Latest / The Christy-Faith Show / Ep. 125 - How to Homeschool Without a Co-Op and Still Find Community | Throwback Thursday

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Ep. 125 - How to Homeschool Without a Co-Op and Still Find Community | Throwback Thursday · The Christy-Faith Show

• 0:00
  Christy-Faith: Hi, friends. Welcome back to The Christy Fae Show. Today, we're bringing back a favorite from the archives as part of our Throwback Thursday series. So whether you heard this when it first came out or it's brand new to you, I hope it encourages you right where you are today. Alright.
• 0:15
  Let's get into this throwback Thursday episode. Homeschooling is an incredibly rewarding journey, but let's be real. It can also feel pretty lonely. If you've ever found yourself wondering if you're the only one navigating this path without a co op, please know that you're definitely not alone. Do you need a co op?
• 0:34
  Maybe you've looked for a co op, but none of them seemed to fit your family's needs, or maybe the closest one is just too far away. When navigating the homeschool world without a co op, feeling a little weird about it is totally normal. But the good news is this, community is possible even without a co op. I've had seasons with co ops and seasons without, and both of those have been incredibly special times. And you don't need to buy into the idea that homeschooling without one means that you're doing something wrong.
• 1:04
  Why do we sometimes feel the need to justify our homeschooling by telling others that, oh, no. No. No. We have a co op as if it somehow justifies our homeschooling or makes it better or it's how we convince other people that our kids are socialized. I wanna explore that pressure to conform to the co op model and honestly challenge the idea that it's the only way to homeschool successfully.
• 1:25
  After all, co ops are a relatively new development in the last thirty years. Does that mean that we weren't homeschooling right before they existed? Today, we're gonna explore how homeschooling without a coop can still be a rich, fulfilling experience full of connection for your kiddos. Before we jump into today's topic, hi. I'm Christy-Faith.
• 1:56
  For over twenty years, I've dedicated my professional life to education, guiding thousands of students from kindergarten to college and advising parents on how to make the best educational choices for their children. I'm also the author of Homeschool Rising, speaker and founder of Thrive Homeschool Community. What is Thrive, you ask? Well, it's a place I created because I was frustrated with all the pseudo experts everywhere giving really bad homeschooling advice. It is where you can get all the training, support, and heartfelt advising you need to build and maintain a homeschool that you are confident in and that does right by your kids and make some amazing friends along the way.
• 2:37
  Let's get into the main topic for today's show. So as we explore how to shift our mindset around community connection and the socialization myth, I hope you'll realize that there are plenty of ways to build community without relying on the traditional coop model. Plus, I'll be sharing eight other ways you can create meaningful connections and find the community that you crave without a co op. And if you're currently shopping for a co op, I highly encourage that you check out my episode on how to find the best homeschool co op and when to walk away. It's full of tips from my own experiences, and it's something I really wish I had when I first started homeschooling.
• 3:16
  I'll link that episode in the show notes. Okay. Let's talk about socialization, that magic word that people love to throw at homeschoolers like it's a gotcha moment. Right? The traditional view of socialization is basically school branded socialization.
• 3:31
  Lunchroom chatter, recess, and sitting in a room full of kids your exact age for hours on end each day. But let's get real. How much of that is actually healthy socialization? I mean, growing up, how many times did you hear, we're not here to socialize from a teacher? Make it make sense.
• 3:48
  The truth is what school offers is forced peer association, not true socialization, and yet this myth persists. In fact, a 2019 study found that homeschooled kids score above average socially, emotionally, and psychologically compared to traditionally schooled peers. Real world socialization isn't about standing in line for the bathroom and being told to be quiet all day. It's about navigating relationships with people of all ages and backgrounds. Okay.
• 4:17
  So let's shift how we think about this. Socialization isn't about the number of people your child interacts with. It's about the depth of those connections. And homeschooling, it gives you the freedom to be intentional about the experiences that actually will benefit your kids and family. Instead of feeling pressure to join a co op just because that's what homeschoolers are supposed to do, you can create relationships that align with your values and lifestyle, whether that's through neighbors, local businesses, or other homeschool families in your community.
