Latest / Gabriel Ellis, PhD | The Curious Mind Podcast / Buddhist Psychology: Toxic Mindfulness

Transcript

Buddhist Psychology: Toxic Mindfulness · Gabriel Ellis, PhD | The Curious Mind Podcast

• 0:00
  Hello everyone and welcome back to another episode of The
• 0:03
  Curious Mind. Today I want to reflect on a
• 0:08
  topic that is interesting for me, both for psychological
• 0:12
  reasons in my psychotherapy practice and also as a
• 0:17
  practitioner of meditation with a strong background in Buddhist
• 0:22
  meditation. I call this episode Toxic
• 0:25
  Mindfulness because over the years I have seen how wrongly
• 0:31
  how in a misleading way, people have applied the idea or the
• 0:37
  concept of mindfulness to their everyday life and also to their
• 0:42
  meditation or mindfulness practice.
• 0:46
  So over the past about 20 years, we obviously have seen a
• 0:50
  popularization of the term and the concept of mindfulness, be
• 0:56
  it as an applied in stress reduction or as a therapy method
• 1:01
  or meditation, or generally as a means and kind of a label to
• 1:09
  improve the feeling of oneself and to the improvement of
• 1:13
  quality of life. All of these have been slapped
• 1:17
  on with basic label or practice of mindfulness.
• 1:23
  Yet many practitioners treat mindfulness in isolation as an
• 1:29
  isolated tool, as if what I practice had nothing to do with
• 1:34
  me as a person and individual, as if it had nothing to do with
• 1:39
  my biography or my subconscious, or with me as a human being as a
• 1:47
  whole. So this would be OK if I could
• 1:51
  deal with isolated objectified techniques.
• 1:56
  So, for example, when I construct a bridge as an
• 2:00
  engineer, it does not matter much how I feel how the
• 2:05
  technique of building a bridge relates to my unconscious, as
• 2:09
  long as I apply the basic tools, the framework, the understanding
• 2:15
  of mathematics, of statics, of material sciences properly, as
• 2:21
  I've learned to do as a as an engineer with bridges, for
• 2:25
  example, I'll be fine and the bridge will stand.
• 2:29
  The quality and the the quality of the bridge does not depend on
• 2:34
  my mental composition, as long as I apply all the necessary
• 2:39
  rules. If I deal, on the other hand,
• 2:43
  with something that like the meaning of life, like needs,
• 2:49
  values, quality of life, the relationship with myself, the
• 2:53
  relationship to others, the world as a whole, or in short,
• 2:58
  about living. If I deal with living as a
• 3:01
  whole, then I cannot use isolated techniques.
• 3:06
  I need to build connections. I have to find meaning.
• 3:10
  I have to relate everything to me, to my experiences, to my
• 3:15
  aspirations, and this is exactly what spiritual traditions, good
• 3:19
  philosophies and comprehensive frameworks of psychotherapy and
• 3:25
  psychology. This is what they do.
• 3:27
  They relate the individual parts always back to the whole being,
• 3:34
  the whole entity of myself. Initially when we encounter such
• 3:42
  frameworks, be it philosophy, spirituality or psychology, it
• 3:46
  is not important that this framework is correct, that this
• 3:51
  framework is right. What these the job of the
• 3:55
  framework is, is that it connects the isolated,
• 4:01
  fragmented aspects of my mind and my unconscious so that my
• 4:06
  whole being has a common vision, so that all the all the isolated
• 4:12
  parts within myself pull together in One Direction and do
• 4:16
  not fight each other as they usually do in everyday life.
• 4:22
  So when we approach mindfulness or therapy or meditation in a
• 4:27
  technical way, applying tools, we make exactly the mistake of
• 4:34
  taking limited ideas, limited, objectified, objectifiable
• 4:40
  concepts, and applying that to me.
• 4:44
  In other words, I use myself. I view myself as an object, as
• 4:49
  something that can be manipulated or fixed.
• 4:54
  I deal with life and living as a technique which it is clearly
• 5:00
  not, and in doing so this is the most important thing.
• 5:05
  In doing so, without knowing it, I will bring in all the
• 5:10
  unhealthy, unreflected qualities that are within me into the way
• 5:17
  that I practice mindfulness, or attention or intention or
• 5:21
  meditation. I cannot help but to do this.
