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Happy Hour #196: Single Lady Problems · Stuff Mom Never Told You

• 0:05
  Speaker 1: Hey, this is Anny and Samantha.
• 0:06
  Speaker 2: I'm welcome to stuff I never told you production if
• 0:08
  Speaker 2: I heard you, and welcome to another edition of Happy Hour.
• 0:22
  Speaker 2: If you're choosing to drink or whatever you're choosing to do,
• 0:24
  Speaker 2: please do so responsibly. Samantha, what are you sitting on anything?
• 0:30
  Speaker 1: Yes, I am working on my old wife's tale. We've
• 0:33
  Speaker 1: talked about this before. Sometimes in the mornings, like get
• 0:35
  Speaker 1: a little bit like a stomach ache. So I've been
• 0:37
  Speaker 1: drinking Gingerrell. Oh yeah, yeah, So I got a ginger
• 0:42
  Speaker 1: Rell on my side today because everything's so worse. Anie,
• 0:45
  Speaker 1: what about you?
• 0:47
  Speaker 2: I I'm drinking a light beer. Funnily enough, I had
• 0:51
  Speaker 2: friends over this last weekend for Life Day, the Star
• 0:55
  Speaker 2: Wars holiday.
• 0:56
  Speaker 1: Yes.
• 0:57
  Speaker 2: Yes, And one of them noted, why do you have
• 0:59
  Speaker 2: one single beer already in a kouzie? And I said
• 1:04
  Speaker 2: it was because we were supposed to do a happy
• 1:07
  Speaker 2: happy Hour and then you moved it. But I had
• 1:10
  Speaker 2: already had the beer right again, it was probably like
• 1:15
  Speaker 2: two three weeks. It's been just sitting there really, yeah,
• 1:19
  Speaker 2: but so it's already got the kuzie, which if listeners
• 1:22
  Speaker 2: to the show you might know. I collect them. I
• 1:25
  Speaker 2: think I have over one hundred, so I'm worried. This
• 1:29
  Speaker 2: one is my rainbow. Oh yeah, LGBTQ plus. But anyway,
• 1:38
  Speaker 2: this is coming out on Thanksgiving. I was going to
• 1:44
  Speaker 2: try to think of something to do for that, but
• 1:47
  Speaker 2: I already had an idea, So we're just going to
• 1:49
  Speaker 2: do that.
• 1:52
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 1:52
  Speaker 2: I hope everyone's having the best time that they can.
• 1:56
  Speaker 1: Are you doing a thankful one? Because that is on you?
• 2:01
  Speaker 2: It's yeah, actually kind of actually yes. So we've had
• 2:07
  Speaker 2: a lot of episodes recently about the struggles of in
• 2:14
  Speaker 2: heteronormative relationships of dating commands, and I think we've had
• 2:19
  Speaker 2: at least four or five in the past week's episodes
• 2:25
  Speaker 2: about this. And I am a very happily single person,
• 2:31
  Speaker 2: but I thought, you know, why don't we come and
• 2:35
  Speaker 2: talk about some of the single what I call single
• 2:37
  Speaker 2: lady problems I have? And some of them, I want
• 2:45
  Speaker 2: to be clear, these are very specific to me. These
• 2:47
  Speaker 2: are very stereotypical. But the help, the thankful part is
• 2:52
  Speaker 2: I have friends and people in my life who are
• 2:56
  Speaker 2: able to assist me if I need assistance, if it's
• 2:59
  Speaker 2: something I can I not do by myself. I do
• 3:02
  Speaker 2: have a good friend group, and sometimes their boyfriends who
• 3:08
  Speaker 2: helped me in these situations. I would say the biggest
• 3:12
  Speaker 2: one not to be all dark. I think we all
• 3:15
  Speaker 2: talk about this sometimes, but you know, if I die
• 3:19
  Speaker 2: in my apartment, who knows how long it will be
• 3:25
  Speaker 2: until someone finds out. I do have my friend, my
• 3:30
  Speaker 2: good friend, one of my good friend katies, because I
• 3:32
  Speaker 2: have a lot of katies in my life. But she
• 3:34
  Speaker 2: text me probably like multiple times a day, so I
• 3:36
  Speaker 2: think we have a rule. If I have not responded
• 3:39
  Speaker 2: in two days, that's when she's going to show up.