• 4:48
  Now don't get me wrong. Co ops can be great, but they're not the only way to build community. Plenty of homeschool families thrive without them, yet the pressure to join one or to mimic traditional schooling can sometimes cloud the joy and flexibility that homeschooling offers. And I just wanna remind you that your homeschool doesn't have to look like everyone else's. Here's something we don't talk enough about, real world socialization.
• 5:12
  It happens every day when we homeschool. Trips to the grocery store, talking with neighbors, volunteering, joining clubs. These are all opportunities for our kids to engage with the world, develop empathy, and practice real life communication skills. Meanwhile, traditional school socialization is often just learning how to pass notes without getting caught. Let's stop comparing our homeschool journeys to other people's highlight reels.
• 5:36
  I'm speaking to myself here. Okay? Some families thrive in big social circles while others prefer smaller deeper connections and both are valid. Plus some of our kids are introverts, some are extroverts, some of us are introverts and extroverts. So what our socialization looks like is gonna vary.
• 5:53
  Instead of thinking about socialization as just making friends, think of it as a way to develop emotional intelligence, resilience, and strong communication skills. Homeschooling provides an environment where kids can build these skills at their own pace without the peer pressure, the social hierarchies, or daily popularity contests that tend to be a big part of traditional school, public and private. And finally, let's bust the idea that homeschoolers should only socialize with other homeschoolers. Your kids can connect with a wide range of people through church, community programs, sports, music, or even just talking to the friendly barista at your local coffee shop. My nephew happens to be a totally popular guy at the local Starbucks.
• 6:38
  A barista even went to his birthday party. People might look at my nephew and be like, that's weird, when actually that's healthy socialization. Being able to talk to people of all ages. That's amazing. Now that we've reframed what socialization really means, let's get into the eight ways you can build community without a co op right after a word from our sponsor.
• 6:57
  Homeschooling for kids means I'm juggling roughly 24 different subjects at any given time. And a few years back during a particularly busy season, I hit a wall. I needed some serious help with the heavy lifting of teaching everything myself and managing schedules for four kids. That's when I found BJU Press Homeschool, and we've loved their courses so much that we keep going back. Some families use them for everything and love it.
• 7:20
  I use them for certain subjects. Either way, total mental load relief. Here's what my mornings look like now. Let us take science for example. My three girls do that one together.
• 7:29
  They fire up the lesson taught by a real teacher, well produced, actual teaching, not just click through busy work. And I sit there with my coffee, watch them, or make breakfast, and we discuss the big ideas. Every BJU Press homeschool course prioritizes critical thinking, a biblical worldview, and hands on learning. I just guide the conversation and pick which activity or pages or projects we want to do, and everything's already planned out. They have an online platform included for you called the Homeschool Hub, and it keeps everyone on track, both me and my kids, without micromanaging or nagging.
• 8:01
  And when I have questions, I call my HomeWorks consultant. These people don't just help you get set up. They're available for you whenever you need them. It's like having a homeschool expert on speed dial. Go to bjupresshomeschool.com or click the link in the show notes to find out more.
• 8:15
  I wanna talk about homeschool math for a minute, specifically CTC math, who I'm so glad is sponsoring this episode because you need to know about them. I'm picky about curriculum, and there are a few subjects I won't compromise on, and math is on the top of that list. CTC math is what I use with all four of my kids, and it's an excellent k to 12 math program. Rigorous, thorough, comprehensive, everything I want my kids to have in their math education. But without all the stress, the tears, and me having to learn long division all over again.
• 8:49
  Here's what happens at our house now. My kids log in. A real math teacher walks them through the lesson four to nine minutes clear, step by step. They do their lesson and finish up with practice problems. The program grades them, and I don't have to remember how to do fractions with unlike denominators or where exactly they left off last week, which means I get to be the mom in the room.
