Transcript

Mirror Island · The Danger Zoo

0:02
Password accepted. Welcome to the Danger Zoo.
0:05
All right, welcome back everyone to the Danger Zoo.
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The Department of anomalous and non human genetic entities,
0:13
Reconnaissance and zoological occult operations.
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I'm Coyote, the game warden, and we're still in hell, not hell.
0:20
Thunderworld. Hey note taker, what happened
0:22
last time? That's you, buddy.
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Who's a note taker? Swear to God, did you forget you
0:28
were a note taker? Thought he that's.
0:29
You thought he You never told me I'm the.
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I literally referred to you as a note taker.
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What happened last time? No, you don't.
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No, you don't. Am I the?
0:37
Am I the note taker? It's it's I literally just edit
0:40
that episode where I call you a note taker.
0:43
Listen, when it comes out, I'm going to prove you wrong, so buy
0:46
it. OK, well what happened last time
0:50
was we wrapped up getting Hazy's soul in putting it into the
0:58
Hulkster's body, but then we had to, like, fight it a dragon.
1:02
So we did. Not fight a dragon.
1:04
We know like. We fought a dragon?
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Hell yeah. No, no, no, like we have to
1:08
like. So we had to go get like a
1:10
spear. Yeah.
1:11
But yeah, Mr. Vayas told us that we need the spear, so you want
1:15
to go Vayas Viagra. So we want to go get the spear.
1:20
Then we play some chess that we realized that most of us are
1:24
really bad at chess. And the pawn won it, of all
1:28
things. Good job Basic.
1:30
That's right, brother. But yeah, we won.
1:33
Yeah, we won. And that's kind of where we left
1:36
off, right? Because the chess that chess
1:37
game took forever. It took 20 minutes.
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That's a long game of chess. And as we're back on the scene
1:47
of the chess board, Hazy's the only one that's still on the
1:50
chess piece, just staring at the spear.
1:52
I think that's where we left off.
1:54
Did somebody grab the spear yet? No, you didn't give us any time
1:57
to. All right, well, mission start,
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get that motherfucker spear. What me is that motherfucker
2:07
right there in my way? Well I mean, we beat them fair
2:10
and square, so you should be able to just ask him and he'll
2:12
let you have the spear. Hey bro, let me get that spear.
2:18
I mean Hulkster, I love you man, and you won fair and square.
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Take that fucking spear brother, that's yours.
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Yeah, it sounded kind of gay. The Hulk of universe appreciates
2:31
it, brother. As it goes to grab the spear and
2:35
as we're doing that, you guys just see this little canoe just
2:38
wash up to the shore next to us. Pink and pretty Kitty's just
2:42
asleep in the canoe right there. Oh, what a nice nap.
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Is he clothes? Yes, yeah.
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What? Did you take his clothes off
2:54
last time? Why am I naked?
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I feel like you need to investigate.
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I mean, we're in the underworld. No, no, I just.
3:02
Crazy things happen. I just, I just wanted to make
3:06
sure. I just wanted to make sure, you
3:07
know, yeah. Like, you know, canoes floating
3:10
around with unconscious people in it.
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Like who knows what type of demons could get a hold of them?
3:16
Like why wouldn't he be naked? In the criminal justice system,
3:20
sexually based offenses are considered especially heinous.
3:22
In New York City, in the Pagan underworld, and there's a group
3:26
of dedicated detectives who investigate these vicious
3:28
felonies. This is the Danger Zoo Squad I.
3:35
Like. That thanks.
3:38
All right, get out of the canoe and you are not naked.
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Hell yeah. Actually, you can.
3:44
That is a pretty that's like a 10 foot Cliff there.
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You cannot get out of there. You stay in that canoe.
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What? No, no, just jump.
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Just jump up. Just jump.
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Hey, just climb. My boy got UPS.
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I don't even know where we're at.
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Oh, we're up here. OK.
4:03
Oh, shit. All right.
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Yeah. You missed it, Pretty Kitty.
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Our residential chess player missed the chess episode.
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We beat this guy in a game of chess and we got the spear.
4:13
Hell yeah, I will attempt to climb the wall.
4:17
Give me an athletics check. 13 No.
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This this is going to. Be if you want to call for help
4:23
or do you want to just risk it for the biscuit?
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I'm going to risk it. 13 is good.
4:28
All right, you make it 13. You make it halfway up, Hell
4:32
yeah. What's everybody else doing?
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Please, Sir. Is he like, is he stuck there or
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does he fall? Now he's just midway climbing.
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So like. Is he being, is he being like
4:44
cocky about not asking for help? Like he wants to do this on his
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own. No, no, no, I'm just like, dumb.
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Yeah, I. So the way I'm picturing this
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right is I'm going to look over to my left and I'm going to see
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him. Like you see those pictures or
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this, the cat videos where a cat's like climbing a curtain
5:00
and halfway up he realizes he fucked up.
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Yeah, that's that's like, that's how I'm picturing this playing
5:07
out. And they turn into a picture of
5:09
Mondays hang in there. And they put it on a behind a
5:11
teacher's desk. Yeah, yeah.
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I I walk over here and I look down and I see a pretty Kitty
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climbing up and I don't say anything.
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I'm just gonna watch. Gumbate, Pretty Kitty gumbate.
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Come hold on. Sure, why not?
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It's just all over the Cliff. Yo, the Isles of Wight.
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Oh no, what are you people doing?
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I don't want to. I'm going to go touch the spear.
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I'm going to go join you watching Pretty Kitty.
