Latest / Life After Birth by Her Health Room / The First Trimester Nobody Prepares You For | Symptoms, Work & What to Do

Transcript

The First Trimester Nobody Prepares You For | Symptoms, Work & What to Do · Life After Birth by Her Health Room

• 0:00
  By the time that they offered me the role, I was nine weeks pregnant.
• 0:03
  I remember feeling like,"Crap.
• 0:05
  Am I supposed to tell them that I can't commit to the job longer term because I'm pregnant?
• 0:10
  The first trimester might actually be the weirdest part of pregnancy because you feel completely different, like physically, mentally, and how you interact with the world is completely changed because you know that you're expecting in the next nine or 10 months.
• 0:23
  It's also the period that you do relatively alone So how do you navigate the first trimester when your body has changed, your mind is changing, your relationship with your work is changing, but you're expected to carry on as normal During my first trimester, I was applying for a new job, coming up to a career milestone, trying to avoid infections in the hospital where I was working at the time, all whilst not telling anyone I was pregnant.
• 0:44
  And in this video, I'm gonna walk you through my journey through the first trimester, how I navigated it, and give you some tips that can help you in your journey in the first trimester.
• 0:52
  While you're here, subscribe to the channel and drop a comment down below to let me know how your first trimester was and what was the most difficult thing that you found And by the end of this episode, you're hopefully gonna go away encouraged with the right decisions that you can make for yourself to make sure that you thrive in your first trimester I'll start off by saying that there's no right way to react when you have a pregnancy test.
• 1:12
  We had been trying for a few months, and I do have a video that I'll list up here somewhere about our journey to conception.
• 1:19
  And so when I took a pregnancy test and it was positive, I was relieved because I had been going through these thoughts about whether or not I'd even be able to have another baby if I'd left it too late blahdy, blah.
• 1:28
  It's all in that other video.
• 1:29
  So I was relieved, and I was happy.
• 1:31
  And then I did the quick math, and was like,"When would my due date be?" And it was, like, middle of August, and I was like,"Ugh, that's a little bit inconvenient." And then all of a sudden, I start planning in my head, as we do, what's gonna happen?
• 1:41
  When's the baby gonna come?
• 1:42
  Where am I gonna be at that time?
• 1:44
  Because I will go on to talk about where my career was at But relief, I think, would be the thing that I would say was the overwhelming emotion that I felt And being the type of person I am, literally calculated it on the day.
• 1:55
  So if you're new here, I'm an obstetrics and gynecology doctor with more than 10 years of experience working in the NHS.
• 2:00
  I'm a mother of two, so I've done this twice before, and I'm gonna have my third baby in the next few weeks.
• 2:04
  Maybe by the time this video's up, on this channel, I just want to help women navigate the pregnancy, postpartum, the period beyond that with clarity, with safety, and with support.
• 2:13
  And if that's something that you're interested in, do subscribe to this channel.
• 2:16
  Share it with someone who you know is in this season of life, and let's thrive together So even in and amongst that, did I feel able to enjoy the news that I was pregnant?
• 2:28
  Most definitely.
• 2:29
  I really wanted to have another baby.
• 2:30
  We'd been trying, and I just knew it'd be a blessing.
• 2:33
  Was I scared?
• 2:34
  Yes.
• 2:35
  A part of me was like,"What have I done?""Have I put myself back into chaos?" Which, will have to be another episode where I talk about sort of family sizes.
• 2:43
  But, I was really excited.
• 2:44
  I had calculated the due date based on when my last period was, and I was like, in my head, making a plan that this baby's gonna come here.
• 2:51
  This is what's gonna happen, and we're gonna have a great next 10 to 10 months, or so I thought When I took my pregnancy test, I was three weeks out from my last period.
• 2:59
  So again, if you watch the video that I'm talking about, my period shortened, so I'd had a really early pregnancy test.
• 3:05
  And because I'm a doctor, I'm an obstetrician, I'm constantly checking...
• 3:09
  Every pregnancy I have, I'm constantly repeating the test,'cause it's not like I don't believe it, but I'm like, no, I need to make sure that line gets darker.
• 3:16
  I might even put a picture here of, what my first pregnancy test was and how faint it was.
• 3:20
  Don't even know if you can see it in the picture, it was that faint.
