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Red Skelton - Automobile Parking Problem · Red Skelton

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Artical science offers proved positive. No other leading cigarette gives you less nicotine,
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less throad irritating tars than the new, smoother, better tasting Roy Brown,
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Hollywood, The Raleigh Cigarette Program starring Red Scouting with David Forrester and his orchestra
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Singing Star and he'd Alice G. G. Pearson granted Balbert, Pat McGain,
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Wonderful Smith and yours Juli Rodo car It's a pleasure to bring a metro
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bolamres popular comedian in the Star. The Ralliy Cigarette Program, Rats Else right,
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Marks Easy Wadies and Jeff nine oh three ride nine o three rat we
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got something else in radio now to make people wonder about what happened to the
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football on McGee program? And I well, Rad, how is your trip
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to Chicago for you're old out at the transportation car? Is that right?
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Car? No corpse caught corpse says corpse here we got call it cars.
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We had a few old dead beats for officers, and we flew to Chicago
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right after the broadcast last week, you know, and a hop on the
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American Airliner and then one hour later you're in Chicago. All that came around
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told me I was going the wrong plane. Well, are you watching a
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flyer? No, I get to stick call it. When we landed in
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Las Vegas, I was so green. A vult flew on the wing and
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looked in the window at me, and he says, boy, what a
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cargo. Well, I guess she had an awful trip. No, I
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didn't, really it was I had a wonderful trip. Had the plane passengers
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rolling in the aisle, they like your jokes? That mine? Oh I
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unfastened their safety belt. Well, where to stay in Chicago? That's the
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Pomberhouse. There is really a hotel twenty eight stories high. Little midget tried
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to commit suicide there. Yeah, jumped off the edge of the rug.
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When you see a lot of your old army buddies back there, Yeah,
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I saw an old major of mine at the hotel. Did he speak to
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you? That's all he did, was just speak. He was afraid to
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take his hands off of the elevator controls. I met one fellow. I
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met one fellow that remembers when I was a private, which was always And
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remember one night I tried to sneak a little bulldog as a mascot into the
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camp. You know, so I put him under my coat. And I
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get up to the gate in the centry. O O, am right,
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serreal numbers. And before I could say anything, the bulldog blips the centry
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says okay, go ahead, sergeant. I didn't know as you're spiking.
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Oh here comes that boy. Nine hundred and three reasons why men should learn
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to whistle. Hello, mister, I wanted to thank you for the beautiful
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boocare of flowers you telegraph me from Chicago. Oh did you get him all
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right? Oh? Yes, I thought maybe going through those little wires mess
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up the pedals. I thought about you while you were gone. Yeah,
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I was wondering if you were taking good care of my fur coat you wore
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back there red you were her per coat. Yeah, it wasn't a little
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tight for you. No, I wore it under my shirt as usual.
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Your fur coat gets back from the laundry, I'll return it to you,
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okay, of course, for goodbye now, and don't forget Rhino three.
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Nino three. My mother wanted me to drive a pie wagon. Hey,
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look why I found out in the hall well Phil Baker from the Taking or
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Leave It programs. Well, well it's good to see, but you look
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a little tired. I am red. Look, I came over to see
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you if you'll help me, gladly. What's wrong? Well, as you
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know, I came out to California from New York and I can't find a
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place to live. Well, how am I staying with me? Do you
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think that limb will hold both of us? Yeah? I've tried everything,
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right, I even tried running the Los Angeles Coliseum. But no soap.
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There's really a shortage, isn't it. Yeah, I can't find soap anywhere.
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I feel sorry for that girl, you know, the one. She's
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lovely, she's engaged. She uses fish ponds. Hey did you go to
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see the manager about the department? I told you about it. I went
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to the manager telling my new red scout. Yeah, what happened? The
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rents so high? I can't even afford to stand in line. I can
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image a baker without any go Scarlear o'harror, a Democrat friend of mine was
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going to rent me his house red, but he lost it. They put
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him out of the house. Yeah, they put him out of the Senate.
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So I'm so upset. I'm almost at the end of my string.