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What? You come up with an audience,
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baby. Bird, what'd you say you're
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doing? I'm going to go touch the spear.
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That's my mother fucking spirit. He says Chris.
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You're going to touch Hazy Spear.
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Yeah. You got to touch the spirit.
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Give me a deck saving throw. 6. Hazy Roll AD 8.
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What's that? What I said roll AD 8.
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A5. Hazy Spear does five points of
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damage to you, baby bird, and you are thrown outside the chess
6:18
board. Ouch.
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Oh. You hear what he said though?
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My motherfucking speed. Yes, but as that happens, hazy,
6:27
you feel your hands start to tingle and there's a bit of
6:31
blackness on your fingertips that starts.
6:36
It's not necessarily spreading, but it's definitely like on all
6:38
your fingertips. Oh no.
6:39
It is contagious. Oh my God.
6:43
He's got AIDS. Whoa, sorry.
6:45
That's rabies. He's got rabies.
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There you go. I was thinking neither of those
6:50
things, but OK. I know what you were thinking.
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I was. Like Frostbite?
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I was thinking like frostbite. Yes, it's like frostbite.
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Do you have any strange cravings?
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All right, we're moving on. You guys want to give me a hand?
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Combate pretty Kitty. Combate give.
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Me an give me an athletics role. He doesn't speak German.
7:15
That's not German. I know 17.
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Oh, pretty good. He makes it up.
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Hell yeah. Did he just somersault up the
7:23
side of the Cliff? Wow. 10 for the landing.
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Hell yeah. All right, well, we got the
7:31
whole gang here in the spear. Let's let's get an adult.
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All right, let's get on that boat.
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What? I just came from that boat.
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There's nothing over there. I like how you said we have the
7:42
spear. How would you know you?
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Just you. You were just sleeping.
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You were asleep the whole fucking time.
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Yeah, you know what? You're right.
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Fair enough. I'm going to let our
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intelligence officer decide where we go.
7:59
Now, that's not how this works. It kind of is.
8:03
I will read to you guys. OK.
8:05
So we see five different islands around us, right?
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I don't know how to read. I only see.
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I'm dyslexic, you sons of bitches.
8:15
There. There is an island we see that
8:19
has a skeleton of a leviathan, Huge ribs rising from the storm
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toss sea, forming bridges and corridors.
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The bones still crack and shift. Whispers of the dead cling to
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the Morrow. You guys didn't want to go
8:28
there? What?
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That's all. It's cool.
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Yeah, doesn't it? Why wouldn't I want to go there?
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Then why didn't you vote for? It I want to vote for it.
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You should have voted. There's another island off to
8:40
the West, rustled in chains, rising out of the sea, tethering
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something monstrous in the heart of the storm clouds overhead.
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This island feels like a jail cell.
8:49
You can hear a roar distance behind the fog, but you can't
8:52
see what's there. You guys also didn't want to go
8:54
there. I can kind of agree with that
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one. There's another island to the
8:58
north that kind of drifts in and out of view.
9:02
It's not hidden by fog, but it's like kind of disappears like a
9:05
mirage and back again. You don't want to go there
9:08
either. I.
9:09
Didn't really like the show Lost.
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There's another island that seems to be calling us.
9:16
Hey, we got pizza and beers. Danger Zoo.
9:21
You should come kick it. Oh, I want to go to that one.
9:25
I want. To go to the pizza and beer one.
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Yeah and you guys didn't vote for that one either.
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What you fuck heads did vote for was the island to the east, a
9:34
Jungle Island with storm poles that reflect non physical forms
9:39
but something darker. Oh.
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Cool, everybody get in the boat. Yay, back down the clue.
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Am I in possession of a said spear?
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You are. OK.
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Everybody give me AD 12 roll. 12. 6. 11.
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Fuck 2. Go on.
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Sorry. Should be launched in the middle
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of the fucking. Wilderness.
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By myself. Oh, I get it.
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It's like a clock. Had a girl so this.
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Is like a a RIP off of Hunger Games.
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I don't sure this is a RIP off of Hunger Games.
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Where did? Hunger Games RIP us off because
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they knew we've had this planned, yo.
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While we were this is all planned out fucking.
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Stab all of you joke's. On you I've never seen the
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movies did. You read the books, though?
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No. All right, so we go to get in
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the boat. We try to get out of here
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because we're still in the Pagan underworld.
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We're trying to get, I guess, back to Nob so we can fight the
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drag on with this cool spear that Hazy has.
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Which means Hazy's got to get it.
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Oh shit, the storm. Doesn't strike us necessarily.
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As we're floating in the canoe, it actually starts to howl and
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Thunder and waves crash our canoe, and we're all like trying
11:04
to reach and hold each other's hands and stay afloat.
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But we're all separated, operatives of the dangers who
11:11
brace themselves. But we misunderstood the nature
11:14
of the storm. It's not falling, it's rising.
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I don't know what. OK, we go.
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Oh, I don't know why We try to reach for each other.
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And then we're trying to hold on to the canoe and but the canoe
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breaks apart and we all float to this island.
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We wash up upon the shore. There's a tender moment where me
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and Coyote are floating away from each other and I'll reach
11:43
out for tears in my eyes, screaming no, don't take them
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from me, no. That didn't happen.
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He was probably unconscious and thought he you we're right.
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This is the face of a clock and you landed at 12:00, hazy landed
12:00
at 2:00, pretty Kitty landed at 11, I landed at 10 and baby bird
12:06
is at six all by himself way down there I'm.
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Fucking scared good you. Should be what's happening.
