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Transcript

EPISODE 2- "We've Got a Following!!! Postpartum & Our Sex Drive Is On Maternity Leave" · It's Mom O'Clock

• 0:00
  Speaker A: Mama clock, mama clock 247 TikTok postpartum is so real how do all you mamas deal? Have a baby, take them home now we're spoke to act so grown up all night what a sin now my anxiety's creeping in Feel alone, not myself now my husband wants a milf Fuck that. Don't touch me I'm all touched out can't you see My body's change it's not my own Try me and I'll fake a moan Zombie mode no sign of Stop. I run the ship It's Mama Clock Hello. You guys, stop. Is it mom o'clock yet? I'm going crazy.
• 0:33
  Speaker B: Heck yeah. It's Mama Clark somewhere. Welcome back.
• 0:57
  Speaker A: Yes. I'm so excited to be here. Episode two.
• 1:00
  Speaker B: I can't believe we're on episode two right now.
• 1:03
  Speaker A: And you know what else? I can't believe we have a following.
• 1:05
  Speaker B: We have a following.
• 1:05
  Speaker A: Like, people are asking for us.
• 1:07
  Speaker B: People are waiting for this episode to drop.
• 1:10
  Speaker A: I know, it's crazy.
• 1:11
  Speaker B: Doesn't it feel so good?
• 1:12
  Speaker A: Yeah, it feels good, but so too.
• 1:14
  Speaker B: I feel like this is what the people wanted.
• 1:17
  Speaker A: I know.
• 1:18
  Speaker B: People are. Are asking for this.
• 1:20
  Speaker A: Yeah.
• 1:20
  Speaker B: From us.
• 1:21
  Speaker A: And here we are. We had a little bit of a hiatus. Hiatus. Not really, but.
• 1:25
  Speaker B: Not really.
• 1:25
  Speaker A: Our schedule's gotten the way we have kids.
• 1:27
  Speaker B: Like, what are we gonna do?
• 1:28
  Speaker A: It's hard listening to us moms out there.
• 1:30
  Speaker B: I appreciate the 10 minute increments.
• 1:31
  Speaker A: Yes. I love that. My friends are like, okay. I just listened for five minutes holding laundry and then.
• 1:36
  Speaker B: Yeah. Yeah, I love it. Cool. Well, not only do we have a.
• 1:39
  Speaker A: Following, we need people. When you watch us, when you listen to us. We need to subscribe.
• 1:45
  Speaker B: You need to like, share and subscribe. Subscribe. Subscribe to our episode.
• 1:50
  Speaker A: You press a couple buttons.
• 1:51
  Speaker B: $0.
• 1:52
  Speaker A: Yes. Just subscribe.
• 1:53
  Speaker B: All you have to do is use your fingers.
• 1:54
  Speaker A: Yes. That's it.
• 1:55
  Speaker B: Like share. Subscribe.
• 1:56
  Speaker A: Yeah.
• 1:57
  Speaker B: Do you hear me? Subscribe.
• 1:58
  Speaker A: Subscribe.
• 1:58
  Speaker B: What did I say?
• 1:59
  Speaker A: Do it. Subscribe.
• 2:00
  Speaker B: Thank you. Okay. Well, anywho, not only do we have a huge following.
• 2:04
  Speaker A: Huge. Huge. We have a partnership with. Drumroll, please. Tits. Maca.
• 2:12
  Speaker B: Look at these tits.
• 2:13
  Speaker A: She's hot.
• 2:13
  Speaker B: Hot.
• 2:14
  Speaker A: I would have a statue of her in my room.
• 2:16
  Speaker B: I don't even want to drink it. I just want to keep it displayed.
• 2:19
  Speaker A: I know. I can't believe we have a partnership with vodka. It's like my dream.
• 2:23
  Speaker B: Well, anyway, you know the drill. If it's been a day, the kind where your hair is in a claw clip, your coffee has gone Cold. And bedtime has felt like a full blown hostage negotiation. What do you do? You grab your Stanley and you pour yourself a shot of Juicy Tits vodka. It's smooth, it's gluten free vodka that is made for moms that do everything. It's distilled, clean, goes down easy. And don't forget, it is non GMO corn. Pairs perfectly with silence.
• 2:54
  Speaker A: Oh, I love that.
• 2:55
  Speaker B: Whether you're hiding in the pantry or celebrating bedtime like it's New Year's Eve. You see, tits is your new go to.
• 3:02
  Speaker A: Wait, my baby's calling me. Hold on. Hi, babe, what's up? It'll be here soon. Okay? Your belt's gonna be there soon. I. I don't know. Check for the Amazon truck, okay? I. Mommy's gotta go. I love you so much. Look, I'm on set. Gotta go.
• 3:14
  Speaker B: That was perfect. We're gonna use that.
• 3:15
  Speaker A: Okay?
• 3:16
  Speaker B: Okay. I'm just gonna say sipping with a purpose. Every bottle goes to breast cancer. It's mom o'clock somewhere. Take that shot, baby. You've earned it.
• 3:23
  Speaker A: Had a long ass day, baby on your hip, grab yourself a bottle of delicious Juicy Tits for all you grass fed organic moms out there. Distilled gluten free makes the perfect pair. Grab your big Stanley and give yourself a pour. It's Mama clock Summer. And mama needs some more. Don't feel guilty. Every sip helps fight the fight. Proceeds go to Pink Raising hope each night.
• 3:45
  Speaker B: Woo woo. All right, we're gonna try this. Let's go, baby.
• 3:48
  Speaker A: Cheers, baby. Oh, that's smooth. I don't even think I made a face.
• 3:51
  Speaker B: Oh my God.
• 3:52
  Speaker A: That's actually so good. I would do that before bedtime and be like, smooth sailing before bedtime.
• 3:58
  Speaker B: I would throw up. I am not a shot drinker.
• 4:01
  Speaker A: Oh, yeah. Oh, that's nice.
• 4:03
  Speaker B: That made me nervous.
• 4:03
  Speaker A: I like that. Juicy Tits, everyone.
• 4:05
  Speaker B: Juicy Tits Vodka. A liquor store near you. Okay.
• 4:09
  Speaker A: I needed that shot so bad. You know why? It has been spring break all week in my house.
• 4:14
  Speaker B: Three kids home, spring break.
• 4:17
  Speaker A: And like, I have never texted my husband so much. Your children.
• 4:22
  Speaker B: Let me answer you.
• 4:23
  Speaker A: Your children are doing this. And he texts back. What do you mean my children? Our children. You wanted this life. And I. And I was like, no, your child is going to drive me off.
• 4:33
  Speaker B: Which one? Oldest. Youngest.
• 4:35
  Speaker A: Well, oldest Joey is just relentless. Everything he does, he doesn't stop. He will not stop until I say yes.
• 4:43
  Speaker B: Will not the one who just called you?
• 4:44
  Speaker A: Yes. And he just called me and I forgot to put my phone on. He would probably still. He called me three times before. I just answered.
• 4:49
  Speaker B: And you didn't realize it.
• 4:51
  Speaker A: No, I saw it. But I. I mean, we're filming here.
• 4:53
  Speaker B: No, I've not.
• 4:54
  Speaker A: Relentless. I knew he wasn't going to stop.
• 4:55
  Speaker B: Yeah.
• 4:56
  Speaker A: Ugh. But I have to say, spring break's been. It's like. What day is it? Thursday. Tomorrow's Friday. It's my daughter's birthday. Her third birthday.
• 5:04
  Speaker B: I can't believe your second is three.
• 5:05
  Speaker A: I know. It's crazy.
• 5:07
  Speaker B: Crazy.
• 5:08
  Speaker A: So we went to Rhode island to visit my sister in law. Yeah. And my three year old, or almost three year old is usually in a crib. She's been in a crib her whole life. Okay. We go there. I didn't bring a second pack and play because my youngest was in the pack and play. So she slept in a regular bed.
• 5:21
  Speaker B: For the first time.
• 5:22
  Speaker A: For the first time. I can't tell you how terrifying it is to wake up in the middle of the night and see a little three foot girl in a nightgown with brown hair at your beds.
• 5:33
  Speaker B: Who is that?
• 5:34
  Speaker A: It's like the Exorcist.
• 5:35
  Speaker B: No.
• 5:36
  Speaker A: Emily Rose.
• 5:37
  Speaker B: No, the. The. With the circle ring.
• 5:39
  Speaker A: Yeah, the ring. Yeah, she was the ring girl. I literally was like, like startled by my own daughter because I'm not used to. Yeah, mommy, go back in your crib. I'm scared.
• 5:48
  Speaker B: She would scare me too.
• 5:50
  Speaker A: Terrifying.
• 5:51
  Speaker B: She's like dark skin.
• 5:53
  Speaker A: I mean, I'm not ready for her not to be in a crib because if that happens every night I'm going to have nightmares.
• 5:57
  Speaker B: No, stop. That scares me.
• 5:59
  Speaker A: It was so scary. So note to self. Cut my daughter's hair.
• 6:02
  Speaker B: No, just chop the hair off.
• 6:04
  Speaker A: Yeah.
• 6:04
  Speaker B: That's so funny.
• 6:05
  Speaker A: So. Yeah. But I've had a week that, that. Yeah.
• 6:07
  Speaker B: But spring break's over.
• 6:08
  Speaker A: I mean until Wednesday this week. Yeah. It's a long one week and a half. Yeah. Not sure why.
• 6:13
  Speaker B: I don't know if I can handle that.
• 6:15
  Speaker A: It's been a lot. My kids home and our water pipes burst. We had no water in our house. The water was split, sprinkling all over our basement. It was. It's been a week.
• 6:24
  Speaker B: I. Do you understand what that would do to me? Because you know me, I'm like clean. Like my house is clean. I would sell.
• 6:29
  Speaker A: Yeah.
• 6:30
  Speaker B: House is for sale.
• 6:31
  Speaker A: Get out.
• 6:32
  Speaker B: No for sale sign outside. No, I could never.
• 6:34
  Speaker A: Your week going.
• 6:35
  Speaker B: My week. So I've had a good week. Other than the fact that this is going to sound crazy. People are like, why aren't you Excited. We're leaving for Vegas tomorrow morning.
• 6:42
  Speaker A: Wow.
