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Backpack Heist, Forgotten Manners, Gen X Survival and the Modern Parenting Crisis · All About The Joy

0:00
Carmen Lezeth: Hey everyone, welcome to All About the Joy.
0:02
Carmen Lezeth: This is Carmen Lisette, your host.
0:04
Carmen Lezeth: We get right into the conversation.
0:06
Carmen Lezeth: So let me tell you who is in the house.
0:09
Carmen Lezeth: It is Cynthia Lopez, it is Rick Costa, it is Mario Dawson and his better half, alma Dawson.
0:18
Carmen Lezeth: Welcome to the Private Lounge so just to recap um, in the green room we were having a conversation because Cynthia's had a really bad mother effing week, um, and a really bad day.
0:36
Carmen Lezeth: Um, she was continuing the story and so I started off the show with us just continuing on.
0:40
Carmen Lezeth: So we're gonna let her vent and then we're gonna be in happiness mode, we're gonna let it out, but basically, we do a little recap.
0:47
Carmen Lezeth: You got money stolen from you today at your office.
0:50
Carmen Lezeth: We're trying to figure out.
0:52
Carmen Lezeth: We I'm all in the investigation now.
0:54
Carmen Lezeth: Uh, the cops are involved in her office.
0:57
Carmen Lezeth: Somebody came in and was in the hallway.
0:59
Carmen Lezeth: That seemed somebody that might be a courier or a messenger or something, so no one thought anything of it.
1:05
Carmen Lezeth: But now they're realizing that this person might be an oddity, but they stole stuff out of her wallet.
1:12
Carmen Lezeth: It was a big to do I know.
1:14
Carmen Lezeth: Okay, cynthia, I'm sorry, I just want to give them a recap.
1:18
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: Yeah, that's pretty much that.
1:20
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: That was just today.
1:20
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: That was today, monday.
1:23
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: Of course they started with the layoffs um, I'm okay, my job's okay, thankfully, um, but a couple of my co-workers will let go, and it was just the way that they did.
1:34
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: It was just really kind of messed up, I think.
1:36
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: How did they do it?
1:37
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: So they didn't even wait till like the end of the day or like even tell them before they came in.
1:43
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: No, they waited till like everybody was in their offices, everyone was there, and it was like 1030, 11 o'clock was like they pulled this person into the office and like 10, 15 minutes later, the person comes back into the office crying and she's like today's my last day, like in front of of, in front of other people, and it's just like okay, this is not the way you do things, like you just embarrassing this poor person who's been there for 36 years too oh yeah is this the person that you don't like, though?
2:24
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: not that I don't like her.
2:25
Carmen Lezeth: she's was the older person that we were.
2:27
Carmen Lezeth: Okay, but still it's the way they did it.
2:29
Carmen Lezeth: But it wasn't just her.
2:30
Carmen Lezeth: You said there were massive layoffs right At the hospital.
2:32
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: Oh yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah, absolutely.
2:34
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: And in our department there were three, in my sister's department there were 20.
2:41
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: Oh yeah, yeah, all on the same day day, and it was just bad.
2:47
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: Yeah and yeah, and it's just been crazy.
2:53
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: And I've been doing some work, so much work.
2:55
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: I'm doing the work of like three or four people right now.
2:59
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: So, and then for this to happen today and it's not even friday the 13th, it's thursday the 13th, like, and this happened today I'm like I am, I'm, I'm just really sorry.
3:13
Carmen Lezeth: I just I don't.
3:14
Carmen Lezeth: Even I was gonna cancel today because she responded in the email, you know, when I sent out the link or whatever, and I was thinking about canceling, and then I was, but she said she wants to talk about it on the show and I'm like.
3:26
Carmen Lezeth: So I was a little confused.
3:28
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: I just needed to vent a little, but I needed some joy.
3:30
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: I need some good stuff to happen, you know.
3:37
Carmen Lezeth: I'd get up and tap dance for you, but I don't think that'll work.
3:40
Maurio Dawson: Go for it.
3:52
Carmen Lezeth: Well, so they're doing an investigation.
3:53
Carmen Lezeth: They think they might know who it might be.
3:54
Carmen Lezeth: It might be the gentleman that they everyone thought was a messenger or whatever, um, and that person might have ties to someone else in the office yes, I mean, it definitely seemed like it was kind of a a person who knew exactly where to go.
4:07
Carmen Lezeth: Well, that's what I would say, okay, cause you know what.
4:09
Carmen Lezeth: They went into her backpack and they only took cash.
4:12
Carmen Lezeth: Now, I'm sorry, I grew up in the hood.
4:14
Carmen Lezeth: We wouldn't just risk all that for cash.
4:17
Carmen Lezeth: I would have taken your credit cards, I would have taken some other stuff, whatever little things you had on.
4:33
Carmen Lezeth: Then you have a lot of disney stuff on your desk, huh, yeah, yeah, like I just uh, it was just the cash, yeah, so they just it's just a weird thing.
4:36
Alma Dawsom: So I mean, either way, it sucks.
4:37
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: I'm so sorry, rick, how are you doing like targeted, like they knew, like you said, they knew where to go, they knew and it's not like, like I don't really talk to that many people in my, in my department anyways, and you know what I mean.
4:48
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: It's like I have a mickey mouse everybody I know right, I have like a mickey mouse backpack.
4:55
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: You know what I'm saying.
4:55
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: Like I look like a school kid when I walk in the office, so that's why I think nobody knew.
5:01
Carmen Lezeth: that's why I'm like they just took cash first of all.
5:04
Carmen Lezeth: That's why I was being so mean to you in the green room.
5:06
Carmen Lezeth: I mean, I wasn't really, but I was like why do you have a thousand dollars of cash?
5:10
Carmen Lezeth: No, who carries a thousand dollars of cash?
5:13
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: I'm just saying that's why I was like nobody would know that that you're carrying cash.
5:18
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: That's the thing.
5:18
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: No one knows that I carry cash.
5:20
Maurio Dawson: Everyone knows now.
5:26
Carmen Lezeth: Well, we cash because everyone knows now what we know now.
5:27
Carmen Lezeth: So, yeah, you need to invest in zell and venmo.
5:28
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: Seriously, all of you?
5:28
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: Yeah, no, I usually do, and that's the thing.
5:29
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: And it's like I happen to have cash.
5:32
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: This time, because I usually only use my card I happen to have cash um on me because, um, someone I had lent money to had just paid me back and I was going to deposit it because they didn't have zell, whatever.
5:45
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: And I was going to deposit it because they didn't have Zelle or whatever.
5:47
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: And I was going to deposit it right after work, thinking, you know, I'm in the office, I'm in a secure place, you know no one comes and bothers me, but nowhere safe apparently Tell the truth.
5:56
Maurio Dawson: You know you're a gamer.
5:57
Maurio Dawson: Go to strip club.
5:58
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: Yeah, officer.
6:03
Carmen Lezeth: It was all singles.
6:04
Carmen Lezeth: I don't know they paid me back in singles.
6:13
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: It's not even the fact that they stole the money, it's just a security thing.
6:16
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: You know what?
6:17
Alma Dawsom: I mean Like you don't feel safe, exactly.
6:20
Maurio Dawson: Yeah.
6:21
Alma Dawsom: Exactly that I was going to say.
6:23
Alma Dawsom: It's that part of it.
6:24
Alma Dawsom: They violated your space, really your safe space.
6:30
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: Where I sit.
6:31
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: It's like you literally, when you come in the office, you literally have to go around another desk to even find my desk.
6:38
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: That's why I feel like somebody knew something.
6:43
Maurio Dawson: Or saw something.
6:44
Maurio Dawson: Right yeah, and you guys don't have cameras in the offices.
6:47
Carmen Lezeth: Oh no, the Boston police are in the building when you walk in.
6:50
Carmen Lezeth: Oh yeah, Exactly.
6:53
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: I don't know what that means.
6:54
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: They were very bold.
6:56
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: And where my desk is literally the doctor's office is right next to me.
7:01
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: His door is always open, so it's like this person had some serious balls, because you don't know if he's sitting in there.
7:08
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: There's another office next and the door is closed.
7:11
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: You don't know if anybody's behind that door.
7:13
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: You're taking a chance.
7:14
Carmen Lezeth: I think the person does.
7:14
Carmen Lezeth: They've cased the place.
7:16
Carmen Lezeth: We're like, do do do They've been there before.
7:20
Carmen Lezeth: They know something, because that don't make no sense.
7:22
Carmen Lezeth: Why would you go to a.
7:24
Carmen Lezeth: Mickey Mouse book bag.
7:25
Carmen Lezeth: Right, you can think about that.
7:29
Maurio Dawson: Well, you know what I got robbed in Boston, so I'm sorry.
7:35
Maurio Dawson: I feel like I got robbed in.
7:39
Carmen Lezeth: Boston.
