Latest / Mic Drop Comedy / Nate Jackson Crowd Work Pack_ New Orleans

Transcript

Nate Jackson Crowd Work Pack_ New Orleans · Mic Drop Comedy

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: What is that? Is that your phone under your neck?
• 0:06
  Speaker 2: There's already crackheads yelling out over here. I got to
• 0:11
  Speaker 2: find out who that was. If you near the crackhead,
• 0:13
  Speaker 2: point him out. Don't let the crackhead hide.
• 0:15
  Speaker 1: Who was that? That was like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 0:16
  Speaker 1: Who was that? Where was that coming from? Up top?
• 0:23
  Speaker 1: That was you?
• 0:27
  Speaker 2: There's two of them. Is there a situation in this community?
• 0:32
  Speaker 2: We need some Narcan in this. You got a girl.
• 0:35
  Speaker 2: It's a girl crackhead anime.
• 0:36
  Speaker 1: I'm right here. I said, where the crackhead at? I'm
• 0:40
  Speaker 1: right here. He didn't even know about her. I said,
• 0:43
  Speaker 1: where the crackhead at? She's right here. We're going to
• 0:51
  Speaker 1: do all that. Well, you say, who is that? Point
• 0:55
  Speaker 1: him out.
• 0:57
  Speaker 2: They all don't give a fuck about him. You got
• 1:01
  Speaker 2: the camera? Point that at where they pointing at.
• 1:04
  Speaker 1: You got it? You got it? Turn it on the
• 1:09
  Speaker 1: screen so I can see who it is.
• 1:12
  Speaker 2: Lighten that screen up. I see a shadow, but who's
• 1:18
  Speaker 2: the person that said something? That boy opened up his
• 1:25
  Speaker 2: mouth and started shouting.
• 1:26
  Speaker 1: Look at the white lady.
• 1:26
  Speaker 2: I would like some attention. White lady, sit your big
• 1:30
  Speaker 2: head ass down. I'm trying to talk to Soulja Boy granddaddy, please.
• 1:38
  Speaker 2: Is that a lady or a man? The earrings is
• 1:39
  Speaker 2: a little long.
• 1:41
  Speaker 1: You! You rub your ears. What you talking to?
• 1:47
  Speaker 3: You!
• 1:49
  Speaker 1: All right, let me do this to the people I
• 1:50
  Speaker 1: can see.
• 1:51
  Speaker 2: That's crazy. I can't even see your eye sockets. All
• 1:55
  Speaker 2: I see is your teeth. You spent some good money
• 1:57
  Speaker 2: on them teeth.
• 1:57
  Speaker 1: F * * * ing around in New Orleans. Looking
• 2:01
  Speaker 1: at 23 Savage up top. Let's come on downstairs. I
• 2:05
  Speaker 1: want to f * * * with some people.
• 2:06
  Speaker 2: Now, I told y'all before I even did anything, Tweedledee
• 2:09
  Speaker 2: and Tweedle Goddamn is finna get talked to.
• 2:12
  Speaker 1: Trenton, zoom out.
• 2:13
  Speaker 2: Point at these goddamn chicken tenders right here.
• 2:18
  Speaker 1: Y'all look like dumplings in this. Put them on the screen.
• 2:22
  Speaker 1: Can they fit? Is this a daddy-son? What are y'all? Brothers.
• 2:30
  Speaker 1: Did y'all eat y'all mama? These are the biggest white
• 2:36
  Speaker 1: men I've seen in my whole goddamn life, right here.
• 2:39
  Speaker 1: What is that? Is that your phone under your neck?
• 2:55
  Speaker 2: I'm pretty sure, I just look at, I'm pretty sure.
• 2:59
  Speaker 1: That we all just seen his. Didn't nobody ask for that.
• 3:05
  Speaker 1: That pulled that phone out and his nut dropped and
• 3:08
  Speaker 1: hit the chair. Got some goddamn big goddamn. You don't
• 3:14
  Speaker 1: wanna pull your shorts down? Show his. You don't wanna
• 3:18
  Speaker 1: pull your shorts down? Just do like this. Grab it
• 3:23
  Speaker 1: by the leg. Stand up. Stand up. And pull it
• 3:27
  Speaker 1: back down. Pull it back down. Now sit down. God damn,
• 3:33
  Speaker 1: I got a show to do. Stay right back. Ain't
• 3:37
  Speaker 1: this the best you can do?
• 3:39
  Speaker 2: That motherfucker said, we fly high.
• 3:42
  Speaker 1: You know it. Look at all these. I love it.
• 3:50
  Speaker 2: I like you too, white people, but y'all don't do
• 3:51
  Speaker 2: that when we just did. Now, what's your name? Let's
• 3:55
  Speaker 2: start with the little one.
• 3:58
  Speaker 1: They're like, well, we both weigh exactly two goddamn bucks.
