Latest / Inchstones with Sarah | Autism Advocacy & Caregiver Stories / Profound Autism Parenting: The Role of Friendship and Support

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Profound Autism Parenting: The Role of Friendship and Support · Inchstones with Sarah | Autism Advocacy & Caregiver Stories

• 0:00
  Speaker A: Well, the countdown started. Welcome to the Instance podcast. We have to go potty because we all had a lot of children and no ability to hold an artist.
• 0:08
  Speaker B: Bathroom break. Can we get it? Bathroom break.
• 0:12
  Speaker A: I was asked to not post this video today because someone wanted to take the call from bed.
• 0:15
  Speaker B: This is.
• 0:15
  Speaker A: This is what we're going to do. The two most, most listened to podcasts of Inchton since January have been the two episodes featuring the two people here, Kristin and Cassie. And I do believe Kristin is at an epicenter of movement that she didn't start. But what has risen, I know both Cassie and I, as moms with children with profound autism, is that everyone deserves a village. Every single person as a mom deserves a village. And Cassie and I had Kristen to go through parallel experiences. And so we wanted to come on and do an episode, the three of us, because I believe this was in the plans for Cassie and I to connect over what we had no idea was coming our way and maybe even goes back. Should we thank Kappa Delta? Is that who we have to Kappa.
• 1:04
  Speaker C: Delta chapter at Georgia Boarzad? I don't know. I don't know.
• 1:08
  Speaker A: Kristin, Cassie had Tucker and you were so worried. Cause Cass, I remember you had all those scares with his development, his growth. Kristen had already been so heightened because of being one of your closest and best life friends and then going through it with me and Mac and Millie. What do you guys remember about that time?
• 1:28
  Speaker B: Well, I remember. I mean, so Cassie has had two biological children, and she has had crazy.
• 1:35
  Speaker C: Stuff told to her through my pregnancies. Yeah.
• 1:40
  Speaker B: Before each of her children were born. So. And Cassie's oldest biological child is older than mine. So she went through that journey before I did. And I remember thinking, like, this is nuts. She was told misinformation, and it left her completely blindsided. And the information was not correct. And in the information that was given to you before Tucker was born was also not correct. But we already had been going down this rabbit hole of, oh, my gosh, like, what if my children are X, Y, Z? And you know, what if these doctors are right? And thankfully they weren't in those two instances. But, you know, as soon as Cassie, I think, had Tucker and started feeling like things might be developmentally delayed, of course, the first person I thought was, if anyone can help, it's going to be Sarah.
• 2:46
  Speaker C: And I'll say Kristen's really good about, like. Well, at that time, she was good about, like, letting me come to that conclusion on my own, too.
• 2:55
  Speaker A: Okay. Yeah. Chapter one of the book. Kristen, let Us has always let us, as a friend, come to conclusions about our children before she ever said anything.
• 3:03
  Speaker C: Yeah, she doesn't. Like. And she. I don't know if you thought it already or not. Like, I don't really know the backstory in your brain, but it's like, I start seeing things and, like, me starting to ask questions. Like, do you remember when Sarah, you know, went through this? Like, do you remember this? Because I'm noticing this with Tucker, Or I'm noticing he's not doing this. Like, something feels off. And so she would just, like, kind of talk through it with me, but then, like, let me finally, like, come to the conclusion. Like, I think something's going on, and I think it's could be what Sarah's going through. So, like, and it was, like, slow for me, but not really, like, once I had it in my head, like, something was off, like, I was all in, like, trying to figure out, like, do research and figure out, like, what was going on. And she kind of let me figure that out on my own, even though she probably, like, was like, this does seem very similar.
• 4:04
  Speaker A: I would love to see, like, the map of, like, the. The phone calls during time, like, crisscrossing across the country. And I. I guess what always comes back to me for the crazy realities of all three of us living is that Kristin is the village that, like, I wish everyone could have because you needed to come to that conclusion on your own. I didn't even know. I didn't know what I didn't know. But I think it comes down to someone allowing you to come to that conclusion, but saying, I hear you. You're not lying to me. You know, that's something that always rises for me, is that when you're believed by one of your best friends that you notice something. You feel like, okay, I'm not going crazy. Like, I'm actually seeing that.