7:39
Maurio Dawson: In the mall.
7:40
Carmen Lezeth: In the mall All of a sudden.
7:43
Maurio Dawson: It's Boston, it's all Boston.
7:45
Carmen Lezeth: Sorry, come on LA.
7:46
Carmen Lezeth: Go ahead ahead, rick.
7:48
Carmen Lezeth: What were you gonna say I?
7:49
Rick Costa: was joking, I was gonna say I was waiting for that.
7:51
Rick Costa: My house was broken into.
7:58
Rick Costa: Um, this was years ago.
8:01
Rick Costa: Mom was still lucid, she had dementia and I I wasn't home and she wasn't home.
8:07
Rick Costa: She was visiting my dad in a nursing home.
8:09
Rick Costa: I was bringing my son back to his mom's house like 45 minutes away, and I had just dropped him off.
8:17
Rick Costa: And then I'm getting a call from my mom and a good portion of that road there's no reception.
8:23
Rick Costa: And she called me right before the reception cut off and all I got was we just got robbed.
8:30
Rick Costa: We just got robbed and I was like what, ma, ma, ma, reception going.
8:36
Rick Costa: I hit the gas, I didn't care, cops, nothing, because I'm thinking she was in the house, right, I didn't know what to think, so I jet and she was in the house.
8:44
Rick Costa: Right, they're going to do something to her.
8:45
Rick Costa: I didn't know what to think so, I jet.
8:48
Rick Costa: And then she was like oh no, I was with your dad.
8:49
Rick Costa: I was like you could have told me that.
8:52
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: But, you got the cops right behind you.
8:56
Alma Dawsom: Yeah.
8:56
Rick Costa: But what they did was they took a rock and smashed a window and then just reached in and unlocked the door and we even have a dog he did nothing.
9:06
Carmen Lezeth: He's so friendly.
9:06
Carmen Lezeth: So much pressure on the puppies.
9:07
Carmen Lezeth: I'm just telling you they're not all gargoyles.
9:09
Carmen Lezeth: You did nothing.
9:12
Carmen Lezeth: You did nothing little Pepe.
9:18
Rick Costa: The worst part was she had put in a locked box not jewelry cash, no, her passport, her American citizenship papers all like legal documents and of course there's going to be some money there's, yeah.
9:34
Rick Costa: Now we have.
9:35
Rick Costa: We have none of that.
9:36
Rick Costa: I called to find out how much was.
9:39
Rick Costa: Before you get a passport you got to prove your American citizenship for her or whatever.
9:43
Rick Costa: And I said how much does it cost?
9:47
Rick Costa: Because obviously it's going to cost something with the government.
9:49
Rick Costa: So I said how much does it cost to get a copy of that?
9:51
Rick Costa: She said, oh, it'll be about $600.
9:54
Rick Costa: I said, excuse me, whoa.
9:57
Carmen Lezeth: Wait, wait, wait.
9:58
Carmen Lezeth: $600 for what For a passport?
9:59
Carmen Lezeth: That's not right.
10:00
Alma Dawsom: No no, no, it's a naturalization document.
10:03
Rick Costa: A naturalization document.
10:04
Carmen Lezeth: Oh yeah, that I can't help you with.
10:05
Rick Costa: So I said hold on.
10:07
Rick Costa: You're telling me a piece of paper not made out of gold costs $600?
10:13
Rick Costa: .
10:13
Rick Costa: I made it repeat it five times so I couldn't believe it.
10:15
Rick Costa: I was like $600 for a piece of paper.
10:18
Rick Costa: So yeah, we still have it.
10:19
Carmen Lezeth: Is that because it's from Portugal?
10:22
Carmen Lezeth: Is it because you have to go to Portugal to get it?
10:24
Rick Costa: Well, I mean she's an American citizen, right.
10:27
Rick Costa: Really, she did all that process.
10:29
Rick Costa: My dad did too, but they stole that.
10:31
Rick Costa: So to renew the passport, that's one of the things she needs, because she wasn't born here and so no passport, no, nothing, so yeah.
10:46
Alma Dawsom: But we ain't going nowhere anyway so we don't care anymore, but at the time it was like mom, why did you do that?
10:49
Alma Dawsom: When you become an American citizen, they give you a certificate, like with your picture, your naturalization number, all of that.
10:56
Alma Dawsom: So then you need that certificate in order to get your passport.
10:59
Alma Dawsom: So then that's what you were trying to replace.
11:01
Alma Dawsom: Was that actual certificate $600.
11:02
Alma Dawsom: That's what you were trying to replace.
11:03
Alma Dawsom: Was that actual certificate $600.
11:08
Rick Costa: That's insane.
11:10
Carmen Lezeth: That's a lot of money.
11:12
Rick Costa: I was having a heart attack, driving in the car thinking you don't, I didn't care about stolen, I didn't care about my mom.
11:19
Rick Costa: Did they do something?
11:20
Maurio Dawson: That's it.
11:21
Maurio Dawson: Like they say, things can be replaced, people can't.
11:28
Carmen Lezeth: Well, clearly not for $600.
11:30
Carmen Lezeth: I'm just saying it's a lot of money.
11:32
Carmen Lezeth: I mean they can be replaced, but it's like $600.
11:36
Carmen Lezeth: That's a lot of money.
11:38
Rick Costa: It's a huge violation and it takes a while to get over that, to be honest with you, really tough.
11:46
Maurio Dawson: But you're going to be alright.
11:49
Maurio Dawson: Juan's going to walk you to work every day.
11:51
Maurio Dawson: He's going to sit by you.
11:52
Maurio Dawson: He's going to look over your shoulder, look at she laughing.
11:58
Carmen Lezeth: He ain't going nowhere.
11:59
Rick Costa: Carmen wins the lottery and none of us can't work my money no more.
12:02
Maurio Dawson: Right, carmen wins the lottery and gives Rick a day off.
12:05
Carmen Lezeth: It's going to be, great, I said half a day, let's keep going Half a day.
12:13
Maurio Dawson: Damn, you got twice and a half Rick.
12:16
Rick Costa: Day.
12:18
Rick Costa: It's going to work somewhere.
12:19
Rick Costa: Talk about it.
12:19
Rick Costa: I got to shut up.
12:24
Carmen Lezeth: Yeah, you know, I don't have an have an experience I mean, knock on wood right now of anything being stolen from me.
12:30
Carmen Lezeth: Um, you know, but we've all been violated in very different ways and, like it, it is your personal space and your safety that becomes the thing to get used to again.
12:42
Carmen Lezeth: Um, you don't feel safe, you know, and it doesn't matter what you do to protect yourself, right, because sometimes you can't see it coming you know, but you will get there again.
12:56
Carmen Lezeth: Oh, no, no, no, you will.
12:57
Carmen Lezeth: I mean you will, especially because you're going to and I hate to say it this way because it sounds like I'm blaming the victim and I'm not but what are we never going to do again?
13:06
Carmen Lezeth: We already know one of the things we're never going to do again is have a thousand dollars in our backpack, like you're never going to do that again, I promise you.
13:14
Maurio Dawson: you know what I mean.
13:15
Maurio Dawson: Can you sell me?
13:17
Carmen Lezeth: and if people can't sell you like, okay, I'm not going to keep harping on the money thing, but that's one of the things you.
13:23
Carmen Lezeth: You know what I mean Like things that I don't do anymore is I do not walk anywhere by myself at night.
13:29
Carmen Lezeth: It just doesn't matter.
13:30
Carmen Lezeth: You know what I mean Like.
13:32
Carmen Lezeth: I do not Like.
13:33
Carmen Lezeth: I used to do that as a kid all the time.
13:35
Carmen Lezeth: I would walk from Forbes Street to Rosemary Street one o'clock in the morning and have no care in the world, not a care in the world, not a caring what what two, what is?
13:47
Carmen Lezeth: it two miles, two and a half miles.
13:49
Carmen Lezeth: Yeah, I would walk as a kid and then I learned a very valuable lesson never to do that again.
13:53
Carmen Lezeth: You know what I mean.
13:54
Carmen Lezeth: And and from that to in what?
13:55
Carmen Lezeth: Was I 14 when all that happened?
13:58
Carmen Lezeth: Um, I, when it's night time out, I don't care if I'm at a party, if I'm, like at a guest house or whatever somebody's home and whatever, and we're having a party and I have to walk to my car, I will ask someone to walk me to my car, and I don't care if it's across the street.
14:11
Carmen Lezeth: You know what I mean.
14:11
Carmen Lezeth: And again, that whole bougie.
14:14
Carmen Lezeth: God, I'm so bougie.
14:15
Carmen Lezeth: It's just right there, thank you, thank you, I'm bougie.
14:19
Carmen Lezeth: I need to be walked to my car, thank you, I mean I was raised that that's a gentlemanly thing to do anyway.
