where it gets, this is what spurred my story today is something that was on the news, but I read a really good article in the New York City News Service. Basically, the US government said, yes, this is gay history, but let's not get too carried away. Tita Lors: Ha ha ha ha! Robin Axline: ⁓ and so the wildest part is like, it's about Stonewall. Like what? So it's a national monument tied to queer liberation, federally controlled. And what happened was they removed the pride flag. And. Tita Lors: Because we're getting too carried away. Wow. Robin Axline: Yup. And I was just so stunned. Like, that is disgusting. How, like, that's an integral part of everything. It's a representation of the LGBTQ plus community. So, the Pride flag was removed and all references to ⁓ trans people were either removed or reduced. Tita Lors: Yeah, of why. Yeah. Robin Axline: almost like to disappear them. Tita Lors: Wow. Robin Axline: So it's like the government is deciding what's appropriate. Tita Lors: Yeah, what we're allowed to like be proud of, guess, or. Robin Axline: Yeah, so it's like career exists, history exists, the in a version that's acceptable to like we support the history, but not the vibe or something like that. Something like that. Tita Lors: Yeah. Another vibe. Yeah, or like we support it, but only this part of it. Robin Axline: Pride, but make it PG. ⁓ Tita Lors: Yeah. It's PG pride. Robin Axline: Yeah. ⁓ my God. ⁓ so that whole thing has still just been such a shocker to me. And I've seen the proprietor of the bar speak on the news and they're just like, they're not going to bring us down like that. This is not the spirit of this place. And I haven't been by in a while, but I'm pretty sure they probably put the flag back up. I hope so. Tita Lors: I hope so. Robin Axline: It's just wild that this, ⁓ Cheeto person had something to do with it. That's what the article kind of mentioned. So, I mean, surprise, surprise. Tita Lors: Yeah. Well, also, did you know that, like, I only know this because I watch DIY shows when I'm supposed to be doing other things. That, like, once a building becomes like a, ⁓ like a not national monument, but like. ⁓ This is a historical building or whatever. You almost can't do anything to it without approval from some federation or some like blah, blah, blah. Like if you want to fix your windows so that they can be more insulated, then sometimes there are things you can do to the windows. There are things you can't. to, yeah, to like everything. Like once it becomes a historic building, everything that you do to that building has to be pre-approved. Yeah, from like painting it to renovating it to updating it to literally everything that you do to the building inside and or outside and in like it has to be pre approved. Yeah, because it's a historical building, so it has to stay historically accurate. So good and bad stuff about making things historical. Yeah. Robin Axline: Historical. Yeah, that's a really, yeah, that's a good point. True. Some things we don't want that probably. Or yeah, mostly. Yeah. So anyway, I thought I would just bring it. I don't know. The story really hits because so often I feel like people always want to just tidy up queerness. So it's easy to digest and Tita Lors: Mm-hmm. Yeah. Robin Axline: throughout kind of my journey, I've realized I don't need anyone's permission to be queer in my own way. And I think pride's the perfect way to celebrate that and just ⁓ be who you are. Tita Lors: Yeah, 100%. And like, as my friend always tells me, it's a spectrum, right? There's a moment where I was like, am I on the spectrum somewhere? And I was like asking her all these questions and telling her all these things. And I'm like, that just doesn't seem like it's queer enough or that it's like bi enough or this enough. And she's like, it's a spectrum. Like that is, this is as far as you go on that spectrum and that's fine. And it's okay. I'm like, yes, but yes, exactly. Exactly. Robin Axline: caveats or something. Yeah, I know I'm somewhere on the Kinsey scale, but I couldn't tell you which number right now. And like your friend said, there's no labeling necessary. It's really just about being you and comfortable with actually being yourself in front of people, which is what I wish everybody could be. Tita Lors: Exactly, yeah. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Yeah, no, 100%. Without feeling judged, but now even this building is getting judged. Robin Axline: Yeah, it's like a curated okayness, I guess. Only what makes us comfortable, not you. Forget that. Tita Lors: Mm-hmm. Yeah, like you're allowed to be gay, but not that gay. You ⁓ Yeah, yeah, yeah. Exactly. Or could be... You could be gay, you can't be trans. Like, come on. Seriously. Mm-hmm. Robin Axline: ⁓ god, yeah, that is so ridiculous. I can't. ⁓ But let's move into something a little bit lighter here. It's still in that realm, but I wanted to bring a couple stories forward that I've read via Reddit. And so here we go. Here's the first story. Story one. Tita Lors: Yay! Robin Axline: This is in the LGBT Reddit and the user is JaiMT, like T-E-A. Okay, the title is, Dad Introduced My Girlfriend Seven Years as My Friend. Tita Lors: I ⁓ Robin Axline: I confronted my dad to let him know that his reference of my girlfriend as my friend was really hurtful and felt like he was trying to cover up the true nature of our relationship. He said, within the generation, that is exactly how that is introduced. Boyfriend and girlfriend are introduced as a friend. Fiance and spouse are different designation, so there was no cover up intended. Tita Lors: Mmm... False. Okay. Robin Axline: For reference, I'm almost done. For reference, my dad is 60 and this introduction was to a 67 year old woman. Is this true? I don't even recall ever seeing this in the media and I'm trying to find reference to this online. That's the story. Tita Lors: False. They're lying. Robin Axline: I've never heard that in my life. Tita Lors: I know! Yeah! I mean, they're always introducing like, oh yeah, this is their little boyfriend, their little girlfriend, or whatever. Blah blah blah. Robin Axline: And for him to say like, I'm not covering up, this is just how it is, is crazy. Tita Lors: Yeah, I know you're that's I mean, if that's not gaslighting. Right, like, no, you're you're the one who's looking too deep. It's not that deep. It's fine. Anything else? Like, yeah, that's how you would introduce it. Because you were like masking because you're covering it up before, right? Like, ⁓ yeah, that auntie, that's her roommate. And that's just been her roommate. Robin Axline: you Tita Lors: for really long time, they're just really good friends. Winky face. ⁓ Yes, in that context, that's how it used to be introduced. That's just their friend. Or, yeah, uncle so and so has always lived with this person. That's just his really good friend. Robin Axline: Yeah, that's true. Uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh, absolutely. Um, and