• 4:46
  Speaker C: What's crazy is, oh, sorry. I remember when you found out Sarah. But I remember, like, the Even, like, conversations leading up to it. Cause I feel like, you know, we catch up about each other through Kristen. Right? And so mostly. And so I can remember the days of her being, like, Sarah's really having a hard time. Like, something. You know, she's feeling like something's going on with Millie.
• 5:10
  Speaker B: And.
• 5:10
  Speaker C: And then, like, I can remember when you, like, got a diagnosis, and, like, she told me that, and it was just like. Because, like, you were really, like, the first person that I really knew that was experiencing that. And so I remember, like, and I had no direct connection at that point, but, like, I was going through those motions as well at the same time as you and Kristin.
• 5:33
  Speaker A: Yeah. So wild. What were you.
• 5:35
  Speaker B: I mean, I love all this credit that you guys give me and I. And I. And I really do appreciate that. I also will say, for the record, you know, I don't get sponsored.
• 5:42
  Speaker A: Do you want to be sponsored?
• 5:43
  Speaker B: Exactly. I, you know, I don't live, obviously, in New Jersey or in Tennessee. And so I think that, you know, for me, trying to be a good friend to you all, I mean, listen, our friendship's based off listening because I'm not there. It's not interacting with you all. You know, we obviously get to see each other as. As often as, you know, we try, but I think just being a good listener. And Sarah, like you said, I mean, and we talked about this on the first podcast, too, you know, I have had some challenges with my middle child, my son, just some different delays he's experienced. And having a friend just acknowledge that I'm kind of freaking out. I think something's going on. And you, you know, your friend being able to acknowledge and say, listen, you know, if you feel that in your gut, I'm here to support you until you find the answer. And I think that sometimes, when. If I was around either of your kids frequently on a daily or, you know, at least a weekly monthly basis, I probably wouldn't more than likely given more than 2 cents of an opinion because I would see them more. And you don't even. You don't need that opinion because they live with you and you know them clearly better than I ever will.
• 6:57
  Speaker A: Yeah.
• 6:58
  Speaker B: So I do think that just listening and trying to give you not advice, but just direction from what the other one has gone through, hopefully, has been helpful to each of you, since I kind of, you know, am the. The bridge that binds you two together. But I think when you get into a situation when there's so many unknowns, I'm obviously not a doctor. You don't want really advice. You just want someone that's going to be a listener and that's going to say, I'm here when you need me. If you want my opinion, ask me. You know, ask me a question. I'll give you my best answer, but I'm just here to support you.
• 7:37
  Speaker A: Yeah. And I think something that continues to rise for me is that when you're a mother, especially, and again, like, you acknowledge, you know, your middle child has gone through different phases of, you know, observations and evaluations for, you know, his own development. And Cassie And I obviously went through wildly different ones. There is an understanding. And I'm trying to figure out how to say this with the amount of, like, oomph behind it. I do not think that we, like women in general, can really support each other by just going, like, I trust your gut. Like, I think that the data point of a mother's intuition has to become like, a mark, like a legit marker. Because, you know, I. I've shared this story. Like, I brought Mac in at, like, three months old to the development. I was like, something, I'm telling you, and I was dismissed. And not that. And again, Kristen, you were like, obviously hearing all this, but you were acknowledging a part that was constantly dismissed. And I think that that's what. The friendship thing binds a lot, in a lot of ways here is that you weren't dismissing because as a mother and someone who loves the two of us as friends so deeply, like, you were acknowledging that, I think.