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I'm going to head South. I will also head South like
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directly. South or like towards the center
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South. Towards the center that's.
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Southeast. Yeah, OK.
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You both move about 40 feet inwards to this island.
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Hazy, what are you doing? I mean, I'm going to move
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towards the middle too, obviously.
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Give me a look. Check, Hazy.
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Hey baby bird, what are you doing?
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I'm listening to my surroundings.
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As you listen to your surroundings, give me a
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perception check. 1314 with modifiers as you.
13:02
Sit there, your mustache drips black ecore and your limbs are
13:05
paper thin, bending and naturally.
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What the fuck? Your eyes.
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Are like, your eyes are like drone camera lenses whirling and
13:13
twitching. It's actually freaking you out.
13:16
You're like, Oh my God, what's wrong with me?
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Well, that. Escalated quickly.
13:21
I'm an anime character. None of us notices.
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You can't see him. He is like yards away.
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Baby Bird is so far away our radios probably would not reach
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him, that is. Some shitty ass radios.
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Why? Did it become a frog?
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Did you see how big this island is like?
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Maybe 2000 feet they've been. Thrown around in a storm and we
13:45
are literally in a Pagan underworld our.
13:49
Radios suck on 2 dimensional now.
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As this is happening to you and you start to panic, give me a
13:59
scary puss. Rule 19.
14:03
OK, you actually wait. Is that AD?
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100 yes yeah, yeah shit, hold on. 3031 is that?
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Below or higher than your scary puss points.
14:20
Below. Yeah, you said.
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You were at 31, so this drops you down.
14:28
Take two points to your scaredy puss roll and you start
14:31
panicking. You look in the ocean water to
14:33
verify that what you're feeling on your skin is real and what
14:37
you see in the ocean reflects your creepy 2 dness and your
14:41
eyes turning into digital cameras and you freaking out.
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And then you feel moisture in the seat of your pants.
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Do I hear a shudder when I blink you?
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Do not putting that in the episode.
14:59
That would be annoying as shit having some background noise.
15:03
Just me. Blinking, you hear the shudder.
15:07
It'd be easier to find you that way, I guess.
15:10
Yeah. All right.
15:12
Pretty Kitty, what'd you say your role was?
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It was a 5 for luck. That's not good.
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Take a. Scary piss roll.
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OK. It's AD 100, right?
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Correct. I got a nine, all right, That's
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way. Below your stuff you look down
15:28
into the pool and you see yourself, but you see a better
15:32
looking version of yourself. He moves like you do, he's got a
15:36
full head of hair and he's just got a glorious smile to him.
15:40
But everything you do, he does, and you're a little freaked out
15:44
about It doesn't affect your scary post points, but it it's
15:47
trippy for sure. All right, we're going to just
15:52
keep going clockwise. I'm just chilling on the beach.
15:54
I'm doing a little I'm going to do a little fish fishing.
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Everyone's going to be hungry soon.
15:59
I'm starving, so I'm going to fish.
16:01
Sorry, what are you doing? I'm going to continue South.
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Oh, wait. No, hold on, sorry.
16:05
My bad. Hazy.
16:07
What did you get on your luck check?
16:10
It was a. 18 + 3 so 21 you don't.
16:13
Even take a scary place. You look at the you look at the
16:16
little water here and you look at yourself and you're like,
16:20
it's a pretty dope ninja suit I got.
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I'm just going to be twirling my spear around.
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You're you're twirling your spear.
16:27
All you see in the water is a mixture of Hulk Hogan and you in
16:30
a ninja suit just spinning it around.
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Fuck yeah. Like you're the bad ass in the
16:36
90s movie sidekicks. Nice hell.
16:40
Yeah, now it's your turn, thought.
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I'm going to continue S I'm going to veer a little bit to
16:45
the left. Be a little east, OK?
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Oh, W got you. Oh, you're avoiding the pools.
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Oh, look at you, you big smart man.
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Yeah, you think? You'll avoid me for a long child
17:04
anyways. Hazy.
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What are you doing, buddy? I just had my turn in there.
17:09
Yeah. I I.
17:09
Skipped it the last time. That's why I had to come back to
17:11
you real quick. We're going clockwise.
17:13
Well, I'm going. To skip on down that trail a
17:15
little bit towards the center, All right, follow the.
17:18
Trail do do do do you head around the bend you go about 20
17:21
feet in or 50 feet in. Sorry the the length markers are
17:26
all fucked up for me. Baby bird.
17:28
What are you doing, you 2D freak?
17:30
I pull out my gun. Oh.
17:32
Fuck, that's. Hot already?
17:36
He's going to shoot himself. Let's go.
17:39
And I turn around and face the center of the island and I move
17:42
inward systematically stopping at every tree and peeking
17:47
forward because I'm scared as fuck.
17:50
Give me an insight check. Actually no.
17:54
Give me a nature check. A nature check 40 good as you.
18:00
Look at these trees. The longer you look at them, the
18:03
more digital they become. I opened.
18:06
Fire, OH. No.
18:11
So anyways, I just started shooting.
18:13
Roll AD 12 first. 6 All right. Now roll roll AT20. 18 give.
18:25
Me a damage roll. Oh.
18:27
God, wait. Which gun am I using?
18:31
I'm using my pistol, right? Do you have a pistol?
18:35
I thought you had a shotgun. I had a pistol at one point.
18:39
Whatever. Shotgun.
18:42
Yeah, it's. Because I accidentally gave you
18:43
the wrong stat sheet. D106 God.
