Latest / Cash Confident with Brie Sodano / Harnessing the Power of Desire for Financial Mastery

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Harnessing the Power of Desire for Financial Mastery · Cash Confident with Brie Sodano

• 0:01
  Speaker 1: Welcome to the Cash Confident podcast.
• 0:03
  Speaker 1: I'm Brie Sedano, your fearless host, personal finance expert and the visionary behind the revolutionary Cash Confident community.
• 0:10
  Speaker 1: Get ready to embark on an electrifying journey where we redefine the rules of money and empower women to harness the immense power to craft a life they truly, truly desire.
• 0:22
  Speaker 1: This podcast is the ultimate resource, meticulously crafted, for women who are ready to unleash their financial prowess and embrace a life of abundant success.
• 0:32
  Speaker 1: We leave no stone unturned as we delve into the depths of money management, mindset mastery and the undeniable influence of emotions on your financial decisions.
• 0:43
  Speaker 1: Prepare to rise above the societal limitations and break free from the chains that have held you back, as we equip you with the tools and knowledge to make bold, confident choices with your cash.
• 0:55
  Speaker 1: We believe that true financial power begins with knowledge, and that is exactly what we deliver.
• 1:02
  Speaker 1: So buckle up, my fierce and ambitious friends, as we embark on this transformative journey to becoming Cash Confident together.
• 1:10
  Speaker 1: Oh, hello, hello everyone, brie Sedano coming to you today, and today we are talking about goals and desires and plans, and the internal, masculine and feminine, and as we get into this episode, all of what I just said will make sense.
• 1:33
  Speaker 1: So let me just open up with a quick little story.
• 1:36
  Speaker 1: So yesterday I was talking with a dear friend of mine who was just having some issues in her business, not making the kind of money she wants to make, not really sure if she likes her offers, just kind of himminin on about her whole financial situation.
• 1:53
  Speaker 1: And I said, well, how much money do you want to make?
• 1:56
  Speaker 1: And she had a clear answer for that.
• 1:57
  Speaker 1: She was like I'm going to be making $10,000 a month for my business and I was like, ok, cool.
• 2:01
  Speaker 1: And I said, tell me about your business model.
• 2:03
  Speaker 1: What do you like?
• 2:04
  Speaker 1: How do you want this money to come?
• 2:05
  Speaker 1: What do you like to do?
• 2:06
  Speaker 1: What do you not like to do?
• 2:08
  Speaker 1: Basically, how do you want to serve your people?
• 2:09
  Speaker 1: And she's got a couple offers up and running, one really low ticket and one really high ticket and really nothing in between.
• 2:18
  Speaker 1: And she's like you know, I don't really know, she doesn't exactly love her high ticket offer.
• 2:25
  Speaker 1: She likes the low ticket offer but there's not really any money in it.
• 2:31
  Speaker 1: And so we're having this conversation and she's talking and I can hear her brain just spinning and spinning and spinning Like I can hear her thought.
• 2:43
  Speaker 1: She's saying all these words and I'm like listening to her thoughts and I'm like, oh, I know what's going on here.
• 2:48
  Speaker 1: And what was going on was she was using her brain, her mind, her masculine mind, her masculine.
• 2:57
  Speaker 1: The mind is our masculine faculties, the intellect logic, things like that.
• 3:03
  Speaker 1: The body is more of our feminine and when we try to set goals with no desire to check them up against, there's too many possibilities in her brain spins and spins and spins.
• 3:24
  Speaker 1: So I'm going to give you a more simple example, just to demonstrate.
• 3:28
  Speaker 1: So let's say, I say to you I'm really feeling hungry right now.
• 3:34
  Speaker 1: So that's me.
• 3:36
  Speaker 1: I'm going to be in my feminine, I'm going to be telling you how I feel.
• 3:39
  Speaker 1: I'm going to be feeling.
• 3:40
  Speaker 1: That's a feminine quality.
• 3:43
  Speaker 1: The natural response to that is, well, let's get us some food.
• 3:48
  Speaker 1: Right.
• 3:49
  Speaker 1: And if you say, well, what do you want?
• 3:51
  Speaker 1: And I say I don't know what's the natural response it's gonna be like, well, do you wanna cook at home?
• 4:00
  Speaker 1: Do you wanna go out to dinner?
• 4:02
  Speaker 1: You wanna get takeout?
• 4:03
  Speaker 1: You want to get?
• 4:06
  Speaker 1: Do you wanna go to the taco truck?
• 4:08
  Speaker 1: Do you want pizza?
• 4:09
  Speaker 1: Do you want Thai food?
• 4:10
  Speaker 1: Like, what can I offer you?
