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What Percentage of Adults in The US Live The Exceptional Life? · The Missing Secret Podcast

• 0:00
  John Mitchell: Welcome to The Missing Secret Podcast. I'm Kelly Hatfield, hey, and I'm John Mitchell. So we got a good topic today, and I want you to think about this. Everybody, just think about this. What percentage of adults in the United States are successful as defined by living the exceptional life, where they're making a good income, over $100,000 where they have a great romantic relationship, and they are in control of their health. So just think about that. Kelly, what do you what off the top of your head would you all probably already know, but what do you think most people will say, Honey, maybe that's
• 0:50
  Kelly Hatfield: I will if, if it's being defined by those three things that you just mentioned, which would be, you know, a good income, a healthy relationship, and health and control over their health. You know, I would say I don't know, 50% or less,
• 1:07
  John Mitchell: Yeah, I think, I think that's a good
• 1:11
  Kelly Hatfield: I would say 50% or less. Would say they were, yeah, for sure. I mean, I'm sure that the number is really low, but I would say definitely less than 50% of people would would say they're living the exceptional life.
• 1:23
  John Mitchell: Well, this is interesting, yo, let's talk about the income for a second, $100,000 that's not that big a deal. It really, I mean, it really isn't what I the average income is probably 60,000 so that we're not, you're not. We're not coming up with some extravagant number on the income, and then where you have a really good romantic relationship, you know, where, where you're probably rating it a eight and a half or more, and where, where you're helping, where you're fit and and your take care of your health and all that. But I want to, let's ask Chad GPT this question. Let's, let's, factually, see what we we get from from chat. So you out for this? I am let's do it. Okay, here we go. G are you there?
• 2:13
  Chat GPT: I'm right here. John, what's on your mind today? Let's dig into whatever you're working through.
• 2:18
  John Mitchell: I think that's a good idea. Okay, so what percentage of adults in the United States are successful in living the exceptional life, as defined by having a substantial income, over $100,000 a year, having a great romantic relationship, and where they're healthy, and on top of their their health. So what percentage of the American adult population has those three things?
• 2:50
  Chat GPT: There isn't a single statistic combining all three factors, income, relationship and health, but we can look at related data. About 87% of adults earning over $100,000 report good health, and roughly 64% in relationships say they are very happy. High income adults also report higher life satisfaction. While these are separate data points, the percentage of adults who have all three at one is likely quite small, but we don't have an exact figure.
• 3:17
  John Mitchell: So what would be your guess? You can sort of do the math.
• 3:22
  Chat GPT: All right, let's piece it together. Logically, high income, say, around 15 to 20% of adults, good health, maybe half to two thirds of them, great romantic relationships, perhaps half of that group. Multiplying those rough odds, you're maybe landing in the low single digits, ballpark two to 5% it's just an estimate, but it's probably a rare trifecta.
• 3:44
  John Mitchell: Well, my experience has been, it's, it's closer to 2% so the number you came up two to 5% is, is, I think, pretty accurate. So thank you. So to me, that is amazing that that in this, this the most successful country in the world, only 2% of adults are living the exceptional life. I mean, that's ridiculous. I think, well, what's your take on it?
• 4:16
  Kelly Hatfield: Yeah, no, absolutely. And you know, as I was you asked me that question, kind of off the cuff. And as I was thinking about it, too, you know, they were talking about, there was that study on happiness, and it was directly relating it to income. And like, the number used to be $77,000 right here, and that has gone up to, I think it's 100,000 or close to 100,000 that, like people's happiness in terms of just general overall satisfaction in life related to career, is when you're kind of in that sweet spot there, you know, you're happier, right? I mean, the same thing too. In that same study, it talked about health, I think it talked about more about connection versus specifically your romantic relationship. But like connection. And with other people in close relationships, you know. But so that information, that that, you know, you just got from chat, I mean, it totally makes sense to me, and I can't, and at at the same time, like, as we're kind of, you know, vetting this out is so sad, right? You know, it's like we've only got one shot at this, you know. And and yet, you know, such a large percentage of the population here in the United States, you know, is not living the exceptional life, as a matter of fact, they're living, you know, the the opposite of that,
• 5:35
  John Mitchell: Right? Sad. So why do you think that is?