14:27
Carmen Lezeth: You started with.
14:28
Carmen Lezeth: I was raised you know what I mean Like um, but that kind of segues into kind of the differences from being raised Gen X to how children are being raised today.
14:42
Carmen Lezeth: Not to get into the whole parenting thing, but just the whole Gen X thing.
14:45
Carmen Lezeth: There are just things we did as kids that you don't do today.
14:50
Carmen Lezeth: You know what I mean, and I heard somebody the other day get upset because somebody held the door open for her.
14:56
Carmen Lezeth: She turned around.
14:57
Carmen Lezeth: She's like you don't need to hold the door and I was like one of the guys at work held the door open for a woman and she was upset about it and I had to pull her over.
15:07
Carmen Lezeth: She was a potential client, which I hope they don't take her on as a client whatever, but she wasn't a client for me because that would have been done.
15:15
Carmen Lezeth: My boss was meeting her and she was incensed that a man would think that she'd want the door open for her.
15:24
Carmen Lezeth: It was interesting and it's a different generation.
15:31
Carmen Lezeth: I think that's weird, but it's also just different ideas of what like she thought of.
15:34
Carmen Lezeth: Like she was I don't know weak or I don't even know what she was thinking like.
15:38
Carmen Lezeth: Why would you get upset about that?
15:41
Maurio Dawson: I can't explain that one.
15:42
Maurio Dawson: I have no.
15:43
Maurio Dawson: I have no words for that, because it's just, it's a.
15:45
Maurio Dawson: It's an words for that because it's just an act of kindness.
15:50
Carmen Lezeth: And it's manners, it's just good manners, you know what.
15:54
Maurio Dawson: I'm sorry, these young people, they really in general do not have manners period.
16:00
Carmen Lezeth: Do you guys believe that?
16:02
Carmen Lezeth: Yes?
16:03
Maurio Dawson: I mean because even with our daughter, we have taught her manners, so she is not the norm.
16:12
Maurio Dawson: Let's just say it like that.
16:13
Maurio Dawson: She's the exception, not the norm.
16:16
Maurio Dawson: You know, please, and thank you, go a long way and a lot of these kids forget to say it now, or may I?
16:23
Maurio Dawson: Or excuse me, excuse me.
16:26
Alma Dawsom: That part.
16:28
Carmen Lezeth: I can't tell you how?
16:29
Carmen Lezeth: Many times people just like walk in front of me or like rub my shoulder, like not rub, push my shoulder.
16:35
Carmen Lezeth: I'll say it, Excuse me.
16:40
Alma Dawsom: At the happiest place on Earth.
16:42
Alma Dawsom: I will stand right there and people are coming and I will stand and look at them.
16:46
Alma Dawsom: Then they finally catch a clue and they'll go around.
16:52
Alma Dawsom: I'm not loving it.
16:55
Carmen Lezeth: You're talking about Disney?
16:57
Carmen Lezeth: Isn't that like the capital?
16:58
Maurio Dawson: of the continent.
16:59
Maurio Dawson: People are rude.
17:00
Maurio Dawson: People are people everywhere.
17:02
Alma Dawsom: Oh yeah.
17:04
Maurio Dawson: Do you think people are?
17:05
Carmen Lezeth: more rude now than they were back in the day.
17:07
Maurio Dawson: No, no, people are rude.
17:09
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: That's about the same.
17:12
Maurio Dawson: No, that part I won't.
17:13
Maurio Dawson: It's still the same.
17:15
Maurio Dawson: A-holes are A-holes.
17:17
Alma Dawsom: It's a different.
17:18
Alma Dawsom: I'll say it's a different kind of rude they're so rude.
17:24
Carmen Lezeth: People are rude.
17:24
Carmen Lezeth: Someone're so rude.
17:25
Carmen Lezeth: Yeah, I think people are rude.
17:26
Carmen Lezeth: People will call someone called me out the other day because I used the wrong pronoun.
17:31
Carmen Lezeth: I think I told you guys this before.
17:32
Carmen Lezeth: Oh yeah, I used the wrong pronoun and they were like incensed by it.
17:36
Carmen Lezeth: Like incensed.
17:39
Carmen Lezeth: I was like I was like I apologize, I did not know that they go by they them.
17:42
Carmen Lezeth: You know, I apologize.
17:42
Carmen Lezeth: I did not know that they go by they them.
17:44
Carmen Lezeth: I kept saying he, I didn't know, how am I supposed to know.
17:48
Carmen Lezeth: I don't know how I'm supposed to know, but I guess you're not supposed to assume.
17:52
Carmen Lezeth: Oh my God.
17:54
Rick Costa: I don't know.
17:55
Rick Costa: I was going to ask Alma, because you work with kids.
17:59
Rick Costa: You see how they act, do you think?
18:02
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: Look at her face.
18:04
Rick Costa: Manny's all decreased.
18:04
Rick Costa: Yes, most definitely how they act.
18:05
Rick Costa: Look at her face, manners are decreased?
18:08
Alma Dawsom: Yes, most definitely.
18:09
Alma Dawsom: But see, if you come into my space, you're going to have manners or you will not get served, basically, so you walk in.
18:17
Alma Dawsom: It's a good morning, it's hello, it's please, it's thank you, and we start that the minute they walk through the door.
18:25
Alma Dawsom: Not all of this, you know.
18:27
Alma Dawsom: Oh, can I have nope, and I'll stand there and they'll, and they finally oh, good morning, oh, good morning today you know, it's just one of those where it's like no, no, you know so no definitely.
18:43
Alma Dawsom: And then you know, definitely ran into some you know parental figures who are like they don't have to speak, they don't have to, and I'm like well.
18:55
Carmen Lezeth: I'm sorry, People without children.
18:58
Maurio Dawson: I don't know what that means?
19:00
Carmen Lezeth: What do you mean?
19:00
Carmen Lezeth: They don't have to speak.
19:01
Carmen Lezeth: Who don't have to speak?
19:03
Alma Dawsom: They don't have to greet.
19:04
Maurio Dawson: The child does not.
19:06
Alma Dawsom: They don't have to greet anyone, they don't have to say To who?
19:10
Alma Dawsom: To anyone?
19:12
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: So the parents are not teaching the kid manners, they're not teaching them to say good morning.
19:17
Carmen Lezeth: Yeah, okay, wait, wait, wait.
19:18
Carmen Lezeth: I need more information.
19:22
Alma Dawsom: So parents come into the school.
19:24
Alma Dawsom: The parent comes into the school to meet with you, yes, and to say, oh, I, I, um.
19:30
Alma Dawsom: My kid came and said that you made them say hello, yes, I did, I did okay, no are you being funny?
19:41
Carmen Lezeth: no, I'm not being.
19:42
Carmen Lezeth: No, I'm not being funny?
19:43
Alma Dawsom: No, I'm not being funny.
19:44
Alma Dawsom: Yes, I did.
19:46
Alma Dawsom: No, not you.
19:49
Carmen Lezeth: I know you did.
19:50
Carmen Lezeth: I'm saying the parents came in to tell you that the child said that you made them say good morning and hello and that was a problem.
20:00
Alma Dawsom: Yes, oh hell to the no.
20:02
Alma Dawsom: There's no way.
20:04
Alma Dawsom: Yes, oh, hell to the no, there's no way.
20:11
Carmen Lezeth: These are the types of things that we're dealing with in the school setting now.
20:15
Carmen Lezeth: Yes, those types of things.
20:16
Carmen Lezeth: I am shooketh.
20:16
Carmen Lezeth: I swear to God, I am shooketh.
20:18
Alma Dawsom: It's because it's kids having kids.
20:21
Maurio Dawson: That part.
20:22
Alma Dawsom: Yes.
20:23
Maurio Dawson: And so you are still.
20:24
Maurio Dawson: We have millennials now having kids who are Gen Zers, who are now teaching the millennials not their entitlement, which is now passing down to these children.
20:35
Alma Dawsom: Yeah, they have no social skills and they're teaching their children.
20:39
Maurio Dawson: No social skills.
20:41
Carmen Lezeth: Wow, the respect for elders to me was just not even.
20:46
Carmen Lezeth: I don't even remember learning it.
20:48
Carmen Lezeth: It's like you were born knowing you better respect your elders and you will say good morning and ma'am and sir, and well, I don't think we said, and I'm gonna say this um, it's very for me, for me, for me.
21:03
Alma Dawsom: We said Doña, but what I'm saying is that it's very, very cultural For me.
21:12
Alma Dawsom: A lot of those lines are very cultural and I can tell when it's, let's say, latino families who are born here or Latino families who are immigrants.
21:30
Carmen Lezeth: So let me guess the ones who are immigrants are all okay and their children are well-mannered.
21:37
Alma Dawsom: And they still respect the authority of the teacher.