• 6:42
  Speaker B: First of all, I, like, everything needs to be done before I leave it estate. Like, I need. Everything needs to be in line. Obviously, my son is going with my mother in law, and my dog is going one of one. Going with one of my friends from home.
• 6:56
  Speaker A: All right, so you have all your bases.
• 6:57
  Speaker B: I have all my bases covered. But it's a lot like, oh, yeah.
• 7:00
  Speaker A: I mean, to think about even leaving the house.
• 7:03
  Speaker B: Yeah, leaving the house. I'm leaving. My son's going somewhere. My dog's going somewhere else. I have to get myself packed and ready. My son.
• 7:11
  Speaker A: I feel like you won't really breathe until, like, you're on the plane or landed or from.
• 7:15
  Speaker B: Landed in Vegas.
• 7:16
  Speaker A: Landed. Landed.
• 7:16
  Speaker B: Yeah. And it's supposed to be like, we're going for a wedding. It's also my husband's 35th birthday, so it's exciting. I'm ready to go. But I have never left my son. I've left my son, and I've left him for, like, more than two days. But he's never been at this state. But he's in this stage now.
• 7:30
  Speaker A: He knows you're.
• 7:31
  Speaker B: He's in the mama stage. Like, everything's mama. He knows when I'm leaving. He knows when I'm coming back. He knows when I'm doing something. Like, he knows me.
• 7:37
  Speaker A: It's definitely a lot harder when they're older as opposed to when they're just blobs, though.
• 7:42
  Speaker B: That's my struggle right now. And I know it's gonna be fine, but I'm just like, I don't do. I'm very sensitive. If, like, I get a phone call. My mother's like, everything's great. But, like, I. I didn't get him. I couldn't get him down. Like, it will just bother me.
• 7:56
  Speaker A: Right.
• 7:56
  Speaker B: And I know it's not anybody's fault.
• 7:57
  Speaker A: I'll just feel like you'll just be thinking about it.
• 7:59
  Speaker B: Yeah.
• 8:00
  Speaker A: Like, be on the blackjack table and take a shower.
• 8:02
  Speaker B: I can't play blackjack. I do roulette.
• 8:03
  Speaker A: I find roulette.
• 8:04
  Speaker B: My husband does black.
• 8:05
  Speaker A: Put all our money on Brad's heaven. But.
• 8:08
  Speaker B: But that's my struggle of the week. I just feel like I'm. I feel guilty. I feel like I'm gonna be really upset that he's gonna be upset or if he knows, like, and I know he's gonna be mama, mama, mama. And then everyone's gonna tell me that he won't stop saying mama. And then I'm really Gonna feel bad.
• 8:22
  Speaker A: Yeah. But people are.
• 8:23
  Speaker B: It's like when people tell me. Yeah, that's the problem.
• 8:25
  Speaker A: Ignorance is bliss in that.
• 8:27
  Speaker B: Just don't tell me.
• 8:27
  Speaker A: I best.
• 8:28
  Speaker B: When people don't tell me.
• 8:29
  Speaker A: Yeah. And honestly I found. I mean, I haven't left my kids so much, but FaceTiming sometimes is harder. Cause then they see you.
• 8:35
  Speaker B: Yes.
• 8:36
  Speaker A: And then they.
• 8:36
  Speaker B: And I feel bad. Not FaceTime. But I feel better when I don't. I'm literally the placebo effect. If tell me.
• 8:41
  Speaker A: Yeah.
• 8:41
  Speaker B: I won't. It won't bother me.
• 8:43
  Speaker A: Right.
• 8:44
  Speaker B: So just let him live his life and then I will come home to him.
• 8:47
  Speaker A: Yes.
• 8:47
  Speaker B: So that's my struggle of the week. But it's absolutely, positively fine. I know everything's gonna be good. Yeah.
• 8:51
  Speaker A: And you're gonna.
• 8:52
  Speaker B: I'm excited. I'm so excited. We're leaving Tom tomorrow morning and I. We love Vegas. We went the half of our end of our honeymoon. So we're excited to be back. And like we're not in the party era, but we could still, you know, Party. Yeah.
• 9:04
  Speaker A: Yeah. Live your best life.
• 9:05
  Speaker B: I'm excited. It's gonna be fun.
• 9:07
  Speaker A: Okay. Anyhow, our topic, our first topic.
• 9:09
  Speaker B: Let's get into it. I'm really excited for this week, episode two, because it really resonates with me. We're going to be talking about all things postpartum as well as relationships after a baby.
• 9:21
  Speaker A: Yes. All about relationships.
• 9:22
  Speaker B: All. All about it. And we're going to get pretty deep. So I'm excited in the sense I feel like it's just. I mean, I don't know about anybody else, but I do best when I talk about things.
• 9:32
  Speaker A: Yeah. We like to talk it out.
• 9:33
  Speaker B: We like to talk it out. And that's what we're gonna do. So anyway, we're gonna start with postpartum. I feel like this is a very wide range subject.
• 9:42
  Speaker A: Yes.
• 9:42
  Speaker B: It.
• 9:43
  Speaker A: And I just like everybody has their own experience and no experiences better or worse. It's just we're talking about our experiences and what we went through.
• 9:51
  Speaker B: Yeah. And it again, we don't know facts.
• 9:54
  Speaker A: But I know some. We research some things, which I will without.
• 9:57
  Speaker B: We did a little bit of research. But anyway, this is all just from my experience and it is so general. It is so different from anybody else's story. But I'm hoping that some people can relate.
• 10:10
  Speaker A: Yeah.
• 10:10
  Speaker B: And even like chime in because again, I'm still on the path of health and struggle, so. Path of recovery. That shot really did me good. By the way. That piece is still Lingering in my mouth. It's so good.
• 10:23
  Speaker A: I could have another.
• 10:24
  Speaker B: Do you want to have another? Have another. Have another. I'm not a good shot taker, but that vodka is an 11 out of 10.
• 10:31
  Speaker A: It is, like, so smooth, I can't even tell you. I'll do like a baby, you know?
• 10:35
  Speaker B: But like, it's like. It's like drinking water, literally. A little bit harder.
• 10:38
  Speaker A: No, it's still good. I always make that shot face. But yes, seriously. So I'm like a Tito's Grey Goose, but, like, juicy tithe. Here we are.
• 10:46
  Speaker B: I'm definitely taking that with me to Vegas.
• 10:48
  Speaker A: Oh, yeah. Pack.
• 10:49
  Speaker B: Packing it with me. Okay, so let's just get into it. I feel like I want to start off with my birth story. Quick and easy. Not easy, but, like, quick.
• 10:56
  Speaker A: Yeah, Just do a little story. Because no one, really?
• 10:58
  Speaker B: Yeah.
• 10:58
  Speaker A: I feel like when moms ask, like, oh, how was your labor? How was your birth story? Like, they don't really care.
• 11:03
  Speaker B: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 11:04
  Speaker A: I mean, they might care a little bit.
• 11:05
  Speaker B: No. Do you have a C section or natural? Like, that's the Always the base.
• 11:08
  Speaker A: Like, a little gist.
• 11:09
  Speaker B: By the way, both are hard. So I had a very good pregnancy. I was huge. I gained about like 60, 70 pounds. Fine. But I was pretty big. But really good pregnancy.
• 11:18
  Speaker A: I love when people get big.
• 11:20
  Speaker B: You really do. It's like, awful. Anyway, really good pregnancy. And not that I enjoyed it. I couldn't wait for the baby to come out. I was easy. You're so weird.
• 11:29
  Speaker A: I love everything about.
• 11:30
  Speaker B: I know. That's why I know you're going to have a fourth and it's stressing me out to think about.
• 11:33
  Speaker A: I'm not. I might.
• 11:35
  Speaker B: Are you pregnant?
• 11:35
  Speaker A: Yeah. Juicy tits announcement.
• 11:37
  Speaker B: Yeah. So, all right. So really good pregnancy. And I was induced, first of all.
• 11:42
  Speaker A: With your pregnancy, did you feel extra hormonal? Like, more anxiety or.
• 11:47
  Speaker B: No, I was so chill.
• 11:48
  Speaker A: Oh, so that's cool.
• 11:49
  Speaker B: Yeah.
• 11:49
  Speaker A: Good for your husband. Thank God. Chill, I mean, chill for her is like.
• 11:53
  Speaker B: Yeah, like, I'm not chill.
• 11:55
  Speaker A: No, her chill level is an 11 out of 10. Chill level is zero if you're chill.
• 12:02
  Speaker B: I had too much espresso. Really easy pregnancy.
• 12:04
  Speaker A: Good.
• 12:04
  Speaker B: But I wasn't dilating. It was due date, so they induced me. I was like, let's go. I'm too big for this. Went in. They induced me. I got the balloon. Didn't hurt. Everyone was like, it's going to be the worst part. Nothing I talked about. Yeah, it was easy, breezy, dilated to six and a Half centimeters. I was like, a. I was watching, like, Chicago P Day, my favorite show, enjoying my life. I was like, oh, this is gonna be so much fun.
• 12:24
  Speaker A: So.
• 12:24
  Speaker B: And I was induced. I said that already. Six and a half centimeters. Then it started to take a turn. I wasn't dilating anymore. Fine. They gave me an epidural because I started to feel contractions.
• 12:34
  Speaker A: Thank God for epidurals.
• 12:35
  Speaker B: Doesn't work.
• 12:36
  Speaker A: Oh, that's terrible.
• 12:37
  Speaker B: Yeah. Then they gave me. I don't know. I don't know names. I'm not a doctor. I don't know this shit. But they gave me another pain med. Didn't work. Dilated about, like, seven and a half, eight centimeters. Gave me another epidural.
• 12:46
  Speaker A: Epidural.
• 12:47
  Speaker B: Didn't work, mind you. I'm contracting. I'm praying to the Lord up above to save me. That's literally what I'm doing. My poor husband. And doesn't work. Pain meds. Doesn't work. Now, this is long. Like 21 hours. Get to nine and a half centimeters. They gave me a third epidural. I'm convulsing at this point.
• 13:02
  Speaker A: Yeah.
• 13:02
  Speaker B: Doesn't work. Doesn't work. No pain meds. Nine and a half centimeters. I'm screaming on the top. I'm not even screaming because I'm in so much pain. I'm not even.
• 13:09
  Speaker A: Okay. Just like.
