Latest / Drawn of History / Kevin Gates _ This Past Weekend w_ Theo Von _593(M4A_128K)
Transcript
- 0:00Speaker 1: We're getting into the final shows for the Return of
- 0:03Speaker 1: the Rat Tour. Gosh, this rat is almost fully returned.
- 0:08Speaker 1: July 9th will be in Philadelphia, Rochester, New York on
- 0:13Speaker 1: July 10th. Then we're in Detroit after that. Moving on,
- 0:17Speaker 1: we're in Los Angeles, Anaheim at the Honda Center and Oceanside, California.
- 0:24Speaker 1: You can get all your tickets at theovon.com slash T-O-U-R
- 0:30Speaker 1: And just thank you so much for your support. Today's
- 0:33Speaker 1: guest is a musician out of Baton Rouge, Louisiana. Baby,
- 0:37Speaker 1: out the boot. He crosses many genres like rap, R
- 0:41Speaker 1: & B, soul. He does it all. This dog, he
- 0:44Speaker 1: a 101. He a 101. He's got a new album
- 0:49Speaker 1: on the way, Luca Brasi 4. And he's heading out
- 0:53Speaker 1: on a huge tour this October. I'm grateful to sit down.
- 0:58Speaker 1: with my Louisiana amigo, Mr. Kevin Gates. It has tough, man.
- 1:22Speaker 2: Yeah, I got this from... I collect these kind of hits.
- 1:26Speaker 2: I bought two of them this time because... I put
- 1:30Speaker 2: dents in them. Really? Every time I travel.
- 1:33Speaker 1: What, just traveling and setting it somewhere?
- 1:35Speaker 2: Yeah, and they get smushed every time. Yeah.
- 1:38Speaker 1: Yeah, a hat is kind of hard to take care of.
- 1:39Speaker 1: That's the only thing I don't love about a hat. Like,
- 1:41Speaker 1: if I'm on a plane, I'll put it, and then
- 1:43Speaker 1: I'll take a nap. It'll fall off the seat or something.
- 1:45Speaker 2: Every time.
- 1:46Speaker 1: Yeah, you look sharp, man.
- 1:47Speaker 2: Thank you.
- 1:49Speaker 1: Recently, I started feeling in my own life, man, I
- 1:51Speaker 1: wish that I dressed up a little bit more. I
- 1:55Speaker 1: just wish that.
- 1:56Speaker 2: It's like how you do anything is how you do everything.
- 1:59Speaker 2: So I'm like, I prepare for something great to happen.
- 2:04Speaker 2: Every time I leave the house, I prepare for something
- 2:06Speaker 2: great to happen. Like even when I go to the gym,
- 2:09Speaker 2: I prepare for something great to happen.
- 2:11Speaker 1: Yeah, that's an energy. I think I just started thinking that. Like, yeah,
- 2:15Speaker 1: I want to just, because then I want to be
- 2:17Speaker 1: excited about how I even look, you know? Like I never.
- 2:21Speaker 2: I mean, I only got. Well, I got multiple suits,
- 2:26Speaker 2: but I only got like four colors that I wear.
- 2:29Speaker 2: I got a gray suit. I got like three or
- 2:32Speaker 2: four of them. I got like three or four black suits.
- 2:35Speaker 2: I got like three or four navy suits. And I
- 2:38Speaker 2: got like three or four, they like different shades. So
- 2:41Speaker 2: I say like a tan and a darker tan.
- 2:45Speaker 1: You like them?
- 2:46Speaker 2: Yeah, I just love suits. I love them. They look fly.
- 2:50Speaker 1: You've always been pretty stylish, actually. I remember you and
- 2:52Speaker 1: I went to a Super Bowl together. I don't know
- 2:54Speaker 1: if you remember it or not.
- 2:55Speaker 2: Yeah, that was when I had the turtleneck on with
- 2:56Speaker 2: the slacks.
- 2:57Speaker 1: Yeah, that's when I realized I was like, oh, Kevin's
- 2:59Speaker 1: doing something different. Because you hear rumors about Kevin. You
- 3:02Speaker 1: hear people like, Kevin, you know, Kevin out there.
- 3:05Speaker 2: I'm like Bigfoot.
- 3:05Speaker 1: Yeah, he's staring at the moon. Kevin out there, he,
- 3:08Speaker 1: you know, he hiding in the tree branches and stuff.
- 3:11Speaker 1: You hear a lot of rumors like that.
- 3:12Speaker 2: Trying to shoot my bow and arrow.
- 3:14Speaker 1: Yeah, he's out there babysitting bats or something.
- 3:17Speaker 2: Oh, excuse me. Shout out to Mike at... At Cabela's.
- 3:21Speaker 1: He's your guy?
- 3:22Speaker 2: Yeah, he's the one who dialed my bow and arrow
- 3:25Speaker 2: in for me. Like dialed it in, like set the
- 3:28Speaker 2: sights on it for me.
- 3:29Speaker 1: I haven't used one. But yeah, you hear everything about that.
- 3:32Speaker 1: Kevin Gates, he's out there. He breastfeeding pelicans and stuff
- 3:34Speaker 1: like that. You hear a lot of the mystery, right?
- 3:37Speaker 1: The lore. And I love the lore because it makes
- 3:40Speaker 1: things really, it's like advertising without you really doing anything
- 3:45Speaker 1: in a way, except being yourself. But I remember we
- 3:48Speaker 1: were on like a limo bus. They were taking us
- 3:50Speaker 1: to the Super Bowl. Everybody's on their phones or something
- 3:52Speaker 1: like that. Kevin just sitting there. Look, you look like
- 3:56Speaker 1: the happiest guy in the thing.
- 3:58Speaker 2: It's this thing I do called breath work. And I
- 4:03Speaker 2: think I said it one time in another interview, but
- 4:06Speaker 2: like I'm super into like Navy SEALs and shit. I
- 4:09Speaker 2: like watch. Don't, don't. Don't think I'm weird, but I am. Oh, yeah.
- 4:15Speaker 2: I just sit there and watch like videos or like
- 4:18Speaker 2: the training that they do. And I watch people take
- 4:20Speaker 2: the Navy SEAL test and fail and then try to
- 4:22Speaker 2: come back and do it. And I just watch that shit.
- 4:25Speaker 2: And I'll be watching like David Goggins and shit like that.
- 4:29Speaker 2: And it's like, you know, the first thing they teach
- 4:31Speaker 2: them how to do is breathe. So that's why I
- 4:34Speaker 2: be doing the box breathing. And it really helped with anxiety.
- 4:38Speaker 1: Explain it to me.
- 4:40Speaker 2: You inhale for four seconds. It's like you pretend like
- 4:43Speaker 2: you're looking at a box. You inhale for four seconds.
- 4:47Speaker 2: You hold it. You exhale for four seconds. And then
- 4:50Speaker 2: you hold it, and it keeps you super calm.
- 4:54Speaker 1: And does it get a little scary at certain points
- 4:56Speaker 1: or hard to remember? I guess you just get used
- 4:58Speaker 1: to the pattern.
- 5:00Speaker 2: If you ever get off, you just reconnect to your breath.
- 5:03Speaker 2: Because you're going to talk, you're going to interrupt yourself,
- 5:05Speaker 2: but then you reconnect to your breath and it keeps
- 5:08Speaker 2: you calm, like no anxiety.
- 5:10Speaker 3: Yeah.
- 5:11Speaker 1: Oh, yeah. I get rattled pretty easy.
- 5:13Speaker 2: And I'm an overthinker, like especially if I'm about to
- 5:17Speaker 2: go somewhere. Like I put unrealistic expectations on myself about
- 5:23Speaker 2: the outcome. Yeah. And we say that we, and I
- 5:26Speaker 2: might say that I'm going in there with a positive attitude, but.
- 5:29Speaker 1: Oh, I want to know everything. I want to know
- 5:32Speaker 1: how it's going to go. I want to be able to, like,
- 5:34Speaker 1: make sure I'm okay no matter what's going on.
- 5:36Speaker 2: I knew this shit was going to be cool because
- 5:38Speaker 2: I was already around you at the Super Bowl. I
- 5:40Speaker 2: was like, man, that dude crazy.
- 5:43Speaker 1: Oh, I don't think anybody could out-crazy you at this point, Kevin.
- 5:46Speaker 2: You done lost.
- 5:47Speaker 1: You lost everybody, man. It's going to be a little.
- 5:53Speaker 2: Hot.
- 5:54Speaker 1: Do we have any ice? We don't have any.
- 5:55Speaker 2: I don't need no ice. I'm good. Okay.
- 5:58Speaker 1: I was kind of nervous to talk to you because
- 6:00Speaker 1: I've known of you. I'm from Louisiana, so I've known
- 6:02Speaker 1: about you. Louisiana, bro. Even growing up. I remember the
- 6:05Speaker 1: first time I ever heard about you, this girl I
- 6:07Speaker 1: was talking to from Bogalusa was like, have you heard
- 6:09Speaker 1: of Kevin Gates? And I thought it was a subdivision.
- 6:13Speaker 1: It is.
- 6:14Speaker 2: It is? Really? No.
- 6:16Speaker 1: Oh, damn.
- 6:17Speaker 2: I didn't know. It is now.
- 6:18Speaker 1: Kevin Gates. Damn. I said, I don't know. I don't know.
- 6:23Speaker 1: I got a friend that lives in Meadowbrook or whatever,
- 6:25Speaker 1: but I've never been over there. And she's like, no,
- 6:27Speaker 1: you have to hear some of what this guy's doing.
- 6:30Speaker 1: And it was intense. The first time I listened to
- 6:32Speaker 1: your music, it reminded me the first time I saw UFC.
- 6:35Speaker 1: I was like, some of this stuff is a little
- 6:38Speaker 1: too hard for me. Because your stuff is very... Not
- 6:42Speaker 1: all of it, but some of it's graphic. It is real.
- 6:46Speaker 1: It's really raw. That's my perception of it. But so
- 6:50Speaker 1: that's how I got introduced to you, obviously, was just
- 6:51Speaker 1: from being in Louisiana. Do you miss those days in
- 6:55Speaker 1: Louisiana coming up? What was that like for you just
- 6:56Speaker 1: kind of coming up when you look back on it now?
- 6:59Speaker 2: I'm grateful for Louisiana because it made me everything that
- 7:02Speaker 2: I am right now. And the things that we cherish,
- 7:07Speaker 2: other people don't really cherish when you go other places.
- 7:10Speaker 2: And then with us having that Southern House Patel, they're like, yes, sir, no, sir.
- 7:14Speaker 2: Don't call me that. You make me feel old when
- 7:16Speaker 2: you go other places. But we used to catch whoopings
- 7:19Speaker 2: for not saying yes, sir, no, sir, yes, ma'am, no, ma'am. Yeah.
- 7:23Speaker 2: You know, I'd have been beat with extension cords and
- 7:26Speaker 2: whatever they could find.
- 7:27Speaker 1: Yeah. Oh, yeah.
- 7:28Speaker 2: Go get a branch out of the tree.
- 7:30Speaker 1: Go get something. Oh, dude, my mother would beat me
- 7:32Speaker 1: with my younger siblings. I'm like, God damn, both of
- 7:36Speaker 1: us getting it.
- 7:36Speaker 2: Grabbing by the ankle.
- 7:37Speaker 1: Yeah, like, damn, why? What was some of like, did
- 7:42Speaker 1: you ever, did you get to work with other artists?
- 7:44Speaker 1: I know people ask you that kind of stuff all
- 7:45Speaker 1: the time, but growing up, like when I was coming up,
- 7:47Speaker 1: they had like Mr. P, Master P, Mystical.
- 7:52Speaker 2: Me and Master P did a song together. And I
- 7:55Speaker 2: done done, I done worked with Wayne. We talking about
- 7:58Speaker 2: only Louisiana?
- 7:59Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm just talking about kind of that time in
- 8:01Speaker 1: the 90s.
- 8:01Speaker 2: I done worked with Lil Wayne. I done worked with
- 8:04Speaker 2: Master P. If you want to go currently, I done
- 8:08Speaker 2: worked with Fredo Bang, NBA Youngboy, Tick.