somebody in the comments even mentioned that. Like, it could be like that, or it could be like a salacious, like, instead of saying lover, it's my friend. Something, I don't know, that's what they said in the comments. Um, and I wanted to read one of the comments. It's, your dad is technically within my generation. We're at opposite ends of it, and I grew up knowing the difference between a friend and a girlfriend and a boyfriend. The only time it got confused Tita Lors: Mm-hmm. Mmm... Yeah. Robin Axline: is that girls might refer to other girls they weren't dating as girlfriends while boys did not refer to their guy friends as boyfriends. Growing up my parents wanted to know my older sister's boyfriends or if I had a girlfriend and they meant dating. So even their boomer generation was using the term. Movies are the same. In Back to the Future Marty refers to his girlfriend Jennifer. Tita Lors: Mm-hmm. Robin Axline: Same with some of the Brat Pack movies whose characters would also mirror that age. Maybe things were different where he was, but general cultural? Nope. Dating means brofri- or boyfriend unless they were just fuck buddies. I mean fudge buddies. Anywho, I just wanted to add that one because it was a boomer perspective. Tita Lors: you Mm-hmm. Yeah, because the only time I've ever heard them be referenced as like a friend is if you're trying to hide the actual relationship there. So that would be the only time that it's relevant or yeah, so he's totally lying. ⁓ that sucks, Robin Axline: Yeah, 100%. Yeah. Anyway, I feel like that's the angle to me is like erasing the relationship truly like in front of others to again make himself feel comfortable. It's a double standard. And yeah. Tita Lors: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Or not erasing it entirely, maybe, but like, we're not going to highlight your actual relationship here. yeah, like, not highlighting it because it makes me uncomfortable. So I don't really want to have to be the one to say it. I don't want to be the one to, like, put it out there. So. I'm not. I'm not going to make myself uncomfortable. I'm going to make you uncomfortable, but not me. Robin Axline: Yeah, exactly. So I just wanted to share that one because I felt like that was maximum petty energy with the dad of it all and making up some wild story. ⁓ But I did have a couple of questions for you before I get to the next story, if you don't ⁓ You can say no. ⁓ Tita Lors: Ooh, sure. Yes, I mind. How dare you. you Robin Axline: So how do you, I have two questions. How do you usually advise people to set boundaries without feeling guilty? Tita Lors: Hmm, don't feel guilty. I'm just kidding. Just don't. I know. Just get rid of that feeling altogether. No, it's actually like, it's preparing people to feel guilty. Robin Axline: Alright, problem solved. Next. ⁓ Tita Lors: right? That you are going to set a boundary and depending on the relationship that you're setting it in, you're going to feel guilty. It's going to happen and we need to feel comfortable with that. So let's practice being comfortable with that guilt and what we're going to do when that sets in. And then also thinking about like, whose guilt is this? Right? Like who's putting this on you? Is it actually your guilt or is it that These people want you to feel bad for making them feel uncomfortable and making them have to feel their feelings. So instead of them feeling uncomfortable, you feel guilty. Robin Axline: Right. That's totally what it is. That's a hot take. Good one. Tita Lors: Mm-hmm. Yeah. So thinking through that and being like, no, you can take your shit back. Like, I'm not going like I still feel guilty a little bit, yes, but you should feel uncomfortable, too. Robin Axline: Yeah, totally. mean, nothing has to be like perfect or polished, but I think it's just also not being a palatable version of yourself just to make somebody happy. ⁓ I don't know. Tita Lors: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Yeah, for sure. Robin Axline: I think it's too bad when people, mean, besides the federal government controlling who you can be, ⁓ editing history and whatnot, then families and people editing you in real life or just society policing is such a problem. ⁓ And it's again, like same pattern, somebody else deciding what's acceptable. ⁓ Yeah. Let me just jump to the next question. ⁓ and let's go ahead. Tita Lors: Hmm. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Something. OK. I don't know. I OK, so something that's been on my mind recently because I just added edited this for a different podcast ⁓ is that ⁓ this I always forget her name. I should really look it up. But ⁓ she said. And this blew my mind when she said it. ⁓ that for women especially, we're so used to ⁓ experiencing life through the gaze of other people. Yeah, she said that my jaw dropped and I was like, how dare you? That's so true. I know how dare you point this out to me. And then immediately I'm like thinking of all the times when I have, when I am not even looking at the world through my eyes, but I'm watching myself do the thing. Robin Axline: How dare you. That's straight up diabolical. Tita Lors: And I'm right. And I'm watching how other people are perceiving me do whatever it is that I'm doing. And then I'm feeling gross or icky or like upset at myself because I can see how people are perceiving me or I assume that this is how people are perceiving me. And then that's when the anxiety sets in as opposed to like how if I were to just perceive myself and experience what's happening for myself. then it's a completely different experience, right? And it's the same thing with setting boundaries. If you're setting a boundary through the gaze and the perception of other people and how other people are going to feel about it, then you're gonna feel some type of way, as opposed to I'm setting a boundary and this is through, and I'm gonna experience it through my experience of empowerment and of protection and self-preservation. That's a completely different experience. Robin Axline: Absolutely, yeah. It's too real. Like I already said, it's like, so relatable. Tita Lors: I know. Yeah. So that has been ever since that interview. Exactly. And it takes a lot of effort to put, to really ground yourself in your body and in the experience, especially I think for women, because we are so, we are so taught, ⁓ at a young age to always think of how other people are seeing you. Robin Axline: That's a real thinker. Yeah. Yeah, I'm going to be thinking about that one all day. ⁓ My brain is like kind of going like tweaking around like what? Tita Lors: For a long time, right? She's a f- huh. ⁓ huh. Yeah, am I watching myself do this or am I experiencing it? It's... It was... It's wild that is that... Mm-hmm. That was a fun interview for me. I could not stop thinking about it the entire time. Robin Axline: Yeah, yeah, no, totally. It's, mean, sometimes I do feel like I'm above myself and just kind of