• 13:10
  Speaker B: Doctor comes in, she's like, all right, we're gonna push. I'm like, I'm nine and a half centimeters. Like, we're gonna push.
• 13:14
  Speaker A: Open that baby up.
• 13:15
  Speaker B: Legs are spread, and my husband's in there, and we see hair. He's halfway out. I'm like, oh, this is great. I felt so much relief. It was the best part of my day after, like, 18 hours. So I pushed for probably, like, two hours. Comes halfway out. She goes, all right, we're gonna. We're gonna hold off for another 45 minutes to an hour.
• 13:33
  Speaker A: Hold.
• 13:33
  Speaker B: Hold off. He's halfway out of my chotch. What do you mean, hold off? She has me sit there, and now.
• 13:38
  Speaker A: He'S the baby hanging out.
• 13:39
  Speaker B: Hanging out. Now it's probably, like, two hours. She comes back, and she has me push again. Yeah, she's, like, calling it C section. Grey's Anatomy scene. Everyone's throwing shit, packing bags. He's getting a gown on him. I'm like, what makes you think I'm gonna have a C section? I had no pain meds. Nothing worked. And now you're gonna hit me with that block and you're gonna pull a baby out of me. And it's gonna be like in a movie scene where I'm gonna feel everything.
• 14:01
  Speaker A: Oh, that's terrifying.
• 14:02
  Speaker B: Absolutely. I'm freaking out. And, like, usually surgery doesn't scare me, but, like, after the day, I was like, what? And the baby wasn't even in distress. It was me. I was, like, in severe pain. I was, like, shaking. So they call it. It was like a crazy, dramatic scene. I'm not going to go into it, but just picture like a Grey's Anatomy.
• 14:18
  Speaker A: Just rushing, rushing, crazy.
• 14:19
  Speaker B: I'm like.
• 14:19
  Speaker A: Because they have to take you right to the.
• 14:21
  Speaker B: And I'm like, I feel everything right now. Do not cut me open. To the point where the resident I remember literally was like, everybody. And I'm like, tied to table. Hands off is happening. Because she was telling everybody to, like, calm the fuck down. So anyway, they cut me open. Baby comes out. He was nine pounds. I'm five foot, baby.
• 14:38
  Speaker A: She five foot nothing. Thighs ain't even touching.
• 14:41
  Speaker B: They do touch. And so nine pounds, whatever. So that was like kind of a horror story. It didn't really, like, affect me. I wasn't like, I'm never having a baby again. But.
• 14:48
  Speaker A: But did you black out? Like, do you actually remember the pace? Do you remember the feeling of the pain? Because I feel like I blocked that out.
• 14:54
  Speaker B: No, I remember it. And it doesn't really bother me. Like, I'm telling you this story because I feel like it doesn't have to do with my postpartum.
• 15:00
  Speaker A: Okay.
• 15:00
  Speaker B: But I feel like some people that go through that, it does because it was like, trauma. Yeah, it was definitely trauma.
• 15:06
  Speaker A: Yeah. Yeah.
• 15:07
  Speaker B: And maybe I am like, Maybe it's psychological. In the back of my brain, it just, like, sits, like, subconsciously.
• 15:12
  Speaker A: So that is what you call an emergency C section.
• 15:14
  Speaker B: Yes. But, like, usually it's the baby that's in distress. And it wasn't. It was like, I was the emergency. I was the problem.
• 15:19
  Speaker A: You were the problem.
• 15:20
  Speaker B: Yeah, I'm always the problem. I stayed in the hospital for, like, two days, and then we go home and, you know, you're flooded with family and friends. Everybody's here helping with the baby. I had a.
• 15:32
  Speaker A: Did you feel like you were on, like, a high or you didn't feel that right away?
• 15:35
  Speaker B: That's a good question. Eight fell. No, because I was bedridden for about. I recovered quickly from a C section. Usually people don't. Like, I was talking to my friend the other day. She's like, I couldn't even hold my baby for two weeks. My mom had to do everything. And I'm like, I slept upstairs while everybody, like my mom, my mother in law, my husband and the baby were down here and they were doing everything. But I still probably by the third, fourth night, was holding the baby, feeding him, even changing diapers like I was doing.
• 16:00
  Speaker A: Yeah.
• 16:00
  Speaker B: But the night I was sleeping to just get my rest, to recover.
• 16:03
  Speaker A: Right.
• 16:04
  Speaker B: So. But I was. I recovered pretty quickly. But I wouldn't say I was on a high. I felt more stress than I did love. So that was probably trigger one. But I should have.
• 16:15
  Speaker A: You were expecting a different feeling.
• 16:17
  Speaker B: I was expecting. That's a good point. I think I was expecting a whole different. I mean, delivery, I guess.
• 16:22
  Speaker A: Yeah.
• 16:22
  Speaker B: And experience. And I am an anticipator. So I think now that I'm thinking about it, everybody's here taking care. I know they're going to stay for like the next couple weeks. I was already anticipating everybody leaving.
• 16:34
  Speaker A: Right.
• 16:34
  Speaker B: So I think I ruined my time.
• 16:36
  Speaker A: You were thinking about the next.
• 16:37
  Speaker B: Yes. So I think that's what started everything. So that was a little bit of a struggle. Oh, no, I don't think I was on a high.
• 16:44
  Speaker A: Right.
• 16:44
  Speaker B: Right from the jump. But again, that's okay. And then I was good for a while. I was like, this is easy. We're getting good, we're getting fun. Like, my husband's getting back into the groove of his life. I'm having a lot of help right now. Everybody's like all hands on deck.
• 16:57
  Speaker A: So, like, people are bringing food.
• 16:59
  Speaker B: Yeah. Not that I didn't feel love. I just felt like I didn't feel the anxiety yet.
• 17:04
  Speaker A: Did you. Do you think you suffered from postpartum depression and anxiety or just anxiety?
• 17:08
  Speaker B: Again, I'm not a doctor, but in my head, depression is. Can't leave my room, can't leave the house, Crying every day, curled up in a ball, can't hold my baby. Like, I feel doomed.
• 17:19
  Speaker A: Okay, so you were.
• 17:19
  Speaker B: I didn't have that. I was my normal self.
• 17:22
  Speaker A: Yeah. I mean, to you. To me.
• 17:24
  Speaker B: Yeah. I know. I definitely. I definitely wasn't. But I'm saying I don't think to me, depression, I mean, depression looks different. It does look different. But to me, like, I know myself and if I was depressed, I wouldn't feel the happiness I felt. I was like.
• 17:38
  Speaker A: Like there were moments.
• 17:39
  Speaker B: Yeah. Yeah, definitely. I just, definitely was anxiety. Like, I just was like I was anticipating.
• 17:45
  Speaker A: We were talking about anxiety. Like, to me, postpartum anxiety is intrusive thoughts. Like.
• 17:51
  Speaker B: Yeah.
• 17:52
  Speaker A: Like you're sitting on a couch holding your Baby, your baby's safe. But like, you picture your baby falling off a cliff.
• 17:57
  Speaker B: Yeah. That is what I did not experience.
• 17:59
  Speaker A: Okay.
• 17:59
  Speaker B: And a lot of people I've talked to with the same type of experience that I had had that. Oh, my God, I was walking down the steps, and every time I walked down the steps, I thought I was gonna throw my baby overboard.
• 18:09
  Speaker A: Right.
• 18:09
  Speaker B: Like, I never had any of that.
• 18:10
  Speaker A: Okay.
• 18:11
  Speaker B: I was anticipating the bigger things.
• 18:14
  Speaker A: Okay.
• 18:14
  Speaker B: Getting back into routine, leaving the house and going to the store. And I wasn't worried about anything happening to the baby or me. I was just, like, worried about packing the bag and him in the car seat and, you know, is he, like, going to be crying the whole time I am driving?
• 18:28
  Speaker A: Yeah.
• 18:29
  Speaker B: What if I have a stomach ache? Like, how am I going to go to the bathroom? I have a newborn. Like, do I take him to the bathroom with me? Like, I was anxiety about all of that. I wasn't worried about any damaging happening to me or the baby.
• 18:41
  Speaker A: So that's like a different type. But.
• 18:42
  Speaker B: Yeah.
• 18:44
  Speaker A: And anything that you say, like, it might not be. It may make zero sense to me and our listeners.
• 18:48
  Speaker B: I feel like I'm not even making. Honestly, when you have that, you don't even feel like you're making sense.
• 18:52
  Speaker A: It's not logical.
• 18:53
  Speaker B: No.
• 18:53
  Speaker A: Yeah.
• 18:54
  Speaker B: Anxiety is made up in your head. It is a.
• 18:57
  Speaker A: But it's a real.
• 18:58
  Speaker B: It's a real feeling. You have real symptoms. That's what I try to explain to everybody. It's. It's made up. You make it up yourself, but you really do feel it. So it's not false.
• 19:06
  Speaker A: Right.
• 19:07
  Speaker B: Like, you're feeling what you're feeling. Your feelings are valid and.
• 19:09
  Speaker A: But also because of that, it's hard for the outsiders to understand what you're.
• 19:14
  Speaker B: Going to have it.
• 19:15
  Speaker A: Yeah.
• 19:15
  Speaker B: And again, back to episode one. I am the girl who has it all together, and she's always okay. So no one ever thought like.
• 19:22
  Speaker A: Right.
• 19:22
  Speaker B: And they still don't. Even if I talk about and tell someone, like, it's true.
• 19:26
  Speaker A: It's weird because, like, you really seem like even when you're talking about your problems, you. You're.
• 19:31
  Speaker B: I know.
• 19:31
  Speaker A: You're so analytical in your head that, like, you. You know what you're saying, you know the problems you're going through, but like, you're suffering.
• 19:38
  Speaker B: Yeah.
• 19:38
  Speaker A: Inside.
• 19:39
  Speaker B: Yeah. Yeah. I. A lot of my issues are related to my stomach and this is connected. And I'm still trying to pinpoint what bothered me because I. I had the blues in a sense where, like, everybody Was leaving me at the end of the day, which is so normal. But I think it. Because I was going back to work three months later, which. Fuck that.
• 20:01
  Speaker A: Fuck that.
• 20:01
  Speaker B: I think it's so outrageous that moms are forced to go back to work in three months soon.
• 20:07
  Speaker A: That's a baby blob still.
