Latest / She's Not Done Yet / SNDY - Ep. 32 "Boyfriend By Christmas" | Week #1

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SNDY - Ep. 32 "Boyfriend By Christmas" | Week #1 · She's Not Done Yet

0:00
SPEAKER_00: Is everyone all right?
0:01
SPEAKER_00: No, seriously.
0:02
SPEAKER_00: Is everybody okay?
0:03
SPEAKER_00: Because some of y'all on Instagram are not.
0:07
SPEAKER_00: Last week I posted a clip about the difference between what I wanted at 41 and what I want at 61.
0:14
SPEAKER_00: At 41, I wanted tall, all the physical attributes, what most men want visual.
0:19
SPEAKER_00: At 61, I want peace.
0:22
SPEAKER_00: Peace is the new 6'4.
0:24
SPEAKER_00: Over 10,000 of you watched, and a certain group of men came into my comments like I had personally ruined their lives.
0:34
SPEAKER_00: Meanwhile, over on TikTok, my clip about the gift of singleness, over 24,000 views, 99% love, 99.9% love.
0:45
SPEAKER_00: Some were like, Singleness is not a gift, but you know how you can be gifted to sing something that just comes naturally to you.
0:52
SPEAKER_00: Some people can just naturally be single, and that's just not one of my gifts.
0:56
SPEAKER_00: But I'm the same woman, the same heart, two very different rooms.
1:01
SPEAKER_00: So let's update the scoreboard.
1:04
SPEAKER_00: Boyfriends, zero.
1:06
SPEAKER_00: Goose egg.
1:08
SPEAKER_00: Ghost, one.
1:10
SPEAKER_00: Grown men on Instagram who need a collective hug and a Bible?
1:15
SPEAKER_00: Several.
1:16
SPEAKER_00: Hundreds.
1:17
SPEAKER_00: Mothers who told me to take my showdown.
1:21
SPEAKER_00: One.
1:23
SPEAKER_00: And good men who said they'd be honored to take me out.
1:29
SPEAKER_00: One.
1:30
SPEAKER_00: Let's get into it.
1:48
SPEAKER_00: Hey ladies, welcome back to She's Not Done Yet.
1:51
SPEAKER_00: I'm your host, Teresa, and this is the podcast for women over 40 who are stepping into their purpose, their power, and their promise.
1:57
SPEAKER_00: And you just happen to know that the rest of your life is going to be the very best of your life.
2:02
SPEAKER_00: If you're just finding us, and after this week, a lot of you are.
2:06
SPEAKER_00: I'm 61, never married, and I'm dating out loud until Christmas.
2:11
SPEAKER_00: The men stay anonymous, nicknames only.
2:14
SPEAKER_00: They know about the show before we ever go out.
2:17
SPEAKER_00: My non-negotiables don't move just because there's a deadline.
2:21
SPEAKER_00: And yes, I still have some non-negotiables.
2:24
SPEAKER_00: And you, the she's not done yet family, you get to vote on how I meet him, what I wear, and all the fun things.
2:31
SPEAKER_00: Now hold on to that last part because it's about to matter.
2:34
SPEAKER_00: So here's what happened: that 41 versus 61 clip took off, and a certain group of men decided my comment section was their ministry.
2:45
SPEAKER_00: I mean, they took time, energy, and rudeness to say everything they wanted to say.
2:52
SPEAKER_00: They were profane, degrading, and the same message over and over.
2:57
SPEAKER_00: You're too old.
2:58
SPEAKER_00: Forget about love at your age.
3:00
SPEAKER_00: You blew your opportunity.
3:01
SPEAKER_00: You probably met nice men and walked all over them.
3:04
SPEAKER_00: And I'm not going to read you the comments because this is a nice show.
3:08
SPEAKER_00: My mother watches, so I can't say anything crazy.
3:11
SPEAKER_00: She's already upset with me.
3:12
SPEAKER_00: So I turn the comments off.
3:14
SPEAKER_00: Now, some of you might think I turn them off because I'm fragile.
3:18
SPEAKER_00: No, ma'am.
3:19
SPEAKER_00: And especially no, sir.
3:21
SPEAKER_00: Later in this episode, I'm going to talk about the difference between a wall and a gate.
3:27
SPEAKER_00: Consider this a preview, but a wall keeps everybody out.
3:31
SPEAKER_00: A guard at the gate decides who comes in.