• 8:54
  Speaker B: And this is actually the first time I thought of this. So another dear friend of mine, who you both know semi well, has four children, and her fourth child is a boy, and she had three girls and then had a boy. And she lives in Florida, so she's not too far from me. And. But I don't see her on a super regular basis. And when she had her fourth, it was her first time she ever had had a son, which was the exact same with you, Sarah, and with Cassie having Tucker. And she felt like something was off and she did not know what it was. And she's like, I just know something's up. And people were like, well, you've never had a boy before. You're exhausted. It's your fourth. You know, we feel like he's fine. And she took him to the doctor, and they're like, he's fine. She took him to the doctor and she's like, his coloring is off and all of these different things. And he had leukemia. And when she ended up getting him into the ER, he was less than, I think they said, 12 hours away from dying. He was only 11 weeks old. And she just kept pushing like, he is clearly not well. And the fact that she was so overlooked but kept at it, I mean, if she would have put him to bed that last night, he would not have made it. And I think, you know, with you, Sarah, you were dismissed when you went in and took Mac and was like, you know, settle down. He's three months old. He's a boy. Relax. You're like, no, I'm telling you, something is going on and similar. I mean, Cassie, I don't think that.
• 10:27
  Speaker A: You have them on our. Like, we're just. They're like, you know, they're, like, nesting on us all day long.
• 10:33
  Speaker B: Right. No one can tell you anything about your child. I feel like that you do not innately know as their mother. And, I mean, it was the first time Cassie had a son. And. I don't know. Cassie, were you ever really dismissed, though?
• 10:46
  Speaker C: Yeah, I feel like my dad was probably the loudest of, like, recognizing, like, something wasn't. Something was not the same as, you know, before. And because he would be like, have you gotten his ears checked? You know, like, some. Like, it's weird. He's not, like, answering to his name, you know, and so I'm like, no, I agree. They checked his ears. They're fine. Like, so we would talk through that kind of stuff. And then, I mean, both of my parents and Chuck even, like, I. Anything I ever brought up, you know, that I was, like, questioning or thinking, like, they were right there. They were like, you're right. Yes, that is what's going on. Because they see him every day. And. But, you know, honestly, the doctor was the one that dismissed me. My pediatrician, and she's super sweet and positive, and I love her, but, like, I think she just didn't want to tell me bad news that she thought was gonna, you know, make me upset. And she was like, let's just wait a little bit longer. I think he's just a little bit delayed with his speech, and, you know, everything else is looking great.
• 11:43
  Speaker B: I don't remember that. Cassie, how old was he when that happened?
• 11:47
  Speaker C: He was probably, like. I started questioning, like, before his first birthday, you know, and so you had.
• 11:55
  Speaker A: That deeply in your bones enough to. Again, no one wants to go to a pediatrician, like, a well, visit and go, hi, I've got major concerns. Like, I, you know.
• 12:06
  Speaker C: Yeah, I would come in with examples because, you know, there's social media now. So, like, once you look at one thing, it all starts popping up. So I was just seeing so many similarities with other people who had autistic children that were toddlers. And so I'm like, okay, so he's not pointing and he's not clapping, right? Hello, Marker.
• 12:27
  Speaker A: Like, this is in the dsm.
• 12:29
  Speaker C: Yeah. And so, like, I, like, came in with specific examples and everything. And. And finally, after a little bit of time, because he got diagnosed right before he would turn 2. So probably, like, a little after his first birthday, I, like, went back and I was like, I want to See about getting him diagnosed, like I want him, you know, them to look at him. And so she was like, I fully support you. And then she scheduled a Vanderbilt appointment for me. But had I not said like I want this, I need to know one way or another if that's what it is or it's not. Like I just need to need to know, she would not have probably set that appointment up and I would have been probably years down the road figuring it out, you know, so. Which is wild.
• 13:10
  Speaker A: I can hear in your voice too. And I know like that, that like feeling where like you can't catch your breath. Cause you're like if I just need to have something, keep moving the feeling of stagnancy. And I think that that's what you know where Kristin was able to bridge a little bit here. Is that like. Yeah, the like and almost nudge the talk through it process so that you were you know, even more comfortable saying and being open about it.
• 13:34
  Speaker B: I think for both of you. I mean Cassie, for anyone who knows Cassie. Cassie's parents are next level amazing.
• 13:42
  Speaker A: Have you sacred village. And we thank you so much for it. Someone goes. Someone goes. Sarah, what do you really want to do like with this platform, what do you really want to do? I go get live in help for every family and child. I want the perfect set of grandparents.