• 9:11
  I can sit nearby, listen in, encourage, fold the laundry, and watch math get done beautifully. Easier on mom? No sacrifice on academics? Yes, please. Join me and tens of thousands of homeschool families using CTC Math for their go to math curriculum.
• 9:29
  Links in the show notes. Grab your free trial today and you'll see why we love it for our kids. Okay. Before we get into the practicals, I should make you aware that in my book Homeschool Rising, I go into detail on socialization. And in that particular chapter, I think it's chapter seven, I uncover the characteristics of a child who is experiencing healthy socialization.
• 9:50
  And you can even use that as a guide or a checklist. So grab that if you need it. And then if that's not enough, I have a masterclass on this in Thrive Homeschool Community that goes even further. We have masterclasses every month taught by experts in Thrive Homeschool Community, and you have access to that entire library when you join. If your family practices a faith, your place of worship can be one of the most nurturing spots to find support.
• 10:15
  A lot of faith communities offer more than just weekly services. They have children's ministries, youth groups, and sometimes even homeschool specific activities. These spaces are full of opportunities for connection, and they can really help you feel like you're not doing this alone. For one of my friends, getting involved in a church has been key. She started a homeschool group in her local church, and at first, it was just her and one other family.
• 10:37
  But over time, it grew into a supportive group where they were able to share curriculum ideas, they planned field trips together, and just encouraged one another through the tough days. And the beauty of it is it just started small, like hardly any pressure. And it became a real source of strength for all of them. Building connections doesn't have to be complicated. So here are a few ways that you can do that without feeling a ton of pressure to make something official.
• 11:00
  You can always start a group. Even if it's just a few families, it can evolve into a great resource for shared activities and encouragement. This next one has really helped me because I'm an introvert. I know you guys don't believe it, but I actually am. Volunteering.
• 11:13
  I like to have something to do, especially when I'm meeting new people. Volunteering is a fantastic way to find and build connections. When my kids volunteer with me for a community project, they form bonds with other kids, and I do too. And don't feel like you have to have a formal gathering. Sometimes just inviting someone for coffee or organizing a casual picnic is the perfect way to get to know other homeschooling parents in your community.
• 11:38
  Also, let's not forget about playgroups, and playgroups aren't just for toddlers. Honestly, families with school aged kids can benefit so much from a play based activity or a play focused meetup too. Watching kids bond over shared activities is so fun to watch. It's pric priceless, and it's a great way for parents to connect as well. One of our founding members in Thrive, she couldn't find a local homeschool group that fit her family's needs, and so she just decided to start a playgroup by herself, and it started super simple, just a post on Facebook and the group met at a park.
• 12:09
  And then over time, it turned into something regular where they could trade homeschooling tips or chitchat while they're watching the kids play. Mostly, it just supported each other as parents. If you're looking to join a playgroup or even start one, here are a few easy ways to make it happen. Search for local playgroups on apps or Meetup or Facebook or just ask online parenting groups. If you don't see one, make your own post and say you're looking to connect.
• 12:34
  If you're out at a story time or swim lessons, casually bring up the idea to other parents that you meet there. It can be as easy as, hey, we're homeschooling. Do you know of any groups around here? You can take the first step and host a meetup. Just make sure to keep it simple and low pressure.
• 12:49
  Okay. So I know that this can feel super intimidating. Right? Striking up a conversation with strangers in the park isn't always the easiest thing, especially if you're a little bit on the shy side. But here's the thing, you're not alone in wanting to connect.
• 13:02
  I remember one time when I struck up a conversation with a mom at a park and it felt a little awkward at first, but the conversation ended up leading to a friendship. We ended up meeting for coffee, and now years later, we're still friends. Sometimes it's just about taking that first step and having the bravery to do it. Here are some simple ways to break the ice if you are in this position. One, start small.
• 13:24
  Don't overthink it. Just say hi, ask a simple question, how old are your kids, or what's your favorite park around here? Push through the awkwardness. Yes. It can feel uncomfortable at first, but it really is worth it.
