Latest / The Wholehearted Enneagram Podcast / Wholehearted Summer: Creating Your Summer Sanctuary: Sanity-Saving Rhythms with Janay Lanier and Sarah Cronin

Transcript

Wholehearted Summer: Creating Your Summer Sanctuary: Sanity-Saving Rhythms with Janay Lanier and Sarah Cronin · The Wholehearted Enneagram Podcast

0:00
SPEAKER_00: Friend, when you have a minute to yourself, how do you usually spend it?
0:05
SPEAKER_00: Is it most natural for you to automatically pick up your phone and hit that button and find yourself lost in the scroll?
0:18
SPEAKER_00: Do you find yourself with your head in the pantry or the fridge making out of a few things?
0:33
SPEAKER_00: Or do you stay up late to get in a couple hours of that new binge-worthy comedy?
0:47
SPEAKER_00: If you nodded yes, you aren't alone.
0:50
SPEAKER_00: I asked because these are the exact things I am prone to do when I feel depleted and empty.
0:57
SPEAKER_00: I've also learned that these are signs that I am on the edge of burnout.
1:02
SPEAKER_00: I hate that feeling.
1:04
SPEAKER_00: Yes, friend.
1:06
SPEAKER_00: Ongoing depletion and emptiness eventually led me to evaluate that typical self-care routine.
1:13
SPEAKER_00: Because the scroll, the food, and binge watching are not the answer.
1:19
SPEAKER_00: And if they don't work, how do you get refreshed, replenished, and refueled?
1:34
SPEAKER_00: Well, here's the truth, friend.
1:36
SPEAKER_00: What satisfies you and what you give your free minutes to is often at drastic odds.
1:42
SPEAKER_00: So I'm inviting you to revisit this topic with me that I love to chat about every summer.
1:49
SPEAKER_00: This time, Janae and Sarah are going to share their insight and wisdom.
1:55
SPEAKER_00: And as they talk and as they share their ideas, I want you to listen for ways to exchange typical self-care for life-giving soul care.
2:05
SPEAKER_00: I want you to find ways to take a break so you can avoid the burnout and still find the momentum you need for your goals.
2:24
SPEAKER_01: Hey guys, we're back.
2:26
SPEAKER_01: Sarah and Janae here, and we are excited to today talk about some of the specific uh components of summer that make summer extra challenging, and then discuss ways that we can pursue replenishment and rest in rhythm in the midst of those challenges.
2:45
SPEAKER_01: And so we know that the season of summer is different than any other through the rest of the year.
2:51
SPEAKER_01: You know, during the school year, we are in rhythms and uh routines that include school and whether it's a two-month break or a three-month break, whatever summer looks like for you, everything is different.
3:06
SPEAKER_01: Um, first of all, those kids are home all day, all the time, uh, in comparison to that school schedule.
3:13
SPEAKER_01: And that adjusts your normal rhythm.
3:15
SPEAKER_01: Um, as a mama, that adjusts when you're spending quiet time with the Lord, or maybe how long you're doing that.
3:21
SPEAKER_01: It affects when you can get work accomplished and in what spaces of the day does that fit.
3:27
SPEAKER_01: It affects when you exercise, get a good workout in.
3:31
SPEAKER_01: It even affects how and when you're cleaning the house.
3:34
SPEAKER_01: It just kids being there affects everything.
3:36
SPEAKER_01: Not that these things are impossible to do, um, but we want to recognize just that shift of rhythm from the school year to these summer months.
3:45
SPEAKER_01: And that can be a challenge to figure out.
3:48
SPEAKER_01: It seems as though the schedule in summer, um, for our schedule at least, every week looks different.
3:55
SPEAKER_01: Every week includes a different camp or a different activity, um, maybe some vacations in there.
4:01
SPEAKER_01: And so these um changes to our schedule interrupts all of our normal cadence.
4:07
SPEAKER_01: You know, I know for me, uh during the school year, we know that every Monday is gymnastics and every Wednesday is Bible Club before school.
4:16
SPEAKER_01: And, you know, you're in a good rhythm of what each day the week holds.
4:19
SPEAKER_01: Versus in summer, it can be, it's very much week to week.
4:24
SPEAKER_01: And so um, you have to be on top of planning.
4:26
SPEAKER_01: It feels like all the time.
4:28
SPEAKER_01: I can't just ignore my calendar.
4:29
SPEAKER_01: My planner is right next to me, it goes with me everywhere uh because I feel like I have to be on top of it.
4:36
SPEAKER_01: So those are a couple of the different um unique challenges to summertime.
4:40
SPEAKER_01: But Janae, I know you have a couple others.
4:42
SPEAKER_01: What would you like to add in?
4:45
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, so I think that it's important to note weather, especially those that have extremely like humid type weather.
4:55
SPEAKER_02: Like I'm here in eastern North Carolina and by 8 a.m., it already feels 100 degrees.
5:02
SPEAKER_02: And in July, it will be.
5:04
SPEAKER_02: Um, and so yeah, yeah.
5:07
SPEAKER_02: And so I think that really affects a lot of things.
5:10
SPEAKER_02: It affects, honestly, breathing and it affects energy levels.
5:14
SPEAKER_02: I can't emphasize that enough.
5:15
SPEAKER_02: Um, how much the the hot weather really does drain you so quickly, especially if your weather is in the upper 90s on like a constant basis for the summer.
5:26
SPEAKER_02: And so, of course, sun exposure and general discomfort in the heat, and and that can just exasperate all of our kids, right?
5:36
SPEAKER_02: And so I believe that um that is something that is I would call a big pain point in the summer.
5:43
SPEAKER_02: And so, and then can we just give a moment of silence for this next thing that I'm about to mention?
5:48
SPEAKER_02: And that is clothing.
5:51
SPEAKER_02: Clothing in the summer is just um, and if you're listening to this and you don't relate to this, then bless you and email us or something.
6:01
SPEAKER_02: We would love to know some of your specific tips.
