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S2 E21 - Mystery Guest - Cat Juggler · The Steve & Jeff Show

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_02: Previously on the Steven Jeff show.
• 0:02
  SPEAKER_02: Everything that could go wrong with her did.
• 0:04
  SPEAKER_02: What did you do?
• 0:04
  SPEAKER_02: Well, we had the mac and cheese instead.
• 0:06
  SPEAKER_02: I really hope that having me on the show does not bring bad luck.
• 0:11
  SPEAKER_02: Cold hard science and ancient superstition.
• 0:14
  SPEAKER_02: I hope I don't bring bad luck.
• 0:16
  SPEAKER_02: I just don't believe it.
• 0:17
  SPEAKER_00: It was all my fault.
• 0:18
  SPEAKER_02: They're not scared of guns.
• 0:19
  SPEAKER_00: I did win the lottery.
• 0:20
  SPEAKER_02: Not the consummation of good luck.
• 0:22
  SPEAKER_02: I would go and spend summers with her and my cousin Opie.
• 0:27
  SPEAKER_02: Might not have been much self-de suture.
• 0:29
  SPEAKER_02: My own private South Carolina.
• 0:31
  SPEAKER_02: Is that a fire near the bathroom?
• 0:33
  SPEAKER_03: I think I better leave.
• 0:34
  SPEAKER_02: And you know, she's right-handed, so you know.
• 0:36
  SPEAKER_02: Right, people, be sure and follow or subscribe to the Steve and Jeff Show wherever you listen to podcasts.
• 0:43
  SPEAKER_02: And now here's Steve and Jeff.
• 0:45
  SPEAKER_02: Well, thanks, Johnny and Jeff.
• 0:47
  SPEAKER_02: It is great to be back, isn't it?
• 0:49
  SPEAKER_03: Well, Steve, you remember we had this conversation.
• 0:51
  SPEAKER_03: This was right before the awards for best podcast ever that we won in the last couple of years.
• 0:57
  SPEAKER_03: And I think we both agreed that the most annoying part of our competition is that they would come on the show instead of having a joke that was like embedded in the story like we do, they would come on and they'd spend the first 15 minutes saying where they're performing, like bragging that there's some hot shit.
• 1:14
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, and they'll tell us all the places they're gonna be, and they don't really tell us why we care where they're gonna be.
• 1:19
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, you're gonna be in Miami at Duke's.
• 1:22
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, why do I care?
• 1:23
  SPEAKER_02: Who cares, right?
• 1:24
  SPEAKER_03: Certainly, I could do that.
• 1:26
  SPEAKER_03: You know, I could let everybody know that April 9th, I'm gonna be at Fitzgerald's in Berwin, Illinois, doing some storytelling and people should come out and just have a good time.
• 1:35
  SPEAKER_03: I'm sure it'll be fun.
• 1:37
  SPEAKER_03: But I don't say that, Steve, because that's boring.
• 1:40
  SPEAKER_03: That's not important.
• 1:42
  SPEAKER_02: We are not gonna sink to their level.
• 1:44
  SPEAKER_02: We are better than that.
• 1:45
  SPEAKER_02: If we were gonna sink to their level, though, I could point out that yes, I'm going to be in a sketch improv show at the Backline Comedy Theater in Omaha on April 4th at 7 p.m.
• 1:56
  SPEAKER_02: And I'm actually going to be in another improv show, improv comedy show at the Blackstone Theater in Omaha on April 19th at 7 p.m.
• 2:05
  SPEAKER_03: But who cares, right?
• 2:06
  SPEAKER_03: Anyone could do that, Steve.
• 2:08
  SPEAKER_03: Anyone, anybody could say that.
• 2:10
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, anyone can say it, even if they're not going to be there.
• 2:13
  SPEAKER_02: You know, I could say I'm going to be in Canada.
• 2:15
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, I could say I perform in Greenland.
• 2:17
  SPEAKER_02: I, you know, whatever.
• 2:18
  SPEAKER_02: I who cares, right?
• 2:19
  SPEAKER_03: The other thing is the predictability of it, the idea of every single week they get on and they start where they're going to be.
• 2:27
  SPEAKER_03: Well, you know, most of the time they're just repeating where they were the week before.
• 2:30
  SPEAKER_03: And you know, for us, what I am most proud of us with Steve, Steve with us of Steve, is that and that's easy for you to say, Jeff.
• 2:39
  SPEAKER_02: I know, but it's it means so much to me.
• 2:41
  SPEAKER_02: I really do.
• 2:42
  SPEAKER_03: But what I am proud of is that we find new and interesting ways to do this show so that people aren't bored, so that they don't it's like all it's the same thing.
• 2:51
  SPEAKER_03: How's it going, Steve?