• 4:13
  Speaker 1: What can I offer you?
• 4:14
  Speaker 1: And that space of just all right, well, this, this, this.
• 4:20
  Speaker 1: And then the mind gets into the considerations.
• 4:24
  Speaker 1: So it's like all right, well, do we want what's most important?
• 4:27
  Speaker 1: Is it the speed of the food?
• 4:28
  Speaker 1: Is it the deliciousness of the food?
• 4:29
  Speaker 1: Is it the ambiance?
• 4:30
  Speaker 1: Is it the price of the food?
• 4:32
  Speaker 1: Is it, you know, the distance of the food, like you know?
• 4:36
  Speaker 1: Is it what's deliverable, right?
• 4:38
  Speaker 1: So all of these considerations, your brain is just gonna be spinning if I say I don't know, right?
• 4:43
  Speaker 1: So if I give a very clear desire about the thing that I'm wanting, then the mind can get into action and can sort that out very, very quickly.
• 4:54
  Speaker 1: So if I say I'm hungry and I want tacos, well, then the brain can go well, do you wanna go out for tacos or do you wanna make tacos here?
• 5:03
  Speaker 1: Cool, great, like.
• 5:05
  Speaker 1: And then we can narrow it down to meet the needs of fulfilling that desire, right?
• 5:13
  Speaker 1: And so here's where I'm going with this is that when it comes to building our lives, when it comes to using our money to build our lives, oftentimes we don't have desire, like if there's no truth, there's no desire in the things that we say, that we want, and when that's the case, there is too many possibilities to figure it out.
• 5:34
  Speaker 1: So one of the things that I'm that like I'll just go ahead and say like the worst things that happens to me regularly in conversation is I'll be like talking to somebody about their finances and I'll be like, well, what do you want?
• 5:49
  Speaker 1: What are we working toward?
• 5:50
  Speaker 1: And they'll be like just whatever's best for the money, and I'm like there's really not a what do you mean, what's best for the money?
• 6:00
  Speaker 1: They'll be like, well, what are you gonna cook?
• 6:02
  Speaker 1: Well, whatever's best for my stove and my kitchen knives.
• 6:05
  Speaker 1: And you're like I'm what, where are you gonna go?
• 6:06
  Speaker 1: Well, whatever's best for my car, you're like what that doesn't even make any sort of sense.
• 6:10
  Speaker 1: But when it comes to money, that's a game that we've really really played.
• 6:15
  Speaker 1: And so here's what I encourage you to start to do.
• 6:20
  Speaker 1: And the thing about desires is they don't live in your mind, they live in your heart, in your gut, like you have to tune into yourself to really start to find desires.
• 6:30
  Speaker 1: And I will share with you that this can be difficult to do because, like just in our culture and society, like desires are kind of like a thing that I don't know.
• 6:42
  Speaker 1: We poo poo a little bit, like they're kind of inconvenient or sometimes they're even shamed.
• 6:49
  Speaker 1: Sometimes we even shame our desires.
• 6:51
  Speaker 1: There's a lot of shame around financial desires, around sexual desires, sometimes even around day to day.
• 6:58
  Speaker 1: People are so used to going and going and going and sometimes even putting themselves last or literally not paying any sort of attention to their desires, that we get disconnected from our ability to even know what they are.
• 7:11
  Speaker 1: That's really common.
• 7:13
  Speaker 1: That's where you're starting.
• 7:14
  Speaker 1: I'm going to give you some ideas around just tuning in with yourself and connecting to yourself so that way you can start to put your desires together, because when you have a clear desire, then your mind will stop spinning, your mind can get its work done.
• 7:32
  Speaker 1: The masculine and feminine and I'm talking not about men and women, I'm talking about your own internal masculine energy, which is like your action, taking energy, your mental energy, and your feminine energy, which is your emotional energy, your feeling energy.
• 7:46
  Speaker 1: When these things are working together like a team, you have a really good internal marriage and that is really critical for life building.
• 7:58
  Speaker 1: One of the things that you can do is bring your attention into your body.
• 8:06
  Speaker 1: If you're new to this, if you're super brand new, you can just bring your attention, like right now, if you're sitting, if you're in a seat, bring your attention to your butt and feel your butt against the seat, feel your feet against the floor, feel your clothes against your skin.
• 8:23
  Speaker 1: This is something to practice a couple of times a day, especially if you're really new to this.
• 8:28
  Speaker 1: If this is something that you've never even thought about like, oh, dropping into my body, being in my body, why would anybody suggest such a weird thing to me?
• 8:38
  Speaker 1: What that does is it helps us to bring that mental awareness, that faculty, into the body, into the emotional state.