• 3:43
  Speaker 1: Show up.
• 3:45
  Speaker 2: Yes, But this did kind of come up on my
• 3:49
  Speaker 2: radar recently because we're not supposed to have dogs in
• 3:55
  Speaker 2: our apartment building, and I'm not going to turn in
• 3:59
  Speaker 2: the person who shed have a dog in the apartment building.
• 4:03
  Speaker 2: But it was barking and scratching at the door for
• 4:06
  Speaker 2: a long time, and it's a woman who lives in
• 4:10
  Speaker 2: that apartment, and I just had this thoughts that I
• 4:14
  Speaker 2: was like, what if she needs help? What if she like, yeah, exactly,
• 4:18
  Speaker 2: And so I almost went over and knocked on the door.
• 4:22
  Speaker 2: I was just concerned because as far as I know,
• 4:24
  Speaker 2: she lives alone. And it was several hours this was
• 4:29
  Speaker 2: happening and I was just I was worried about it.
• 4:32
  Speaker 2: It turns out she wasn't in the apartment and came
• 4:35
  Speaker 2: back later. It was totally fine, but okay, I just
• 4:39
  Speaker 2: I had a moment of thinking, yeah, yeah, oh no,
• 4:43
  Speaker 2: the dog is trying to alert me.
• 4:45
  Speaker 1: Right exactly. You see so many stories of that.
• 4:48
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, and luckily all in my imagination, everything was fine.
• 4:54
  Speaker 2: But I was worried. I was I almost went over there.
• 4:59
  Speaker 1: That's pretty big.
• 5:00
  Speaker 2: Yeah for me, that's knocking on someone's door no thanks.
• 5:07
  Speaker 2: So that's probably the biggest one I think in recent
• 5:11
  Speaker 2: times I've run into and I've talked about this before,
• 5:17
  Speaker 2: car troubles and your partner it came and helped out,
• 5:23
  Speaker 2: and now the car has started everybody. But it was
• 5:27
  Speaker 2: after my friend Katie and her partner game and they
• 5:33
  Speaker 2: helped me replace the battery. It was a very I
• 5:38
  Speaker 2: know you and I talked about those mansa, but it
• 5:39
  Speaker 2: felt kind of very stereotypical of like, we need the
• 5:42
  Speaker 2: do to help with the car, but I don't know
• 5:45
  Speaker 2: how to do it. I'm just gonna be upfront with you,
• 5:47
  Speaker 2: I don't know how to do it. I do have
• 5:49
  Speaker 2: a friend, Marissa, get friend of the show Marissa she
• 5:52
  Speaker 2: can do it, and she's done it for me before too,
• 5:55
  Speaker 2: but she was going through her own thing, so not
• 5:58
  Speaker 2: going to bother her. But it was just kind of
• 6:00
  Speaker 2: funny how it was benefiting off of having a good
• 6:03
  Speaker 2: friend with a boyfriend dark partner. And he was great
• 6:08
  Speaker 2: and he I couldn't even get the I couldn't even
• 6:12
  Speaker 2: get the hood open, and he got it open.
• 6:14
  Speaker 1: And it's like, you legitimately made me think that you
• 6:17
  Speaker 1: that was a problem that was stuck, and you're like, actually,
• 6:19
  Speaker 1: I just couldn't open it.
• 6:22
  Speaker 2: I think I was afraid I was gonna break it,
• 6:24
  Speaker 2: like I was too gentle. I think I was being
• 6:28
  Speaker 2: too gentle because I went and by the way, there
• 6:30
  Speaker 2: was a big party happening outside when I was trying
• 6:33
  Speaker 2: to open this hood, and so people could they were
• 6:36
  Speaker 2: witnessing this, and I went and I looked online and
• 6:43
  Speaker 2: it said you could break the latch if you're too
• 6:47
  Speaker 2: if you go too hard. So I was just like, oh,
• 6:49
  Speaker 2: I don't want to do that because you have to
• 6:51
  Speaker 2: go fix that. But he opened it very It was
• 7:01
  Speaker 2: just such a nice thing. It's so nice to have
• 7:03
  Speaker 2: friends that come and help you with these these things.