• 3:22
  And then repeat the test so that, just to check that it's getting darker and darker, just to prove that, I am pregnant.
• 3:28
  Because I have found with myself that by the time you do a pregnancy test on the day that you've missed your period, you might not yet have any of the pregnancy symptoms.
• 3:35
  So say that was, like, week three, from my last period, then when I was about five weeks, I think, five and a half weeks pregnant, that's when my symptoms started to kick in.
• 3:45
  and for me, I've always get the sort of heightened sense of smell, breast tenderness, feeling nauseous but not really vomiting.
• 3:54
  And this particular pregnancy, the whole way through, everything just tastes gross.
• 4:00
  the only things that seem to satisfy my palate are, like, salt and pepper, Which then causes me, significant heartburn and intense regret as to why I did this to myself.
• 4:08
  But those were my symptoms, and I was, like, really bloated.
• 4:11
  Some of the pictures that I have of that time, my tummy was, like, visible from about six, seven weeks pregnant, even though by that point the uterus is still very much in the pelvis.
• 4:22
  And I actually became aware of, diastasis recti, which I would've obviously had from my last pregnancies, but it wasn't something that I was aware of.
• 4:30
  It wasn't something I picked up on.
• 4:31
  I'd actually never gone to see a physiotherapist or get any help from that perspective.
• 4:35
  And it became really evident that I've got a significant diastasis recti, which is on my list, top of my list to sort out once this baby drops And that was probably the thing that surprised me most, that, I'd had a pregnancy before.
• 4:47
  I thought things were fine.
• 4:48
  I'd started even working out the summer before, I don't think I would've picked up on it unless I'd gone to see a physio, which again, I felt no need for.
• 4:56
  But the rest of it, given that it was my third pregnancy, were symptoms I expected.
• 4:59
  I probably didn't expect how tired I was, so I thought I'd be able to carry on exercising through the first trimester, but a lot of my workouts, because I was still working in hospital, were at, 6:00 in the morning.
• 5:10
  So then when my personal trainer would, call me for my workouts, I just couldn't get myself out of bed.
• 5:15
  The fatigue was unreal.
• 5:17
  And luckily from the second trimester, even into my third, I've not felt that tired since And then, the smells and all these things.
• 5:23
  And it's like, how do you navigate that while you're going to work, not really telling anyone, trying to act normal?
• 5:29
  And it was hard.
• 5:30
  And because obviously my tummy had grown, I'd lost weight, so when I, when we go to work, we wear scrubs.
• 5:36
  So I'd lost weight, so I was in the small scrubs.
• 5:37
  And then because I was bloated more so than actually having a bump, I then had to go back up to, the baggier sizes of the scrubs to try and hide the changes that were in my body.
• 5:48
  My boobs looked bigger probably as early as, eight, nine weeks.
• 5:52
  So trying to, camouflage, the pregnancy or conceal it was probably one of the things that was, like, top of mind for me And I think it's really important that we allow ourselves to feel whatever we want to feel when you have a positive test.
• 6:06
  So for instance, like for me, it was joy, it was relief.
• 6:09
  But for some people it's disappointment.
• 6:11
  For some people it's like,"I'm not ready." like there'll be people who might get pregnant quite soon after having a baby from before, or empty nesters who then get pregnant in the menopause.
• 6:21
  not every pregnancy test results in a positive feeling straight away.
• 6:25
  But also it's normal to feel happy, but also to feel disappointed at the same time, feel scared, feel horror.
• 6:31
  And it's actually just really important that you feel what you feel, and don't feel guilty about it, And if you're thinking about your career, actually put a post about this on LinkedIn, how a pregnancy test when you're a working woman, can really be stressful because then you're thinking like,"Who do I tell?
• 6:44
  When do I tell?
• 6:45
  How do I tell, my bosses?" There are so many things that can come up for you in the first days or weeks after having, a positive pregnancy test.
• 6:51
  And then thinking about the symptoms that you have, everyone's symptoms will be different.
• 6:55
  there'll be some people that I see who might bleed throughout their early pregnancy.
• 6:59
  They have scans, their baby's fine, they go on to have a normal pregnancy.
• 7:02
  Or they have, really intense nausea and vomiting called hyperemesis, which might mean for the first 12, 13, 14 weeks of the pregnancy, they're constantly in hospital, needing treatment or anti-sickness.