• 2:52
  SPEAKER_03: Oh well, except for that.
• 2:54
  SPEAKER_02: I am so glad you said that, Jeff, because you know, thinking about where people are going to be, I can't help but think about where we've been.
• 3:02
  SPEAKER_02: When I hear where we're going to be, where have we been?
• 3:05
  SPEAKER_02: And I start to get nostalgic.
• 3:06
  SPEAKER_02: We've got a great guest tonight, Jeff.
• 3:08
  SPEAKER_02: And I could just introduce our guest, right?
• 3:10
  SPEAKER_02: Like I could just tap the window and introduce our guest, like I do most of the time, right?
• 3:15
  SPEAKER_02: But thinking about where we've been, maybe I'm getting nostalgic, but you remember that great old show, What's My Line?
• 3:21
  SPEAKER_02: When we were like little types, it was on.
• 3:24
  SPEAKER_02: And it was already old then.
• 3:25
  SPEAKER_02: You know, our grandparents used to watch it even then, you know.
• 3:28
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, it was old.
• 3:29
  SPEAKER_02: When it was old, it was old.
• 3:30
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 3:30
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, they would have this mystery guest come on, and John Charles Daly, the host, would say, Enter mystery challenger and sign in, please.
• 3:39
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, they sign in and the audience will all applaud, they say recognize the guest, and you know, but then uh the people would be blindfolded and they'd have to guess who the guest was.
• 3:48
  SPEAKER_02: That sounds really cool.
• 3:50
  SPEAKER_02: Maybe we should give that a shot.
• 3:51
  SPEAKER_02: If you're up for it, if you would like to do this, I would like to do our guest tonight as a mystery guest, mystery challenger on what's my line.
• 4:00
  SPEAKER_02: So enter mystery challenger and sign in, please.
• 4:06
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, listen to that awesome.
• 4:08
  SPEAKER_01: It is so, so nice for you to have me on the show.
• 4:13
  SPEAKER_02: I think the audience recognizes who they are.
• 4:16
  SPEAKER_03: I think so.
• 4:17
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, and I got a pretty good idea who it is, too, Steve.
• 4:20
  SPEAKER_03: You know, I think this game's gonna go by really fast.
• 4:22
  SPEAKER_02: Well, why don't we uh why don't we start the question with you, Jeff?
• 4:25
  SPEAKER_02: Because everyone would always kind of say it's one down and nine to go, Arlene Francis.
• 4:29
  SPEAKER_02: You know, one two down and eight to go, Bennett serve.
• 4:32
  SPEAKER_02: Go ahead, Jeff.
• 4:32
  SPEAKER_02: Get started.
• 4:33
  SPEAKER_02: Sure.
• 4:33
  SPEAKER_03: Okay, mystery guest, are you famous?
• 4:37
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, well, I'd say I have not everyone's taste, but I certainly do have a bit of a cult following for those who know me and what I do.
• 4:49
  SPEAKER_03: Okay, Steve, I have a guess.
• 4:50
  SPEAKER_03: I think I I'm sorry, Steve.
• 4:52
  SPEAKER_03: I think I know this.
• 4:53
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, sure.
• 4:53
  SPEAKER_03: Are you are you Joey Heterton?
• 4:56
  SPEAKER_01: No.
• 4:57
  SPEAKER_01: Who is this Joey Heatherton?
• 5:01
  SPEAKER_03: Just the sexiest woman to ever be on a Bob Hope special.
• 5:09
  SPEAKER_03: Uh never mind.
• 5:10
  SPEAKER_03: You know what, Steve?
• 5:11
  SPEAKER_03: I think it's your turn.
• 5:12
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, Mr.
• 5:13
  SPEAKER_02: Guest, are you a man or a woman?
• 5:15
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, I'm a woman.
• 5:18
  SPEAKER_01: You can see me through the window.
• 5:20
  SPEAKER_01: I'm standing right next to you, and we talked over the phone before you invited me on the show.
• 5:27
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, oh, that's silly B, of course.
• 5:30
  SPEAKER_02: Yes, and I and I I I gotta say, you know, for a woman who was on television in the 1960s, you look great.
• 5:37
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, I was never on the TV.
• 5:40
  SPEAKER_01: I uh this face wasn't made for TV, it was made for podcasting.
• 5:46
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, I like that answer, Jeff.
• 5:48
  SPEAKER_03: That is yeah, he's funky and smart.
• 5:50
  SPEAKER_03: Here, my question to Mystery Guest is do you do a job that requires physical skill?
• 5:58
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, absolutely, I do.
• 6:00
  SPEAKER_03: Okay, I know.
• 6:01
  SPEAKER_03: Are you Taylor Swift?
• 6:03
  SPEAKER_03: I knew it.