6:02
SPEAKER_02: Cause I just feel like every mom I've ever spoken to, it's just not something we particularly look forward to is buying the summer bathing suit and um, you know, the shorts and the tank tops.
6:14
SPEAKER_02: And and this isn't just for one body type either.
6:16
SPEAKER_02: It does, you know, whether, you know, no matter what weight you're at, or we I feel like just as women, we all really struggle with being comfortable in the summer bathing suit.
6:27
SPEAKER_02: Um and so we say this to say, you know, we know this is a pain point, and also you're totally not alone in feeling this, and and uh, and just that mental comparison and the irritability that it brings is just really, really real.
6:41
SPEAKER_02: And so we really wanted to bring attention to that and and hopefully make you know the ones that are listening to this feel like, hey, I'm not alone in that.
6:49
SPEAKER_01: We all struggle with that.
6:51
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, it makes me think of the hype or the the trend around the summer body, right?
6:57
SPEAKER_01: Even that phrase of needing to achieve this summer body and your summer body is made in the winter and all of this.
7:05
SPEAKER_01: And you know, this podcast is not on only the topic of body image.
7:10
SPEAKER_01: Clearly, we could do a whole episode just on that.
7:13
SPEAKER_01: Um, but we want to take out some of that, some of that frustration or expectation, I should say, around summer body and cut that out.
7:24
SPEAKER_02: Yes, I it it makes me cringe a little bit, just that that word.
7:28
SPEAKER_02: And you know, recently I was walking into my gym and they put a big sign on the gym wall as you're walking in saying, like, do you have that summer body yet?
7:38
SPEAKER_02: question mark.
7:39
SPEAKER_02: And like basically trying to get people into the gym, but I cringe so hard.
7:43
SPEAKER_02: And I almost, I almost wanted to like, if I had more aid in me, I might have like said something to the owner.
7:49
SPEAKER_02: I was like, No, I'm not, I'm not going to.
7:51
SPEAKER_02: But I was just like, come on, like, hmm.
7:54
SPEAKER_02: How about do you want to do you want to be able to move healthy for your children?
7:57
SPEAKER_02: Like, can that be the reason to go to the gym?
7:59
SPEAKER_02: Not to achieve this like perfect summer body.
8:02
SPEAKER_02: Um, so yeah, that is exasperating.
8:07
SPEAKER_02: Yes, yes, yeah.
8:09
SPEAKER_01: Oh, yes.
8:10
SPEAKER_01: Well, it's no doubt that yes, buying clothes that fit.
8:14
SPEAKER_01: I was just talking to my neighbor about, you know, buying getting your summer clothes out.
8:18
SPEAKER_01: And especially as mamas, year to year, our bodies can be very different from what they were last year.
8:25
SPEAKER_01: And so getting clothes back out and having that feeling of disappointment when something doesn't fit or disappointment and how a certain part of your body, your arms look in tank tops or whatever it is.
8:36
SPEAKER_01: And so that that clothing component can be a constant pain point and struggle in summer.
8:42
SPEAKER_01: So we've listed out a couple of the ways that summer can be uniquely challenging, but of course, we don't want to leave it there.
8:47
SPEAKER_01: Um, we want to talk about what are some intentional strategies to combat some of those challenges and to take intentional steps to cross over those hurdles.
9:01
SPEAKER_01: And so I talked about our schedules being so different than they normally are throughout the year.
9:07
SPEAKER_01: And so in the summer, it's really important to be more intentional about communication.
9:12
SPEAKER_01: This seems like such a basic tip: like you need to talk more, you need to communicate more.
9:17
SPEAKER_01: Um, but as I said, that planner is open in front of me often, and I'm revisiting it often.
9:23
SPEAKER_01: And it's interesting because this specific piece about being more intentional around communication can look different for each type of the Enneagram.
9:32
SPEAKER_01: We're not going to go through all the types on that, um, but it can be based on your type.
9:36
SPEAKER_01: Like for some of us, looking at the next week, like what is happening this coming week?
9:42
SPEAKER_01: Let's sit down on Sunday at our family dinner and talk about this coming week.
9:46
SPEAKER_01: And that for me personally feels good.
9:49
SPEAKER_01: We can all be aligned on the next five or six days.
9:52
SPEAKER_01: Um, but for some people, the whole week might be in itself too intimidating and too overwhelming.
9:58
SPEAKER_01: Um, some types might need just one day at a time.
10:01
SPEAKER_01: You know, what is today?
10:03
SPEAKER_01: What do we need to get done today?
10:05
SPEAKER_01: And then as you talk through the days, talk about what are the goals of the week or of the day that again might look different.
10:14
SPEAKER_01: But from a whole summer standpoint, what are your goals?
10:18
SPEAKER_01: Do you need to, are you in a position where you need to get work done every single day?
10:23
SPEAKER_01: And if so, what are the pockets of quiet time for the kids or rest time for the kids that you can accomplish that?
10:30
SPEAKER_01: Um, or maybe you want to be sure there's reading that happens every single day for you and the kids together and you have a collective reading time.
10:38
SPEAKER_01: Maybe everyone has their own blanket they sit on and read a book for 30 minutes or something.
10:43
SPEAKER_01: Um, but it's encouraging the thoughtfulness behind what actually needs to happen for our summer to be a successful one and an enjoyable one.
10:54
SPEAKER_01: Um, for some types, setting these goals and thinking through this might sound exhausting and like, no, thanks.
11:01
SPEAKER_01: But for some people, it might be energizing.
11:03
SPEAKER_01: And so we just want to be sure to organize our schedule based on what's going to be refreshing for us.
11:11
SPEAKER_01: And so, do you need to add in a babysitter a couple, you know, a morning a week or two mornings a week to be able to get that work done or just to be able to have some mental rest?
11:21
SPEAKER_01: Um, what are the things that you, specifically in your Enneagram type as well, that you need to be refreshing?
11:30
SPEAKER_01: We know for some stances, you know, the four, five, nine stance that is more withdrawn, they're gonna need more of that time away to recharge and replenish.