• 7:13
  The first trimester itself is a really key time because so much change is happening, but it's also a time where you're worried about miscarriage, you're worried that the pregnancy's not in the right place.
• 7:23
  You're worried about telling your bosses if you have one, and you're worried about the effect on your day-to-day life because it really is an upheaval that happens And I think it's really important that you look after yourself as much as you can.
• 7:33
  So for me, where I was just feeling this intensity, I couldn't wake up to get to the personal trainer session.
• 7:39
  it got to a point where I messaged him and said,"Hey, I'm pregnant.
• 7:41
  I really don't know that I can carry on." And then he started sending me videos of people working out in their pregnancies.
• 7:47
  And I was just like, you know what?
• 7:49
  Block.
• 7:49
  I don't need that pressure.
• 7:51
  I had done well to lose, a really good amount of weight that I was happy I'd reached my goal.
• 7:55
  But I was like, actually, no, I'm over 35.
• 7:57
  This is my third pregnancy.
• 7:59
  I know my iron levels tend to be on the lower side.
• 8:01
  If I'm tired, I'm going to sleep.
• 8:03
  I'm not gonna push through just to prove a point, just to feel like I'm doing pregnancy right.
• 8:08
  Don't let anyone else's journey put pressure on you to do your first, second, or third trimester in any particular way.
• 8:15
  it has to be what works for you and works for the symptoms that you're feeling so if you remember, I said that my Pregnancy test was positive three weeks from my last period.
• 8:24
  So then for me, that's an early test.
• 8:26
  So if you are trying and you have a 28-day cycle, you know these, early pregnancy test kits that you can buy that you can take a few days before your period is due, and then they'll pick up that faint line?
• 8:36
  So I think that's obviously what had happened to me.
• 8:39
  So in my head, I know I'm a doctor, I should know better, I started documenting my period on my Oura app from my positive pregnancy test.
• 8:46
  And so whatever date my last period was, instead of counting, oh, I'm three weeks pregnant, in my head I was like,"Oh, I must be, like, four weeks pregnant," and started counting from then.
• 8:57
  and then so at, five weeks pregnant, I was like,"Would it be visible on a scan?" But I just kinda left it for another couple of weeks.
• 9:05
  So then I thought I was seven weeks pregnant, and I went to a colleague of mine and said,"Oh, could you scan me?
• 9:11
  I think I'm seven weeks pregnant.
• 9:13
  I just wanna make sure that the pregnancy's in the right place." And then she measured me, she's like,"No, you're only five weeks." And I was just like,"Oh, that's really interesting,"'cause based on my dates, and then it twigged, that based on my dates I might have been seven weeks, but my periods were considerably shorter and my ovulation probably only happened, a week-ish before, the positive test, that I'd obviously missed a week or so somewhere.
• 9:36
  Anyway, so got my dates based on that, and, I'll go on to talk about my 12-week scan which gave me my official date.
• 9:44
  I have found every time I'm pregnant, because I see a lot of miscarriage at work, I see people have ectopic pregnancies, I just get super nervous.
• 9:52
  "Am I still pregnant?
• 9:53
  Am I still pregnant?
• 9:53
  Am I still pregnant?" And I would do the repeat tests and have always just wanted an early scan for reassurance.
• 9:59
  Which you can pay for, you can ask your GP for, especially if you're having like pain in any particular parts of the tummy whilst you're in that early pregnancy stage.
• 10:07
  Or if you're bleeding, you can also get an early scan as well.
• 10:10
  So I was able to get an early scan which reassured me, allowed me to carry on with just like getting on with it and there was nothing really else to do at that point.
• 10:17
  But then, yeah.
• 10:19
  And I think for you, for the person listening to this or watching this, it's about knowing yourself.
• 10:26
  Like I'm not gonna advertise that you go and get a private scan but knowing yourself.
• 10:30
  If you've had a miscarriage before, you could ask your doctor for an early scan for reassurance.
• 10:36
  If you've had an ectopic pregnancy before, you could ask your doctor for an early scan for reassurance.
• 10:40
  Any bleeding in this current pregnancy, and if, even if you just have anxiety, you can make the ask, right?