• 6:04
  SPEAKER_03: I knew it.
• 6:05
  SPEAKER_01: No, I'm not Taylor Swift.
• 6:08
  SPEAKER_01: Sorry to get your hopes up, dear.
• 6:11
  SPEAKER_03: I'm surprised because you know, Taylor a lot of energy, a lot of physical skills required.
• 6:17
  SPEAKER_02: So I just figured that was the obvious clue.
• 6:19
  SPEAKER_02: I've got kind of a two-part question for our mystery guest here.
• 6:22
  SPEAKER_02: First, do people of all ages enjoy your work?
• 6:26
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, do more children enjoy it more than adults?
• 6:29
  SPEAKER_01: I'd say I'd have a mixed audience appealing to a wide range of ages.
• 6:37
  SPEAKER_02: Ah I've got to ask, do men react to you differently now that you're such a big football fan?
• 6:43
  SPEAKER_01: I don't really like the football.
• 6:47
  SPEAKER_01: I'm more of a soccer fan.
• 6:49
  SPEAKER_02: Wow, Jeff, it looks like once again, once again, Jeff, and just for the millions of let's be honest, Jeff, the millions of listeners.
• 6:57
  SPEAKER_02: Once again, Jeff, we are the cutting edge podcast because look listen to that news that we just broke on this podcast.
• 7:04
  SPEAKER_02: I would have thought that all the time that our guest had spent cheering for the Kansas City Chiefs, you should be a big football fan, but apparently not.
• 7:12
  SPEAKER_01: I'm a not Taylor Swift deer.
• 7:15
  SPEAKER_03: Oh Steve, you're right.
• 7:17
  SPEAKER_03: That is big news.
• 7:18
  SPEAKER_03: I would have thought she's cheering on something, so I don't think there's a soccer game going on up in the booth.
• 7:24
  SPEAKER_03: I'm just as surprised as you.
• 7:26
  SPEAKER_03: My question, it has to do with your name.
• 7:28
  SPEAKER_03: Without giving away your identity.
• 7:30
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, yeah, don't know.
• 7:30
  SPEAKER_03: Don't I won't do that.
• 7:32
  SPEAKER_03: But let's say you were engaged and you were gonna get married.
• 7:36
  SPEAKER_03: Would you take your husband's name, even though you're more famous?
• 7:41
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know what I'll do or what Taylor will do when she is married, because she is not me.
• 7:50
  SPEAKER_01: I am not Taylor Swift.
• 7:53
  SPEAKER_02: Our guest is not Taylor Swift.
• 7:55
  SPEAKER_02: I think I know who our guest is, Jeff.
• 7:57
  SPEAKER_02: I think I know.
• 7:59
  SPEAKER_02: I think I may know too, but you go first.
• 8:01
  SPEAKER_02: From that last answer, suddenly dawned on me.
• 8:04
  SPEAKER_02: Are you a professional cat juggler?
• 8:07
  SPEAKER_03: Oh yeah, dear.
• 8:10
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, I was gonna say that.
• 8:12
  SPEAKER_03: Steve, that was my next guest after Joey Heatherton.
• 8:15
  SPEAKER_02: Joey Heatherton.
• 8:16
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, yeah.
• 8:16
  SPEAKER_02: Hey, welcome to the show, Joey.
• 8:19
  SPEAKER_01: Not Joey, it's it's Doris.
• 8:22
  SPEAKER_01: Doris Day, but thank you so much for having me, Dearie.
• 8:27
  SPEAKER_01: I'm so excited to be on your program, Doris Day.
• 8:32
  SPEAKER_02: Wow.
• 8:32
  SPEAKER_02: So we do have a famous celebrity on the show, Doris Day.
• 8:36
  SPEAKER_01: And she was no no, that one is dead, dear.
• 8:39
  SPEAKER_01: I'm there, we're not related.
• 8:42
  SPEAKER_02: Oh well, Joey, Doris, welcome to the show.
• 8:45
  SPEAKER_02: I don't think we've ever had a juggler of any kind on the show, let alone a cat juggler.
• 8:50
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, we've we've had some people who juggle gig jobs, but we haven't had anybody that actually physically juggles.
• 8:56
  SPEAKER_02: How do you get started juggling?
• 8:58
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, that's a wonderful question.
• 9:02
  SPEAKER_01: I had been juggling for many years.
• 9:05
  SPEAKER_01: It was a hobby of mine that I've always felt passionate about.
• 9:10
  SPEAKER_01: And then one day I was looking at my cats and I decided to juggle them.
• 9:18
  SPEAKER_01: I started when I was five years old and then wasn't using cats then.
• 9:24
  SPEAKER_01: I was using juggling balls, and then by then I got to be about eight, and I was getting a little more confident, but a little bit bored.
