Latest / Mic Drop Comedy / Jon on Trump_s Death Rumors _ Kosta on the Media Reaction to Charlie Kirk_s Killing

Transcript

Jon on Trump_s Death Rumors _ Kosta on the Media Reaction to Charlie Kirk_s Killing · Mic Drop Comedy

• 0:03
  Speaker 1: I'm trying to catch up since we've been gone.
• 0:06
  Speaker 2: The economy hit a brick wall, stalling on jobs while
• 0:10
  Speaker 2: inflation continued to rise. So Trump met with Putin in
• 0:15
  Speaker 2: Alaska to force Ukraine to accept.
• 0:19
  Speaker 1: Crackle Barrel's new logo.
• 0:22
  Speaker 2: While the boo boo released a new Epstein file and
• 0:26
  Speaker 2: Taylor got engaged.
• 0:28
  Speaker 1: It's a blur. It's all a blur.
• 0:32
  Speaker 2: But all of it takes a backseat to continuing concerns
• 0:36
  Speaker 2: over the president's health.
• 0:37
  Speaker 1: We haven't really seen much of the president over the
• 0:39
  Speaker 1: last week. Basically absent from the public eye. He's clearly
• 0:42
  Speaker 1: hiding something about his health.
• 0:43
  Speaker 3: The hashtag Trump is dead trends it on social media.
• 0:47
  Speaker 1: What the f * * *, you people? You reporters
• 0:50
  Speaker 1: have no chill.
• 0:53
  Speaker 2: Guy can't take a few days for some R &
• 0:55
  Speaker 2: R and a non-surgical breast reduction.
• 0:58
  Speaker 1: Without everybody.
• 1:01
  Speaker 2: Suddenly pulling out the toe tags on the president. It
• 1:05
  Speaker 2: does say something about the ubiquity of Donald Trump in
• 1:08
  Speaker 2: our lives that we don't hear from him for 20
• 1:12
  Speaker 2: minutes and we're like, he's dead. I think he's... Check,
• 1:20
  Speaker 2: can we track him? It's how do you know he's dead? Well,
• 1:25
  Speaker 2: it's been seven minutes since the word new scum has
• 1:29
  Speaker 2: come up on my feet.
• 1:31
  Speaker 1: He must be dead. But of course, Trump didn't die
• 1:34
  Speaker 1: in office, but I wouldn't put it past him.
• 1:38
  Speaker 2: Trying once again to take credit for something Biden had
• 1:41
  Speaker 2: already accomplished.
• 1:54
  Speaker 1: With that being said, Trump is.
• 1:55
  Speaker 2: Alive, although I definitively would not go so far as
• 1:58
  Speaker 2: to say alive and kicking.
• 2:01
  Speaker 1: Something is up with his health.
• 2:04
  Speaker 2: New today, the White House revealing President Trump has been
• 2:06
  Speaker 2: diagnosed with a condition called chronic venous insufficiency.
• 2:10
  Speaker 4: Chronic venous insufficiency, a relatively common condition, something that gets
• 2:14
  Speaker 4: more common as you get older.
• 2:19
  Speaker 1: Oh, I'm sorry.
• 2:20
  Speaker 2: Did I wander into the wrong classroom at boring university?
• 2:25
  Speaker 5: Can someone please explain his physical condition to me in
• 2:35
  Speaker 5: a way I'd be interested in the style of perhaps
• 2:38
  Speaker 5: a world-weary Brit?
• 2:40
  Speaker 6: His ankles, swollen and straining over his oxfords, aren't just
• 2:45
  Speaker 6: unsightly cankles. They're flashing neon signs of a body under pressure.
• 3:01
  Speaker 1: Put that Attenborough right into my veins!
• 3:06
  Speaker 2: The aging president struggles to keep up with the herd.
• 3:15
  Speaker 1: And as night falls, it's clear.
• 3:18
  Speaker 7: The lions will eat well tonight.
• 3:23
  Speaker 1: On a menu. On a menu. Wait, I want to
• 3:30
  Speaker 1: tell you the menu. On a menu of Kenkel's Epoiv.
• 3:41
  Speaker 2: It might not have been worth the walk, but I
• 3:44
  Speaker 2: felt I owed it to you. By the way, it's
• 3:48
  Speaker 2: not just the cankles he's got going. The whole meat
• 3:51
  Speaker 2: bag seems to be having some kind of drainage issue.
• 3:55
  Speaker 8: These images of the president have drawn attention in recent days,
• 3:58
  Speaker 8: showing a parent bruising on his hands that was covered
• 4:01
  Speaker 8: with makeup.
• 4:02
  Speaker 1: Jesus, Grandpa! Put him away! Holy shit! And what's with
• 4:10
  Speaker 1: the makeup? It's not like you can treat leprosy at Sephora. God.
• 4:19
  Speaker 2: By the way, may I remind you, these are just
• 4:22
  Speaker 2: the parts poking out that we can see.
• 4:27
  Speaker 1: I bet everything on that body not covered.
• 4:29
  Speaker 2: By clothes is all f * * * ed.
• 4:30
  Speaker 1: Up right now.
• 4:33
  Speaker 2: For all we know, the guy's gone full grimace. Blotchy hands,
• 4:41
  Speaker 2: puffy ankles. Although, to be fair to Trump, people got
• 4:45
  Speaker 2: a little nitpicky.
• 4:47
  Speaker 4: We can see that there is sort of like a
• 4:48
  Speaker 4: lumpy situation going on on Trump's forehead.
• 4:50
  Speaker 1: One of his eyes is half closed. All right, now
• 4:54
  Speaker 1: you're just being mean. He's got swollen ankles, go a
• 4:58
  Speaker 1: little bit on the thing, but look at his f
• 4:59
  Speaker 1: * * * ing eyes. Lumpy.
• 5:07
  Speaker 2: See, this is the problem with our superficial Instagram culture.
• 5:12
  Speaker 2: We have unrealistic expectations in this country about the amount
• 5:16
  Speaker 2: of fluid our bodies should be able to clear subcutaneously.
• 5:23
  Speaker 7: It sends the wrong message to young people.
• 5:27
  Speaker 1: These really are not medical appraisals. It's just more like insults.
• 5:32
  Speaker 2: Like, hey, according to the Mayo Clinic, why are his
• 5:36
  Speaker 2: eyes so lumpy? Insiders have been calling the president Skippy
• 5:43
  Speaker 2: because under his skin looks a little extra chunky. Hey,
• 5:50
  Speaker 2: the president's neck looks so much like Betty White's vagina
• 5:54
  Speaker 2: than Milton Berle.