• 14:02
  Speaker B: Cassie won the lottery for sure. For sure. Sarah, not to say your parents are obviously amazing as well. Cassie's parents are in such close proximity to her, literally and figuratively. And so they really see the ins and outs of your everyday life.
• 14:18
  Speaker A: And popping right now would be hilarious.
• 14:21
  Speaker C: She normally does like when I'm on a zoom.
• 14:24
  Speaker B: Side note, Sarah, I haven't even told you that.
• 14:26
  Speaker C: And she's still loud and she's going.
• 14:28
  Speaker B: And I'm like, they can see you, Sarah. Cassie's. This is a tangent but Cassie's about to move in a week. She just found this out. I know. She just went up and so I was talking to Cassie earlier today and I was like, I mean are you kind of freaking out? And Cassie has like a full time job and she's working. She's like, yeah, man, I just really hope my mommy. I got all this stuff in my office. I mean I'm just hoping my mom comes over and packs it up. Cause I don't have time for this. Like she just knows.
• 14:51
  Speaker C: No, it was packed up when I got here.
• 14:54
  Speaker B: It's unbelievable.
• 14:55
  Speaker A: It's unbelievable.
• 14:56
  Speaker B: It's like I want to be angry because I've never had that but I just love you too much that I am happy for you. It just made me a hair angry.
• 15:05
  Speaker A: Yes. Okay, so. So maybe I'm gonna, I'm gonna actually tweak this and say we just all need a Cuban grandmother to actually might be the way.
• 15:14
  Speaker B: Surely it's the Cuban culture, man. It's next level. But I. What I want, you know, my whole point in bringing up all the parents and, and Sarah, your close knit group of friends around you is that I do feel for these families that don't have the support. I know and I actually don't know them personally, but there is a family, and I'm saying this so vaguely, no one will ever figure out who I'm talking about that does sports in our area. And I have heard rumblings about this family and how they have a child who everyone feels like is autistic. And this, these parents are in deep, very deep denial about it. And this child is not a toddler anymore. And surely they're getting feedback from, I would think school and, and other people. But it makes me sad that they don't have someone to shake them and say, you have got to get a hold of this situation. And I think that they're just trying to float the child along and pray and hope that he acclimates to his peers. And while there can be some truth in that, you know, I just know from both of you getting them in early intervention is going to be the best thing you can do for your child. And it just makes me sad for these children who don't have that support system. And Sarah, I know like all of this advocacy work that you're doing and putting your heart and soul into is to help these families that need a voice and that, you know, need the support and a little push into the pediatrician's office to say, ask for, for help. You've got to find answers because if, if others around you are noticing that something might be off, you definitely as a mother know that you have got to get support to be able to and have the courage to know that it's gonna be okay. But you gotta, you gotta get one foot in the door and ask for it.
• 17:18
  Speaker A: I mean, Cassie, I'm sure you'd agree. Let's say we all lived on the same street, right? Let's just say that all happened and I was going through stuff with Millie. I likely knowing that I didn't have family around and stuff. I probably wouldn't. No, I was gonna say was that. I can imagine given that at that time, like I felt so alone. And we, if we did live close, I can imagine me if I, since I did not have like a village of support, being like, kristen, will you come with me? Like, I would encourage someone, if someone is a mother who is, you know, stay at home and is by herself and doesn't have, you know, maybe the bold, the ability to speak and feel comfortable in like sharing that with a doctor. Like, I would literally bring you. I would hope that people feel comfortable. I would love if someone. I would totally do that, be like, this is what she's going through and I need to be very clear so that I can advocate for her.
• 18:07
  Speaker B: Right.
• 18:08
  Speaker C: Yeah. Something else that I think, I mean, Chuck and I were just talking about this the other day is he's like, I mean, we're, we're dealing with no sleep all the time. Tucker just does not. He's never slept through the night ever, his whole life. And so the other day we had a really rough night and he was just like, I don't know how people do this by themselves. Like, how would we, how would you ever do this by yourself? Like, and I'm like, I don't know. I truly have no idea. Because we can also, like, we're exhausted. We have each other. But then we can also ask my parents, like, hey, can we have like an hour just to chill at the house? You know, I mean, I literally drop. Yeah, yeah. And there's some people that like, truly just don't have that. And it's like, how can we get them help? You know? Like how?