• 7:06
  Speaker 2: But it does make me laugh. How many times I like,
• 7:10
  Speaker 2: I do. I like being single, but there are times
• 7:14
  Speaker 2: where I'm like, this would be so much easier if
• 7:17
  Speaker 2: I had a person, not even necessarily a guy. But
• 7:20
  Speaker 2: in these cases it was a very stereotypical, right, I
• 7:24
  Speaker 2: need a man or someone who because usually it is
• 7:28
  Speaker 2: men who know how to do cars. Not always I
• 7:32
  Speaker 2: certainly do not.
• 7:34
  Speaker 1: Well, here's the theme. I think, with the power of
• 7:37
  Speaker 1: the internet, if you had to, you could, like, obviously,
• 7:41
  Speaker 1: it's like, and then when you don't have to, it's nice.
• 7:46
  Speaker 1: And that's kind of how I felt like many things,
• 7:48
  Speaker 1: so many electronical things, like technical things. There are things,
• 7:52
  Speaker 1: of course I was like over my head, But then
• 7:54
  Speaker 1: there are things I'm like, if I took the time
• 7:56
  Speaker 1: and I used to, especially when I was single, I'll
• 7:58
  Speaker 1: be like, I can do this is not a problem.
• 8:00
  Speaker 1: I moved my own couch, I built my own couch,
• 8:02
  Speaker 1: I built my own desks, I did all those things.
• 8:04
  Speaker 1: But now that I do have a part of I'm like, yeah,
• 8:07
  Speaker 1: but he can do it, like I allow for that,
• 8:10
  Speaker 1: you know, but in actuality, we know that we are
• 8:13
  Speaker 1: very capable of understanding and googling and going forward. Like
• 8:17
  Speaker 1: I absolutely know how to jump cables, you know, like
• 8:19
  Speaker 1: I know how to jump, but if he's there, I
• 8:22
  Speaker 1: don't allow to do it. Right.
• 8:25
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and I do think that too, like I could
• 8:27
  Speaker 2: have figured it out. I'm just honestly very paranoid about
• 8:35
  Speaker 2: I've been told I'm overly paranoid about this, but I'm
• 8:38
  Speaker 2: really paranoid about getting shocked from the battery. Yes, I've
• 8:44
  Speaker 2: had some bad experiences.
• 8:46
  Speaker 1: You know, you also have some unusual experiences, so I
• 8:49
  Speaker 1: would not put it past the fact that it happened
• 8:51
  Speaker 1: to you in an unusual way that now you are
• 8:54
  Speaker 1: very paranoid.
• 8:55
  Speaker 2: I'm telling you this happened, and they're like, no way.
• 8:58
  Speaker 2: And then I can prove it and there's shocked.
• 9:00
  Speaker 1: The probability is like okay, but it is Annie, So yeah, yeah,
• 9:08
  Speaker 1: but it's I don't know.
• 9:11
  Speaker 2: I've really been lucky. I say, in this case with
• 9:18
  Speaker 2: my friend Katie and her boyfriend who came and helped,
• 9:22
  Speaker 2: I was just gonna pay somebody, but she was being
• 9:27
  Speaker 2: a very proactive friend. And then there was kind of
• 9:30
  Speaker 2: a lot of delays, but but she was She's the
• 9:35
  Speaker 2: one that called him, was like, you can do this,
• 9:36
  Speaker 2: let's go do this. Who knows how he feels about it.
• 9:39
  Speaker 2: Hopefully fine, but it's it's nice to have friends who
• 9:45
  Speaker 2: are are looking out for you in that way. Another.
• 9:49
  Speaker 2: I don't run into this much anymore, but I used to,
• 9:52
  Speaker 2: especially when we were getting oh well mostly me was
• 9:56
  Speaker 2: getting mattresses.
• 10:00
  Speaker 1: I missed that mark one.
• 10:02
  Speaker 2: Do you know how difficult it is to go up
• 10:04
  Speaker 2: my stairs which like twist and turn listeners? It is
• 10:09
  Speaker 2: very narrow with a heavy, bulky mattress. And I was,
• 10:16
  Speaker 2: I remember I was one time I got a mattress
• 10:19
  Speaker 2: delivered and I was in a dress and I was
• 10:23
  Speaker 2: like pushing back against the wall and using my legs
• 10:27
  Speaker 2: to push it up the stairs. And I thought, you know,
• 10:32
  Speaker 2: this is this is a single lady's Olympics right here.