3:35
SPEAKER_00: So now, to the men who came for me, I'm going to talk to you directly.
3:41
SPEAKER_00: One time.
3:43
SPEAKER_00: First, I see you.
3:45
SPEAKER_00: I read your comments, and it didn't take me out.
3:49
SPEAKER_00: I'm still here and I'm still talking my talk.
3:54
SPEAKER_00: Second, you don't get a vote.
3:57
SPEAKER_00: This season, the she's not done yet, family votes.
3:59
SPEAKER_00: How I meet who I'm gonna date, what I wear, but you're not the audience.
4:05
SPEAKER_00: You're the noise.
4:07
SPEAKER_00: And third, too old for love.
4:09
SPEAKER_00: That's not in my Bible.
4:10
SPEAKER_00: I don't know what Bible you're reading, but Sarah laughed when God told her what was coming at her age.
4:17
SPEAKER_00: She laughed.
4:18
SPEAKER_00: And it still came.
4:20
SPEAKER_00: And Joel 2.25 says, God will restore the years the locusts have eaten.
4:26
SPEAKER_00: Not just the good years, but the eaten ones, the ones that try to take you out.
4:31
SPEAKER_00: God will restore that.
4:33
SPEAKER_00: And lastly, I'm going to pray for you because I mean that, and I mean it from the bottom in my heart of hearts, I'm going to pray for you.
4:42
SPEAKER_00: Because a grown man who spends his evening telling a 61-year-old woman that she's too old for love really isn't talking about me.
4:50
SPEAKER_00: So whatever that's all about, I hope God heals it for you.
4:54
SPEAKER_00: And it really made me think: who are the women in your life?
4:58
SPEAKER_00: Like, as horrible as you were with your comments, I couldn't really fathom that you're leading any beautiful woman that you're taking care of and being the head of your household.
5:09
SPEAKER_00: And most of you, I would think, are young.
5:12
SPEAKER_00: Like my grandmother says, just keep living.
5:15
SPEAKER_00: You'll get there.
5:16
SPEAKER_00: When you get 61, let me know if what you wanted at 41 was the same thing that you wanted at 61.
5:21
SPEAKER_00: Okay.
5:22
SPEAKER_00: Now, was there anything true in all that noise?
5:26
SPEAKER_00: Actually, yes.
5:28
SPEAKER_00: One thing.
5:29
SPEAKER_00: Some of them said I wasted my chances and turned down good men.
5:34
SPEAKER_00: And y'all, I did turn down some men, but some of them deserved it.
5:39
SPEAKER_00: And some of them I screened out with a 40-item list that no person could ever meet.
5:46
SPEAKER_00: But I told you that in episode 31.
5:48
SPEAKER_00: So part of that was right.
5:51
SPEAKER_00: But it wasn't wasted.
5:54
SPEAKER_00: I didn't waste my time.
5:56
SPEAKER_00: No, I'm not the woman who wrote that list anymore.
5:59
SPEAKER_00: And when I wrote that list, and it compiled over years, but I think the last time I had added anything to it, maybe I was 41 years old.
6:07
SPEAKER_00: But those years taught me the difference between what I need and what I wanted.
6:13
SPEAKER_00: That's not a waste.
6:15
SPEAKER_00: That's tuition.
6:16
SPEAKER_00: I learned.
6:17
SPEAKER_00: That's a life lesson.
6:19
SPEAKER_00: And I would dare to say that if you're in your 20s, I promise you, what you want at 40 may not even resemble what you want at 20.
6:27
SPEAKER_00: And then what you want at 60 should be some mature version of what you wanted at 40.
6:34
SPEAKER_00: And here's the part that makes me laugh.
6:36
SPEAKER_00: The clip that did the best this week with 99.9% love was about the gift of singleness.
6:44
SPEAKER_00: 1 Corinthians 7 and 7 says, every man has his proper gift of God.
6:50
SPEAKER_00: I'm enjoying my single life and I'm open to marriage.
6:54
SPEAKER_00: Both are true at the same time, but that's not a contradiction.
6:58
SPEAKER_00: That's a grown woman.
7:00
SPEAKER_00: And I decided that I don't have the gift of singleness, so I desire to be married.
7:06
SPEAKER_00: Now to every man who showed up kind this week, thank you.
7:10
SPEAKER_00: I truly appreciate you.