- 8:12Speaker 1: Oh, yeah, I heard that song you got with Youngboy.
- 8:14Speaker 1: I just heard it the other day.
- 8:16Speaker 2: I don't know who you say I am.
- 8:19Speaker 1: Yeah.
- 8:21Speaker 2: Yeah.
- 8:22Speaker 1: Yeah, they had, I'm trying to think, oh, Partners in Crime,
- 8:24Speaker 1: remember them?
- 8:25Speaker 2: Yeah.
- 8:25Speaker 1: It's that new Mr. Mina with that Papa Kago. Dude,
- 8:28Speaker 1: they had Partners in Crime, UNLV. Oh, was that UNLV?
- 8:31Speaker 1: Pump the, pump the party. UNLV. They had, I'm trying
- 8:35Speaker 1: to think of who else we love. Oh, Mystical was
- 8:37Speaker 1: the best. Mystical was great, bro.
- 8:38Speaker 2: I like that. Bitch, I want that boot camp flick. Danger! Yeah,
- 8:42Speaker 2: I like that. They keep bumping me again.
- 8:44Speaker 1: He kind of had his own thing, and he had
- 8:45Speaker 1: those horns in it.
- 8:46Speaker 2: Yeah, if we going that way, I like Fiend, Mr. Magic.
- 8:49Speaker 2: I liked everything that was coming out. You got to
- 8:53Speaker 2: say Soul to Slim. Oh, yeah. You got to say
- 8:57Speaker 2: Soldier Sliver.
- 8:58Speaker 1: Somebody didn't put me onto a lot of Soldier Sliver.
- 9:00Speaker 2: You got to say Stone and Lick. You got to
- 9:02Speaker 2: say the D-Boys. You got to say all of them.
- 9:05Speaker 1: I think some of that I didn't get put on then. Yeah.
- 9:07Speaker 1: But I loved it. That was a special time, I
- 9:10Speaker 1: felt like, in Louisiana because there were so many eyes
- 9:13Speaker 1: were focused on it. They had just so much sound
- 9:15Speaker 1: coming out of there.
- 9:16Speaker 2: Still do. Yeah. Like the sound different. Oh, yeah.
- 9:21Speaker 1: Well, things have changed so much, but at that time
- 9:23Speaker 1: I just felt like I don't know. There was something
- 9:26Speaker 1: really spectacular about it at that time.
- 9:28Speaker 2: We still got our own signature song. Louisiana, like, that's
- 9:32Speaker 2: where the flavor at. Oh, yeah. You get a container
- 9:36Speaker 2: of juice, and you sit it on the table. The
- 9:38Speaker 2: flavor falls to the bottom. You have to shake it
- 9:41Speaker 2: up for the flavor to go to the top.
- 9:42Speaker 1: Yeah.
- 9:43Speaker 2: The flavor always stay on the bottom. Yeah. The bottom
- 9:47Speaker 2: of the map. That's it.
- 9:48Speaker 1: The bottom of the map, man. The bottom of the boot. Yeah, dude,
- 9:52Speaker 1: I loved that time. That was a special time growing up, man.
- 9:55Speaker 1: What was the styles that y'all had? and our tan
- 9:57Speaker 1: art because in covington we had like jabot jeans polo
- 10:01Speaker 1: with the big horse remember people wear that sometimes he'll.
- 10:04Speaker 4: Figure polo crazy i want polo yeah i can see
- 10:06Speaker 4: that i want polo i can see that dead calves
- 10:09Speaker 4: collars jabot jabot's um I did Air Force Ones, but
- 10:14Speaker 4: my thing was the Adidas Stan Smiths.
- 10:16Speaker 2: Oh, yeah. I did the Adidas Stan Smiths.
- 10:19Speaker 1: I almost wore those today.
- 10:20Speaker 2: All day, I dream about stacks. Yeah.
- 10:24Speaker 1: Dude, that was a great time, bro. I mean, all
- 10:26Speaker 1: times are great, but that was a special time. It's
- 10:28Speaker 1: just something you and I, we both have a little
- 10:30Speaker 1: bit of similarity of that.
- 10:31Speaker 2: Yeah, I was born in 86, so.
- 10:33Speaker 1: Yeah, you're younger than me. Did you ever get to
- 10:36Speaker 1: see Mystical around the way or no?
- 10:37Speaker 2: Uh-uh. I seen him a few times when he was
- 10:39Speaker 2: out of prison, but I haven't seen him since then.
- 10:42Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, I'm trying to think. I remember we'd go
- 10:45Speaker 1: to the rec center over at Baton Rouge.
- 10:47Speaker 2: By LSU? Yep.
- 10:48Speaker 1: And Master P and his, they would be in there
- 10:51Speaker 1: playing ball with, like, Silk. I don't know if C-Murder
- 10:55Speaker 1: might have been in and out of there, but they
- 10:56Speaker 1: definitely had Silk was in there.
- 10:58Speaker 2: Silk stay out here, though.
- 10:59Speaker 1: Does he? Yeah.
- 11:00Speaker 2: I be seeing him at 24 Outfitters.
- 11:03Speaker 1: Let's go.
- 11:04Speaker 2: Every now and then when I used to go there.
- 11:06Speaker 1: Yeah.
- 11:07Speaker 2: Just see him in there hooping, still hooping. Yeah.
- 11:10Speaker 1: That was a special time, though, man. That was a big, like,
- 11:12Speaker 1: explosion for, I felt like, for Louisiana rap. When you
- 11:17Speaker 1: think of, like, I know there was a lot of
- 11:19Speaker 1: hustling and stuff when you grew up. What was it like, like,
- 11:22Speaker 1: the hustle? Like, when people say I had to hustle
- 11:24Speaker 1: a lot when I was young, like, what does that
- 11:26Speaker 1: mean exactly?
- 11:28Speaker 2: Hustle? Yeah.
- 11:29Speaker 1: I know what it means. Like, you have to grind.
- 11:31Speaker 1: You got to stay busy. You got to figure things out.
- 11:32Speaker 2: You got to be locked in and you got to
- 11:34Speaker 2: be focused. Whatever your hustle is, you got to give
- 11:36Speaker 2: it 110%. Because being from Louisiana ain't really nothing to
- 11:40Speaker 2: do but die or go to jail. Yeah. So whatever
- 11:43Speaker 2: it is that you focus on, you got to be
- 11:44Speaker 2: locked in. Like Juve and I say, we snatched all
- 11:48Speaker 2: the hoes and bows and retentives. We didn't give a fuck.
- 11:51Speaker 2: We balled for three minutes. I might have said it backwards.
- 11:58Speaker 1: We can edit it into the correct format. What was
- 12:02Speaker 1: some of your hustles as a youngster? What kind of
- 12:04Speaker 1: hustling did you have to do personally?
- 12:06Speaker 2: I started off washing cars.
- 12:08Speaker 1: Yeah. What, just like in the yard, you'd put up
- 12:10Speaker 1: a sign or you'd get like a?
- 12:11Speaker 2: Uh-uh. I started off working at, they got a car
- 12:15Speaker 2: wash on Corset. And that was my first job, washing cars.
- 12:20Speaker 1: Like they had an inside and outside?
- 12:22Speaker 2: Yeah, inside and outside. I started on a vacuum. Yeah.
- 12:26Speaker 2: And then I started being like, once it come through
- 12:28Speaker 2: the washer, you dry it off. And that's how I
- 12:31Speaker 2: learned how to get the fender wells and the door
- 12:34Speaker 2: jams last. Oh, yeah? Why? Because that's where all the
- 12:37Speaker 2: dirt is. So if you're drying the car, you got
- 12:40Speaker 2: to dry the body of the car first. Then you
- 12:42Speaker 2: go back and get the door jams and the fender
- 12:45Speaker 2: wells last. That's where all the dirt is.
- 12:47Speaker 1: Because otherwise you're going to get the rag dirty and
- 12:48Speaker 1: put it everywhere else.
- 12:49Speaker 2: You're going to put dirt on it. Yeah. Yeah. And
- 12:53Speaker 2: then even when you wipe the rims, you hold the
- 12:55Speaker 2: tile and wipe the rims. You spray the tile off,
- 13:00Speaker 2: but you hold the tile and wipe the rims on
- 13:01Speaker 2: the inside. Clean them real good. Yeah. And the best thing,
- 13:05Speaker 2: the clean windows, I mean, the white windows with his newspaper. Oh, yeah.
- 13:08Speaker 2: No streaks.
- 13:10Speaker 1: Yeah, why was that, I wonder?
- 13:11Speaker 2: I don't know. I know it don't leave no streaks,
- 13:13Speaker 2: make it look good.
- 13:14Speaker 1: Yeah, that was nice. Dude, yeah, when I was growing up,
- 13:17Speaker 1: washing your car was one of the best things you
- 13:19Speaker 1: could do.
- 13:20Speaker 2: Of course.
- 13:21Speaker 1: Because you leave there, that thing felt beautiful, boy.
- 13:24Speaker 2: That was your office.
- 13:26Speaker 1: Yeah.
- 13:28Speaker 2: That was your escape. Ain't nothing like a little late
- 13:31Speaker 2: night ride.
- 13:32Speaker 1: Yeah.
- 13:32Speaker 2: Waffle house. Yeah. Uh-huh.
- 13:35Speaker 1: Dude, I remember exactly if I lit a cigarette at
- 13:38Speaker 1: this one point right when I take off out of work,
- 13:41Speaker 1: it would get me all the way home. I'd pull
- 13:43Speaker 1: up right into the driveway when that cigarette was done.
- 13:46Speaker 1: It was like this perfect kind of seance that I
- 13:49Speaker 1: had in my life. I love that.
- 13:50Speaker 2: That was your first car?
- 13:52Speaker 1: My first car was an 84 Ford Escort. That bitch
- 13:55Speaker 1: was chill.
- 13:55Speaker 2: My first car was a Nissan Central. Yeah.
- 13:58Speaker 1: Really? What year was it?
- 13:59Speaker 2: I don't know. The old one. The old, old one.
- 14:03Speaker 2: Pull one up.
- 14:04Speaker 1: Just pull up a.
- 14:06Speaker 2: The tan one.
- 14:10Speaker 1: Pull up a 1990. Let's see what they got. Let's
- 14:12Speaker 1: see if we close on it.
- 14:15Speaker 2: Nah, I was a little newer than that.
- 14:17Speaker 1: Yeah, that's a little too old. Pull up a.
- 14:19Speaker 2: Pull up a 2001. That's it right there.
- 14:24Speaker 1: Oh, yeah, that bitch tasty, boy. God. And so your
- 14:30Speaker 1: first hustle was car washing. Did you get into stuff
- 14:32Speaker 1: in the streets? Did you get into stuff that was
- 14:33Speaker 1: kind of illegal type of stuff or no?
- 14:36Speaker 2: Yeah, a little bit. Yeah. Not nothing major, but a
- 14:38Speaker 2: little bit. I did a little something. Yeah.
- 14:41Speaker 1: Does it feel like if you grow up in certain
- 14:43Speaker 1: areas that you have to do that?
- 14:46Speaker 2: You're going to want to. They're the only people getting money. Right.
- 14:51Speaker 2: That's what a girl's like. Yeah. Oh, yeah.
- 14:55Speaker 1: The girl's like somebody got a little bit of cash.
- 14:57Speaker 2: Like, I remember telling Gilly and Willow, I was like, man,
- 15:01Speaker 2: when I was young, I remember all I wanted was
- 15:04Speaker 2: a car, some money, a girlfriend, and a gun.
- 15:08Speaker 1: Yeah.
- 15:08Speaker 2: Because that's all you see.
- 15:10Speaker 1: Oh, yeah.
- 15:11Speaker 2: Yeah, I got to pull out a bankroll. That was just,
- 15:14Speaker 2: you know.
- 15:15Speaker 1: Just to show it off.
- 15:16Speaker 2: Then they start calling it regs. Yeah. Yeah, regs. It
- 15:22Speaker 2: went from stags to regs.