• 4:03
  Speaker 2: We don't know.
• 4:04
  Speaker 1: Who's the little one? You the smaller one of the two?
• 4:07
  Speaker 1: Are you the older brother? Okay, and what's your name?
• 4:11
  Speaker 1: Corey is nice to meet you, man.
• 4:15
  Speaker 2: What?
• 4:17
  Speaker 1: Sir, sit down.
• 4:19
  Speaker 2: Please, I appreciate you, but I got this. He said,
• 4:22
  Speaker 2: I want to know who using that phone.
• 4:24
  Speaker 1: That's what he said. And that's gay. That's gay to
• 4:26
  Speaker 1: wonder that.
• 4:28
  Speaker 2: I'm going to be honest with you, you're not gay,
• 4:30
  Speaker 2: but your question was definitely questionable. Nobody was thinking about
• 4:34
  Speaker 2: that phone no more, except for you, like, that phone
• 4:36
  Speaker 2: had shit on that mom.
• 4:39
  Speaker 1: I wonder who was using that phone, that hot ass phone. Yeah.
• 4:47
  Speaker 2: Which ball is that? Is that both of them? Did
• 4:49
  Speaker 2: you pull them both to one side together? You don't
• 4:52
  Speaker 2: even know, huh? Yeah, you probably don't even got no
• 4:55
  Speaker 2: just like a ball of source rats. Okay, Corey, I'm sorry.
• 5:04
  Speaker 1: And what do you do, Corey? You own a business?
• 5:09
  Speaker 1: What kind of you doing? Like kitchens and like windows,
• 5:14
  Speaker 1: bathrooms and showers. Is that what happened to your pinky finger?
• 5:19
  Speaker 1: You cut your brother's pinky finger off? Y'all ran out
• 5:23
  Speaker 1: of food. He said, nigga, you don't bring me a
• 5:29
  Speaker 1: sandwich right now. I'm going to cut your goddamn finger off.
• 5:32
  Speaker 1: You ain't going to. That nigga ate your finger like this.
• 5:39
  Speaker 1: Now act right. I'm going to eat your balls next.
• 5:48
  Speaker 1: I'm just playing. Tattoo face. Laugh. Relax. That man got
• 5:52
  Speaker 1: tattoos all over his face. Sir, I was just kidding.
• 5:54
  Speaker 1: We are having fun. Relax.
• 5:58
  Speaker 2: So, Corey, how did your brother cut your pinky finger off?
• 6:01
  Speaker 2: That's not a normal situation. And frankly, why are y'all
• 6:04
  Speaker 2: friends again?
• 6:04
  Speaker 1: I don't know.
• 6:06
  Speaker 2: If my hand looked like your hand and it was
• 6:08
  Speaker 2: because of my relative, I'm not talking with them no more.
• 6:12
  Speaker 1: What happened, bro? Doing some shit you shouldn't have been doing. Well,
• 6:18
  Speaker 1: that's obvious.
• 6:21
  Speaker 2: For everybody else with a pinky finger, we were all like, uh, yeah.
• 6:26
  Speaker 2: Could you be more specific? Oh, y'all were little kids.
• 6:32
  Speaker 2: This wasn't last summer. So you got, were y'all big
• 6:36
  Speaker 2: as kids too? Y'all were fat babies? Y'all been fat
• 6:40
  Speaker 2: your whole life? I'm going to challenge y'all to change that.
• 6:49
  Speaker 1: Okay?
• 6:50
  Speaker 2: When I come back next year, I want y'all to
• 6:52
  Speaker 2: be unrecognizably small.
• 6:54
  Speaker 1: And if you're not, I'm going to cut off a
• 6:56
  Speaker 1: finger from each one of.
• 7:00
  Speaker 3: You.
• 7:00
  Speaker 2: Like you've been shoplifting in the Middle East. Okay, so
• 7:04
  Speaker 2: you were in first grade. So you was about six,
• 7:06
  Speaker 2: seven years old? Okay, and so what happened that your
• 7:09
  Speaker 2: third grade brother don't got no pinky now? You were
• 7:13
  Speaker 2: splitting firewood.
• 7:15
  Speaker 1: I don't, I, I, I.
• 7:18
  Speaker 2: A hydraulic log splitter? You held it too long? And
• 7:25
  Speaker 2: so you just saw the little piece on the ground?
• 7:29
  Speaker 2: It folded back?
• 7:31
  Speaker 1: Oh, my God. Do you use it now that you're grown? Yeah,
• 7:37
  Speaker 1: when do you use it? To pick your nose? You
• 7:44
  Speaker 1: ever finger bang with it? You're like... Yeah, you know
• 7:48
  Speaker 1: what time it is. Right, number 10 getting in. So
• 7:56
  Speaker 1: what do you do? You make now? And then what
• 8:01
  Speaker 1: do you do?
• 8:03
  Speaker 3: Oh.