7:11
SPEAKER_00: And you are the reason I don't believe that all men are like that, although there were hundreds that apparently are.
7:19
SPEAKER_00: And to the woman watching, if anybody has ever told you you're too old for love, hear me.
7:25
SPEAKER_00: The comment section is not your creator.
7:28
SPEAKER_00: And no one can talk me out of love in a comment section.
7:31
SPEAKER_00: So is everyone all right?
7:33
SPEAKER_00: Seriously, is everyone okay?
7:36
SPEAKER_00: Okay.
7:36
SPEAKER_00: All right.
7:37
SPEAKER_00: Just checking on you guys because I am.
7:42
SPEAKER_00: Now, let me keep you up to date on what happened and what transpired.
7:46
SPEAKER_00: As you know from my last episode, I was I had a tentative date.
7:51
SPEAKER_00: Now let me tell you how that went.
7:53
SPEAKER_00: So it was a setup.
7:54
SPEAKER_00: My sister's friend had a friend that connected us.
7:59
SPEAKER_00: He knew about the episode, he knew about my show, and he knew about the rules that, you know, it would not, he would be anonymous.
8:06
SPEAKER_00: I wouldn't bring up his name on the show.
8:08
SPEAKER_00: And I thought he agreed to go out.
8:10
SPEAKER_00: All my rules were checked.
8:12
SPEAKER_00: I was like really prepared and excited about going out with him.
8:16
SPEAKER_00: And then nothing.
8:20
SPEAKER_00: No call, no text, no, something came up.
8:24
SPEAKER_00: No, I'm not interested anymore, just gone.
8:27
SPEAKER_00: So his name on this show is Casper and not the friendly one.
8:31
SPEAKER_00: He ghosted me.
8:32
SPEAKER_00: I can't believe I got ghosted.
8:34
SPEAKER_00: What?
8:34
SPEAKER_00: So anyway, I was like, okay, that's cool.
8:38
SPEAKER_00: But he didn't even tell me why he disappeared.
8:42
SPEAKER_00: He told the friend who set us up that he thought this was all for the show and like I was doing it for views, and that somehow I wasn't, I guess, sincere, wanting to go out on a date, and that I would even be making money somehow off of him by taking me out.
8:58
SPEAKER_00: Sir, now he's 63 and does not do social media, and I'm not going to make fun of him at his age.
9:06
SPEAKER_00: I just spent five minutes telling a whole group of grown men not to make fun of mine.
9:11
SPEAKER_00: But y'all remember my 40-item list of everything I wanted in my husband?
9:17
SPEAKER_00: Number 36, progressive and open to social media.
9:22
SPEAKER_00: Y'all said the list was too long, but number 36 just earned its spot.
9:26
SPEAKER_00: But here's the real thing: social media isn't what he failed at.
9:31
SPEAKER_00: Plenty of good men aren't on Instagram.
9:34
SPEAKER_00: But what he failed was the one thing that actually mattered.
9:39
SPEAKER_00: He had a concern, and instead of bringing it to me, he went around me to somebody else.
9:45
SPEAKER_00: If you can't bring a concern to me before the first date, what happens if we were to get serious or God forbid get married?
9:53
SPEAKER_00: He wasn't afraid of the camera.
9:56
SPEAKER_00: He was afraid of conversation.
9:58
SPEAKER_00: And let me be honest about the money piece.
10:01
SPEAKER_00: Do I make money on this show?
10:02
SPEAKER_00: If more of you guys will subscribe to MSTFT, now it doesn't cost you anything to subscribe to my YouTube channel.
10:08
SPEAKER_00: Now, this right here, that's for YLC TV.
10:11
SPEAKER_00: They have over 100,000 subscribers, but I have less than 500.
10:15
SPEAKER_00: So I wish you all would follow me.
10:17
SPEAKER_00: But I'm not making any money by going out on a date with anybody.
10:22
SPEAKER_00: And I have an affiliate link for some of the outfits that I wear.
10:26
SPEAKER_00: And I'll tell you that every time, but nobody is paying me to go out on a date.
10:31
SPEAKER_00: If they did, honey, I'd have six dates by Thanksgiving, not by Christmas.
10:36
SPEAKER_00: And please understand the men on this show aren't content, they're people.
10:40
SPEAKER_00: That's why they stay anonymous.
10:43
SPEAKER_00: I'm not going to discredit anybody.