• 8:47
  Speaker 1: It helps to bridge the gap between the masculine and feminine.
• 8:49
  Speaker 1: This is where it starts.
• 8:51
  Speaker 1: You can ask yourself a few times a day.
• 8:54
  Speaker 1: You can put your hand over your heart if you're feeling it and just say well, what do I desire in this moment?
• 9:00
  Speaker 1: What do I desire in this moment?
• 9:02
  Speaker 1: I will share with you.
• 9:04
  Speaker 1: I find, from talking to people and just from knowing myself pretty well, that desires run in a few, like there are, want level desires, like I want a taco from the taco truck.
• 9:15
  Speaker 1: That's not the burning desire that Napoleon Hill talks about in thinking grow rich.
• 9:23
  Speaker 1: That's just like a surface level desire which is valid.
• 9:26
  Speaker 1: I also want to give some credit to those small desires, because those small desires, when we're there, that becomes the impulse, that becomes the inspired action, when we're really connected to ourselves, to our intuition that's the place where people talk about taking inspired action.
• 9:48
  Speaker 1: It's those little desires, those little impulses.
• 9:51
  Speaker 1: That's going to be like a surface level desire.
• 9:55
  Speaker 1: Then we have slightly deeper desires, bigger desires, things like oh, I really want my house to look and feel like this, I really want my business to look and feel like this, and then we have like the more deep, burning desires like that match up in a way against our purpose, right?
• 10:18
  Speaker 1: So like one of my big desires is like I'm writing this book, I desire to put it out to the world, like I desire to give it.
• 10:24
  Speaker 1: Like it's so, like my purpose and my desire are there playing together.
• 10:30
  Speaker 1: Where it's like this is just like my weird little gift that I give to the world.
• 10:34
  Speaker 1: You know talking to people about the energetics and mindset and practical management of their money, right.
• 10:40
  Speaker 1: So like there's this, it's both.
• 10:42
  Speaker 1: It's like my purpose and my desire.
• 10:46
  Speaker 1: They like melt, they match up together.
• 10:50
  Speaker 1: And when I have really clickier desires about you know what offers I want to run and how I want to sell them and what you know like.
• 10:58
  Speaker 1: Then I can use my mind to go fill in the details and make the more detailed you know structure of A to B, and then that impulse comes in and I can take those intuitive hits to create.
• 11:14
  Speaker 1: And this is the place where things start to get really easy.
• 11:18
  Speaker 1: And one of the things that I noticed working with clients is a lot of times there's a lot of burnout, there's a lot of overthinking, overacting, over efforting, hustling, and it all kind of grinds up when there's no truth of desire, because you don't give your mind a way to win, you don't give your mind a way to satisfy you, and masculine goals are generally like pretty pass, failed, or like black or white.
• 11:46
  Speaker 1: So the same conversation I was having with a client, she told me how she set a goal for herself to run the New York marathon and she did it.
• 11:55
  Speaker 1: And her goal is to do it in less than four hours.
• 11:57
  Speaker 1: And she did it in four hours and like 17 minutes and when she was done she felt like a failure.
• 12:05
  Speaker 1: This woman trained for months, you know, transformed her whole body, signed up for that.
• 12:10
  Speaker 1: That race got there, ran for four hours and 17 minutes straight and then she felt like a failure because she didn't pass that very masculine goal.
• 12:22
  Speaker 1: So I will share this with you too.
• 12:24
  Speaker 1: So, like the idea of goals, when we talk about smart goals whether they smart, measurable, actionable, time constrained, right, like those goals that we hear about in school that's a very, very masculine way to set a goal, which is like there's nothing good or bad or right or wrong or like inherently better or worse about that kind of goal setting.
• 12:48
  Speaker 1: But when I do my goals, I'm working with my clients.
• 12:50
  Speaker 1: I like be do have goals because they're balanced.
• 12:54
  Speaker 1: So let's say, I want to have, you know, 18 clients and my limitless wealth mastermind.
• 13:01
  Speaker 1: Well, what do I need to do to do that?
• 13:04
  Speaker 1: But also, who do I need to be?
• 13:06
  Speaker 1: Who do I need to be while I'm doing what I'm doing, right, like, and a lot of times we forget about the being piece, we forget about that emotional and like just who am I being?
• 13:18
  Speaker 1: Who am I being while I'm doing this work?
• 13:20
  Speaker 1: And then that's where stuff goes awry.
• 13:24
  Speaker 1: So like, look, I'll share some of these things.
• 13:26
  Speaker 1: So I have my notes.
• 13:27
  Speaker 1: Yesterday we did a, I did a class on this, so it was like all right.