• 6:06
  Speaker 9: Too soon?
• 6:11
  Speaker 1: I was going to do the.
• 6:15
  Speaker 2: The reason we did the tag to that was going
• 6:18
  Speaker 2: to be that Milton Berle tried to f * *
• 6:19
  Speaker 2: * it. You clearly rejected the premise.
• 6:25
  Speaker 1: Why should I.
• 6:25
  Speaker 4: I.
• 6:28
  Speaker 1: Came with the... Hmm?
• 6:30
  Speaker 7: Hmm. Hmm.
• 6:32
  Speaker 1: Hmm.
• 6:39
  Speaker 2: Normally, we might be able to dismiss these symptoms. But
• 6:43
  Speaker 2: Trump himself seems very focused these days on securing a
• 6:47
  Speaker 2: prime piece of afterlife real estate.
• 6:50
  Speaker 1: I want to try and get to heaven. I'm sure
• 6:56
  Speaker 1: you do. But you know what?
• 6:59
  Speaker 2: Hey, look, the first step is always admitting you have
• 7:00
  Speaker 2: a problem. Maybe you can turn this thing around. If
• 7:03
  Speaker 2: there's a will, there's a way. for you to get
• 7:05
  Speaker 2: yourself back up that golden escalator to the heavens.
• 7:10
  Speaker 8: Just moments ago, Democrats on the panel posted this image
• 7:12
  Speaker 8: with a caption that reads, quote, here it is. We
• 7:15
  Speaker 8: got Trump's birthday note to Jeffrey Epstein that the president
• 7:19
  Speaker 8: said doesn't exist.
• 7:21
  Speaker 1: Going down. Oh, well, it's OK. It's OK.
• 7:33
  Speaker 2: But it's not just the physical symptoms that make you
• 7:35
  Speaker 2: think the president is transitioning from this mortal coil. It's
• 7:39
  Speaker 2: that whenever any of his biggest supporters are with.
• 7:42
  Speaker 1: Him, it sounds like they're saying goodbye.
• 7:47
  Speaker 9: Mr.
• 7:48
  Speaker 1: President. Working for this government, for you, is the greatest
• 7:52
  Speaker 1: honor of my life.
• 7:53
  Speaker 11: When history looks back on you, how would you like
• 7:56
  Speaker 11: to be remembered?
• 7:57
  Speaker 10: I'll never forget standing in the East Room with you,
• 7:59
  Speaker 10: surrounded by the coal miners from around this country, where
• 8:03
  Speaker 10: you said, hey, big, beautiful coal.
• 8:08
  Speaker 1: Remember, Mr. President? And I said, no, these are humans.
• 8:12
  Speaker 1: The coal is what they dig for. Anyway, we'll miss you.
• 8:20
  Speaker 2: And have you ever been to one of those funerals
• 8:21
  Speaker 2: where there's a video of the recently departed? Well, six
• 8:25
  Speaker 2: days ago, the White House released one of them.
• 8:30
  Speaker 4: Let me share some of the biggest lessons I've learned
• 8:32
  Speaker 4: from a lifetime spent building dreams.
• 8:34
  Speaker 5: First, if you think that you're too young to do
• 8:38
  Speaker 5: something great, let me.
• 8:39
  Speaker 1: Tell you that you are wrong. You're not too young.
• 8:45
  Speaker 2: There's no such thing as too young. I'm having trouble
• 8:58
  Speaker 2: getting a read on these people. If you're watching this video,
• 9:09
  Speaker 2: I'm already dead. But by the way, once you begin
• 9:15
  Speaker 2: to notice this pattern, you begin to see really the
• 9:19
  Speaker 2: whole vibe around this president is very make-a-wish kid. Everyone
• 9:25
  Speaker 2: who shows up to his office tries to make one
• 9:28
  Speaker 2: of his dreams come true. We thought it was only
• 9:31
  Speaker 2: appropriate to present you with.
• 9:36
  Speaker 1: An honorary United States Marshal Service badge. Look how happy
• 9:54
  Speaker 1: they made him. Gee whiz, Mr. Real Marshall?
• 9:59
  Speaker 2: This is even better than when they let me drive
• 10:03
  Speaker 2: a garbage truck.
• 10:06
  Speaker 1: Now you might be saying to yourself, and the make
• 10:08
  Speaker 1: a wish thing is a little much.
• 10:10
  Speaker 2: A grown man would recognize when people are condescending to him,
• 10:14
  Speaker 2: treating him like a child, tiptoeing around his fragile ego
• 10:18
  Speaker 2: with the idea that this person is so easily manipulated
• 10:21
  Speaker 2: that even the cheapest of gestures could be persuasive.
• 10:26
  Speaker 1: You wouldn't f * * * ing think that.
• 10:29
  Speaker 11: It is the trophy that the winner of the FIFA
• 10:31
  Speaker 11: World Cup wins.
• 10:33
  Speaker 1: Only the FIFA president and then those who win can
• 10:37
  Speaker 1: touch it. Because it's for winners only.
• 10:40
  Speaker 12: And since you are a winner, of course, you can
• 10:43
  Speaker 12: as well touch it.
• 10:49
  Speaker 1: Also, I have in the bag Thor's hammer. But only
• 11:02
  Speaker 1: the bravest boy can pick it up. Only the bravest
• 11:06
  Speaker 1: boy can... Oh, my God, you did it. You picked
• 11:11
  Speaker 1: it out. You're sore.
• 11:20
  Speaker 2: I'm telling you, though, man, this goes way past trophy
• 11:24
  Speaker 2: fondling and cereal box deputy badges. The people around Trump
• 11:28
  Speaker 2: know that he is a never-ending, insatiable black hole of wishes.
• 11:34
  Speaker 13: It's well past time that President Trump was awarded the
• 11:37
  Speaker 13: Nobel Peace Prize.
• 11:38
  Speaker 1: When Operation Warp Speed was started, it was a massive
• 11:42
  Speaker 1: success for our country.
• 11:43
  Speaker 14: And I do agree that President Trump should get the
• 11:44
  Speaker 14: Nobel Prize for that.
• 11:45
  Speaker 2: I'm thinking that since he's basically taught the world Trade economics.
• 11:51
  Speaker 2: He might be up for the Nobel on economics. Oh,
• 11:54
  Speaker 2: Donald Trump, the first recipient of the Nobel Prize variety pack.
• 12:00
  Speaker 1: Economics, chemistry. Oh, here's one for monogamy. It's really entirely
• 12:04
  Speaker 1: made up.