• 5:39
  Kelly Hatfield: Yeah, I think it comes down to everything that we, you know, teach. You know, it's, it's the it comes down to 95% of your thoughts being subconscious, and people taking actions associated with those subconscious they're an autopilot, you know. And I think that, you know, that's part of it. And then, you know, we've talked about this so many times, but I think to just the state of the world, you know that we're in social media, how that's being in and influencing the subconscious mind, you know, from an external standpoint. And so there's so many factors, but I think it all comes down to, you know, not having, you know, a plan for success.
• 6:19
  John Mitchell: Wait, you know? I Yes, I think that's right. I, you know, I think it comes down to three simple words. They're winging life. Yeah, they like, as you know, my favorite saying lately is, you don't rise to the level of your goals, you sink to the level of your systems. Well, the vast majority people. I mean, easily 99% of people, they don't even have a way of doing life. They're just winging it. They're just winging not that our way of doing life is the only way to do it. I clearly think it's the best but, but I respect that other people have ways to do a life like I was, I think I told you this. So a while back, someone that that I really respect, he was telling I was asked him how he how he does life and and, you know, you the way you do life is defined by your morning routine. That, to me, that's what we're talking about, is how you do, quote, unquote, do life is a function of what is your morning routine and his morning routine was he, he meditated, he journaled, and he did affirmations and, and I'm like, That is good. That's better than 99% of people, but respectfully, is not as good as as feeding the succinct articulation of your desire of life to yourself each day as good as what he was doing. Of course, that's my opinion, and and it works for him, and if, if it works for him, more power to it. Keep on doing what you're doing. Yeah. But, but for the other 99% of people, if you don't have the exceptional life, it's your fault. It is your fault, nobody else's, because you've been given this precious life, and you need to grab a hold of it and have a way of doing life. And I know when, when I was 50 years old, and I had that conversation with myself, well, why don't I have the exceptional life? I came to that conclusion, oh, it's your fault. You're not creating that, that exceptional life and and of course, I didn't have somebody that would give me a way of doing life. I had to figure it out. But I just see that life is so precious. And
• 8:46
  so many people like you've said 100 times, which is so true, they're just gliding through life. They're not really even aware of, you know, how to be successful. They're just, you know, they they want to be more successful, but they're also awful, too busy to really do anything about it.
• 9:07
  Kelly Hatfield: Yeah, I think most people are just trying to make it through the day. Yeah, yeah, you know, which is like, not, you know what I mean, like, and I get it. There's no judgment. As we're sitting here talking like I understand all of the reasons why, you know, our culture is the way that it is, you know, and and understanding the human mind and how it works, I understand that. And so there's no judgment, you know, around it. I get that life can be hard, you know. And but, you know, there's so much that you can do in terms of training your mindset, you know, to think differently. Because the other thing, and I'm going to, I'm going to say this, and I know this, you know, may piss some people off, but so many of the people who are just trying to make it through the day really do to have that victim, you know, kind of. Mentality where life is happening to them, it's always somebody else's something that's causing the issue, you know, versus going out making, I know I can see your face.
• 10:12
  John Mitchell: There goes half of our audience right there. I mean, half of our audience is clicked off right there,
• 10:19
  Kelly Hatfield: You know, because it ends it this goes back to what we've talked about, though, which is, you know, all of us have gone through stuff. And I know there may be people listening to that are like, Yeah, who are you guys? Are you know? Who are you to be talking about this? You know, you haven't maybe experienced hard things or whatever. Well, give me a phrase exactly. I would argue you know absolutely that that isn't true. Everybody's got their story. Everybody's gone through, you know, hard things, and it's a matter of how you frame that. It's a matter of, again, that whole mentality around, is life happening for you, right? Or is life happening to you? Is it like, oh god, what's next? Or is it all right, what's next? You know? Like, yeah, it's a way in which you are like, Okay, this thing just happened. It's not great. I'm not excited about it, but what am I supposed to learn as a result of going through it? You know? So again, I think that the methodology, I think what it helps with, because even as we're talking to somebody who isn't familiar with us or familiar with the concepts that we're talking about, they're working from an emotional part of their mind most of the time, you know, and that's what rules kind of their you know, their existence is their emotions and understanding, you know, this methodology and what and how that Support isn't the right word that I want to use, but how it changes your perspective and the way you look at things from more of a logical standpoint versus an emotional standpoint, because you train your mind to do that through this process. But so, yeah, I you know, I know anybody who isn't familiar with this is probably just doesn't get it. And because, two, they don't think about it, either, they don't think about their life in any depth at all, they're just trying to make it through the day. And I get that I understand why it happens from a scientific standpoint now, and how the brain works. But it's
• 12:14
  hard when you know the other way. It's hard when you know the other side to not just want to go listen to us, you know, right?