• 9:35
  SPEAKER_01: So I took my mother's cats and I just started throwing them in the air and catching them.
• 9:42
  SPEAKER_03: And that makes sense.
• 9:43
  SPEAKER_03: That was the reason you did cats instead of other animals?
• 9:46
  SPEAKER_01: Well, I suppose if we had dogs or hamsters or snakes, I would have used them.
• 9:54
  SPEAKER_01: Cats were just what was available at the time.
• 9:58
  SPEAKER_01: And you know, my mother, she really loved watching the cats fly through the air.
• 10:04
  SPEAKER_01: Almost.
• 10:05
  SPEAKER_02: I heard about somebody once who claimed that they juggled babies.
• 10:09
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, I suppose if you'd had a bunch of babies around, you would have you'd be a baby juggler.
• 10:13
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, of course, dearie.
• 10:16
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, I would love to juggle a baby and then watch them go coo-coo-ka-ka, catch em or not.
• 10:24
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, catch them all.
• 10:26
  SPEAKER_01: Every juggler drops something every now and then, but you catch most of them.
• 10:32
  SPEAKER_02: That actually leads me to my next question.
• 10:34
  SPEAKER_02: And juggling, you certainly are going to drop them now and again, particularly when you're learning this the skills, when you're developing, you're gonna probably drop more often than maybe you do now.
• 10:44
  SPEAKER_02: You know what they say about about cats always landing on their feet?
• 10:47
  SPEAKER_02: Is that is that true?
• 10:48
  SPEAKER_01: In my experience, no.
• 10:52
  SPEAKER_01: Not always.
• 10:54
  SPEAKER_01: I think they get a little bit dizzy once they've been spinning in the air for a little bit.
• 11:00
  SPEAKER_02: I would imagine.
• 11:00
  SPEAKER_02: So they they kind of do like a roll when they fall.
• 11:03
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, more of a squash, slap.
• 11:10
  SPEAKER_03: I'm not a cat lover.
• 11:11
  SPEAKER_03: I've I never, you know, I'm a dog person.
• 11:13
  SPEAKER_03: So I don't know.
• 11:14
  SPEAKER_03: And maybe you know more because you are a uh a cat lover, but I've never heard a cat laugh.
• 11:20
  SPEAKER_03: Is that something that people just are missing in in their training, or are are their cats depressed?
• 11:27
  SPEAKER_03: Is that unusual?
• 11:28
  SPEAKER_03: And how do you teach that?
• 11:30
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, I've definitely heard my cats laugh when they're being tossed in the air.
• 11:36
  SPEAKER_01: It sounds something like and that's how I know they're so happy.
• 11:43
  SPEAKER_02: You know, Jeff, that is a great point because uh we've got cats here at home and oh I love love cats, big cat fan, and they're very nice little animals, but I don't know that I've ever heard them laugh.
• 11:54
  SPEAKER_03: Well, maybe, Steve, you need to sign up for the class.
• 11:56
  SPEAKER_03: Is that that's what you're teaching?
• 11:58
  SPEAKER_01: Absolutely, and it's never too late to learn how to juggle.
• 12:04
  SPEAKER_01: And all you need to do is give me money and cats, and you're gonna need about six cats to start.
• 12:12
  SPEAKER_01: It will get down to four eventually.
• 12:17
  SPEAKER_01: You get better at it.
• 12:19
  SPEAKER_01: We can't all be good right off the bat.
• 12:22
  SPEAKER_01: You gotta practice.
• 12:24
  SPEAKER_02: Should the cats be all about the same weight?
• 12:27
  SPEAKER_02: Because you know, with those juggling balls are typically the same weight, but you know, cats, hey, some cats are really skinny and scrawny, and some cats are really heavy.
• 12:35
  SPEAKER_02: Does that cause a problem with the juggling?
• 12:37
  SPEAKER_01: If you know you don't know the weight of the cat that you're uh throwing or the size, it just makes it more interesting.
• 12:46
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, you know, I like the spontaneity of it.
• 12:49
  SPEAKER_01: Will uh this one be heavy?
• 12:51
  SPEAKER_01: Will this one be light?
• 12:53
  SPEAKER_01: Will this one I will I catch it?
• 12:55
  SPEAKER_01: Will this one fall on the ground go splat?
• 12:59
  SPEAKER_02: That keeps you on your toes, I bet.
• 13:00
  SPEAKER_02: It's kind of like improv, you know.
• 13:02
  SPEAKER_02: It's like you're like you're you're always ready, you know.
• 13:04
  SPEAKER_02: You gotta listen, you gotta be ready.
• 13:05
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, it's improv with more meat.