10:45
SPEAKER_00: I'm not going to slight anybody.
10:48
SPEAKER_00: So, anyway, that's where we are on that.
10:51
SPEAKER_00: Ghosted by one man, roasted by a whole group of men on Instagram.
10:56
SPEAKER_00: And my girlfriend saw me and they were like, Teresa, okay, we're stepping in.
11:01
SPEAKER_00: And they said, Teresa, what about this guy?
11:05
SPEAKER_00: A good man, we all know.
11:08
SPEAKER_00: He's kind, he's steady, he loves God.
11:12
SPEAKER_00: A little younger, and you know, I don't have a problem with that.
11:15
SPEAKER_00: And I'm just gonna say it.
11:17
SPEAKER_00: He's chocolate.
11:19
SPEAKER_00: So next, we're gonna talk about the chocolate referral.
11:22
SPEAKER_00: And so I did something I don't normally do.
11:25
SPEAKER_00: I reached out to him, I told him about the show, everything that he be signing up for.
11:31
SPEAKER_00: And he didn't avoid me.
11:34
SPEAKER_00: He definitely didn't ghost me.
11:35
SPEAKER_00: He actually watched my my episode about it.
11:39
SPEAKER_00: And I love a man that does his homework.
11:41
SPEAKER_00: But ladies, write that down.
11:43
SPEAKER_00: Like a man that researches, like, look look into stuff.
11:46
SPEAKER_00: Let me know that you're interested.
11:48
SPEAKER_00: But he watched and he responded and said he'd be honored to take me out.
11:55
SPEAKER_00: Honored.
11:56
SPEAKER_00: Not, I guess, not let me take one for the team.
11:59
SPEAKER_00: Not sure, why not?
12:01
SPEAKER_00: I have nothing else to do.
12:02
SPEAKER_00: He said, honored.
12:05
SPEAKER_00: And you see the difference, right?
12:07
SPEAKER_00: Casper heard about the show, assumed the worst, and went around me.
12:12
SPEAKER_00: Chocolate referral heard about the show, watched it, and came back to me, straight to me.
12:21
SPEAKER_00: Same information, two completely different men.
12:25
SPEAKER_00: Now we're both foodies, so we're going somewhere brand new that neither one of us have been to before.
12:30
SPEAKER_00: And the date is this Friday, and that's all you get until next week.
12:34
SPEAKER_00: So just stay tuned.
12:36
SPEAKER_00: Now I need to tell you who else has something to say this week.
12:40
SPEAKER_00: My mother, the sainted evangelist, Imogene Moore Thomas Lewis.
12:47
SPEAKER_00: Okay?
12:48
SPEAKER_00: My 85-year-old mother, who's been praying for my husband longer than any of you have probably been praying for yours.
12:57
SPEAKER_00: But when she saw the show, she immediately wanted me to take it down.
13:02
SPEAKER_00: First of all, she was up in the middle of the night watching it, and she sent me a long text like at 4 a.m.
13:07
SPEAKER_00: And she was like, Teresa, you need to take that down.
13:10
SPEAKER_00: That is not the way God wants you to find somebody.
13:13
SPEAKER_00: That is not, you're supposed to be um found, you're not supposed to be out seeking a man.
13:18
SPEAKER_00: And I want you to hear her side because it's she posed a very good question.
13:24
SPEAKER_00: And the way she sees it, I'm out here seeking a husband instead of letting a man find me.
13:31
SPEAKER_00: And she knows her Bible.
13:34
SPEAKER_00: So I the scripture, I can hear it now.
13:36
SPEAKER_00: Whoso findeth the wife findeth the good thing.
13:38
SPEAKER_00: Proverbs 18, 22.
13:40
SPEAKER_00: He finds, not her.
13:43
SPEAKER_00: And that's not just my mom's question.
13:46
SPEAKER_00: A lot of us grew up with that same mindset.
13:48
SPEAKER_00: So I sat with it and I went to Ruth.
13:52
SPEAKER_00: Naomi, the older woman in Ruth's life, gave her counsel.
13:56
SPEAKER_00: Ruth went and made herself known to Boaz.
14:00
SPEAKER_00: That's it.
14:01
SPEAKER_00: She made herself known.
14:03
SPEAKER_00: And Boaz said, Fear not, I will do for thee all that thou requires.
14:09
SPEAKER_00: That's in Ruth 311.
