Latest / RiseUp - Live Joy Your Way / Ep. 14 – Embrace Who You Are

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Ep. 14 – Embrace Who You Are · RiseUp - Live Joy Your Way

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_01: Today's episode is produced by my friends at WalkWest.
• 0:03
  SPEAKER_01: If you're looking to grow your brand and generate leads through podcast or video production, head over to walkwest.com.
• 0:10
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, let's start the show.
• 0:18
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome to Rise Up.
• 0:20
  SPEAKER_00: Live Joy Your Way with Comedy Wood.
• 0:24
  SPEAKER_00: It's time to step into your power.
• 0:30
  SPEAKER_01: Hi everybody, and welcome to another episode of Rise Up, Live Joy Your Way.
• 0:34
  SPEAKER_01: I am Comedy Wood, and for those of you who don't know me, I'm a certified life coach that works with individuals on healing that relationship with yourself and ending the outsourcing of self-worth so that you can have healthier relationships with other people as well as define success and happiness for yourself on your own terms in both business and in personal matters.
• 0:58
  SPEAKER_01: Now, for those of you who also haven't heard, I am a first-generation American.
• 1:05
  SPEAKER_01: My parents came over to the States when they were in their teens.
• 1:09
  SPEAKER_01: Growing up, I grew up in a small town in Connecticut, and growing up with the name like Comedy was a little difficult.
• 1:18
  SPEAKER_01: It's not a normal name by any standards, and even today, most people either shy away from getting into conversation with me or they butcher it.
• 1:29
  SPEAKER_01: And I own it.
• 1:31
  SPEAKER_01: Now, when I was younger, it was very difficult.
• 1:34
  SPEAKER_01: I remember, and I've shared on several interviews that I've been on before, I remember being in elementary school and hating, absolutely hating when a substitute teacher came in to class because they would have to go through the roll call and they would get to my name, and I knew that there was absolutely no way that they were going to pronounce my name correctly.
• 1:55
  SPEAKER_01: And so each and every time my name would get butchered, and everybody in the class would snicker and stare, and once again it felt like this bright light was shining down on me, pointing out how different I was and how I stuck out.
• 2:10
  SPEAKER_01: And it it was like, you know, a rewounding each time of the fact that I was I I was, I was I was just this different person.
• 2:20
  SPEAKER_01: I was a little bit darker in skin color, and I had this really strange name that nobody could pronounce.
• 2:26
  SPEAKER_01: And so as a young child, I took on this identity that uh I I needed I needed to fit in and I needed to prove my value.
• 2:37
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and you couple that with, you know, the fact that my parents worked really hard.
• 2:42
  SPEAKER_01: They were working really hard at trying to uh be successful and to provide for their family.
• 2:49
  SPEAKER_01: And so you take on those false identities of really not being good enough, because you know, when you when you do stick out and you're not like the rest of the people, there's that false identity that you can acquire, which is the I'm not good enough or I'm not valuable, or in my case, it was I had to prove my value and worth.
• 3:07
  SPEAKER_01: And I also didn't want to be a burden.
• 3:10
  SPEAKER_01: And so I carried that through to adulthood and and I talked openly about how being a parent really was a catalyst for my own personal change and to recognize that if I didn't address these false identities and really have those mindset shifts, um, you know, it was just going to repeat itself for generations because I could see that my own children were starting the people pleasing.
• 3:32
  SPEAKER_01: Because what happened was when I took on these false identities, um, I became a people pleaser.
• 3:38
  SPEAKER_01: So I was a perfectionist by my by personality, but by the same token, when you add in the people pleaser now, being a people-pleasing perfectionist, it was, you know, afraid of failure, but by all means, I had to make sure every single person around me was happy and I needed to do it to the detriment of myself.
• 3:54
  SPEAKER_01: So again, seeing that in my children, it was that wake-up call, that catalyst moment for me of, oh my goodness, if I don't address this and shift this, you know, this is just gonna, this is gonna repeat itself for generations.