• 13:08
  SPEAKER_03: Again, I don't know anything about this training and and these cats, but you probably want to get young cats, or I guess they call them kittens, because they haven't used up any of their well, and they haven't used up their any of their lives yet.
• 13:20
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, yeah so you know you can drop them seven, eight times and you don't have to replace them.
• 13:26
  SPEAKER_03: It's just a a suggestion.
• 13:28
  SPEAKER_03: Am I on the right track there?
• 13:29
  SPEAKER_01: Uh I think I think that math is uh okay in my book.
• 13:36
  SPEAKER_03: I'm just realizing something as we're doing the show.
• 13:39
  SPEAKER_03: It's a fascinating show.
• 13:40
  SPEAKER_03: Really great show.
• 13:41
  SPEAKER_03: It's one of the best guests we've had, Jeff.
• 13:43
  SPEAKER_03: This is really thank you, dear.
• 13:47
  SPEAKER_03: Absolutely.
• 13:48
  SPEAKER_03: But I am a little concerned that we could get in trouble, Steve.
• 13:52
  SPEAKER_03: I know you know in the past we've gotten some complaints and the renting of the puppies.
• 13:56
  SPEAKER_03: I know we got some feedback.
• 13:58
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, you and Kathy have that weekend puppy rental business.
• 14:01
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, you know, you rent a puppy for a weekend and then you just return them, and you know, we either put them up for adoption or you know, or we put them out in the farms, you know, take them out to the farms, take them out to the farm.
• 14:12
  SPEAKER_03: But there's that organization, the P A J C, the people against juggling cats.
• 14:19
  SPEAKER_03: And you know, those guys, it's always something, isn't it?
• 14:22
  SPEAKER_02: What kind of a world do we live in, Steve?
• 14:25
  SPEAKER_02: You know, this is this is the definition of woke.
• 14:27
  SPEAKER_02: They're against juggling cats.
• 14:29
  SPEAKER_02: Well, what about all the other stuff that could happen to cats?
• 14:31
  SPEAKER_03: I know.
• 14:32
  SPEAKER_03: I don't see them worried about me dropping a cat off of a tall building.
• 14:37
  SPEAKER_03: No, you know, juggling's bad, but juggling them 10 flights is okay.
• 14:41
  SPEAKER_03: It's or putting them in the the dryer with you know low heat, of course.
• 14:45
  SPEAKER_03: No, and watching them bounce around, you know, as they slowly increase the speed.
• 14:50
  SPEAKER_03: It's funny, but it seems to me like that's worse.
• 14:54
  SPEAKER_02: That is such a great point, Jeff.
• 14:55
  SPEAKER_02: And you know, now I just want to let our listeners know the millions, because a lot of them are animal lovers and cat fans, and I we don't condone any animal abuse of any type.
• 15:07
  SPEAKER_02: But you know, it would be nice to have some consistency.
• 15:10
  SPEAKER_02: Is there an organization that's against, oh, I don't know, let's say strapping your pet to the top of your car and then driving cross-country on a three-day vacation to Palm Springs?
• 15:19
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, hey, where's that organization?
• 15:22
  SPEAKER_02: Never heard a lobbying group, never heard of one, never heard of it, not aware of anything like that.
• 15:26
  SPEAKER_02: Or what about placing your cat inside one of those uh, you know, those cornhole boxes, then you really get drunk on a bunch of those smirn off ice things and get bonus points for hitting the cat?
• 15:34
  SPEAKER_02: You know, I mean where's the organization that prevents that?
• 15:37
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, that's a real that's an epidemic, Jeff.
• 15:40
  SPEAKER_02: That's happening everywhere.
• 15:41
  SPEAKER_03: Misplaced concerns.
• 15:42
  SPEAKER_03: They just are focusing on the wrong things.
• 15:45
  SPEAKER_03: It's right in front of them.
• 15:46
  SPEAKER_03: All they have to do is spend a weekend with us, they would be busy for a long time.
• 15:50
  SPEAKER_02: What do you want to bet that this group that's against juggling is funded by the people that make those cornhole games?
• 15:56
  SPEAKER_02: So that we'll focus on we'll focus on that and we won't look over there.
• 16:01
  SPEAKER_02: Oh no, we won't look at the cornhole game where they're throwing bean bags at cats.
• 16:05
  SPEAKER_02: No, no.
• 16:06
  SPEAKER_03: It's horrible.
• 16:07
  SPEAKER_03: And Steve, we did an episode on Soyant Green, and I never looked at that cat food, especially the stuff that's in a can.
• 16:14
  SPEAKER_03: I mean, you know, I think I opened up a can once.
• 16:17
  SPEAKER_03: I was over at my brother's who has cats, and I opened up, I thought I saw an eyeball in there, um, a human eyeball.