• 8:06
  Speaker 1: You're a priest. How many communions do y'all have a month?
• 8:12
  Speaker 1: You're a priest? At what church? Episcopal? Would y'all be
• 8:18
  Speaker 1: praying over the food down there? You do the short
• 8:23
  Speaker 1: prayers so you can start eating? I know you do.
• 8:27
  Speaker 2: You'd be like, look at God, amen. This is the
• 8:32
  Speaker 2: only in the world to say amen while he chewing.
• 8:37
  Speaker 2: Lord bless what I got in my mouth already.
• 8:43
  Speaker 1: It's nice to meet you. So what was your name?
• 8:47
  Speaker 2: What?
• 8:48
  Speaker 1: Ashley? Okay. This is the biggest Ashley I've ever seen
• 8:55
  Speaker 1: in my goddamn life. What you weigh, just out of
• 8:58
  Speaker 1: sheer curiosity?
• 8:59
  Speaker 3: 400? Even?
• 9:01
  Speaker 1: You're a bold-faced liar. You got on the scale. Let's
• 9:05
  Speaker 1: say 400.00. Around? Yeah, you about stand up.
• 9:08
  Speaker 2: Let me see.
• 9:09
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 9:09
  Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah. Give me a little spin.
• 9:17
  Speaker 2: Let me see if you got, how many a *
• 9:18
  Speaker 2: * you got? That's a big a * * goddamn man.
• 9:24
  Speaker 2: Did y'all drive in the same car?
• 9:27
  Speaker 1: I know people are like, that's a cool a *
• 9:28
  Speaker 1: * low rider.
• 9:29
  Speaker 2: You're like, why do they keep saying it's a low rider?
• 9:31
  Speaker 2: All we did was get in the truck. Well, it's
• 9:34
  Speaker 2: nice to meet you. And we got another big person
• 9:36
  Speaker 2: right here. You guys are healthy out here.
• 9:38
  Speaker 1: What's your big.
• 9:40
  Speaker 3: A * * name?
• 9:42
  Speaker 1: Freddie? Okay. And this your woman right here with you?
• 9:46
  Speaker 1: I like how she got the body language of this
• 9:48
  Speaker 1: is my king. She with you like, this is my king.
• 9:51
  Speaker 1: Whoever phone keep ringing, could you mute this?
• 9:53
  Speaker 2: I mean, I can't keep addressing this old-ass phone. I
• 9:58
  Speaker 2: want to talk to Freddy Krueger. Now, how long y'all
• 10:02
  Speaker 2: been together? I see wedding rings.
• 10:04
  Speaker 1: 27 years. Zoom out a little bit, Trent, so we
• 10:11
  Speaker 1: can see.
• 10:12
  Speaker 2: Them in holiday glory. You got your good jewelry on.
• 10:15
  Speaker 2: I had just bought this yesterday, so I want to
• 10:17
  Speaker 2: have my on. And so what do you do? You're
• 10:20
  Speaker 2: shining like a mother, you got your necklace. Franchisee.
• 10:25
  Speaker 1: What that mean? You own a couple of Domino's? Pizza or?
• 10:32
  Speaker 2: Some of it just be actual Domino's. I got three,
• 10:36
  Speaker 2: two and big six. So you own more than one
• 10:40
  Speaker 2: Domino's location? Is it literally a couple or you say
• 10:43
  Speaker 2: that to keep? A couple is two. So now you
• 10:49
  Speaker 2: on four, you on a couple of couple. And you
• 10:54
  Speaker 2: selling a lot of pizza?
• 10:56
  Speaker 1: Okay, do you recognize either one of them? Wherever they live,
• 11:02
  Speaker 1: they're regulars. Don't even gotta say they order. They be like, hello,
• 11:05
  Speaker 1: it's Corey. They hit an alarm under the counter. Start
• 11:13
  Speaker 1: tossing all the dough! Mr. No Piggy is on his way.
• 11:20
  Speaker 1: Is he bringing his brother? They're both coming. Burn this down.
• 11:27
  Speaker 1: Ain't no more pepperoni in the city. I'm sorry. That's disrespectful.
• 11:32
  Speaker 1: I appreciate that.
• 11:35
  Speaker 2: Y'all ever get in a pool at the same time?
• 11:40
  Speaker 2: Y'all get in a pool together. The water be like,
• 11:41
  Speaker 2: I'm out. You can put them in an empty pool
• 11:47
  Speaker 2: with two tablespoons of water and they're gonna be like,
• 11:49
  Speaker 2: that shit hot as a mother. So you own four Domino's.
• 11:56
  Speaker 1: That's crazy. So you be eating the merchandise, huh? You
• 11:58
  Speaker 1: be testing it all out. Okay. Is there a secret
• 12:02
  Speaker 1: code or something we need to know? No, but y'all
• 12:05
  Speaker 1: pizza prices went up over the years. It used to
• 12:07
  Speaker 1: be like $ 7. 99 for a large pizza. Now it's $ 7.