21:39
Alma Dawsom: If the teacher says I'm going to call your mom, oh, those kids are like besides themselves, like no sorry, yes.
21:46
Alma Dawsom: And the generations like myself who were born here and now have there, that that level of respect, that level of you know is not, is no longer.
22:01
Carmen Lezeth: It's very American to be.
22:02
Carmen Lezeth: I don't know what it is and you know I'm not a parent, it's just what I see.
22:07
Carmen Lezeth: This thing about being friends with your children seems to be a very common American thing.
22:14
Carmen Lezeth: Like it don't matter what age they are.
22:16
Carmen Lezeth: Like we're going to negotiate and we're going to have a conversation about why you stole that piece of candy when I told you you couldn't have it.
22:28
Alma Dawsom: And I'm like no, back in.
22:30
Alma Dawsom: And you're gonna go and you're gonna tell them I'm so sorry, I took this and you're, you know it's like no, I'm not gonna let you take it with you.
22:39
Alma Dawsom: No, we're gonna go back in.
22:40
Alma Dawsom: We're not having a conversation.
22:41
Alma Dawsom: I told you'll be fine, you cannot have this and you're gonna march yourself back and you're gonna go put it back.
22:49
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: Do you ever get the ones that are like I'm sorry I took this, but can I still have it?
22:54
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: No, You're not sorry, are you?
23:03
Carmen Lezeth: I don't get that whole thing.
23:04
Carmen Lezeth: I don't remember.
23:05
Carmen Lezeth: I know you guys are going to laugh, but I really was a very quiet kind of shy kid, except when it came to performing.
23:10
Carmen Lezeth: I know you guys are going to laugh, but I really was a very quiet kind of shy kid, except when it came to performing.
23:13
Carmen Lezeth: I just you know what I mean.
23:14
Carmen Lezeth: I know, I know it's incredible, it's true, I was lovely.
23:22
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: I know you were.
23:25
Carmen Lezeth: No no, it's true, I was a pretty quiet kid because I was always out of sorts, right, I was always out of place.
23:31
Carmen Lezeth: I was always um.
23:33
Carmen Lezeth: This is after my mother died, but even before I mean I was really young, even before I was just, you know, I was a good kid, but I don't ever.
23:42
Carmen Lezeth: I was afraid of adults.
23:44
Carmen Lezeth: I was afraid of getting either hit or dismissed or pushed away or whatever Cause.
23:49
Carmen Lezeth: You always wanted your, your parents and your elders to be proud of you, to think well of you to.
23:55
Carmen Lezeth: You know what I mean.
23:56
Carmen Lezeth: So, but now I feel like kids have a weird resentment towards their parents.
24:02
Carmen Lezeth: I don't know if resentment's the right word, but, like some, it's weird.
24:05
Carmen Lezeth: It's just a weird dynamic.
24:08
Alma Dawsom: I think that I understand what you're saying, but I think that you know how they say you go to extremes.
24:16
Alma Dawsom: I think that we've taught this, this younger generation, to love themselves and that only their opinion matters and only what they think of themselves matters.
24:25
Alma Dawsom: And so then you know, and they've invalidated that external need for validation.
24:33
Alma Dawsom: I'll say it, but it really so.
24:35
Alma Dawsom: I understand that part of it.
24:38
Alma Dawsom: You're not going to base your value on external validation, but it's not.
24:42
Alma Dawsom: But it's like the respect went out the window along.
24:47
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: It's like it becomes.
24:48
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: It has now become an entitlement.
24:49
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: Exactly, exactly.
24:52
Rick Costa: I saw a really funny video of and I'm sure every culture probably has their version of it, but it was American versus Portuguese parents, and so the father coming into the kid's room, American first.
25:03
Rick Costa: Hey honey, dinner's ready.
25:05
Rick Costa: Come on, let's go eat.
25:07
Rick Costa: We're going to go eat now.
25:08
Rick Costa: I made your favorite spaghetti and meatballs.
25:10
Rick Costa: Oh, you don't like spaghetti and meatballs.
25:16
Rick Costa: Oh, I'm sorry, what do you want?
25:17
Rick Costa: What do you want?
25:17
Rick Costa: Um, oh, you want chinese.
25:18
Rick Costa: Sure, I'll order around, no, problem.
25:19
Rick Costa: Then it switches to portuguese.
25:20
Rick Costa: Hey, stop playing that stupid game.
25:22
Rick Costa: Come on, we're gonna eat what you mean, what we're gonna eat, no matter what you want, if you don't want to eat it, then you ain't gonna eat nothing.
25:26
Maurio Dawson: Come on, let's go, that's right that's that, that's cultural too, because that's us too.
25:32
Maurio Dawson: But I was telling when you guys were talking I was thinking about my mother would always say she could tell the difference between a city child and a Southern child and how they were raised and their manners.
25:48
Maurio Dawson: And you would always.
25:50
Maurio Dawson: My mother says she can always look at someone and say, oh, their parents are from the South.
25:55
Maurio Dawson: I said how do you know that, Because that mom will put them in check right there on the spot and they say yes, ma'am, and no ma'am, and they say please and thank you, and they get up and open the door or they'll get up and do something.
26:08
Maurio Dawson: My mother says it all the time, but even culturally.
26:11
Maurio Dawson: She said, but I said, mom, they're from Chicago.
26:17
Maurio Dawson: Yeah, but I bet you their mama was from Arkansas.
26:19
Carmen Lezeth: See, I've heard it differently.
26:21
Carmen Lezeth: I've heard you can always tell a rich kid or a poor kid, right, poor kids are always well-mannered.
26:30
Carmen Lezeth: At least back in the day, when we were growing up, you know what I mean, like poor kids always had good manners when they were outside of their own area, especially messing around, we didn't have nothing.
26:38
Carmen Lezeth: And I mean I remember we had to wear a uniform to go to school and we and I only had one white shirt and one uniform jumper.
26:46
Carmen Lezeth: Remember Cynthia?
26:47
Carmen Lezeth: Oh my God, yeah, it's those ugly things, ugly, ugly cat school girl, plaid crap things or whatever, and we would have to wash it and then the more it'd still be wet and my mother would make us iron it so you could kind of get it dry, it, to dry it out, and it'd still be kind of
27:04
Carmen Lezeth: damp but it'd have that nice little crease in the white right there.
27:08
Carmen Lezeth: You know what I mean.
27:09
Carmen Lezeth: It was chilly but it was clean and you were proper, you know, and that's yeah.
27:16
Carmen Lezeth: So it's kind of the same thing, the whole south thing on and city kid, but it's also, uh, poor kids, at least where I was going up, we had manners.
27:23
Carmen Lezeth: Yeah, you would get the chunk man, you would get it upside the head like well, now I need you to go in the sit out or what do they call it.
27:33
Carmen Lezeth: Go sit in the time out, time out, I know, but my friends would be like I was on a time out, a time out.
27:40
Carmen Lezeth: I would have been grateful for a motherfucking time out.
27:43
Carmen Lezeth: Are you kidding me.
27:45
Carmen Lezeth: I had to go to my room and read, okay go to your room.
27:49
Rick Costa: Thank you, I would have been so.
27:51
Carmen Lezeth: I used to love when my friends are like Okay, thank you.
27:53
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: I would have been.
27:54
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: I used to love when my friends are like oh sorry, I can't go out, I'm grounded.
27:58
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: I was like what does grounded mean?
27:59
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: I didn't know what grounded was.
28:02
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: If you did something bad, you were getting spanked, or like getting something taken away.
28:06
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: I got both.
28:08
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: You have both yeah.
28:10
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: I got both.
28:15
Carmen Lezeth: Yeah, I never got hit.
28:16
Carmen Lezeth: I only only got hit once.
28:16
Carmen Lezeth: It wasn't about my mother, but, um, but my mother would do that.
28:18
Carmen Lezeth: Look, and that's what I'm saying a disappointment, but like the fierce like.
28:24
Carmen Lezeth: And you knew you were in trouble, you know, you knew you did something bad and your whole shoulders would just like this you'd be, be like you would just feel horrible and there was none of this stuff.
28:35
Carmen Lezeth: Like a day later Cause I remember watching the Huxtables right, the Cosby show being like I wish it was like that what I said a day later, please no, no, I'm just saying do you remember like watching the cosby show and like they would get mad at the kids or whatever, and then they would go and have a conversation of what they did wrong and did you learn your list and blah, blah.
29:01
Carmen Lezeth: That'd be like I wish it was like that.
29:03
Carmen Lezeth: No, it'd be like a day later, you still be in trouble.
29:05
Carmen Lezeth: A day later, you still feel like shit.
29:07
Carmen Lezeth: You know what I mean.
29:08
Carmen Lezeth: A day later, and you, your mom would never come.
29:11
Carmen Lezeth: My mother would never come up and give me a hug and be like it's okay, baby, I understand Never that never happened.