• 5:26
  So whenever I deal with life as a whole, within myself or in
• 5:32
  relationships, I always bring my whole being into it.
• 5:37
  And This is why I cannot separate isolated tools or
• 5:41
  techniques in a healthy way. I bring in, in worst case, my
• 5:48
  greed, my blindness, myself manipulation, my fears, a lack
• 5:55
  of energy, my impatience, my lack of frustration tolerance,
• 6:01
  my wishful fantasies about how how great I would like to be
• 6:06
  when I have successfully implemented some technique, or
• 6:10
  how great my current experience is at that moment.
• 6:13
  All of these biases, all of those aspects of blindness, I
• 6:18
  necessarily bring in to the situation when I try to improve
• 6:26
  my quality of life, my outlook on life with such limited
• 6:30
  techniques. And then whatever I do under the
• 6:34
  label, mindfulness certainly will not contribute to magically
• 6:40
  eliminate my incompetence towards myself that I have kind
• 6:46
  of nourished for such a long time.
• 6:50
  If I do that, the result is a misunderstood practice of
• 6:56
  mindfulness. It starts with a
• 6:58
  misunderstanding of it being a limited technique, and it
• 7:02
  continues to be a misunderstanding.
• 7:05
  The misunderstanding is that such a limited technique could
• 7:09
  contribute to me enjoying life more, or see everything in a
• 7:13
  positive, calm way to slow down life or become something like a
• 7:19
  caricature, hedonistic little Buddha.
• 7:23
  All of these projections, all of these expectations towards any
• 7:28
  mindfulness or meditation technique must remain empty
• 7:34
  wishful fantasies. And precisely because we
• 7:38
  practice bypassing our inner reality with such a tool
• 7:43
  oriented perspective, and because we are not taking all
• 7:48
  parts of ourselves with us, our mindfulness practice must become
• 7:53
  unpleasant or boring or pointless.
• 7:58
  And if we come to that point, we have to make a change.
• 8:02
  Because make no mistake, many practitioners hit a wall in the
• 8:06
  practice. But what we do then is we make a
• 8:09
  change, we recalibrate our practice, we bring in more
• 8:13
  curiosity, we try to understand what is actually going on.
• 8:17
  And this is how I bring parts of myself into the practice.
• 8:21
  I understand that. My response of frustration or
• 8:25
  anger towards myself and so on is a reflection of how I treat
• 8:30
  myself when I hit a wall, when I try to implement such a fanciful
• 8:35
  ideal. And then I'm bound to success,
• 8:42
  to a lack of success. But if we force ourselves to
• 8:46
  continue even beyond that point without a recalibration, then
• 8:50
  the frustration and the negative aspects of not having integrated
• 8:55
  them into the practice, they will strike, strike back, and we
• 8:59
  will build an aversion and an elegy towards anything that is
• 9:04
  related to mindfulness in any way.
• 9:08
  And this is what I call toxic mindfulness.
• 9:11
  This is not just the stagnation, but I will burn the path to a
• 9:16
  healthy mindfulness practice for the near future.
• 9:21
  If that happens, then I will not want to know anything about
• 9:26
  mindfulness or mindfulness related or meditation related
• 9:30
  for a few weeks, months or even years.
• 9:34
  I will think that everything is just a pseudo or an ineffective
• 9:38
  technique and thus even though something like that would be
• 9:42
  good for me, I will just have cultivated such an aversion
• 9:46
  towards anything related that it will.
• 9:49
  This aversion, this allergy will prohibit a healthy access, a new
• 9:55
  access to anything like that. And rightfully so, because I
• 10:02
  started again with the misunderstanding of trying to
• 10:05
  apply an isolated technique to my field of living.
• 10:10
  And this cannot work so because I have applied a technique, a
• 10:15
  tool, anything that I call mindfulness under such an
• 10:21
  approach will have little value because precisely it is not
• 10:28
  embedded in a framework that engages the whole mind, the
• 10:32
  whole spirit. To give you an example of how
• 10:38
  mindfulness is rightly embedded, I will give the example of the
• 10:43
  ancient Buddhist framework something that I have studied
• 10:46
  for a long time. So if you understand as an
• 10:50
  example, again I don't insist that the the Buddhist handling
• 10:53
  of the concept and the idea of mindfulness is the correct one,
• 10:57
  but just to show you how it can make sense.