• 16:23
  SPEAKER_03: They just need to focus on other stuff and just oh absolutely leave the jugglers of the world alone.
• 16:29
  SPEAKER_03: I'm sorry, Joey.
• 16:30
  SPEAKER_03: Just got carried away a bit, but it just makes me mad sometimes.
• 16:34
  SPEAKER_01: It's Doris, and yes, I agree.
• 16:38
  SPEAKER_01: It's really the quality of life that you give to your pets that's the most important rather than the longevity.
• 16:48
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, would my cats live a little longer?
• 16:51
  SPEAKER_01: Would they walk a little bit better?
• 16:54
  SPEAKER_01: Would they still have online lives if I wasn't juggling?
• 16:59
  SPEAKER_01: Sure.
• 17:00
  SPEAKER_01: But how much fun that would that be for them?
• 17:03
  SPEAKER_01: You're gonna take away all the joy out of their lives, and then they'll just be stuck in a tiny crate all crammed up together, which is where I put my cats when I'm not juggling them.
• 17:17
  SPEAKER_01: It's terrible.
• 17:18
  SPEAKER_01: And you know, uh, what all this talk about juggling cats?
• 17:22
  SPEAKER_01: Well, what about dogs and gerples and fish?
• 17:26
  SPEAKER_01: No, they don't seem to care that I sometimes take my fish out of the bowl and juggle them.
• 17:33
  SPEAKER_01: Well, why don't the fish matter?
• 17:35
  SPEAKER_01: You know, they can't breathe when they're not in water, so that's just very insensitive to be only focusing on the cats, I think.
• 17:43
  SPEAKER_02: I think fish matter.
• 17:44
  SPEAKER_01: Fish matter.
• 17:45
  SPEAKER_02: Fish do matter.
• 17:46
  SPEAKER_02: Fish matter.
• 17:47
  SPEAKER_02: I think all fish matter.
• 17:48
  SPEAKER_02: You know, yeah.
• 17:49
  SPEAKER_02: Doris, can we see one of your performances?
• 17:51
  SPEAKER_02: Do you do these in public or do you do most of your juggling in private or do you do you do shows?
• 17:57
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, well, I would love to perform at the Super Bowl halftime show, but they won't answer my letters.
• 18:06
  SPEAKER_01: I'll just keep writing.
• 18:07
  SPEAKER_01: Once, you know, you get would get a few people protesting at the game, I'm sure.
• 18:14
  SPEAKER_01: Get the cat juggler on the stage, move out of the way, Beyonce.
• 18:19
  SPEAKER_01: I I think people would chant that, maybe.
• 18:22
  SPEAKER_01: Honestly, these Super Bowl games are so boring, cause it's always just some very fancy pop star singing songs and there's never any juggling.
• 18:34
  SPEAKER_01: But until then, you know, I'll just keep writing them my letters and asking them to let me throw my kitties on the stage.
• 18:44
  SPEAKER_02: If you signed your letters Taylor Swift, they'd probably answer you.
• 18:48
  SPEAKER_02: Because if they thought Taylor Swift was gonna juggle cats at the halftime show, oh boy, people'd watch that.
• 18:54
  SPEAKER_01: I suppose that is uh definitely an idea I could choose.
• 18:59
  SPEAKER_01: I just I guess wouldn't want her to be disappointed in her fans if they suddenly think that she can juggle cats and then they go to her concert and it's just three hours of singing and dancing and no cat juggling.
• 19:13
  SPEAKER_03: Not a single cat.
• 19:15
  SPEAKER_03: You probably want to choose somebody that isn't quite as famous like Joey Heterton.
• 19:20
  SPEAKER_03: If you maybe if you sign at Joey Heterton, at least some of the people who might be involved in the Super Bowl might read that and they'd be more interested.
• 19:28
  SPEAKER_03: Just spitballing here.
• 19:29
  SPEAKER_01: Who is Joey Hetherton, though?
• 19:32
  SPEAKER_01: I still don't know who that is.
• 19:36
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, oh, but I digress.
• 19:38
  SPEAKER_01: Joe Lis Heatherton.
• 19:40
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, okay.
• 19:41
  SPEAKER_01: I I suppose I'll have to figure out on the Google about the Joey Hetherton.
• 19:49
  SPEAKER_01: Siri! She never answers me.
• 19:52
  SPEAKER_02: You know, and when she answers, if you ask Siri about Joey Heterton, she'll probably give you information about the hours of Heathrow Airport.
• 20:01
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, it's just I don't know.
• 20:02
  SPEAKER_02: You know, I don't get it.
• 20:03
  SPEAKER_00: Siri, tell me about the Heathrow Heathert, Joey.
• 20:08
  SPEAKER_00: Siri! Oh no, she's not answering.
• 20:11
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, now you're gonna get some cat information, I bet.
