Latest / The Career Mentor Podcast with Fexingo: Finding Mentors, Sponsors, and Career Advisors / Finding a Mentor When You Are a Senior Executive
Transcript
- Lucas: Most people assume that once you reach the C-suite, you no longer need a mentor. That you've 'made it.' But in my experience, that's exactly when you need one most. Luna: I've heard senior leaders say they feel isolated at the top. Who do you turn to when you're the one everyone else comes to for answers? Lucas: Exactly. And there's data to back that up. A 2023 study from the Center for Creative Leadership found that nearly 60% of senior executives report feeling 'highly isolated' in their roles. Yet fewer than 20% have a formal mentor. Luna: So the problem isn't that they don't want a mentor. It's that they don't know where to find one at that level. Lucas: Right. The traditional mentor model—finding someone more senior—breaks down when you are the most senior. So you have to look sideways, and sometimes even downward. Luna: Sideways meaning peers at other companies? Or within your own organization? Lucas: Both. But especially outside your company. Internal peers are often competitors for the same promotion. External peers can be much more candid. For example, I know a CEO of a mid-size software firm who meets quarterly with three other CEOs from non-competing industries. They call it a 'CEO brain trust.' They share boardroom challenges, personnel issues, even compensation philosophy. Luna: That sounds like a peer advisory group. Like a Vistage or YPO but on a smaller scale. What about downward mentorship? Lucas: That's the reverse mentorship I mentioned. A senior executive pairs with a junior employee—often a millennial or Gen Z—to learn about technology, culture, or new market trends. But it can also be a source of honest feedback. The junior person has less at stake in telling you the truth. Luna: I remember the story of a Fortune 500 CFO who asked a 25-year-old analyst to mentor her on social media and how Gen Z thinks about financial products. She learned that her company's app was seen as 'cringey.' That insight led to a redesign. Lucas: Exactly. And that brings me to another source: board members. If you're a CEO or a C-suite executive, your board chair or a seasoned independent director can be an invaluable mentor. They have oversight but also distance. They've seen multiple companies and cycles. Luna: But a board member is technically your boss. Can that relationship feel safe? Lucas: It depends on trust. But many successful CEOs develop that relationship. I think of the CEO of a manufacturing company who told me her board chair became her de facto mentor during a supply chain crisis. He had been through a similar crisis at a previous company. He didn't micromanage; he asked questions that helped her think through options. Luna: So the mentor doesn't have to be someone who gives you answers. It can be someone who helps you ask better questions. Lucas: That's the core. And that's why executives need mentors who are not emotionally invested in the day-to-day. Your direct reports can't give you that; your boss may have their own agenda. A mentor from the board, a peer group, or even an executive coach can play that role. Luna: Let's talk about how to actually start that conversation. If I'm a senior VP and I want to approach a peer from another company, what do I say? Lucas: Be specific. Don't say 'Will you be my mentor?' That's too vague. Instead, say something like, 'I've always admired how you navigated your company through the digital transformation. Could we have a 30-minute call to discuss a similar challenge I'm facing?' That's low commitment and gives them a clear reason to say yes. Luna: And then after that call, if the chemistry is right, you can suggest a recurring coffee chat. But you need to bring value too. What's in it for them? Lucas: Great point. Senior executives are busy. You need to offer something in return. It could be your perspective on a topic you're strong on, or simply the opportunity to talk to a smart peer who understands their world. Many senior leaders actually crave that connection. Luna: Right. So the conversation is more of a mutual exchange. Not a one-way ask. Lucas: Exactly. And that's why the term 'mentor' can be misleading at the executive level. It sounds hierarchical. Instead, think of it as a 'trusted advisor' or 'thinking partner.' Luna: Okay, let's talk about a specific example. I read about a healthcare CEO who credits her board chair with helping her decide whether to acquire a competitor. She said the board chair didn't tell her what to do, but asked, 'What would success look like in three years?' That question reframed the whole analysis. Lucas: That's the power of a mentor who asks the right question rather than giving the answer. And that's what executives need most: clarity of thought, not a roadmap. Luna: What about the risk? What if the mentor relationship turns into a dependency? Or the mentor uses the relationship to influence decisions for their own benefit? Lucas: That's a legitimate concern. That's why you need to vet your mentor as much as they vet you. Look for someone with a track record of confidentiality and no conflicts of interest. Also, diversify your sources. Don't rely on one mentor. Build a personal board of directors. Luna: A personal board includes mentors from different areas—career, industry, life balance. That way, no single person has too much influence. Lucas: Exactly. And as an executive, you need to be intentional about scheduling those conversations. It's easy to let mentorship slip when you're busy. But that's when you need it most. Luna: So to wrap up: the key takeaway is that senior executives absolutely need mentors, but they need to seek them in non-traditional places—peers, board members, and even younger employees. Lucas: Right. And the best way to start is to identify one specific challenge you're facing and reach out to someone who's been there. Don't wait for a formal program. Initiate the conversation yourself. Luna: If today's episode gave you a useful perspective on your own mentorship needs, you can support the show and keep it ad-free by buying us a coffee. That's at buy me a coffee dot com slash fexingo. Lucas: Yeah, listener support really makes this possible. It's a small gesture that helps us keep bringing you insights like this. So if you found value here, consider contributing. Luna: Alright, back to the topic. One final thought: mentorship at the executive level isn't about finding someone older or more senior. It's about finding someone with a different vantage point. Lucas: Well said. Whether it's a peer, a board member, or a reverse mentor, the goal is to expand your perspective. Thanks for listening, and we'll see you next time.