• 10:45
  But be mindful that a scan will only tell you what's happening with the pregnancy.
• 10:50
  It's not gonna prevent anything.
• 10:51
  So if you have a scan at seven weeks and you can see, the tiny fetal pole and you can see the heartbeat, that's, obviously a relief.
• 10:59
  That's what everyone wants to see.
• 11:00
  But it can't predict that pregnancy's gonna be ongoing and well at 10 weeks or 12 weeks or 16 weeks or 40 weeks really.
• 11:06
  It just tells you what's happening in that moment in time.
• 11:10
  But I think even, that's enough to reassure you, that, okay, the pregnancy's where it needs to be.
• 11:14
  There is a heartbeat.
• 11:15
  I can't predict the future, but at least I have the information that I need for now, and then you go from there.
• 11:20
  So that would be my advice to anyone.
• 11:23
  12 weeks feels like a really long time to wait, and I've done it three times, and it just feels really long.
• 11:28
  So if you can access an early scan to relieve you of anxiety, to give you a bit more peace of mind, I would completely say do it.
• 11:35
  At the top of this video, I mentioned about being physically pregnant but at work trying to hide it, and working as an obstetrician/gynecologist, working full time, Being pregnant while working just unleashes a new level of anxiety because you just know more, you see more and It's really hard to not then be like, Crap, I hope that doesn't happen to me." You're only human.
• 11:56
  And despite the fact that I've been doing it for almost 12 years and the fact that I'm on my third baby, it doesn't make it any less scary or worrying.
• 12:03
  But from a professional point of view, I was very much"I don't want my bosses to know that I'm pregnant." and so'cause I'm, was in a training program, I was in my last two months actually of my training program, I needed their feedback, I needed their recommendation to be like,"Yeah, she's done all that she needs to do to finish training.
• 12:20
  She's ready to be a consultant." And often I'd get people be like,"Oh, what are you gonna do next?" And,"What jobs are you gonna apply for?" And,"What consultant post are you gonna get?" And I was just like,"I'm not ready to have those conversations." The feedback I would often get would be along the lines of,"Oh, if you're not ready now, when are you gonna be ready?
• 12:37
  Oh, this is not the time to play with your career.
• 12:39
  Oh, you need to be on the shop floor.
• 12:41
  You need to be getting your skills in.
• 12:42
  You need to be doing this.
• 12:43
  You need to be doing that." And that was just not the environment in which I felt that I wanted to tell anyone that I was gonna have a baby.
• 12:49
  and actually I'd come across a role that was a very different role, not clinical, and I spoke to a few people about it that I felt I could trust, and even they were like,"Why would you go into a job that's not clinical?
• 12:58
  It's gonna take your skills away.
• 12:59
  You're wasting your time," and I was like, you know what?
• 13:01
  I'm just gonna apply for this role because it looks interesting to me.
• 13:04
  and then by the time I heard back for the interview, I'd already found out that I was pregnant.
• 13:08
  And so by the time the interview itself rolled around, I was probably, like seven weeks pregnant.
• 13:13
  And then by the time that they offered me the role, I was maybe eight or nine weeks pregnant.
• 13:18
  And so I remember getting the call, being like,"Look, you've got the job," and me feeling like,"Crap.
• 13:23
  Am I supposed to tell them that I can't commit to the job longer term because I'm pregnant?
• 13:28
  But I'm only nine weeks, and we know that anything can happen in that first trimester." Why should I not take a job because I'm preg- like, there was so much going on for me mentally.
• 13:38
  I throw that question to you.
• 13:39
  have you passed over a role just because you were pregnant?
• 13:42
  Do you regret it?
• 13:43
  Do you wish that you hadn't?
• 13:44
  And I just find it really hard when you're in your career, you're having babies.
• 13:48
  You have all these, weird voices coming at you about what you should and shouldn't be doing, and then you've got, an internal, guide as, actually what's best for me.
• 13:54
  And for me, what was best for me was this new role.
• 13:57
  and I was like,"No, I'm gonna take it." So I, I didn't tell them I was pregnant, to be fair.
• 14:00
  And legally, in the UK, you don't need to tell anyone you're pregnant until 15 weeks before your due date.
• 14:05
  So you've got until week 25, and I was on week nine.