• 10:35
  Speaker 2: This is I got it up there.
• 10:41
  Speaker 1: I know you did. Proud of you.
• 10:43
  Speaker 2: Yeah, thanks, Yeah.
• 10:45
  Speaker 1: I've got a question for you. Are you still sleeping
• 10:47
  Speaker 1: on three or four mattresses?
• 10:50
  Speaker 2: That's two? It's two mattresses now, so yes, which I
• 10:56
  Speaker 2: actually okay, first of all, want to acknowledg these are
• 11:01
  Speaker 2: very privileged single lady problems. But I actually think the
• 11:05
  Speaker 2: two mattresses is good because the bed I have, which
• 11:08
  Speaker 2: is a cheap bed from Ikea. Again, not a sponsor
• 11:12
  Speaker 2: is very low and so having the one mattress, it's
• 11:15
  Speaker 2: almost like a functions It's a box spring, but it
• 11:18
  Speaker 2: builds it okay, so it doesn't feel like I'm having
• 11:22
  Speaker 2: to crouch down to get into bed. It gives me
• 11:24
  Speaker 2: a better height than I'm just the one. I was
• 11:41
  Speaker 2: recently confronted with the memory of I'm just in a
• 11:49
  Speaker 2: lot of ways I miss I'm an oblivious soul. I
• 11:53
  Speaker 2: try not to be, but sometimes I am. And my
• 11:57
  Speaker 2: ex before we started dating, he would day over a lot,
• 12:02
  Speaker 2: but he'd sleep on my couch and my couch. He
• 12:04
  Speaker 2: was a tall guy and he would just be scrunched
• 12:09
  Speaker 2: up on this thing. So I bought another couch that
• 12:13
  Speaker 2: was wider and you could it was kind of a
• 12:15
  Speaker 2: foot on sittory, like you could lay it out into
• 12:17
  Speaker 2: a bed, and he helped me set it up. And
• 12:21
  Speaker 2: even still I didn't realize that to him, this was
• 12:28
  Speaker 2: like not the sign he wanted. But I still have
• 12:36
  Speaker 2: that couch. There you go, you know, but he helped
• 12:40
  Speaker 2: me set it up. I think, like, again, I can
• 12:43
  Speaker 2: do these things by myself. I do enjoy being single,
• 12:47
  Speaker 2: but it is nice in many occasions to have someone
• 12:54
  Speaker 2: that will help you, and that person can be a friend.
• 12:56
  Speaker 2: That's the thing. It's like, it doesn't have to be
• 12:58
  Speaker 2: a right, But I do appreciate if you have someone
• 13:03
  Speaker 2: that's kind of living with you or there all the time,
• 13:07
  Speaker 2: and you have that kind of understood I'll help you
• 13:10
  Speaker 2: here and you help me here or whatever.
• 13:13
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean, I will say I think it goes
• 13:16
  Speaker 1: both ways in that the emotional toll, especially if you're
• 13:19
  Speaker 1: in a toxic relationship, the emotional toll, the financial toll,
• 13:23
  Speaker 1: all of those things are not worth having someone who
• 13:27
  Speaker 1: can maybe put together addresser for you, because also that
• 13:31
  Speaker 1: comes into the conversation of like it takes six weeks
• 13:33
  Speaker 1: to convince them to do any of that. And finally,
• 13:36
  Speaker 1: and oftentimes you have women who forget I'm gonna do
• 13:38
  Speaker 1: myself because they're tired of waiting. But also me who
• 13:43
  Speaker 1: I feel like again, I've talked about the fact that
• 13:45
  Speaker 1: I am very independent and it feels odd to be
• 13:47
  Speaker 1: in a relationship as stable as I am that as
• 13:51
  Speaker 1: in a partnership. But I've allowed for the fact that
• 13:54
  Speaker 1: every when I see bugs, and if they're big and
• 13:57
  Speaker 1: they're scary, I will let him kill it, I'll just
• 14:00
  Speaker 1: scream and let him do it, like I have allow
• 14:03
  Speaker 1: for that trope to be a thing and present. Can
• 14:05
  Speaker 1: I kill it on my own and have I? Yes?