• 20:09
  Speaker B: I went back in three months for a week, and I quit my job, which, again, I wasn't like, I can't wait to quit my job. I'm going to stay at home, mom. Like, it was a very hard decision for me. Still is.
• 20:17
  Speaker A: And I think that weighed on you, too.
• 20:19
  Speaker B: Weighed on me. Okay. So that definitely had to do with it. And me personally, my anxiety, Like, a lot of people are like, I have anxiety to, you know, walk out the door. Like, I get so nervous. I have that anxiety, too, but it goes straight to my stomach.
• 20:34
  Speaker A: And so I have to go to the bathroom.
• 20:36
  Speaker B: I have cramps, and I like, okay, well, now I can't leave because I have to go to the bathroom. That is where my anxiety sits. Right here.
• 20:42
  Speaker A: Yeah.
• 20:42
  Speaker B: All in my stomach. I don't shake. I don't get headaches. I don't speak differently. I don't get quiet. I don't. I don't get any of, like, the normal symptoms you would see if you Google. I literally have a stomachache, and then it resorts to food. Now it's like, okay, well, I'm not going to eat. But now I feel even more sick because now I'm not gonna eat because I have to leave the house, and I don't want to go to. Like, that is where I'm at anyway. I want to go off topic, but I had a little bit of blues, and then I went back to work, and I didn't feel right. So I left my job. And I was just salty because I'm like, I deserve. We, as moms deserve more time off. And my job didn't give me that. And no matter what I did, I was in sales, and I came back to nothing. I was a very successful saleswoman, and I came back to zero business. So not only did no one take care of my business like they were supposed to, because that's what I left for them. I felt, like, so low in my career. I'm like, how do I leave for three months? Like, is it. Was it my clients? Like, did they not appreciate me where they didn't want to stick around or I can't blame anybody else, right? Because. And then I felt guilty. Like, now I was gone for three months, and I Just so I just quit. And it was. That wasn't the reason I want to be home with my son. But it was just a lot to take in.
• 21:49
  Speaker A: Yeah.
• 21:49
  Speaker B: And I'm the type and all or nothing. So I just left. And I think that weighed in on a lot of my anxiety. And then I want to point out the fact that. And I'm sure everybody knows this, but your husband's life goes back to normal. Right. They also had a baby. Their life does change because they have.
• 22:06
  Speaker A: A new life involved. For men, it's like something is added into their life. A baby. Which is amazing.
• 22:13
  Speaker B: Yeah.
• 22:13
  Speaker A: But nothing else really changes so much for them. Like our bodies change, our emotions change. We as our identity for me at least just changed completely overnight. And now I'm this mom. And yes, he's a dad. But like he's still doing the same things he did yesterday. And I'm just doing so many different things.
• 22:31
  Speaker B: Yeah. And I think this really weighed in on me. I am the top of the totem pole, Always in charge, leader of the pack. Just. Everyone just swarms to me. And I feel. I felt so isolated and so alone.
• 22:44
  Speaker A: And like you weren't used to feeling those feelings.
• 22:47
  Speaker B: And I was never used to feeling that. Even if I used to love to be alone. And now I can't wait for my husband to walk through the door and the. No, you really.
• 22:55
  Speaker A: I hate being alone. And that's why I think I love having so many babies around me. Because I'm never alone.
• 23:00
  Speaker B: See, that's why I'm not a newborn stage mom.
• 23:02
  Speaker A: Yeah.
• 23:03
  Speaker B: Because now he's 14 months and I'm obsessed because he communicates with me. In the beginning I was actually alone because he was just a. So anyway, back to what I was saying. I was. Felt so alone. I felt so isolated. And my husband got up and did the same things he always did. He got up, he got dressed, he walked out the door. He went to work. He did whatever he needed to do. He can go to the bathroom on his own. He can get a cup of coffee on his own. He can go get a haircut if he wants. He can do his normal day to day. Whereas I had to get used to the fact that I had to ask, can I go to the bathroom? Do you mind just watching him? Can you come here real quick so I can, you know, go to the store real quick? Can you come here real quick so I can get my nails done, my hair, anything that I wanted to do? Can. I had to ask. And it was just not something That I realized needed to be done. It's like, a given, but you don't. You're not ever told that. And the hardest part for me was, I think, explaining to my husband.
• 24:00
  Speaker A: Yeah, that's what I was gonna say. I think that it's really hard for your partner that didn't go through the labor and the delivery and all the hormonal changes to actually fully comprehend how different we feel.
• 24:12
  Speaker B: Yeah.
• 24:12
  Speaker A: As humans.
• 24:14
  Speaker B: And I. Right. And I didn't struggle with the body image. I didn't. Breastfeeding didn't bother me. Like, I didn't produce. So I didn't bother me at all. People are upset about it. Did not. Nothing of that factored into my anxiety, which you look up online. Like, those are, like, the main factors. None of that bothered me. I even felt so bad to have this conversation with my husband because 1. I. He is so not. He is the opposite in the sense of, like, anxiety. Like, what bothers me doesn't bother him, which is good. Like, we weigh each other out. But it's also very hard for me to explain to him how if you don't feel what I feel.
• 24:45
  Speaker A: Right.
• 24:46
  Speaker B: And I had struggle just to explain. It almost came out as anger. Like, how don't you understand this?
• 24:50
  Speaker A: Like, I just had a baby.
• 24:52
  Speaker B: I just dropped my career. I have to, you know, do the same thing and figure it out as a new mom every day, all day. And you do. You do the same. And I'm even saying it in an angry way now, and it's hard because I don't want to be angry.
• 25:08
  Speaker A: Yeah.
• 25:09
  Speaker B: But it just. That's my emotion that I feel that I felt like it almost to him comes off as it's his fault.
• 25:15
  Speaker A: Right.
• 25:15
  Speaker B: And that's probably how I was saying it and how I probably do say it now. But I don't know how else to.
• 25:19
  Speaker A: Even though it really wasn't. Because you chose. I chose to leave work. Yeah.
• 25:22
  Speaker B: He didn't tell me I have to leave. He didn't tell me I have to up and quit my job and take care of the baby. He would have let me do anything.
• 25:28
  Speaker A: Right.
• 25:28
  Speaker B: He would have been like, you know, even, like, the first week we didn't have our babysitting figured out, he didn't work for, like, that first Thursday. And he owns. He owns a company. So, like, you know, he figures it out for me. But I. I just was like. And still am. Like, you are not understanding that I don't get to just do whatever I want. I have to answer to somebody. And I'm not used to that. It's really. And. And also, I get really overwhelmed with making sure everything's good. Like, I. It's hard for me to leave the house because. Not because I'm scared, because, like, before, my mom came to get the baby, and I'm like, okay, does he have this? I want to make sure.
• 26:06
  Speaker A: Yeah.
• 26:06
  Speaker B: I want to make sure everything's good for her.
• 26:08
  Speaker A: That's the type A in you, Cor.
• 26:10
  Speaker B: I was trying to explain to my husband, you know, this is how I feel. You're not understanding that. This is why, you know, when you walk through the door, I'm so vava Lou.
• 26:20
  Speaker A: But I think that's. It goes into the whole postpartum. It's like, our bodies went through a lot for nine months, and then we went through a lot during labor. And then we're handed this baby, and we have to figure out a new normal for our lives that mesh with our husband, too, because we want them to be happy. We don't want to blame them because we're stuck in this life. Like, we. We all wanted this.
• 26:40
  Speaker B: And I almost. And I don't even know if I could say this, but I'm going to say it anyway. Like, I almost had Gl, And I was like, what did I do?
• 26:47
  Speaker A: Yeah, you know what? A lot of people have said that.
• 26:50
  Speaker B: I'm like.
• 26:50
  Speaker A: I was talking to my girlfriend. She actually said that.
• 26:53
  Speaker B: I'm like, what did we do? And I. Instead of, like, being the opposite and just, like, trying to be, you know, positive and lovey and. And, you know, kiss my husband good night every night and give hugs when he walks in the door. Like, the feeling just wasn't there for me. I was like. I was so sad that we were leaving a part of us behind that I forgot to remember that this is a beautiful thing that we just did. Like, I heard a song the other day in the car. I didn't think. I even told him this. It reminded me of us. And.
• 27:28
  Speaker A: She'S gonna cry.
• 27:29
  Speaker B: I know. I'm really emotional. Just let everybody know I'm a big crier.
• 27:33
  Speaker A: It's okay.
• 27:34
  Speaker B: I know I said I was gonna cry on here.
• 27:36
  Speaker A: Well, it's a really tough subject to talk about.
• 27:39
  Speaker B: It is I just.
• 27:40
  Speaker A: Because your. Your son is just one. Like, you're still in it.
• 27:43
  Speaker B: It's almost like. I also feel bad talking about all this, but I just want to be so relatable that it's, like, so normal. It doesn't mean you don't love your kid, because I Am obsessed with my child and I can't wait to just, like, grow with him. But back to what I was just saying. I heard a song in the car and it just like, reminded me of, like, me and Michael when we were like, I don't know, just like, giddy. And I'm like, I'm sad. I felt really sad for, like, the time that I was listening to. I was like, my God, like, where's that emotion? Where is that, like, connection, like, is ever gonna come back again?
• 28:13
  Speaker A: And it will.
• 28:14
  Speaker B: It's there in moments, but, you know, you don't have it every day anymore.
• 28:17
  Speaker A: Yeah.
• 28:18
  Speaker B: So it's just sad, like, to just remember those times as the past because you wish it was the present. But my life is different. Our life is different. And it's hard to. It's hard to be who you used to be.
• 28:30
  Speaker A: Yeah.
• 28:30
  Speaker B: But I am at the place where I'm starting to love the new life.
• 28:35
  Speaker A: Yes.
• 28:36
  Speaker B: That's where you have to get to.
• 28:37
  Speaker A: And it's like there is light at the end of the tunnel.
• 28:40
  Speaker B: Yes. And it's so hard to see because I am an all in person. I give a hundred percent to my relationships, my friendships, my children, my parents, my siblings. And I don't give 100% to my relationship. And I know that. But it's hard for me to try to deal with my anxiety and raise my son the way I want to raise him. So he doesn't identify his mother as, like, anxiety, this really anxious person. I also don't want him to be really anxious. And I think I do a good job at that. I hope, but it doesn't.
• 29:13
  Speaker A: We'll find out.