11:41
SPEAKER_01: Um, versus, you know, the assertive types, three, seven, eight, they're gonna need space to just stop the doing, to just be.
11:49
SPEAKER_01: Um, and so, you know, as you grow in knowledge of your personality, this is a great time to apply it.
11:57
SPEAKER_01: What pieces of your personality are coming out in in the summertime?
12:04
SPEAKER_02: Hey, mama, get the babysitter.
12:07
SPEAKER_02: This is just, you know, Sarah mentioned it a minute ago.
12:10
SPEAKER_02: And I just like my heart was just like happy just hearing her say that.
12:14
SPEAKER_02: Like, get the babysitter just for you to do.
12:17
SPEAKER_02: You know, maybe you and your spouse or even just you, just I I say put that in your in your planner at least for once this summer, one time, just for you to get out and do something for you.
12:29
SPEAKER_02: Because sometimes the the summer can feel very much, you know, what what all can I do for the kids?
12:35
SPEAKER_02: And so I think sometimes we do really good at at making sure soul care happens during the year.
12:40
SPEAKER_02: When our kids are at school, sometimes it can be a little bit maybe easier to plug that in.
12:44
SPEAKER_02: And and sometimes summer can feel a little bit more like all over the place, right?
12:49
SPEAKER_02: And so love, love, Sarah, that you had just mentioned, just get the put the babysitter in there.
12:56
SPEAKER_02: You know, yesterday I saw a reel on Instagram and it was a mom saying um her summer plan was to get rid of the planner and not have any plans.
13:06
SPEAKER_02: And and I but I was like, oh man, because I feel like my summer would be so chaotic with not like yeah, not even that, I mean you have to have to have it jam-packed with activities.
13:16
SPEAKER_02: Like, yes, I know I'm a seven.
13:17
SPEAKER_02: That wasn't, I'm not meaning that you need to have it filled with activities, but oh my goodness, I just feel like without a planner, your summer could be so chaotic, even if it's just to write in to, you know, like you were saying, Sarah, whether you want them to make sure that each child is reading a certain amount per day, or you know, uh, I have certain goals that I've written down for my daughter this summer.
13:40
SPEAKER_02: I really want her to to be able to like have do her morning routine and her nighttime routine by herself.
13:46
SPEAKER_02: And so we're plugging in times to help her with that.
13:48
SPEAKER_02: And you know, all but if you don't have any of this written down, it can just your summer will pass by and and you yeah, you just more power to you.
13:58
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
13:59
SPEAKER_02: But I thought that was an interesting role.
14:01
SPEAKER_02: I was like, okay, well, um so so some tips uh to managing the hotter weather, you know.
14:08
SPEAKER_02: I mentioned earlier that hotter weather, what that can do to us.
14:12
SPEAKER_02: And so I think that a big one, as you know, I mentioned earlier I'm from eastern North Carolina, and I know a lot of the other states have, you know what I mean whenever I say you wake up in the morning, you're in the summertime, your child might be waking you up in the morning.
14:24
SPEAKER_02: Who do who needs an alarm these days?
14:26
SPEAKER_02: Um, but you walk outside on your porch and it's already like smoldering out there.
14:32
SPEAKER_02: Um so I have found that it's so helpful to go ahead and plan um the outside activities early in the morning.
14:40
SPEAKER_02: Like we will go to the, we have like a somewhat local water park.
14:43
SPEAKER_02: It's like it's like 45 minutes away, but we love it in the summer.
14:46
SPEAKER_02: Um, and just to go ahead and do that, like right when they open the doors, like we're first in line to get in.
14:52
SPEAKER_02: And um because it is like at least 10 degrees cooler in the in those morning hours.
14:59
SPEAKER_02: And so, you know, I really wanted to suggest uh trying to um make make those outside plans earlier in the day and then nap time or you know, just inside, inside fun, whether that's coloring or even a little bit of at iPad time in the hottest part of the day, like that's those two o'clock hours, right?
15:16
SPEAKER_02: Two, three, one, two, three.
15:18
SPEAKER_02: Um, when it's just almost like unsafe where where I am to be outside for more than like 30 minutes.
15:24
SPEAKER_02: Um and so I I wanted to, you know, make sure that I talked about that.
15:29
SPEAKER_02: And then also, you know, my my parents, they love Sam's Club.
15:33
SPEAKER_02: I don't know if everybody has a Sam's Club or they are, but they recently bought my daughter this like um the long piece bathing.
15:40
SPEAKER_02: It's like a one piece, but it has like sleeves to it.
15:43
SPEAKER_02: And I had never really been into those.
15:44
SPEAKER_02: And at first I was like, what is this?
15:46
SPEAKER_02: But you know what we've been using are already this summer, and um I never have to apply uh sunblock to her arms, which honestly for her burns the fat the fastest, but also it has like a coolant in it and it keeps her cooler.
16:00
SPEAKER_02: And so I didn't even know that existed.
16:01
SPEAKER_02: So I thought that was worth worth mentioning.
16:04
SPEAKER_02: Um, to get, you know, look for those bathing suits because I know that the little bikinis or the uh the little cute one pieces that they have are so cute, old navy, you know what I'm talking about, or a gap.
16:14
SPEAKER_02: But man, like it's just their skin is just so exposed to the sun so much.
16:18
SPEAKER_02: And so make sure you have the the hats too for them.
16:21
SPEAKER_02: And um I also love like the bottle, the spray bottle with the fan.
16:26
SPEAKER_02: I know that sounds a little bit cheesy, but those things can be like life-saving when you are at those water parks and your kids are getting irritable.
16:34
SPEAKER_02: Um, I don't know.
16:35
SPEAKER_02: It's just if you're outside in the backyard, I find them to be actually really helpful.
16:40
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
16:41
SPEAKER_02: And um, all right, we're gonna move on to the clothing.
16:45
SPEAKER_02: We do have encouragement.
16:47
SPEAKER_02: I have some encouraging words regarding the clothing thing.
16:50
SPEAKER_02: And um, you know, I was thinking, Sarah and I, you know, as we were planning this episode, we got to talking and I was saying, you know, I find it so interesting that I can be like, I'm a people watcher.