- 15:25Speaker 1: Yeah, I think the name, do you think like, like
- 15:28Speaker 1: over the years you hear like things have changed, like
- 15:30Speaker 1: the hood, the block, the trenches, the mud, like there's
- 15:35Speaker 1: always kind of this evolution of the name, I feel like.
- 15:38Speaker 2: Man, we always, I call it the section.
- 15:41Speaker 1: Yeah.
- 15:41Speaker 2: They from the section. They from our section.
- 15:44Speaker 1: Yeah.
- 15:45Speaker 2: Are they from out the section? Yeah. Like if somebody,
- 15:49Speaker 2: if you from my section or you from my area
- 15:52Speaker 2: where I'm at, At the time, I'm like, oh, yeah,
- 15:54Speaker 2: he from my other section. Right. Or I'm going to
- 15:57Speaker 2: ask him, or I say, I'm just coming home from
- 15:59Speaker 2: jail and I see new faces. I'm like, who are they?
- 16:01Speaker 2: Are they from my other section? Yeah, that's such and
- 16:03Speaker 2: such people. That's such and such people. You know what
- 16:05Speaker 2: I'm saying? Yeah.
- 16:07Speaker 1: Do you feel like, do you have to live in fear?
- 16:09Speaker 1: Like in the section, do you feel like in a
- 16:11Speaker 1: black area, do you have to live in fear, did
- 16:13Speaker 1: it feel like?
- 16:14Speaker 2: No, because it's anything that you do every day is
- 16:18Speaker 2: going to feel regular to you. You know, anything that
- 16:22Speaker 2: is new to you, Say if it's new. If it's new,
- 16:25Speaker 2: you're going to be a little apprehensive. You know what
- 16:28Speaker 2: I'm saying? So you're going to have to sit back,
- 16:29Speaker 2: scope it out, and then you fall in. You're in
- 16:33Speaker 2: the mix now. But if you grew up in them
- 16:35Speaker 2: type of environments, it ain't going to feel like somewhere dangerous.
- 16:38Speaker 2: It's going to feel like home. Ah, yeah. So whatever,
- 16:41Speaker 2: go on. It just went on.
- 16:44Speaker 1: Right, you don't know any different.
- 16:44Speaker 2: But from the outside looking in, it's like, oh, God,
- 16:47Speaker 2: it's so horrible there. But when you in it, it's like,
- 16:51Speaker 2: man that's my people this is my auntie this is
- 16:53Speaker 2: my cousin.
- 16:54Speaker 1: This you know this is the culture yeah it's like
- 16:59Speaker 1: right a fist don't know it's in water really it's
- 17:00Speaker 1: family yeah do you think because you always hear over
- 17:04Speaker 1: the years you hear like we got to change these
- 17:06Speaker 1: areas right you hear like you have people we got
- 17:08Speaker 1: to make things safer we got to change these areas
- 17:12Speaker 1: um do you think that the people actually in those communities,
- 17:16Speaker 1: do you think they really want those communities to change
- 17:18Speaker 1: or that is?
- 17:19Speaker 2: If given the opportunity.
- 17:21Speaker 1: Does the question make any sense to you or no?
- 17:22Speaker 2: It make a lot. If given the opportunity, anybody would
- 17:26Speaker 2: do better. Right. People do. A man, yeah, this is
- 17:31Speaker 2: a wise quote. A man is what he know, not
- 17:34Speaker 2: what he's told. And I'll say it in like a vernacular.
- 17:38Speaker 2: A man is what he knows and not what he's told.
- 17:42Speaker 2: You are what you know, not what you're told. You
- 17:44Speaker 2: are what you do, not what you say you'll do.
- 17:47Speaker 2: So I could sit around and somebody could tell me, man,
- 17:49Speaker 2: you know what? You should change and you should do this.
- 17:52Speaker 2: And there's so many other opportunities. But if I've never
- 17:54Speaker 2: been exposed to these opportunities, all I know is what
- 17:57Speaker 2: I know. Right. And that's like, that's what recidivism, that's
- 18:01Speaker 2: people that repeat offenders, habitual offenders, because it's recidivism because
- 18:06Speaker 2: they don't know anything but what they know. And I
- 18:09Speaker 2: was like that. I was locked in, focused on one thing.
- 18:12Speaker 2: till I started experiencing other things. I broadened my horizon,
- 18:16Speaker 2: I opened my mind. Yeah.
- 18:18Speaker 1: Oh, I've watched a lot of interviews with you, man,
- 18:20Speaker 1: and a lot of it's been really fascinating, man. I
- 18:23Speaker 1: feel really thankful that you're here today to spend time.
- 18:25Speaker 2: I just took a.
- 18:27Speaker 1: What, an Ambien?
- 18:27Speaker 2: I just read about a... I just read about Laguna Beach, like...
- 18:34Speaker 2: This was in 2000 and... Maybe... 10 or 11, because
- 18:40Speaker 2: I read a lot of vampire novels and all of that.
- 18:43Speaker 1: Oh, damn, bro.
- 18:44Speaker 2: Yeah, I read a lot. I'm a record reader. So
- 18:49Speaker 2: this was way in 2000, maybe 10 or 11, that
- 18:51Speaker 2: I read a book. When I was reading the book,
- 18:53Speaker 2: they was talking about going to Laguna Beach. Last weekend,
- 18:57Speaker 2: I just took my son to Laguna Beach for his birthday.
- 18:59Speaker 2: So it was kind of like a bucket list. Not
- 19:03Speaker 2: a bucket list, but I was like, it'll be cool
- 19:05Speaker 2: to go there. Even like with Palm Springs, I read
- 19:08Speaker 2: about Palm Springs before, and I just passed through Palm Springs.
- 19:11Speaker 1: And they had vampires that were there?
- 19:12Speaker 2: And Rochelle Meade got this vampire academy, and one of
- 19:17Speaker 2: the schools that they went to was in Palm Springs. Damn, boy.
- 19:20Speaker 1: They some part of the older gay vampires probably over there.
- 19:23Speaker 2: I don't know, but it was so crazy that you
- 19:25Speaker 2: say that. It's because when you're given the opportunity to
- 19:29Speaker 2: do better, you will. Hmm. If you never given that opportunity,
- 19:33Speaker 2: you not gonna do better. We could say, yeah, you
- 19:35Speaker 2: just gotta overcome and stay focused and lock in. I
- 19:38Speaker 2: think me, what the beautiful thing about Kevin Gates is,
- 19:42Speaker 2: I have a very adventurous spirit and I'm going to
- 19:45Speaker 2: try something. Like, I love to try new things because
- 19:48Speaker 2: it's how you create new neuropaths. Like, even if you
- 19:53Speaker 2: did it and you didn't like it, you still had
- 19:55Speaker 2: the experience.
- 19:56Speaker 1: Yeah.
- 19:56Speaker 2: So you created, like, new neuropaths because if you do
- 19:58Speaker 2: the same thing every day, you become stagnant in the mind.
- 20:02Speaker 1: You just become a robot. You become a cul-de-sac to
- 20:05Speaker 1: your own cul-de-sac.
- 20:06Speaker 2: Yeah. You know? Like that's my biggest fear is being complacent.
- 20:10Speaker 2: I don't ever want to get stuck. So I did that.
- 20:13Speaker 2: I went to the beach and it was like, it
- 20:14Speaker 2: unlocked a few things for me. It was like, we
- 20:17Speaker 2: just took a road trip. It wasn't nothing but like
- 20:19Speaker 2: two hours.
- 20:20Speaker 1: But we did it.
- 20:21Speaker 2: We did it. Yeah.
- 20:22Speaker 1: We did something different.
- 20:23Speaker 2: We did something different. Yeah.
- 20:25Speaker 1: Cause I wonder sometimes like, cause you always like, you know,
- 20:27Speaker 1: like a lot of neighborhoods, especially if it's like impoverished neighborhoods,
- 20:31Speaker 1: you know, they say that type of thing.
- 20:32Speaker 2: Predominantly black.
- 20:33Speaker 1: And predominantly black neighborhoods. It's like, It's also those neighborhoods
- 20:37Speaker 1: that give a lot of the culture its flavor and
- 20:40Speaker 1: give it its story, right? Or some of its story, right?
- 20:44Speaker 1: People say, like, I came out of this. I came
- 20:46Speaker 1: through this, right? So sometimes I just wonder, like.
- 20:48Speaker 2: It's a blessing. It's the people that are blessed. I
- 20:53Speaker 2: say that because you're looking at people that grew up
- 20:57Speaker 2: in hardship and the roughest conditions ever. But we made
- 21:00Speaker 2: the best of what we had. And we didn't even
- 21:03Speaker 2: know we was poor until we saw rich people. Yeah.
- 21:06Speaker 2: It's like when you go to other countries, third world countries,
- 21:08Speaker 2: they don't even know they poor until they see people
- 21:10Speaker 2: with more than what they have. Like I was telling
- 21:13Speaker 2: somebody at one time, we just wanted a car. And
- 21:16Speaker 2: then once we saw the Bentley, we wanted the Bentley.
- 21:18Speaker 2: And then we wanted this and we wanted that because
- 21:20Speaker 2: we saw it. But to answer your question about the
- 21:23Speaker 2: people that come through that, I believe it's a rite
- 21:26Speaker 2: of passage. It's like the movie Leonidas. When the boy
- 21:34Speaker 2: went off into the wilderness and he came back a man, like,
- 21:39Speaker 2: we don't have no father figures or none of that
- 21:40Speaker 2: in the house. We come from mostly single mother. Your
- 21:44Speaker 2: mom had work. Your grandmother raised you. Things of that nature.
- 21:48Speaker 2: And we had to go out there and just find
- 21:50Speaker 2: our way. So it was like a rite of passage.
- 21:53Speaker 2: And the beautiful thing about me is I had beautiful
- 21:56Speaker 2: people in my life that kind of helped guide me
- 21:58Speaker 2: and lead me and steer me in the right direction. Yeah.
- 22:02Speaker 2: I made mistakes. I bumped my head. And I appreciate
- 22:05Speaker 2: every one of them because they made me this. But
- 22:08Speaker 2: to answer that question, I look at it more like
- 22:10Speaker 2: a rite of passage.
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- 25:02Speaker 2: But a lot of time when we be having like,
- 25:04Speaker 2: our body just really needs salt. Yeah. We be dehydrated.
- 25:09Speaker 1: You know, I notice that happens more often, I feel like.
- 25:11Speaker 1: And when I was a kid, you didn't hear anybody
- 25:12Speaker 1: talk about dehydration. And now I feel like people talk
- 25:14Speaker 1: about it every day.
- 25:15Speaker 2: Because we ate salt. We cooked with seasoning. Louisiana seasoning.
- 25:20Speaker 2: That's a good point.
- 25:21Speaker 1: People, yes.
- 25:22Speaker 2: You don't hear people down there talking about you dehydrated.
- 25:26Speaker 2: Eat a pickle. Fuck. Country boy can't survive.
- 25:29Speaker 1: Yeah, bro. That was it.
- 25:31Speaker 2: Country boy can't survive.
- 25:32Speaker 1: That's a good point. Everybody had gout, too. Everybody had
- 25:35Speaker 1: sugar pressure, gout. Salt, pressure, everything.
- 25:38Speaker 2: Country boy can't survive.
- 25:40Speaker 1: Everything. That was it. You were practicing Muslim?
- 25:45Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm a Muslim. Nice.
- 25:47Speaker 1: Nice to see you today.
- 25:49Speaker 2: Oh, like, you talking about what I got on?
- 25:51Speaker 1: No, I think you- Oh, no, this ain't got shit. No,
- 25:53Speaker 1: it doesn't look like that.
- 25:54Speaker 2: I'm not that kind of man.
- 25:55Speaker 1: No, I didn't know.
- 26:00Speaker 2: My bad. My bad. No, because I got the bow tie.
- 26:08Speaker 1: Oh, you thought that was part of.
- 26:12Speaker 2: The... I'm so not sorry. Please forgive me. Nuh-uh.
- 26:19Speaker 1: I didn't know what you mean because you thought it
- 26:20Speaker 1: because I thought the bow tie.
- 26:24Speaker 2: The irony. It's ironic that I got the bow tie on.