29:18
Alma Dawsom: So I will say that I was a combination of both.
29:24
Alma Dawsom: I definitely got, I definitely got her.
29:29
Alma Dawsom: I mean, she'll tell you herself, I got her.
29:31
Alma Dawsom: I mean she'll tell you herself, I got her we got her who.
29:34
Alma Dawsom: Our daughter.
29:36
Alma Dawsom: She definitely got spanked, Definitely got spanked.
29:40
Alma Dawsom: I think the favorite thing that we ever did was one time she wanted that DS, you know that handheld Nintendo.
29:48
Alma Dawsom: Oh, she wanted it bad for her birthday, she wanted it.
29:50
Alma Dawsom: Oh, my birthday, she wanted it, oh, my goodness.
29:53
Alma Dawsom: So we did it.
29:54
Alma Dawsom: We got it.
29:55
Alma Dawsom: We got it for her.
29:56
Alma Dawsom: No, we got it for Christmas.
29:57
Rick Costa: It was Christmas time.
29:57
Rick Costa: It was supposed to be Christmas.
29:58
Rick Costa: We got it for.
29:59
Maurio Dawson: Christmas.
30:02
Alma Dawsom: And it was three stories.
30:04
Alma Dawsom: So it was the landing.
30:05
Alma Dawsom: She would slide down the stairs.
30:07
Alma Dawsom: And we told her you need to stop because you're going to hurt yourself.
30:11
Alma Dawsom: You need to stop because you're going to hurt yourself.
30:13
Alma Dawsom: So then one time she slid and she went head first and hit the wall.
30:18
Alma Dawsom: I mean like she hit the wall.
30:22
Maurio Dawson: And put a dent in the wall.
30:23
Alma Dawsom: And oh, I lost it.
30:26
Alma Dawsom: Of course she was hurt.
30:27
Alma Dawsom: I hurt her some more.
30:28
Alma Dawsom: She was, she was.
30:32
Alma Dawsom: We had to take her to the doctor.
30:34
Alma Dawsom: You know the whole nine of them.
30:35
Alma Dawsom: This was maybe a week before Christmas.
30:39
Alma Dawsom: So then Christmas came and she opened up her gift and it was the DS right the box.
30:46
Alma Dawsom: But inside was a note from Santa that said oh, I heard that you weren't behaving well and that you hurt yourself on the wall, so we're going to see how you're doing by your birthday and you might get your gift then.
31:00
Alma Dawsom: Oh, sure.
31:01
Rick Costa: Her birthday is in May oh that's awesome.
31:08
Alma Dawsom: So then she was I mean, she lost it, of course crying, and then we sat down and we said well, do you know why that happened?
31:16
Alma Dawsom: Yes, you know, and she was able to explain why it happened earlier, though you didn't wait till May, did you?
31:23
Alma Dawsom: No, yes, we did we wanted on her birthday we are cold bloody with it and that's the thing you have to follow through.
31:33
Alma Dawsom: You can do a different style of parenting, whatever, but the thing is you have to follow through and not give in.
31:44
Alma Dawsom: They understand, yes, why they got in trouble.
31:46
Alma Dawsom: But you don't wait a day, you get them on the spot so they understand.
31:49
Alma Dawsom: Oh, what I just did was not okay.
31:51
Alma Dawsom: Then you explain to them why it wasn't okay.
31:52
Alma Dawsom: But you don't wait a day, you get them on the spot so they understand.
31:53
Alma Dawsom: Oh, what I just did was not okay.
31:53
Alma Dawsom: And then you explain to them why it wasn't okay.
31:54
Alma Dawsom: But you don't just oh, oh, no, I know.
32:00
Carmen Lezeth: I was talking back to their parents in the grocery store of all ages.
32:05
Carmen Lezeth: I'm shook by that too.
32:07
Carmen Lezeth: Like kids that talk back, I'm like.
32:10
Alma Dawsom: And you know I'm the one, oh, you, let you let your child talk to you like that.
32:17
Rick Costa: I can imagine your daughter saying what did you get for Christmas?
32:21
Rick Costa: I got this bump on my head, exactly, exactly.
32:26
Alma Dawsom: But see unlike us.
32:30
Maurio Dawson: My mother would torture me, I would get in trouble.
32:33
Maurio Dawson: She's like, okay, I'm going to get you.
32:35
Maurio Dawson: And so she would make me wait like days, and like I'm sitting there looking over my shoulder.
32:42
Maurio Dawson: And so then, what she used to do, she would wait until I fell asleep and I would snatch the covers off and whoop my tie up in my sleep, so I had nowhere to go.
32:53
Maurio Dawson: So then, okay, that's mean no, I know what's going on.
32:58
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: My mom did that to me too.
33:01
Maurio Dawson: See, I'm not the only one.
33:02
Alma Dawsom: But, you got to wait and hear what he did.
33:05
Maurio Dawson: This one right here.
33:06
Maurio Dawson: I got in trouble.
33:07
Maurio Dawson: I knew it was coming.
33:09
Maurio Dawson: I was like, okay, I can't live like this.
33:12
Maurio Dawson: So every night I just started stacking books in my clothes.
33:16
Maurio Dawson: I put books like the soft books, the little foldable books.
33:24
Maurio Dawson: I would put them in my clothes, in my pants, in my pajamas, and I would cover up.
33:29
Maurio Dawson: And so one night I knew it was coming.
33:31
Maurio Dawson: She snatched the covers off and she's whooping my tail and I would cover up.
33:31
Maurio Dawson: And so one night I knew it was coming.
33:32
Maurio Dawson: She snatched the covers off and she's whooping my tail and I'm not moving.
33:36
Maurio Dawson: So she's like what, get up man, get up boy.
33:42
Maurio Dawson: And so she sees me all bulked up, take off your clothes, look at her falling out of my clothes.
33:57
Maurio Dawson: She walked out of the room and she had to laugh she still laughs to this day because I just I couldn't, I couldn't take my mother would.
34:06
Maurio Dawson: She played mind games with me.
34:08
Alma Dawsom: She would just like that's hard, that's's hard she was.
34:11
Alma Dawsom: But she was a single mom raising a young man.
34:15
Carmen Lezeth: No, no, no, I get it.
34:17
Carmen Lezeth: Look, I'm not a parent.
34:18
Carmen Lezeth: I am not judging nobody.
34:21
Carmen Lezeth: I am not a parent, I am not judging.
34:23
Rick Costa: I'm just saying that's hard.
34:25
Rick Costa: I applaud your ingenuity.
34:26
Rick Costa: Thank you, thank you.
34:29
Carmen Lezeth: It was good.
34:29
Carmen Lezeth: How old were you then?
34:31
Maurio Dawson: Eight, and then I got in trouble the next year at nine, because I can't say everything I said, but I cussed out a teacher at nine and so you know, at a Christian school it happened, but no, it was bad.
34:51
Maurio Dawson: It's too blue for the show and so I cannot so.
34:58
Maurio Dawson: I had to put you in the green room because I can't stay with you.
35:01
Maurio Dawson: And so not only did I get in trouble there, that was when they used to swat you with paddles, because it was private school, so I got swatted with a paddle.
35:12
Maurio Dawson: Then I got home and my mother got me again.
35:17
Maurio Dawson: And then it was on my ninth birthday, by the way, and I had gotten a 10-speed bike for my birthday which I had to sit.
35:26
Maurio Dawson: She set it by the front door and made me look at it every day for a month.
35:33
Maurio Dawson: My mother was cold, she was cold-blooded.
35:35
Maurio Dawson: She would make me look at it for a month and she said you better not move.
35:41
Maurio Dawson: I mean that tire, better not move.
35:42
Maurio Dawson: She marked it like the-.
35:44
Carmen Lezeth: She marked it, that's for real.
35:46
Maurio Dawson: I knew that was coming, she marked it and it did not move If I touched it, if I sneezed on it, she knew.
35:53
Maurio Dawson: So she was like my mother was just.
35:58
Maurio Dawson: She was a genius with her punishment because I never forgot them and I never forgot the lesson behind it, whereas these parents don't do that now.
36:09
Maurio Dawson: They're like, oh, sitting in the timeout.
36:11
Maurio Dawson: Did you learn your lesson?
36:12
Maurio Dawson: What was the lesson?
36:14
Carmen Lezeth: Hey, listen, I'm not advocating any, I am not a parent.
36:18
Carmen Lezeth: I don't want to get no DMs.
36:20
Carmen Lezeth: I don't want to get no emails You're advocating hitting.
36:22
Carmen Lezeth: I'm not advocating nothing.
36:24
Maurio Dawson: No, I'm not saying that now.
36:26
Carmen Lezeth: Yeah, no, no, no, no.
36:27
Carmen Lezeth: We're just talking about back in the day how it was, and just the differences that happened.