14:11
SPEAKER_00: Then he went to the city and he handled the business.
14:16
SPEAKER_00: Ruth didn't chase him.
14:17
SPEAKER_00: She made herself known.
14:19
SPEAKER_00: And she let him lead.
14:21
SPEAKER_00: And that's all I'm doing.
14:23
SPEAKER_00: I'm outside making myself known.
14:26
SPEAKER_00: And that's what happened this week.
14:28
SPEAKER_00: My girlfriends were my Naomi.
14:30
SPEAKER_00: I made myself known.
14:32
SPEAKER_00: And now I get to watch whether or not someone is going to step into my life and lead.
14:38
SPEAKER_00: So I told my mother, no, respectfully, the show stays up.
14:43
SPEAKER_00: But, mommy, let me speak to you directly.
14:46
SPEAKER_00: Here's what you might not know.
14:48
SPEAKER_00: This whole season started because of you.
14:51
SPEAKER_00: Watching you at 85, I asked myself a question that I never really even thought about before.
14:57
SPEAKER_00: But who will sit with me at 85?
15:01
SPEAKER_00: And that's not a question out of desperation.
15:04
SPEAKER_00: That's a daughter who watched her mother's life and wants a partner for the rest of my own.
15:11
SPEAKER_00: And I can honor you and still disagree with you.
15:14
SPEAKER_00: So I'm asking you to keep praying because I know if this works out, you're gonna say it was your prayers anyway.
15:21
SPEAKER_00: So please keep praying.
15:23
SPEAKER_00: I know you are a praying mother.
15:24
SPEAKER_00: I'm grateful to have you in my life.
15:27
SPEAKER_00: And my husband will come.
15:29
SPEAKER_00: And I'll just be outside so he can find me.
15:33
SPEAKER_00: So I'm absolutely not chasing a husband.
15:37
SPEAKER_00: I'm making myself known and letting God and a good man do the rest.
15:44
SPEAKER_00: Now, here's what this week showed me.
15:47
SPEAKER_00: I spent years being guarded.
15:50
SPEAKER_00: Then I spent some years wondering if it'll ever happen.
15:54
SPEAKER_00: Like, Lord, is it too late for me?
15:56
SPEAKER_00: But this week I noticed something different.
15:59
SPEAKER_00: I'm curious.
16:01
SPEAKER_00: Like not guarded, not desperate.
16:03
SPEAKER_00: I'm curious.
16:05
SPEAKER_00: What if I actually allow someone into my life and it gets serious?
16:12
SPEAKER_00: What if in these next six dates before Christmas I actually meet someone who can be my purpose partner?
16:21
SPEAKER_00: So let me ask you four questions I've been asking myself and just answer them with me.
16:27
SPEAKER_00: Number one, how open am I really?
16:31
SPEAKER_00: A lot of women say, Yeah, I'm ready, I want to get married.
16:34
SPEAKER_00: But how open are we to receiving someone?
16:37
SPEAKER_00: And open doesn't mean available to everybody.
16:40
SPEAKER_00: It doesn't mean you don't have standards, it doesn't mean you let your guards down and you settle for anybody.
16:45
SPEAKER_00: There's an open door which lets people in and then there's an open hand that will receive what God has for you.
16:54
SPEAKER_00: And here's the honest version.
16:56
SPEAKER_00: Am I open or am I showing up quietly bracing myself for it not to work?
17:02
SPEAKER_00: Because those two things kind of look exactly the same, but they feel completely different across the table.
17:10
SPEAKER_00: Question two How do I let the walls down?
17:14
SPEAKER_00: We've all heard guard your heart, Proverbs 423, keep thy heart with all diligence, for out of it are the issues of life.
17:22
SPEAKER_00: But somewhere along the way, a lot of us turned guard into a wall.
17:28
SPEAKER_00: And they're not the same thing.
17:29
SPEAKER_00: A wall we know it decides nobody gets in.
17:33
SPEAKER_00: And when you build a wall and not let one person in, you're not letting anybody in.
17:39
SPEAKER_00: But a guard stands at a gate and decides who gets to get in and when.
17:45
SPEAKER_00: My walls were up for real reasons.
17:48
SPEAKER_00: One wall went up after the guy who wanted to pray for me.
17:52
SPEAKER_00: It turns out he was married.
17:54
SPEAKER_00: That wall needs to stay up.