• 14:08
  You're working with the rules and the guidances that you have, and I think oftentimes being pregnant, you often feel Should I be less ambitious?
• 14:14
  Should I step back?
• 14:15
  Should I take a break in my career?" Just no.
• 14:17
  Do what you need to do And I just think that, being pregnant does not kill ambition.
• 14:22
  Wanting to have another baby, having a big family, it doesn't kill ambition.
• 14:25
  It doesn't affect your career really in any way, and the myth or the idea that people keep portraying as if it does is more to do with them than you.
• 14:36
  Because I know women who've had three babies, four, five, six, and they kill it in the workplace, and I just think that there's never the right time to have a child.
• 14:44
  You just have to get on with it.
• 14:46
  You don't need to forsake, I feel, your career for the baby and vice versa.
• 14:51
  And don't get me wrong, if your pregnancy is tough, and it's really hard, and you're really not coping at work, then yeah, of course, you're probably not gonna go for that next promotion.
• 14:59
  But if you feel able to, I wouldn't be like,"No, put off the promotion," because you're pregnant, and that's definitely not what I've done.
• 15:05
  I do think that we have the ability to do both and to do both really well.
• 15:09
  And if you're Like, if you go for an interview, and you smash the interview you should then say no to the job because you're pregnant?
• 15:16
  I don't agree with that.
• 15:17
  Thinking about the other side of not disclosing your pregnancy in the first trimester, there are downsides to keeping it to yourself, and I experienced those downsides.
• 15:24
  So I'm working around women who are pregnant, who are sick as well.
• 15:27
  So say someone has the flu and I need to go and manage them or treat them, that's my role in that situation, to treat or manage them.
• 15:35
  And if I'm not able to because I'm pregnant, then it's things like filling out risk assessment, occupational health, and all of those things, and basically alerting to everyone you work with that you're pregnant.
• 15:46
  But I do think that there are protections in place the earlier you disclose.
• 15:50
  Because if you're bleeding, if you're vomiting, and the symptoms you're having are really, detrimental or affecting you, then the earlier you disclose the pregnancy, the more support should be available for you in the first trimester.
• 16:03
  I know people who've had really heavy bleeding, and they've had their work adjusted for them, been able to work from home.
• 16:09
  Same if you go on to have a pregnancy loss or a miscarriage, making sure, because people at work know, there is hopefully compassion, but then there is support for you to get the procedures, time off as well.
• 16:21
  And actually for, pregnancy loss in the UK, you should, as the person carrying the pregnancy, be able to get 10 days of paid leave and those things you can only really access when you've spoken up.
• 16:32
  And I think sometimes I've done myself a disservice by not speaking up.
• 16:36
  Like, when I think back to my second pregnancy, this was more second trimester, but it was during COVID.
• 16:40
  I was on the ward.
• 16:41
  There were other COVID patients there, and I just hadn't really told anyone that I was pregnant.
• 16:45
  When I did tell them and I got my, occupational health assessment, the person the review was like,"What is wrong with you?""We could have signed you off the minute you had a positive pregnancy test," because it was COVID.
• 16:55
  And sometimes you don't know what's available to you because you're not having those conversations with people.
• 16:59
  You're not asking around.
• 17:00
  You're not seeing what options are there for you so role that I moved into, more into my second trimester I told my line manager and their manager, and I told HR.
• 17:10
  And it wasn't until I was ready to share my news with everybody else was the news shared.
• 17:13
  But coming back to this first trimester, the silent trimester, the trimester where you're carrying the physical burden, you're carrying the social burden as well if you're working and what that means for work.
• 17:24
  If you've got children before as well, like, when do you tell your kids?
• 17:27
  How soon do you involve them?
• 17:29
  Do you wait for the first trimester to be over heaven forbid, if you have a miscarriage they're not overtly, invested already.
• 17:35
  I remember we watched Up and the kids knew anyway.
• 17:38
  There's a scene where he and his wife, they got married, and it does a flash through their lives, and there's one point that she's pregnant and they've got the nursery set up.
• 17:46
  Then they go to the hospital, and they come home with no baby, and my oldest was like, What happened to the baby?" And I was like,"Oh, babies can die." And my second was like,"Oh, I hope your baby doesn't die." And I was just like,"Yeah, me too." And it's obviously really sad, but it's reality.