• 13:36
  That small step could lead to a meaningful connection. And if you're liking the feeling of talking to that person, you can take it a step further. If the conversation clicks, ask if you'd like to meet up again or exchange some contact information. And we also have to consider our local community hubs like libraries. They're not just for borrowing books anymore.
• 13:53
  They've become amazing places for connection and learning. They often have events specifically for homeschoolers plus a variety of family friendly activities that can help you meet other parents. Even if they're not homeschooling families, the type of parent that brings their kids to library activities is probably the type of parent that you would wanna get to know. We've had some great experiences attending library events from homeschool specific programs to just general activities. After attending a few times, I started meeting other parents who were also homeschooling and looking for similar support.
• 14:24
  It became a really cool way to build a little community. If you're looking to connect through the local library, here are a few ways to get started. You can just go to the local website or ask your local librarian what they have going on and what's available. Attend story times or other child focused events where you can meet other parents who might be in the same boat as you. You can also start a library meetup.
• 14:43
  Once you've met some families, why not start a regular meetup then? The kids can get together, do research on things, read together, and work on projects. And what's a gold mine for homeschoolers? I'll let you know right after a word from our sponsor. Is your child struggling with attention, memory, reading, writing, or math?
• 14:58
  If you're experiencing this, you know how heart wrenching it is to watch them face these hurdles. You've poured love, time, and attention into their education, yet the struggle persists, leaving you feeling stuck and desperately searching for answers. You guys, I want you to know about LearningRx, a proven program designed to help your child's cognitive skills, enabling them to think faster, learn more easily, and perform at their best. I'm talking getting real long term help here with things like ADHD and dyslexia. LearningRx is backed by thirty five years of research, and their results are transformative.
• 15:31
  Use code HOME 50 for $50 off your cognitive skills assessment. Go to learningrx.com or click the link in the show notes. Think homeschooling means doing it all yourself? Let me stop you right there. If you're looking for a partner you can trust, one I trust with my own kids, check out True North Homeschool Academy.
• 15:49
  They're Cognia accredited and offer live online classes and flexible self paced options for grades six through 12. Your teen can pursue a dual degree track or a tech and trades diploma all with teachers who share your family values. Small classes, college ready rigor, real world skills, and it all fits your schedule in a faith friendly environment. Ready to learn more? Head to truenorthhomeschool.academy or click the link in the show notes to explore courses and get started today.
• 16:18
  Science centers and museums. These are gold for homeschoolers. They often host special events just for homeschool families. These places are fantastic for learning, but they also draw in other homeschool families, and it's a great way to build connections and meet other people. You wanna make the most of these community spaces?
• 16:37
  Here are a few ways to do that. First, hit those homeschool days, and they're usually discounted. Plus, what I love about those is they usually put together a program just for the homeschooled kids on those days. Also, consider memberships. We do this all of the time.
• 16:51
  And when you're going during the day, you're gonna run into other homeschooling families. And if you think you see another homeschooling family there and you wanna get to know them more, you can just say, hey. My kids love this exhibit and just start a conversation. Another thing, you don't have to venture far from home to find meaningful connections. Your neighbors might be an untapped resource for friendship and support.
• 17:11
  And chances are many families, homeschooling or not, are also craving community. If you're looking for simple ways to connect with families around you, here's a few ideas to try. Host a front yard picnic, Set up a blanket or some chairs, make some snacks, and casually invite neighbors who walk by. A simple, hey, want a cookie? Can open the door to something more.
• 17:30
  You can also take daily walks. Head out maybe at the same time each day. You'll start seeing familiar faces, and eventually, the hey there can turn into real conversations. My neighborhood is really good at this planning neighborhood events for the kids. You can organize a bike parade, a sidewalk chalk day, or a scavenger hunt.