36:31
Carmen Lezeth: Today, I think there needs to be a happy medium.
36:35
Carmen Lezeth: I think the biggest problem I see as an outsider and I am valid in being able to say this, because I do have children in my life, so I can say this part is I don't know where that line happened, where people thought it was more important to have your kids like you than to parent them, and I think there is a big confusion with that.
36:56
Carmen Lezeth: Like I know, when you're older, your kids become your friends or whatever, because they respect you and they're adults or whatever.
37:03
Carmen Lezeth: But that whole, beginning from like birth to like 21 or something, needs to be you being an adult, and that has always been my problem Always.
37:17
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: No, what I was going to say was that my mom did that to me when I was probably about eight or nine.
37:22
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: I had lied and said that I was at the afterschool program and I was really at my friend's house who her house was literally right behind the school program.
37:31
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: And I was really at my friend's house, who her house was literally right behind the school.
37:32
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: She found out.
37:33
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: It happened to be the one day that she called the school to ask for me to tell me that she was gonna be home late from work or something, and I was not there and somehow found out that I was at my friend's house, called my friend's house.
37:48
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: She answered, asked if I was there, she puts me on the phone, and she said you better get home now and I will see you when I get home.
37:57
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: I flew out that house, ran home, got settled like if I was in bed asleep.
38:06
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: Oh no, that did not.
38:07
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: That didn't work either.
38:08
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: She knew I was not asleep.
38:11
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: She took the covers off and beat my ass.
38:16
Alma Dawsom: I came in on the good part.
38:19
Carmen Lezeth: I'll beat her ass.
38:20
Carmen Lezeth: That's right.
38:21
Carmen Lezeth: I remember your mother, so I I 100% true.
38:27
Carmen Lezeth: I totally believe all of that.
38:29
Carmen Lezeth: May she rest in peace.
38:32
Carmen Lezeth: She was hardcore, though, because she used to beat you guys with the cord and shit.
38:39
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: The extension cord yeah, my sisters used to get that and I got the brush.
38:44
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: I used to get the brush and the chocolate.
38:46
Maurio Dawson: Corporate punishment is not cool.
38:49
Maurio Dawson: I just want to say that.
38:52
Carmen Lezeth: It's not, but it's a different Cultural, different time and you know, we all turned out great, we're fine.
39:01
Carmen Lezeth: I mean, I Never got hit, but I think there's the emotional abuse part of Things that I think is kind of what I've always said this like physical Pain is not really the problem.
39:11
Carmen Lezeth: It, I think, is kind of what which I've always said this like physical pain is not really the problem.
39:13
Carmen Lezeth: It's the emotional kind of psychology part of it that I think messes you up even more.
39:20
Carmen Lezeth: But it's also good, because you need to know rules, you know you need to understand things.
39:25
Carmen Lezeth: I mean and I get it I've never hit a child in my life, nor would I, because they're not my kids or whatever.
39:30
Carmen Lezeth: But I'm not against people parenting.
39:33
Carmen Lezeth: I'm against people parenting badly, which seems to be the norm and not the exception nowadays.
39:40
Carmen Lezeth: So, um, and I mean even kids that I work with, and I say kids cause they're you know, they're Gen Z, um, I think are.
39:48
Carmen Lezeth: There's some parts of them that I love I'm just trying to get my water one minute.
39:55
Carmen Lezeth: There's one part of them that I love, um, because there's so much about them Like they grew up with technology, they're not afraid of stuff, they're very like they have this independence, they know, like they want to work smarter, not harder, and I kind of love that whole idea of you know cause.
40:10
Carmen Lezeth: We're like we'll work seven days a week, whatever we need for our little stupid check every week, and they're not like that.
40:15
Carmen Lezeth: They're like I'm getting paid from nine to five, that's all I'm working and I will do my job.
40:20
Carmen Lezeth: And I love that, you know.
40:21
Carmen Lezeth: But there's that other part of it where I just see how they lack just things like discipline and structure and manners.
40:31
Carmen Lezeth: And you know, like it's not always about you and you don't learn that unless it's always been about you, right?
40:38
Carmen Lezeth: If it's always about you and your household, because you were the little kid, then that's how you're going to behave in the workplace and then get upset when no one gives a shit about what you're saying because it's about a team.
40:50
Carmen Lezeth: You know.
40:50
Carmen Lezeth: No one gives a shit about what you're saying because it's about a team, you know.
40:54
Carmen Lezeth: So I see how it reflects back on the workspace.
40:55
Carmen Lezeth: You know, and I have a couple of people like they won't do things.
40:59
Carmen Lezeth: I'll tell them you need to do these four things or whatever, and they'll be like all right, well, I'll get to it.
41:07
Carmen Lezeth: I'm like yeah, no, no, no, no, no, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm the boss, right, and you need to do this.
41:13
Carmen Lezeth: And if you don't do it, this is going to be another reason why when I fire your ass oh, carmen, you're so dramatic Like even saying that I know they will say that they will say God, okay, I'll do it now.
41:30
Carmen Lezeth: Like these, I'm not kidding, it is, and this is the norm in the workspace.
41:32
Carmen Lezeth: That's why I can tell it's bad parenting, and I'm not just blame, you know, it's the environment.
41:36
Carmen Lezeth: It's a different thing.
41:37
Carmen Lezeth: Like also not winning, like, okay, I'll give you an example.
41:40
Carmen Lezeth: Like we'll give an award, not an award, but we'll give people, like a bonus and say you did such a great job, thank you so much for working on that project.
41:48
Carmen Lezeth: We want to give you, you know, a thousand dollars.
41:51
Carmen Lezeth: Whatever it is, you know it depends you know a little percentage of what the job profit was, and it's not all the time, but it's when somebody does something exceptional, whatever the moping, that happens because other people didn't get it.
42:03
Carmen Lezeth: Instead of finding happiness for that person, the moping, or doing like a self-analysis like oh man, next time I'm going to try to do.
42:15
Maurio Dawson: You know what I mean?
42:15
Maurio Dawson: Yeah, the lack of incentive.
42:17
Maurio Dawson: Yes, it's the lack of incentive, the fact that he's saying you know what Dang they got it?
42:24
Maurio Dawson: What did they do that?
42:25
Maurio Dawson: I'm not doing the self reflection, there's none of that anymore.
42:29
Maurio Dawson: And the lack of accountability of taking responsibility for your ill-preparedness or your lack of incentiveness.
42:43
Carmen Lezeth: It's just no, that's true and and and and.
42:47
Carmen Lezeth: It's a fierce jealousy which I mean we've all been jealous, right, we've all had but the, the fierce jealousy, as opposed to it being about incentive or self-analysis or whatever it is yeah, that part for sure, for sure.
43:01
Carmen Lezeth: So, wow, I didn't know we were gonna have a whole show about parenting.
43:04
Carmen Lezeth: I love this for us.
43:06
Carmen Lezeth: I was not on the agenda at all.
43:11
Carmen Lezeth: How was your parenting, rick?
43:14
Carmen Lezeth: I mean, you're a dad, you're a doctor?
43:17
Rick Costa: Oh, for my son, you mean?
43:20
Rick Costa: I thought you meant me and my dad, because y'all already heard that.
43:24
Carmen Lezeth: Yeah, nothing about you.
43:25
Carmen Lezeth: Your son is a doctor, he's a doctor.
43:30
Rick Costa: From birth I put the fear of God in him, so he became like me.
43:33
Rick Costa: All I got to do is just give you a look and you're shaking.
43:36
Carmen Lezeth: already I can't even imagine you being that parent.
43:39
Carmen Lezeth: But I believe you Right?
43:40
Carmen Lezeth: I don't know.
43:40
Carmen Lezeth: I'm not real in all my.
43:42
Carmen Lezeth: Totally see it.
43:43
Carmen Lezeth: Cynthia and Rick, you guys are nice people.
43:46
Maurio Dawson: I don't know Rick you guys are nice people.
43:48
Maurio Dawson: I don't know.
43:48
Maurio Dawson: I know you're mean.
43:52
Carmen Lezeth: What you saying, you saying I'm not nice.
43:54
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: You can even ask my nieces.
43:56
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: They were like, oh no, cynthia's strict and they know.
43:59
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: They already know not to lie to me, because they already know, I find out.
44:04
Carmen Lezeth: I forgot that you have a facade going on because everyone thinks you're the sweet, nice person on the show.
44:09
Carmen Lezeth: But we've seen your villainous, evil meanness.
44:13
Carmen Lezeth: It's true, I know y'all think she's the sweet one and the kind one.
44:18
Carmen Lezeth: She's not.
44:19
Carmen Lezeth: She's not.
44:20
Carmen Lezeth: I'm the sweet and kind one.
44:21
Carmen Lezeth: Y'all think I'm the mean one.
44:22
Carmen Lezeth: That's the weird thing, ain't it true?