18:49
Damn fire Bow S away from the island and you just hear the
18:54
last in the background. Oh.
18:56
Shit, someone shot me. Just as he planned.
19:03
I knew he was out there perfect. But as you're looking at you
19:09
firing, everything starts turning digital.
19:11
The whole world turns digital and turns 2D and it starts to
19:14
become kind of hard for you to deal with.
19:17
Go ahead and take actually give me a scaredy puss roll with
19:21
advantage. Is my ass bleeding?
19:25
Your ass is bleeding. How weird.
19:30
I got a 81 and a 65. You notice like the world is
19:35
changing, but it it only seems to be changing around about 10
19:39
feet around you. The rest of the world outside of
19:41
that is fine, but you better. Stay the fuck away from me.
19:45
But your butt is bleeding. My anus is bleeding all right.
19:51
And then it flashes over to me and I'm just sitting there
19:54
fishing. Listening to the screams of the
19:58
forest. I just hear screaming and.
20:04
Well, that that sounds like they're having fun anyways.
20:06
They're definitely going to be hungry when we get done.
20:12
Trust me, Fiona, you're going to want a chimichanga.
20:17
You better be. Catching anchovies so when we go
20:19
to the other island we can have anchovies on the pizza.
20:22
Oh dude, yeah. Anchovies.
20:24
Pretty Kitty, What are you doing?
20:26
I'm going to try to persuade this mirror image of myself into
20:32
talking to me, like about what's going on.
20:35
So like a persuasion investigative check or
20:39
something. Oh, you.
20:40
Slick song, bitch. Give me a persuasion check at
20:44
advantage. Because you're talking to
20:45
yourself. And I mean, if you're not going
20:47
to listen to you, who will? I got 14.
20:52
With advantage, Sorry. 16. Very well, the better looking
20:57
version of you is like what do you want to know man?
21:02
What, how, how, how? How do we solve the puzzle?
21:09
Let's let's call version A. You could be version B tells
21:14
you. I don't know what you mean.
21:16
What puzzle? We're on a clock, is what I'm
21:21
guessing. Wait, can it?
21:23
I can't. I don't know that, do I?
21:27
You don't. Know that you know you're on an
21:28
island and you're looking at a pool and none of you have tried
21:31
to reach out to talk to each other with radios?
21:34
Yes, Sir. You said they wouldn't work.
21:40
To baby bird and you took a round before then.
21:44
You haven't even tried. Shut up.
21:51
What? Why are you in the water?
21:52
What's going on with that? I am wondering what?
21:57
I've always been in the water. This is where I've always been.
22:01
But none of this makes sense. OK.
22:04
I'm done do. You want to help me out of the
22:07
water? Sure.
22:10
Oh, that's not a good idea. Version A extends his hand to
22:15
you slowly, and when his hand comes out of the water, though
22:18
it looks a bit darker. Not necessarily bad, but I guess
22:23
it's just the difference between light hitting the water and
22:25
light hitting the air. And he extends his hand up to
22:28
you. What do you do?
22:29
I'll take. It.
22:32
He said take it. Give me an athletics check.
22:37
Athletics I. Rolled. 6 Oh, this is going
22:45
great. Yeah, so you got to pull your
22:48
friend out. He stumbles, but he is out.
22:50
Well, that went a lot. Better than I thought it was
22:55
going to go. I thought he was going to pull
22:56
him in and we're going to have to go on his second Underworld
22:58
adventure to save Pretty Kitty. Yeah.
23:02
That's what I was thinking. Oh shit, I got a clone.
23:06
Yep, there's. 2 pretty kitties. There's our version, version B
23:10
and version A Wait A. Minute all right, why is why is
23:15
our pretty Kitty version B? Because version A has a full
23:19
head of hair. Oh shit.
23:21
That guy saw as cool as foot and. 9 inches just so.
23:24
We're clear. I don't want anybody to get
23:27
confused between us. All right?
23:29
How are? How are you going to get it?
23:32
Not confused, How are we? Going to because.
23:35
I don't know. Dude, that's.
23:39
What version a pretty Kitty looks like?
23:43
This is what version a pretty Kitty looks like, heartthrob.
23:47
Dude version a pretty Kitty would fucking would fucking get
23:51
it. Oh yeah, for sure.
23:55
Toddy, what are you doing? I'm.
23:57
Going to head towards the center.
24:00
Move towards the center, give me a perception check.
24:04
So it's going to be AD 20. It's passive, so it's going to
24:06
be +2. +2 you said. Yeah, not your regular modifier.
24:12
It's going to be D 20 + 2. OK, so. +2 that'll make it 6.
24:20
OK, yeah, You're just cool. You're moving.
24:21
You move about 50 yards, you're getting close.
24:23
You see kind of a clearing towards the center, but
24:26
nothing's going on. Do you hear what sounds like
24:28
Pretty Kitty talking to himself, like back behind you?
24:32
But it's real muffled. It sounds really far away.
24:35
That's not. Abnormal, so it's going to
24:37
ignore that. Fair enough, but one of the
24:41
voices I'm pretty Kitty just sounds just oh.
24:45
Wee. Silky smooth, just.
24:48
Dripping in testosterone. Like your your panties are moist
24:53
from hearing it and you're like that's weird.
24:59
Yep, I'm going to have to put this 118 and plus fucking
25:01
YouTube. The story got off the rails so
25:05
fast. Hazy, what you doing?
25:08
Just still swinging that spur. Yeah, I'm going to keep on
25:11
skipping while I'm practicing my Kung Fu moves and my cool ass
25:15
speed I have give. Me an athletic check since
25:18
you're spinning and walking. Hell yeah.