• 12:07
  Speaker 2: Sure, why not just fire up the 3D printer and
• 12:09
  Speaker 2: print all the Nobels for Donnie? Or perhaps they sell
• 12:13
  Speaker 2: them at Spencer Gifts, which still exists.
• 12:16
  Speaker 1: It's a real.
• 12:18
  Speaker 1: You may have killed our.
• 12:18
  Speaker 2: Bookstores, Bezos, but in America, we still shop in person
• 12:22
  Speaker 2: for our lava lamps and our dildos that suction cup
• 12:26
  Speaker 2: to the wall. By the way, word to the wise,
• 12:38
  Speaker 2: the seal is unreliable. Everything about the treatment of this
• 12:53
  Speaker 2: president screams, make a wish, kid. Oh, you'll meet your
• 12:57
  Speaker 2: favorite celebrities and they'll dress up for you. Oh, I
• 13:02
  Speaker 2: know why you're president.
• 13:04
  Speaker 1: You won't be able to sleep at your home.
• 13:06
  Speaker 2: And it probably feels a little scary and a little uncomfortable.
• 13:10
  Speaker 1: So makeover. Oh, and did you get an owie?
• 13:19
  Speaker 2: No, no, it doesn't look weird at all. In fact,
• 13:21
  Speaker 2: we're all wearing them. It looks so cool. But if
• 13:28
  Speaker 2: you think there are some government institutions that are above
• 13:31
  Speaker 2: this kind of insulting obsequiousness, you would be wrong. Today,
• 13:35
  Speaker 2: the Supreme Court bent over backwards to grant Trump even
• 13:38
  Speaker 2: his most unconstitutional wishes.
• 13:41
  Speaker 1: Like, maybe you can arrest people for looking Mexican.
• 13:44
  Speaker 15: Breaking at this hour, the Supreme Court again has backed
• 13:46
  Speaker 15: President Trump's approach towards immigration. It is now ruled that
• 13:51
  Speaker 15: they are allowing federal agents to proceed with raids in
• 13:54
  Speaker 15: Southern California if they target people for deportation based on
• 13:58
  Speaker 15: their race or language.
• 14:00
  Speaker 2: Hey, the good news, the Supreme Court supports affirmative action
• 14:03
  Speaker 2: based on race.
• 14:05
  Speaker 1: The bad news is that action is ICE deporting you.
• 14:08
  Speaker 1: What the * * * *?
• 14:10
  Speaker 2: What kind of a make-a-wish kid wants to nullify the
• 14:13
  Speaker 2: Fourth Amendment? I'm beginning to think Trump isn't a benign,
• 14:18
  Speaker 2: suffering child at all. I'm beginning to think everybody treats
• 14:21
  Speaker 2: Trump like this, not because he's the make-a-wish kid, but
• 14:25
  Speaker 2: because he's that Twilight Zone kid. that anytime somebody made
• 14:29
  Speaker 2: him mad, he sent them out to the cornfield.
• 14:33
  Speaker 1: You're a bad man.
• 14:35
  Speaker 16: You're a very bad man.
• 14:37
  Speaker 12: And you keep thinking bad thoughts about me.
• 14:43
  Speaker 1: Think I'm wrong? Let's play a game.
• 14:47
  Speaker 2: I'll play you two clips, and I'll bet you won't
• 14:50
  Speaker 2: be able to tell the difference between scared townspeople trying
• 14:53
  Speaker 2: not to be sent to the cornfield and Trump's sycophants.
• 14:58
  Speaker 1: It's good what you've done to Dan. You've been doing
• 15:00
  Speaker 1: an amazing job.
• 15:01
  Speaker 17: It was swell.
• 15:02
  Speaker 1: It was just swell. Great job, sir. Okay, the production
• 15:06
  Speaker 1: values give it away. But you gotta admit, it's f
• 15:11
  Speaker 1: * * * ing weird. And it never ends. Good
• 15:15
  Speaker 1: that you've done that. Oh, it's real good. People were...
• 15:18
  Speaker 1: I'm applauding you.
• 15:19
  Speaker 7: You're a good boy, Anthony.
• 15:20
  Speaker 10: You're not just courageous, you're actually fearless.
• 15:22
  Speaker 1: Everybody loves you, Anthony. They love you, son.
• 15:25
  Speaker 11: The most consequential president of the modern era, if not
• 15:27
  Speaker 11: all American history.
• 15:31
  Speaker 1: Only American history? To the cornfields! But this is where
• 15:38
  Speaker 1: we're at, America. This is where we're at.
• 15:48
  Speaker 7: For your consideration, a nation held hostage by the fragile
• 15:54
  Speaker 7: ego of a man-baby president who may or may not
• 15:59
  Speaker 7: be dying of hand syphilis.
• 16:07
  Speaker 1: But is puffy.
• 16:08
  Speaker 2: He's very, he's certainly, I don't know if he's dying.
• 16:12
  Speaker 2: He's weirdly puffy. And who we're trapped with for at
• 16:17
  Speaker 2: least three more years.
• 16:20
  Speaker 1: You might remember back in July, the Wall Street Journal
• 16:23
  Speaker 1: released a bombshell report that Trump had given Jeffrey Epstein
• 16:27
  Speaker 1: a creepy birthday card that suggested the two of them
• 16:30
  Speaker 1: had a dark sexual secret. Although obviously any sexual secret
• 16:34
  Speaker 1: is a dark sexual secret. No one's ever been like,
• 16:38
  Speaker 1: don't tell anyone, but I like missionary. Now, of course,
• 16:43
  Speaker 1: Trump completely denied this card even existed. And just to
• 16:47
  Speaker 1: be sure, they even asked the woman who compiled all
• 16:50
  Speaker 1: of Jeffrey Epstein's birthday cards. And luckily, she had 20
• 16:53
  Speaker 1: years of free time.
• 16:55
  Speaker 18: The message is compiled by Epstein's accomplice, Ghislaine Maxwell, currently
• 16:59
  Speaker 18: serving a 20-year federal prison sentence for sex trafficking. In
• 17:03
  Speaker 18: a recent interview, she told Deputy Attorney General Todd Blanch,
• 17:06
  Speaker 18: the president's former lawyer, that she could not remember if
• 17:09
  Speaker 18: Trump contributed a message to the book.
• 17:12
  Speaker 1: Well, that sure is lucky for Trump. You know, he
• 17:16
  Speaker 1: sent his deputy attorney general to privately talk with Ghislaine
• 17:20
  Speaker 1: Maxwell while she's in a federal prison system he controls.