• 12:22
  John Mitchell: Well, and of course, we're, we're preaching to the choir, yeah, so they probably get it. But you know, one thing you find interesting, so in teaching my class, one of the things I teach them is to deep think two times a week. And I grade them on this. I have to turn in their thinking, their their seeds. And I look at it, I see what they're thinking about, yep, oh my god. Mean, oh my god. I don't even know where to store. But I give you, I mean, this, this is funny. You know, they, they call me Professor Mitchell, which was funny in itself. But, you know, I mean,
• 13:11
  Kelly Hatfield: You know, should I start calling you out?
• 13:13
  John Mitchell: If you don't mind, I would like that. But in the in the world of academia, and this is what's cool. At the University of Texas, we like have, I think, three Nobel Prize winners on the faculty. I mean PhDs. I mean brilliant people. And fortunately, in the business school, if you're successful enough in business, you don't have to have an advanced degree, and so that's sort of how I slid in there. But it's really interesting to to see the 20 to 21 year old mind. And like I have had a student just last week, she sends me an email. She says, Dear professor, Mitchell, I will not be able to attend class tomorrow because my dog is sick. And again, I and get my and I get it to dogs, import to you, but and I started looking at at some of the like I was looking at her, what she was writing in her thinking tablet, and totally stressed out about all sorts of things. And like, there was a shooting here in Austin, you see that right after the Iran thing? Yeah, I did. They had killed one university of texas student and injured another. And, and there's a lot of stuff, and it's funny, this particular student who I like, I really like her. She's very cute little girl and and bright and big personality, and she sort of came into the class, but sort of with that attitude that, hey, I understand mindset. I'm pretty up on mindset. She didn't have a class. Clue. Didn't add a clue. She thinks she knows, but she doesn't really know, and it's reflected in what's going on in her head. But the point of sharing all that is that oftentimes these 21 year olds are just a microcosm of what's going on in the overall world. They don't have a way of doing life, and it comes back to bite them. And one of the things I have learned in in teaching, and this is like the fourth semester I'm doing it, but they don't run, they don't really learn when I'm up there with my slides and telling them all this stuff, they learn when in the class. I now make it a point a couple of times in the
• 15:46
  class to make them recurjudate it back to me what I'm teaching them, and oftentimes how they they say it back is way off, way off. But that's okay, because that reflects not over only the person that's speaking, but it probably reflects others as well. And it's my job to be quick enough to take what they say and adjust what they say so they get it but, but it's those, those in the moment interactions, that really is when they learn. But don't you think that that what's going on with the 21 year olds is just a microcosm of of the bigger society, probably 100%
• 16:31
  Kelly Hatfield: You know? I think just even you know, you mentioned the stress that she's under, you know, right now, right? You know. And most of the writing she has are about stress, like, if you are, what? If you are on your phone and on social media, you're stressed, yeah, yeah. I mean Period, end of sentence, you are stressed. It is, you know, and especially, all you need to do is watch one or two things and your feed is going to be filled with more and more of that. So if paying, you know, if you're, if the politics piece and all of the stuff that's happening with like, you're gonna the lens you're looking through is that everything is screw rude right now, and, hey, there is a lot that's not going great, but there are also things that are, there is also a lot of good in the world too, you know, and I think that, but that's not what we're being fed. You know, on social media, that isn't what they're talking about on the news, that isn't what they're talking about. And so I think absolutely a cult. You know what you see, what you're seeing in a 21 year old, just from a culture standpoint, is absolutely, you know what's happening culturally across the board?
• 17:35
  John Mitchell: Well, you know, let's, let's do another little, quick experiment with Chad, G, P, T, on the exact points you made, let me ask right a question. So G another question,
• 17:47
  Chat GPT: Of course, John, I'm ready for it. What's your next question?
• 17:50
  John Mitchell: So with the American public, that with adults, what percentage of people look at things optimistically versus pessimistically.