25:21
How funny. Would it be if he lost the
25:22
spear? Don't say that.
25:27
Please don't lose the spear flies.
25:28
Out of your hands and keeps going up.
25:31
Whoops. Oh man and y'all y'all gonna
25:34
love this a 60. OK, you you make it about 25
25:39
feet, but as you're swinging the spirit, you accidentally catch
25:41
your own leg and just fall on your face.
25:45
No, I'm going to look up and make sure no one saw that
25:48
before. Before you get up, you actually
25:52
hear laughter all around you sons.
25:54
Of bitches. Jesus.
25:58
So go ahead, give me a perception check while you're on
26:02
the ground. It's going to be at
26:03
disadvantage. Oh.
26:06
What does that mean you. Roll twice.
26:08
Take the lower number 0. Shit, right?
26:11
And you said a what? What?
26:12
Check D. 20 It's a perception. That's my.
26:15
Fucking perception. Am I blind?
26:18
It's your. Wisdom, OH.
26:21
The one that got robbed from me. Awesome.
26:23
No, Charisma's only got robbed from you.
26:25
Oh. Shit, you need to update our
26:27
stat sheets my guy. Wait, either way, you stole.
26:31
Charisma. What?
26:32
He died. He had to get a whole new sheet.
26:35
Oh shit. I did update the sheets, it's
26:37
the last one that says DCDZ sheets.
26:39
You got to click on that one. Oh shit, my bad.
26:42
Fucking give me lip bitch. Ah.
26:45
Fuck me. All right, Well, that's ten.
26:49
OK, you. Look up and the laughter stops
26:51
and you're like, huh, Must be a sitcom.
26:54
Anyways, baby bird, what are you doing?
26:57
I'm going to keep going north, systematically gun drawn.
27:02
You keep using. That word, I don't think you
27:04
know what it means. Yeah, I'm just running forward
27:07
scared as hell. You're.
27:09
Running. All right, give me an athletics
27:11
check. Gosh, I'm just rolling like
27:16
shit, 369. All right, you make about 10
27:21
feet in and go ahead and give me another Scaredy Plus roll real
27:25
quick. 12 That's out of. The D100.
27:29
Yep, yeah, you're. Fine, everything around you in a
27:34
10 foot radius is still wigging out, but you're OK.
27:37
Flash over to me, I'm just picking something out of my
27:39
teeth. 1 little fish hops up and I'm like almost got you back to
27:44
pretty Kitty. I'm going to have a conversation
27:48
with this dude about where we're at.
27:51
So I'm just like, hey man, so where are we and what are what
27:54
are you doing here? How did you get on the other
27:56
side of the lake? Dude, I don't know.
27:59
I was in a canoe and I washed up on a shore next to my friends
28:03
and they were all playing chess. And then we all got back in the
28:06
canoe and that's when you walked up.
28:10
Oh so. You're just as lost as I am.
28:15
Yeah, I'm just as lost, but I'm better looking.
28:18
What all? Right, you know what?
28:23
I draw my gun. My gun, Oh Jesus as you.
28:27
Draw your gun. He draws his gun as well.
28:32
The other I don't know. I'm I'm going to roll to shoot,
28:37
I guess. So did he.
28:39
What did you get? Oh no 11 this Nat 20 version a
28:47
Kitty rolls blast you doing 9 points of damage.
28:53
With a big iron on his hip. Big iron on his hip.
28:58
For the For the record, very nice.
29:01
For the record, this pretty Kitty doesn't have a sniper
29:04
rifle. He's got a revolver.
29:06
Big ass magnum. Oh dude.
29:09
So the that was a good choice of song.
29:12
It was actually, and I wish you had waited because now it seems
29:16
like I just took the idea from you, but yeah, whatever.
29:19
I'm the mastermind, he. Blasts you and he just takes off
29:22
running into the woods. I.
29:30
Radio we there's there's a nice Kitty somewhere.
29:36
You found a. Cat.
29:37
I radio back. Yeah, I know.
29:40
I hired you. He's a clone.
29:44
He's a clone. You probably won't be able to
29:46
tell the difference between me and him, but you know.
29:49
We won't be able to tell the difference.
29:53
I really. Hope I run into him so I can
29:55
radio like go on the radio and be like, yeah, I know that the
29:58
difference is obvious. You're a fucking liar.
30:03
All right, Tony, what are you doing?
30:05
I'm going to head towards the centre all.
30:08
Right, give me one more perception check actually.
30:11
I kind of hope I failed this one.
30:13
OK, I got an 18 so I guess I just get the opposite of what I
30:16
want. Yeah, you get up here and you
30:19
see this giant obelisk, and in the water around the obelisk you
30:24
see multiple versions of yourself, all their feet
30:27
attached to the obelisk itself. So it's almost like I am the
30:32
obelisk. Sure, sure, sure, sure.
30:36
OK, I'm going to go on the radio and say hey guys, I'm at the
30:40
center. No bad guys here.
30:42
If you guys want to come meet here.
30:44
A radio back. I'm good pussy.
30:48
Yeah. Hazy.
30:49
What are you doing? I'm going to go on the radio and
30:54
be like, yeah, I'm, I'm right next to you.
30:55
But you didn't see what just happened to me, right?
30:58
Oh, you falling? No, I didn't see that.
31:00
Oh. Sweet, I'm going to go skip it
31:02
along the rest of the way. When he.