• 14:07
  Speaker 1: Do I excessively kill it when it's me? Yes, Like
• 14:09
  Speaker 1: it gets squashed fifteen times and then spray it again,
• 14:12
  Speaker 1: and then spray it again and then flushed down the
• 14:13
  Speaker 1: toilet to make sure it has died and been like
• 14:16
  Speaker 1: decimated into a pulp. So you know, my over dramatic
• 14:21
  Speaker 1: killings I can do on my own, but it is
• 14:23
  Speaker 1: nice to have someone else handle it. Yeah, I can
• 14:25
  Speaker 1: be I can be that stereotypical role of like and
• 14:28
  Speaker 1: run away.
• 14:29
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 14:31
  Speaker 3: Yeah, well that's also that's a good point because I uh,
• 14:39
  Speaker 3: when my my dad left, I.
• 14:42
  Speaker 2: Became like the most the biggest crusader for we do
• 14:46
  Speaker 2: not need him. We can do everything without him. And
• 14:51
  Speaker 2: it kind of annoyed me even as a kid, like
• 14:54
  Speaker 2: my mom would cook everything, but he would get the
• 14:57
  Speaker 2: credit for like he would carve this turkey and so
• 15:00
  Speaker 2: it was like he did it, or he could only
• 15:03
  Speaker 2: cook steak, but she could cook steak, but he wanted
• 15:07
  Speaker 2: all this like attention for it. So I think some
• 15:10
  Speaker 2: of that has stated my soul and you know, if
• 15:15
  Speaker 2: you find a good relationship and one that is not toxic,
• 15:22
  Speaker 2: then I think you should have that space for it. Yeah,
• 15:25
  Speaker 2: you're the one that cooks the steak, and you know
• 15:27
  Speaker 2: you have those things. Stereotypical though they may be sometimes,
• 15:32
  Speaker 2: but you have those things. But I do think also
• 15:37
  Speaker 2: kind of going back to our recent Oh no, it
• 15:40
  Speaker 2: hasn't come out yet, we're doing a lot of stuff.
• 15:42
  Speaker 2: We're getting different holidays, but the upcoming episode as this
• 15:47
  Speaker 2: comes out on moms have just had it right now
• 15:52
  Speaker 2: of you know, having some a partner that does respect
• 15:56
  Speaker 2: and you don't have to ask a million times, you
• 15:59
  Speaker 2: don't have to push the to do all of those things.
• 16:02
  Speaker 2: And in that we do talk about kind of how
• 16:06
  Speaker 2: the friends become the true the people who come through
• 16:10
  Speaker 2: for you without asking and who are like what can
• 16:12
  Speaker 2: I do? I will do it? How can I help you?
• 16:15
  Speaker 2: And that's been hard for me. I think I've gotten
• 16:20
  Speaker 2: a lot better, but asking for help can be hard
• 16:23
  Speaker 2: for me. And so I know you've said, like I
• 16:26
  Speaker 2: just have to tell you I'm coming over and this
• 16:28
  Speaker 2: is what we're doing.
• 16:29
  Speaker 1: I mean, it's un to the point that you will
• 16:31
  Speaker 1: tell me the disaster story that you have tried to
• 16:33
  Speaker 1: do to for yourself and or have avoided for a
• 16:36
  Speaker 1: very long time. And so I get finally just like,
• 16:38
  Speaker 1: well we're doing this, Like that's what you don't ask
• 16:42
  Speaker 1: for help? Actually, any what you do is relay the tragic,
• 16:46
  Speaker 1: more more entertaining stories of like what you did to
• 16:51
  Speaker 1: avoid and or try to fix it. And then I'm like,
• 16:55
  Speaker 1: we're not letting you do that.
• 16:56
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 16:58
  Speaker 1: Yeah, so we haven't gotten the encouraged like you've actually
• 17:02
  Speaker 1: asked him for help, but you are at least telling
• 17:04
  Speaker 1: us the truth.