• 17:47
  It's an easy way to bring families together without a ton of pressure. Sometimes the best opportunities to meet people are already happening around you, but you have to say yes. We've got scouts, sports leagues, four h clubs, speech and debate clubs, and theater programs. All of these can bring families together from all different backgrounds and all different ages, making them a great place for friendships to form, both for you and your kids. To make the most of these built in activities, consider these simple steps.
• 18:16
  A cool thing to do is just have a culture in your family of trying new things, whether it's soccer, drama, gardening, shared interests can create natural bonds, and maybe you and your kids can find a thing. Also, there's tons of weekly groups like music and art classes, and you can connect with families over time. I know firsthand that finding your people outside of a traditional coop can feel overwhelming, but I've also learned that the best connections often happen from the simplest efforts. When we first moved to a new state and found a new church, I just hopped in, started volunteering. I knew that some relationships would stick, some wouldn't, but I really put myself out there and it was hard.
• 18:57
  But now when I look back, I'm actually pretty proud of myself. Any other introverts listening? Yeah. It was hard and that's why I did the volunteering because it gave me something to do and a job that I had where I could kind of observe other people. And look, it isn't always easy.
• 19:14
  And I have had many times where I have felt like the awkward outsider, but I just made a commitment to myself because I lived in a new place to just show up consistently. And though it made me feel uncomfortable, it really did make a difference. Before we move on, I just wanna say thank you for being here truly. And if you've gotten anything out of today's show, I can tell you the best way to support it, and it's completely free. Subscribe, hit that like button, and leave me a comment.
• 19:41
  And real talk, I recently looked at our YouTube stats, and over 90% of our watch time is coming from people who are not subscribed. So if you are one of those wonderful folks who keeps showing up but hasn't actually hit the subscribe yet, Well, this is your official nudge. Why am I even asking? Well, subscribing tells those little robots behind the screen that this show is worth putting in front of more moms, and it helps us keep making these episodes for free to you. And if you really don't wanna miss the next one, tap that bell too because only a tiny sliver of you have notifications on.
• 20:15
  I see you. Maybe do three things for me today just because you love me. Subscribe, like the episode, and leave a comment telling me what part of this hit home. We read all of the comments, and we love watching you show up for other homeschool moms in there. It really does make a bigger difference than you know.
• 20:34
  Thank you in advance, friends. Love you. If you are watching every single dollar right now, a lot of us are, I wanna tell you about something that gave our family a thousand dollars back per month. So I'm so happy to tell you that this episode is sponsored by Summit HealthShare. That's my husband's company, and I am so grateful for the support.
• 20:52
  Can we just all agree for a hot minute here that health insurance is a complete nightmare to deal with and completely overpriced? The copays, the denials, the in network, out of network nonsense, having to get permission for everything, and not having freedom on where to go. I just hate it. And for all of that headache, you're paying thousands of dollars a month and still facing a fight when you actually need good care. This is why I believe so much in the freedom that comes from a good, solid, honest health share.
• 21:22
  Now health sharing is not health insurance, but it does replace it. And it's been around for over a hundred years. What's so cool is with Summit HealthShare, the families who move over to it, they are saving between 4060% per month, and they have a 98% customer satisfaction. You can see any doctor you want too, even holistic ones. I just went to my crunchy doctor the other day, and my new prescription was $0, and so were my labs.
• 21:49
  Yes. You heard that right. On a health share. We're saving all that money, and our family is getting the best care that we've ever gotten. Now I know this sounds too good to be true.
• 21:57
  That's what a lot of people say about it, but it's not. It's actually how health care should have worked all along. Insurance companies, of course, they don't do it that way. So if you're paying even a cent to a traditional health insurance company, here's what I want you to do. I want you to go to summithealthshare.com and go to their savings calculator.
• 22:13
  That is where you will find out how much you should be paying per month for the care that you need. And it only takes two minutes to do the calculator. And when you see what you should be paying, yeah, you're gonna be grabbing your phone so fast. And when you do, they're gonna walk you through absolutely everything. But make sure when you call, tell them you listen to the show because I want you to have the VIP treatment.