• 18:02
  Chat GPT: In recent surveys, about 47% of American adults felt optimistic about the country's future, while around 53% felt pessimistic.
• 18:11
  John Mitchell: Let me adjust this. Sonia, I'm not talking about optimistic or pessimistic about the country. I'm talking about as a general frame of reference for how they operate on a daily basis, with regards to everything, what percentage are looking at things pessimistically versus optimistically?
• 18:32
  Chat GPT: In general mindset terms, about half of Americans lean optimistic and about half lean pessimistic. Specifically, Recent surveys show around 49 to 50% of adults describe themselves as optimistic, while roughly 50 to 51% describe themselves as pessimistic. So overall, it's about an even split and how people approach life day to day.
• 18:53
  John Mitchell: Well, let me challenge that. I think there's a lot of people that say they're optimistic when in fact, they're nowhere close to being optimistic, they just like to say it
• 19:03
  Chat GPT: You've got a point. Self reporting is often aspirational. Some might label themselves optimistic because it sounds better, even if they operate with doubt or worry. So in practice, the true day to day ratio might lean more cautious than people admit. It's worth digging deeper when you're coaching if you
• 19:20
  John Mitchell: if you had to make a wild guess. Now, I'll make a wild guess, and you argue this with me, but I'm betting that 66% of people, two out of three people, look at things pessimistically. You think that's a reasonable guess?
• 19:36
  Chat GPT: Honestly, I think it's reasonable to guess higher than 50% if we factor in silent worries and everyday anxieties, people often dwell on what could go wrong, whether it's exactly two thirds or not, you're right that optimism can be more fragile than people admit.
• 19:50
  John Mitchell: So I've looked at this in the past, and it has turned out to be about two thirds, 1/3 but just the Law of Attraction tells you. What you focus on and expect is, is what you're going to get. So you got to fix that. If you're by your nature, pessimistic, fix it, and you can fix it. You can fix it if you, if you influence the subconscious mind, you can move from from it. That doesn't happen immediately, but you can, you can retrain yourself to be optimistic well.
• 20:24
  Kelly Hatfield: And I think one thing that we haven't talked about in a little while John is the reticular activating system, right? Yeah, yeah. You know, whatever you look for, you will find so if you are, if you're being clear, you know about what it is you're, you know, again, all of the different things that we talk about in the life, GPS, you know where, where you're going in life, your goals, your values. If you know, if you are clear and have fed that information into your brain, you know, with repetition and you are wanting to be more of a positive person, let's say I want to find the good in life and in situations, and then your brain will start to look and find that for you, right, you know. But it goes back to again, just one layer deeper than the point you just made, which is, you know, energy begets energy, what you you get, what you give. You know, that whole, you know, kind of idea of that, there's a reason scientifically for that, which is, you know, that reticular activating system, and I think you know, to the point again, another point to what we're talking about with people being unhappy is your brain is such a powerful I mean, it runs everything, but if you're not giving it clarity, if it doesn't know what program to run, it's going to be left to its own devices, which is in living in a place of fear, living in a place of, you know, wanting to protect you, wanting to you know. So because you're wired that one, you're wired that way, you know. And so you've got to feed it the right information so it knows. You know what to look for and what to bring into your consciousness. And because all of it's there, you're just not seeing it because your brain doesn't know to look for it. It's so plugged into your social media feeds. And seeing all this, it's like, oh, right, there's more of this and more of this, and everything is bad. And then it's like, yeah, when you're saying that, like you're gonna get more of it coming in, you know? So,
• 22:20
  and and I don't want to diminish the fact that this stuff is happening in the world, but there's also other stuff happening in the world that you know is positive and good, and in your life that's positive and good so
• 22:31
  John Mitchell: Well, you know, I'd say, I look at it and I'm thinking, you know, one of the success stories of the Last 50 years just happened a week ago, when you killed the biggest terrorist in the in the world that has promoted evil, and you've wiped him off the planet. You've you've decimated this regime that has promoted terrorism. I don't know how you shake that out anywhere else but good. Now, there's lot to see how this plays out. I get that. But again, this idea of of you attract what you you focus on, and you just got to train yourself to focus on, on the good, because there's a lot of good out there. Yeah, okay, well, that with those pearls of wisdom, hopefully for you next week.