• 17:08
  Speaker 2: Yeah, so you know, progress, little little progress.
• 17:13
  Speaker 1: I think the part of that is, like we have
• 17:16
  Speaker 1: repeatedly talked about and we're talking about soon, about the
• 17:19
  Speaker 1: fact that, yeah, this is also where a relationship, when
• 17:27
  Speaker 1: it's an actual partnership, that is a great thing to see.
• 17:33
  Speaker 1: That makes relationships look enticing. And what we have noted
• 17:37
  Speaker 1: as of late is is no longer partnerships is very
• 17:41
  Speaker 1: one sided. And that's why it becomes I'm better single
• 17:45
  Speaker 1: because the level, this percentage of equal partnerships have decreased
• 17:51
  Speaker 1: so significantly that it's sad and like again as you
• 17:56
  Speaker 1: were talking about before with your dad, but like interesting
• 18:01
  Speaker 1: to see about how the statistics and we've talked about
• 18:03
  Speaker 1: this before, which actually I think we talked about in
• 18:05
  Speaker 1: the divorce episode, in which women who get sick terminal
• 18:10
  Speaker 1: illnesses or whatever, they're more likely to be left, Like
• 18:13
  Speaker 1: the percentage of men who leave or have like affairs
• 18:17
  Speaker 1: or any of the such are so significantly higher as
• 18:20
  Speaker 1: where when men get sick, women stick around and help
• 18:23
  Speaker 1: them as they would and take care of them to
• 18:25
  Speaker 1: the utmost. And like when we see stuff like that,
• 18:28
  Speaker 1: this is what we're talking about, Like, this is what
• 18:29
  Speaker 1: we see in partnerships and why it's better to be single. Actually,
• 18:46
  Speaker 1: I was having this conversation with a friend of mine
• 18:48
  Speaker 1: yesterday because we were talking about whether we were in
• 18:50
  Speaker 1: healthy relationships and partnerships. Because once you start reading all
• 18:54
  Speaker 1: these things and you start weighing in on like, well,
• 18:55
  Speaker 1: these are the things that I see in mind, Oh,
• 18:58
  Speaker 1: could this be a problem or is it not a problem,
• 19:00
  Speaker 1: But like the fact is like one of the biggest
• 19:03
  Speaker 1: signs for us who are wary of men. So that
• 19:08
  Speaker 1: kind of those kind of articles which we just talked about.
• 19:11
  Speaker 1: Recently just released those episodes, like is it embarrassing to
• 19:16
  Speaker 1: have a boyfriend to say you have a boyfriend, and
• 19:19
  Speaker 1: what we see in so many of those things, like
• 19:22
  Speaker 1: we who are weary and think that maybe could be true.
• 19:25
  Speaker 1: Also note that we have good friends, and so we
• 19:28
  Speaker 1: know that our single life would be fine because we
• 19:31
  Speaker 1: have good friends. But one of the tell tell marks
• 19:34
  Speaker 1: is our friendship something that bothers our partners or can
• 19:38
  Speaker 1: they be a part of that? And I am very
• 19:40
  Speaker 1: glad to say that my partner's wonderful and understands how
• 19:44
  Speaker 1: important my friends are and that he would more likely
• 19:48
  Speaker 1: tell me he's going to come do this for you.
• 19:50
  Speaker 1: Tell Annie to stop doing this.
• 19:52
  Speaker 2: Good Kafer to wash my car.
• 19:55
  Speaker 1: He does this often and he's like, let me just
• 19:59
  Speaker 1: any like this is exactly how it goes, Annie, I
• 20:05
  Speaker 1: won't you just do let me do that. I'm doing
• 20:08
  Speaker 1: this thing on this thing and these types of like
• 20:10
  Speaker 1: it's quite funny to know where he will be like
• 20:14
  Speaker 1: no it, stop it and then ask me, any what's
• 20:18
  Speaker 1: what's any doing with her car? Do I need to do?
• 20:21
  Speaker 1: I need to check in on her? It's everything okay?
• 20:26
  Speaker 2: Yeah? Oh he guys all about I was like, I
• 20:30
  Speaker 2: don't want to ruin your because it was a holiday
• 20:32
  Speaker 2: when this happened. He was like no, I'll take it
• 20:34
  Speaker 2: and get a wash and do this.