• 12:11
  Speaker 3: 99.
• 12:11
  Speaker 1: But y'all give us one topping now, though. $ 7.
• 12:14
  Speaker 2: 99 used to be like 13 times.
• 12:17
  Speaker 1: They around to put somebody pinky finger on your. But now,
• 12:20
  Speaker 1: that shit, you like that?
• 12:21
  Speaker 2: That's pretty fast. Usually I wait a little longer, but
• 12:23
  Speaker 2: that pinky was jiggling. I saw it on your leg.
• 12:26
  Speaker 2: So how'd you get into franchising Domino's?
• 12:32
  Speaker 1: You worked your way up from each house?
• 12:37
  Speaker 2: I didn't even know that was possible off of dropping
• 12:40
  Speaker 2: pizzas off. I thought they made sure to pay the
• 12:43
  Speaker 2: drivers just enough to not have a dream. So you
• 12:47
  Speaker 2: used to drop off pizza and a little bit of dough. Yeah,
• 12:52
  Speaker 2: you dropping off eight slices and eight. I know what
• 12:55
  Speaker 2: it is. Mm-hmm.
• 12:58
  Speaker 1: And so you saved that money up, opened up four locations.
• 13:01
  Speaker 1: Where they at, man? Let's get you some business. Monroe. Monroe. And?
• 13:11
  Speaker 1: You building them from the ground up? You own the
• 13:13
  Speaker 1: land too? You got two new properties? So you about
• 13:18
  Speaker 1: to have six of these hoes? Give me $ 300, 000. I
• 13:21
  Speaker 1: usually ask for 100, but he doing real good. Let
• 13:27
  Speaker 1: me get two. Not yet? What about 200?
• 13:30
  Speaker 2: You think you can find that on you somewhere? Okay, well,
• 13:33
  Speaker 2: you guys figure it out together as a couple. I
• 13:35
  Speaker 2: got Venmo, Zelle, Apple Pay, and I take cash. You
• 13:39
  Speaker 2: got four girls? So you need money. You need me
• 13:41
  Speaker 2: to give you a couple dollars. But it ain't for food.
• 13:44
  Speaker 1: Give them some pizza. What the fuck you talking about?
• 13:48
  Speaker 1: Let's slide on down here and talk to I'm in
• 13:51
  Speaker 1: love with a stripper. She riding, she rolling, she holding. Baby,
• 13:57
  Speaker 1: slow dance when we going.
• 14:00
  Speaker 2: Nappy boy! What up, T-Pain? You look bigger than him, though.
• 14:08
  Speaker 2: You look like T-Feel-Good. T-Feel-All right. You look like T-Healthy.
• 14:12
  Speaker 2: You ain't seen pain in a while. This your woman
• 14:15
  Speaker 2: laughing at you right away? I like how y'all got
• 14:18
  Speaker 2: your shit coordinated.
• 14:19
  Speaker 1: Got your light, man. What's up, light, man? All right.
• 14:22
  Speaker 2: I like how you got your scarf coordinated with an outfit.
• 14:24
  Speaker 2: Did you put the scarf on and then she got dressed,
• 14:26
  Speaker 2: or she got dressed, then you put.
• 14:27
  Speaker 1: The scarf on? You just, I just grabbed it. Why
• 14:32
  Speaker 1: did you say it like that?
• 14:33
  Speaker 2: I just grabbed it. But this your queen. She got
• 14:39
  Speaker 2: pink on all the way down to the sandals.
• 14:41
  Speaker 1: It's your birthday? Is that what I see on you?
• 14:43
  Speaker 1: How young are you, baby?
• 14:45
  Speaker 3: 36?
• 14:45
  Speaker 1: I like that. Happy birthday. Happy birthday. And how long
• 14:51
  Speaker 1: y'all been together?
• 14:53
  Speaker 2: One year?
• 14:54
  Speaker 1: You love her?
• 14:56
  Speaker 3: Okay. Okay.
• 14:58
  Speaker 2: I don't know if y'all saw the hesitation I just saw.
• 15:01
  Speaker 2: But that was crazy. I needed you, I'm gonna come
• 15:04
  Speaker 2: back and I'm gonna ask you again and I want
• 15:05
  Speaker 2: you to be more, you know.
• 15:06
  Speaker 1: What I'm saying? Yeah, because you was like, I mean.
• 15:11
  Speaker 1: I with her, but love, so. I just grabbed her.
• 15:18
  Speaker 1: You love her?
• 15:23
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's my little Jazzy bitch.
• 15:29
  Speaker 1: So it's your birthday. We're going to sing you happy birthday.
• 15:31
  Speaker 2: This is the South, so I have a theory that
• 15:34
  Speaker 2: everybody in the South know how to hold a note. Okay,
• 15:37
  Speaker 2: so everybody in the room, except for the people visiting.