• 11:01
  So original Buddhism, the goal of it was a radical liberation
• 11:07
  of the mind. This is partly connected to the
• 11:12
  nature of our mind in general, but there are many cultural and
• 11:16
  time sensitive aspects to this concept.
• 11:19
  So we what I mean to say is we we cannot apply what has been
• 11:25
  practiced in North India 2500 years ago to the letter to
• 11:30
  today. We have to adapt it.
• 11:32
  But nonetheless, the practice of Buddhism is embedded in a
• 11:36
  framework that is all about the liberation of the mind, a
• 11:40
  complete liberation of the mind. And in Buddhism, this liberation
• 11:44
  of the mind is brought about by a spiritual practice.
• 11:49
  So in contrast to other spiritual directions or
• 11:53
  religions, it's not about devotion, it's not about grace,
• 11:57
  but it's a practice. It's something that I need to do
• 12:02
  in order to bring about liberation in this practice.
• 12:07
  And this is more specific about Buddhism.
• 12:10
  Some parts of the mind are applied to other parts of the
• 12:15
  mind. Certain aspects of focusing the
• 12:18
  mind are related to parts that are resisting this focus, for
• 12:24
  example. And thereby it gradually the
• 12:30
  practice gradually strengthens the healthy aspects of the mind
• 12:34
  and weakens the unhealthy ones. Now in Buddhism it all starts
• 12:41
  with some sort of a philosophy about the mind.
• 12:45
  There is a certain understanding of how the mind, the soul, the
• 12:48
  spirit are kind of mechanically working.
• 12:52
  There is a certain logic to that, and Buddhism is describing
• 12:56
  that logic. And this again is just an
• 12:59
  example for that represents any kind of large spiritual,
• 13:05
  philosophical or psychological framework that develops such a
• 13:10
  grand idea in Buddhism. It is done in a certain way.
• 13:16
  This is where it starts. And then this leads to a
• 13:20
  fundamental first aspects of of the practice and this is the
• 13:25
  ethical orientation in my life. This is how the practice in
• 13:30
  ancient Buddhism has started reorienting my thoughts, my
• 13:36
  communication, my feelings and my actions towards a healthy
• 13:44
  ethical conduct and foundation, then building on top of that.
• 13:50
  So again, we have the philosophy as our basis.
• 13:53
  The first step of practice is ethical conduct.
• 13:57
  And then based on those two pillars, Buddhism introduces and
• 14:02
  leads to a mental training in the laboratory of the mind and
• 14:07
  this is called meditation. Now in meditation there is
• 14:13
  something that is kind of rightly described as
• 14:18
  mindfulness, and the Poly term Poly is the language in which
• 14:23
  the oldest form of Buddhism was written down or encoded or
• 14:28
  memorized. That aspect is in Poly
• 14:32
  sampajania, and I mentioned this term because usually when you
• 14:36
  look into literature, the term for mindfulness is called Sati,
• 14:41
  and I think I can show or we can show I'm not the only one who
• 14:44
  sees it in this way, that Sati is something else.
• 14:49
  Sati is going back to very specific aspects of the teaching
• 14:53
  of the philosophy of Buddhism and applying mindfulness to
• 14:57
  that. So Sati is the memory, the
• 15:01
  application to certain aspects of the teaching.
• 15:05
  Sampajanya is the mindfulness, something that is closely
• 15:10
  related to what we call mindfulness.
• 15:14
  Now, in the teachings in the Buddhist sutras, Sampajanya is
• 15:21
  practiced before meditation as a preparatory stage.
• 15:26
  Why? It doesn't have a purpose in
• 15:29
  itself. It doesn't make a life better.
• 15:31
  It doesn't make me happy. It doesn't make me whatever
• 15:35
  anything fanciful. It has the specific purpose to
• 15:38
  prepare a certain muscle, mental muscle, I mean.
• 15:43
  It is a metaphor, of course, for meditation.
• 15:48
  The practice of Sampajanya in the Buddhist framework is to be
• 15:54
  mindful of the body movements, to be mindful of my sensory
• 16:01
  experiences, to be mindful when I eat, when I swallow, to be
• 16:07
  mindful when I go to the toilet. Everything that is connected
• 16:11
  with everyday bodily experiences.