17:56
SPEAKER_00: But then that wall built for him kept every other man out.
18:01
SPEAKER_00: And while a wall protects you from your past, a gate is how you walk into your future.
18:08
SPEAKER_00: And you know it opens a gate.
18:11
SPEAKER_00: Curiosity.
18:12
SPEAKER_00: And when I'm curious about him, I'm not guarding against him.
18:17
SPEAKER_00: So these next six dates until Christmas, I'm gonna answer questions they have for me, not a safe version of what they ask.
18:26
SPEAKER_00: I'm going to let them pull out the chair, pay the check.
18:30
SPEAKER_00: And when I feel myself about to crack a joke just to get out of a sincere moment, I'm going to stay in the moment.
18:36
SPEAKER_00: Y'all pray for me.
18:38
SPEAKER_00: Question three.
18:40
SPEAKER_00: Do we self-sabotage?
18:42
SPEAKER_00: Yes, grown women do self-sabotage.
18:46
SPEAKER_00: Which one are you?
18:48
SPEAKER_00: And I and there are several types of ways you can self-sabotage.
18:52
SPEAKER_00: There's the interviewer, like running a date or dating, like a hiring panel.
18:57
SPEAKER_00: Clipboard is optional, but you're asking all the questions and checking all the boxes.
19:01
SPEAKER_00: There's also the early exit.
19:03
SPEAKER_00: That's leaving a relationship before he can.
19:06
SPEAKER_00: So it never gets the chance to hurt.
19:09
SPEAKER_00: There's a COO, planning, paying, deciding, managing.
19:13
SPEAKER_00: We run companies.
19:14
SPEAKER_00: So we run the dating relationship, and then we never find out if they can lead.
19:20
SPEAKER_00: I've always said, absolutely leader, I'm a lead.
19:24
SPEAKER_00: Then there's the tester pulling back to see if they'll chase you and then holding it against them when he doesn't.
19:31
SPEAKER_00: And you can't expect a man to abide by rules that you don't even tell him about.
19:38
SPEAKER_00: Then there's the history dump, telling him everything on your first date and see if he'll run away.
19:45
SPEAKER_00: And I think lastly, another self-sabotage is just saying I'm fine by myself.
19:50
SPEAKER_00: And fine behind a wall that you've built when you're really not.
19:55
SPEAKER_00: Mine is probably the COO.
19:57
SPEAKER_00: I can run a board meeting in my sleep.
19:59
SPEAKER_00: But letting somebody else plan dinner, that's my growth area.
20:04
SPEAKER_00: Tell me yours in the comments.
20:05
SPEAKER_00: No judgment.
20:07
SPEAKER_00: Maybe a little judgment, but just tell me yours.
20:09
SPEAKER_00: I'd be interested in knowing that I'm not out here by myself.
20:13
SPEAKER_00: Question four is um, is thinking about the future going too far?
20:18
SPEAKER_00: And at 61, I am my future.
20:21
SPEAKER_00: So thinking about the future isn't too far.
20:24
SPEAKER_00: It's wisdom.
20:25
SPEAKER_00: The line is between direction and destination.
20:30
SPEAKER_00: Direction is do our values line up?
20:33
SPEAKER_00: How does his walk with God look like on a random Tuesday?
20:37
SPEAKER_00: Does he want marriage as well?
20:40
SPEAKER_00: But destination is planning the wedding, merging households, and mentally pricing out houses.
20:47
SPEAKER_00: Ask me how I know.
20:48
SPEAKER_00: I'm in real estate.
20:49
SPEAKER_00: So the only question I have for my date on Friday, and by the way, we're friends.
20:53
SPEAKER_00: I know him, but it'll be do I want to know more?
20:56
SPEAKER_00: Do we want to go on a second date?
20:58
SPEAKER_00: But I am curious enough just to go out.
21:00
SPEAKER_00: Now let's talk about what I'm wearing.
21:03
SPEAKER_00: So it's gonna be Friday.
21:04
SPEAKER_00: It's a brand new upscale spot, and I know it'll be dressy, but just not like I'm not wearing a gala gown.
21:14
SPEAKER_00: It's just a grown woman, nice dinner.
21:17
SPEAKER_00: Now, my three choices, and I'll post them.
21:20
SPEAKER_00: I think look A will be like a pantsuit.
21:23
SPEAKER_00: I have a nice, it's gonna be freezing on Friday.