17:02
SPEAKER_02: I really find it fun to like look at people.
17:04
SPEAKER_02: I don't know if that's odd to some people.
17:06
SPEAKER_02: I know that there are gonna be some people listening that's like, yeah, I do that too.
17:11
SPEAKER_02: Um, but you know, next time you do that, catch yourself because I guarantee you you're thinking the same thing that I'm thinking, and that is how beautiful and unique each woman, woman is.
17:22
SPEAKER_02: Like I was recently in a coffee shop and I and I was aware at what I was looking at.
17:27
SPEAKER_02: Like I was I, you know, and I I remember there were so many different types of women in there, um, ages, race, uh, you know, weight, the diff different weights.
17:37
SPEAKER_02: And I just remember thinking to myself, how unique and beautiful each one of them were.
17:42
SPEAKER_02: I wondered what their stories were.
17:44
SPEAKER_02: And you know, but yet then I could get up and go to the bathroom in that same same coffee shop and they have the stupid full-length mirror.
17:52
SPEAKER_02: And I remember bashing myself in the mirror on that same, that same coffee trip.
17:58
SPEAKER_02: And so, anyways, as we were planning this episode, and I got to thinking, you know, ladies, those that are listening to this, imagine yourself how you see those people whenever you're out and about, because you are just as beautiful and unique.
18:13
SPEAKER_02: And so we are just inclined to be harsher on ourselves, but you know, it really does help when you when you see, okay, there are 10 people in this store that I'm at, and I think that they are all gorgeous.
18:25
SPEAKER_02: So, you know, I'm clearly being harder on myself.
18:28
SPEAKER_02: It's just, it's just a really great perspective to have.
18:31
SPEAKER_02: And then I also uh think it's I know this is a little bit out there, but I have a Pinterest board of like if you Pinterest like moms in in um summertime, like different like pictures will come up of of different, all different types of women.
18:46
SPEAKER_02: And it's just another way to say, like, women, we are we are beautiful.
18:50
SPEAKER_02: And it encourages me to look at, you know, um, to actually have like a whole Pinterest board of like summer mom stuff.
18:56
SPEAKER_02: And so I think that that's also just been really helpful just for practicing kindness over yourself.
19:02
SPEAKER_02: You know, I think it's also practical to to spend some extra money, you know how expensive like razors and and shaving cream is, obviously.
19:12
SPEAKER_02: So during the off season, I'm I'm not gonna lie, like I can be really stingy about that stuff and I just I buy like more of the cheaper stuff in the summer.
19:19
SPEAKER_02: Um, really researching some of the um the the good shaving cream, you know, for for our more fragile areas or more sensitive areas and spend the extra money on those razors and shaving cream um because it is gonna help you to feel more confident.
19:34
SPEAKER_02: And then when it comes to shopping for your swimsuits, uh just really think about practicality too.
19:40
SPEAKER_02: Like, you know, when you're at that beach and you're bit constantly bending over, it's just not gonna be fun if you feel like everything's about to, you know, fall out and or you just wanna yeah, you just wanna make sure that you are comfortable and practical.
19:54
SPEAKER_02: And I promise you will have a better time um whenever you are playing with your children.
19:59
SPEAKER_02: Um now, whenever if you're taking that solo beach trip, girl, you know, it doesn't have to be practical.
20:04
SPEAKER_02: You get you get the bathing suit that's fun, it makes you feel beautiful, but sometimes, you know, uh when you're with your children, it's more, it's more practical.
20:13
SPEAKER_01: That's so good, Janae.
20:14
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I definitely can resonate with the concept of the most beautiful thing I can I can watch, right, is in people watching, because of course I'm guilty of that too.
20:25
SPEAKER_01: I think everyone is, but what's beautiful is when you see the mom interacting with her kids, engaging with her kids, engaging with her husband, the people around her, the friends, whoever it is, that is way more beautiful than maybe the perfect body, but you know, isolated or um not engaged, disengaged on their phone all the time.
20:48
SPEAKER_01: And so clothing is a huge hurdle and obstacle in the summertime, but we just want to encourage with the fact that just like Janae said, there's beauty in everyone, and the most the beauty comes out in the love that you show to your kids and those around you.
21:05
SPEAKER_01: And so we want to transition into this concept of soul care.
21:10
SPEAKER_01: First of all, what is soul care?
21:12
SPEAKER_01: Why is it important to our overall well-being?
21:16
SPEAKER_01: And I think the first key point to tease out is that difference between soul care and self-care.
21:23
SPEAKER_01: And we've, you know, we hear both of those things.
21:26
SPEAKER_01: Our culture is very, very much, you know, on the swing of taking care of yourself, self-care, um, mental health days, that type of thing.
21:36
SPEAKER_01: And and I would say the the most important difference to tease out is that soul care is not just treating yourself, uh, escaping from what's hard, indulging in things that I think are gonna bring me life and bring me fulfillment.
21:56
SPEAKER_01: It's not seeking um.
22:00
SPEAKER_01: Rest and nourishment from things that are ultimately not going to give me that.
22:04
SPEAKER_01: True soul care is when you are actually taking intentional steps that are going to bring restoration to your soul.
22:15
SPEAKER_01: I know I have experienced the I have an hour to shop at Target by myself.
22:22
SPEAKER_01: Woohoo, sounds awesome.
22:23
SPEAKER_01: I'll get the Starbucks, I'll walk around, I'll look at all the things without kids, and that's exciting.
22:29
SPEAKER_01: But also when I come back to the house, it's the same, everything's the same.
22:34
SPEAKER_01: The chaos externally in front of me is the same.
22:38
SPEAKER_01: And the chaos internally is the same because I didn't do a darn thing to take care of the chaos inside.
22:44
SPEAKER_01: I just kind of avoided it for a minute.
22:46
SPEAKER_01: And although it felt great, it's still there.
22:49
SPEAKER_01: And so we want to talk about the concept of soul care that's going to bring actual nourishment and replenishment.