• 20:14
  SPEAKER_03: That one was good.
• 20:15
  SPEAKER_03: One more question about performances.
• 20:17
  SPEAKER_03: So it sounds like you're not doing a lot of public performances, but do you do private performances um as well, like on request or oh yes, you know, I I try to get down to Juanra a few times a year.
• 20:33
  SPEAKER_01: They love me there.
• 20:34
  SPEAKER_01: I even bring my pet drupples just in case.
• 20:37
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, and everyone gets so into it, and they base bets on which cats are gonna get thrown the highest and how many I could juggle at the time.
• 20:47
  SPEAKER_01: You know, my personal best was nine cats.
• 20:51
  SPEAKER_01: It's still a record, nobody's beaten.
• 20:53
  SPEAKER_02: That is excellent.
• 20:54
  SPEAKER_02: I would have loved to have been in TJ and seen that myself.
• 20:57
  SPEAKER_02: Oh my gosh.
• 20:58
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, yes, it was quite a sight, quite a lot to hear too.
• 21:02
  SPEAKER_02: With them I gotta think that like all good ideas, this is a great idea.
• 21:09
  SPEAKER_02: You have really found an incredible niche here, but like all great ideas, I bet people have tried to copy you, haven't they, and tried to make money off copying it.
• 21:18
  SPEAKER_02: Has that has that happened to you?
• 21:20
  SPEAKER_01: Oh yes, so there are so many fake jugglers out there trying to try to do what I do.
• 21:27
  SPEAKER_01: I am using the quotation marks when I say the other cat jugglers.
• 21:33
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, yes.
• 21:34
  SPEAKER_01: But they they really I just think they give us a bad name.
• 21:38
  SPEAKER_01: I saw one where they put little parachutes around the kiddies to make sure that if they Yeah, that's what I said.
• 21:46
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, that's cheap.
• 21:47
  SPEAKER_01: Where's the tension?
• 21:49
  SPEAKER_01: Where's the tenacity?
• 21:51
  SPEAKER_02: That's like the professional bowling league with those little inflatable things in the gutters.
• 21:55
  SPEAKER_02: You know, no, that's not fair.
• 21:57
  SPEAKER_03: And I don't even think there it makes it safer because you put Parachutes on them, and then you drop them from higher distances because you can, and then that becomes more dangerous.
• 22:05
  SPEAKER_03: You know, the parachute breaks or they're those little chutes don't open.
• 22:09
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I mean they don't open.
• 22:22
  SPEAKER_01: Because you know, that's just the the way it is.
• 22:24
  SPEAKER_01: That's what a real juggler does.
• 22:26
  SPEAKER_01: Which by the way, I uh I don't juggle over hardwood floors.
• 22:31
  SPEAKER_01: Maybe normally, but not hardwood floors, and not on a busy street, a sidewalk, maybe, but not in the street.
• 22:39
  SPEAKER_01: Because I care about my kitties, and that's why I've never thrown one of them over 200 feet.
• 22:45
  SPEAKER_01: I did get one up to 150 that one time, but nothing higher than that.
• 22:51
  SPEAKER_02: That seems fair, and humane.
• 22:52
  SPEAKER_02: Dare I say humane?
• 22:54
  SPEAKER_02: That seems humane.
• 22:55
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, thank you, Dearie.
• 22:57
  SPEAKER_03: And as I'm listening to this, you know, we know exactly what you mean.
• 23:01
  SPEAKER_03: You come up with a a new idea, something fresh and original, and people are always trying to steal it.
• 23:07
  SPEAKER_03: Steve, you know, we continually have to report to the uh online authorities about people who are stealing, they're taking our name, flipping something around, you know, the Jeff and Steve show or the Steve and Jeff experience or the Joe Rogan show, you know.
• 23:25
  SPEAKER_03: And we know that they're not real.
• 23:27
  SPEAKER_03: Everybody should know that, but people get fooled.
• 23:31
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, dearie.
• 23:32
  SPEAKER_01: Well, no one could take your place because you boys got something special.
• 23:37
  SPEAKER_02: Thank you, Doris.
• 23:38
  SPEAKER_02: And that is so true, Joe, um, Jeff.
• 23:41
  SPEAKER_02: But well, anyway, anyway, Doris, it has been a pleasure having you on this show.
• 23:45
  SPEAKER_02: And I think they are gonna kick us out of eccentric Lady Land Studios here in a minute.
• 23:49
  SPEAKER_02: But do you have any parting advice for the for the listeners?
• 23:53
  SPEAKER_02: Any cat advice or any anything that you'd like to let the listeners know about what you do?
• 23:59
  SPEAKER_01: And oh, of course, dear.
• 24:01
  SPEAKER_01: You know, don't be afraid to try something new.