44:25
Carmen Lezeth: It's so true, I'm the kind one.
44:33
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: You're ain't it.
44:33
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: True, it's so true, I'm the kind one.
44:34
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: It is, it's so weird.
44:35
Carmen Lezeth: It is, it's true.
44:35
Carmen Lezeth: I'll admit to that.
44:35
Carmen Lezeth: It is true.
44:36
Carmen Lezeth: But, rick, go ahead.
44:37
Carmen Lezeth: What did you do to make your son be so fabulous and become a doctor?
44:41
Rick Costa: if I said something, I said it once.
44:43
Rick Costa: Now we'll do this and that's it.
44:47
Rick Costa: If you didn't do it, you pay the consequences.
44:49
Rick Costa: You know, I'm gonna tell you again.
44:54
Rick Costa: I'm gonna tell you no, no, no one time, and that's it what were the consequences waterboarding, whatever he enjoys, he ain't doing it.
45:03
Maurio Dawson: I'm so kidding for the listeners, I'm so kidding.
45:08
Rick Costa: We don't believe in corporate whatever he enjoys doing, he ain't doing that now that's it, that's all, and how's your relationship with your son now good, even with that level of discipline?
45:25
Rick Costa: Always, always was good.
45:27
Rick Costa: Just, I mean teenage years.
45:28
Rick Costa: You know it was a little rough because every excuse not to see me not almost sick, I got too much homework.
45:36
Rick Costa: Mind you, I'm driving 45 minutes to go see him.
45:40
Alma Dawsom: Every excuse in the book, but then you know things change teenager yeah, now okay well, I want to touch back on something that you said before about you know people feeling like, because that person got something, they have to get it too.
45:54
Alma Dawsom: It's that participation trophy mentality you know today For real, like, even though, yes, they have this work life balance thing down to a T, but they really don't.
46:11
Alma Dawsom: They do lack initiative, they definitely, you know, lack organizational skills.
46:20
Alma Dawsom: Oh for sure For real real and just the work ethic.
46:24
Alma Dawsom: Ok, fine, you're only going to work nine to five, but in that nine to five, you need to show me what you can do.
46:30
Alma Dawsom: I don't want to be hounding you and coming after you every minute.
46:34
Alma Dawsom: Did you already do what I asked you?
46:35
Alma Dawsom: Did you already?
46:36
Alma Dawsom: Oh, guess what?
46:37
Alma Dawsom: It's a write-up.
46:38
Alma Dawsom: Now Let me go ahead.
46:39
Alma Dawsom: I don't play.
46:39
Alma Dawsom: I'm like, I just don't play.
46:41
Alma Dawsom: Here's your, here's your email.
46:43
Alma Dawsom: We're going to meet tomorrow at this time.
46:51
Alma Dawsom: Here's the paper copy of everything.
46:52
Alma Dawsom: Here's all this stuff.
46:52
Alma Dawsom: And then you're going to go take this class because I need to know that you know how to do it.
46:55
Alma Dawsom: And so then now give me an excuse and don't do it.
46:57
Alma Dawsom: When I ask you to do it the first time, I just don't.
47:00
Alma Dawsom: And it's like and when they find somebody like that, they're like oh yeah, oh, oh yeah.
47:10
Alma Dawsom: I get that all the time time.
47:11
Alma Dawsom: I feel like this is becoming toxic.
47:12
Alma Dawsom: Well, they learned some big phrases growing up and I, and, and, and, literally, just like I use it with the parents, I will use it with you.
47:22
Alma Dawsom: Know, co-workers, whoever you can look up the policy you, you can call here.
47:28
Alma Dawsom: Here's the number to call.
47:29
Alma Dawsom: Call this office and they will I think sometimes it's not even like I just find it's not even worth it anymore.
47:34
Carmen Lezeth: Like I mean, I know what you're saying the people I work with, all of them, especially like I'm exhausted by the amount of complaining.
47:43
Carmen Lezeth: Yes, like everything is so much work and I'm like you have no idea what it is to work hard.
47:53
Carmen Lezeth: I'm sorry, like when I think of my mother being a housekeeper, or I'm thinking of like people now that work real jobs where they're sweating and they're manual work no labor, no right, real.
48:04
Carmen Lezeth: No right, real, real labor.
48:07
Carmen Lezeth: Like I'm like nothing I do will ever compare to that type of work.
48:12
Carmen Lezeth: Nothing, nothing.
48:14
Carmen Lezeth: When I first moved to California, I got a free room and board in Westwood from a gentleman, an older gentleman, his name was Mr Nasher, may he rest in peace but he was like in his seventies or eighties old.
48:28
Carmen Lezeth: He was a frail guy and, um, he had, uh, someone who came in and cleaned his house on a like twice a week regularly, um, and he had a nurse who came and he played the piano.
48:39
Carmen Lezeth: So he had an ad that said you know, free room and board, um for light housekeeping.
48:44
Carmen Lezeth: So when I first moved here, I took that place and you have your room.
48:49
Carmen Lezeth: I had to buy a mattress.
48:51
Carmen Lezeth: You had to buy your own little furniture or whatever.
48:52
Carmen Lezeth: It was a desk or something, so it wasn't much.
48:55
Carmen Lezeth: And you did light housekeeping okay, light housekeeping.
48:58
Carmen Lezeth: So he would make breakfast in the morning.
49:01
Carmen Lezeth: You would have to clean up after him.
49:02
Carmen Lezeth: You know what I mean.
49:03
Carmen Lezeth: There was a.
49:04
Carmen Lezeth: There was a side bathroom, not his bathroom, but there was another side bathroom.
49:06
Carmen Lezeth: You had to clean that bathroom.
49:06
Carmen Lezeth: You had to sweep the kitchen.
49:07
Carmen Lezeth: You had to clean that bathroom.
49:08
Carmen Lezeth: You had to sweep the kitchen.
49:10
Carmen Lezeth: You had to take care of the garden in the back.
49:12
Carmen Lezeth: You know what I mean, not the landscaping part, but, just like you know, make sure the bird feeder had feed in it or whatever, and pick up any of the leaves that may be until the gardener came, or whatever little stuff.
49:23
Carmen Lezeth: You know what I mean.
49:24
Carmen Lezeth: I did that for eight months, crying my eyes out every night because it was so hard to do.
49:33
Carmen Lezeth: You know what I mean, but it was hard.
49:35
Carmen Lezeth: I had just graduated from college and I was trying to find a job and I was doing like I was cleaning the little bathroom and cleaning the floors and in the kitchen and that's my whole point is like I knew how hard that work was and it wasn't even the full housekeeping shit, you know, because he was like carmen carmen, come over here like he'd be on the piano and he would have his whatever, his liquor or whatever, and his he can you come and clean up this stuff?
50:02
Carmen Lezeth: And he'd have like peanuts or something and just the amount of work and getting the vacuum or whatever.
50:08
Carmen Lezeth: And I know I'm making it like, but that's what I'm saying is like I will never know what real hard labor is.
50:13
Carmen Lezeth: So when I hear these motherfuckers who have done not even that much and they can't do shit like filing, I have to tell you filing seems to be the thing gen z cannot do.
50:25
Carmen Lezeth: I, I need you to file this.
50:27
Carmen Lezeth: They're like what, what?
50:30
Carmen Lezeth: I need you to file this stuff we need it done.
50:34
Alma Dawsom: It's the next generation.
50:35
Maurio Dawson: That part they cannot file.
50:38
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: And it's like they forgot their ABCs because it's like it's so hard for them.
50:43
Alma Dawsom: Oh, my goodness, oh my God, yeah, it's a whole thing.
50:48
Carmen Lezeth: I will never know or I'll always be respectful.
50:51
Carmen Lezeth: I love anybody that.
50:53
Carmen Lezeth: I love the people that work for my clients in their homes, like the housekeepers, the landscapers, whatever and also I always work on my spanish with them.
51:02
Carmen Lezeth: You know what I mean speaking in spanish, so I could, uh, work on my Spanish, but they are the most lovely people, they work the hardest, they make the least amount of money.
51:13
Carmen Lezeth: You know what I mean.
51:14
Carmen Lezeth: They're so kind, they're such good people and they are treated like shit by everyone.
51:20
Alma Dawsom: That's the one thing that I made sure that you know.
51:25
Alma Dawsom: Our daughter knows her roots and where she came from.
51:28
Alma Dawsom: My mother came to this country and that's how she made her living.
51:31
Alma Dawsom: She made her living housekeeping.
51:33
Alma Dawsom: I started going to work with my mother when I was 11 years old and she would put me on the bus to go to one of the houses.
51:42
Alma Dawsom: She would start, another house, she would finish and then she would meet me and help me finish.
51:46
Alma Dawsom: Like that.
51:47
Alma Dawsom: Those were my summers.