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Well, Phil, I'll help you. You will I'll get you another ball
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of string. I've visited everybody, right, I've been to see Burns and
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Allen's Randy and Moore k Kais and now you've come to see Skelting. So
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that's how desperate I am. Yeah, Well you could do worships, but
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I don't believe in suicide. Well, don't give up hopeing I won't.
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I'm going over and see him now, goodbye, Okay? By PHILM nine
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oh three sixty four reds Now. Medical science offers proo positive. No other
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better tasting Really yes, proof positive, No other leading cigarette gives you less
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nicotine less throat irritating tars than the new Rawley. Scientific tests of America's six
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leading brands, based on the method used by the United States government, tests
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certified by a jury of fourteen doctors, have proved conclusively no other leading cigarette
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gives you less nicotine less throat irritating tars than Rawllis. So smokers enjoy the
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new smoother, better tasting rallies, and remember, medical science offers proof positives.
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No other leading cigarette gives you less nicotine, less throat irritating tars than
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the new rally cigarettes. Anita Ellis sayings the things we did last summer,
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the boat rise, we would tage, ride on the lage, the way
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we dust and home my favorite song, the thing sweet last summer, remember
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winter long, the midway and the fun the cuby does. We won the
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value ride to prove that you are strong. Things sweet last I remember with
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long early morning, hide, the rent to tan them fire, the lunches
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that we to pass. We never could explain that sudden summer, the looks
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we got when we got Wellie began to say black press, We say,
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how couldn't last? Rise? The last second, Way and tonight. The
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story from the Skeleton scrap Buck of Satire is about our automobile parking trouble.
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Our characters are fictional. If there's any similarity to the person's living freak,
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don't count remember y. Chapter twenty eight is entitled inside Parking. This is
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the story of Willie lump Off, a parking attendant who may be one of
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the reasons those surprise dents and keeps showing up in your of fenders. I'm
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late for work. I couldn't help it. Joe, and then bustn't get
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loaded. They don't stop for nobody. Boy and I burst your head A
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crowd or so crowded e where the men were standing the well, here it
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is the carefree parking garage looks like the Junkyard induction centered. Oh you finally
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got here, Willy. The morning rushes over? Why are you so late?
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I got my wife breakfast in bed. D We all were innate.
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When I feel like it, I get my wife breakfast in bed, and
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when she feels like it, I get her breakfast in bed. Well,
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wife and no wife. If you come in late again, you're fired.
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You've got to show more interest than your job. And look at the way
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you're dressed, a swallow tail coat and paddle pushes. Why don't you wear
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pants like the man? My wife wears the pants and my family and Willie,
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could you be a little more careful parking cars in the garage? Oh?
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How there you go again? You're still talking about the time I parked
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that Cadillac and the room will seat of that shovel. Sometimes I wonder way
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you line to drive tain't place everybody else does. In the scooter Clark and
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section out amusement part another thing. Would you mind telling me why you've been
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keeping the nineteen forty six cars from parking here? I'll tell you why.
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For a simple maiden. Anybody who can afford a nineteen forty six park can
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afford their own parking r and that the club the table too. Oh I
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want a stop. I thought you told me you went to college. I
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hid, I went to the Pekaboo College. I see you. It doesn't
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learn much in college study. Yeah, I learned that. I in college,
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I learned I could have stayed in high school. Hit the dark it
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comes away? Driver? Okay, oh Yon, could you my car?
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Run? Get it in her? He said, I'll be right there,
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Oh you will. Are you want a fifty cents or seventy five cent parking
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job? What's the difference with seventy five cents? You can keep any two
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fingers you like the best? How long you're gonna be? But I'm just
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going into the blood show to call my girl friend. All day parking man
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here? Good check? Okay, Yeah, let's see it for the fifty
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back. Yeah, let's put it like next butter Well, I hope these
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three drivers of these cars show up together because they're gonna leave that way free
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and they got their fingers say before the fire. Yeah, how about a
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ray? I give up? Here comes another guy. Yeah, he hello,
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I see where your license from? Out of town? Yep, I'm
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from Missouri, good old miss the Bluegrass country. Now Kentucky is the blue
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grass country. Missouri is the pendergrass country. Parking your three one dollar?
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Parking your three one doll Are you sure it's safe for me to park my
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car here? Good? Can't parking here and forget upout it? I don't
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know where that will to take the chance. It's just parting, not insured
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against beth Well. I'd like to see somebody try to steal it. Now.