• 22:32
  This is something completely free to homeschooling families that I am so proud to be a part of. A while back, I built a directory, and what it was was a directory trying to help homeschool families find doctors and service providers who wouldn't give them a hard time just because they're homeschooling? You've been in that situation where you're getting that side eye. The directory started out really small and really scrappy, and it was born out of frustration, really. I was sick of ignorant pediatricians telling moms that they shouldn't homeschool.
• 23:02
  But here's what is so cool. It has grown into something I never expected, a real robust community, a whole economy, colleges, businesses, curriculum, doctor's offices, reading specialists, homeschool graduates who are now in business, young entrepreneurs who get a free account by the way. You name it. They are all saying, we are in your corner. We wanna work with homeschool families.
• 23:27
  It's called The Christy-Faith List, and it is completely free for homeschooling families to search. And I am so proud of it. And if you are a business owner or part of an organization that loves to work with homeschool families, please sign yourself up. We wanna know who you are, and we wanna find the people who support us so we can support you back. A link to the Christy-Faith list is in the show notes.
• 23:49
  Go search for somebody right now. Finding your community, especially without the built in structure of a co op, isn't something that happens overnight. Relationships do take time to form, and sometimes you'll need to put yourself out there again and again before you start feeling really connected. But be patient, be consistent because it will end up coming. And here's the good news, it does get easier.
• 24:11
  Talking to new people might feel awkward at first, but like any skill, it can improve with practice. Each conversation builds your confidence and expands your circle. And if you need to have scripted questions, do that. I do that with my own kiddos before we enter a new place. They all have questions that they're gonna ask people so that they can keep conversations moving while they're meeting new people.
• 24:32
  Remember, this is a long game. A simple park meetup and library class may not lead to instant friendships, but showing up regularly makes you a familiar, approachable presence. Over time, those small moments of connection will add up. Most importantly, it's not about having a huge social circle. It's about having the right people in your life.
• 24:51
  So take your time and be selective. Research shows that the quality of our friendships matters far more than the quantity. A study published in the Journal of Happiness Studies found that close supportive friendships contribute more to personal well-being than a large network of acquaintances. Similarly, data from the Survey Center on American Life reveals that people with a few deep trusted friendships report higher life satisfaction than those with many more distant social connections. But community does start with a shift in mindset.
• 25:23
  The key for us introverts is persistence, openness, and a willingness to take the first step. And you know I love action steps. So here are three that you can do right now. One, pick a place to show up regularly. Whether it's a library story time, a park meetup, or a reoccurring event, consistency turns acquaintances into friends.
• 25:44
  Commit to showing up to something for the next month. Number two, extend a simple invitation. Invite a neighbor for coffee, text a fellow homeschooling parent about a play date, or even just set out sidewalk chalk and see who joins. Small, low pressure invites can lead to lasting connections. And number three, say yes to something new.
• 26:04
  Sign up for an activity, attend a homeschool gathering, or join a local event. Even if it's outside your comfort zone, saying yes will open doors. You and your children can thrive without a co op. Will it take time? Yes.
• 26:18
  Will there be moments of loneliness? Probably. But with creativity, courage, and intentionality, you'll build the connections that make your homeschooling journey rich and fulfilling. And remember, you don't have to do this alone. That's exactly why I created Thrive Homeschool Community, a space designed to support and connect homeschooling parents in a way that feels natural, encouraging, and pressure free.
• 26:41
  Whether you're looking for superb research backed training, inspiration, personal advice for your homeschool, or just a group of like minded parents who care as much about homeschooling and who get it, Thrive is here to walk alongside you. Because homeschooling isn't just about education, it's about building a life that truly works for your whole family. So until the next show, happy homeschooling. I hope you loved this throwback as much as I did, and you're walking away with something you can actually use in your homeschool this week. If we mentioned any resources, you will find them in the show notes.
• 27:24
  And if this episode encouraged you, would you pass it along to another homeschool mom who needs it? That's how we keep this community strong. Thanks for spending this time with me, and I'll catch you on the next one.