- 26:28Speaker 2: I'm not that kind, but I'm... Dave Chappelle said it.
- 26:34Speaker 2: I'm not good at it, but you know, I do
- 26:36Speaker 2: the best I can, you know?
- 26:39Speaker 1: No, I didn't know. I thought, no, I feel like, no. Yeah,
- 26:43Speaker 1: I didn't know what I thought. I just felt like, dang, Kevin. Yeah,
- 26:46Speaker 1: I thought you just seemed like a.
- 26:48Speaker 2: It's okay. Okay. It's okay.
- 26:52Speaker 1: Dang, that's hilarious.
- 26:52Speaker 2: It was just funny, because I had to... That's one
- 26:55Speaker 2: thing I, like... Like, I possess the ability to laugh
- 26:59Speaker 2: at myself, and once I developed the ability... to laugh
- 27:03Speaker 2: at myself, life became so much more easier.
- 27:06Speaker 1: Let's talk about that.
- 27:07Speaker 2: If I slip and fall, like, every time we step outside,
- 27:11Speaker 2: we're being judged. You know, if you went to school
- 27:15Speaker 2: and you had to, oh, God, I got to say it.
- 27:20Speaker 2: Not to get off subject. I used to hate free
- 27:22Speaker 2: dress day at school. Uniform saved my life. Really? Yeah.
- 27:27Speaker 1: Why, you couldn't handle it?
- 27:30Speaker 2: I ain't have no clothes. Oh, damn. Yeah.
- 27:34Speaker 1: You just wore the uniform again. They're like, Kevin.
- 27:36Speaker 2: Man, for a free dress day, I wore my mama.
- 27:38Speaker 2: I wore a pair of my mama jeans to middle
- 27:40Speaker 2: school in an old time of him figure shirt and
- 27:45Speaker 2: the same shoes I had been wearing to school the
- 27:47Speaker 2: whole time. Man, they teased me forever. Then, you know
- 27:50Speaker 2: how you got the faded part on the knees? Yeah.
- 27:52Speaker 2: It was like, why your knees white? Would you have
- 27:54Speaker 2: been on your knees? Nah, that's the style. Everybody got
- 27:57Speaker 2: distressed denim now. Yeah. So that was hard. That was
- 28:00Speaker 2: the worst. But I said that to say this. If
- 28:04Speaker 2: you possess the ability to laugh at yourself, you never
- 28:07Speaker 2: have to worry about being shamed of anything.
- 28:10Speaker 1: I've heard you talk about that before. In fact, man,
- 28:13Speaker 1: it's funny because one of the things.
- 28:15Speaker 2: That- It's okay to be human. You know what I'm saying?
- 28:17Speaker 1: Well, you know, most of my life, it was hard
- 28:19Speaker 1: for me to laugh at myself. A couple years ago,
- 28:21Speaker 1: it's so funny. A couple years ago, there was a
- 28:23Speaker 1: moment that happened. I don't remember what it was, but
- 28:27Speaker 1: I went. Theo, I just kind of laughed at myself
- 28:31Speaker 1: and said my name. My whole life, it had been
- 28:36Speaker 1: this internal thing that had been just judging me always.
- 28:40Speaker 1: And for the first time ever.
- 28:41Speaker 2: We are our worst critics.
- 28:43Speaker 1: But I just didn't realize how infected I'd been by
- 28:46Speaker 1: my own, by judgment of myself.
- 28:49Speaker 2: But we're taught that because when we come outside, we
- 28:52Speaker 2: judge by our peers. We judge by everything. If you
- 28:54Speaker 2: do this, if you do that. And then it's like,
- 28:56Speaker 2: you know what? I'm going to be the best human
- 28:59Speaker 2: I could be. Yeah. I don't care if I make mistakes.
- 29:03Speaker 2: I'm going to follow my heart. I don't care what
- 29:05Speaker 2: nobody think. I swear to God, I'm going to be
- 29:07Speaker 2: the best human I could be. And something else I
- 29:11Speaker 2: used to do, before I developed a greater sense of self-worth,
- 29:17Speaker 2: I would overcompensate. And that's still a form of seeking validation.
- 29:22Speaker 2: Like I would overextend and I would overextend myself as
- 29:28Speaker 2: far as just the person I am. Not to be liked.
- 29:31Speaker 2: I was doing this because this is what I really
- 29:34Speaker 2: wanted somebody to do for me. So I would overextend
- 29:38Speaker 2: and just overshare and overlove and over everything. I would
- 29:41Speaker 2: do it to the most. But this is the love
- 29:44Speaker 2: that I should have been giving myself.
- 29:46Speaker 1: Bro, there'll be times I'll text this over the past
- 29:50Speaker 1: few years. I noticed this happened for me. I'll text somebody. Hey, man,
- 29:53Speaker 1: just wanted to remind you, you're a great guy. And
- 29:56Speaker 1: I'm so proud of you.
- 29:57Speaker 2: I wish somebody would tell me that.
- 29:59Speaker 1: And as I'm typing it to them, tears will come
- 30:01Speaker 1: out of my face. And I didn't realize, and it's
- 30:04Speaker 1: a nice thing to say to them, and a lot
- 30:06Speaker 1: of times it's a person I'll have enough of a
- 30:07Speaker 1: connection with where, like, we share a lot of similar
- 30:10Speaker 1: experiences so we can, you know, we'll say that type
- 30:12Speaker 1: of thing to each other. But, man, sometimes as I'm
- 30:14Speaker 1: sending that, because really I just, like, that's what I
- 30:18Speaker 1: always needed, right?
- 30:19Speaker 2: The dude who did my guns on my hands, my
- 30:22Speaker 2: gun tattoos, his name, Trevon Spielman, but some people call
- 30:27Speaker 2: him Trevon or Trevon. I call him just T, my brother.
- 30:32Speaker 1: Where does he do it? He's out of Louisiana or where?
- 30:33Speaker 2: I'm about to tell you.
- 30:34Speaker 1: Okay, sorry.
- 30:35Speaker 2: He used to always make jokes. He used to always laugh.
- 30:38Speaker 2: He used to always check on everybody else. And he
- 30:43Speaker 2: sent me a text message. I got on the flight
- 30:46Speaker 2: and went to California. When my flight landed, the last
- 30:49Speaker 2: text message, he was like, I don't think I can
- 30:51Speaker 2: do this anymore. Then I found out he killed himself. Oh. So,
- 30:56Speaker 2: it's like oftentimes the people that's always helping everybody else, like,
- 31:02Speaker 2: it make you want to start checking on them. That's
- 31:04Speaker 2: why when I did it, and not to bring up
- 31:06Speaker 2: nothing with Drewski, but shout out to Drewski. I did
- 31:10Speaker 2: a little show where I was on there like a
- 31:11Speaker 2: blind date. And he was like, man, you too uptight.
- 31:15Speaker 2: And I'm like, I'm not. I just... Most of the time,
- 31:18Speaker 2: the people that make all the jokes, I check on
- 31:21Speaker 2: their well-being. Because that's how my brother was. He used
- 31:23Speaker 2: to always make jokes and make me laugh. And he'd
- 31:26Speaker 2: be doing my tattoos. And I'd be telling him about
- 31:28Speaker 2: everything I've been through. He was like my therapist. And
- 31:32Speaker 2: he even flew out to California one time just to
- 31:34Speaker 2: tattoo me. Stayed at my apartment and everything. And you
- 31:37Speaker 2: never know what people are going through internally. And that's
- 31:41Speaker 2: the reason I don't just... take people for granted, especially
- 31:46Speaker 2: people that's always making everybody else laugh.
- 31:48Speaker 1: So I'll laugh with you, but I'm also want to
- 31:50Speaker 1: be here with you to see what's going on.
- 31:51Speaker 2: Yeah, so I'm going to laugh with you, but when
- 31:55Speaker 2: we finish, I'm going to ask you, you sure everything okay?
- 31:59Speaker 2: Because if you need to talk, I'm here. And that's
- 32:02Speaker 2: just the type of person I am because he was
- 32:04Speaker 2: one of them people. He was super funny, everything. I
- 32:06Speaker 2: never would have thought he would have took his own life.
- 32:09Speaker 1: And that's what he just was dealing with too much pain?
- 32:13Speaker 2: Yeah, he was dealing with a lot. Yeah. He was
- 32:15Speaker 2: dealing with a lot. That's my brother. I love him.
- 32:18Speaker 1: Amen. Trevon?
- 32:19Speaker 2: His name is Trevon Spielman.
- 32:22Speaker 1: Trevon Spielman.
- 32:23Speaker 2: But some people call him Trevor. Yeah. And he's from Louisiana, too.
- 32:27Speaker 1: Trevon Spielman.
- 32:28Speaker 2: Well, good.
- 32:29Speaker 1: I'm glad we say his name today, man.
- 32:30Speaker 2: Yeah. It just made me think about that. The people
- 32:33Speaker 2: that give the most, we never ask them, do they
- 32:37Speaker 2: need anything? Yeah.
- 32:40Speaker 1: Yeah, man, a lot of my life, especially as an
- 32:43Speaker 1: adult in the past 10 years, eight years, really has
- 32:46Speaker 1: been having a journey with myself, right? I didn't even
- 32:51Speaker 1: know who I was. I don't even know if, honestly, bro,
- 32:53Speaker 1: I feel sometimes like I've only been alive for about
- 32:55Speaker 1: five or six years in some way. You too?
- 32:58Speaker 2: Yeah, you too.
- 33:00Speaker 1: Before that, I was alive, but I was just, and
- 33:03Speaker 1: I don't even know what was controlling me. I'm grateful
- 33:04Speaker 1: that God was giving me guidance.
- 33:06Speaker 2: You was alive, but you wasn't living. Man.
- 33:09Speaker 1: Well, I just didn't even know. The only way I
- 33:11Speaker 1: was experiencing the world was how you needed me to
- 33:14Speaker 1: experience it, you know, kind of type of thing. But
- 33:16Speaker 1: I wanted to say one more time just that, like, yeah,
- 33:19Speaker 1: there was a moment where I laughed at myself.
- 33:22Speaker 2: Oh, hey, I didn't mean to cut you off. Please
- 33:24Speaker 2: forgive me.
- 33:25Speaker 1: No, you didn't at all.
- 33:26Speaker 2: We just got lost.
- 33:27Speaker 1: No, it's important. This is good. You're totally forgiven. And, yeah,
- 33:31Speaker 1: I'm sorry for cutting you off, too. But, yeah, just
- 33:36Speaker 1: to be able to laugh at myself, bro. And then
- 33:39Speaker 1: part of me, I felt, man, my whole life, here
- 33:41Speaker 1: I am. And I won't even give my own self
- 33:45Speaker 1: a laugh. It's like, because not only am I talking,
- 33:48Speaker 1: but I'm listening to myself at the same time. And
- 33:51Speaker 1: I wouldn't even laugh. Every time I've just been like, man,
- 33:54Speaker 1: there's an old thing inside of me. You're not enough.
- 33:56Speaker 1: You've got to be perfect. Nobody's going to pay attention.
- 33:59Speaker 1: It's like just a constant system of judgment. And so, man,
- 34:03Speaker 1: to laugh at myself.
- 34:04Speaker 2: Is just crazy. My publicist. my publicist, her name Alvina.
- 34:09Speaker 2: She like, God give you what you need a lot
- 34:15Speaker 2: of times when you don't even know that you need it.
- 34:18Speaker 2: And me and her arguing, arguing, arguing, arguing. But she
- 34:21Speaker 2: always tell me like, you going to be great. That's
- 34:24Speaker 2: my life's mission, that you be great. So one of
- 34:28Speaker 2: the lessons, we have like a lesson every week. And
- 34:32Speaker 2: one of the lessons for one week, she was telling me,
- 34:34Speaker 2: give yourself grace. Because I'm super, I'm like you, I'm
- 34:37Speaker 2: super critical of myself. If I don't honor the commitments
- 34:41Speaker 2: I made to myself, I'm a bitch.
- 34:42Speaker 1: Yeah.
- 34:43Speaker 2: You know?