31:05
Fell it actually just the sound echoed throughout the entire
31:07
place and this went hazy. Fell hazy.
31:09
Fell hazy hazy. You make it here.
31:14
Give me a perception role. Perception.
31:18
Oh, that's not good. All right, let's see.
31:22
Oh God, our 5 as you. Look into the pool.
31:28
You see a oh God, you see the Hulk Hogan's body with a lot
31:33
less of you in it, but you see the body is swollen like it's
31:37
too large and veins are bursting with black ooze coming out of
31:41
his 26 inch pythons. Oh yeah, brother, your beard.
31:46
Turns to worms and your face flickers between an old, frail
31:51
version of yourself. You know the one.
31:52
That what he looked like when he died instead of in the 90s when
31:55
he was awesome. You're you're like a parody of a
31:58
Hulk Hogan with a bone mask and go ahead and give me a scaredy
32:03
puss roll. Oh, and five.
32:07
OK. That's good.
32:08
Right. That's good.
32:09
Right you. You are not perplexed by this at
32:11
all. Matter of fact, you look at that
32:15
version of yourself and go ahead and tell that version of
32:17
yourself off because you know that's bullshit, and tell that
32:20
version how awesome you are. You have.
32:22
No idea who you're messing with, brother.
32:24
I'm not worried about your wannabe Hulkamania ass.
32:28
I got myself just fine. Get out of here.
32:33
Also Hulkamania ass is sounded. Really hard to say.
32:37
I just kind of look over I hate you and I'm like, dude, you OK?
32:43
Hell yeah. Why you ask, brother?
32:47
You're. You're you're talking to my
32:48
reflection in the pool. Oh shit.
32:52
You don't believe him? You saw your reflection, it
32:55
seemed. Right at the time.
32:59
Crazy as you say that to the really messed up version of
33:02
yourself in the water, it actually just disappears and
33:05
vanishes and now you're looking directly in water and you see
33:09
the reflectiveness of the entire island around you.
33:13
Like it's reflecting trees, the sun even thoughty, but you don't
33:17
see your reflection in it. Oh no, I'm a vampire.
33:24
I'm gonna let me in, baby bird. What are you doing?
33:28
I'm gonna keep moving in. All right, here comes the
33:30
shutterbug. Go ahead and give me another
33:33
athletics role. I like to.
33:36
Imagine the Sound 15. Go on 30 I'd.
33:41
Like to imagine the sounds that baby bird makes when he blinks
33:45
are the same sounds that like Miku makes when she blinks.
33:50
Miku, you can kind of see down the trail the southeast version
33:54
where Baby Bird is, because by the way, he's headed north,
33:56
folks, if I guess we probably should have said that we're all
33:59
heading towards the center of the island.
34:02
Baby Bird bursts onto this little trail way here and he
34:06
looks down there and only the world around him is like 2D.
34:10
But when he looks over at Saudi because he can't see Hazy's
34:14
character because he's kind of around the bend, Saudi also
34:17
looks like a 2D warped version of himself.
34:22
And then we. Flashback to me and I'm just
34:23
sitting there smoking a cigar. Like I've got three poles up,
34:27
I've got like 2 fish over the fire and I'm just like chilling.
34:31
There's actually a vinyl record player next to me.
34:33
I don't know where that came from, but I'm listening to
34:36
Michael Bublé's Christmas Vinyl. And then we switch back to
34:41
Pretty Kitty. Pretty Kitty, what are you doing
34:43
with your flesh wound? I'm going to try to hobble
34:47
myself. Oh, no, no.
34:48
I'm not talking to you, we're talking to a good pretty Kitty.
34:51
Oh. OK.
34:53
Oh, pretty Kitty, a pretty. Kitty A He doesn't.
34:55
Have a flesh wound. Oh, you're right, you're right.
34:58
Sorry, Pretty Kitty B, what are you doing with your flesh wound?
35:01
And then we'll see what Pretty Kitty A is doing.
35:04
I'm going to try to hobble around the to the centre I
35:08
guess. Get that?
35:12
Hobbling, are you? You want to stop the bleeding?
35:14
No, don't. Have anything to stop the
35:17
bleeding with? Do I?
35:19
Literally. Fucking anything you take one
35:21
bleed point God's. Plan.
35:23
What God's plan? Shut up dude.
35:25
If. I take too many bleeds point
35:27
I'll die in like 2 turns so. Stop the bleeding.
35:32
OK, I where am I shot at? Right in the belly button.
35:37
What? I'm dying.
35:42
I I take off my shirt and wrap it around my stomach like a
35:45
tourniquet. All right, hot girl summer.
35:49
I dig it. That's.
35:51
Fucking what? Rocking the tank top as you're
35:55
doing that. Hey, why are your titties out I.
35:59
Hear I hear Pretty Kitty A walk up behind me and I'm fishing.
36:03
He's like, what's up boss? And I don't even turn around to
36:05
look at him. I just go, damn, Pretty Kitty.
36:07
Your voice sounded good, man. Now I'm just catching fish.
36:10
I was like, there's one on the fire for you.
36:11
And he grabs one of the fish on the fire and he eats it and I
36:14
go, oh hey, don't forget to take this.
36:16
And I hand him a little blinking object.
36:19
It's a, it's a tracker for like when we get super lost.
36:21
I should have handed it out beforehand but I forgot to.
36:23
Pretty Kitty A says thank you, puts it in his pocket and then
36:26
takes off. And I didn't even look at him.
36:29
How convenient you might. As well.
36:32
Just kiss him, Jesus Christ. I'm gonna do more than kiss him.