• 29:13
  Speaker B: We'll find out if he starts to shake in like three years. But I. I'm the type that I need to be okay with leaving that in the past. And I wasn't. I was almost like, trying to pick at it in the wrong way. I was like, being angry at the fact that we didn't have that anymore. And instead of being like, oh, my God, remember this? Like, do you miss it? I wasn't. I was like, I was taking out. Like, you don't understand. Like, I'm different. This is different. My life is different. And to him, it's like, why are you angry with me? But to me, it's like, I just miss us.
• 29:42
  Speaker A: Yeah.
• 29:42
  Speaker B: And I miss our life and I miss what we used to do and be and have to. You know, we could just do whatever we want and we still do.
• 29:50
  Speaker A: Yeah.
• 29:51
  Speaker B: We just have a kid, but it feels different.
• 29:53
  Speaker A: Yeah, of course. Because you have this little being that.
• 29:57
  Speaker B: Yeah.
• 29:57
  Speaker A: In your family now.
• 29:59
  Speaker B: And I'm still trying to. And I hope I'm. I'm making sense. There's just so much like, again, this is like my anxiety. There's so much in my head that I want to say and that. What I feel, I just. I want to. You want to be the best mom, you want to be the best wife, you want to be the best friend. But it's hard. And I didn't mention, like, when I had the baby, my brother got married, my best friend got married. I was a maid of honor. My other two best friends got married. I was in their wedding. You have to remember what goes with it. The showers, all the parties and just showers. She has never been to one shower.
• 30:32
  Speaker A: Besides hate showers. Don't ever invite me to a shower.
• 30:34
  Speaker B: She won't go. But I was doing. And I was that friend that was always there. So it was to other people. It was shown that I wasn't because I had a baby. And that was also hard for me because I didn't realize how much I wasn't present. But I also feel like no one gave me grace that I had a baby.
• 30:51
  Speaker A: Well, just to touch on that. I feel like you don't really understand, especially with just with friends in general. I was one of the first. I think we were both, for the first time I was in our friend group. And it is hard. It's really hard to navigate that relationship with your friends when you're going through something that they have no idea. Motherhood is hard and like, you're in your own little bubble and it's really hard to maintain the same kind of friendships that you've had post having a baby.
• 31:16
  Speaker B: And that's exactly how I felt. And I thought I was giving 100%.
• 31:21
  Speaker A: Yeah, shut the fuck up.
• 31:22
  Speaker B: Fuck up and move on. But I want to finish this thought real quick. It's okay. We can. We can always cut it down. But thank you for that.
• 31:28
  Speaker A: Can I have a drink? She's making me nervous. Talked about herself for fucking 35.
• 31:33
  Speaker B: I know. Is that too much? I talk too much about myself, but I wanted to. I forgot. I feel like I forgot a lot apart. But I feel like, okay, so everybody was getting married and everybody was doing the things and they were all together. Right. So not only did I feel like I wasn't doing a good job as a friend, they were all like hanging out and doing the thing together. And I already did the thing and I had a baby. So I was like, doing all this by myself. And I didn't even expect anybody to, like, be there for me because I never do, but I felt like they expected me to be there for me for them. And I tried so hard. I really, really did, but I guess it wasn't shown. But I was also struggling. Not only did I have a baby and tried to show up, I was used to feeling on top of the world, and I didn't. And I also was dealing with my own struggles. And I know I said I didn't have body image issues, but I also was, like 40 pounds overweight, so nothing fit me. And I had to go to all these parties and look nice, and I didn't feel right. And you don't understand it until you're a mom. You just don't. And I, I'm the culprit of that. I didn't realize, like, why are you bailing? Why aren't you coming to the bachelorette? Like, I get it, right? And so I just, I do. I feel, I, I, I just struggled a lot with all that because I'm like, I feel extra alone because everybody's going through all this shit is happy moments together and I'm not there, and I can't enjoy it. And they, you know, no one.
• 32:42
  Speaker A: That's why you messed up. You know why. Why should I had a baby during COVID when no one was doing anything.
• 32:47
  Speaker B: When we met, though, and should have baby the first night I met him. Right, hon?
• 32:51
  Speaker A: Yeah, baby. Woo. So I had a baby during the heart of COVID The world was shut down. It was 2020, and it was. It was great in a sense, because, like, I was £200, sitting on the couch, eating penne vodka and cheeseburgers by myself and my mom. Like, so I didn't feel like the FOMO of missing out on, like, my friends getting married and all that. My labor and delivery story was during COVID So, like, I was scared that my husband wasn't even gonna be in the hospital with me delivering. And, like, you hear story, you heard stories about that. And I was like, oh, my God, like, is this gonna happen at our hospital? I was so. That was like, my biggest. Like, I was so nervous about that. And I also wanted my mom, but my husband shot that down so quick. And you really only were allowed to have one person.
• 33:37
  Speaker B: The mom can't come.
• 33:38
  Speaker A: I'm sorry. Your mom cannot come. Sorry, mom. But so my labor was, with my first. I'm talking about was 2020 Covid, really hard labor. I pushed for three. Three minutes, three and a half hours. He wouldn't not come out. And I remember, like, laying there on the table, sweating, sweating bullets. So much so that I got completely naked. I ripped off the hospital gown. I had to be in a mask. I had a mask on. I can't imagine that everyone had a mask on. And I was like, I can't push. I can't breathe in this mask. And finally, like, while I was pushing, my doctor, like, was like, all right, you can rip it off.
• 34:13
  Speaker B: That is crazy that they forced you.
• 34:14
  Speaker A: They forced you. Like, seriously forced you.
• 34:16
  Speaker B: That's insane.
• 34:16
  Speaker A: So they forced me to wear the mask. I ripped it off. I ripped off my gown. I'm. I'm laying there butt ass naked. My husband is pouring water on me. I'll never forget. My doctor was like, if we weren't in the labor room right now, I would think this was some weird fucking porno.
• 34:33
  Speaker B: You love that. You love that.
• 34:35
  Speaker A: It was wild. So he. After. After pushing and pushing, he finally. They had to use, like, a vacuum. Like, I just couldn't get it together. I. I guess I was a bad pusher. I don't know. I could not get him out. And they used, like, the vacuum to help, and they finally got him out. But when he came out, he wasn't breathing. He, like, you're. You expect the. The. The biggest thing when you push out the baby, you want to hear them cry because that means they're getting oxygen and they're like, okay. But he didn't. And they took him right away, away from me. And I was like, what's wrong? Why isn't he crying? But I, like, wasn't. I wasn't really, like, in it because I was just so exhausted from being, like, full on pushing for that long, thinking straight. They were like. He actually had. He had two strokes, and then for the next, like, three days, he had a bunch of seizures. So we were in the nicu. Long story short, he's okay. But, like, it was. It was just, like, a tough, tough delivery.
• 35:28
  Speaker B: He's five. Four. Five.
• 35:30
  Speaker A: He's four now.
• 35:31
  Speaker B: And perfect.
• 35:31
  Speaker A: And perfect. Yeah, he's. He's out of the seizures. He's. He had to be on seizure meds for the first, like, year of his life.
• 35:36
  Speaker B: But I remember that. Remember the picture you sent us with the woman?
• 35:39
  Speaker A: Yeah, he had the. On his.
• 35:41
  Speaker B: Yeah.
• 35:41
  Speaker A: On his. Yeah. So we were in the NICU during COVID which was crazy because you couldn't even have your phone. You had to add your phones in a plastic bag. You had to have Gloves on. You had to hold, like, hazmat suit, really. And you couldn't have any visitors. And our baby was in a little NICU bubble, so it was really, really hard. Like, no one could. No one came to visit. Which, actually, looking back now, I love that no one comes to visit at the hospital.
• 36:05
  Speaker B: Yeah.
• 36:05
  Speaker A: So nice. Especially with my second and third. It was a vacation.
• 36:09
  Speaker B: You. You remember no one was allowed to come, right?
• 36:11
  Speaker A: No visitors. With our second and third, you could, but we were just like, no visitors. We just, like, loved the vacation away. It was so nice. I think with my third, I, like, had a bottle of wine. I was like, this is the best hotel ever.
• 36:23
  Speaker B: I remember you saying that.
• 36:25
  Speaker A: So that was good. But my first labor was hard. My second and third were very easy. Like, pushed for 10 minutes and they were out. And I could honestly say I enjoy giving birth. Like, I think that it's fun. I like the challenge of it. I like the excitement of, like, going to the hospital. I really do. I. And it's not to say that I.
• 36:44
  Speaker B: Didn'T know nothing about that. About it.
• 36:46
  Speaker A: I remember with my third, I was like, like, genuinely, like, excited to, like, pack the bag.
• 36:50
  Speaker B: Yeah.
• 36:50
  Speaker A: I remember I was like, yes, we're going. Like, we're doing this, and it was fun.
• 36:54
  Speaker B: Like, it literally is a vacation for you. I thought it was something else.
• 36:57
  Speaker A: But I did get the epidural. I got everything. And it was all. It was all fine. But. And then my postpartum experience, I really didn't have, like, I definitely didn't have anxiety, and I don't think I had depression, but I. But I was in this world where the world was shut down. I was in my bubble.
• 37:15
  Speaker B: We talked about this. This is a huge factor.
• 37:17
  Speaker A: Yeah. And. And, like, I didn't have to make any big life decisions. Like, I wasn't going back to work. I knew I wasn't going back to work. I knew that my life was, like, saying, like, I. I didn't have any big.
• 37:27
  Speaker B: Right. Like, it was saying the same, like. Like. And also, you told me this yesterday. You're in Covet. So the world was shut down. No one was doing anything around you. Right. So neither were you. So when you have a baby, your world kind of shuts down, like Covid did, but no one else's does. But at your time, it does. So you really didn't miss out on.
• 37:41
  Speaker A: You do. I didn't have any feelings of missing out. I'm like, I'm the opposite of a germaphobe. So, like, if someone came over, like, I would make them wear a mask, but, like, I feel like you probably had a baby that.
• 37:53
  Speaker B: A little bit.
• 37:54
  Speaker A: If you had a baby during COVID you'd probably. I don't even know if you'd let visitors. Yeah.
• 37:57
  Speaker B: But I was like, everybody came here and held and touched my baby. But it was a. When everyone did it, I did feel a certain way. So I guess I was a little anxious about it, but I still let it happen.