• 15:40
  Speaker 1: Because there's people in here from New York and Chicago
• 15:45
  Speaker 1: and California. Clap two times if you're not from New Orleans.
• 15:54
  Speaker 1: We could have did this in y'all's city. We all
• 15:58
  Speaker 1: gonna sing her happy birthday in the tune of Twinkle
• 16:01
  Speaker 1: Twinkle Little Star. For those of you that don't know
• 16:03
  Speaker 1: what that means, this the white version. Y'all ready? What's
• 16:09
  Speaker 1: your name? We gotta know what to put in there. Jessica?
• 16:12
  Speaker 2: I didn't think that was gonna be it. I don't
• 16:15
  Speaker 2: know why, I don't mean to be racist or nothing,
• 16:17
  Speaker 2: but I thought there was gonna be at least one
• 16:19
  Speaker 2: apostrophe in there.
• 16:21
  Speaker 1: It's Jessica. Here we go.
• 16:23
  Speaker 2: Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you.
• 16:30
  Speaker 1: Happy birthday, dear Jessica. Happy birthday to you. Y'all did good.
• 16:39
  Speaker 1: Y'all clap.
• 16:41
  Speaker 2: You got to celebrate life, man. I'm big on birthdays.
• 16:44
  Speaker 2: We could be in the ground. But we up here, alive, living,
• 16:47
  Speaker 2: having fun. So I celebrate birthday. Anybody else's birthday in here?
• 16:51
  Speaker 2: Clap two times.
• 16:54
  Speaker 1: Everybody. Okay. Scorpio! Is that your jiggling lifetimes? Oh, my God. Oh,
• 17:13
  Speaker 1: my God. Ooh, look at this. Sis, do this. Do
• 17:24
  Speaker 1: just like me. Lean forward like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
• 17:27
  Speaker 1: Do what I'm doing. Calm down. Lean forward. Lean forward, okay?
• 17:31
  Speaker 1: Now slam your back against the chair.
• 17:32
  Speaker 3: Bah!
• 17:33
  Speaker 1: Whoo! That's you? Boy, I'm proud of you, boy. You're
• 17:39
  Speaker 1: doing your goddamn thing, boy. Hell yeah. Y'all give it
• 17:43
  Speaker 1: up for T.I. He got his top leg back, leg back,
• 17:49
  Speaker 1: leg back. He got his top leg back. How long
• 17:51
  Speaker 1: y'all been together? Hello? Ooh. Where you counting from? Oh,
• 18:01
  Speaker 1: y'all haven't had that conversation? You don't even have an anniversary.
• 18:04
  Speaker 2: What you mean, where we counting from? From when you
• 18:07
  Speaker 2: hit it or from when you committed?
• 18:09
  Speaker 1: Okay. That's BT up. Let's go from, let's find out
• 18:20
  Speaker 1: when both were. When did you commit? Hold on.
• 18:26
  Speaker 3: Hey, hey.
• 18:26
  Speaker 2: Hey, where the fuck you going? We just sang you
• 18:29
  Speaker 2: happy birthday. You better sit your little musty ass down.
• 18:33
  Speaker 2: We just sang you happy birthday. She gonna wait till
• 18:37
  Speaker 2: her birthday's on and take a.
• 18:38
  Speaker 1: Goddamn.
• 18:55
  Speaker 3: Y'all heard that last one? That's the one that hurt.
• 18:59
  Speaker 3: You'd be like, ooh, I might have to pat that one.
• 19:02
  Speaker 3: I think I broke the meat. Where she got the doo-doo?
• 19:10
  Speaker 1: When you commit, how long ago you committed? Hello? Maybe
• 19:14
  Speaker 1: like two days ago. Why is your answer so slow?
• 19:18
  Speaker 1: Ten years. Okay. That's when you committed. Now, if you
• 19:24
  Speaker 1: don't mind me inquiring, When did you hit it?
• 19:26
  Speaker 3: 11?
• 19:26
  Speaker 1: So you was for a whole year before you was like,
• 19:32
  Speaker 1: you know what?
• 19:34
  Speaker 2: Let's be a couple. Listen, now most people would call
• 19:38
  Speaker 2: that a trash answer, but let's just be real.
• 19:42
  Speaker 1: That's everybody's answer. One year. Who kicked it off? Who
• 19:47
  Speaker 1: was the one on the side of the bed button? like,
• 19:50
  Speaker 1: what are we doing? That was you. You were like,
• 19:53
  Speaker 1: you listen, I'm going to shut this down. If I
• 19:56
  Speaker 1: can't get a relationship, he was like, we go together.
• 19:58
  Speaker 1: You got me fucked up, yeah. You ain't seen a bitch?
• 20:02
  Speaker 1: You been my girl.
• 20:04
  Speaker 2: Okay, so 10 years together. He chased you for two years?