21:25
SPEAKER_00: I think it's like in the 40s, like that's the high for Friday here in Atlanta.
21:30
SPEAKER_00: So I may wear a sweater pantsuit that I have, and it's burgundy, kind of like a dark wine color is beautiful.
21:37
SPEAKER_00: And then I have a dinner dress.
21:40
SPEAKER_00: It's a dark green fitted emerald sweater dress.
21:45
SPEAKER_00: It's really nice.
21:46
SPEAKER_00: Look C would probably be a leather jumper that I have, and it's green, but it doesn't have any sleeves, so I'd probably have to wear a turtleneck under it or something like that.
21:56
SPEAKER_00: But I'll post my looks or whatever it's gonna be, and um you Decide.
22:00
SPEAKER_00: And I'll have affiliate links for those that I purchased.
22:03
SPEAKER_00: I bought some on Fashion Nova and I can't remember where I ordered one.
22:06
SPEAKER_00: I may have gotten one off TikTok.
22:08
SPEAKER_00: I'm not sure.
22:09
SPEAKER_00: Now for Friday, what we'll talk about at the table, the first thing I'll tell them is tonight is just us.
22:15
SPEAKER_00: Anything you rather keep off the show, I will not discuss it.
22:20
SPEAKER_00: It will stay right there at that table between us.
22:23
SPEAKER_00: And then questions I'll probably have.
22:25
SPEAKER_00: Like, I don't know if you have questions for like somebody you're trying to get to know.
22:29
SPEAKER_00: Like I don't know him that well, but I have questions I guess I would ask just, you know, to find out more about him.
22:37
SPEAKER_00: Um, I am curious to know what he thought about my show when he watched it.
22:40
SPEAKER_00: We didn't talk in detail, so that'll be a question.
22:43
SPEAKER_00: Uh, we'll probably talk about, I don't know, the best part of his year.
22:47
SPEAKER_00: We're at the end of 2026 in this fourth quarter.
22:50
SPEAKER_00: I guess I want to know his highs and lows.
22:53
SPEAKER_00: Um, I'll ask him about his walk with God, like what that looks like.
22:58
SPEAKER_00: And I thought I think it's always important to know like who your people are.
23:04
SPEAKER_00: Like who who would you call at 2 a.m.?
23:06
SPEAKER_00: Who's that circle of friends?
23:08
SPEAKER_00: I'm curious to know like who his people are.
23:12
SPEAKER_00: And uh, we're both foodie, so we'll probably talk about food and the best food we've ever had and whether the food where we're going is gonna be good or not.
23:20
SPEAKER_00: But what's staying home?
23:22
SPEAKER_00: I'm not talking about anything crazy.
23:23
SPEAKER_00: I'm not talking about ex-relationships.
23:25
SPEAKER_00: I'm not talking about marriage.
23:26
SPEAKER_00: I'm not talking about anything relatively close to trying to lock down anything because again, I'm just outside.
23:36
SPEAKER_00: I'm going on a date.
23:37
SPEAKER_00: I'm going to at least get to know somebody that I remotely know a little bit to get to know him better, and I'm going to have fun and enjoy myself.
23:46
SPEAKER_00: Now, what I'll quietly watch for that I do with all men is how he treats the server, whether or not he asks questions, and whether he does what he says he'll do.
23:58
SPEAKER_00: And so you'll stay tuned for next week's show and we'll talk about it.
24:02
SPEAKER_00: So let's have a faith anchor, which I always bring in scripture.
24:08
SPEAKER_00: Isaiah 43 and 19 says, Behold, I will do a new thing.
24:12
SPEAKER_00: Now it shall spring forth.
24:14
SPEAKER_00: Shall ye not know it?
24:16
SPEAKER_00: God didn't say he'll do a new thing for younger girls.
24:21
SPEAKER_00: He said he would do a new thing.
24:23
SPEAKER_00: And then he asked the question, shall ye not know it?
24:27
SPEAKER_00: Will you notice when I do a new thing?
24:30
SPEAKER_00: And that's a question about curiosity.
24:32
SPEAKER_00: Some of us have been so busy guarding against anything that's coming or anything new that sometimes we walk right past the new thing.
24:42
SPEAKER_00: Even if it's holding the door open for us, we'll walk right past and not even recognize, and maybe this is a blessing.