watching, but then there's other moments where I make a conscious effort to be mindful and present and see what I'm seeing instead of seeing me seeing or seeing other people seeing. Well, that's a good one. Tita Lors: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Exactly. Those who know, know. Robin Axline: Yup, yup, yup. Okay, so I did want to jump to the next question. And then I've got another story to tell. Tita Lors: Yes. Mm-hmm. Robin Axline: So from a therapist lens, why is visibility and self-expression important for mental health? Tita Lors: I don't know if I'm going to answer it in the most therapeutic way. ⁓ but I think it's about authenticity to yourself and being able to kind of like what we were just talking about, right? Be in your own body and to settle in your own body. When you're constantly thinking about like other people's perception of you and who you're supposed to be and how you're supposed to be living your life. There's a lot of. that's where we get into areas of like anxiety or depression because you're not good enough, you're not worthy enough, you're not whatever, blah, blah, blah, blah, as opposed to settling into your authentic experience and who you authentically are. That I think it's, it's that for me, if I were to like, have a client and talk to them about that experience. If you're not living. in a way that's true and authentic to yourself, then there's going to be lot of ⁓ incongruencies and dissonance in yourself. And that's going to feel really uncomfortable for you. And I think when we have visibility and when we can see other people who are able to live authentic lives, then we give ourselves permission to do that too. Or then we have experience or not, we have permission to be like, okay, that's, it's all right to be that way. And that's acceptable. Robin Axline: Yeah, no, absolutely. That's a great way to put it. And I feel like when you're doing all these things just ⁓ to be acceptable or you know these things inside you are hurting and you don't somehow have human connection, there's only so much time that you can kind of sustain on that. Tita Lors: Yeah. Yeah, right. Like we are social beings. Humans are meant to socialize with one another. We're not meant to be alone. And there's a lot that's ⁓ part of like your DNA where belonging is so super important and so much a part of excuse me. It's so much a part of the human experience. Cause that's like, we, again, if we go back to when we were cave people, ⁓ or, you know, ⁓ less, whatever. Yeah. Less evolved. then your, if you didn't belong to the pack, then you were more likely to die. You were more likely to, ⁓ Robin Axline: evolved or yeah. Tita Lors: be eaten or mauled or harmed in some way because you didn't have that sense of belonging or protection in your village, in your clan and your whatever. So belonging is so much, yeah, part of just the human experience. Robin Axline: Hard agree, hard agree. Thank you for those answers. think those were exactly what I was looking for. I want to do more of these questions, but I think it would be really fun. think you would agree, Lora is if our listeners submitted some questions here and there. Tita Lors: Ooh, yeah, that'd be fun. Robin Axline: And like, our T-line, we can play a clip if you don't mind, or you can just email us or even for now you can slide into our DMs, they're open. Our DMs are open for now. ⁓ Yeah, I do, I do every once in a while, so we're good, we're good, we're caught up. So this is my last. Tita Lors: Hehehehe Indeed. I should probably check our emails. I haven't checked that. Okay. Yay. Robin Axline: story and I'm gonna bring it to the Petty Dome. Tita Lors: ooo is this the petty battle? yessss let me bring up my story, ok cool Robin Axline: Are you ready for a petty battle? Yes? ⁓ Okay, so this one story comes from... Let's see, it's from Reddit also. It's sources- M-I the asshole. And the username is waifparty. Tita Lors: What? Robin Axline: Am I the for telling my roommate that her use of the phrase, that's so gay, is offensive? ⁓ Tonight, my 29... Tita Lors: ⁓ my gosh. Robin Axline: female roommate. ⁓ no, tonight my 29 female roommate 23 female and I were talking about the breakup of a mutual friend of ours. As we were parsing the details, roommate listed a series of why she didn't get along with our mutual friend's ex-girlfriend. As we chatted, roommate mentioned that the ex-girlfriend disliked the phrase that's so gay, which happens to be a phrase that roommate and her boyfriend say to each other quite a lot. Tita Lors: Hmm, really? In 2026? Robin Axline: Yuck. Now, yeah, exactly. I'm like, really? That's wild. ⁓ Now, aggressively straight roommate. That's an, Tita Lors: Yes. Parentheses. We're so good at words. Robin Axline: like parentheses. ⁓ ⁓ Okay, now, aggressively straight ⁓ roommate. Yeah, I'm not even gonna say anything. Tita Lors: Let's hands up in parentheses. because because you can see this in a podcast. Robin Axline: Right, yeah. It's a visual medium, everybody. Didn't you know? ⁓ Knows that I'm a queer lady. So it surprised me when she seemed to think I would side with her on this stance. Which she seemed to think represented peak snowflake culture. Broomate began saying that she and her boyfriend have a dark sense of humor and that the word gay also means happy, right? Tita Lors: But that's not the way you're using it, so... It's not the same. Robin Axline: ⁓ Gallo's, don't get this part, Gallo's humor is only funny if you're the one who's been on the chopping block. Tita Lors: ⁓ it's his type of humor, gallo humor. Yeah. I couldn't explain it to you, but yes. Robin Axline: replied and we can readers if you want to explain it to you Google it no just kidding Tita Lors: Google it. I know what it is. I just can't explain it! Robin Axline: I'm glad I mentioned that because I was actually thinking about skipping the galos humor part because I was like, I don't get it. Tita Lors: No, okay, yeah. So it's like the dark humor, so grim, ironic humor in a desperate or hopeless situation. So kind of like, I make a lot of jokes like that when I talk about my trauma. So like, make a joke about a traumatic experience. ⁓ And then people who have experienced said trauma will like laugh about it too, because they get it. ⁓ But that's when it's like... It's Gelo's humor because it's dark and twisty and people are talking about like. dark and twisty things. Yes, but that's not the same thing as saying that particular phrase. Robin Axline: Yes, yes, yes. Yeah, well thank you and I'm sure our readers who didn't know are appreciative as well. Tita Lors: I'm Robin Axline: Dear readers, friends, enemies, you're here, allies. Gala's humor is only funny if you're the one who's been on the chopping block. ⁓ now I get it. Okay. Yeah. So this, ⁓ yeah. I replied and thought- Tita Lors: You're here. Yeah. Robin Axline: that she was being coy and disingenuous by insinuating that she is using the word gay in a positive light. Rumi became