36:37
Oh, so he's all right, but I'm not.
36:40
Did you? Look at him, did you see his
36:42
token? Chisel the jaw.
36:46
That hurts my feelings if. That man was a furry.
36:50
It'd be on. Oh, hold.
36:53
Up. You know what?
36:53
He's a He is a furry. He's the opposite.
36:56
He's the opposite of our pretty Kitty.
36:58
He's not a furry, he's a Dom. Anyways, back to thoughty.
37:04
What do you do? What?
37:08
Well, what are you doing? What are you wearing?
37:11
What did you like to know? I guess since I'm just waiting
37:15
for everyone to make it to the centre, I'm just going to sit
37:17
down and play in the dirt. OK, give me a perception roll.
37:24
Hazy, you give me a perception roll as well. 90 OK, so Hazy,
37:30
what are you doing? What am I doing?
37:34
Yeah, what are? You doing?
37:35
Let's see, rolling right now, that would be a 17.
37:40
Oh, so A16 with a -1? OK, well Thadi sitting there
37:43
playing in the dirt and you're like, you kind of wish you were
37:45
playing in the dirt. But as he's doing that, you look
37:47
over at the obelisk and you can actually see all of Thadi's
37:51
personas in the water as well, but you see that they're sitting
37:54
in the dirt playing like Thadi is.
37:56
However, one of them leans over and whispers to another, and he
38:00
looks at Thadi, and he leans over and whispers to the next
38:03
one, and so on and so on until they're all back to doing
38:06
exactly what thought he's doing. Gossipers.
38:11
Sure, baby bird. What are you doing, Shutterbug?
38:14
I must take pictures with my eyes.
38:20
For the spank bank later, yeah. Who's you doing?
38:23
I'm. Looking at the obelisk in the
38:24
center and I keep blinking really fast.
38:27
Are you moving towards the obelisk?
38:30
Yeah, gun drawn, you walk. Up guns drawn right to the edge
38:35
of the clearing. Give me, give me a sneak check.
38:41
Let it be a one. Let it be a one.
38:45
Let's see 1316 OK, you. Make it up here and hazy and
38:50
thoughty are not aware that you just walked up with your eyes
38:53
all freaking out and guns drawn. You look manic I.
38:58
Scream as loud as I can. OK, hold on.
39:01
We'll get back to you. OK, I'm.
39:03
Drawing in breath for a big scream.
39:05
From when it's my turn though. He's powering up.
39:09
It's. Time on tracking policy. 2
39:13
episodes. Later, I'm over.
39:15
Here I'm actually eating the fish.
39:17
I'm actually making rice now. I found a rice cooker like not a
39:21
walk like a straight up rice cooker.
39:22
And I've actually rigged up, I've rigged up some bamboo to
39:25
where I'm on a bicycle and I'm using kinetic energy to cook my
39:31
rice with this rice cooker. This place is not real life.
39:37
Interesting. Kitty B, What are you doing?
39:41
I keep I'll keep walking towards the center where I hear noise
39:45
coming from. Give me a perception check,
39:47
baby. 14 No 15, sorry. 15 All right, you.
39:55
Head South. You make it to this little
39:56
clearing, but this Nat 20 better pretty Kitty sneaks up behind
40:02
you and chloroforms you. You feel this boner in your
40:07
butt. You're unconscious.
40:11
Good thing none of us were here to perceive that.
40:18
Better pretty Kitty takes your sniper rifle, he takes your hat
40:22
and he puts it on his head so we can hide that he has a full head
40:25
of hair and he shaves everything except for his mustache real
40:28
quick and he proceeds on. Oh shit.
40:31
And he makes it to, oh, actually, you know what he he
40:34
makes it to right at this tide pool southeast of you, not quite
40:38
to the clearing, but he can see the other guys.
40:40
Dottie, back to you, baby girl. Yeah, I'm, I'm still just
40:43
playing in the dirt wing for the rest of the game to get here.
40:46
Hazy. I'm suddenly smelling some food,
40:49
like some somebody's cooking some fish.
40:51
All right, I'm a fat kid, so I'm wondering what the Hell's going
40:55
on with that. Fair enough, baby bird.
40:57
Scream. All right.
41:01
Now you're not taking turns. Just tell me what you're doing.
41:10
I'm not telling you what order to go in.
41:11
You're all here. Do what you're doing.
41:13
Oh. I guess I'm going to take a an
41:16
action to to run at the scream with malicious intent.
41:22
My fingers on the trigger. You scared me, I've been
41:27
character, you scared me all. Right, you run towards give me
41:30
athletic checks, baby bird, give me AAC check, ADC check.
41:37
I don't think it matters because I got a Nat 20.
41:40
OK, yeah, Jesus, unless he gets a Nat 20.
41:43
Yeah, I got. A9.
41:46
Hey, I'm. Going to sneak into the tree
41:48
line because, you know, I have no idea what's going on and
41:50
that's my first instant. Oh fuck, I'm out of here.
41:54
Before you do that hazy give me a perception check real quick.
41:58
Oh, not 20, but with a -1. OK you go to turn to hide but as
42:03
you're walking away from the pool you see 2 of Saudis images
42:08
with their hands reach out and almost grab your ankle but miss
42:11
and then you're poof gone into the forest.
42:13
Ha ha, thought he goes running at baby bird.
42:16
Bam, just fucking nails him. Go ahead and give me a damage
42:20
roll. Thought he 4.
42:23
All right, baby bird, you take 4 points of damage.
42:26
Dying. All right, so take your turns.