• 18:50
  Speaker A: Yeah, because, you know, there's also the idea that like, okay, yes. Can you get respite care if you fill all this paperwork? Yes, yes, yes. It is so hard to pass on your child to the care of anyone, let alone in a structured way that you want to be so familial and so loving. And, you know, that is hard. That's just a hard thing to do. And so it makes pushing like, I can see why so many, I'm sure single moms just power through it and just. Are zombies. Kristen, I wanted to say, though, to your point about, you know, a family that just doesn't want to see it. When I was doing a lot of like, one on one, just peer to peer stuff with moms in town years ago, I would find that the ones that, that really made a turnaround were when you'd say, listen, they're healthy and they are going to get bigger and this is not going away, that you need to start living your life as if they are exactly who you see they are. And if they are who they are that you as a mom know, it's just gonna get harder. You feel it's way cast, but, like, Mac is getting stronger and that is. Yeah, like. Like the density of a little boy is so different than a little girl.
• 20:03
  Speaker C: Yeah, we definitely. I mean, I've had those thoughts even just, like, you know, he has moments where he has a tantrum and I have to, like, grab him, and I'm like, how will this work if we're still doing this at 13 or 14? You know, like, need to real, like.
• 20:18
  Speaker A: And again, it's not in a way to exploit. Like, I always. I've battled with that. Like, I'm like, sharing too much and not sharing enough. But, like, truly, like, if I'm like, Mac, this morning was underneath like a. Like a blanket, and I was changing him before school and I didn't see his leg. It was like, you know, he was just like, laying down and he kicked, like, extended his legs. I mean, it. I'm gonna. I'm gonna be bruised. Like, I will be bruised. And he's seven. And that's not trying to make an example. I'm not trying to be dramatic. Like, I'm sure gets hit in the face, too. Like, Penn has paws. Like, your little one has paws. He's a big boy. But the strength of that is going to evolve differently than Mac and Tucker. And it's to not share that would be to, like, dull an edge that's really real. Like, that's our very edge to live on. And I think that that's something that if I can get more people to talk about help in a household like. Like mine, that is so important because I'm not going to be able to physically do that. There's no way. There's no way.
• 21:22
  Speaker B: And even I know Cassie, I mean, even with your parents. I mean, you know, your parents are not as young as they once were, and it's going to be, you know, I know at some point you'll start worrying about that. And just the strength and just the energy it takes to just constantly be on. Because you do have to constantly be on. One of my favorite stories, though, about Tucker and Cassie's mom, just because they're so close, is last summer, Cassie and I went to Europe to celebrate our 40th, and it was amazing. And of course, as we're about ready to go home, we are really ready to go home. And Cassie's mom went on part of the trip, and Cassie's mom got home Before Cassie did. And so her dad stayed with Tucker by himself. Slept with him every night. I mean, her dad's insane. And he does that with all of the grandkids, by the way, not just Tucker.
• 22:16
  Speaker A: He.
• 22:16
  Speaker B: And he is all in. And so his dad. Her dad, picked up Cassie's mom in the airport with Tucker. The video of Tucker seeing your mom for the first time was so incredible. And not just for Cassie under the bus, but one of the best parts. One of the best parts. And I know she knows what I'm gonna say next is she gets that video of Tucker just like. I mean, he was coming out of his skin. She could not touch her face. And, like, sweet.
• 22:46
  Speaker C: Like, just sweet caressing of her face. And couldn't, like, get close enough.
• 22:50
  Speaker B: He could not touch her enough. And then Cassie's like, I'm just. I'm excited to get home now and see him.
• 22:56
  Speaker C: He forgot about this.
• 22:58
  Speaker B: The reunion was a little different, but nonetheless. And I know with Cassie, it doesn't. It's like the reaction that he has to her mom. Exactly. It's the same as if it was her mom.
• 23:09
  Speaker A: Yeah. Yeah.