pretty defensive, began spouting apologies along the lines of, well, I'm sorry if that word hurts your feelings, but that's not what we mean. I asked her not to offer non-apologies, especially- I know, that's- so she didn't- especially if she didn't mean it and that she doesn't- Tita Lors: Seriously. Robin Axline: hurt my feelings when saying that's okay. She disregards the historical context of the phrase and insults the daily slog the LGBTQ plus community puts into combat anti-gay rhetoric. We close the discussion with Rumi saying she has the ability to see both perspectives in an argument and because we're friends and she doesn't want to hurt me that she wouldn't use the phrase when she knew I was around. I told her I'd rather her not police her language just because I was present but because she finds it objectionable. We agreed to leave the discussion where it was since the situation was getting pretty tense. This is the first issue we've ever seriously sparred over in a year of boarding together and I can't shake the feeling that maybe I overreacted. What do you think Reddit? Am I the asshole for airing my concerns or should I have let the situation be? Tita Lors: No. Robin Axline: I feel like that emoji where my eyes are like lines in my mouth is like this. Yeah. Tita Lors: Yeah, a line. ⁓ I have the apology alone. I hate that kind of apology because it's not it's not an apology. You're not I mean, there's different parts to an apology and most people don't know how to apologize. But the first part is being able to recognize what you did that was hurtful or or like mean or whatever. And then the next is to say that you're not going to do it again. And then the next is how you're not going to do it again. Robin Axline: Yes, that that. Tita Lors: Yeah, right? Like, and if you're only doing it because it hurts your feelings, so again, right, I'm going to police myself in front of you, then you're not getting the point of why it's hurting their feelings. And so then you need to stop, like stop and think about that for a second. Right? Like being able, knowing why it hurts the other person's feelings or knowing why this is something you have to apologize for, that's also part of the apology. Robin Axline: percent. Yeah, exactly. But they're not getting or they don't want to get that, perhaps. Tita Lors: Mm-hmm. Yeah, or they get it, but they don't care because they don't agree. Robin Axline: Mm-hmm. Yeah, think that's actually more I would lean more that side Yeah So I just think okay, I was trying to reason it out because they were saying like ⁓ well Gay used to be happy. So they're trying to like reclaim it like I don't know Tita Lors: Yeah. You, but you can't, you're straight AF and therefore you can't reclaim it. Like that's not yours. Yeah. Like it'd be one thing if you were an ally or part of the LGBT plus community, like sure. If you wanted to reclaim it for yourself, like a lot of people are definitely doing that these days. but you don't get to do it for them. Robin Axline: Yeah, like it's not a joke. Right, yeah. Like so stupid. Hell no. Heck no. Shucks no. ⁓ Tita Lors: Yeah I think we're allowed to say hell. We just can't say F. No. We're trying. It's really hard. It doesn't help. Like, okay, anyways, like, Robin Axline: you Yeah. Tita Lors: Yeah, it's and it's the same argument for the n-word, right? Robin Axline: Well, yeah, you could say that. ⁓ And I know I do listen to a lot of queer hosted podcasts, and they do kind of reclaim that stuff, but it's in their ⁓ way of expressing it. And it can, but they're not saying it as like a derogatory term, too. That's the other point that I was going to make. Tita Lors: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Yeah, exactly. Robin Axline: So a lot of things are being reclaimed and it's very interesting, but not for some aggressively straight person apparently and her boyfriend, yuck. Tita Lors: Mm-hmm. Yeah! Yeah, no, you don't get to do that. Just, no. That's a hard guess. Robin Axline: Yeah, so I just think that was pretty petty of that person to like really keep at it and saying all that stuff and then not even give a proper apology. And the other person is not the A-hole because the- yes, the OP original poster. Original poster, everybody. ⁓ Tita Lors: Yeah, the OP in Reddit talk. huh. Look at us learning. Robin Axline: god. They are not the bad guy there at all. And you know, it kind of is too bad because they're stuck living together and they probably didn't want to have too much of a conflict, but they really did stand up for it a couple times. And yeah. Tita Lors: you No. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. And in not even a petty way, but like a very direct, healthy way of bringing it up and letting it be known too. Like, don't remember exactly what they said, but it sounded pretty healthy. Yeah. Exactly. Yeah. So. Robin Axline: It didn't stick out to me as out of pocket or something, so. So I just wanted to move on to something like kind of like, I'm sorry, kind of funny. And then I can get your story if you don't mind. I know we're just running out of time, but what's time? It's a construct. Yeah. ⁓ fair. Tita Lors: Okay. Okay, let's do it. No, we're fine. It's fine. We talked a lot in the beginning, it looks like it looks like a lot, but it's not. Robin Axline: good I'm happy for that okay now we're gonna take you to a clip that's a throwback of a PSA that I cannot it lives in my brain rent-free and it's a PSA with a cameo from Hillary Duff Tita Lors: You Robin Axline: as like the main person. I know this is becoming a deaf podcast, we stand, I suppose. Okay, ready? I'm gonna play you. Yeah, first I'm gonna play you this clip. Tita Lors: Eww. I remember watching that. Robin Axline: I do too! Like I said, this has been in my brain ever since it came out, I think. That's so girl wearing a skirt as a top. Tita Lors: Also, shut up because I used to do that. Robin Axline: Hahaha! Tita Lors: you Robin Axline: That was such a diss. I'm pretty sure a lot of girlies did that back in the day, so... Tita Lors: Yeah, or like when I was a part of the itty-itty bitty titty committee, ⁓ a handkerchief as a top? A bandana, yes. I guess not a handkerchief, a handkerchief is too small, but like a bandana. Robin Axline: ⁓ man. Yeah, it's like kind of like backless and then it was like triangle shaped. It did look like a scar for a bandana. Yeah. Tita Lors: Yeah, yeah. Yeah, well, no, because you could I could take an actual bandana and fold it in half in that triangle and then tie it all the way around. Yeah. No, can't. I definitely can't do it now, but like back in the day. Robin Axline: What? Well, you're so petite. I could see that. I'm too, like, tall for that. Yeah. I don't, I don't. I don't think I did that, but I did do some funny bandana on my head things. And I did have a top that was like I mentioned that kind of ⁓ a triangle, triangle top. ⁓ man. Brutal. Tita Lors: Mm-hmm. Yeah. And they're trying to