24:49
SPEAKER_00: Maybe this is something God is doing for us.
24:52
SPEAKER_00: That scripture is it has a new meaning for me.
24:55
SPEAKER_00: I guess I'll have a heightened sense of awareness to notice or recognize when God is doing something.
25:02
SPEAKER_00: And the mindset shift for me is going from did I miss it?
25:07
SPEAKER_00: Am I past my time?
25:09
SPEAKER_00: to I wonder what's next.
25:11
SPEAKER_00: I'm literally curious about the next part of my life.
25:15
SPEAKER_00: So grab your journals.
25:17
SPEAKER_00: I don't know if you does anybody have their journal?
25:21
SPEAKER_00: Get your she's not done yet journal at snd y podcast.com.
25:26
SPEAKER_00: But I do want to write in our my journal.
25:29
SPEAKER_00: And I think that a big part for me is just some self-reflection on am I a self-sabotager?
25:38
SPEAKER_00: And also I think it's a good question to ask ourselves in our journal.
25:43
SPEAKER_00: Like, am I building walls that are preventing anybody from getting close to me?
25:49
SPEAKER_00: Or am I just being protective enough to have a gate?
25:54
SPEAKER_00: I want to guard my heart.
25:56
SPEAKER_00: I definitely don't want the walls that I've had all of my life preventing me from getting to my next.
26:04
SPEAKER_00: Amen.
26:06
SPEAKER_00: So let's close with the affirmation.
26:07
SPEAKER_00: Last week we only did one affirmation, and my one affirmation is it's not too late for me.
26:14
SPEAKER_00: Okay.
26:15
SPEAKER_00: That's for all my haters who said that it was.
26:18
SPEAKER_00: But I think my affirmation this week is going to be I'm right on time for what God has for me.
26:28
SPEAKER_00: I like that.
26:30
SPEAKER_00: I'm right on time for what God is doing in me, in my life, and I'm walking boldly into it.
26:38
SPEAKER_00: Amen.
26:40
SPEAKER_00: So we're getting ready to wrap up, but I do want you to pick my outfit.
26:44
SPEAKER_00: It'll be A, B, or C, and the links will be in my bio.
26:48
SPEAKER_00: Please drop a question that you want me to ask chocolate referral.
26:52
SPEAKER_00: I'll pick one and I'll ask it at dinner.
26:55
SPEAKER_00: I'm excited.
26:56
SPEAKER_00: Um, follow me on Instagram at MSTFT, on TikTok, MSTFT1, on YouTube, please subscribe at MSTFT.
27:06
SPEAKER_00: And next week we'll have the debrief from the date.
27:10
SPEAKER_00: And I'll have a special guest next week.
27:13
SPEAKER_00: I don't know who I'm gonna have on.
27:14
SPEAKER_00: Probably one of my girlfriends, one of my Naomi's will come on.
27:17
SPEAKER_00: But we'll find out if there's going to be a date too.
27:20
SPEAKER_00: And I want you to stay tuned.
27:22
SPEAKER_00: I am honestly curious about this whole next season and even who my next date is.
27:27
SPEAKER_00: So you guys let me know where I can find my next date.
27:31
SPEAKER_00: There is so my sister told me about I don't know, it's a dating, it's not a dating app, but it's like a Facebook dating show, I think.
27:41
SPEAKER_00: I don't know, or there's a Facebook dating link.
27:44
SPEAKER_00: I don't even know what it is, but she told me like you can go on Facebook and do a profile, and then it's for dating exclusively.
27:51
SPEAKER_00: I haven't looked it up, so I don't know the details, but you can go on there, and I think people that are not your friends are the ones that will connect with you or something like that.
27:58
SPEAKER_00: I don't know.
27:59
SPEAKER_00: But I'm let me know if you're interested in that, or let me know if that's a good idea.
28:04
SPEAKER_00: Like, I I'm not down with uh dating apps.
28:07
SPEAKER_00: I talked to you about that before.
28:08
SPEAKER_00: And what I'd love to have is just either being connected to somebody by somebody that I know, and then they know that person personally or know their family, or just organically meeting someone.
28:21
SPEAKER_00: So I'm excited.
28:24
SPEAKER_00: Just don't forget, like the rest of our life is going to be the best of our life, but we have to make that happen.
28:29
SPEAKER_00: I'll see you guys next week.
28:30
SPEAKER_00: Have an amazing week.