• 17:24
  Speaker 1: And she doesn't remember anything incriminating about him. Surprising. What
• 17:28
  Speaker 1: a nice thing for her to say about the president
• 17:31
  Speaker 1: without receiving anything in return. Right.
• 17:35
  Speaker 9: Right.
• 17:37
  Speaker 1: Right.
• 17:39
  Speaker 18: Maxwell recently receiving a highly unusual transfer to a minimum
• 17:42
  Speaker 18: security prison just days after her interview with the DOJ.
• 17:46
  Speaker 1: Come on, guys. Come on. Did you have to do
• 17:49
  Speaker 1: the quid pro quo that fast? You could have at
• 17:53
  Speaker 1: least waited a week before you sent her to the
• 17:54
  Speaker 1: prison with the fence you can just slide under. Look
• 18:00
  Speaker 1: at this sign. What the kind of prison has a
• 18:04
  Speaker 1: sign like that? Is this prison run by Texas Roadhouse?
• 18:11
  Speaker 1: This looks like the sign for a church where the
• 18:12
  Speaker 1: pastor plays an electric guitar. Also, Camp Brian? I think
• 18:19
  Speaker 1: my parents took me there for vacation once when I
• 18:21
  Speaker 1: was eight. That's the prison with the big water slide, right?
• 18:25
  Speaker 1: I'm joking. It looks nice. But that place is brutal.
• 18:28
  Speaker 1: Room service stops at 10 p.m. So there you have it.
• 18:31
  Speaker 1: The media says there's a letter. Trump's people say there's not.
• 18:35
  Speaker 1: So I guess we'll never know who's telling the truth.
• 18:38
  Speaker 1: Breaking news.
• 18:38
  Speaker 8: For the first time, we are seeing an image of
• 18:41
  Speaker 8: the letter signed by Donald Trump for Jeffrey Epstein's 50th birthday.
• 18:46
  Speaker 1: Okay, so we know who's telling the truth. But this
• 18:50
  Speaker 1: is huge. Epstein's estate finally released the actual birthday card,
• 18:55
  Speaker 1: and it's as creepy as you'd expect.
• 18:58
  Speaker 19: The drawing shows the outline of a woman's torso, breasts,
• 19:01
  Speaker 19: and hips with a message that reads, in part, we
• 19:04
  Speaker 19: have certain things in common, Jeffrey, and later, enigmas never age.
• 19:09
  Speaker 19: Before the closing words, happy birthday, and may every day
• 19:12
  Speaker 19: be another wonderful secret.
• 19:14
  Speaker 4: The future president's signature is a squiggly Donald below her
• 19:19
  Speaker 4: waist mimicking pubic hair.
• 19:24
  Speaker 1: Okay, okay. I know what we're all thinking. That's an
• 19:27
  Speaker 1: excellent drawing. And I think Donald Trump might have a
• 19:33
  Speaker 1: wonderful future as an artist. Look, now obviously that's a
• 19:38
  Speaker 1: crappy drawing, but as a student of history, one thing
• 19:41
  Speaker 1: I've learned is when a certain type of person dreams
• 19:44
  Speaker 1: of being a great artist, we should encourage that instead.
• 19:58
  Speaker 1: Even without the drawing, that is a strangely cryptic birthday card, no?
• 20:03
  Speaker 1: Enigmas never age. There's a wonderful secret. Although to be fair,
• 20:07
  Speaker 1: it could be totally innocent. We have certain things in common,
• 20:10
  Speaker 1: could mean anything. What are the things that we know
• 20:12
  Speaker 1: about Epstein? He was a human trafficker. He was a pedophile.
• 20:16
  Speaker 1: It could be any of those things. And I see
• 20:20
  Speaker 1: why Trump's people denied that this card even existed. But
• 20:24
  Speaker 1: now that we've all seen it, there's nothing left for
• 20:25
  Speaker 1: them to do except continue to deny.
• 20:28
  Speaker 18: The White House this morning flatly denying the president drew
• 20:31
  Speaker 18: or signed the message.
• 20:33
  Speaker 13: The president did not write this letter.
• 20:35
  Speaker 1: He did not sign this letter. From what I see,
• 20:37
  Speaker 1: it's not a signature.
• 20:37
  Speaker 13: I've seen Donald Trump sign a million things.
• 20:40
  Speaker 1: This doesn't look like his signature to you?
• 20:42
  Speaker 10: Nope.
• 20:43
  Speaker 11: I can tell you my father does not sketch out
• 20:45
  Speaker 11: cartoon drawings.
• 20:46
  Speaker 1: OK, OK. Hey, I'll give Eric Trump a pass. He
• 20:50
  Speaker 1: has no way of knowing what a birthday card from
• 20:52
  Speaker 1: his father would look like. But they're saying it's not
• 21:01
  Speaker 1: Trump's signature. If only we had one to, I don't know,
• 21:05
  Speaker 1: one million examples of his signature that we could compare
• 21:09
  Speaker 1: it to. The far left is the birthday book signature.
• 21:13
  Speaker 16: The one in the middle is a Trump signature from
• 21:15
  Speaker 16: a 1999 letter to Larry King. And on the right
• 21:20
  Speaker 16: is from a signed letter to Rudy Giuliani in 2001.
• 21:25
  Speaker 9: Or these from 1984 in a letter to the New
• 21:27
  Speaker 9: York Times.
• 21:27
  Speaker 1: 1995 to a Palm Beach official. 2014 in a note
• 21:31
  Speaker 1: to Keith Olbermann.
• 21:32
  Speaker 8: There's even an inscription in a Trump book that Epstein
• 21:35
  Speaker 8: owned from 1997.
• 21:37
  Speaker 4: You'll see all the basic shapes are exactly the same.
• 21:41
  Speaker 1: Yes, yes, I see. So if you look at the
• 21:44
  Speaker 1: angle of the downward arc on the capital D, you
• 21:47
  Speaker 1: can see that you don't have to do any of
• 21:49
  Speaker 1: this shit. It's his signature. It's his signature. It is
• 22:00
  Speaker 1: funny how they're fact checking one piece of evidence with
• 22:03
  Speaker 1: another pieces of evidence. Like these guys are like, if
• 22:06
  Speaker 1: you look closely, Trump's signature on a birthday card to
• 22:09
  Speaker 1: his pedophile best friend matches his signature on a note
• 22:12
  Speaker 1: he wrote to his pedophile best friend. So we have
• 22:17
  Speaker 1: his signature on this letter. It matches the signature on
• 22:20
  Speaker 1: all of these other letters. Can you please just admit
• 22:23
  Speaker 1: he signed the letter? Please just admit it. Do what's right.