- 34:44Speaker 1: Yeah, definitely. And here's the crazy thing I would do, Kevin.
- 34:47Speaker 1: I would go for a run one day or do something,
- 34:50Speaker 1: and then I'd be like, we grinding every day. I'm
- 34:52Speaker 1: going to go run a million miles. Next week, I'm
- 34:55Speaker 1: running seven miles. And then the next day, I wouldn't
- 34:57Speaker 1: even go for a run, but I'd have built up
- 35:00Speaker 1: all of this steam in my head like I was
- 35:01Speaker 1: in the Olympics. And so then I'd let myself go.
- 35:04Speaker 1: my aspirations were so diabolical and ridiculous that, but when
- 35:11Speaker 1: I let myself down, I would let myself fall from
- 35:13Speaker 1: the heights of my aspirations, not even from, you just
- 35:16Speaker 1: took one run.
- 35:16Speaker 2: Not even from where you was at.
- 35:17Speaker 1: Yes, you just took one run and you just won
- 35:19Speaker 1: neighborhood over. And you got yourself at the Olympic trials
- 35:22Speaker 1: in Atlanta. But the shame I would feel would be
- 35:25Speaker 1: the fall from the Olympic trials and I only fucking went, damn,
- 35:29Speaker 1: probably 1,100 feet.
- 35:30Speaker 2: That's why everybody that tell me they want to get
- 35:33Speaker 2: into fitness, They'd be like, what you think I should
- 35:36Speaker 2: do first? I'd say baby steps. Baby steps. Take baby steps.
- 35:41Speaker 2: If you walk in the gym and walk out, you
- 35:43Speaker 2: still showed up. You did something that you wouldn't have
- 35:46Speaker 2: done yesterday. Maybe this time you might get on a
- 35:48Speaker 2: treadmill and walk for maybe two or three minutes. I
- 35:51Speaker 2: don't know. Who knows? Start drinking more water. Baby steps.
- 35:55Speaker 2: Like everything is baby steps. Yeah.
- 35:58Speaker 1: Yeah, I would never even give myself the grace of like,
- 36:00Speaker 1: let me have those babies, you know.
- 36:01Speaker 2: Then you know something else I used to do?
- 36:03Speaker 1: Hmm.
- 36:04Speaker 2: I used to compare myself to people that was taking
- 36:07Speaker 2: steroids and all of that. And I'm like, I want
- 36:09Speaker 2: my body to look like this. And I'm like, yeah.
- 36:13Speaker 2: And I used to watch them dudes say stuff like,
- 36:15Speaker 2: if you ain't got no six pack, you fat, homie.
- 36:18Speaker 2: And I was like, damn, I'm fat. So I had
- 36:22Speaker 2: unrealistic expectations. I'm just like you. And then I started
- 36:26Speaker 2: giving myself grace. And I'm like, yeah. I didn't even
- 36:29Speaker 2: come in it to look like that. I just wanted
- 36:31Speaker 2: my clothes to be able to fit good. I just
- 36:34Speaker 2: didn't want to be titty man anymore.
- 36:36Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah. He didn't want to have them nice titties
- 36:39Speaker 1: on him, boy.
- 36:39Speaker 2: Man, breast assist. I just didn't want to be titty
- 36:42Speaker 2: man anymore. And then you start comparing yourself to other
- 36:45Speaker 2: people and you lose. We lose ourselves in what we
- 36:49Speaker 2: really wanted. What was our goal? I just wanted a
- 36:51Speaker 2: bedroom body.
- 36:52Speaker 1: That's it. That's it.
- 36:54Speaker 2: That's all.
- 36:55Speaker 1: I don't want to look good in my pajamas.
- 36:57Speaker 2: Yeah, I just wanted a nice little bedroom, but now
- 37:00Speaker 2: all of a sudden I'm just like, man, I want
- 37:01Speaker 2: to be Hercules. I'm like, no.
- 37:03Speaker 1: Oh, yeah, I want to have muscles on the side
- 37:05Speaker 1: of my cock or whatever. You have them dudes, they
- 37:07Speaker 1: be flexing their cock. They got one dude, he can
- 37:09Speaker 1: flex his cock. I'm like, I don't got to see that.
- 37:12Speaker 2: You've been doing them dick lips, huh? Yeah, I've been
- 37:18Speaker 2: doing something, bro. Get that fishing string and put it
- 37:21Speaker 2: at the end of it with the little weight, the sinker.
- 37:24Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- 37:25Speaker 2: And make it flick.
- 37:28Speaker 1: With that fishing sink or that little thing? Dang, man. No,
- 37:33Speaker 1: thank you for saying some of that, dude. Yeah, but
- 37:35Speaker 1: the first time I ever laughed at myself, I realized
- 37:38Speaker 1: how have I been treating myself this whole time. Horrible.
- 37:42Speaker 1: I've heard you talk a lot about things like that, man.
- 37:45Speaker 1: And some of the stuff you say, man, just thank
- 37:46Speaker 1: you for sharing. I know you're not a prophet or
- 37:48Speaker 1: anything like that, but just thank you for sharing honestly
- 37:50Speaker 1: because I think that's the greatest thing we can try
- 37:52Speaker 1: to do.
- 37:53Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm far from a prophet.
- 37:55Speaker 1: Yeah, but I feel like we can try to share honesty.
- 37:57Speaker 1: I'm profitable.
- 37:58Speaker 2: Yeah. I'm just out of profits.
- 38:01Speaker 1: What up?
- 38:02Speaker 2: The only reason I say that is because, you know,
- 38:04Speaker 2: when you hear about profits, they like these such perfect people. Yeah.
- 38:10Speaker 2: I ain't perfect. I'm going to make some mistakes today.
- 38:13Speaker 1: Yeah. Titty man on the loose today, baby.
- 38:18Speaker 2: They got a dude at the gym his name is Kevin.
- 38:20Speaker 2: When I walk in, he's like, hey. Not Titty Man anymore. Yeah.
- 38:26Speaker 1: Oh, he showed up, huh?
- 38:27Speaker 2: Yeah, like, because I did an interview and I was like.
- 38:30Speaker 1: Yeah, sorry for calling you Titty Man.
- 38:32Speaker 2: No, it's okay. It's no big deal. I'm just joking.
- 38:34Speaker 2: It's beautiful because that's where I came from. I was
- 38:37Speaker 2: Titty Man. Yeah. Like, I was holding a baby.
- 38:40Speaker 1: Oh, yeah.
- 38:40Speaker 2: And the baby tried to suck my titty. I had breasts.
- 38:43Speaker 2: Got it. And that was the most embarrassing moment for
- 38:45Speaker 2: me ever. I still talk about that to this day.
- 38:47Speaker 2: And somebody was like, no, you're running like. I said, yeah,
- 38:49Speaker 2: I had breasts. I was Titty Man.
- 38:51Speaker 1: Yeah.
- 38:51Speaker 2: So then they heard the interview. And when I went
- 38:53Speaker 2: to the gym, it was like, hey, you're not titty
- 38:56Speaker 2: man anymore. I was like.
- 38:58Speaker 1: Oh, I used to stay up and look at my buddy.
- 39:00Speaker 1: He had some tits on him, my buddy.
- 39:02Speaker 2: I was going to do that thing. I used to
- 39:04Speaker 2: think that I had, what is it called? Gynoglomastia? Whatever
- 39:10Speaker 2: it's called. Pull it up.
- 39:11Speaker 1: Gynoglomastia. See what it is.
- 39:13Speaker 2: Gynoglomastia. Where is it?
- 39:14Speaker 1: In the Middle East?
- 39:14Speaker 2: Yeah.
- 39:16Speaker 1: Oh, gynecomastia.
- 39:18Speaker 2: Whatever it is. I don't know how to pronounce the word.
- 39:19Speaker 2: I be hearing a lot of people say it. They
- 39:21Speaker 2: like gyno or whatever.
- 39:22Speaker 1: Gynecomastia, a condition where male breast tissue enlarges due to
- 39:26Speaker 1: an imbalance of estrogen and testosterone.
- 39:28Speaker 2: And i and they had this surgery where you go
- 39:30Speaker 2: get your your titty cut out and i was like
- 39:32Speaker 2: man i do that i'm tired of this shit and
- 39:35Speaker 2: i didn't know you got abs under here and when
- 39:39Speaker 2: you work the abs that's what lip like your ab
- 39:41Speaker 2: muscle don't just it go all the way up to
- 39:44Speaker 2: the pectoral and that's what lifted and then doing dips
- 39:47Speaker 2: and Doing abs, that's what made all of that disappear,
- 39:51Speaker 2: just lift.
- 39:52Speaker 1: Got that titty off. Yeah.
- 39:53Speaker 2: God.
- 39:55Speaker 1: Yeah, my buddy had them, and I used to stay
- 39:57Speaker 1: up at night, and he would have his shirt off,
- 39:59Speaker 1: and I'd look at them bitches, bro.
- 40:02Speaker 2: I hate that.
- 40:03Speaker 1: I liked it.
- 40:04Speaker 2: Like when I used to go to the YMCA. Oh, yeah.
- 40:07Speaker 1: Which one?
- 40:08Speaker 2: I used to go to the one on college. The
- 40:13Speaker 2: old one, though. Not the new.
- 40:14Speaker 1: The old one. Pull up that YMCA in Baton Rouge.
- 40:17Speaker 1: The one- There's one over there by the Walgreens.
- 40:20Speaker 2: Not on College, on Foster.
- 40:21Speaker 1: Yeah.
- 40:22Speaker 2: On Foster. The old one. On North Foster. I used
- 40:25Speaker 2: to go to that one. I'm talking about when I
- 40:27Speaker 2: used to come out of my shirt, they used to,
- 40:29Speaker 2: free Willie! Talking about the Will.
- 40:31Speaker 1: Oh, damn, yeah.
- 40:32Speaker 2: Oh, my God. Never in life.
- 40:34Speaker 1: I didn't know people were going through that. Yeah, that's A.C.
- 40:37Speaker 1: Lewis right there. That's a good YMCA. Free Willie out there.
- 40:41Speaker 2: Yeah.
- 40:42Speaker 1: Did you go to school over there ever?
- 40:43Speaker 2: Yeah.
- 40:44Speaker 1: Did you go to college over.
- 40:45Speaker 2: There, too? Something like that. I went to community college.
- 40:47Speaker 2: Did you?
- 40:48Speaker 1: Where you go, BRCC?
- 40:49Speaker 2: Of course.
- 40:50Speaker 1: Let's go.
- 40:51Speaker 2: Turn up.
- 40:51Speaker 1: My sister used to work over there at Cox Communications
- 40:53Speaker 1: over there, man.
- 40:54Speaker 2: I know where that's at.
- 40:55Speaker 1: Yeah, my brother went to Southern for a little while. Dang, bro,
- 40:58Speaker 1: that's wild. What were you studying over there?
- 41:00Speaker 2: Business. Yeah. Introduction to business.
- 41:03Speaker 1: And you graduated, bro.
- 41:04Speaker 2: I didn't graduate.
- 41:05Speaker 1: But overall, you did.
- 41:07Speaker 2: Yeah, I graduated.
- 41:08Speaker 1: Yeah.
- 41:08Speaker 2: Big facts, man. I'm a billion miles past.
- 41:12Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah. Did you get a degree? At some point
- 41:16Speaker 1: I saw that or I read that you got a
- 41:19Speaker 1: degree in jail, in prison.
- 41:22Speaker 2: Yeah.
- 41:22Speaker 1: Is that true?
- 41:23Speaker 2: Yeah, that's true. Wow.
- 41:24Speaker 1: What were the classes like in there and stuff? What
- 41:26Speaker 1: is it?
- 41:26Speaker 2: It wasn't no classes. You just test. I got credits
- 41:30Speaker 2: by testing.
- 41:31Speaker 1: Oh, so they don't have like a, do y'all do like,
- 41:34Speaker 1: I'm trying to think of what it's called. Do y'all
- 41:36Speaker 1: have like group projects or whatever?
- 41:39Speaker 2: No, you have an administrator that administer the tests. Oh, damn.