• 18:01
  And it can just be tricky.
• 18:02
  It's like, when do you tell your child about the pregnancy?
• 18:06
  Because what if something goes wrong?
• 18:08
  And that's a personal decision, I think.
• 18:10
  My oldest knew in the first trimester because a family member let it slip.
• 18:14
  And then my second, we didn't tell until we were into the second trimester.
• 18:18
  And the minute we told her, she told absolutely everybody, and that's another thing that I probably didn't factor in, is when you tell them, you also have to be prepared for the fact that they will tell absolutely everybody.
• 18:29
  we were in the farm and bumped into an old uni friend.
• 18:32
  For no absolute reason that I could think of, my daughter bumps into the conversation to be like,"My mummy's pregnant." And you just have that awkward silence.
• 18:39
  And you say,"Yes.
• 18:40
  Yes, I am." You have to be prepared for that.
• 18:42
  So I think that's also another social effect that having a pregnancy can have, especially in the first trimester.
• 18:49
  And just thinking about the mental load of it all, like juggling those things that I've mentioned throughout this episode, what does that do to your mental health?
• 18:57
  And also, your hormones are changing as well, and your body's changing.
• 19:01
  And some of the symptoms are really hard, it just makes you miserable, and that will affect people to a different degree.
• 19:07
  There is no right way to feel, but if you feel like your mental health is really deteriorating because of the pregnancy symptoms, I do think that it's important that you seek help.
• 19:16
  There are medications that you can take in pregnancy for depression and for anxiety that are only accessible if you ask for help.
• 19:23
  You can do talking therapy.
• 19:23
  there's just options for you to think about So don't, suffer in silence.
• 19:30
  Don't think that actually, because this is how I feel in my first trimester, the first trimester's rough for everybody, this is normal.
• 19:35
  It's not.
• 19:36
  The first trimester is rough because your body is changing so much but we have medication for sickness.
• 19:43
  We've got supplements for deficiencies.
• 19:46
  We've got scans, to reassure.
• 19:48
  We've got medication for mental health.
• 19:50
  there are so many things that you could take or try that you shouldn't suffer in silence.
• 19:56
  Don't normalize the suffering from it.
• 19:58
  I remember speaking to someone who had really bad morning sickness, hyperemesis, but never went to the hospital'cause they just wanted to manage it with what they had at home.
• 20:06
  And I was like,"No, but if you had gone to the hospital, then you'd have had more options in hospital." And often women do feel better after getting a drip, after having an injection.
• 20:15
  You don't have to put up with it to the extent that you had, and it might not have worked for you.
• 20:20
  You could have done all that, and it didn't work anyway.
• 20:22
  But you don't know unless you try.
• 20:23
  So it really is worth seeking help because help is available to just make that season slightly easier And so other things that happen in the first trimester are your booking appointment, and typically it should be done less than 10 weeks.
• 20:36
  I think I had mine over 10 weeks at that appointment, I had my blood taken, asked questions about my previous pregnancies, my health, and things that had been going on for me.
• 20:44
  And at that point I was like,"I know I'm gonna be anemic.
• 20:47
  Can you please just give me iron tablets?" And in true midwife knows best, doctor knows best fashion, they were like,"No, no, no.
• 20:53
  Let's just do the blood test first and check." And then 48 hours later, I got a text message being like,"Oh, now you need to go to this center to pick up some iron tablets." And I'm like, Why didn't you just believe me the first time?
• 21:02
  My iron levels were low, my hemoglobin was low even before I was pregnant, which you could also see in your system, so why not believe me the first time?" So then it was, taking my iron tablets, folic acid, vitamin D.
• 21:12
  I think I was taking omega-3 as well, and just, trying to take those tablets where you feel well, don't miss the first trimester.
• 21:17
  Don't miss it at all.
• 21:18
  What's important when you go into the booking appointment is to go into it with what you also want to get out of it.
• 21:24
  So sometimes you're there and they're asking you, a million and one questions, and you're just like,"All they're doing is fact-finding, and they're gonna give me some leaflets, and they're gonna send me home." And it's just well, no, you can also take charge of it.
• 21:34
  So know your medical history, know your mental health history, know what you want or what you expect, any questions you have.