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You don't know what I mean. I say, how can I be
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sure now that the car be here when I get back? Like taking it
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with you? It's good, claque, take it about that? Thanks?
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Yeah? Oh, I missed up. What's this fine print mean? Go
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jump in the lake? That to punish the guys. You're always asking what
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the fine print means? O boy, getting credible? Take my carboy,
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boys, look bub this stuff on my chin, the eight corn flakes here.
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I'll only be a few minutes to the parker where I can get out
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in ry. Do better than that. I'll park it so you can carry
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it home in your pocket. Have some stuff in the back seat, will
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be all right. Sure, it's a case of what are you looking at
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me so suspiciously? I don't like the way you're drooling. What's in the
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back seat? Huh? He's a sasprilla sack. Yeah, that's French for
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old bourbon. Well, nobody's gonna bother that shut. You even have to
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lock the car. I'll keep my eye on it. The bloodshot eyes.
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I don't know if I can trust her. You bonded yep, one hundred
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pop on the second tholf. Maybe i'd better Luck are you in? You're
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waiting that I might steal something? Look that hurts. I'm an honest man.
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I didn't say you weren't. I promised I would always see who did
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you promise your mother? You the warden to San Quentin just before he paroled
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me. I'll park your car. We also have a battery charging sermon.
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Luck wise guy turned the ignition off. Oh well, you're gonna do things
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easy, hair hair. You is the clatch. I've got a good mind
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to punch you in the nose me? And who else you? And who
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do you know? What happened to the last guy that picked a fight with
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me? What you had to pay my doctor bill? Look, I don't
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want any trouble. Just park my car, lock it and bring me the
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key. Okay, that's my park it. That's all you're going to have
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left. He worry when you stop squawking that car's blocking the drive. When
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your pockets oh here, okay, joke, Well have you been who left
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that back door bunny? When you go park the car? Okay, I'll
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put you on the top floor of the garage. Careful going up that lamp.
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I've waited a long time for that. Gosh sht. Why these town
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and countries are really fast? Ain't the thirty four? The one more for
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the coat? Now? Oh no, my car? Look at it?
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Ain't that some fight, all right? But the country the method? Now
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medical science offers proof positive. No other leading cigarette gives you less nicotine less
17:26
throat irritating tars than the new smoother, better tastingly Yes, proof positive.
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No other leading cigarette gives you less nicotine less throw irritating tars than the new
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ray That beautiful star, the strange woman Hetty Lamar says, quote, yes,
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I've changed Raley's the keeps. I've studied the reports, and medical science
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has proved no other leading cigarette gives you less nicotine less throat irritating tars than
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Raleigh, Right, Hetty Lamar. Those tasks were based on the method used
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by the United States government. So friends enjoy the smoother, better tasting Raleigh
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and remember, medical science offers proof positive no other leading cigarette gives you less
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nicotine less throat irritating tars than the new Raleigh cigarettes. O Dave Forester and
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is Raleigh Cigarette Orchestra plays a corner nine entitled free parking. Some people would
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rather spend time, gas and energy before they spend ten cents to park the
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car on a lot. And so it's Grandpa Junior, Junior, did you
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bring in the apple pie from the porch like I told you? Yes,
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yes, I did, I go get your plate. Now would you like
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to dive downtown with me? Drive our car downtown? Yes, downtown?
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We had all the pretty stars. Yes, we're the traffic if we all
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heavy and light change me a yeah coming from a yes nothing doing boy here?
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Boy, you know I don't have accident? Oh no, and you.
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The car's no accident. You gotta knack for it. Now, get
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your coats on. Okay, I think I'll wear a fur neck piece.
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What what right? Right? Get you little by little right? It's only
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fair, oh versus little hot? Tell me, I thought I was gonna
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eat you up? You know, I thought it was the wolf. Asked
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to Cramble. What is it? Looks like a run over rabbit or something,
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he said, sied news. He must have died a horrible dad.
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Stop. Come on you come on me though, Okay, I can I
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drive? Oh no, dear, you can't drive. You wouldn't know what
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to do with you had to stop real quick, I would do the shame
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as you, dude, there are time is see something gonna run into it?