- 41:43Speaker 2: And you test. Whenever you ready to test, you test. Well,
- 41:46Speaker 2: you can't say whenever you ready to test. Like you
- 41:48Speaker 2: might test once a month or something like that. But
- 41:52Speaker 2: I had a little way that I was able to
- 41:54Speaker 2: keep testing. Shout out to them.
- 41:56Speaker 1: Yeah, shout out to them. But you don't have group projects.
- 42:01Speaker 1: I was wondering if you got a group project or something.
- 42:03Speaker 1: What if your group leader gets put in like in
- 42:04Speaker 1: a solitary confinement or whatever?
- 42:06Speaker 2: It wasn't like that. Yeah. It was not like that
- 42:09Speaker 2: in Louisiana prisons. It was like really every man for
- 42:12Speaker 2: they self.
- 42:13Speaker 1: So you take your test and then like was it?
- 42:15Speaker 2: You study the curriculum and then you go take a test.
- 42:19Speaker 2: You have an administrator that makes sure you don't cheat.
- 42:21Speaker 1: And did other people look down on you if you
- 42:23Speaker 1: was trying to study in there or no?
- 42:25Speaker 2: No. You're trying to get out the dorm. Yeah. Trying
- 42:30Speaker 2: to get out the door.
- 42:31Speaker 1: Yeah, I was just wondering if you had, like, a.
- 42:33Speaker 2: Now, when I went to prison in Chicago, when I...
- 42:37Speaker 2: What that's, Illinois? It was... I forgot. It's EMCC East Moline,
- 42:44Speaker 2: but I forgot the place in Illinois that it was. Now,
- 42:48Speaker 2: they had individual classrooms, like, on the campus.
- 42:52Speaker 1: Y'all would go to class.
- 42:53Speaker 2: Yeah, it was beautiful.
- 42:54Speaker 1: Dang.
- 42:55Speaker 2: That... That last bit I did, it changed my life completely.
- 43:01Speaker 2: That's how I got into yoga. Like, they offer programs
- 43:03Speaker 2: and everything.
- 43:04Speaker 1: At the prison?
- 43:05Speaker 2: At the prison. And they had weights. I say that
- 43:09Speaker 2: like I was lifting weights. Like, if you wanted to
- 43:14Speaker 2: be better, you could become better.
- 43:16Speaker 1: But, dude, that reminds me. You ever been at, like,
- 43:18Speaker 1: a hotel or motel? You'll be in the gym working out.
- 43:21Speaker 1: They have a family just come look at the gym
- 43:22Speaker 1: equipment and then just walk out? Like, they just come
- 43:25Speaker 1: take a tour?
- 43:25Speaker 2: That just happened to me in... You say at the gym?
- 43:28Speaker 1: Yeah, like you'll be in the gym.
- 43:29Speaker 2: That just happened to me at home. I was in
- 43:31Speaker 2: South Carolina. Yeah, I was in South Carolina working out
- 43:35Speaker 2: at a hotel in a gym. And they had people
- 43:38Speaker 2: passing by the gym, and they would look in the
- 43:40Speaker 2: gym and open the door and leave out. But they
- 43:43Speaker 2: was having like a fraternity reunion there.
- 43:46Speaker 1: A conference or something?
- 43:47Speaker 2: I forgot what fraternity it was, but it was like
- 43:50Speaker 2: from all over the country, they were there having some
- 43:54Speaker 2: kind of reunion.
- 43:54Speaker 1: Like Panhellenic or something like that maybe?
- 43:57Speaker 2: Nah, they was friends, they was fraternity, and they told
- 44:00Speaker 2: me they was in a fraternity. A few of them
- 44:02Speaker 2: came in there and talked to me.
- 44:03Speaker 1: Masons or something?
- 44:04Speaker 2: Nah, they wasn't masons. They was like college.
- 44:09Speaker 1: Oh, Frow Deltas or something?
- 44:10Speaker 2: Something like that.
- 44:11Speaker 1: Chopper Darts?
- 44:12Speaker 2: And they was like, yeah, bro, we down here for
- 44:15Speaker 2: some kind of get together. They having parties. Oh, they drinking. Yeah,
- 44:19Speaker 2: we big fans. I was like, yeah. Thank you.
- 44:21Speaker 1: Yeah, sometimes it's wild. I'll be in the gym and
- 44:23Speaker 1: people will come in and just look at the gym like, well,
- 44:26Speaker 1: look at this. If it ain't a gym, you know,
- 44:28Speaker 1: and then they just leave out.
- 44:29Speaker 2: At least they showed up.
- 44:30Speaker 1: Yeah, that's a good point, huh? That's baby steps.
- 44:32Speaker 2: They showed up.
- 44:33Speaker 1: That's baby steps. Yeah, because I was just wondering if
- 44:36Speaker 1: you're in jail, do you have group projects or is
- 44:38Speaker 1: there like most likely to, you know, like that kind
- 44:41Speaker 1: of thing? Like, is it like a real, like most
- 44:43Speaker 1: likely to succeed or most likely to get out of
- 44:46Speaker 1: jail or whatever?
- 44:47Speaker 2: It's still individual-based learning, but you do earn good time
- 44:53Speaker 2: by going to school. I liked it. The way they
- 44:56Speaker 2: had it set up in Illinois, they had programs, and
- 44:59Speaker 2: you earned good time by going to school. It's like
- 45:01Speaker 2: that in Louisiana. In some facilities, you earn good time
- 45:04Speaker 2: by going to school, but the way they had it
- 45:08Speaker 2: set up in Illinois was different. They had real programs,
- 45:12Speaker 2: like real classrooms that you go to. They got some
- 45:15Speaker 2: facilities that offer that, but it's not the same.
- 45:18Speaker 1: So it was more organized over there.
- 45:20Speaker 2: Yeah, it was.
- 45:22Speaker 2: It was more, I'm going to say this. It was
- 45:26Speaker 2: based to help people. It was geared toward anti-recidivism. Recidivism
- 45:31Speaker 2: is repeat offenders. Anti-recidivism is people that go to jail
- 45:36Speaker 2: and become better and don't come back. It was geared
- 45:38Speaker 2: toward anti-recidivism. Like in Louisiana, it's not geared toward that.
- 45:42Speaker 2: It's geared toward, it's a revolving door. You're going to
- 45:46Speaker 2: come back. Right.
- 45:46Speaker 1: We'll see you soon. Yeah. Welcome back. That type of thing.
- 45:50Speaker 1: See you next time.
- 45:51Speaker 2: You know, like, You going in there.
- 45:53Speaker 1: We missed you.
- 45:54Speaker 2: This is one of the worst things, but it was
- 45:56Speaker 2: the most beautiful thing that ever happened, too, because I
- 45:59Speaker 2: needed this. They called me in. They had switched my PO.
- 46:04Speaker 2: They switched my PO. So they called me in. I
- 46:07Speaker 2: go in. I'm thinking I'm just going to piss. Yeah. Like,
- 46:10Speaker 2: you know, give an update on what's going on. Yeah,
- 46:13Speaker 2: put your hands behind your back. Took me to jail.
- 46:17Speaker 2: They said you traveled without. notifying anybody. I'm like, y'all
- 46:21Speaker 2: switch my P.O. I had been attempting to contact and
- 46:24Speaker 2: nobody had ever picked the phone up.
- 46:25Speaker 1: Bang. And where'd you go? You took a vacation?
- 46:28Speaker 2: No, I didn't take a vacation. I was working.
- 46:30Speaker 1: I won't say anything.
- 46:31Speaker 2: Yeah, in the same spot that the P.O. had already
- 46:35Speaker 2: approved travel for. And that's what made me start getting
- 46:38Speaker 2: copies of everything.
- 46:40Speaker 1: Right, so you got proof of what somebody said.
- 46:41Speaker 2: Yeah, I know. Can you sign it? Can I get
- 46:43Speaker 2: a travel for a bit? Can you sign it? And
- 46:45Speaker 2: I start getting copies. Can you make me a copy?
- 46:46Speaker 2: And I start keeping a folder and keeping copies. It
- 46:49Speaker 2: was beautiful, though. It made me be more organized.
- 46:51Speaker 1: Yeah, get some organization in your life and recognize, yeah,
- 46:53Speaker 1: you got to have proof of what's going on, even
- 46:55Speaker 1: for yourself, because you can't even rely on other people's
- 46:57Speaker 1: proof because they'll forget the proof. They'll alter the proof.
- 46:59Speaker 1: You don't even know sometimes.
- 47:01Speaker 2: I don't believe it. Sometimes people get so busy and
- 47:03Speaker 2: caught up with what they got going on. That's true.
- 47:05Speaker 2: That it's easy to forget. If you're dealing with 100
- 47:07Speaker 2: different people, you're not going to possibly remember little old
- 47:10Speaker 2: me until my name starts buzzing. Right.
- 47:13Speaker 1: Well, that's a good point, too, because that's an interesting way.
- 47:15Speaker 1: Sometimes I'll think this is the way that I'll think.
- 47:17Speaker 1: I'll think, oh, they're doing that on purpose to me,
- 47:20Speaker 1: as opposed to what you just said. It sounds like
- 47:22Speaker 1: adversity builds character. But people got a million things going on.
- 47:25Speaker 1: They're not thinking. They're just doing their shit.
- 47:27Speaker 2: They say never suspect malice of what could be mistaken
- 47:31Speaker 2: for incompetence.
- 47:32Speaker 1: Yeah.
- 47:33Speaker 2: Never take as malice for what could be misinterpreted as incompetence.
- 47:37Speaker 1: And it usually is this. Usually it's just kind of incompetence.
- 47:39Speaker 2: People don't just go out of their way to do.
- 47:42Speaker 2: fucked up shit to you they just be so preoccupied
- 47:45Speaker 2: with what they got going on they don't even know
- 47:47Speaker 2: that this is what they're doing yeah until made aware.
- 47:51Speaker 1: But see there were times in my head like these
- 47:53Speaker 1: motherfuckers that's how they treat you but it's not anything
- 47:55Speaker 1: like that you know but i would take that.
- 47:57Speaker 2: On we're gonna automatically you know that's we're gonna automatically
- 48:00Speaker 2: plex i still plex sometimes like have a con develop
- 48:03Speaker 2: a complex about feeling like i'm being you know, mishandled
- 48:09Speaker 2: and things of that nature. But I don't even look
- 48:10Speaker 2: at it like that that should be so petty, because
- 48:12Speaker 2: I look at it now like it's an invitation for
- 48:15Speaker 2: me to lower my frequency. I stay.
- 48:18Speaker 1: What is something you miss about prison?
- 48:20Speaker 2: I don't miss nothing about prison.
- 48:22Speaker 1: Even something little?
- 48:24Speaker 2: No. I don't miss nothing about prison.
- 48:29Speaker 1: So there's nothing in it. What about even just getting
- 48:31Speaker 1: some rest every now and then? Was it like that
- 48:33Speaker 1: or no?
- 48:33Speaker 2: I can get rest out here. I need to go
- 48:35Speaker 2: to prison for to get rest.
- 48:36Speaker 1: Yeah, you're right. You're right, man.
- 48:39Speaker 2: I'm trying to, yeah. What'd I miss?
- 48:40Speaker 1: Now I'm going to read ads for some of the prisons.
- 48:42Speaker 2: Somebody coming up making sure you're in compliance. Bed made up,
- 48:47Speaker 2: all that. I ain't got time for that shit. I
- 48:49Speaker 2: do that on my own anyway.
- 48:50Speaker 1: And what about a cellmate at night? Like, do people
- 48:52Speaker 1: say goodnight to each other or people just quietly go
- 48:54Speaker 1: to sleep?
- 48:56Speaker 2: It depends on if you and your cell are cool.
- 48:59Speaker 2: If you got a cell and y'all cool like that,
- 49:02Speaker 2: you know, but with me, Anytime I leave, any set
- 49:07Speaker 2: I have, they gonna always, man, I'm gonna miss you, bro.
- 49:09Speaker 2: Because I just, I keep it going. I run eps
- 49:12Speaker 2: and everything. And when I say run eps, that means
- 49:16Speaker 2: like I'm running an episode. Like we talking about shit.