• 22:27
  Speaker 1: I'm begging you about the Epstein case.
• 22:30
  Speaker 11: Would the White House support a professional handwriting expert review
• 22:34
  Speaker 11: of the document released yesterday to prove that it's not
• 22:37
  Speaker 11: the president's signature?
• 22:39
  Speaker 1: Sure, we would support that.
• 22:41
  Speaker 13: And in fact, I have already seen many forensic analysts
• 22:45
  Speaker 13: of signatures coming out. I believe it was the Daily
• 22:47
  Speaker 13: Signal that published a piece with three separate signature analysts
• 22:51
  Speaker 13: who said that this absolutely was not the president's authentic signature.
• 22:56
  Speaker 1: Yes. No. Yes. I think we have a photo of
• 23:00
  Speaker 1: the signature analyst who said this wasn't Donald Trump's. It's
• 23:07
  Speaker 1: a credible source. It's a credible source. This is actually
• 23:14
  Speaker 1: embarrassing for you guys. Just denying it at this point
• 23:17
  Speaker 1: is not enough. Does anyone in the GOP want to
• 23:21
  Speaker 1: help Trump out here? Congressman Burchett? I mean, anybody can
• 23:24
  Speaker 1: do a signature.
• 23:25
  Speaker 11: We've seen the auto pen has been used quite a
• 23:27
  Speaker 11: bit with the Biden administration.
• 23:30
  Speaker 1: Yeah, that's what I'm talking about. That's what I'm talking about.
• 23:33
  Speaker 1: Go from the signature to the auto pen to Joe Biden.
• 23:36
  Speaker 10: Yeah.
• 23:38
  Speaker 1: But I bet you can get there quicker, though. Sure,
• 23:40
  Speaker 1: these girls were underage, but you know who was overage?
• 23:42
  Speaker 1: Joe Biden. Boom, did it.
• 23:43
  Speaker 6: Okay.
• 23:48
  Speaker 1: So they can't come up with a credible excuse. But
• 23:50
  Speaker 1: the truth is, Trump can probably still wiggle out of
• 23:53
  Speaker 1: this thing as long as new information stops coming up.
• 23:56
  Speaker 17: A second entry in the Epstein birthday book released yesterday
• 23:59
  Speaker 17: appears to mention Donald Trump as well. The page was
• 24:02
  Speaker 17: reportedly compiled by a member at Mar-a-Lago who included a
• 24:05
  Speaker 17: photo of Epstein and others holding up a giant fake
• 24:08
  Speaker 17: check purportedly from Trump to Epstein for $ 22, 500. The attached
• 24:13
  Speaker 17: letter jokes that the check was payment for a deal
• 24:15
  Speaker 17: in which Epstein sold Trump a, quote, fully depreciated woman
• 24:19
  Speaker 17: in 2003. Wow.
• 24:25
  Speaker 1: I am shocked and frankly disgusted that Joe Biden's auto
• 24:29
  Speaker 1: pen did this also. But this is wild. This is wild.
• 24:40
  Speaker 1: Trump was such a notorious creep that other people were
• 24:43
  Speaker 1: mentioning it in their birthday cards. I've never gotten a
• 24:47
  Speaker 1: birthday card that was like, happy birthday, Michael. Remember our
• 24:50
  Speaker 1: high school gym coach who always let the girls have
• 24:52
  Speaker 1: lunch in his office? That was crazy. Anyways, here's to
• 24:55
  Speaker 1: another 40 more years, pal. Look, I'm not going to
• 25:01
  Speaker 1: pretend that I completely understand whatever this gross inside joke
• 25:04
  Speaker 1: is supposed to mean. All I know is it's very
• 25:07
  Speaker 1: disrespectful to refer to someone as a fully depreciated woman.
• 25:11
  Speaker 1: The correct term is a refurbished woman pro max 13.
• 25:15
  Speaker 1: Since taking office, Donald Trump has been spending a lot
• 25:17
  Speaker 1: of time redecorating from paving over the Rose Garden to
• 25:21
  Speaker 1: turning the Oval Office into a cash for gold storefront.
• 25:25
  Speaker 1: But now that the White House is perfect, Trump has
• 25:28
  Speaker 1: moved on to renovating the Department of Defense.
• 25:31
  Speaker 16: President Trump has just signed an executive order to rename
• 25:34
  Speaker 16: the Department of Defense. The president wants to change the
• 25:37
  Speaker 16: name back to the Department of War.
• 25:39
  Speaker 1: Hmm. Not a good sign when a country that's not
• 25:44
  Speaker 1: at war suddenly sets up a Department of War. What's
• 25:48
  Speaker 1: the president trying to tell us about what's going to happen?
• 25:52
  Speaker 1: It's like when your doctor asks you to come in
• 25:54
  Speaker 1: and discuss your test results in person. Why? So we
• 26:00
  Speaker 1: can high five over how few STDs I have? So
• 26:07
  Speaker 1: why is Trump doing this? We won the First World War.
• 26:10
  Speaker 1: We won the Second World War. We won everything before
• 26:14
  Speaker 1: that and in between.
• 26:15
  Speaker 2: And then we decided to go woke and we changed
• 26:17
  Speaker 2: the name to Department of Defense.
• 26:19
  Speaker 1: Oh, yeah. So the military went woke when they changed
• 26:24
  Speaker 1: their name in 1947, that famously woke time period in
• 26:29
  Speaker 1: American history. I guess wokeness is also why we lost
• 26:34
  Speaker 1: in Vietnam, huh? Big mistake to carpet bomb that country
• 26:37
  Speaker 1: with DVDs of The Black Little Mermaid. But okay, the
• 26:45
  Speaker 1: new name is supposed to reflect that our military is
• 26:48
  Speaker 1: no longer woke. What does that mean exactly? Pete Hegseth,
• 26:52
  Speaker 1: could you tell us? Hey, but make it funky.
• 26:54
  Speaker 10: We're going to go on offense, not just on defense.
• 26:57
  Speaker 10: Maximum lethality. Not tepid legality. Violent effect. Not politically correct.
• 27:08
  Speaker 1: Deadly force, not a gender studies course. It's World War III,
• 27:14
  Speaker 1: not Adam and Steve. Agent Orange, not... Ah, f *
• 27:20
  Speaker 1: * *, I wrote myself into a poem. But yeah,
• 27:24
  Speaker 1: slam poetry, great. And his sobriety Edgar Allen bro over
• 27:29
  Speaker 1: here picked up the one hobby that's actually worse than drinking.