bring this like early 2000s style back in a mall. Robin Axline: Only some of it. Not everything, please. Anywho, I thought that was like super funny that this story ⁓ had a light bulb in my head. was like, I know what to play the PSA. So funny enough is I've been like a couple of. Tita Lors: Yeah. Mm-hmm. you Robin Axline: on Hillary Duff's media tour, she's been on a bunch of the podcasts I listened to. And one of the things she brought up was that she used to be embarrassed about that commercial. Yeah, because people would be like, ⁓ that's such a funny, silly commercial. And she'd be like hiding. ⁓ Same with the dance that's gone viral now from her ⁓ performance of With Love. Tita Lors: No way. Robin Axline: It's wild, you gotta Google it. But people are like, people are doing TikToks and videos of it and then she was embarrassed but now she reclaimed it and she's performing it at her concerts now. Tita Lors: Okay, I'm like, I don't think I know it. ⁓ how cool! I think actually she's gonna be here at the... I won't say the con... the... the place that's here because... I know. ⁓ You should come visit me. Hold on. Robin Axline: Where don't dox yourself. Tita Lors: because usually tickets here are not that expensive. Robin Axline: ⁓ tight. Yeah, she's coming to Madison Square Garden here, but it's expensive. Yes. Tita Lors: Ooh! Yeah, you August? Well, I don't want to say because then you'll be able to find me. But. Yes, exactly. Come, you should come visit me in August because then we can go watch. Let's see. Robin Axline: Then we'll settle this off air. Tita Lors: ⁓ my gosh, these tickets are so expensive. Lawn tickets are usually like $70 and right now it's $110. Robin Axline: ⁓ my goodness. Hey, listeners, if you want to donate to our concert fund. Tita Lors: I know. Well, I think- Hillary Duff experience. Yeah. my gosh, these are actually really expensive, but I think it would be cool to get lawn tickets because then we could like dance around and just sit on the lawn instead of having to be in the front. Although I have done like front row there. It's fun too. So we'll talk about it. Exactly. Robin Axline: Paidion and bothered pod at gmail.com Hey, it's an option. We'll talk, we'll talk. And then we could bring a picnic blanket. That would be so fun. Tita Lors: Mm-hmm. Yes, I have. I'm already prepared. I have, Okay. All right. Robin Axline: ⁓ gosh. Anywho, so I just wanted to play her most recent clip regarding the That's Okay campaign. Are you ready? It's short. Tita Lors: Okay. Yes. Robin Axline: I'm gonna refresh the page. The topic makes me really angry. It actually makes me want to cry, sorry. I think I was just asked if I was interested in being a TSA and if I cared about the topic at hand and of course I did. It was really impactful and I remember loads and loads and loads of kids coming up to me just saying thank you. I think they felt represented and stood up for and... Okay, that was it. Tita Lors: Yeah, so it aged well. That was a PSA that aged well. Robin Axline: Yeah, thank goodness, because I rewatched it just to make sure. I was like, I don't know, but it was fine. And I love that she's made peace with it too. You can tell. I mean, she said it makes her angry, Tita Lors: Hahaha Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Well, yeah, because I mean, it's so true. Why would you use something that's part of somebody's personality as like a bad thing? Robin Axline: Yeah, yeah, totally. It's just unfortunate that that was such a slang term back in those days. But, I, I guess the use of it in 2026 in the story just really blew my mind. And that's kind of why had to bring it to the petty battle. ⁓ Yeah. But I thought I'd throw in this, well, yeah, probably it's just not in our circles. Tita Lors: Mm-hmm. I know who says that these days. No one. Well, I mean people, Yeah. No, for sure. I had like a, tangent, but I did. had a cousin who he didn't use that. He used the N word a lot. yeah, so this wasn't like a cousin that I hung out with often, but it's a cousin that I, you know, I like generally. ⁓ And I was visiting and he just kept using it. And I looked at him and I was like, can you not? Robin Axline: Hmm. Tita Lors: And he was younger, so I feel like I had that upper hand. And I was just like, can you not? he's like, oh, I'll just, know, blah, blah, blah. And he gave whatever explanation I was like, yeah, but you're just totally missing the cultural aspect. And for me, I just find that really disrespectful. Right? Like I'm not part of the community, but I understand the history. And that's one word that I don't think that you should be using. So maybe don't. So, yeah. Robin Axline: That's a really great way to put it. mean, anybody should understand that. Whatever. Tita Lors: Yeah, and I right? Like, anyways, whatever. So I don't know if he, he, and he did actually was like, oh, well, sorry, you know, and was respectful, at least around me. And I didn't hear him ever say it again. Um, but it wasn't like a, well, I'm sorry you feel that way kind of petty apology. was a real like, oh, okay, I'm sorry. Um, so I don't know if he still uses the word, but at least I don't have to hear it. Robin Axline: At least you expressed it that it's like something that would make a human uncomfortable. Tita Lors: Yeah, like just the historical background and like. and how heavy. It's a really, really heavy word to use, I think. Robin Axline: Yup, hard agree. alright, so I'm done with my story. I know that was super long, but I just had so many like tie-ins, so I couldn't stop myself. Tita Lors: Okay, are we ready? Yeah. No. Good. Good. I love it. Okay. It's your podcast. You can do what you want. Okay. So this is actually from threads and it's, I don't know. Maybe you know this comedian. So it's a comedian who posted it. ⁓ it's Steve Hofstetter. Robin Axline: Yeah. All right, let's go. Tita Lors: I know, I'm trying to like... Robin Axline: ⁓ no, I don't know this fool. What is going on? Okay, back to the story. Tita Lors: I need this ball. Okay, but apparently, yes, and the comments make it seem like he's very, very good. So I haven't seen anything but it's on Steve Hossetter's threads. And it is a story of petty revenge. I walked into a coffee shop a long way from home. The one open seat was next to a man who was reading. This was not a shared couch. These were two separate seats with an end table in between them. I quietly sat down and opened my computer. The reading man gave me an incredibly dirty look and let out a loud, how dare you type of sigh. That's what I imagine that sounds like. Thank you, thank you, I try. That's what I wanted to be when I was like nine. For the next 10 minutes, I made no noise or significant movement other than some light key tapping and coffee drinking. Yet he continued to audibly be annoyed at me, even going so far as to mutter, come on in my direction when I shifted my weight. Thank you. Thank you. Finally, when the two girls across from us left, he loudly