• 21:41
  Because what I didn't say is even as an obstetrician, even as someone who's had babies before, I was still googling things in my first trimester.
• 21:50
  "Oh yeah, what cheeses am I not meant to have?" Oh,"Is it okay that I'm having a strong coffee every day?" And, these are things that I would have googled for my first pregnancy and my second pregnancy, but then you forget.
• 21:58
  And then you're like,"Oh, what is this symptom?" Even I know how normal it is to google.
• 22:03
  And then the more you look for things, whether it's on your TikTok, your Instagram, your Google account, then the algorithm does its magic.
• 22:10
  And then all are things around pregnancy.
• 22:11
  What supplements should you take?
• 22:12
  What pad should you buy if you're bleeding, and X, Y, Z?
• 22:15
  And I think that's not bad, but when you're going to that first appointment, be it at 10 weeks, you've already had so much information from the online world that when you get there at 10 weeks, you wanna validate some of those questions.
• 22:27
  So if it says something like you shouldn't have any caffeine, any fruit, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
• 22:33
  Like, when you then go to the midwife, you should be like,"I read this online.
• 22:35
  Is this correct?
• 22:37
  I wanted to take these supplements specifically.
• 22:39
  Is this safe?" Go in there armed with questions that will serve what it is that you want to achieve in the pregnancy, and if you're like,"Oh, I'm looking up information like this," can they point you in a direction of better information, better educational sources, good reputable apps?
• 22:54
  Can they give you a leaflet?
• 22:56
  What can they give you so you don't come out of that just feeling like you've been interrogated for an hour?
• 23:02
  And obviously, I'm biased.
• 23:03
  I knew that I was just gonna let them do what they wanted to do.
• 23:06
  I'd made my ask for what I wanted to ask for.
• 23:08
  They said no.
• 23:09
  I kept it moving.
• 23:10
  But definitely go down with a list of questions from all the research that I know you've already done, and fact-check it with the midwife.
• 23:16
  And ask them,"What team am I gonna be under?
• 23:18
  How many midwives am I gonna see?
• 23:20
  This is the time to shape it.
• 23:22
  And if you know that there's something concerning you, if you want to see an obstetrician, be like,"I feel like I need to speak to a doctor about X, Y, and Z." And then they can refer you on.
• 23:30
  Especially, obviously depending on the unit that you're in.
• 23:32
  But make use of that booking appointment so that you can go home feeling you've gotten across what you needed to get across, and then you've gone home with more information and knowledge as well So ultimately, there's no perfect way to do the first trimester, the pregnancy, the delivery.
• 23:44
  nothing is also really within our control.
• 23:47
  The symptoms aren't within our control.
• 23:49
  To an extent, when we tell our managers is within our control, but you can't control their reactions.
• 23:53
  In an ideal world, you get all the support, you get the risk assessments, you get the occupational assessments, things like that.
• 23:58
  But again, you can't predict that any of it will go your way.
• 24:01
  I have found every time I'm pregnant and working, that it feels like a constant battle with the employer to just do the right thing when it comes to, paperwork, almost to the extent that you have to become an HR professional and an accounts payroll specialist to make sure everything lines up.
• 24:15
  But there is no perfect way to do it.
• 24:17
  What I want you to leave with is whatever you're going through in the first trimester, if it's, physical symptoms, seek help.
• 24:24
  If it's physical symptoms that are affecting work, speak up.
• 24:27
  If it's interacting with the healthcare system actually and wanting a scan or wanted advice, advocate for yourself.
• 24:33
  Go with someone, write it all down, and just trust that the first trimester, in my experience and for a lot of women that I speak to, often feels like the hardest, often feels like the loneliest, and often has, the mental load of, like, when do I do it?
• 24:45
  When do I tell?
• 24:46
  The minute the pregnancy is visible, for a lot of people it just feels easier.
• 24:51
  And so I will be discussing my tips and tricks about the second trimester, which was glorious.
• 24:56
  In the following episode So make sure you subscribe to get some tips and tricks on how to navigate the second trimester.
• 25:02
  And in the meantime, if you have any questions about the first trimester, drop them down below.
• 25:06
  Subscribe to this channel and share with someone in your network who you think will genuinely benefit from understanding how to navigate the pregnancy period, the postpartum period, and even life beyond.
• 25:16
  Until next time