• 27:34
  Speaker 1: By the way, if the vibe we're going for is
• 27:36
  Speaker 1: maximum lethality, we should probably also think about changing the
• 27:39
  Speaker 1: name of the Pentagon. That name's not scaring anyone. Pentagon?
• 27:44
  Speaker 1: That's just a pretentious square. You want the world quivering
• 27:49
  Speaker 1: in their boots? From now on, it should be the
• 27:53
  Speaker 1: Polygon of Doom. So yes. The Department of Defense is
• 28:06
  Speaker 1: now officially the Department of War, except, funny thing, it's
• 28:09
  Speaker 1: not really literally officially, actually.
• 28:13
  Speaker 2: To be clear, officially changing the name of the Department
• 28:15
  Speaker 2: of Defense would require an act of Congress and 60
• 28:18
  Speaker 2: votes in the Senate, which Trump could not get.
• 28:20
  Speaker 17: It appears that this executive order is not really changing
• 28:23
  Speaker 17: the name completely from DOD, Department of Defense, to Department
• 28:27
  Speaker 17: of War, but is instead making it a secondary name.
• 28:33
  Speaker 1: Secondary name? Are you telling me the American military just
• 28:37
  Speaker 1: gave itself an official nickname? If anything, that makes it
• 28:41
  Speaker 1: seem weaker. There's nothing more pathetic than that friend that
• 28:45
  Speaker 1: tries to create his own nickname. From now on, call
• 28:48
  Speaker 1: me Stevie Muscles. Okay, that's cute, Stevie Muscles, but your
• 28:51
  Speaker 1: mom's here to pick you up? But what's the harm? Right?
• 28:56
  Speaker 1: It's not going to cost us anything. Right?
• 28:59
  Speaker 6: Right?
• 29:01
  Speaker 1: Right? Right?
• 29:05
  Speaker 3: According to Politico, it will likely cost billions of dollars
• 29:08
  Speaker 3: to change the name on stationery, emblems, plaques, and other
• 29:12
  Speaker 3: signage at the Defense Department and bases around the world.
• 29:16
  Speaker 1: Billions? It's going to cost billions to adopt this not
• 29:20
  Speaker 1: even name but nickname? My God, what a waste. You know,
• 29:24
  Speaker 1: and that's real money that we could have spent on
• 29:26
  Speaker 1: two fighter jets for Qatar that would get bombed by
• 29:29
  Speaker 1: two other fighter jets from Israel that we also paid for.
• 29:32
  Speaker 1: But okay, this is the same administration that dozed the
• 29:35
  Speaker 1: f * * * out of cancer research and food safety,
• 29:38
  Speaker 1: but they can find billions to change the stationary at
• 29:41
  Speaker 1: the Pentagon. Oh, sorry, not the Pentagon. The anus of destruction.
• 29:46
  Speaker 12: But you know what?
• 29:54
  Speaker 1: Thank God for that effect. But you know what? That's cool.
• 29:58
  Speaker 1: We got the Department of War now, and they'll be
• 30:00
  Speaker 1: terrifying America's enemies wherever they go. Where exactly are they going?
• 30:05
  Speaker 18: Planning is underway to potentially duplicate Trump's mobilization in D.C.
• 30:10
  Speaker 1: And send troops into Chicago.
• 30:12
  Speaker 4: I think Chicago will be our next and then we'll
• 30:15
  Speaker 4: help with New York.
• 30:17
  Speaker 12: Trump sharing a manipulated image of himself with a twist
• 30:21
  Speaker 12: on a quote from the movie Apocalypse Now. The caption says,
• 30:25
  Speaker 12: I love the smell of deportations in the morning and
• 30:28
  Speaker 12: the line Chicago about to find out why it's called
• 30:31
  Speaker 12: the Department of War.
• 30:33
  Speaker 1: So great. The first use of our new Department of
• 30:35
  Speaker 1: War is invading American cities. And by the way, if
• 30:38
  Speaker 1: Trump does send troops to New York, that means he's
• 30:41
  Speaker 1: going to invade the very city he came out of.
• 30:45
  Speaker 1: Freudian much? Just admit that you want to f *
• 30:49
  Speaker 1: * * your mom, dude. But before he invades all
• 30:53
  Speaker 1: Democratic cities, Trump first used Washington, D.C. as a test case.
• 30:57
  Speaker 1: It's been a month since Trump sent the National Guard
• 30:59
  Speaker 1: into the nation's capital. And last night, Trump tried to
• 31:02
  Speaker 1: show everyone that it's been a huge success. Fox News alert.
• 31:06
  Speaker 15: Donald Trump is out on the town, dinner with members
• 31:09
  Speaker 15: of his cabinet in D.C., showing it's safe to walk
• 31:12
  Speaker 15: around the city after deploying the National Guard.
• 31:14
  Speaker 1: The restaurants now are booming. People are going out to
• 31:17
  Speaker 1: dinner where they didn't go out for years.
• 31:20
  Speaker 4: And it's a safe city, and I just want to
• 31:21
  Speaker 4: thank the National Guard.
• 31:24
  Speaker 1: Hey, nothing says I feel safe like driving one block
• 31:28
  Speaker 1: from the White House surrounded by a fleet of armored
• 31:30
  Speaker 1: cars and countless Secret Service agents. And just look at
• 31:40
  Speaker 1: this pussy posse behind him, huh? That looks like the
• 31:45
  Speaker 1: bachelor party from hell. You got the jokester, right? The
• 31:50
  Speaker 1: bad boy. The guy who has work in the morning
• 31:53
  Speaker 1: and doesn't want to be in this friend group anymore
• 31:56
  Speaker 1: and ends up crying through a lap dance. Whatever you
• 32:01
  Speaker 1: think about the occupation of D.C., at least Trump now
• 32:03
  Speaker 1: feels safe enough to go out and he can enjoy
• 32:05
  Speaker 1: a nice meal in peace.
• 32:07
  Speaker 18: Overnight, while dining out in Washington, D.C., President Trump facing protests.
• 32:15
  Speaker 20: Yeah, give it up for the protesters.
• 32:30
  Speaker 1: You know what I mean? Here we go. Also... They
• 32:36
  Speaker 1: just discovered the most genius way of getting out of
• 32:39
  Speaker 1: your restaurant bill, right? $ 40 for a shrimp cocktail? Trump's Hitler! Trump's... Oh, no,
• 32:46
  Speaker 1: don't kick me out. We didn't settle our tab. Okay,
• 32:49
  Speaker 1: see you.
• 32:49
  Speaker 2: Bye.