• 23:09
  Speaker B: They're such an extension of each other. But the video will forever live in my memory. I mean, it. And it's not even my family. And I so vividly remember him just like, oh, my gosh, she's here. She's back. And she wasn't. Was she gone for, like, a week? How long was it?
• 23:25
  Speaker C: Yeah, I think she was only. She was gone for, like, maybe seven days, and then we were gone for, like, 11.
• 23:30
  Speaker B: He was so happy she was home. And your dad was like, dude, we've had a great time together.
• 23:36
  Speaker C: I know.
• 23:38
  Speaker A: Well, listen, that's also Kristen again. I'm. You know, because I love the.
• 23:43
  Speaker B: The.
• 23:44
  Speaker A: The link you are to this. That's what you also do really, really well is seeing these kids for the love that they do pour into those that love them so deeply. And, you know, like, I want the video now. Like, I and Cassie, put your videos back and forth. Here we go. I mean, I'm not kidding you. Like, I mean, the climbing in this house, I just can't. But, you know, being able to share that and celebrate that, like, essential, loving nature that if you don't.
• 24:09
  Speaker B: If you.
• 24:10
  Speaker A: If you aren't around children with profound autism, you assume that they aren't full of deep emotion. But then when you're around them or you love a mom who is their parent, and you're like, there's no way that a child of that could not be Full of such deep heart and emotion. There's zero chance. And so Kristin, seeing that is, again, it's a witness to it.
• 24:30
  Speaker C: I think that was, like, so helpful for me, too, because, you know, you were ahead of me on this, you know, game and figuring it all out. And so when, you know, I'm going through the process with Tucker, I've heard so many fun stories about Millie and Mac and, like, you know, how sassy Millie is with her, you know, talker.
• 24:49
  Speaker A: With the talker and two apples and looked over and, like, the glasses are like this.
• 24:53
  Speaker C: I love it. It's like her personality is so strong and, like, I've heard these stories for years, and, like, it's so fun and loving and just like, they are their own little person. You know that video you sent me.
• 25:06
  Speaker A: Out with Tucker, like, back in ot, and he did his little dance. He, like, used his fork and then, like, did his little dance. You're like, that's your boy.
• 25:13
  Speaker C: Yeah, like that.
• 25:15
  Speaker A: That is. That is this. That is the soul of your child right there. You know, so damn happy that he was getting his Mac and cheese and using his.
• 25:23
  Speaker B: Yeah. I just. I think that you guys don't miss any moments. Like, you do. You're able to fully digest and appreciate them. And I think because you're looking for those moments of they're going there. The connection. The connection. And it is so there. I mean, Millie, my gosh, I mean, she is literally my favorite person on the planet. Like, she does not care about, like, about what you think of her, about what you. Like, she's gonna do what she's gonna do, and she is gonna glare at you while she does it. She doesn't care. She's not. And I just. She's so often, I've never.
• 26:00
  Speaker A: I see you, like, I see that you don't want me to do that, or I see that this is not what you choose. I still don't care.
• 26:05
  Speaker B: I still don't care.
• 26:06
  Speaker A: And I'm not gonna harm you in the process. That's the whole, like, I'm not gonna hurt your feelings. I'm not gonna. I'm just gonna make it so apparent that you're in my way.
• 26:15
  Speaker B: I just genuinely have never seen I feel like a kid be so authentically themselves more than Millie. It's just. It's not like she is even more so than Matt. And maybe it's because she's. She's older and we obviously have known her longer.
• 26:29
  Speaker A: Roles are just so different, too.
• 26:31
  Speaker B: Yeah. In general, but she is just so authentically. Herself. And similarly, like, even with Tucker, like, you know, actually, I haven't seen him in a. In a minute as he's still doing the jump rope or the belt.
• 26:44
  Speaker C: The belt, yes. He's very into all the belts.
• 26:47
  Speaker B: It's just. It's. It's so often, like, this is what he likes. Like, take it or leave it, guys. I don't really care. Like, this is what I want, and I just, like, love. It just feels so pure. And you don't have to hide who you are and who you want to be or what people want you to be. Like, this is Tucker. And it's like. And you love every single bit of it.
• 27:06
  Speaker C: Totally.