and purposefully gathered up his belongings and went over to one of the now empty chairs in a huff. A few minutes later, he got up to go to the bathroom, reserving his seat with just his book. Robin Axline: That was good acting too. Tita Lors: Just then, a woman with a toddler approached me and asked if the seat next to me was taken. Sorry, I'm waiting for my wife, I lied, but one of those seats across from me is open. The reading man returned from the bathroom to find the seat next to him, loudly occupied by a woman with a toddler on her laptop watching a cartoon on an iPad with no headphones. Two morals of the story, a coffee shop is not your living room. people can sit wherever they please, and I've never met someone who I can't out asshole. Yeah, so apparently he's he's out here on our neck in our neck of the woods. He's going to be he's got a show in Richmond, Virginia Beach. ⁓ Richmond and Virginia Beach, Syracuse, Albany, Roanoke, New York, Charlotte, more. So if you guys know this person, you know, there. Yes, many opportunities, but yeah. Robin Axline: You have some opportunities. Tita Lors: I, who do you agree with, the reading man or Steve Hofstadter? Robin Axline: ⁓ my goodness. That is really. That's a conundrum. Tita Lors: You Robin Axline: I guess, Steven. Tita Lors: Yeah, Steve. Robin Axline: Steven? ⁓ yes. I guess Steve I would go with. Tita Lors: Yeah, me too. Right? Like, it's a coffee shop. So as somebody pointed out, it's a coffee shop, not a library. You can't you're not going to expect this place to be super duper quiet. And even I think even nowadays in a library, people will also be on their laptops. Yeah, so what were you expecting to happen? Like that nobody was going to sit next to you in an empty chair ever? Robin Axline: Yeah, come on, man, that culture really. Yeah, that's another episode. ⁓ Yeah, no fair. I think yeah, so that Tita Lors: Hahaha! Yeah, right? And then that you're going to like, make all these like petty sounds or remarks or whatever you don't even have the the gall the balls to say something to me like if I'm actually bothering you then tell me why. What is it that I am actually doing that's so bothersome to you? You can't because I'm not doing anything. Robin Axline: Yes. It's so passive aggressive. Like just make everybody else miserable. Crazy. Like you're not a wait, what's the face? Yes, yes, I got to. That's so like, you know, when people put on a mean mug. Tita Lors: Mm-hmm. Yeah, it's like the mug. The coffee mug. The face. Yeah, they mean mug, yep. Once you said the face. Robin Axline: I was like, well, how did you know what his face looked like? Tita Lors: He probably was mean mugging. Uh huh. Robin Axline: Yeah, I kind of imagined that in my head. It's like, obviously not a person that's operating on a higher vibration. Tita Lors: Mm-mm. Yeah, probably being a jerk. ⁓ until he leaves. Get that area out. ⁓ But yeah, so I agree with Steve here. think I might have. I don't know if I would have said that lie, but I might have tried to come up with a reason for him to like for her to go sit next to him, too. Robin Axline: The whole coffee shop is just doomed. They might have to sage it a little bit and then... Yeah, yeah. mean, it's just like interesting to see what would happen also. Tita Lors: Yeah, like. Mm-hmm. Yeah, like you thought I was annoying? Just you wait, Enry Iggins. Robin Axline: Just you waitin' Yeah, just you waitin' I love a good My Fair Lady reference. ⁓ yeah, if you know, know, I shouldn't have said anything. No, but, ⁓ you know, I do not stan a child on a tablet with loud cartoons and no headphones. That drives me bananas. Tita Lors: I know, like if you guys get that, you're my people. I know. It's fine, it's fine. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Yeah. I have, ⁓ I don't know. Robin Axline: ⁓ no, I'm talking to the wrong person. Tita Lors: No, no, no, no. Like I feel in quiet place, I think there's like a time and space. And I do think that like we should give our kids headphones and blah, blah, blah and all that stuff. But also sometimes like as a mom, you're just trying to survive. And sometimes you have it and sometimes you don't. And so it's hard. There's a part of me that's like, oh, come on. But then there's a part of me that's like, hey, girl, you do what you gotta do to survive. Like, I get it, whatever. like me on an air, yeah, airplane, two kids. And I, I want to be the person who like makes my kids wear the headphones, but they won't wear their headphones. They have tiny little heads and their headphones don't stay on their heads. yeah. And I even got the ones that are like their headbands, but those aren't placed in exactly the right place for the little ears. So those don't work either to try to be mindful that for parents and stuff. But what I really, really don't like is the kids on the iPad throughout the entire dinner. You're out to dinner and I see kids just on iPads throughout the whole dinner and their parents are also just on their phones and nobody's connecting and nothing is happening. I'm like, ⁓ that sucks, you guys, really? Nothing like at no point are you guys going to put your phones down? You're eating too, by the way. It's gross because your phones are gross and now you're eating. Yeah, it's just like bacteria on your phones and you're like using your hands to eat whatever it's gross. So. Like I that I have problems with sort of because then I'm thinking about like other things like the connection between the parents, the connection between the kids and how much can you really? Robin Axline: Yeah. You might get some gravy all over the screen or that too. Yeah. Tita Lors: be relating to each other, how, you know. Robin Axline: Yeah, I think sometimes though that time is like one of the only times a family actually like face has FaceTime with each other. Tita Lors: Yeah, exactly. when we're, and also like going out to dinner for my family was such like a ⁓ fun experience. Especially when it was my whole family with like my cousins and my aunts and stuff, or just dinner period because there were no tablets. didn't, we weren't afraid. Yeah, there's like no TV in the dining area. So. Robin Axline: Yeah, same. Tita Lors: we're chit chatting and talking and like telling each other about whatever crazy things that's happening. So was such a time for connection. And it's hard for me to see that happening and think like, wow, you're really not going to take this opportunity to get to know your kids or yeah. But then I also, I'm, I'm also the parent who's like, I love you so much. Get the F off me. Robin Axline: Gotcha. I understand. I did notice like the last time I flew, there was multiple announcements that were like, if you're watching something, please put your headphones on. Yeah. And like, there were some people that clearly were not listening to that, that were doing just that. Especially there was some children like watching a cartoon and I was like, all right, well, good luck making these people do this. Tita Lors: Yeah. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm, no matter what age you are. Yeah. Mm-hmm. You Robin Axline: But I thought it was a kind of unfortunate thing that the airline has to include that in their announcements too. But whatever. Tita Lors: Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah. ⁓ that totally just memory of so again, I I fly to California as often for any excuse I possibly can find. I don't remember if it was like on the way home or on the way to California, but there was this fully grown six foot plus whatever man who was sitting in front of me and my girls were sitting to the left of me and. My big was just having a really hard time. She couldn't get to sleep. She was really uncomfortable. I think it was also just the timing of the flights. I usually do it around their nap time so that they fall asleep or I do it in the evening so that they're sleepy. But she was just having a really hard time with this flight and I was giving her like, they always have new toys so it's interesting for them. and coloring books and like, I have a lot of things to keep them busy because I don't want to hear from other passengers. But they were, it was just rough. Like neither of them could go to sleep. They're both kind of fighting each other, blah, blah, blah, all that stuff. So then I was like shushing her and I was like, you know, okay, it's fine. Maybe like, and trying to get her to be calm. But then I started to hear like an echo to my shush. So I thought my little was echoing me, but then I I noticed that the second shush, my big had this like scared face. And I was like, what the hell? So then I looked to where she was looking and it was the fully grown man in front of me turning around to shush her and like mean mug her. And she was maybe at most like three and a half, four, four at most. And I was like, excuse me, don't look at my kid. Like if you have a problem with my kid, you talk to me. You don't say shit to my kid. And he's like, well, he almost said, well, you need to tell your kid to shut the fuck up. I like I heard it and I heard him hear it. And then he stopped. And then he like corrected himself and he said something else. But I was like, oh, you think that's a problem? I'm gonna be a whole problem. Me. You think she's a problem and you want her to be quiet? Oh, she'll be quiet. I won't be. I brought her into my lap, directly behind him, and she's a wiggly little girl. Robin Axline: Yes! Kudos to you! Tita Lors: And I didn't stop her from kicking his seat. I didn't stop. put down the tray and I got like the shakiest, like whatever most annoying toy that they had. And I put it on the tray and I was like, do what you want. She'll be quiet, but she's not going to be still and she's going to kick you and she's going to hit the tray table. So then he had a problem with that. And he's like, turned around and he's like could you stop and I was like ⁓ she's quiet now You are quiet? She quiet. And then I started singing the annoying songs, right? This is the song that never ends. Yes, it goes on and on my friend. Some people started singing without knowing what it was and they'll continue singing it forever just because exactly right. And then I started singing my now my not to do to do my now my not. Robin Axline: I don't know what it was but we'll continue singing forever just because. Amazing. Tita Lors: do do do do exactly. I started seeing the most annoying songs loudly because usually I do it softly, but I sing it loudly into him and I like projected into his stupid little head. Yeah, you thought my kids were annoying. ⁓ just you wait. Henry again, just you wait. Robin Axline: Do do do do. Wow, this is incredible. Tita Lors: Yeah, he couldn't get off that plane fast enough. Robin Axline: Wow. That is a story and a half. Did he earn? Yeah. ⁓ man. Great. Good job. Tita Lors: Yeah, you pissed me off. I know you can't tell, so I thought I'd say it. Thank you. know and one thing that made me feel really good was like this older Woman came up leaned on his chair and was like, oh, they're so cute. You're such a good mom. I was like, thank you Yeah, and it was right and it was after I was being the most annoying version of myself Robin Axline: that woman. She probably clocked that and she's like, get it. Yeah, maybe. Tita Lors: Right? Yeah. It's so, what do you expect is going to happen? I get it that they're being loud, but it's not like I'm not doing something about it. It's one thing when I do see parents and their kids are being like super rambunctious and they're not actually doing anything to parent their kids. That's one thing I can get how annoying that is and frustrating that is, especially as a parent. Cause I'm a person who's like, if you don't parent your kids, I will. I won't be mean about it, but I will still parent your kids very nicely and gently in the same way that I parent mine. But someone's got to, you know, and then, but when you, when you can tell that someone is actively actually doing their best to calm their children down and to like, make it so that you're not having a horrible experience. Shut the el- Shut up. Mind your business. We're doing the best we can here. She's four. It's like four and two. Those were their ages at the time. But yeah. Anyways. Robin Axline: Damn. That was a wild story, but I totally agree with your last statement. think... I- well, one- one incident recently was like a kid just kept like kicking my seat and making noises and the mother just did nothing. And, you know, whatever. Tita Lors: I know, I know. Yeah, right? And I'm very much the mom who's like, please keep your feet to yourself. If you can't keep your feet to yourself, then here's what's going to happen next. I'm usually that mom or I actually I buy it. There's like this hammock that I buy them so that they're not kicking the seat in front of them because they can't. They can't like swing their feet like this. So they're like propped up. So I do all of these things to make the passengers around me. not be annoyed. Robin Axline: Yeah, you're not, yeah, you're not one of those mothers. I know for sure. So. Tita Lors: Yeah, right, and for this person to have the audacity to talk to my kid in a mean way, like you're threatening my kid with your face. I know, seriously. I'm like, my kid looks scared of you. There's a problem. Robin Axline: That's scary. Yeah, talk about mugs. Tita Lors: I know. Anyways, I'll keep going on this. We'll move on. So, yeah, circle back to this another time. Robin Axline: Yeah, we'll come- we'll circle back. How about that? Yeah, yeah, I've got more to say as well. So, anywho, I think... Correct me if I'm wrong, but it might be time to rate the stories of the day. Tita Lors: you Okay. It is. Okay, let me cover this so I won't see. I don't think these are going to beat out the ones that we have. Robin Axline: I highly doubt it. Tita Lors: Okay, who are we rating? we rating the roommate or the OP for you? Robin Axline: I'm gonna say the roommate, because the OP, even though they're like, am I the A? That's a clearly no. So yeah, roommate. Tita Lors: Yeah, they're not. Mm-hmm. OK, and then mine is the coffee shop guy. Coffee shop Steve. Robin Axline: Coffee shop Steve. Tita Lors: Okay, so how trivial were the results of this person saying that? I don't think it's trivial because they hurt somebody's feelings. Robin Axline: Yeah, I would say that's pretty trivial. I mean, ⁓ I mean, not the opposite. Yeah, because it's like important. Yeah, so. Tita Lors: Yeah, or not trivial. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. something that I noticed is the less, the more, the less trivial we rated higher. Robin Axline: I know that's so wild. I think that's why my brain just did that switch myself. Tita Lors: I think that's why we get so confused. Yeah. Yep, yep, I get it. I know. Robin Axline: You know, like, it's kind of like, ⁓ I was going to bring this up last time, but it reminds me of who's line. ⁓ usually when the host is behind the desk and they hit the buzzers, they're like, they give points, but they don't mean anything. They're like, and the points don't have any value or something like that. Yeah. So this is just all in good fun folks, but we are battling and there is a chart. So watch out. Tita Lors: Mm-hmm. It doesn't do anything. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Exactly. ⁓ we are. We're, I don't think we're trying that hard, but. Robin Axline: Yeah, it's a friendly battle. Tita Lors: It is, yes. Okay, so I'd say it's gonna be high up there because it really isn't that trivial. Like, it was impactful for this person and it's definitely impacted their friendship. I don't think that OP is gonna look at their friendship the same anymore. Yeah, for sure. I would say maybe like a six or seven. Robin Axline: Yeah, I'm gonna go with that too. I'm about a six on that one. Yeah. Tita Lors: Okay, which one? Okay. Six. And then how spiteful is it? It didn't seem like they were doing it out of spite. They were just not thinking. Robin Axline: Yeah, yeah, because they were like, well, we're not going to say it in front of you. Yeah, so I feel like that's kind of spiteful because there's like not adjusting to the sensitivity that this person is asking them to be. So I'd say like a four and a half, five. OK. Tita Lors: but we're just gonna keep saying it. That part's spiteful, yeah. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Okay, let's do it. I'll go for it now. Okay. Starting. Okay. Overreaction. Robin Axline: ⁓ That is a way overreaction, because they referenced snowflake culture and all this garbage. Like, they didn't need to say that. Tita Lors: ⁓ my gosh. Yeah, how is that snowflake culture? Robin Axline: Yeah, that's not snowflake culture. That's just like regular life. It's not like they're saying something like crazy like, ⁓ you didn't like my shoes so you're racist and my feelings are hurt or something. I don't know. Yikes. So in that case. ⁓ Tita Lors: Yeah! Yeah, like... I don't... Whatever. Okay, what are we waiting for? Okay. Again, like a six or seven. Robin Axline: What do you think? Yeah, yeah, I'm gonna go with that. Tita Lors: Okay, I'm gonna go 6.5 since I can't Okay, coffee shop Steve, how trivial were the results? The results were, hopefully, I'm hoping that the reader got even more annoyed and left. So, like, we don't know exactly the results, but that's what I'm hoping the results are, that he got even more annoyed because... Robin Axline: Yeah, me too. Right, mean, if he was that sensitive to Steve, then who knows. Tita Lors: Right? To like sipping coffee and me typing on him typing on his computer. Yeah, that's gonna be even more annoying. Robin Axline: Mm-hmm. It's like, all right, you're gonna really not like your new seat. So, okay, so seven, yeah. Tita Lors: Yeah, enjoy! Have fun with that! Like a seven. Okay, cool. ⁓ And then, how spiteful. ⁓ peak. Uh-huh. Robin Axline: That is peak. That is probably one of the most, I wouldn't say most, but it's one of the higher spitefuls in our canon here. Tita Lors: Yeah, like high intentional spiteful. Do you think it's higher than remember the girl who like spent all of her rent money to to buy tickets to watch out Sandler? Robin Axline: ⁓ yeah. Hmm. That was pretty. No, I wouldn't. I mean, that's kind of in the same realm. It's definitely not higher than that. Yeah. Tita Lors: Movie saves higher than that? No, okay. Okay, same realm, okay I'll give it. I don't think so either. Okay, so I'm gonna give the same score, which was an 8. Okay. And then is it an overreaction? ⁓ it's a reaction. He didn't have to do it. Robin Axline: Yeah. Hmm. No, I mean, he definitely didn't have to do it. It's. That's hard. mean, part of me wants to say, well, he didn't like bring attention to himself, so it wasn't like outwardly like that, but. It was kind of extra. Tita Lors: Yeah. Okay, so like five or below. Robin Axline: Yeah, ⁓ Yeah, that's what I'm thinking. How about just a five? Tita Lors: Okay, let's do it. Okay. That's my big favorite store. Okay, and so the first one got a 17. Okay, it didn't get like a super low low score and then coffee shop Steve got a 20. ⁓ That was... Okay, I don't know if you heard me, so I'm going to repeat the scores. You ready? Okay. I know! Robin Axline: I just got all sad. Okay, alright, it's fine, I'm back online. Tita Lors: Okay. Okay. I don't actually know. I put that's okay, but that's probably not a good title. What should I put as a title for yours? Yeah, that's not a, ⁓ Robin Axline: Let's do the scores. Yeah, I don't like that title. ⁓ Tita Lors: That's so girl with a shirt. With a skirt. Yeah. Robin Axline: roommate. Yeah, girl with the shirt. ⁓ yeah, girl wearing a ⁓ skirt as a top. We'll know what that means. I love that. Tita Lors: Yeah. Okay. All right. So, so for the first one, which is that's so girl wearing a skirt as a top, it was a 17 and then coffee shop Steve was a 20. Robin Axline: I could definitely see that. goes to you. Great story. Tita Lors: Yeah, go Steve. I know, he's half a point away from beating out our top person. I know we should have given him a bigger score somewhere. Robin Axline: Hey, we can keep trying. It'll be dethroned eventually. Tita Lors: I know, we'll find someone. Okay, so that's my petty battles. No, go ahead. Robin Axline: Okay, so, oh yes. So that was the Petty Battle, everybody. And so... Tita Lors: ⁓ no, just follow, like, subscribe, all the fun stuff. Tell your friends that we're funny. Sometimes, usually. Tell your enemies. Tell us about your enemies. Robin Axline: Subscribe, five stars. Tell your enemies. Yeah, that's a better... Tell us about your enemies. ⁓ All right. So I just want to say stay unbothered, celebrate yourself. And again, there will be more Pride content coming all month. So thanks again for joining us. And all we want to say is. Tita Lors: Okay. Robin Axline: Stay petty. Bye! Tita Lors: Bye!