22:56
SPEAKER_01: And to do that, the first step is we have to be in tune with our own soul.
23:00
SPEAKER_01: We have to know what is it that I'm longing for?
23:04
SPEAKER_01: What is it that fills me up?
23:06
SPEAKER_01: Taking care of our soul is very connected to also mind and body, right?
23:12
SPEAKER_01: We cannot separate those three things.
23:14
SPEAKER_01: Um, you know, the greatest commandment that we've been given is to love the Lord our God with all of our heart, mind, soul, strength, all of it.
23:25
SPEAKER_01: And so to be able to take the first step towards soul care, we need to turn our attention to what's happening in all of that?
23:36
SPEAKER_01: What's happening in my mind?
23:37
SPEAKER_01: Where are the places where I begin to spiral?
23:40
SPEAKER_01: Thoughts begin to race, anxiety creeps in.
23:45
SPEAKER_01: What do I do to renew those thoughts into truth?
23:49
SPEAKER_01: Or maybe, or for our body, you know, what are the times that we are engaging our body through movement?
23:56
SPEAKER_01: Um, that's proven to connect our mind and our soul when our body is moving.
24:02
SPEAKER_01: It helps to get us unstuck.
24:04
SPEAKER_01: And then also when in paying attention to our soul, the first step is to just become aware of what makes me or what currently feels heavy?
24:15
SPEAKER_01: What makes me stressed?
24:16
SPEAKER_01: Something I'm trying to figure out that feels like I'm just going in circles.
24:21
SPEAKER_01: Is it a specific relationship?
24:24
SPEAKER_01: Um, is it a specific child or parent?
24:28
SPEAKER_01: Or is it finances, or as we talked about, body image?
24:32
SPEAKER_01: Is it a sickness or an illness?
24:35
SPEAKER_01: What are the things in your life that just feel like you are carrying a heavy weighted backpack right now and you have no idea how to get it off?
24:45
SPEAKER_01: We can never truly take care of our souls until we start here and know what is it that I need to care for?
24:52
SPEAKER_01: Um, also, even to learn on the opposite end, what are the things that bring you joy?
24:59
SPEAKER_01: And this can be small things or big things.
25:02
SPEAKER_01: And to even, I started a note on my phone of just things that bring me joy.
25:06
SPEAKER_01: And that can be sure the laughter of my child or you know, something really sacred and beautiful, or it also could be I love to drive by cornfields with my windows down with an empty car, blair and country music.
25:21
SPEAKER_01: That also it it brings some aliveness to me that um that I want to take note of.
25:28
SPEAKER_01: It's just taking note to say, you know what, I love that.
25:32
SPEAKER_01: So I'm gonna write that down.
25:34
SPEAKER_01: Um, and and then we're we're gonna be learning, okay, how how do I do these things?
25:40
SPEAKER_01: How do I engage with these things?
25:42
SPEAKER_01: Um, for now, we want to look at how do we take that soul care and what does it, what does it actually do for us to show up for our families?
25:51
SPEAKER_01: So, Janae, could you bring that connection for us of how does soul care actually help us care for our families as well?
25:58
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, absolutely.
26:00
SPEAKER_02: You know, I love that you really explained, you know, sometimes we really don't just need a target trip.
26:06
SPEAKER_02: And for so long, like I will be the first to admit that that is, I thought that that's really all that I needed was an hour just to go shopping.
26:14
SPEAKER_02: And and yet I would come back home still feeling just as irritable and really not ready to show up for my husband or my child.
26:20
SPEAKER_02: And so um Sarah has actually taught me so much about actually really thinking, what does my soul need?
26:27
SPEAKER_02: Like what feels really heavy right now, and getting curious about that because when we do, and I think that is trial and error, and it does take a little bit of time to really learn some of these things.
26:39
SPEAKER_02: Um, but you will get there.
26:41
SPEAKER_02: And then whenever you can specifically meet some of those needs, you really come back uh ready to show up and refreshed um and renewed for your family.
26:52
SPEAKER_02: And that just that's real soul care right there.
26:55
SPEAKER_02: Um, you know, and so I think that it can be really helpful to understand as as far as your Enneagram type goes, where you go to stress.
27:06
SPEAKER_02: And of course, you know, Amy has, you know, tons of um resources on her podcast that'll, you know, tell you so much about where your number goes into stress.
27:16
SPEAKER_02: And but really um becoming alert whenever um, you know, hey, I am I am headed towards my path of stress.
27:23
SPEAKER_02: It's very obvious right now.
27:25
SPEAKER_02: And that's that can be like your first like ding ding ding, and then really getting um getting deeper as Sarah was saying, okay, so what feels heavy right now?
27:33
SPEAKER_02: Don't just don't just say you need an hour for a shopping trip, but really getting curious and and um attending to what your soul needs.
27:41
SPEAKER_02: Um and so I just encourage you that this does get easier over time.
27:45
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I love that, Janae, because the difference is am I going and trying to fill myself up by shopping and coffee and kid free time and songs, or am I sitting before the Lord and allowing him to restore my soul and meet those longings?
28:05
SPEAKER_01: And then I can come back actually better.
28:08
SPEAKER_01: So a lot of it is that difference between what am I striving to do in my own strength and what am I actually turning to the Lord to do.
28:15
SPEAKER_01: And so as we move on to be able to do this for your own soul, like I said, first we have to become more aware of our own soul.
28:24
SPEAKER_01: And that is where the Enneagram is such a helpful tool.
28:27
SPEAKER_01: You know, in Psalm 139, the psalmist says, Search me and know me, Lord, see if there is any anxious way within me.
28:36
SPEAKER_01: And so the first step towards this is by open-handedly asking the Lord, Lord, would you search me and would you show me what are the parts of me that are looking to be fulfilled in other places?
28:49
SPEAKER_01: What am I longing for?
28:50
SPEAKER_01: And so this is going to take a step of reflection of what are your specific needs and desires, specifically during the summer.
29:00
SPEAKER_01: And again, this can be so different based on your lens of personality, your Enneagram type.