• 38:07
  Speaker A: Yeah.
• 38:07
  Speaker B: Because I knew if I didn't, I would just, like, drive myself down a deeper hole.
• 38:10
  Speaker A: I really wasn't crazy with that.
• 38:11
  Speaker B: You're not crazy like that in general. A. I'm a type.
• 38:14
  Speaker A: Well, my chill level is different. Yeah.
• 38:18
  Speaker B: Yeah.
• 38:18
  Speaker A: But. Yeah. So that was my. Well, that was my.
• 38:21
  Speaker B: I guess I know what we forgot to mention. Mom lives seven minutes from you. Yes, my mom lives 40, 45. She doesn't really. She's like an anxious driver. So she's not a pick up the phone run here, you know, and it's not even close enough to do that. So that also played a factor, a huge factor for me that I live far from my family, that they can't just come down the street. For me, I never even need the help. It just feels good knowing I grew up around my mom and my dad's side in the same town.
• 38:50
  Speaker A: So it was.
• 38:50
  Speaker B: It's hard for me to live. No, it's 45 minutes away from my family.
• 38:53
  Speaker A: Definitely.
• 38:53
  Speaker B: That was a huge thing.
• 38:54
  Speaker A: I mean, you can walk through the.
• 38:56
  Speaker B: Door at any time.
• 38:56
  Speaker A: Yeah. Like, if I want her to sleep over, she would just knowing, even now, knowing, like, when I wake up in the morning, I like, no, okay, my mom's coming over. I'm like, I could breathe. Like, I know that I'm not going to be alone with the kids and I can like, maybe go take a shower.
• 39:10
  Speaker B: Like I had to if I want to go to my family. Like when he was young, which is like, nervous as a parent to begin with, to leave your house with a newborn.
• 39:18
  Speaker A: Yeah.
• 39:18
  Speaker B: I had to drive 45 minutes. Like, that was a large thought that was like, tormented in the back. Tormenting me in the back of my. So that was hard too. But I feel like this was the life. It's hard to say this because, like, I want this life too. I mean, I had married. I want to kid. I want to grow a family of mine. But, like, this was. You knew your plan.
• 39:38
  Speaker A: You just knew everything. And I have to say, like, backtracking to my delivery like this second. Maybe it was because he didn't breathe at first, but the second they put him on me, I was just like. Like, this is my home. Like, he's here and he's okay and.
• 39:53
  Speaker B: I'm gonna cry again.
• 39:54
  Speaker A: And I just felt like there was, it was just happiness. Like I was, I was on that high. And I honestly feel like I've been on that high ever since.
• 40:01
  Speaker B: My God, that's so beautiful.
• 40:03
  Speaker A: No, really, like I, I just enjoy it so much and maybe I was lucky that I didn't feel like the depression or anxiety that went with it. But like, I really truly feel like I was meant to do this. Like my three kids.
• 40:15
  Speaker B: Like, I mean, you could see it in your everyday. Like this was your superpower, this is where you're meant to be. And every mom is meant to be a mom at some point. Right? But I, I feel like, I feel. I don't want to identify as anxiety because that's not my identity, that's not who I am. And it upsets me sometimes to, you know, And I'm so happy that you are the way are. You didn't have to go through all that. But I envy that in some way. Like, I wish I was symptom free of this anxious feeling sometimes because I don't want anybody, especially my family, my son, my husband to think that, like I don't want this life because I do. But the way I project is me just like trying to figure it out. The way I talk, the way I speak about things, the way I handle things. It's all in all, literally me trying to figure it out.
• 41:04
  Speaker A: Yeah.
• 41:04
  Speaker B: And I want this life, but I just want to, I want to get rid of. It's not fun to feel that.
• 41:10
  Speaker A: And I think you will. I mean, so I'm. My oldest is 4. Not that I had anything that you have like just right now, within this year. Like, you have to remember I was never. By the first birthday, I was always pregnant again.
• 41:22
  Speaker B: Right.
• 41:23
  Speaker A: For a few times I never sat with it. And body image was a huge thing for me. And going into our next topic, we could talk about how like my body just. I'm a very sexual person and you are too. And like we. I just didn't feel sexy and that for those three years, like I couldn't even think of.
• 41:38
  Speaker B: I. I forget that I was like, feeling sexy was like the last of my list. Right. I didn't even care about my body. Everyone was like, oh my God, my body, my body. I was like, I didn't even give a. I just wanted to get rid of my stomachache that I woke up with every day, like, no. So. But I feel like we really talked a lot about postpartum and there's so much to say. But we do have another topic that we really want to get into. We're going to lighten the mood a little bit because this plays a factor in everything. Again, like, there is so much to say. This is not who you are. This is not who I am. We're just trying to speak about something that women struggle with when they have a baby. And it's okay. It's not who you are. You don't love your kid any less. You love your family. You have a great life still.
• 42:15
  Speaker A: And one in seven moms suffer from postpartum.
• 42:18
  Speaker B: They do.
• 42:19
  Speaker A: Yeah.
• 42:19
  Speaker B: And no one fucking talks about it. So call me.
• 42:22
  Speaker A: Yeah.
• 42:22
  Speaker B: Anyway, we have another topic that's really important to us and we feel like it is very suitable for this, but.
• 42:27
  Speaker A: That it's gonna be a little lighter, a little more sexy or not sexy, but the real talk about how your relationship with your husband changes after having a baby. And I wanted to. I really. I need to get into like, the sex of it. Absolutely need to get.
• 42:40
  Speaker B: Yeah, baby.
• 42:41
  Speaker A: Because like, when are we having time to, like, have sex with, like, when what, when are. What are we doing?
• 42:47
  Speaker B: What are we doing?
• 42:48
  Speaker A: Like, like. So I remember calling my girlfriend and both of our husbands must be like the denuncio gene. They want to fucking every day. Every second of every day. I'll be walking up the stairs.
• 42:58
  Speaker B: Yes.
• 42:59
  Speaker A: It would have been when I was £200 also. And he'd be like, full pinky up my ass. Like, get away from me. What? And then he sends me a meme. Like, if your husband doesn't touch your butt while you're walking up the stairs, they don't really love you. Okay, then don't love me.
• 43:12
  Speaker B: Stop touching me.
• 43:13
  Speaker A: Like, don't touch me.
• 43:14
  Speaker B: Just sweating thinking about it.
• 43:16
  Speaker A: Please, like, leave me alone.
• 43:17
  Speaker B: Like, are all men this sexual? They have to be, right? It's not just our husbands, because sex is like top of mind whenever, wherever. We could be so late walking out the door, like, we have to be in court or something. Like, I can't think of something serious that's like something serious. He would miss it. Have time to do that. I'm like, are you out of your frickin mind?
• 43:36
  Speaker A: I know. And it's just, it's funny because, like, pre baby me, like, I would be down. Like, I'm down down. And like, even me now. Like later, I'm down now. But, like, there was a.
• 43:45
  Speaker B: You weren't down for five years.
• 43:46
  Speaker A: There was a. It was a three and a half, four year mark. Four years. Let's call it where I was knocked down. And I remember calling my girlfriend and I was like, and you.
• 43:54
  Speaker B: I'm a sexual person. Like, I love sexy. I love, like, a man thinking I'm sexy and all that. But you are, like, sexual. Like, you want to do the grimy dirty.
• 44:03
  Speaker A: I'm a trisexual. I'll try anything once.
• 44:05
  Speaker B: Yeah. Okay, so. But that's a lot for you to say.
• 44:08
  Speaker A: Yeah. No, I mean, and I feel bad for him because he was going through it.
• 44:11
  Speaker B: Because if you're another thing, that's why postpartum came in. Because I'm like, I feel bad my husband's not having sex with me.
• 44:16
  Speaker A: Yeah. So I just have to say this. Like, I remember.
• 44:18
  Speaker B: Gonna kill me dad.
• 44:20
  Speaker A: If you're out there, if you're listening.
• 44:22
  Speaker B: If you're not sailing, setting sail.
• 44:24
  Speaker A: I called my girlfriend and I was like, I just don't understand. Like, my husband wants to fuck me, like, all the time. Like, I don't even want to fuck me. Like, put the lights out. Like, I don't want to. I just don't understand why they always want to have sex. And if I don't feel good, like, I don't want to have sex.
• 44:40
  Speaker B: Voice from the person in the back, please.
• 44:41
  Speaker A: And also, like, can we just talk about one thing? I need to talk about something. Are there moms that are masturbating out there? Do we have any momsturbators out there? Because, like, if. If I don't feel good about myself. Like, I. I have played with my kids all day long, and the last thing I do real quick is play with myself, let alone, like. Like, I just don't understand.
• 45:02
  Speaker B: I don't either.
• 45:03
  Speaker A: Like, if I don't feel that's the.
• 45:05
  Speaker B: Last thing on my mind.
• 45:06
  Speaker A: No, I mean, that's like. It's crazy.
• 45:07
  Speaker B: Imagine me, like, getting ready to set up and getting into it after I just, like, changed a shit diaper, right? Like, oh, I probably have shit between my nails. And now it's gonna be somewhere I don't want it to be.
• 45:19
  Speaker A: No, you'll. You'll get a. You'll get a yeast infection.
• 45:21
  Speaker B: Literally get a yeast infection thinking about it.
• 45:23
  Speaker A: Actually, this is funny. This was gonna be in my mom Confessions, but my kids, no, do not touch mommy's nightstand. Because one time Vienna got into it.
• 45:31
  Speaker B: I remember this.
• 45:32
  Speaker A: And I. But I literally like, slam. Like, I probably slammed her finger shot. And I was like, don't go in there. She was like, she's scared. I was like, I saw a spider in there once. Don't ever go in. I think there's, like, spider eggs. And now they will never, ever touch my nightstand. It's like a forbidden spot, and I love it.
• 45:47
  Speaker B: That's hilarious.
• 45:47
  Speaker A: Yes. So spiders are in my nightstand, children. Yeah.
• 45:50
  Speaker B: Don't go in my nightstand. Mine's. I'm not even gonna go there.
• 45:53
  Speaker A: What's in your nightstand?
• 45:54
  Speaker B: Mine's too far to reach.
• 45:55
  Speaker A: Postpartum, your libido is dropped. You're just not into the sex. Most people, I mean, maybe, maybe, maybe.