• 20:36
  Speaker 1: Let me just do it, just move. But also he's like,
• 20:42
  Speaker 1: I need you to be okay, you're gonna need to
• 20:44
  Speaker 1: do these following things.
• 20:46
  Speaker 2: Yeah, which I appreciate and which I appreciate, and we're good,
• 20:49
  Speaker 2: we're good friends.
• 20:50
  Speaker 1: And yeah, like that's like partnership to me and not
• 20:56
  Speaker 1: that again, I'm not very necessarily, but that is that
• 20:58
  Speaker 1: conversation is can and that be what we're looking at
• 21:02
  Speaker 1: when we talk about that. And also like yeah, for me,
• 21:05
  Speaker 1: when I was single, hell yeah, I had a ton
• 21:07
  Speaker 1: of guy friends and I'm like, I need you to
• 21:09
  Speaker 1: do this. I need you to come change my tires.
• 21:11
  Speaker 1: I'm gonna need you, Like I really did that. I
• 21:15
  Speaker 1: had two of my guy friends who would constantly help
• 21:18
  Speaker 1: me move because I couldn't quite afford movers, and even
• 21:22
  Speaker 1: my brother, my father did it a few times. Like
• 21:24
  Speaker 1: I'm like, you know what, And again that's the kind
• 21:26
  Speaker 1: of privilege statement and that I was able to have
• 21:29
  Speaker 1: for it like that. But single life is understanding. We
• 21:31
  Speaker 1: have to ask for help and nobody can do any
• 21:34
  Speaker 1: of these things on their own as well, but like
• 21:36
  Speaker 1: it's manageable.
• 21:38
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yes, and again the distinction between the healthy relationship
• 21:46
  Speaker 2: and the non healthy one, because, as we have discussed,
• 21:51
  Speaker 2: if you're in the non healthy one, then you're taking
• 21:53
  Speaker 2: care of and the heteronormed of sense him too, probably
• 21:57
  Speaker 2: and his family. But if you'd have that kind of
• 22:02
  Speaker 2: healthy relationship, then it's it's nice. And yes, I mean
• 22:10
  Speaker 2: I have figured out a lot of traditionally masculine things
• 22:15
  Speaker 2: on my own. I can do them, I know I can.
• 22:19
  Speaker 2: But sometimes, yeah, this would be nice to have someone
• 22:24
  Speaker 2: else here.
• 22:28
  Speaker 1: That's why we're gonna look into a commune.
• 22:32
  Speaker 2: I'm all about it. I Uh, I would never do this,
• 22:36
  Speaker 2: but I know, I know how you feel about this.
• 22:40
  Speaker 2: My well, my ex messaged me recently and he got married.
• 22:46
  Speaker 2: Good for you. Oh and I saw another ex recently
• 22:48
  Speaker 2: what is going on? And he was gotta you know,
• 22:53
  Speaker 2: I got married and all of it. And I was like, oh, congrats,
• 22:57
  Speaker 2: you know, good for you. Uh, but I had this
• 23:04
  Speaker 2: part of me that he was like, what the are
• 23:05
  Speaker 2: you up to? And I was like, listen to our
• 23:07
  Speaker 2: recent episode about how having a boyfriend, I would never
• 23:13
  Speaker 2: do it. I would never do it. This kind of
• 23:16
  Speaker 2: made me laugh.
• 23:18
  Speaker 1: Yeah, same, all Yeah, happier without you. Thanks for asking,
• 23:25
  Speaker 1: and I.
• 23:25
  Speaker 2: Think you're happier without me. We weren't meant for each other.
• 23:31
  Speaker 1: He was reaching out, so that makes me wonder.
• 23:36
  Speaker 2: Yeah, well, I just assumed that it might be a
• 23:40
  Speaker 2: i'm married.
• 23:41
  Speaker 1: Now, why would Why does he need to tell you?
• 23:45
  Speaker 1: Because that's the point of that.
• 23:47
  Speaker 2: I don't know.
• 23:48
  Speaker 1: Yeah, why you're oblivious?
• 23:51
  Speaker 2: I guess I thought it was maybe kind of a
• 23:54
  Speaker 2: i'm good without you.