• 13:30
  Speaker 1: So I'm going to give you a different goal, but one of my goals is to have a New York Times bestselling book, right, this is one of my goals.
• 13:36
  Speaker 1: Now, this is a massive goal, especially for where I am in my business.
• 13:40
  Speaker 1: My audience size, my publisher, you know, told me, you know, probably it's like a little unrealistic, the same thing.
• 13:47
  Speaker 1: I've been interviewing publicists.
• 13:49
  Speaker 1: They're all kind of like, girl, you just okay, like and it's, and that's okay with me, right, I'm a little unattached, but that's, that's a thing that I want because that matches my purpose, right?
• 14:00
  Speaker 1: So my purpose is to get this workout to as many people as possible.
• 14:04
  Speaker 1: My desire is to be seen and known for this, you know, and all of what comes with that.
• 14:11
  Speaker 1: So when I was thinking about what do I need to be and do on my B list, you know I have, like, I need to become the identity of the bestselling author and that's a little bit different than just having a bestselling book.
• 14:23
  Speaker 1: It's being, it's the essence of being.
• 14:26
  Speaker 1: You know, I need to be proud of my book, I need to be excited to share, I need to be eager to get it, you know, into the hands of as many people as possible.
• 14:36
  Speaker 1: For me, that means being brave to show up.
• 14:38
  Speaker 1: You know, I'll tell you that sometimes the level of attention I get online is uncomfortable for me.
• 14:43
  Speaker 1: It's something I work myself into, it's something that, like, sometimes I'm deep breathing in the bathroom before I do things Right.
• 14:50
  Speaker 1: So I have to be brave.
• 14:54
  Speaker 1: And what was funny is I put willing to be seen.
• 14:56
  Speaker 1: And then I had to cross that out and I was like comfortable and wanting to be seen, like deserving to be seen, like showing up fully, and that's that's a little bit higher level than just willing to be seen.
• 15:09
  Speaker 1: These are things I need to be, you know, and then I need to be doing, willing to do what it takes, and I need to be all in right, and those are things that are a state of being Right.
• 15:20
  Speaker 1: And so when I think about what do I need to do?
• 15:22
  Speaker 1: The more masculine side of this goal I'm going to do a publicity tour.
• 15:25
  Speaker 1: I'm going to.
• 15:26
  Speaker 1: Well, I, you know, I'm going to hire the publicist, I'm going to pay the publicist, I'm going to do the networking, I'm going to ask for the help.
• 15:33
  Speaker 1: I'm going to, you know, get on a hundred or more podcasts, look at TV appearances, things like that and so look at.
• 15:40
  Speaker 1: But here's where I wanted to share this a little bit more nuanced thing is that if I'm just taking the action, but I'm taking the action without pride in my book and without eagerness to serve and without comfort and desire in being seen and without being all in, I can take those actions.
• 15:58
  Speaker 1: I can spend a ton of money on the public city and, you know, in whatever else, and not get the result that I'm looking for because I'm I'm taking the actions kind of half-heartedly Right and and I've certainly done this in the past, you know, and I've certainly seen clients do it and I've.
• 16:15
  Speaker 1: You know it's a, it's a thing that's that's easy to happen if we're only looking at the masculine side of goals.
• 16:22
  Speaker 1: So my suggestion to you is to to practice knowing where those desires are, practiced, bringing your attention into your body, so you can get those little intuitive hits, you can take those inspired actions and so that way you leave a little bit more room for magic in your life.
• 16:40
  Speaker 1: Like smart goals, well.
• 16:42
  Speaker 1: Well, I'm sure they're effective, right?
• 16:44
  Speaker 1: People been writing about them for a long time.
• 16:46
  Speaker 1: They'd leave very little room for magic.
• 16:48
  Speaker 1: There's a lot of effort, there's a lot of forcing, and that's.
• 16:51
  Speaker 1: That's fine, if, if that's kind of the lifestyle that you want.
• 16:53
  Speaker 1: But I like a little bit of magic.
• 16:55
  Speaker 1: I like when life does some of the work for me.
• 16:58
  Speaker 1: I like letting things be easy.
• 17:00
  Speaker 1: You know, I I like being delighted and surprised by life sometimes, and so I like to leave a little room for magic.
• 17:08
  Speaker 1: And the thing is is, look at, let's just say, I write this book and I'm being who I want to be and I'm taking the actions that are required and I don't become a New York Times bestseller.
• 17:19
  Speaker 1: I don't become the books.
• 17:20
  Speaker 1: You know the books are a success, but you know I don't hit that mark.