• 32:49
  Speaker 1: I'm going to do that next time I go to
• 32:52
  Speaker 1: Panera Bread. I sympathize with these people. I protest in
• 32:56
  Speaker 1: steakhouses all the time. Specifically, Ruth's Chris Steakhouse. What the
• 33:02
  Speaker 1: f * * * does that mean? Who is Chris?
• 33:07
  Speaker 1: Why is he Ruth's? By now, you guys all know
• 33:12
  Speaker 1: about yesterday's assassination of Charlie Kirk. And this probably goes
• 33:15
  Speaker 1: without saying, but I feel like I have to say it.
• 33:18
  Speaker 1: I believe killing people is wrong. And I know that's
• 33:21
  Speaker 1: a hot take. But as of now, we don't know
• 33:23
  Speaker 1: who did it. But Kash Patel's FBI is on the case.
• 33:27
  Speaker 1: So we will never know who did it. This is
• 33:32
  Speaker 1: as good a time as any to say political violence
• 33:35
  Speaker 1: is never acceptable and should be condemned. And thankfully, many
• 33:39
  Speaker 1: political leaders think the same.
• 33:42
  Speaker 9: All four former presidents are reacting to the death of
• 33:45
  Speaker 9: Charlie Kirk. Joe Biden posting on X, quote, there is
• 33:49
  Speaker 9: no place in our country for this kind of violence.
• 33:52
  Speaker 9: Barack Obama shared a similar sentiment, writing, this kind of
• 33:55
  Speaker 9: despicable violence has no place in our democracy. And a
• 34:00
  Speaker 9: statement as well from George W. Bush, who said this,
• 34:03
  Speaker 9: members of other political parties are not our enemies. They
• 34:06
  Speaker 9: are our fellow citizens. And a message from Bill Clinton,
• 34:10
  Speaker 9: who says he hopes we all go through some serious
• 34:13
  Speaker 9: introspection and redouble our efforts to engage in debate passionately,
• 34:18
  Speaker 9: yet peacefully. Yeah.
• 34:20
  Speaker 1: And let's not get sidetracked by who may or may
• 34:23
  Speaker 1: not have been friends with Jeffrey Epstein. Just focus on
• 34:28
  Speaker 1: the introspection thing. But yes, it was comforting to see
• 34:31
  Speaker 1: our living past presidents and Joe Biden attempting to lower
• 34:36
  Speaker 1: the country's temperature yesterday. But none of those guys are
• 34:40
  Speaker 1: running this place right now. So I want to hear
• 34:41
  Speaker 1: from the current big guy.
• 34:43
  Speaker 2: For years, those on the radical left have compared wonderful
• 34:48
  Speaker 2: Americans like Charlie to Nazis and the world's worst terrorists.
• 34:52
  Speaker 1: Mass murderers and criminals. This kind of rhetoric is directly
• 34:57
  Speaker 1: responsible for the terrorism that we're seeing in our country today.
• 35:03
  Speaker 1: My fellow Americans, we must come together to destroy each other. So, yeah,
• 35:08
  Speaker 1: Donald Trump came out with a partisan message blaming the left.
• 35:12
  Speaker 1: And let's be real. Did we expect anything different? This
• 35:15
  Speaker 1: is what this guy does. The last time Trump delivered
• 35:19
  Speaker 1: a thoughtful message was apparently when he sent a birthday
• 35:21
  Speaker 1: card to Jeffrey Epstein.
• 35:24
  Speaker 9: Yeah.
• 35:25
  Speaker 1: Yeah, that's... I realize that's two Epstein jokes in a row.
• 35:33
  Speaker 1: It's not my fault everyone was friends with this guy, okay?
• 35:37
  Speaker 1: And by the way, I'm not singling Trump out. This
• 35:40
  Speaker 1: is how our society behaves now. A tragedy occurs. Instead
• 35:44
  Speaker 1: of digesting and trying to understand, everyone sets their feet
• 35:48
  Speaker 1: and starts throwing punches immediately. Like Nancy Mace, Republican congresswoman
• 35:53
  Speaker 1: and somehow the scariest type of Mace ever. She came
• 35:57
  Speaker 1: out swinging, but apparently wasn't expecting a counter. I'm going
• 36:01
  Speaker 1: to say this. Democrats own what happened today.
• 36:06
  Speaker 2: By that logic, do Republicans own the shooting of the
• 36:08
  Speaker 2: two Democratic lawmakers in Minnesota?
• 36:11
  Speaker 1: Isn't this on both sides? Are you kidding me? Democrats
• 36:13
  Speaker 1: own this. Is there a problem with political violence across
• 36:17
  Speaker 1: the spectrum? Yeah, we're talking about Charlie Kirk right now. Yeah, okay.
• 36:22
  Speaker 1: We're talking about my thing right now, not about things
• 36:25
  Speaker 1: that make me look stupid, because if we did that,
• 36:27
  Speaker 1: we'd be talking all day long, okay? All right. Now,
• 36:31
  Speaker 1: we're all.
• 36:35
  Speaker 1: And now we're in very familiar territory. Republican accuses Democrat,
• 36:39
  Speaker 1: so Democrat accuses Republican.
• 36:42
  Speaker 17: What do you say to people who are saying that
• 36:44
  Speaker 17: Democrats need to lower the temperatures?
• 36:46
  Speaker 1: Oh, please.
• 36:46
  Speaker 9: Oh, please. Right.
• 36:49
  Speaker 1: Why don't you start with the president of the United States?
• 36:52
  Speaker 21: Right.
• 36:52
  Speaker 1: So here we go again. It's it's Democrats rhetoric. No,
• 36:56
  Speaker 1: it's Republicans rhetoric. Has anyone considered that the problem of
• 37:00
  Speaker 1: political violence in America might not just be the rhetoric,
• 37:03
  Speaker 1: but instead something extraordinarily complex? The problem might be a
• 37:08
  Speaker 1: toxic mix of our gun laws, lack of mental health, collapse,
• 37:12
  Speaker 1: social connection, probably a bunch of other things I haven't
• 37:14
  Speaker 1: even thought of yet. I'm sure the boo boos are
• 37:16
  Speaker 1: somewhere in there to blame. I guess I just don't
• 37:21
  Speaker 1: think rhetoric is the root cause of this thing. Political
• 37:25
  Speaker 1: violence isn't going to go away if the people on
• 37:27
  Speaker 1: the other side say exactly the right words from now on. Now,
• 37:32
  Speaker 1: that said, if you turned on the 24-7 news coverage yesterday,
• 37:36
  Speaker 1: you probably saw some unhelpful rhetoric.
