Latest / New Manager Conversations with Fexingo: First 90 Days, Managing Former Peers, and Leadership Basics / How New Managers Can Coach Underperformers Without Micromanaging
Transcript
- Lucas: So, you've been in the manager seat for maybe two months now. Your team is decent — mostly self-sufficient. But one person is consistently missing deadlines, and the work they turn in needs heavy edits. You know you need to address it, but every time you check in, you feel like you're hovering. And they're starting to get defensive. Luna: That tension between coaching and micromanaging — it's maybe the hardest line for new managers to walk. And it's surprisingly easy to end up on the wrong side. Lucas: Yeah. And I think the instinct when you're new is to either avoid it entirely — hope the problem fixes itself — or go full oversight mode: daily check-ins, line edits on every email. Neither works. So today I want to talk about a specific framework for coaching an underperformer without losing your mind or theirs. Luna: Let's use a concrete case. I was talking to a marketing manager at a mid-sized SaaS company — let's call her Priya. She'd been promoted from individual contributor to team lead about four months ago. One of her senior marketing specialists, Raj, had been with the company three years. His output had slipped since she took over. Lucas: Three years in, so he knows the ropes. What was actually going wrong? Luna: He was late on campaign deliverables. His copy needed multiple rounds of revision. And he'd started missing team stand-ups. Priya's first instinct was to send him a Slack message every morning asking 'What's on your plate today?' — which, spoiler, Raj hated. Lucas: Right, because that feels like surveillance. So the first thing Priya needed to do was figure out why Raj was underperforming. That's step one: diagnose the root cause. Is it a skill issue or a will issue? I know that sounds like consultant jargon, but it's actually useful. Luna: Skill vs. will. So skill means he doesn't know how to do the work at the level required. Will means he knows how but isn't motivated. And the fix is totally different. Lucas: Exactly. With skill, you need training, clearer instructions, maybe a mentor. With will, you need to understand what's demotivating him — maybe he's bored, maybe he feels unrecognized, maybe he's angry about the promotion you got instead of him. In Raj's case, Priya realized he had all the skills. He'd been a top performer before. The issue was will. Luna: So she needed to address the motivation gap. But how do you start that conversation without sounding accusatory? I think a lot of new managers lead with 'You seem disengaged' or 'I've noticed your performance slipping' — which immediately puts the other person on the defensive. Lucas: Right. So step two is what I'd call the 'get better' conversation — a transparent, forward-looking talk where you name the gap but focus on the future. Priya sat Raj down and said something like: 'I want to talk about how things are going. I've seen a shift in your work over the last month — a few missed deadlines, some campaigns that needed extra rounds. I want to understand what's going on, because I know you're capable of more.' Luna: That's good. It names the observation without labeling the person. She's saying 'I see the behavior' not 'You are the problem.' Lucas: And she left space for him to talk. He ended up admitting he felt like his ideas weren't being heard since she became manager. He missed the creative freedom he had before. That's a will issue rooted in loss of autonomy. So Priya could address that directly. Luna: But — and this is key — she also set a clear expectation. She said, 'I hear you, and I want to find ways to give you more ownership. But I also need consistent delivery. Let's agree on a plan for the next 30 days. If we see improvement, great. If not, we'll have to escalate.' That's step three: a time-bound improvement plan that's collaborative, not punitive. Lucas: And here's where the micromanagement trap really lives. How do you check in on that plan without breathing down their neck? The answer is structured check-ins that the employee knows about in advance. Not random pings. Priya set a weekly 30-minute check-in every Monday. Agenda: what's due this week, what support do you need, any blockers. That's it. Luna: So the employee drives the update. The manager isn't asking 'What did you do yesterday?' — they're asking 'What's your plan?' That's a small shift in phrasing but a massive difference in power dynamic. Lucas: Exactly. And in between those check-ins, Priya committed to not messaging Raj about his tasks. If she saw something off, she'd wait until the next meeting. That takes discipline, but it signals trust. Raj knew he had the week to deliver, and if he needed help, he could come to her. Luna: The fourth step is documentation. I know — every new manager hates the paperwork. But if the situation doesn't improve, you need a record. Priya wrote a brief summary after each check-in: what was discussed, what Raj committed to, any concerns. She shared it with Raj after each meeting so there were no surprises. Lucas: And that documentation isn't about building a case to fire someone — though it can serve that purpose if needed. It's about clarity. Both of you have the same version of events. No 'I thought we agreed on X' two weeks later. Luna: So, quick question — what if Raj's performance didn't improve? What if the 30 days passed and the deadlines were still slipping? Lucas: Then you escalate. That means a formal performance improvement plan — a PIP — with clearer consequences. But I'd argue that if you've done the diagnosis, had the honest conversation, and set up structured support, a PIP shouldn't be a surprise. Raj should already know it's coming. The PIP is just the formal step. Luna: And I think that's the hardest part for new managers: being willing to have the uncomfortable conversation early. Delaying only makes it worse — for the team, for the underperformer, and for your own credibility. Lucas: Speaking of credibility — if we've helped you think through a career move or a tough management decision, we'd love your support in keeping these conversations ad-free. We deliberately don't run ads on this show. If that matters to you, the link is buy me a coffee dot com slash fexingo. No pressure, just a way to keep it going. Luna: Yeah, listener support is what makes this possible. We appreciate every single person who chips in. Lucas: Alright, back to Raj. After that first honest conversation, Priya made a simple change: she started including Raj in more strategy meetings, asking for his input on campaign direction. That gave him back some of the creative ownership he'd lost. And within about three weeks, his deadlines were back on track. Luna: So the fix wasn't about tighter control — it was about restoring autonomy within a clear framework. That's the coaching sweet spot. Lucas: Right. And the key takeaway for any new manager is: diagnose before you prescribe. If you don't know whether it's skill or will, you'll probably pick the wrong intervention. And if your intervention feels like surveillance, you'll erode trust instead of building it. Luna: I'd add one more thing: be honest about your own emotions. Coaching someone who used to be your peer or who's older than you is uncomfortable. It's okay to say 'This conversation is hard for me too, but I care about your growth.' That vulnerability can actually strengthen the relationship. Lucas: Yeah, that's a good point. Priya told me later that the moment she admitted she was nervous, Raj relaxed. He said, 'I thought you were just going to tell me I'm doing everything wrong.' They ended up having the best working relationship after that. Luna: So the framework again: one, diagnose skill vs. will. Two, have the transparent 'get better' conversation. Three, set a time-bound plan with structured, employee-led check-ins. Four, document for clarity, not for punishment. Lucas: And if you're a new manager listening, your first coaching conversation is probably happening this week. Use this framework. It'll make you feel less like a micromanager and more like a leader. Luna: Next time, we'll talk about how to handle a team member who is performing well but has a bad attitude — the 'brilliant jerk' problem. Lucas: That's a good one. See you then.