• 17:25
  Speaker 1: I fail on the masculine side of the goal, right, well, if I'm being who I wanted to be while I'm doing it, it just takes some of that edge off of that.
• 17:34
  Speaker 1: You know, it leaves a little bit of room for grace.
• 17:37
  Speaker 1: It leaves a little bit of room will.
• 17:38
  Speaker 1: Well, I did do this and this and this and this and this, and I did take these actions and I got close.
• 17:43
  Speaker 1: All right, so I could keep trying, right, like you have to.
• 17:46
  Speaker 1: You know, I could keep trying, I could keep doing it, I could keep being eager, I could keep being willing to serve.
• 17:53
  Speaker 1: But that's really on that identity level, right, and so it's not as harsh as a past fail, because those past fail goals, especially in business, sometimes I find that really big disappointments or really big discouragements are disorienting.
• 18:10
  Speaker 1: Sometimes they throw me for a little bit of a loop.
• 18:15
  Speaker 1: I lose a little bit of direction for a minute, and so if I could be being the person that I want to be while taking the action that I want to be taking and working toward this having goal.
• 18:24
  Speaker 1: You know, time is a little bit off the table, right, unless there's like an actual time deadline, right, like nobody says you have to be a New York Times bestseller the first week your book comes out, you don't, you can be.
• 18:36
  Speaker 1: You know you could sell the, I think, the 12,000 copies required a year later.
• 18:40
  Speaker 1: It doesn't, I don't think it matters, although being a New York Times bestseller it's not just sales, there's a little bit more to it, anyways.
• 18:47
  Speaker 1: So I digress about this, but it's.
• 18:50
  Speaker 1: I like those be do have goals, because it just balances the masculine, feminine, it starts to cultivate more of that internal marriage, and we have to look at ourselves and see the places where either our masculine doesn't trust our feminine, or our feminine doesn't trust our masculine.
• 19:05
  Speaker 1: You know, a lot of us got taught to basically abandon ourselves when we're in our feelings.
• 19:11
  Speaker 1: We were taught that our feelings aren't okay, that they're shameful or they're wrong and that, like, not only are they not valid to have, but you should snap out of it.
• 19:20
  Speaker 1: And when we learn that and our masculine, our masculine presence doesn't even stay with us in our own body when we're in our feelings, it can be really scary to be inside of ourselves.
• 19:33
  Speaker 1: You know, and that's the thing that happens and that's where we move more and more into the mind space and less and less into the body that, the more that we're imbalanced toward our mental faculties, that's more where the efforting and the trying and the burnout and the hustle and I don't know if, like you know, when I'm talking about your mind spinning, I'm talking about, like when you can't sleep at night because your mind won't shut the actual F up right, like I'm talking about that, that ongoing taxing, like I'm making a nonverbal of just my hands, like making that want, want, want, want, sound, but these are the things that happen when we're imbalanced.
• 20:14
  Speaker 1: So, anyways, I just wanted to come on and talk to you guys about that today.
• 20:17
  Speaker 1: So that way, as you think about what you want your money to be doing for you and the kind of life that you wanna be having, and how to use this tool to help you create like an existence that feels good for you mentally and in your body, to your masculine and your feminine, that we include the body, that we include our desire, that we include our intuition in our plans.
• 20:41
  Speaker 1: And you know, if you're into like a little manifest thing, you know you leave a little room for magic, you leave a little room for the universe to surprise and delight you Like make, you make the game with life, not just like the control of yourself to get an exact thing.
• 20:58
  Speaker 1: It's like you get to play with this if you want to.
• 21:00
  Speaker 1: It gets to be easy if you let it right.
• 21:02
  Speaker 1: But we can't let it be easy if we're fully in the mind not taking the, you know like it just doesn't have the same results.
• 21:12
  Speaker 1: And so I hope this was helpful for you today.
• 21:15
  Speaker 1: I hope this gave you a new little perspective on the ways that you set your goals, you know, and just how you address building the life that you wanna build.
• 21:26
  Speaker 1: So I love you.
• 21:27
  Speaker 1: I appreciate you.
• 21:28
  Speaker 1: Thank you for hanging out with me today.
• 21:29
  Speaker 1: Please feel free to share this episode on the socials or with a friend, or get a billboard with my name on it and my podcast link.
• 21:40
  Speaker 1: Whatever you want.
• 21:40
  Speaker 1: All right, I love you.
• 21:42
  Speaker 1: Bye, it was my pleasure and joy to talk with you today.
• 21:49
  Speaker 1: Thank you for listening.
• 21:50
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• 21:57
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• 22:02
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• 22:02
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• 22:07
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• 22:13
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• 22:18
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• 22:27
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• 22:36
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• 22:46
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