• 23:57
  Speaker 1: If you're actually good without you, don't really have to
• 23:59
  Speaker 1: say I'm good with how you maybe out loud, you
• 24:03
  Speaker 1: don't have to flaunt anything.
• 24:07
  Speaker 2: I don't know, You're right, what do I know.
• 24:09
  Speaker 1: I'm just saying, sound like the case in this situation,
• 24:13
  Speaker 1: there's no need to reach it because I bet you
• 24:15
  Speaker 1: if she found out but he sent a message to you,
• 24:20
  Speaker 1: she would be unhappy and have some thoughts. I'm just saying.
• 24:25
  Speaker 1: And that is a marker in itself.
• 24:28
  Speaker 2: Well, yeah, all I said was congrats, I'm doing fine.
• 24:33
  Speaker 2: That's it. Relationship. You got to navigate all these things
• 24:40
  Speaker 2: past present. Well, I that's just some of the thoughts
• 24:48
  Speaker 2: I have I've been having about this. But I do
• 24:52
  Speaker 2: think it's interesting that we're having more conversations about all
• 24:55
  Speaker 2: these different ways relationships can look like and how people
• 24:58
  Speaker 2: feel about them. Oh, also I heard like that. I
• 25:02
  Speaker 2: always hear these huge arguments outside my apartment between couples,
• 25:06
  Speaker 2: and I heard another one last night and I just
• 25:08
  Speaker 2: kept thinking, girl, breakup with this girl.
• 25:11
  Speaker 1: No, that's when you want to scream through the like.
• 25:14
  Speaker 2: I just went downstairs. I was like, listen here, dump them.
• 25:19
  Speaker 2: I don't know either of you, but I'm gonna insert
• 25:23
  Speaker 2: myself and say.
• 25:25
  Speaker 1: Involving the whole apartment, you are.
• 25:29
  Speaker 2: Two hours they were arguing too, Dear. Anyway, I hope
• 25:35
  Speaker 2: all of you listeners are doing well relationships. Yes, so
• 25:44
  Speaker 2: you're not cooking on your own, yes, which me and
• 25:47
  Speaker 2: my mom do. And this is one of my biggest
• 25:49
  Speaker 2: pet peeves is this new guy comes in and tries
• 25:52
  Speaker 2: to cut the turkey and I told him no last
• 25:55
  Speaker 2: year because I said, this is not I don't want
• 25:58
  Speaker 2: you in here, and in fact, you will wait until
• 26:01
  Speaker 2: we tell you food is ready, or you'll eat a snack.
• 26:04
  Speaker 2: But we are the ones that did this, so goodbye.
• 26:08
  Speaker 1: Don't touch a thing.
• 26:10
  Speaker 2: Do you think I'm not hungry.
• 26:14
  Speaker 1: Anyway?
• 26:16
  Speaker 2: Yes, I hope every everyone has as good of a
• 26:21
  Speaker 2: holidays or whatever you're doing as possible, and that you
• 26:25
  Speaker 2: do have happy, healthy relationships and that you have good friends.
• 26:29
  Speaker 2: That is what I'm thankful for, supportive good friends. If
• 26:35
  Speaker 2: you would like to contact us, we would love to
• 26:37
  Speaker 2: hear from you. You can email us at Hello Stuffmennever
• 26:39
  Speaker 2: Told You dot com com, find us on blue Sky
• 26:41
  Speaker 2: at momstaff podcast, or on Instagram and TikTok and stuff
• 26:44
  Speaker 2: when Never Told You. We're also on YouTube. We have
• 26:47
  Speaker 2: some new merchandise dot com bureau, and we have a
• 26:49
  Speaker 2: book you can get wherever you get your books. Thanks
• 26:52
  Speaker 2: is always too. Our superducer Christine, are executy Pruce My
• 26:55
  Speaker 2: and a contributor Joey. Thank you and they see you
• 26:57
  Speaker 2: for listening. Stuff One Never Told You is prediction of my
• 26:59
  Speaker 2: heart Radio. For more podcasts my heart Radio, you can
• 27:01
  Speaker 2: check out the heart Radio app Apple podcast where readular
• 27:03
  Speaker 2: listen to your favorite shows