29:06
SPEAKER_01: And so this plays a part in the perspective on how we want to think about how you naturally interact with the Lord, and then that can help bring some clarity to what your next step of growth may be.
29:24
SPEAKER_01: So we are actually right now going to go through the three different communication stances on the Enneagram.
29:32
SPEAKER_01: From a high level, we have the four, five, nine that are withdrawn stance.
29:38
SPEAKER_01: And when it comes to time orientation, they are in the past.
29:42
SPEAKER_01: The one, two, and six are in the dutiful or compliant stance, and they are oriented to the present time.
29:50
SPEAKER_01: And then we have the future time orientation, which is the three, seven, eight, and the assertive stance.
29:56
SPEAKER_01: And so what we want to do right now, we're excited to do, is make a connection between how might this little piece, your communication stance, this little piece of your personality, how might that be impacting how you naturally interact with the Lord and thus what your next step would be.
30:16
SPEAKER_01: So Janae's gonna kick us off with the past.
30:19
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
30:20
SPEAKER_02: So um, like Sarah said, the four, five, nine is past, and they their strength is going to be being able to rejoice in God's faithfulness and what he has done.
30:34
SPEAKER_02: So that's gonna, I feel it come very naturally for the four, five, nine, being able to really recognize God's faithfulness for what he has done in your life and others' lives.
30:46
SPEAKER_02: And a great invitation for those numbers is going to be to be able to step forward into action and engagement into what God is doing now and dreaming with God about what he's going to do in the future.
31:00
SPEAKER_02: What are your dreams?
31:01
SPEAKER_02: What are you dreaming about?
31:02
SPEAKER_02: What is he putting in you?
31:04
SPEAKER_02: And so that's a great invitation for our four fives and nines is that forward action and engagement and present.
31:12
SPEAKER_01: That's so good, Janae.
31:13
SPEAKER_01: And and as we shift to the present stance, the one, two, and six, they're also the dutiful stance, compliant stance, they are really focused on or just naturally attuned to what's expected of them.
31:30
SPEAKER_01: It can be very easy to get swept up in what's expected of them, what are their responsibilities, what are their obligations.
31:39
SPEAKER_01: And so the strength of this stance is they can be really aware of God's activity in the moment.
31:47
SPEAKER_01: They can be really just clear on when they see God moving, right?
31:52
SPEAKER_01: You're out and about, and maybe a word pops in front of you that was the same word that the Lord just put on your heart yesterday, or maybe it's a song lyric.
32:01
SPEAKER_01: Uh, think about those moments that are sometimes described as God winks, right?
32:05
SPEAKER_01: Where God is seeing me, I feel seen and known.
32:08
SPEAKER_01: The one two six is going to be very just keen to seeing God's activity in the moment.
32:15
SPEAKER_01: And that is such a gift to be able to recognize God is present here.
32:19
SPEAKER_01: That's such a gift.
32:21
SPEAKER_01: But the invitation is going to be to slow down from all of those expectations, all of that getting swept up, and actually asking God, where is it that you would have me serve?
32:35
SPEAKER_01: Where is it that you would have me participate instead of getting swept up?
32:40
SPEAKER_01: Again, for 126, that all looks different as to where they're receiving those expectations.
32:47
SPEAKER_01: But the invitation across the board is the same to slow down and ask the Lord, where would you have me move?
32:53
SPEAKER_01: And to get more in touch with the future dreams and desires and passions to be able to see that bigger picture of where is God leading me.
33:04
SPEAKER_01: And that can help inform where I should serve right now as well.
33:09
SPEAKER_02: For the three sevens and eights, they are the future and assertive stance.
33:13
SPEAKER_02: And so a strength for them is really they have a great expectancy of what God is going to do in the future.
33:22
SPEAKER_02: And so they, and I can I can relate to this as a seven, as I I mean, I do get so excited about what God is going to do.
33:31
SPEAKER_02: Like, let me, if you need some prayer, like let me come up and lay hands on you.
33:35
SPEAKER_02: And I will, I just believe and I know, you know, how great God is and what he's going to do and how he's going to heal in this situation.
33:44
SPEAKER_02: And right.
33:45
SPEAKER_02: And so an invitation, you know, and I just I laugh because I just feel like three sevens and eights are very like, okay, let's go.
33:52
SPEAKER_02: What do we need to do right now?
33:53
SPEAKER_02: Like, how how do we need to pray?
33:55
SPEAKER_02: And um, we do have like this assertiveness, right?
33:58
SPEAKER_02: And an invitation for us is really stopping the activity for just long enough to rest in what God is doing right now in the present.
34:07
SPEAKER_02: And as someone as a seven who has practiced that, it is so, so great and such a great invitation for us because it doesn't come naturally for us.
34:17
SPEAKER_02: And so, but it is so important.
34:19
SPEAKER_02: And so just sitting in that with the Lord, what are you doing right now, God?
34:23
SPEAKER_02: What are you doing right now?
34:24
SPEAKER_02: What are you trying to tell me right now?
34:26
SPEAKER_02: And reflecting on his past faithfulness.
34:29
SPEAKER_02: What have you already done, God?
34:31
SPEAKER_02: Um, and so it's just, you know, the it's every piece is so important in the body, and um, it's just so important to recognize where our invitations are and where our strengths are.
34:41
SPEAKER_02: And so that is where, you know, the strengths and the invitations for the three, seven, and the eights lie.
34:47
SPEAKER_02: And I think it's important to r realize too, that God is outside of time and there is no path or future to him.
34:56
SPEAKER_02: And that's really interesting when we really stop and think about that because of how we naturally think, right?
35:02
SPEAKER_02: And so he's only in the present moment with us.
35:06
SPEAKER_02: And so our growth is to really balance out from our narrowed lens that we sometimes have, right?
35:13
SPEAKER_02: To really see his sovereignty.
35:15
SPEAKER_02: And I think that that brings a lot of peace whenever I really think about that too.
35:21
SPEAKER_01: And that, yes, that is why this is so beautiful.