• 4:06
  SPEAKER_01: So went through my my transformation, you know, went through all the work and recognized that was really my calling.
• 4:13
  SPEAKER_01: My calling is to really help people understand that their uniqueness is the gift that this world needs.
• 4:23
  SPEAKER_01: And it's just hit me time and time again, even in practice, right?
• 4:26
  SPEAKER_01: So now I'm in private practice, I'm working with people one-on-one, and I'm constantly working with them on the fact that we need not look externally to define our self-worth or our value.
• 4:40
  SPEAKER_01: But if we can really harness our core gifts and really stay true to our value system, we can uh we can internally source that self-worth.
• 4:51
  SPEAKER_01: We can internally source these new identities for ourselves, we can leave the old fractured stories and we can start showing up in this new way.
• 4:59
  SPEAKER_01: And I am so driven, and it comes from a heart-centered place to really help other people on this journey because they can move from being on autopilot and just checking the boxes and getting all the things done to actually enjoying their life and being present in their life.
• 5:18
  SPEAKER_01: But it really hit me recently in a couple of different in a couple of different ways.
• 5:23
  SPEAKER_01: I was talking to somebody recently about doing interviews, and this lady actually suggested that I just change my name or shorten it because I was just joking around about how comedy is such a hard name, and that I sometimes wonder if people shy away from reaching out to me because they're a little bit terrified of saying my name.
• 5:42
  SPEAKER_01: Again, going back to even that story of when I was in uh elementary school, there were some teachers who just would never call on me because even after I told them how to pronounce my name, they couldn't remember, and so then they just would not call on me the rest of the time that they were substituting for my class.
• 5:55
  SPEAKER_01: And so sometimes I do wonder as an adult and in my own private practice, does that come up?
• 6:01
  SPEAKER_01: Were people shy away from reaching out to me because it's it's such a hard name?
• 6:05
  SPEAKER_01: And in that moment with this one lady who said, Well, why don't you just change your name or just shorten it?
• 6:10
  SPEAKER_01: I paused, I slowed down and I paused, and I said, No, absolutely not, because I have come to the point where I recognize that my worth is defined by me, first of all.
• 6:24
  SPEAKER_01: And second of all, if people really want to get to know me, eventually they're gonna learn how to say my name.
• 6:31
  SPEAKER_01: And that's my name.
• 6:33
  SPEAKER_01: That's a unique identifier for me.
• 6:35
  SPEAKER_01: I love my name, it is different.
• 6:38
  SPEAKER_01: I definitely know when people are speaking to me because they either they either butcher it or they or they really pause and they get it, they get it correct.
• 6:46
  SPEAKER_01: But I really recognize that it was um it wasn't something I was willing to compromise on.
• 6:52
  SPEAKER_01: You know, there was no need for me to change who I was in order to make it easier for other people.
• 6:59
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm not saying that in a selfish way, and I think sometimes that comes up even for my clients when I say, you know, it's okay to um put your needs and your feelings, you need to, you need to put them to the forefront, you know, you need to practice self-compassion.
• 7:14
  SPEAKER_01: And so often I'll hear, well, you know, I need to live up to, you know, we live in society, and so we have to, we have to, um, we have to conform.
• 7:23
  SPEAKER_01: And that's when I have that problem.
• 7:25
  SPEAKER_01: I don't think it's it's it's it's conformity that's necessary.
• 7:28
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, we can recognize we live in society, and as long as we're conducting ourselves with um honesty and integrity, we don't have to necessarily conform to what society expects of us, right?
• 7:42
  SPEAKER_01: So I'm not saying that you go out and just do whatever you want and treat people poorly.
• 7:46
  SPEAKER_01: You you act with integrity and you act, you know, you keep that word to yourself and you keep your word to other people, but it's recognizing that that that identity and that self-worth is an inside job.
• 7:58
  SPEAKER_01: And so in that moment when this one individual tried to tell me I should just make it easier for other people, it it slowed me down.