- 49:20Speaker 2: But it might go, when I first get in the cell,
- 49:22Speaker 2: it might go by 90 days. My cell is going
- 49:25Speaker 2: to always ask me the same thing. Hey, you sleep
- 49:29Speaker 2: all day and you be up all night. You don't
- 49:31Speaker 2: watch TV and you don't get on the phone. So
- 49:34Speaker 2: I be reading. I just read. I read books. I
- 49:39Speaker 2: got stacks of books. Yeah. Then I don't even go
- 49:43Speaker 2: to child. So, like, say if you indigent. Indigent means
- 49:47Speaker 2: don't nobody send you no money. I'm going to ask you.
- 49:49Speaker 2: You got family out there? They love you? They send
- 49:52Speaker 2: you money? You going to tell me no? Then what
- 49:54Speaker 2: I'm going to do? I'm going to put $ 100 on
- 49:56Speaker 2: your books. You going to give me $ 80 worth of shit,
- 49:59Speaker 2: and you going to just keep the $ 20 for you. Yeah.
- 50:02Speaker 1: That's business.
- 50:03Speaker 2: Yeah. So, you know, you eating and I'm eating because
- 50:06Speaker 2: I don't even go to child. So I do hookups
- 50:08Speaker 2: every night. I cook.
- 50:10Speaker 1: So you're in your own space then.
- 50:11Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm going to cook every night.
- 50:13Speaker 1: So you kind of try to create your own system
- 50:15Speaker 1: within that system, do you feel like, in a way?
- 50:17Speaker 2: No, that's just how I live. That's how I do
- 50:19Speaker 2: my time. I do my bed like that. I don't
- 50:21Speaker 2: really go to childlessness on chicken day. Right.
- 50:24Speaker 1: And no judgment on that.
- 50:26Speaker 2: I probably don't go on chicken day because all the
- 50:29Speaker 2: chicken is going to get brought to me anyway, and
- 50:31Speaker 2: I'm going to just cut all that up and put
- 50:33Speaker 2: that in a soup, put that in a hookup. A
- 50:35Speaker 2: hookup like where you get a big bowl and you,
- 50:38Speaker 2: you know, we cook.
- 50:38Speaker 1: You got your own thing going. Now, how do you
- 50:40Speaker 1: heat the food up in the cell?
- 50:42Speaker 2: It depends on what spot we at. It depends on
- 50:46Speaker 2: where we at. They got some people, they cook on
- 50:48Speaker 2: the bone, like on the middle. They got some people,
- 50:53Speaker 2: they got some jails where they give you a hot pot,
- 50:56Speaker 2: but you got to rig it for it to make
- 50:57Speaker 2: it boil. It depends. Some people make a stinger. What
- 51:01Speaker 2: is that? A stinger, that's the thing they hook in
- 51:03Speaker 2: the electric socket and Let's single. It depends.
- 51:08Speaker 1: Oh, there you got somebody grilling something right there on
- 51:10Speaker 1: a bed sheet.
- 51:12Speaker 2: Yeah. Oh, that's good. It depends on what spot we at.
- 51:16Speaker 1: They have some good chefs in prison?
- 51:18Speaker 2: The best. Amen.
- 51:19Speaker 1: Amen, dude. Yeah, where's that cooking show, huh?
- 51:22Speaker 2: They got people make pizzas, everything. Anything you can think of.
- 51:27Speaker 2: Stir fry, everything. Yeah. I love that. I was locked
- 51:32Speaker 2: up in Florida. They got some shit they do. They
- 51:34Speaker 2: called making a brick. Where they take it, man, they
- 51:37Speaker 2: put everything in there, turkey, sausage, everything. And they just,
- 51:40Speaker 2: I'm talking about everything you could think of they can
- 51:42Speaker 2: get out of the kitchen. They put it in there
- 51:44Speaker 2: and they make it, they cook it in a Dorito
- 51:47Speaker 2: bag and make it like a whole little brick. Oh, yeah. Man,
- 51:50Speaker 2: I'm talking about the truth. Good, huh?
- 51:53Speaker 1: You ever do a prison night or something at the house,
- 51:54Speaker 1: remake some food like that or try to, you ever
- 51:57Speaker 1: remake any stuff like that for your friends so they
- 51:58Speaker 1: can taste it?
- 51:59Speaker 2: Yeah, I done did that for my partners and my
- 52:01Speaker 2: little son. He like all that.
- 52:02Speaker 1: Oh, hell yeah.
- 52:04Speaker 2: But we come from that anywhere on the street, nothing
- 52:06Speaker 2: but ramen noodles and all that. We come from that,
- 52:08Speaker 2: putting anything you can find in it.
- 52:09Speaker 1: Yeah, well, the big thing in our house is— Oh, yeah,
- 52:12Speaker 1: my partner.
- 52:12Speaker 2: Used to make my— he wasn't my silly, but he was
- 52:15Speaker 2: like two doors down. About three doors down, he used
- 52:19Speaker 2: to make burritos.
- 52:20Speaker 1: Oh, yeah. Did he really? He's a Mexican guy?
- 52:24Speaker 2: Nuh-uh, he wasn't Mexican, but he used to make burritos.
- 52:26Speaker 1: He pretended he was Mexican.
- 52:27Speaker 2: For dinner, huh? You would have thought he was a Mexican.
- 52:30Speaker 1: God. I love a burrito, bro.
- 52:32Speaker 2: Man, he used to make the best ones.
- 52:34Speaker 1: I didn't like him at first because I didn't want
- 52:35Speaker 1: to do, I like sandwiches. I didn't want to betray
- 52:37Speaker 1: a sandwich.
- 52:38Speaker 2: Man, he used to do it with all beef, all turkey,
- 52:41Speaker 2: all chicken. I'm talking about the truth. My God. Onions, everything.
- 52:45Speaker 2: Bell peppers, everything.
- 52:46Speaker 1: Oh.
- 52:47Speaker 2: He was putting everything in it.
- 52:48Speaker 1: Now, all the ingredients, you get them through the jail
- 52:51Speaker 1: or some people smuggle in a bell pepper.
- 52:52Speaker 2: You get that from commissary. But like vegetables and shit,
- 52:56Speaker 2: that's going to get broke. That's coming from the kitchen. Yeah.
- 52:59Speaker 2: That's going to get broke. That's broke.
- 53:02Speaker 1: And what about, it got any good desserts in prison?
- 53:04Speaker 1: Was there ever like a- Yeah, they.
- 53:05Speaker 2: Got dudes in there that make candy. They got dudes
- 53:07Speaker 2: in there that make ice cream.
- 53:08Speaker 1: God dang, really?
- 53:10Speaker 2: Wow, I would love that. They got dudes that make everything,
- 53:13Speaker 2: you know. Them some of the most creative people you're
- 53:15Speaker 2: going to ever meet in your life. Them some of
- 53:17Speaker 2: the most intelligent people you're going to ever meet in
- 53:20Speaker 2: your life. Yeah. The most intelligent.
- 53:24Speaker 1: You talk about weights. You talk about yoga. You got
- 53:25Speaker 1: any yoga when you're in there?
- 53:26Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah. I accidentally got into yoga.
- 53:29Speaker 1: How'd that happen?
- 53:30Speaker 2: My partner kept telling me, man, bro.
- 53:31Speaker 1: But I think a lot of black men, you can't
- 53:33Speaker 1: just say I got into yoga. I think you have
- 53:35Speaker 1: to be like, I accidentally got into yoga.
- 53:37Speaker 2: I was against it. I was all the way against it. Oh, yeah.
- 53:40Speaker 2: He was telling me, man, bro, I'm telling you, bro,
- 53:42Speaker 2: they got yoga classes. I said, well, you go in
- 53:44Speaker 2: there and bend over. I'm not going in there and
- 53:46Speaker 2: do that shit. You go in there and bend your
- 53:47Speaker 2: ass over. Yeah. So that was, I was just, I
- 53:50Speaker 2: was like too hard for myself. Just whatever, whatever, whatever.
- 53:53Speaker 2: So- One of my partners from across the hall, he
- 53:56Speaker 2: was like, yeah, bro, I'm gonna holler at you. I'm
- 53:57Speaker 2: about to go do yoga. I say, for what? He
- 54:00Speaker 2: was like, man, I couldn't even like, he was telling
- 54:02Speaker 2: me he had knee pains and all kinds of different
- 54:04Speaker 2: pains in his joints. He said, I don't even have
- 54:07Speaker 2: that shit no more since I've been doing yoga. He said, man,
- 54:09Speaker 2: everything on me, like he said, it's been healing my body.
- 54:13Speaker 2: So I'm like, whatever. Like two days past, I give
- 54:17Speaker 2: it a try. Go in there. The first maybe, two
- 54:21Speaker 2: poses of the shit I did, I'm thinking it's some bullshit. Like,
- 54:24Speaker 2: you know, when you see on TV, you see people, Namaste. Yeah.
- 54:29Speaker 2: You know, you thinking it's bullshit. So I did it. Yeah. Like,
- 54:33Speaker 2: maybe after the third pose, I ran to the bathroom
- 54:37Speaker 2: and shitted everything. Like, it cut my appetite. It's really
- 54:41Speaker 2: what started my, kind of started my fitness journey. Like,
- 54:44Speaker 2: a lot of the people that was lifting weights and
- 54:46Speaker 2: doing all that would still come and do yoga because
- 54:49Speaker 2: I had read in the, What's that? The Arnold Schwarzenegger Encyclopedia?
- 54:54Speaker 2: That big yellow book?
- 54:55Speaker 1: What's he got on there? He had a big, it's called.
- 54:58Speaker 2: There you go right there. Arnold Schwarzenegger Encyclopedia. That's the one.
- 55:04Speaker 2: But he did yoga. He was like whenever a lion
- 55:07Speaker 2: wake up, a lion stretch first before they do anything.
- 55:10Speaker 2: So I started looking at it. And you know, when
- 55:15Speaker 2: you start feeding yourself that, You know, your brain open
- 55:19Speaker 2: up to something different when you're reading it because you
- 55:22Speaker 2: become like an information freak. You become like a seeker
- 55:25Speaker 2: of knowledge because this is the only thing that's stimulating
- 55:28Speaker 2: you mentally. You know what I'm saying? You're being stimulated
- 55:31Speaker 2: by new information. So then I was like, man, yeah,
- 55:34Speaker 2: I'm going to go fuck with it. So I started
- 55:36Speaker 2: fucking with it. I came home. I got off it.
- 55:39Speaker 2: But then I got back on it. And now I'm
- 55:42Speaker 2: like fully committed. Oh, yeah, dude.
- 55:45Speaker 1: I've definitely done some yoga where you'll, I mean, you
- 55:48Speaker 1: will shit. You have shit. You're like, damn, this shit
- 55:50Speaker 1: been missing.
- 55:50Speaker 2: It cuts your appetite and everything.
- 55:52Speaker 1: Yeah.
- 55:52Speaker 2: If I don't do yoga, I feel weird. Yeah.
- 55:56Speaker 1: Oh, dude, there's nothing better when you get done with
- 55:58Speaker 1: yoga and you cut off the computer or however you do,
- 56:01Speaker 1: you know.
- 56:01Speaker 2: Man, I love when my yoga coach used to tell me,
- 56:04Speaker 2: thank you for allowing me to share this space with you. Namaste. Yeah.
- 56:10Speaker 2: I'm like, I bet you not like this at the house.
- 56:13Speaker 2: But in my brain, you know. Oh, yeah.
- 56:18Speaker 1: Oh, dude, yoga sometimes, bro. There'd be a pose one
- 56:20Speaker 1: time I would do something with my shoulder.
- 56:23Speaker 2: I had shoulder pain and all that shit.
- 56:24Speaker 1: It unlocked something inside of me. My tears just coming
- 56:27Speaker 1: out of my face, just stuck in my muscles.
- 56:29Speaker 2: You know that's crazy? That happened to me doing a
- 56:32Speaker 2: pigeon pose. And I was just in the pose. I
- 56:36Speaker 2: was laying there, and I didn't want to lift back
- 56:39Speaker 2: up because I was just crying uncontrollably. And she came
- 56:41Speaker 2: and put her hands on my back, and she was like,
- 56:44Speaker 2: The energy that you're feeling right now is not your own.