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I picked out something cheap and run into that. I don't like the
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way you drive me. Oh he doesn't. Well, when he comes home,
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I'll tell him a thing or two. Well, at least it won't
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be boring around the house tonight. Well, at least I can part better
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than he can, can't I? Well, can't you answer me? You're
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want to hit me? Go ahead and do you don't try to twick me
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into it? When we got stuff like. I don't know what I want
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to get, the backhand or the palm. I don't like to be surprised.
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I know what to come. Oh, I don't know what to do
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with you. I wish the government would let you keep the income tax and
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send them the dependence. Well, I told you again, Papa, not
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to leave the keys in the car when he parked it on the street.
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Now, actually he parked himself too, right next to the curb, isn't
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your Grandda. That's a big law, big law? Hey, grandfather?
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Hearing the eye spot, I would lumber in this country would start moving that
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bad boy. Oh there's a power light company. I better pay the water
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bill? Why because if I don't, they have turned off our water and
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we won't be able to take any backs. You mean, I won't be
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able to get in the tub every night and hid you scrub behind me and
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put jokes on over me? Dude? Your why are you crying? God?
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You want to go play the bill here? All this traffic ever,
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find a parking place. Guy's going there, parking lot over and we just
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pass it there and places like Beauty Parli. Your car goes in straight and
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it comes out permanent waves just parked along with feet. He still need to
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pay a dime just to talk for a couple of seconds. There's a man
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up the streak getting in new car. Maybe he's going to point out good
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Hey, we're in a turn of Why good darkened here? It's no smoke,
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Junior, get out of the ash track. You're lucky for me.
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The window wasn't open. That's what you get for standing up in the seat
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well into the man pulling out that parking states or not? Hello, Hello,
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night day for a ride in it? Yes, it's certainly it.
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Well, why don't you take one? Let us have it? Parking you
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come to Prieman, you're coming quiet, Yes to Prieman. I'm sorry.
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You can't double park. It's a violation of Section nine oh three Dash C
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of the State Motor Vehicle cool and conflicts with municipal regulations. Also windy open.
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Why don't you put it on the parking lot across the street. Well,
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we're pulling over there. If you will pay for your broker ten says
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don't grows on trees, and that kind of money would keep me in footballs
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for the rest. Look, lady, are you gonna move along? Or
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am I gonna have to rite you take. Hey, lady, I'll pull
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out and give you this space. I can circle the block a couple of
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times before my party comes out. Mighty neighbor. Bye. I don't like
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to say anything, but that car is pretty big for such a small space.
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You know, I'm getting hicky. I'll get out and direct this stuffy
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Junia. Am I close to the curb? Yes? Go buy a foot
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away from the other side of this tree. It's all like you. I
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can get in that state, but you just keep out of the way.
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Y okay, right now, back up over get way, I can take
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left post. What did you say, Junior, I'm gonna walk down at
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dark street to night. You didn't see guide officer. Well, I'm sorry,
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but you can't park like that, lady. Yeah, I think it
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looks kind of nice. Park like that, you know, back wheels on
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the sidewalk in the front, wheels on the street like that, you know,
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sort of looks like it's bending over looking for company. I didn't know
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this how park is sting or el We better back up. He's getting kind
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of mad, you know, Look, little boy, you better stand back
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out of the way right You might cause her to really wreck the car.
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Oh, yes, you wouldn't want that to happen with you? I sare
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you dream? Are you? I turn out here? I turn How did
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that speak? Do you want to cast that over you and get big black
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clocks all over your clean suit. I'm going to back in that place if
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it takes me all days, Junior, tell me if I'm going to miss
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that man's spender. Okay, Junior, well you can tell you if you're
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gonna miss it, you what't And all the back in the next years of
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the Sampire. That's Walder, Data quarren Is Walter Friend, Alex bald Person
28:27
Lacy and Martin rot Heres Biliado gun on the next years of them. This
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is red scouting thing the buying nown Thanks for listening and thanks for buying.
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BAWNA willing to invite a rather goodness and during the week listen to people are
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planning Withoutlake later next Friday night and join us with Red Galvin next Tuesday.
29:25
REDS. Golven is HEARDing this program for the courtesy of Metro Golden Mayor.
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