• 8:07
  SPEAKER_01: I did.
• 8:07
  SPEAKER_01: I slowed down and I thought, well, no, I I'm not here to make it easier for other people.
• 8:12
  SPEAKER_01: I don't, I'm not trying to make it difficult.
• 8:14
  SPEAKER_01: It's not like I went out and chose a name that was difficult for people to say, it just happens to be my name, and I'm gonna love it and I'm gonna own it, and I'm gonna calmly correct people when they mispronounce it.
• 8:25
  SPEAKER_01: And I kid you not, I'm on several different podcasts.
• 8:28
  SPEAKER_01: I've guested several different times, and they will get my name right at the very beginning, and halfway through they'll say my name and they'll mispronounce it, and I just very calmly smile and I re remind them it's pronounced comedy.
• 8:41
  SPEAKER_01: And I say it in a loving way.
• 8:43
  SPEAKER_01: I don't say it in a derogatory manner, I don't take offense to it, and I really hold space for the people who are meant to be in any type of relationship with me, whether it's friendships, uh, workplace relationships, um, you know, clients, what have you, whatever relationship, they'll want to take the time to ask me how to pronounce my name and take the time to get to know how to pronounce my name.
• 9:08
  SPEAKER_01: There's no reason for me to conform and change a piece of me in order to make it easier for other people, because again, that would just be giving in to that old false identity that I had as a young child of I needed to change or needed to prove my value.
• 9:24
  SPEAKER_01: And the truth of the matter is, is we are all unique individuals, whether it be in our name, in our laugh, in our smile, in how we walk across the street, in how we approach a you know, a task.
• 9:38
  SPEAKER_01: Those qualities that make us unique are the gift that this world needs.
• 9:43
  SPEAKER_01: Otherwise, we would just be carbon copies of each other.
• 9:46
  SPEAKER_01: And that that that's somewhat boring, if if you don't mind me saying.
• 9:51
  SPEAKER_01: So I just wanted to give you a little bit of a personal story as well as just uh remind everybody that it's okay to be different, it's okay, it's not that we have to conform to society's expectations of us.
• 10:06
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, we live in society and we have to conduct ourselves with integrity and with honesty and with um sincerity to others.
• 10:15
  SPEAKER_01: We're not out there trying to be negligent or trying to hurt them, but there is no selfishness in practicing self-compassion and in honoring who you are and really honing in on your identity and your worth.
• 10:31
  SPEAKER_01: There's never anything wrong with that.
• 10:33
  SPEAKER_01: It cannot be considered selfish, and when we do that, we can in fact rise up and live joy the way we want to.
• 10:42
  SPEAKER_01: Now, if I can support you in any way or if something is coming up in your life and you would like to discuss it, I am happy to get on a call with you.
• 10:51
  SPEAKER_01: Feel free to visit www.chatwithcomedy.com.
• 10:56
  SPEAKER_01: That would take you directly to my calendar and book a time there.
• 11:00
  SPEAKER_01: I offer complimentary calls to those who book a time there.
• 11:04
  SPEAKER_01: Or if you'd like to learn more about me and my coaching and who I work with, feel free to visit my website at www.comonywood.com.
• 11:14
  SPEAKER_01: That's K-A-M-I-N-I W-O-O-D.com and visit my website.
• 11:19
  SPEAKER_01: And you can you can, like I said, read about me, read about my coaching, read about who I work well with.
• 11:25
  SPEAKER_01: And I also have a lot of blogs on there that talk about different aspects of just really truly identifying and rediscovering.
• 11:33
  SPEAKER_01: It's a rediscovery of your authentic self and learning to live life the way you want to live it.
• 11:39
  SPEAKER_01: And until next time, I'm Comedy Wood.
• 11:44
  SPEAKER_00: Thanks for listening to Rise Up.
• 11:46
  SPEAKER_00: Always remember your uniqueness and the gift that you bring to this world.
• 11:51
  SPEAKER_00: Life happens for you, not to you.