• 20:08
  Speaker 2: That's why he made you wait. When did you see
• 20:11
  Speaker 2: her that you start chasing? You work together?
• 20:17
  Speaker 1: Ooh, that's against the rules. You're not supposed to do that.
• 20:21
  Speaker 1: That's in the HR handbook. You're not supposed to be
• 20:23
  Speaker 1: at work with each other. Okay, where y'all work at
• 20:27
  Speaker 1: when you started doing all that? Lowe's? Just selling hardware
• 20:33
  Speaker 1: for a year. What'd you say? Yeah, the hardware store.
• 20:41
  Speaker 1: And I don't know if there's multiple Lowe's for you
• 20:44
  Speaker 1: to feel like you need to define Lowe's as a
• 20:46
  Speaker 1: hardware store. I'm a little smarter than that. It's your big,
• 20:50
  Speaker 1: tall head. Top of that head. Big enough. And so
• 20:59
  Speaker 1: what's your name? Devin. Devin and?
• 21:03
  Speaker 3: Huh?
• 21:04
  Speaker 2: Maury.
• 21:05
  Speaker 1: Maury. Maury. You hear his reed. Mm-hmm. So 10 years, 11, 10, again,
• 21:13
  Speaker 1: and I met Ed Lowe. Who quit first so y'all
• 21:17
  Speaker 1: could be serious? You quit? So you've basically been leading
• 21:20
  Speaker 1: the whole way on this relationship. Y'all married yet? Why
• 21:28
  Speaker 1: hasn't your big, tall-haired a * * proposed to this girl?
• 21:33
  Speaker 1: What's what? A * * happens? For a decade? Year three,
• 21:39
  Speaker 1: something happened. Year four, something happened. When did you get out?
• 21:46
  Speaker 1: When did you get out? Ten years, somebody did eight years.
• 21:48
  Speaker 1: Somebody did a goddamn bid. I hope you wipe your
• 21:52
  Speaker 1: asses now. She's like, shut up, it's my birthday, I
• 21:57
  Speaker 1: can shit on myself. It's my birthday, I can shit
• 22:01
  Speaker 1: if I want to. Okay, you ain't off the hook.
• 22:06
  Speaker 1: Ten years... That's ridiculous. She said, yes. Are you prepared
• 22:12
  Speaker 1: to take it to another level? Like, you love her?
• 22:15
  Speaker 1: How much you love her? 1,003? Okay. Somebody said, hey, hey, hey, hey,
• 22:28
  Speaker 1: be quiet. Her dude said, don't draw no attention to us.
• 22:33
  Speaker 1: I saw you.
• 22:35
  Speaker 2: We gotta talk about this. A decade is too long.
• 22:37
  Speaker 2: I'm all about love. Fellas, come on now, tighten up.
• 22:40
  Speaker 2: 10 years, that's a lot of, you ain't settling in.
• 22:42
  Speaker 2: You done ate all the food out.
• 22:43
  Speaker 1: Of the refrigerator. Y'all got kids? Oh my God.
• 22:52
  Speaker 2: When I come back and they're skinny, that better be
• 22:58
  Speaker 2: your wife, you hear me?
• 23:00
  Speaker 1: All right. It's ridiculous. Now let me talk to Tuxedo
• 23:06
  Speaker 1: Max down here with the goddamn Sailor Jupiter beard. Could
• 23:11
  Speaker 1: you show this man in the front row on the other?
• 23:13
  Speaker 1: He look like a matador. Ole! Face. Ole, ole, ole, ole, ole, ole.
• 23:25
  Speaker 2: This your woman you hanging on to? Hell yeah, that's
• 23:28
  Speaker 2: Jenny from Forrest Gump.
• 23:33
  Speaker 1: I can't give you no. forest so y'all together you
• 23:40
  Speaker 1: got your hands interlocked and shit i like that how
• 23:42
  Speaker 1: long y'all been together 22 together 14 married hold on
• 23:49
  Speaker 1: wait hold on let me you almost around and found
• 23:55
  Speaker 1: out so you're married now how many kids three by
• 24:00
  Speaker 1: the same by each other Some people put their families together,
• 24:04
  Speaker 1: that Brady Bunch. No blending. Okay, and what's your name, sir,
• 24:08
  Speaker 1: with this crazy beard? What's your name? Rex? God damn it,
• 24:12
  Speaker 1: I could've guessed that. You look like a Rex. Or Trav.
• 24:17
  Speaker 3: Bert.
• 24:21
  Speaker 1: You see?
• 24:22
  Speaker 2: That's Tuxedo Mask. I told you when I first saw him.
• 24:25
  Speaker 2: I knew y'all didn't know, because y'all was like, what
• 24:27
  Speaker 2: the is a Tuxedo Mask? That is a Tuxedo Mask.