• 24:04
  SPEAKER_01: That's what my advice, something I learned in my many long years.
• 24:10
  SPEAKER_01: It's good to just put yourself out there and let for example, the security parrots.
• 24:16
  SPEAKER_01: I noticed them in the other room, and you know, at first I wasn't offended by them because they were saying all these nasty things about me.
• 24:24
  SPEAKER_00: Like they're rude, they're nasty.
• 24:33
  SPEAKER_03: That's why they're good.
• 24:34
  SPEAKER_01: Well, they are good, and I think they'd be good in a juggling act.
• 24:38
  SPEAKER_01: I think it would be hilarious if I might have to cut their wings off first so they can't fly away.
• 24:45
  SPEAKER_01: But you know, that show business for you, honey.
• 24:49
  SPEAKER_02: You gotta sacrifice to hit the big time, don't you?
• 24:51
  SPEAKER_02: And I really, Doris, feel free to grab some of them.
• 24:54
  SPEAKER_02: Grab all of them if you want to.
• 24:56
  SPEAKER_02: All of them.
• 24:56
  SPEAKER_02: I'm tired of those parrots out there.
• 24:58
  SPEAKER_02: Me too.
• 24:59
  SPEAKER_02: You know, take them all, work up an act.
• 25:01
  SPEAKER_02: We'd love to have you back on the show, juggling parrots.
• 25:04
  SPEAKER_02: That sounds wonderful.
• 25:05
  SPEAKER_02: I'd love to see that.
• 25:06
  SPEAKER_02: You know, Doris, you've been such a great guest that I really think we should get you some parting gifts.
• 25:12
  SPEAKER_01: That just warms my heart.
• 25:14
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you so much, dearie.
• 25:17
  SPEAKER_03: It's been a pleasure meeting you, and I can't wait to see you perform and don't give up on the Super Bowl.
• 25:22
  SPEAKER_03: They need you, they do.
• 25:23
  SPEAKER_02: Either they need either you or more commercials, or more commercials about you, or both.
• 25:28
  SPEAKER_01: I could be in a commercial, buy some kitty litter.
• 25:32
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, you could sell kitty litter, I bet.
• 25:34
  SPEAKER_03: As long as it's not soylent kitty litter.
• 25:37
  SPEAKER_03: Ooh, if you know what I mean.
• 25:39
  SPEAKER_03: And I think you do.
• 25:40
  SPEAKER_02: Wait, you eat the kitty litter?
• 25:41
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, that probably doesn't work.
• 25:42
  SPEAKER_01: All my odd Sundays.
• 25:44
  SPEAKER_01: Take that out.
• 25:45
  SPEAKER_03: Sunday brunch, Steve, if you can.
• 25:47
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, oh yeah.
• 25:48
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, oh, I'll edit that.
• 25:49
  SPEAKER_02: It didn't really work.
• 25:50
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, that'll all come out.
• 25:51
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, yeah.
• 25:52
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, good.
• 25:52
  SPEAKER_02: Johnny, what do we have for Doris?
• 25:56
  SPEAKER_02: Right, Steve?
• 25:57
  SPEAKER_02: We will make Doris's day by sending her an afternoon supply of Appropriation Station's newest product, Pangato Cat food.
• 26:04
  SPEAKER_02: Pangato brings Appropriation Station's world of stolen cultures and cuisines to your cat's daily diet.
• 26:11
  SPEAKER_02: Try their Greek or Italian cat treats, or the South Indian cat treat for that cat who loves spice.
• 26:18
  SPEAKER_02: Pangato from Appropriation Station.
• 26:21
  SPEAKER_02: We took it all.
• 26:22
  SPEAKER_02: And Doris, your cat food will be wrapped inside the home version of the Steve and Jeff show.
• 26:27
  SPEAKER_02: But as a special between meals treat, we're throwing in motion-activated scratching and empty boxes to keep your cats amazed as they play at home.
• 26:36
  SPEAKER_02: Plus, a genuine imitation gold-coated laser pen to wake up even the laziest happy in the bunch.
• 26:43
  SPEAKER_02: This has been the Spade and Newton production in association with Declawed Entertainment.
• 26:48
  SPEAKER_02: Be sure and follow or subscribe to the Steve and Jeff Show wherever you listen to podcasts.
• 26:54
  SPEAKER_02: This is Johnny speaking.
• 26:56
  SPEAKER_02: I'm still hiding out, but for the past week or so, I've been hanging with Steve's mom and her new little baby Steve.
• 27:03
  SPEAKER_02: The Papa vodka and the mac and cheese are great, but she keeps asking me to go down these whole rocking stairs into the basement.
• 27:12
  SPEAKER_02: Something about potatoes in a bag down there.