• 46:01
  Speaker B: There are zero sex drive.
• 46:03
  Speaker A: Yeah. And that was really hard for me.
• 46:04
  Speaker B: I mean, I am like, there's like three days out of the month where I'm okay.
• 46:08
  Speaker A: Yeah.
• 46:09
  Speaker B: Literally.
• 46:09
  Speaker A: Yeah. I'm either crying when you're ovulating, screaming when she's funny.
• 46:13
  Speaker B: There's three days you could talk to me out of the month. Because I will. Those three days I have to have sex with my husband the other day. I have to, like, be nice to my kid. And the other. That's like, call everybody back because I haven't called them in a month.
• 46:24
  Speaker A: You hate talking on the phone.
• 46:25
  Speaker B: Hey. Talking on the phone. So, I mean, forget after having a baby, like, sex is like the last thing on your. And I feel like it gets worse. I feel like you have so much more in, like, you're as. As the. Your baby grows up. Like, you really don't have time to have sex and you don't feel it.
• 46:41
  Speaker A: Yeah. I mean, I think it's just. It's. You have to figure out ways. But like, I. I told you this the other day. It's like, like, is your head actually in the sex? If, like, you're on, you're watching your monitor. Am I into my husband or am I watching my baby sleep? Like, where are we?
• 46:54
  Speaker B: No. That's literally what I think about. I'm like, we're gonna wake the baby up, and if he wakes up, then he gets to leave and I have to, like, he took a 30 minute nap.
• 47:02
  Speaker A: Right.
• 47:02
  Speaker B: So we can't do this right now.
• 47:04
  Speaker A: No. Like, I'll never understand that. And, like, now my oldest is getting into the age of where, like, he'll. He will open the door and walk in and, like, that is worse. So scared of that. That.
• 47:13
  Speaker B: So scared of that.
• 47:13
  Speaker A: It's worse than having sex next to your baby in the bassinet.
• 47:16
  Speaker B: I don't know if it's worse.
• 47:17
  Speaker A: I'm not sure. Well, it's like a blob. Do you let your dog watch you have sex?
• 47:22
  Speaker B: My God. I'm not even gonna tell you what Bama does.
• 47:24
  Speaker A: He humps. He has sex.
• 47:26
  Speaker B: He licks my husband's butt. I'm like, we cannot do this.
• 47:29
  Speaker A: So you're telling me that's just wrong?
• 47:32
  Speaker B: That's a reality also, like, I know it's a dog, but, like, I. He can't be in the room.
• 47:37
  Speaker A: Okay.
• 47:37
  Speaker B: My dog cannot be in the room.
• 47:38
  Speaker A: Leave the dog. He knows the dog. The baby's outside.
• 47:40
  Speaker B: He's gonna judge me the next time he sees me. My dog. I can't. It's not. It's not a thing. But circle back a little bit.
• 47:45
  Speaker A: Yeah.
• 47:45
  Speaker B: Our relationship after having a baby, it's hard.
• 47:48
  Speaker A: It's hard. If you're a mom and you. And you were into it, I want to hear from you because it was. It really took me a good amount of time to get back there, and my. But I. But there is hope. I want to let you know. If you're in the thick of it.
• 48:00
  Speaker B: Yeah, there's hope.
• 48:01
  Speaker A: There's hope. There's. You will get.
• 48:03
  Speaker B: We're not there yet.
• 48:04
  Speaker A: No. There's a lot of factors that I think maybe this is why people have.
• 48:07
  Speaker B: Babies right away, because it helps them just, like, have sex all the time, and it helps their marriage.
• 48:11
  Speaker A: I know. But then sometimes it turns into, like, a chore. Like.
• 48:14
  Speaker B: Oh, yeah, we were just talking to somebody. No, name somebody that's like a tour for them. I mean, not there yet, but my husband. This is crazy. Lives off of sex, but his happiness comes from, like, sexually encounters with his wife.
• 48:28
  Speaker A: Yeah.
• 48:28
  Speaker B: I feel like it really took a toll.
• 48:30
  Speaker A: Yeah.
• 48:30
  Speaker B: I mean, on him and us just as men. When my brain.
• 48:35
  Speaker A: Yeah.
• 48:36
  Speaker B: Is elsewhere. You can't be sexual. I can't get into it. I just can't. I feel I'm not that person that can turn it on like a man.
• 48:42
  Speaker A: Or if you do, you're just faking it.
• 48:44
  Speaker B: I'm totally.
• 48:44
  Speaker A: And that sucks for that.
• 48:46
  Speaker B: I'm not a faker. I will never fake.
• 48:47
  Speaker A: Yeah.
• 48:48
  Speaker B: So that took a toll. I mean, one, your body is, like, atrocious. Whether you had a C section and. Or a natural birth. Forget that.
• 48:55
  Speaker A: Like, my boobs, they were so leaky.
• 48:57
  Speaker B: Yeah.
• 48:57
  Speaker A: I felt like a cow. That was my thing. I felt. I breastfed all my babies for three years, I breastfed. I felt like I was not even a human. I was just a cow. I was a cow, and my boobs were meant for them. If my husband even graced my tit with his hand, I cringed. Like, it was like.
• 49:14
  Speaker B: Someone just told me this the other day that they didn't want their husband sucking their tits because that was for their baby.
• 49:23
  Speaker A: I just didn't.
• 49:24
  Speaker B: I didn't feel that. But that's like a. That's the thing. Like, don't touch me. My body's for my baby.
• 49:28
  Speaker A: Yeah. And you feel it. You really feel.
• 49:29
  Speaker B: That's crazy. Yeah, that is. That is. Just goes to show what women do. We don't want our husbands touching our tits because that's. That's what my son or daughter sucks on.
• 49:39
  Speaker A: Yeah. And actually, I saw this article that I just want to mention because we kind of touched upon most of them, but there's eight things no one told you that would happen to your marriage after having kids, and I thought these were, like, pretty relatable. One, you start to feel like a roommate with your husband because, like, you're both doing the task. And when is it over? I kind of think. I don't know.
• 49:57
  Speaker B: When was it over for you?
• 49:58
  Speaker A: Maybe now. I don't know.
• 50:01
  Speaker B: I kind of still feel. I still have a lot of those days.
• 50:04
  Speaker A: Yeah, there's definitely roommate days. And then I hate it.
• 50:06
  Speaker B: At the end of the day, I'm like, what is this?
• 50:08
  Speaker A: Yes. Like, what are we.
• 50:09
  Speaker B: Literally, what I say sometimes, I'm like. And he is like, why are you upset? And I'm like, nothing. I'm just like, I'm tired. Like, in my head, I'm like, what is this relationship right now?
• 50:17
  Speaker A: Yeah. No, I agree. Date nights don't fix everything, but date nights are very important. And my mom always told me this. Friday night, Saturday nights, whatever night, just find some time. It doesn't have to be going out or she's having. Yeah, it could be. Be putting the kids to bed, putting on a movie.
• 50:31
  Speaker B: Yeah.
• 50:32
  Speaker A: You were just, like, finding time to not just lay next to each other and scroll your phones, because we have a huge problem with that. And I'm sure a lot of people.
• 50:38
  Speaker B: Do, because at the end of the day, like, he's finally gonna scroll.
• 50:40
  Speaker A: Like, it's like. It's like. It's like your time. Like, that's fine. And I do. I'm. My husband always says that whenever I throw my phone down, I'm like, okay, so are we gonna. It's like, just because you put your.
• 50:50
  Speaker B: Phone down, I do that, too. Well, like, what are you doing? I put my phone down. Put yours down.
• 50:55
  Speaker A: You'll argue more, which I think is true. Yeah, you'll miss the old version. Version of yourselves, which you touched upon. Like, you. When you totally sang that song. You really do. But it's not to say that this new version is. Is bad. It's just like a. It's. It's like a new beginning. You got to, like, accept the fact.
• 51:11
  Speaker B: That this is it. Like, you can't dwell on the past. The past is the past. And it's like you had a beautiful life. Like, have a. Another beautiful life for 40 years. You just have to get to the point where you're okay with it.
• 51:21
  Speaker A: Yeah. Intimacy will feel different, which we talked about. You might question your connection with your husband, which I think is a big thing, because, like, you married each other because you do love each other. And I always say this to Joe, like, think about our vows. Like, sometimes when we hate each other, but, like, we actually did love each other. Like, we. We signed up for this. If you dive deep into why you fell in love, and, like, it's hard for us because it was so long ago that, like, we started this life together, but we. There is something there. There's a true connection. And with everything that happens in life, there could be deaths, there could be babies. Like, all of these things, but it circles back to, like, your love.
• 51:57
  Speaker B: Michael brings this up a lot. Vows. And not that I don't think about it, but to me, you know, we did our vows. He holds it against me in a good way. Like, we made a vow to each other through sickness. And we said. And every time we argue and every time we are like, don't want this anymore. We're like, we can't do it. We're at the point where I'm just like, I'm done. Like, you know, when you get to that stage, you just, like, say whatever you fucking have on your mind, which I'm a really bad culprit of that. I don't know. I gotta get better. He always is. Like, I vowed for xyz. And when he says it in the moment, I'm like, fuck your vows. But when I lay my head on my pillow, I'm like, that is all you can ask for in life, for your husband to want to go back to that. Like.
• 52:44
  Speaker A: And that's all about it. Felt. Yes, Absolutely.
• 52:47
  Speaker B: Okay, back to what I was saying, though.
• 52:49
  Speaker A: Yes.
• 52:49
  Speaker B: I want to just touch on, like, resentment real quick because someone told me one time, you know, just, men are not going to understand. Just get over resenting your husband. Because there's no point. I'm like, no, because I want to. I'm the type that. It'll eat me up until I talk about it. So let's figure out this resentment piece that I feel and then we can move on. So. So I feel like, the resentment, which I don't resent my husband. I literally don't. He is. He's nothing wrong. It's not his fault that I feel the way I feel and my life sometimes feel the way. Way it feels. But I can't help but watch my husband leave for work every day and pursue a passion and resent him for that. Right. It's. No, it's normal. I can't help the fact that he gets to get up and I'm gonna go get a haircut at 10:00. Nice. Like, I can't help it. I don't want to. I know I'll get over it. But it's. I have a little bit of resentment that his life just continues and mine didn't. And that is also a factor in our relationship sometimes. Like, it's annoying. And I hope that there is a light at the end of that tunnel, but that's also normal. Don't think it's not presenting is normal.