42:32
Just go in the same order that we've been going in.
42:34
So, oh, I guess I'll go for Pretty Kitty Handsome.
42:39
Pretty Kitty Handsome comes up and he's like, what's going on
42:43
guys? I turn over my shoulder and I
42:45
look and I go, Hey pretty Kitty, what's going on?
42:48
I'm going to jump out the tree in a surprise attack just like,
42:52
you know, shock and awe. Not really attacking anybody,
42:55
just like jumping out like. First, give me another sneak
43:00
check. Let's see, what's sneak?
43:04
Is that stealth? Yeah, Oh.
43:08
OK, it's a 20. You sneak all the way to the
43:11
other side of the obelisk, on the other side of the guys to
43:13
the West, still hidden in the trees, and bam, you just land on
43:18
top of Handsome Kitty and stand on top of him.
43:22
Give me a give me a melee damage roll.
43:26
Melee damage should be. You hit him, you're just doing
43:30
damage. I got you.
43:32
So D4. Yep, so.
43:35
I rolled a 2 + 2, so 4. You pop out, you land on, you
43:42
land on Handsome Kitty and you knock his hat off.
43:45
You see this luxurious hair just fall off his head.
43:47
He's just like, what are you doing?
43:49
That's not. Pretty Kitty.
43:52
Da da da. I would have got away with it
43:55
too, man, that. Chloroform tastes good, I bet.
44:00
I better run into the obelisk. I'm going to run towards
44:04
Handsome Kitty. All right, baby bird, give me an
44:08
athletic check. Thoughty you just run over
44:12
there. What are you doing when you get
44:13
to Pretty Kitty? Handsome Kitty I.
44:15
Stand over him and I point my finger like an edge from his
44:18
face and I go, Who are you and what did you do with Pretty
44:21
Kitty? Where's?
44:22
My friend. Baby Bird do an athletic check.
44:26
17 All right, Yeah. You were swimming towards this
44:29
obelisk, but as you get halfway you look down in the water and
44:33
there's just a a normal version of you.
44:35
Everything looks completely normal in the water and you stop
44:38
swimming and you just stare at yourself in the reflection.
44:41
What the? Fuck, I shoot it.
44:43
Damn it, all right, give me a fucking DC roll and tell me what
44:51
your AC is. That's a four just blasting.
44:59
In the sky. My AC is 19.
45:02
Eurasia's 19. How are you?
45:05
Are you shitting me? You actually shoot, but you hit
45:08
the obelisk. And when you hit the obelisk,
45:10
all the images of thoughty that are in the water and the regular
45:13
version of you just kind of shake and disappear and you're
45:16
back to normal. See.
45:18
My vision's fucked up. I knew it wasn't real.
45:21
All right, all right, so pretty Kitty, give me saving throw.
45:28
Saving throw if you want it cuts back to me and I'm still
45:31
fishing. I'm just having a good time.
45:32
What is? The what is that saving through?
45:35
Constitution plus AD 20. I come over the radio and I say
45:39
Coyote. There's a more handsome version
45:42
of Pretty Kitty running around. We have him.
45:46
I would stand away from him then.
45:48
No, we're interrogating him. I respond back with five.
45:53
Four 3/2. I scramble away on all fours.
45:58
I'm gonna hurry up and jump. I'm gonna hurry up and jump
46:00
away. Quit shooting the.
46:01
Athletic checks. I got an 11 for my saving
46:06
through. Oh no, I got an 18.
46:09
Pretty. He's back up and he's trucking
46:12
towards you guys. I got a.
46:13
Critical failure. Oh, no, all right, thought he
46:18
just give me a no. Like you're going to sacrifice
46:20
yourself and jump on top of him. Don't whist it, I love him.
46:29
Don't whist it, I love him. And I jump on him like a live
46:31
grenade. Nice.
46:32
Hazy disappears in the trees, and it's just a little
46:39
explosion, nothing crazy. Take a.
46:42
Firecracker. It's kind of like a it's like AM
46:47
80 went off in his back pocket. Oh shit, he's on his back.
46:52
Oh, so I'm I haven't pinned on his back and I'm on top of him.
46:55
Oh. Yeah, like you didn't really
46:56
feel anything. You felt his pants move a little
46:58
bit, but you were kind of expecting that.
46:59
Happens every time as I. Go to.
47:02
Get up after the non climactic explosion.
47:06
I get lost in his eyes and I lean in for a kiss.
47:08
So. He didn't.
47:10
Expect it, but fully welcomed it.
47:13
As you're getting up, his body slowly disintegrates.
47:16
It is turning into dust, fading away.
47:19
Kind of like a Thanos snap kind of his voice.
47:22
Echoes, I loved you. You see a bunch of silver
47:29
pellets that are exploded up his backside and he just turns to
47:33
dust. Does Pretty Kitty see this
47:35
happen? No, that happens and pretty
47:38
Kitty pops up right afterwards and he's like there's a better
47:40
looking version of me Run. I I turn to him with the salm
47:44
look and I go. I know I'm holding like the dust
47:47
in my hands. All right, and that's going to
47:53
end today's episode. Hazy is hidden in the trees,
47:55
thought he has lost a loved one again, Baby Bird is near
47:59
drowning in a pool and freaking out, and Pretty Kitty is
48:04
thoroughly confused. So All in all, pretty standard
48:06
day. Fo SHO.
48:09
Nothing abnormal here. All right, we'll see you all
48:12
next time. Bye.
48:13
Everyone bye bye. Transmission lost.
48:21
Teen status unknown.