51:48
Alma Dawsom: I didn't know what summer camp was, I didn't know.
51:51
Alma Dawsom: I mean, you get what I'm trying to say.
51:53
Alma Dawsom: I was like I was like they do on tv.
52:00
Alma Dawsom: I want to do that.
52:01
Alma Dawsom: But I mean, I did exactly.
52:03
Alma Dawsom: I mean, but you know, but that's why I made sure that she understood, but she got to do summer camp.
52:12
Maurio Dawson: Yeah, you know what?
52:13
Alma Dawsom: I'm saying that's so good, that's so good, yeah, but she also understood the hard work and the sacrifice that came with it.
52:21
Alma Dawsom: So, anywhere that she's gone, I don't care where it is, she's gone, you know, to great places great places.
52:31
Alma Dawsom: And I always tell her, wherever you go, the people that you want to know are the people who are working behind the house, the people who are working in the offices, In the restaurants.
52:42
Alma Dawsom: Those are the people that you want to know Because, guess what?
52:45
Alma Dawsom: They know some of everyone and everything.
52:48
Alma Dawsom: They know who everyone is, they know where everyone is, they know where, they know all the secrets and they will be the ones who will help you.
52:56
Alma Dawsom: I said nobody else is gonna.
52:58
Alma Dawsom: I said you know and and and it's been very true for her.
53:03
Maurio Dawson: Perfect example Once you moved to Switzerland, and the people who worked in the kitchen and in the service areas of the school those were her lifesavers.
53:18
Alma Dawsom: Yeah, they were always going to look out for her.
53:21
Maurio Dawson: And that's what really got her through.
53:23
Carmen Lezeth: Oh my God, Wow.
53:25
Carmen Lezeth: Well, that was a show I wasn't expecting, wow.
53:31
Maurio Dawson: It was a gift I kept giving and you didn't know it.
53:34
Carmen Lezeth: Yeah, no, I mean, I think I learned a lot.
53:36
Carmen Lezeth: You know, we are the best generation.
53:39
Carmen Lezeth: That's what I've learned.
53:40
Carmen Lezeth: We were raised well though I agree.
53:44
Carmen Lezeth: There were bad things about the way we were raised, though, too.
53:47
Carmen Lezeth: Let's you know, we were all pretty much latchkey kids, I assume.
53:51
Maurio Dawson: I was yes.
53:52
Carmen Lezeth: Which you know, for those people who don't know what that means.
53:55
Carmen Lezeth: You know, we didn't have a lot of supervision.
53:57
Carmen Lezeth: We'd come home after school and it comes from having a key around your neck and you'd let yourself in and you'd make your own food and you'd do your homework and you'd play outside till the lights came on or whatever, and um you drink from a water hose isn't that funny that people think that's such a big deal.
54:16
Carmen Lezeth: I'm like not at all but if you say it, they get like kids are.
54:21
Carmen Lezeth: That was a big thing.
54:22
Carmen Lezeth: On tiktok, you drink from a water hose?
54:25
Carmen Lezeth: Yes, we drink from.
54:26
Carmen Lezeth: That was our water fountain.
54:27
Maurio Dawson: Yes, and we kept playing and kept going.
54:30
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: Right.
54:31
Maurio Dawson: We didn't have video games.
54:32
Maurio Dawson: We had Atari back in the day.
54:34
Maurio Dawson: Then we had Nintendo.
54:36
Carmen Lezeth: Centipede I loved Centipede.
54:38
Carmen Lezeth: No, we went to the arcade, the arcade.
54:41
Alma Dawsom: Yeah, the corner store had the machines that you put on.
54:46
Maurio Dawson: You go to the bodega or the liquor store that you put up.
54:48
Maurio Dawson: You go to the bodega or the liquor store.
54:49
Maurio Dawson: You stay there for four hours playing video games in the store and you knew everybody on your block and everybody take turns and you bring your stack of quarters and you stack up saying I'm next, I'm up next.
55:00
Maurio Dawson: That was the stuff I remember.
55:02
Carmen Lezeth: And then you would watch all the elders who you knew were all gang members, playing pool, playing pool, dr pool, and all the ladies of the evening who were so nurturing and loving to you.
55:19
Carmen Lezeth: As a kid being in the pool hall, you remember right what was the name of that pool house right there, where high, low was what was it.
55:28
Carmen Lezeth: We used to go play arcades.
55:30
Carmen Lezeth: All the time it was a bowling alley and, yes, yes, it had our game and there were a bunch of like gangsters.
55:37
Carmen Lezeth: I mean, they weren't, they were just older men and ladies call it what it was back in the day back in the 70s, that know what it was.
55:47
Maurio Dawson: Back in the 70s they was calling pips in house.
55:50
Maurio Dawson: I didn't know what it was.
55:52
Carmen Lezeth: We didn't know what was behind those other doors, we didn't care, we were just hanging out man.
55:57
Carmen Lezeth: But you know what?
55:58
Carmen Lezeth: I really was so naive I think most of us were.
56:03
Maurio Dawson: You were yeah.
56:04
Carmen Lezeth: But you felt safe around all these people.
56:07
Alma Dawsom: They didn't harm any of the children I mean not that I know of Because that was our village, that was you know, and I think that now these younger kids have access to so much information that we didn't.
56:21
Carmen Lezeth: Yeah, that we did not.
56:22
Carmen Lezeth: That's a good point too.
56:24
Carmen Lezeth: Wait, Cynthia, what were you saying?
56:26
Carmen Lezeth: That was our village.
56:27
Carmen Lezeth: Right, that was our town, that was our village.
56:28
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: Yeah too Wait.
56:29
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: Cynthia what were you saying?
56:31
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: That was our village, right, that was our town.
56:34
Carmen Lezeth: That was our village, yeah, and everyone knew everyone and everyone could discipline you.
56:36
Carmen Lezeth: But I think that's part of the thing, though right Too right, the discipline too, but there was also that part of it too is that when anything did happen, that was bad or wrong or horrible to a child, because it did happen, and I think that's what ended up making this.
56:46
Carmen Lezeth: We've gone, the pendulum has gone the other way, because there would be a child abducted or something horrible would happen and people got really afraid and scared or whatever.
56:56
Carmen Lezeth: And then the pendulum went the other way, where there's all of these like we have to have what do you call them when you go and play dates?
57:01
Carmen Lezeth: Oh my God.
57:03
Carmen Lezeth: Like scheduling you know and I remember talking to Juliana one time and she said actually she was on the podcast, she scheduling, you know.
57:09
Carmen Lezeth: And I remember talking to juliana one time and she said actually she was on the podcast.
57:11
Carmen Lezeth: She said this, she said the whole idea that all she wishes it was like in the 80s when your parents didn't have to come with you to go hang out with your friends, because and I was like, what are you talking about?
57:20
Carmen Lezeth: But because they have to schedule play dates, that means the parents have to get along and then they go and hang out with each other and then the kids have to play with the other kids you know we hated that.
57:31
Maurio Dawson: What?
57:32
Maurio Dawson: Yeah, you, but the parents wanted for us, like my best friends cory and chris.
57:37
Maurio Dawson: Our mothers knew each other, but we didn't all.
57:41
Maurio Dawson: They didn't all hang like we would.
57:43
Maurio Dawson: Just, I want to go to cory's house, okay, is his mama going to be home?
57:47
Maurio Dawson: I'm dropping you off and then I'll see you later that was it?
57:51
Carmen Lezeth: It was like I understand what you're saying it was not a big thing.
57:54
Carmen Lezeth: It wasn't a big thing.
57:55
Carmen Lezeth: Well, I mean I never had the play date, the scheduled date, but yeah, I mean you did have to, but we would lie all the time.
58:02
Carmen Lezeth: What no sleepovers.
58:05
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: Oh nope, they can come stay at your house, but you couldn't stay at theirs.
58:08
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: I was older.
58:14
Carmen Lezeth: Yeah, I don't have that experience because I was staying at people's houses all the time, but that's because it was a different.
58:18
Carmen Lezeth: I didn't have my parents, yeah, so you guys couldn't go stay over at people's houses.
58:26
Maurio Dawson: They could come to your house, but you couldn't go to theirs.
58:28
Maurio Dawson: My best friends came to my house, but I never went to.
58:32
Maurio Dawson: No, I went to their house one time and then all hell broke loose.
58:36
Carmen Lezeth: But that's another, that's a story for another day all right okay, well, now I'm all nostalgic and everything but um, wow, all right anyway, thank you everyone.
58:47
Carmen Lezeth: It was great to hang out and remember.
58:49
Carmen Lezeth: At the end of the day, it really is all about the joy, all about the joy.
58:57
Carmen Lezeth: Thanks for stopping by.
58:58
Carmen Lezeth: All About the Joy Be better and stay beautiful.
59:01
Carmen Lezeth: Folks have a sweet day.