• 53:52
  Speaker A: And I think we need to just touch upon things that actually helped. Things that helped us get through this. The baby's home.
• 53:59
  Speaker B: Hi, baby.
• 54:00
  Speaker A: Should you make an appearance?
• 54:01
  Speaker B: Yeah. Okay. I love you.
• 54:04
  Speaker A: So. Things that actually helped with the resentment, which is things which I could touch upon when my husband. So my husband goes to work every day.
• 54:11
  Speaker B: I like this.
• 54:11
  Speaker A: When he comes home. We're working on it, but I want him to take all his final work calls in the car. I want him to walk in the door. There is two seconds of time that he gets that my kids are running to the door screaming, daddy, Daddy, Daddy. And if he comes in on the phone or like, then he misses that. He misses the excitement of my kids being there is. That's the best part of their day. When daddy walks through the door, which is so up because like, hi, here I am.
• 54:35
  Speaker B: I'm here all day.
• 54:36
  Speaker A: But they. It's. It's the cutest thing. They literally run to the door. Whatever they're doing. And daddy's home, they run to him.
• 54:42
  Speaker B: So I love.
• 54:43
  Speaker A: My thing is he needs to just put his phone down, get out of his work mode, be present when he walks through those doors and enjoy the. Daddy's home.
• 54:54
  Speaker B: Yeah.
• 54:54
  Speaker A: And that is huge.
• 54:55
  Speaker B: I love that.
• 54:57
  Speaker A: And then we also talked about how this We've. It took us a while to get here. But how can I help you right now, in this moment, right now? What can I do to help you? Whether it be help me cook dinner, give them a bath, help with bedtime. Like in this moment right now, what do you need? Not, not like go upstairs, take a 30 minute shit. Like, I don't need that. That will not help.
• 55:16
  Speaker B: We don't need you going to the bathroom right now.
• 55:17
  Speaker A: No. Yeah. I need help with whatever I say in that moment. That will help me tremendously.
• 55:23
  Speaker B: Yeah, I feel like Michael and I are. And I feel like you might have been here a couple years ago. Like, where. If I bring that up to him, like, I just want you to be present when you walk through the door right now. Because we're. We're just like in this weird phase. He's taking it as I have a job. You know what I mean?
• 55:39
  Speaker A: Yeah.
• 55:39
  Speaker B: We're not at that point yet where he's taking. Like, I might be saying in a, in a way that he's taking it.
• 55:44
  Speaker A: Like that, but I do think it takes time. Like, it takes time like a negative.
• 55:48
  Speaker B: I just really want you to be present instead of walk. Because he does that too. He walks in on the phone and I'm like, like, I do's here in front of you and he wants to see Daddy.
• 55:55
  Speaker A: I think the switch kind of happens when the dad or the partner, whoever we're talking about, that is the working person walks in the door when they actually see their kids. So excited to see them. Like, if you're, if you're in another world and you're not living it, then you miss it.
• 56:11
  Speaker B: Yeah, we're not there yet.
• 56:12
  Speaker A: And. And my husband says like, it's probably like what, five to seven years that they get excited when daddy walks in the door and then it's just like.
• 56:19
  Speaker B: They'Re sitting on the couch. Right?
• 56:20
  Speaker A: They don't give a shit. So, like, these moments are really important and special and they're big moments. They might be little moments in the time, but they're big moments to look back on.
• 56:28
  Speaker B: And I have to say, Michael and I, you know, have had a talk where the. How can I help? Because at one point he was just like cleaning the dishes and I'm like, that's not what I need you to do right now.
• 56:38
  Speaker A: Blowing the leaves one time before a party. Joey's fucking blowing leaves. I'm like, this is not what I need. I do not need you to make every leaf on our lawn go away. I need you to Be setting the table or something. Or running to get ice.
• 56:50
  Speaker B: Yeah.
• 56:50
  Speaker A: Something more important than fucking blowing leaves.
• 56:53
  Speaker B: That's like, where my husband was at. And he's like, I'm helping you. I'm like, no, that is not what I need from you.
• 56:58
  Speaker A: But they genuinely think they are helping, which is sad.
• 57:00
  Speaker B: Sad. And I. And that's another part of my anxiety. I'm like, I feel bad now. I feel like a. I'm not. I just. I seem that way. But now we're at a stage where he literally asked me, like, what do you want me to do? What do you need me to do? So now he knows. He does bedtime, he does bath. Unless, like, there's a factor where he has an event or he's out late. Then I do it all. But, you know, we've come to. He asks me, like, what do you want me to do? I'm like, all right, well, why don't you change him? And I'll start there, or vice versa. And I feel like that isn't a trend of the right direction. My husband and I don't hate each other, by the way. This is not. I hope we're not pictured, but we're real. Real fucking shit. But I love that advice. I'm taking that from you. I hope you heard that. He probably didn't.
• 57:36
  Speaker A: He'll do it when he's editing.
• 57:37
  Speaker B: I'll do it when he's editing. But that's really good advice. I feel like the off the clock thing, like, I'm off the clock and you're off the clock. All hands off that. I mentioned that last episode. Just setting boundaries, obviously. Setting boundaries in the sense, like, we gotta get a little bit better at this. Just like, when. When are we. Don't go take. Don't go take a 30 minute upstairs. It's not time to go do that. You know what I mean? I'll get to take that time for myself.
• 58:05
  Speaker A: Right.
• 58:05
  Speaker B: That's where the resentment builds up. Like. And I'm not. I'm not literally talking about, you can't go upstairs and go to the bathroom. But I'm talking about, like, no, but don't. Yeah, like, don't go make your tea and sit on the couch and watch tv. It's not the time, but. And lastly, just, like, times are different. I know all these moms out there, like, even my mom is like, we didn't have. We didn't have that. We didn't do that. But times are different now. And I hate that they are, because I wish I lived Back in the day, life would be so much easier.
• 58:27
  Speaker A: Yeah.
• 58:27
  Speaker B: But just like it's not the same as it used to be. My husband helps me. My husband changes diapers. My husband does this and that. Like, where times are different. Like, it's okay to. You don't have to do all the work. You know what I mean? Which I feel like we do. We're the default parent. But your husbands can be there for you and be involved. Like it's all right and all good. And they should.
• 58:47
  Speaker A: Yeah. Anyway, we're going to get into mom confession.
• 58:50
  Speaker B: Yeah, let's wrap it up. I feel like this was like, we.
• 58:53
  Speaker A: Talked it, we talked it, we walked.
• 58:55
  Speaker B: It, we sang it, we drank it. Everyone's telling you to shut the fuck up. So I'm going to shut the fuck up. Anyway, let's go into our confessions. We have a bunch of confessions every episode where people are giving us their scandalous mob confessions they have. And I'm not talking sexy scandalous. I'm talking, like dropping your baby in a pack and play. Not wanting to tell anybody what we're telling people. So we're going to read them off real quick. We want to do this every episode. So if you have a mob confession, please let us know. We want to make this a thing. So go ahead, Em.
• 59:22
  Speaker A: You want to just read them back and forth?
• 59:23
  Speaker B: Just read them.
• 59:24
  Speaker A: Oh, okay.
• 59:24
  Speaker B: Yeah.
• 59:25
  Speaker A: I was so paranoid postpartum that I convinced myself I hit a child in the Whole Foods parking lot.
• 59:32
  Speaker B: That's crazy.
• 59:34
  Speaker A: I wouldn't leave my son in a bassinet because I thought he would roll out of the bassinet the first week of his life.
• 59:39
  Speaker B: These are anonymous, by the way. We're not going to mention I thought.
• 59:42
  Speaker A: A man at the mall spiked my espresso. I lied to my husband and told him my six week postpartum checkup didn't go well and my tear wasn't ready to have sex.
• 59:51
  Speaker B: But it was ready.
• 59:52
  Speaker A: That's a good one.
• 59:53
  Speaker B: That is a good one.
• 59:54
  Speaker A: I rewashed the same load of laundry three times because I kept forgetting was in there. I feel like I do that all the time.
• 1:00:00
  Speaker B: Same.
• 1:00:01
  Speaker A: My kid was having a tantrum in Target with my mom and I actually pretended like I did not know them. Nap trap. Struggle. I've left my youngest home sleeping before to run and grab my toddler right down the road from school so I didn't have to wake the bab.
• 1:00:13
  Speaker B: That's crazy.
• 1:00:16
  Speaker A: I like that. I take my kids to petsmart and tell them it's the zoo. So Anytime we pass the petsmart, they scream, can we go to the zoo? Can we go to the zoo?
• 1:00:24
  Speaker B: It's funny.
• 1:00:24
  Speaker A: My husband and I ask to borrow or return our cousin's air fryer when we know they aren't home so we can go to their house and bang on the bathroom floor. I sometimes.
• 1:00:33
  Speaker B: Was that. Was that you?
• 1:00:35
  Speaker A: I sometimes spray her perfume and pretend to be her.
• 1:00:39
  Speaker B: I just aired out her dirty laundry.
• 1:00:41
  Speaker A: We just need a place to have sex.
• 1:00:42
  Speaker B: That's so funny. Did you really do that?
• 1:00:45
  Speaker A: Right now have their fryers, so we might be returning it. When you're in Vegas, we have a.
• 1:00:49
  Speaker B: Camera, so don't around.
• 1:00:50
  Speaker A: I know, but sometimes that's funny. All right. And that's it.
• 1:00:53
  Speaker B: That is so freaking funny. I love all those mom confessions for episode two. Do not forget to watch us on YouTube. Don't forget to like and subscribe. Subscribe.
• 1:01:06
  Speaker A: Don't forget to drink. Try Juicy Tits. It's really good.
• 1:01:10
  Speaker B: Vodka bottle. I mean, come on. Who wouldn't want Juicy?
• 1:01:13
  Speaker A: You know what's cool? Going to a bar and be like, yo, can I have a shot of Juicy Tits? I would head turn.
• 1:01:18
  Speaker B: You literally get laid.
• 1:01:19
  Speaker A: Oh, I want that. Juicy Tits.
• 1:01:20
  Speaker B: Same so Juicy tits. Subscribe to YouTube, follow us on Instagram and tick tock and have a great week.