35:24
SPEAKER_01: Because God is bigger than and He He is the ultimate zoom out, He sees it all.
35:30
SPEAKER_01: And so as we look through what might be the strengths of each type as they relate to the Lord, as they show up in the world, these are strengths that are worth noting, and like you said, are bringing really, really important gifts to the body.
35:45
SPEAKER_01: When you can sit down with me and pray that way with expectancy and with belief that he will work, I am overcome because I will be honest, that is not natural for me to lean in and let's go, let's believe it.
35:59
SPEAKER_01: That's not natural for me.
36:00
SPEAKER_01: I see more of the current fears or doubts or why nots.
36:05
SPEAKER_01: And so these are strengths to the body.
36:08
SPEAKER_01: But this is part of the enneagram or any personality, any self-growth work.
36:14
SPEAKER_01: We see the strengths and we use them for the body, and we also see the invitations to grow.
36:19
SPEAKER_01: And so the way we grow is by that ultimate zooming out of I don't want to be so focused on the assertive stance or the whatever present stance that I'm missing all of who he is.
36:32
SPEAKER_01: We're growing towards that balance.
36:34
SPEAKER_01: And so, if if this specific little section of the podcast today sounded intriguing to you, then um, we want to direct you towards more of Amy's podcasts.
36:44
SPEAKER_01: She has episodes that are more, they're fuller and more in-depth, specifically on the stances and on orientation to time.
36:53
SPEAKER_01: So those will be linked in the show notes if you're interested in that.
36:58
SPEAKER_01: And so we have this topic of summer soul care.
37:01
SPEAKER_01: We have how each type might show up a little differently in that.
37:05
SPEAKER_01: And so we wanted to bring some practical strategies and rhythms that you can implement as a mama in the summer to nurture your soul during this season.
37:16
SPEAKER_01: And firstly, that's just getting quiet, which again, if all kids are home all the time.
37:23
SPEAKER_01: This quiet is much harder to achieve.
37:25
SPEAKER_01: But what quiet looks like is firstly removing distractions.
37:30
SPEAKER_01: And each of us are going to have a different plan or way to do this of where in the house is the quietest place, when in the house is the quietest time.
37:40
SPEAKER_01: What are all the things that you need to turn off in silence and pause to be able to achieve this quiet time?
37:48
SPEAKER_01: You know, for me, I love going through apps on my phone that help with devotionals and all of that.
37:57
SPEAKER_01: But we all know how easy it is to just click, click, click right back to Instagram.
38:02
SPEAKER_01: And then it's six o'clock in the morning, and instead of reading the word, I'm on Instagram.
38:06
SPEAKER_01: And I'm like, what am I doing?
38:08
SPEAKER_01: Um, but I have also learned the power of do not disturb on my phone because sometimes I want a song, but I don't want to get distracted by text.
38:17
SPEAKER_01: And so do not disturb can really help with that.
38:20
SPEAKER_01: And then, of course, there need to be times where there's just no phone present and it's just you and the Lord.
38:27
SPEAKER_01: And in that quiet space, once you've figured out where and when you can achieve zero distractions, then we move to a place of reflection that can start with gratitude.
38:37
SPEAKER_01: It's the best place to start.
38:39
SPEAKER_01: Gratitude always turns our heart back to the Lord, away from the circumstances and to the Lord of saying, thank you, thank you, thank you for so many things.
38:50
SPEAKER_01: And you know, there's plenty of studies out there on gratitude being incorporated as a daily activity and what that can do for your mental health.
38:59
SPEAKER_01: Um, and in this time of reflection, we're also doing a heart check.
39:02
SPEAKER_01: I love the phrase heart check because it's just how am I?
39:07
SPEAKER_01: How am I showing up?
39:08
SPEAKER_01: And that's the difference between reading the Bible because I think I'm supposed to read the Bible and sitting down in front of his word and saying, How is my heart as I am coming to this?
39:19
SPEAKER_01: And what do I need?
39:21
SPEAKER_01: What do I need right now?
39:22
SPEAKER_01: How am I feeling?
39:23
SPEAKER_01: What am I hoping?
39:24
SPEAKER_01: And this can be simple, guys.
39:26
SPEAKER_01: This doesn't have to be complicated.
39:27
SPEAKER_01: I did this this morning, and it's like, hey, I'm excited for vacation in a few days.
39:33
SPEAKER_01: I'm nervous or um anxious about all the things that need to happen before this vacation comes about.
39:42
SPEAKER_01: I'm thankful that we had a great weekend with family and made beautiful memories.
39:46
SPEAKER_01: And so I'm listing out really simple things, but then I can step back and say, okay, I'm holding a lot of different emotions right now.
39:54
SPEAKER_01: So what do I need today?
39:56
SPEAKER_01: What do I actually need to ask the Lord to come do today in my heart?
40:03
SPEAKER_01: And then there's a place of listening.
40:05
SPEAKER_01: After we've submitted, here is who I am.
40:08
SPEAKER_01: There's a listening in silence, in meditation, and then in reading his word.
40:13
SPEAKER_01: And that puts us in a posture of surrendering and of submitting, that saying, God, this is what I see in me, this is what's going on, this is the daily bread I need from you.
40:25
SPEAKER_01: And then we just get to say, Lord, would you come?
40:29
SPEAKER_01: What is it that I need to release that I've been trying to control?
40:33
SPEAKER_01: This is that time of surrendering and submission.
40:36
SPEAKER_01: Or what do I actually need to take ownership of that I've been putting off?
40:40
SPEAKER_01: Again, by personality type, these are gonna look different.
40:45
SPEAKER_01: One a few types might have more of that.
40:47
SPEAKER_01: I need to take ownership of things I've been putting off, versus other types have been trying to take too much control and need to release.
40:55
SPEAKER_01: But where is the Lord asking you to trust him even more deeply?
41:00
SPEAKER_01: And so, an important part when it comes to soul care, which I could talk about soul care all day.
41:05
SPEAKER_01: This is this is a passion of my heart, but some bring resistance and feel very unnatural to our type.