• 27:07
  Speaker B: It's like, yeah.
• 27:09
  Speaker A: Yeah. Well, I mean, we could talk for hours about all this stuff, guys, but we won't bore everyone.
• 27:16
  Speaker B: Should we talk more about the real estate that we're gonna buy in the house that we're all just gonna move into?
• 27:20
  Speaker A: You have some news to share with.
• 27:21
  Speaker C: Your husband, then whatever will be like, I'm coming too.
• 27:24
  Speaker A: Yeah.
• 27:25
  Speaker C: Chuck doesn't.
• 27:26
  Speaker B: Chuck does not like to be left out. For sure.
• 27:28
  Speaker A: Okay, that's fine.
• 27:31
  Speaker B: He's not gonna be left out.
• 27:33
  Speaker A: He won't be left out. He won't be left out. Well, I just think that everyone needs to find their Kristen. And if they can't find their Kristen, they'll find someone a little more, you know, It'll never be you. And we are so thankful that we have you.
• 27:46
  Speaker B: I mean, gosh, guys, that's very, very sweet. I mean, listen, I'm just so thankful.
• 27:49
  Speaker A: For both of you.
• 27:50
  Speaker B: And like, any friendship, we. We have all in each of our lives, gone through some crazy stuff. And I feel like. I'm just so glad that we all pick our own moment of craziness, because we all can't be down at the same time. True.
• 28:02
  Speaker A: That was meant to be point. I think that was mentioned at some point. You were like, Kristen said something. She goes, if Cassie goes down right now, we cannot. This is not going to work because, like, this is happening. This is happening. Like. Like, she might be. I don't know. But if she lets me know that she's not okay, it's not going to be okay.
• 28:18
  Speaker B: It's not going to be okay. And I'm like, if Cassie goes down, you know, and ob. Again, Sarah and Cassie don't talk frequently as much between each other. But if Cassie goes down, I tell Sarah, I'm like, cassie's down. I can't. Until she can recover. You can't go down because I Don't have anything else in me. And vice versa. I'm like, only one of the three of us can be down at a time, guys.
• 28:37
  Speaker A: Maybe. Maybe Millie on her taco, she'll be like, you all need to pull yourself together 100%.
• 28:42
  Speaker C: She would tell us all that.
• 28:45
  Speaker A: She said, I'm done here. I'm done here. I'm done here. We're like, yeah, I get it. I wish I could be done here too.
• 28:54
  Speaker B: We done here, too. So, Cassie, you know how, like, Sarah and I, we always, like, have that same sill? It's silly, but that thing with, like, 11. 11. And, like, Millie just basically goes around mocking us. She goes literally, yes.
• 29:04
  Speaker A: Yeah, it goes around. It's like with Kristen at Trader Joe's. I hang up, and she's on our. On our device, and she goes to numbers. She goes, eleven. Eleven. She looks and she goes. She's like, it's like Christmas thing. I go, we love 11. She's like, 11, 11. And she chuckles.
• 29:18
  Speaker B: I feel like she literally is just gonna start, like, taunting us, like, every time we're around each other. And if she's there, she's just gonna, like, get her talker. And I just. She's just like, you guys are so irritating.
• 29:28
  Speaker A: Well, the world's go after this episode, so I'm really proud of you both.
• 29:31
  Speaker B: You guys are doing all the hard things, and you're doing them really, really well. Aunt Truly, I mean, your kids are just. They're. They're crushing it because you guys have crushed it. And I really, genuinely hope that you.
• 29:42
  Speaker A: Believe that on days that end in y. For the most part, I do.
• 29:48
  Speaker C: I'm just over here trying to survive. Okay. Keep my head above water.
• 29:53
  Speaker B: Where is your mom? Where is Vivian?
• 29:55
  Speaker C: I will be. I'm calling her as soon as we hang up. Guys.
• 29:57
  Speaker B: Literally, you're like, mom, you're supposed to be here.
• 30:00
  Speaker A: All right, I'm Stop. All right, Time, but we'll talk in a second. Offline. All right, Bye, all.
• 30:06
  Speaker B: Bye.