• 16:16
  The idea is not to get lost in it as a practice per SE.
• 16:22
  I'm supposed to learn to flex that muscle of mindful attention
• 16:30
  to when I want it to happen. And again, there is little kind
• 16:37
  of benefit by itself in this practice.
• 16:41
  Why? Because original Buddhism is not
• 16:45
  about happiness. It's not about enjoying my food,
• 16:49
  enjoying the time with my friends.
• 16:51
  No. Everything is embedded in a
• 16:53
  framework that should lead towards the complete liberation
• 16:57
  of the mind. Only in this sense, mindfulness
• 17:01
  has a value in original Buddhism.
• 17:05
  Having learned how to flex that muscle, only then we take this
• 17:12
  quality of some pagania, the quality of mindfulness.
• 17:17
  We go into the laboratory of the mind and we apply the quality of
• 17:22
  mindfulness to the inner working of the mind.
• 17:26
  Then I applied, for example, to emotions.
• 17:30
  I applied to thoughts. I applied to the quality of the
• 17:33
  mind per SE. This is how it makes sense.
• 17:37
  So this was an example of how within the Buddhist framework,
• 17:43
  mindfulness and mindful attention has a very specific
• 17:47
  spot, a purpose and a value, and how it contributes to the big
• 17:52
  goal, which in this case is liberation.
• 17:58
  OK, so wrapping it all up, what is my recommendation?
• 18:03
  My advice is if you cannot commit to a specific practice,
• 18:07
  be it Buddhist or philosophy such as Stoicism or skepticism
• 18:13
  or idealism or any kind of grand psychological framework.
• 18:17
  If you cannot commit to it, which is understandable, then
• 18:22
  you can also not expect the results.
• 18:25
  That would come from a dedication to a big model that
• 18:30
  is designed to inspire and engage the whole mind.
• 18:34
  So we have to Curb Your Enthusiasm.
• 18:38
  You have to Curb Your expectations towards the outcome
• 18:41
  of such a tool based approach. First, do not misunderstand
• 18:47
  mindfulness and the label of mindfulness.
• 18:50
  If you practice in such a tool oriented way, don't
• 18:54
  misunderstand it as what Buddhism calls mindfulness or
• 18:58
  any other big system calls mindfulness.
• 19:02
  But see it as a limited western modern technique such as Pilates
• 19:08
  or jogging or nonviolent communication, something with a
• 19:13
  very limited perspective and being also conducive and a
• 19:19
  limited way to our lives. Second, don't overload your
• 19:24
  system with this isolated practice.
• 19:27
  Practice it while it's fun. Let it rest when it's not fun.
• 19:32
  Pick it up when you want to, or move on to the next technique,
• 19:35
  to the next tool that you think will help you in a more isolated
• 19:40
  way and will contribute to a general kind of well-being
• 19:44
  without answering the big questions of life.
• 19:48
  And 3rd in addition to the technique of mindfulness, also
• 19:52
  practice inattention. Practice, not awareness.
• 19:59
  What I mean with that is let go of the understanding that
• 20:02
  everything has to be meaningful. Every experience that you should
• 20:07
  not waste your time, every moment needs to be filled with
• 20:10
  some psychological improvement or the spiritual improvement.
• 20:14
  Let your mind wander. Allow yourself to Daydream, to
• 20:17
  relax, to let loose and to enjoy everyday life and your free
• 20:23
  time. I hope you could benefit from
• 20:28
  such warnings that I gave you about the application of
• 20:34
  isolated techniques into your daily life.
• 20:38
  Reduce your expectations towards such techniques if you can.
• 20:43
  Find with curiosity aspects that do inspire you, that you found
• 20:50
  find really fascinating and thus allow the kind of diverging
• 20:58
  aspects of your mind, the aspects of the unconscious, to
• 21:01
  come together and pull towards one goal.
• 21:07
  And with that, you can assure that you will not be fatigued
• 21:11
  and frustrated by a practice that you have not been fully
• 21:15
  interested to begin with. Let me know in the comments
• 21:19
  section if you have questions or comments, and as usual, I will
• 21:23
  try to pick them up at a later time.
• 21:26
  Thank you for your attention. Goodbye.