• 37:39
  Speaker 21: He's been one of the most divisive, especially divisive younger
• 37:42
  Speaker 21: figures in this, who is constantly sort of pushing this
• 37:46
  Speaker 21: sort of hate speech or sort of aimed at certain
• 37:49
  Speaker 21: groups constantly. And I always go back to hateful thoughts
• 37:54
  Speaker 21: lead to hateful words, which then lead to hateful actions.
• 37:59
  Speaker 21: And I think that's the environment we're in, that people just,
• 38:02
  Speaker 21: you can't stop with these sort of awful thoughts you
• 38:05
  Speaker 21: have and then saying these awful words and not expect
• 38:08
  Speaker 21: awful actions to take place.
• 38:10
  Speaker 1: I don't know, man. The whole idea of free speech
• 38:14
  Speaker 1: in America is you can say what you want and
• 38:17
  Speaker 1: not expect to be shot. Can you be challenged? Can
• 38:24
  Speaker 1: you be challenged? Sure. Can you get roasted online? Sometimes.
• 38:28
  Speaker 1: Told to leave a child's birthday party? Yeah. Even though
• 38:31
  Speaker 1: I think I was right that the cake f *
• 38:32
  Speaker 1: * * ing sucked, Derek. That was hardly only the
• 38:38
  Speaker 1: bad take. Even some people who understood that a cycle
• 38:41
  Speaker 1: of violence was not the answer, they still wanted to
• 38:43
  Speaker 1: make sure you knew who'd be coming out on top.
• 38:46
  Speaker 11: The last thing I ever won is violence. Look, I
• 38:48
  Speaker 11: spent nine years in and out of war. The last
• 38:49
  Speaker 11: thing I won is that. But if these people keep pushing,
• 38:52
  Speaker 11: they're going to radicalize a huge portion of America that
• 38:55
  Speaker 11: they don't want. I want us to be able to
• 38:57
  Speaker 11: debate like Charlie Kirk always did on every campus, gave
• 39:01
  Speaker 11: the airtime to opposing views.
• 39:03
  Speaker 1: I want that as my America, not... trading gunfire because
• 39:06
  Speaker 1: i'll win you could have just stopped with the last
• 39:12
  Speaker 1: thing i want is violence you don't have to add
• 39:15
  Speaker 1: in because i'll win but i guess it's like jesus
• 39:18
  Speaker 1: always said turn the other cheek but be ready to
• 39:20
  Speaker 1: cut a mother but by the way who's they no
• 39:29
  Speaker 1: one knows who the shooter is or what his motivation was.
• 39:32
  Speaker 1: And even if it was political, he doesn't represent half
• 39:35
  Speaker 1: the country. But some of these MAGA guys are acting
• 39:38
  Speaker 1: like this is a liberal declaration of war. If they
• 39:41
  Speaker 1: could do this, they are capable of anything. I think
• 39:44
  Speaker 1: that was the message. I believe that was the message.
• 39:47
  Speaker 1: It's really hard to radicalize Republicans.
• 39:51
  Speaker 10: Yeah.
• 39:52
  Speaker 2: You know, it's like we're not the radical type.
• 40:00
  Speaker 1: I'm sorry. First off, it's not that hard to radicalize Republicans.
• 40:03
  Speaker 1: You guys almost burned down the country because Cracker Barrel
• 40:05
  Speaker 1: changed its font. Second, far be it for me to
• 40:10
  Speaker 1: tell anyone how to do their job, but you can
• 40:12
  Speaker 1: lose the poop emoji mug for one day. When Walter
• 40:19
  Speaker 1: Cronkite broke the news about the Kennedy assassination, he didn't
• 40:22
  Speaker 1: come out in a wacky novelty bow tie. I did
• 40:29
  Speaker 1: not expect a groan from the audience on the novelty
• 40:31
  Speaker 1: bow tie. And also, once again, who is they? Does
• 40:36
  Speaker 1: anyone want to specify who they is? Or are we
• 40:39
  Speaker 1: just going to keep talking about all that they do?
• 40:42
  Speaker 14: They are at war with us. Whether we want to
• 40:45
  Speaker 14: accept it or not, they are at war with us.
• 40:48
  Speaker 14: Trump gets hit in the ear. Charlie gets shot dead.
• 40:53
  Speaker 14: They came after Kavanaugh with a rifle to his neighborhood.
• 40:57
  Speaker 1: They went after Musk's cars. Sort of petered out there
• 41:03
  Speaker 1: at the end, huh, Jesse? If you're trying to rile
• 41:06
  Speaker 1: people up for war, maybe leave out the car vandalism.
• 41:09
  Speaker 6: I mean.
• 41:13
  Speaker 1: Look, I'm sure people in the media would love to
• 41:15
  Speaker 1: talk about how they are responsible for what they've done
• 41:19
  Speaker 1: and how they had better watch out or else they'll
• 41:23
  Speaker 1: get what's coming to them. But I think it would
• 41:26
  Speaker 1: be better if we, as a country, understood that we
• 41:31
  Speaker 1: have a problem with political violence. And we need to
• 41:34
  Speaker 1: start thinking less in terms of what they should do
• 41:37
  Speaker 1: and more in terms of what we have to do.
• 41:40
  Speaker 8: And.
• 41:45
  Speaker 1: It's not lost on me today that the last time
• 41:48
  Speaker 1: it felt like we thought in terms of we was
• 41:51
  Speaker 1: on 9-11, when we all came together as a nation.
• 41:55
  Speaker 1: And we did. Even if it was just for one day.
• 42:05
  Speaker 1: You know, sure, we turned pretty quickly to scapegoating Muslims
• 42:08
  Speaker 1: and blogging about how Bush did it. But on that
• 42:11
  Speaker 1: one day, we were united as a country. For 24 hours,
• 42:15
  Speaker 1: we even admired Rudy Giuliani. That's how incredible our unity was.
• 42:23
  Speaker 1: And I don't know what you do to get back
• 42:25
  Speaker 1: to that. Obviously, not another 9-11. I want to be
• 42:28
  Speaker 1: very clear about that. But what about I don't know,
• 42:33
  Speaker 1: an alien invasion, you know? Maybe if UFOs suddenly appeared
• 42:37
  Speaker 1: over every important U.S. city and also Los Angeles, that's
• 42:41
  Speaker 1: the thing that would jolt us off our phones and
• 42:44
  Speaker 1: bring us back together. Or the aliens take over and
• 42:48
  Speaker 1: enslave us all. But at this point, that might be
• 42:50
  Speaker 1: worth a try. All right?