41:14
SPEAKER_01: And although these are the ones we want to avoid, this is the place where the change actually happens.
41:21
SPEAKER_01: Just like with an exercise regimen, right?
41:24
SPEAKER_01: We don't want to do the harder work right when it starts to burn, or it's right at the end of that, um, the end of that set of workout, right?
41:33
SPEAKER_01: Like it gets harder, but that's what the teachers are always yelling.
41:36
SPEAKER_01: I don't have Peloton, but that's even I'm a fitness instructor, and that's what I'm saying at the end, right?
41:41
SPEAKER_01: Like, this is where the change happens.
41:43
SPEAKER_01: And it's the same in um in these spiritual practices and disciplines.
41:48
SPEAKER_01: The change happens when we start to face resistance because a lot of the ugliness in our soul is coming out at that point, and we begin to realize what I've actually been holding on to instead of the Lord.
42:01
SPEAKER_01: And so be prepared that some of the yuck is going to be surfaced, but also praise the Lord because that's where the growth and the change happens.
42:13
SPEAKER_02: Wow, Sarah.
42:14
SPEAKER_02: Well, I could listen to you talk about soul care all day.
42:18
SPEAKER_02: It is definitely like your passion, and it just comes out when you're talking about it.
42:22
SPEAKER_02: And so I just, I'm just over here like smiling at her as she's talking because it's just, it's just really one thing that God has placed on her heart and to be able to teach others.
42:34
SPEAKER_02: And so I I love what you just said, and I really appreciate you saying that when the yuck is being surfaced, a lot of times that is whenever it feels wrong to keep going almost.
42:44
SPEAKER_02: Like uh clearly I'm you know irritating something or I need to stop where I'm at right now because this is this doesn't feel right.
42:52
SPEAKER_02: And a lot of times it is when you need to keep going and stuff is coming out, and so really appreciate you saying that.
43:00
SPEAKER_02: And so I just want to say every mama, whether you're riding in your car right now or you're just going on a walk with your AirPods in, to say this with me.
43:08
SPEAKER_02: And that is every single family has different rhythms, and all of these rhythms look different, and that is okay.
43:17
SPEAKER_02: That is okay.
43:19
SPEAKER_02: We don't want to play any comparison game as to my race needs to look like this mom's and it needs to look like this, yours is perfect the way that it is, and your and and how and how you your rhythm and your summer with your family is going.
43:33
SPEAKER_02: Um, it's okay that it looks different from others.
43:37
SPEAKER_02: And you know, why do they look different?
43:41
SPEAKER_02: Because each day and routine is is different and and and it's unique, whether that be the amount of kids that you have or the amount of honestly, help and tribe that you have, that looks different for everybody.
43:54
SPEAKER_02: And you know, your finances and your location.
43:57
SPEAKER_02: Those are all reasons that it looks really different for each family.
43:59
SPEAKER_02: And again, Again, it's okay that those that the that that's the way that it is.
44:04
SPEAKER_02: And so it is so easy to look at other families this summer and what they have that you may not have.
44:10
SPEAKER_02: And I encourage each parent listening to this to reflect on what you do have this summer.
44:16
SPEAKER_02: He has put you in this season for a very specific reason, and you have been given this role as a mom for a reason.
44:24
SPEAKER_02: No one can be your children's mom better than you can.
44:29
SPEAKER_02: And I am not negating the fact that, you know, the mom with older kids that has more money right now is not in an easier season.
44:37
SPEAKER_02: Oh, mom, I am I am not negating the fact that that season is easier than the mom that, you know, has very young children, several of them in finances are a struggle right now.
44:49
SPEAKER_02: But I do hope you remember that it is a season and that God does, you know, seasons come and go and that it will not always, you know, look look like this.
44:58
SPEAKER_02: There's a light at the end of the tunnel for you.
45:01
SPEAKER_02: And so take hope in the fact that just like summer is a physical season of the year that will eventually turn into fall, right?
45:08
SPEAKER_02: This season of your life with small, tiny children and tight budgets will also change.
45:13
SPEAKER_01: Janae, what better way for us to wrap up our portion of this podcast with that beautiful encouragement of we want to address what is helpful for each of us individually without going to that comparison place.
45:28
SPEAKER_01: And we know how easy that is to do.
45:30
SPEAKER_01: It really is.
45:32
SPEAKER_01: And so we want to encourage you that this summer may be hard.
45:35
SPEAKER_01: It may feel hard right now, wherever you're listening, um, whatever, whatever's on your docket today with your kids.
45:41
SPEAKER_01: But we hope this has been encouragement of how to take care of your soul a little bit better and just to keep going and be encouraged.
45:50
SPEAKER_01: It might not look exactly how you want it to look, but just like Janae said, our rhythms are different, and that's okay.
45:58
SPEAKER_01: So take the first step towards your soul care today, and we're excited to chat next time.
46:03
SPEAKER_00: Well, clearly, this is a topic that the collective coaches are very passionate about.
46:09
SPEAKER_00: I know we could chat for a long time about this idea of soul care, and I hope that you do take some action on some of this inspiration and these ideas.
46:18
SPEAKER_00: At least try to implement at least one life-giving rhythm to refresh your spirit this week.
46:24
SPEAKER_00: Now, if you like this, keep your eyes peeled.
46:26
SPEAKER_00: I know Sarah hinted at it before, but we have something really special in store that aligns with this idea to really help you take things to the next level of soul care and replenishment and refreshment.
46:40
SPEAKER_00: And I know we all could use a little bit more of that.
46:43
SPEAKER_00: So next week's podcast will conclude our summer mini-series.
46:48
SPEAKER_00: I thought it'd be fun to invite more collective members and have a few of us together on a panel where we answer some of your questions or some general questions that we get a lot from our clients or through emails and different conversations that we're having, whether it's about our faith walk, juggling motherhood and a business, or just other general life questions.
47:13
SPEAKER_00: And I can't wait to share that episode with you.
47:16
SPEAKER_00: So until next time, friend, continue to pursue God's perspective, purpose, and plans for your simply wholehearted life.