• 24:29
  Speaker 2: Go back to the other picture, please. Now go back
• 24:34
  Speaker 2: to him. Now turn your head, look at your girl.
• 24:38
  Speaker 2: Hold still, show the other picture.
• 24:45
  Speaker 1: That damn near spot on. So how did you meet
• 24:49
  Speaker 1: your queen, man? I like love origin stories. How'd you
• 24:52
  Speaker 1: meet your girl? 15 years old in Lake Bruin, Louisiana.
• 25:01
  Speaker 1: I like this starting out good. And so y'all was
• 25:04
  Speaker 1: at the lake. She was with her boyfriend. And then
• 25:09
  Speaker 1: he walked up. He was like, I ain't never seen
• 25:11
  Speaker 1: a little boy with a mustache and beard like that.
• 25:13
  Speaker 2: That motherfucker look like he was born with a beard.
• 25:17
  Speaker 2: So she was with her man. How did you get
• 25:20
  Speaker 2: to her then? You walked up to her stepdaddy? He
• 25:26
  Speaker 2: was like, I'm going to marry your daughter. And stepdad
• 25:30
  Speaker 2: was like, you know what, I believe in you, because
• 25:32
  Speaker 2: that boy ain't she with now. He didn't like you?
• 25:38
  Speaker 2: So you said, I'm out the mirror. He was like,
• 25:39
  Speaker 2: the you are.
• 25:42
  Speaker 1: Is he alive now? They broke up? So y'all got
• 25:47
  Speaker 1: together and they didn't make it? I bet you were
• 25:52
  Speaker 1: laughing like a, oh, look who can't stay in love. Well,
• 25:59
  Speaker 1: I'm proud of y'all for doing this. Y'all love each other, right?
• 26:02
  Speaker 1: You happy? Did you see how affirmative he is about
• 26:05
  Speaker 1: his love? No, look at me, because you was.
• 26:09
  Speaker 2: Look, you was in front of a whole three tiers
• 26:12
  Speaker 2: of people.
• 26:12
  Speaker 1: I'm like, what's y'all? You be like, well, you know
• 26:14
  Speaker 1: what I'm saying, 10 years, you know what I'm talking about.
• 26:15
  Speaker 1: He down here jacking off like, this is my baby.
• 26:18
  Speaker 1: I love this bitch.
• 26:19
  Speaker 2: That's what I like right there. Let's talk to the
• 26:22
  Speaker 2: white man right there, Anderson Cooper. Let's talk to you
• 26:24
  Speaker 2: for just a second. There's a white man that looks
• 26:27
  Speaker 2: a little bit like a bald eagle or a peregrine falcon.
• 26:31
  Speaker 2: He looks like a peregrine falcon. His woman is presenting
• 26:35
  Speaker 2: his bird-like face. And I want to show him.
• 26:39
  Speaker 1: Right now.
• 26:39
  Speaker 2: Thank you very much. Can you turn your head sideways? Yeah,
• 26:44
  Speaker 2: that's selling Froot Loops. That's goddamn Toucan Sam in this.
• 26:50
  Speaker 2: You got a big, beautiful nose, boy. You smell this
• 26:53
  Speaker 2: coming your way.
• 26:55
  Speaker 1: What's your name, sir? Clayton. Goddamn Clayton is in this
• 27:00
  Speaker 1: summer with a little bit of bangs.
• 27:02
  Speaker 2: You comb them bangs to the side, Clayton. I believe
• 27:05
  Speaker 2: white people named Clayton say when nobody's around. I'm going
• 27:07
  Speaker 2: to be honest with you. It's just one of them names.
• 27:09
  Speaker 2: You got an old uncle name.
• 27:10
  Speaker 1: You're white. You Clayton. Clayton Bixby, you know. Do you
• 27:15
  Speaker 1: say it?
• 27:17
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 27:20
  Speaker 1: You don't say it? Your whole life you ain't never
• 27:23
  Speaker 1: said it? Come on now, be real with me. We
• 27:28
  Speaker 1: in Louisiana, you ain't got to lie. You said it, huh?
• 27:34
  Speaker 1: Right when your pinky fell out, you're like, what the?
• 27:38
  Speaker 1: You picked your pinky up like, I'm sorry. That's crazy.
• 27:46
  Speaker 2: I'm sorry. I'm sorry to put you under that kind
• 27:48
  Speaker 2: of pressure. Now, I understand you said no, you didn't
• 27:50
  Speaker 2: say it, and you meant that, you were very affirmative
• 27:52
  Speaker 2: about it, I believe in you, but also, I want
• 27:54
  Speaker 2: you to know, your whole body turned red.
• 27:56
  Speaker 1: And so, based on my experience.
• 27:59
  Speaker 2: With white people up in the Pacific Northwest, when they
• 28:01
  Speaker 2: change colors, that's like a lie detector test.
• 28:04
  Speaker 1: And you definitely have had to say a few times
• 28:06
  Speaker 1: in your life. At least, what about, you don't sing
• 28:08
  Speaker 1: along to the music?
• 28:10
  Speaker 3: Hmm?
• 28:11
  Speaker 1: Play the music? You got anything when you're in it
• 28:14
  Speaker 1: a lot? Gold on my watch. Look at all the
• 28:21
  Speaker 1: bad people. No. Calm down.
• 28:24
  Speaker 2: Everybody calm down. I know BT back there looking for something.
• 28:28
  Speaker 2: Heavy rap music. Anyway, let's move on because it's not
• 28:32
  Speaker 2: necessary to talk about that. But this your woman right
• 28:35
  Speaker 2: here that presented your face? She set you up for disaster.
• 28:41
  Speaker 2: And so Clayton, what's your queen's name? Courtney and Clayton. Aw,
• 28:46
  Speaker 2: look at that cute.
• 28:47
  Speaker 1: Little white shoulder. She's like, I'm a pageant queen. Okay,
• 28:54
  Speaker 1: and so how did you meet her? What's your love
• 28:55
  Speaker 1: origin story? Hello? What just happened?
• 29:01
  Speaker 2: Did y'all just figure out who gonna talk? Y'all didn't
• 29:04
  Speaker 2: decide this in the car? When he asks us, I'm
• 29:06
  Speaker 2: gonna speak now. You tell me, I like that woman.
• 29:10
  Speaker 2: I like that. Speak your, talk your. You were on
• 29:18
  Speaker 2: another guy's street bike. The bike caught on fire and
• 29:25
  Speaker 2: you took her off the bike. You were like, ride me.
• 29:32
  Speaker 2: She was like, with a nose like that?
• 29:34
  Speaker 1: Absolutely. I'm sorry, that's crazy. I know. I know. I
• 29:40
  Speaker 1: know you eat with your nose. That's him. Right there.
• 29:44
  Speaker 2: Goddamn Froot Loops. You ever eat with that nose? I
• 29:47
  Speaker 2: don't mean to be too. You ever just put it
• 29:49
  Speaker 2: in there and stir it around a little bit? Courtney,
• 29:52
  Speaker 2: she said, hey, don't worry about how he get out. OK,
• 29:56
  Speaker 2: let me mind my business.
• 29:57
  Speaker 1: And I was like, man.
• 29:58
  Speaker 2: If I had a nose like that, I'd be with
• 30:00
  Speaker 2: this nose, be honest with you, right today. I'd like
• 30:04
  Speaker 2: to just get in there and hit the nostrils on them.
• 30:09
  Speaker 2: I like y'all, so y'all gonna make it. And who
• 30:10
  Speaker 2: you with, man?
• 30:11
  Speaker 1: You got a chair empty next to you? You don't
• 30:13
  Speaker 1: got no, what's up?
• 30:15
  Speaker 3: Huh?
• 30:17
  Speaker 2: You bought an extra seat. So you didn't buy extra seat.
• 30:21
  Speaker 2: So you just making up under pressure. The light man said,
• 30:25
  Speaker 2: fuck this job. Can y'all see me? Up top, we good?
• 30:32
  Speaker 1: Somebody said, no. Turn the light back on. Somebody just quit.
• 30:42
  Speaker 1: This job. Making fun of my cousin, Pinky Finger. I'm
• 30:46
  Speaker 1: out this bitch. So you don't got no woman with you? Oh,
• 30:53
  Speaker 1: so your babysitter bailed at the last minute and now
• 30:55
  Speaker 1: your wife had to stay back and watch the kids?
• 30:58
  Speaker 1: Why you didn't stay and then let her come have fun? Huh?
• 31:04
  Speaker 1: You paid a lot of money? But it's okay to
• 31:06
  Speaker 1: gift your wife with a good time out and you
• 31:08
  Speaker 1: stay your raggedy at home and watch the kids.
• 31:12
  Speaker 2: Now you just gonna come home musty? You came all
• 31:17
  Speaker 2: the way over, from where? You came from Houston?
• 31:21
  Speaker 1: Okay. I apologize.
• 31:24
  Speaker 2: So you came all the way from Houston with her
• 31:28
  Speaker 2: and then got all the way to New Orleans and
• 31:30
  Speaker 2: found out you ain't got no babysitter and left.
• 31:33
  Speaker 1: What happened? She's still in Houston? You left. No, all
• 31:40
  Speaker 1: your exes live in Texas. Wait till you get home.
• 31:45
  Speaker 1: I'm in New Orleans, Louisiana, and never in my life
• 31:50
  Speaker 1: did I dream that we would have a night like this.
• 31:53
  Speaker 1: Look at all these beautiful people in New Orleans. I
• 31:55
  Speaker 1: can't even fit them on. New Orleans makes them... Thank
• 32:12
  Speaker 1: you so much. Please, I love you.