- 56:46Speaker 2: It's just psychic debris. You're having an emotional detox.
- 56:50Speaker 3: Damn.
- 56:51Speaker 2: Release it. And I was just breathing through it. And
- 56:54Speaker 2: then I did the left side. And then whoever tell
- 56:58Speaker 2: us about emotional detoxes, I ain't grew up knowing about
- 57:01Speaker 2: that shit. I ain't know that everything that we go
- 57:03Speaker 2: through traumatically, it harness itself somewhere in some type of
- 57:08Speaker 2: muscle fascia or somewhere in the fascia. I ain't know
- 57:11Speaker 2: that shit.
- 57:12Speaker 1: Well, there's not a lot of guys I don't feel
- 57:14Speaker 1: like where you're from talking about this stuff, man. What
- 57:17Speaker 1: do you think really took you?
- 57:18Speaker 2: Yeah, I felt like it was. I'm going to be
- 57:19Speaker 2: honest with you. I did prejudge it. I thought that
- 57:22Speaker 2: was for pussies.
- 57:24Speaker 1: Oh, yeah, dude.
- 57:25Speaker 2: When they first told me about yoga, I'm not about
- 57:27Speaker 2: to do that bitch-ass shit.
- 57:29Speaker 1: Especially in prison. I didn't even know they had different sports.
- 57:31Speaker 1: I thought homosexuality was the only sport in prison.
- 57:34Speaker 2: The first thing I told them, I said, man, you
- 57:35Speaker 2: go in there and bend your ass over. I'm not
- 57:37Speaker 2: about to do it.
- 57:38Speaker 1: Yeah, fucking little zesty boy.
- 57:40Speaker 2: Next thing I know, I was doing them warrior poses and.
- 57:43Speaker 1: All that shit.
- 57:44Speaker 2: This shit ain't no joke.
- 57:47Speaker 1: Yeah, you get in there with your little sugar cane
- 57:49Speaker 1: in there. I ain't going in there. That's how I
- 57:50Speaker 1: would think at first. You get in there with your
- 57:53Speaker 1: little Spicy baby body.
- 57:55Speaker 2: Nah, you're only a victim of what you entertain.
- 57:57Speaker 1: Yeah. Oh, but that's how I was. I was against everything.
- 58:01Speaker 2: Yeah, I used to plex like that. I think in
- 58:03Speaker 2: juvenile detention, because you hear so many fucked up stories
- 58:06Speaker 2: about jail, when you go in there, they're going to
- 58:08Speaker 2: try to fuck you. Yeah, they're fucking people. And you
- 58:10Speaker 2: think that's how it's going.
- 58:12Speaker 1: Yeah, don't wear no cologne in there.
- 58:14Speaker 2: When you go in there, the first thing you do
- 58:16Speaker 2: is plex. And what I mean by plex, you have
- 58:18Speaker 2: a complex. You're in defense mode. But when you get there,
- 58:22Speaker 2: you really see that prison is structured. It's really off respect.
- 58:26Speaker 2: It's ran off respect. Respect run the compound. Ain't nobody
- 58:30Speaker 2: going to pass by you and not say excuse me.
- 58:33Speaker 2: It's different.
- 58:34Speaker 1: Do you admire the level of respect that was in
- 58:36Speaker 1: there in some ways?
- 58:39Speaker 2: I give my respect first, but at the end of
- 58:42Speaker 2: the day, I still demand it.
- 58:45Speaker 1: Did you get treated special because you had celebrity in
- 58:48Speaker 1: your life, you think?
- 58:49Speaker 2: I wasn't a celebrity at first. Got it. Like juvenile
- 58:53Speaker 2: detention through that circuit, I wasn't necessarily.
- 58:55Speaker 1: Was it scary to go back to prison? Like, damn,
- 58:57Speaker 1: now they know me.
- 58:57Speaker 2: Juvenile facilities are more chaotic than adult facilities.
- 59:01Speaker 1: Oh, yeah, I could see that.
- 59:02Speaker 2: So they way more chaotic. So that's where the fighting
- 59:06Speaker 2: and all that go on every day. And adult prison
- 59:09Speaker 2: is structured. It ain't like that. It's laid back. That
- 59:12Speaker 2: shit they be showing on TV, them Mickey Mouse camps. Yeah.
- 59:16Speaker 2: That's not no.
- 59:17Speaker 1: Right, it's not real shit.
- 59:17Speaker 2: That's not no maximum security. That's not no none of that.
- 59:20Speaker 2: Them Mickey Mouse camps.
- 59:21Speaker 1: I used to want to go.
- 59:21Speaker 2: That's not like Louisiana. Like, Louisiana prisons are the roughest
- 59:27Speaker 2: prisons ever. From my perspective, because I haven't been around
- 59:31Speaker 2: a little bit, I haven't been to prison in Canada.
- 59:34Speaker 1: That sounds nice.
- 59:36Speaker 2: So, man, they had the best food.
- 59:38Speaker 1: Oh, man, Canada's great. I would go to prison in Canada.
- 59:40Speaker 2: It was different. Like, the way they respect you there
- 59:44Speaker 2: is total. Like, the way the guards respect you there
- 59:46Speaker 2: is different. When you get to Louisiana, it's a whole
- 59:49Speaker 2: other story.
- 59:49Speaker 1: Yeah, always different. There's a different way that people communicate overall. Dude,
- 59:53Speaker 1: I'll tell you this, even. What I noticed about racial
- 59:55Speaker 1: stuff in Canada when I was up there, I feel
- 59:59Speaker 1: like sometimes in America, especially growing up in the South,
- 1:00:02Speaker 1: there's some tension between black and white, I feel like,
- 1:00:06Speaker 1: but there's a lot of history, right?
- 1:00:07Speaker 2: Louisiana, Mississippi, all white boys different.
- 1:00:09Speaker 1: Yeah.
- 1:00:10Speaker 2: Oh, for sure.
- 1:00:11Speaker 1: But in Canada, if you- They different. In Canada, there's
- 1:00:14Speaker 1: no racial tension.
- 1:00:14Speaker 2: They not regular white boys in Mississippi and Louisiana. They
- 1:00:19Speaker 2: built different.
- 1:00:20Speaker 1: Well, some of them seem like- I.
- 1:00:25Speaker 2: Got a partner right now. We is locked up. If
- 1:00:28Speaker 2: you call him G. White, you might as well just
- 1:00:32Speaker 2: go and get rid of him. Just don't even call him.
- 1:00:34Speaker 2: Because you know that'd be like, what up, G. White?
- 1:00:37Speaker 2: You know you say that. You know he think he
- 1:00:40Speaker 2: a nigga. What up, G. White? Man, they got some
- 1:00:42Speaker 2: white boy. They not going for that. You not about
- 1:00:46Speaker 2: to call me G. White. We could fight all. Hey,
- 1:00:48Speaker 2: all we could play with that knife. And that's how
- 1:00:50Speaker 2: they come. And they built like that.
- 1:00:52Speaker 1: Yeah, it's changed a little bit, huh?
- 1:00:54Speaker 2: No, it ain't changed. It's been like that.
- 1:00:55Speaker 1: You think?
- 1:00:56Speaker 2: Yeah, you got real niggas and bitch niggas everywhere you go.
- 1:00:59Speaker 1: God dang, I hope so.
- 1:01:01Speaker 2: So it's like.
- 1:01:02Speaker 1: I'm glad to know that.
- 1:01:03Speaker 2: Yeah, you're only a victim of what you entertain. Yeah. See,
- 1:01:07Speaker 2: like when you went to the sugar cane, baby, that conversation,
- 1:01:10Speaker 2: I ain't even grin because I'm not in. Right. If
- 1:01:13Speaker 2: you grin, you in. Oh, dang. That was your conversation.
- 1:01:16Speaker 1: I'm not talking to me.
- 1:01:18Speaker 2: Like when you was like, yeah, I want to be
- 1:01:19Speaker 2: in there with my sugar baby and the yoga thing.
- 1:01:21Speaker 2: I was like.
- 1:01:22Speaker 1: I said there were men in there. I think there's
- 1:01:24Speaker 1: creative men in there.
- 1:01:26Speaker 2: Yeah, that wasn't my conversation. I'm a real Vic, so
- 1:01:30Speaker 2: that just went over my head. I ain't no new Jack.
- 1:01:32Speaker 1: Me too, bro. I ain't about that shit.
- 1:01:34Speaker 2: Yeah, so when somebody had them kind of conversations.
- 1:01:37Speaker 1: Yeah, I ain't having them.
- 1:01:38Speaker 2: Yeah, that just go over my head.
- 1:01:40Speaker 1: Me too.
- 1:01:41Speaker 2: Because if you grin, you in. You're only victim of
- 1:01:43Speaker 2: what you entertain.
- 1:01:44Speaker 1: I'm chilling. I ain't smiling about nothing. I feel that.
- 1:01:48Speaker 2: Not like if you grin, you in, but if you
- 1:01:50Speaker 2: entertain it. Right. Oh, I see what you're saying. You know,
- 1:01:52Speaker 2: you opened the door for that.
- 1:01:53Speaker 1: Yeah, not me. I'm locking that up.
- 1:01:56Speaker 2: And that's one thing I teach my son. Like, sometimes
- 1:01:59Speaker 2: he'll see something on the Internet, like a comment. I say, hey,
- 1:02:02Speaker 2: you don't entertain that. You a man. Right. Don't ever
- 1:02:05Speaker 2: let nobody defeat you with words. You don't entertain it.
- 1:02:08Speaker 1: How did you start to get to know yourself, right?
- 1:02:10Speaker 1: Because you talked about that.
- 1:02:13Speaker 2: Solitude.
- 1:02:14Speaker 1: Really?
- 1:02:16Speaker 2: Solitude.
- 1:02:17Speaker 1: Because you're one of the few kind of rappers I
- 1:02:19Speaker 1: feel like that I've met or experienced or paid attention
- 1:02:22Speaker 1: to that I know of that talks about that kind
- 1:02:23Speaker 1: of stuff, their relationship with themselves, right?
- 1:02:25Speaker 2: Most of the things that we did, excuse me, I
- 1:02:28Speaker 2: can't say we. I'm going to speak for me. All right.
- 1:02:30Speaker 2: Most of the things that I did in my life
- 1:02:32Speaker 2: that people would consider heroic or violent that I got
- 1:02:38Speaker 2: stripes for, that was out of fear or seeking validation
- 1:02:42Speaker 2: from somebody older than me.
- 1:02:44Speaker 1: But how did you start to realize that that's what
- 1:02:47Speaker 1: was going on? Like that you, like when you say
- 1:02:51Speaker 1: like solitary, being by yourself.
- 1:02:55Speaker 2: Being in solitude, spending time alone.
- 1:02:58Speaker 1: So what was that practice? Did you have a practice
- 1:02:59Speaker 1: that started? I mean, you said like a little bit
- 1:03:01Speaker 1: of yoga. So that kind of opened up your idea
- 1:03:02Speaker 1: to like doing something different. But what, like, what was,
- 1:03:06Speaker 1: was there somebody who started to teach you these practices?
- 1:03:09Speaker 2: Because.
- 1:03:10Speaker 1: It's hard to get from just.
- 1:03:12Speaker 2: When a student ready to learn to teach you a pill,
- 1:03:14Speaker 2: once you start walking this path, like this path led
- 1:03:18Speaker 2: me to doing this right now, today. And when I
- 1:03:22Speaker 2: leave here, I don't know who I'm going to meet
- 1:03:24Speaker 2: that may give me a tidbit of knowledge that's going
- 1:03:26Speaker 2: to propel me forward. I don't know. And it just,
- 1:03:30Speaker 2: you pick it up. The reward really is in the journey.
- 1:03:33Speaker 2: So I just pick up little tidbits along the way. Yeah.
- 1:03:37Speaker 2: How you say it? Tidbits, my bad.
- 1:03:39Speaker 1: Yeah, tid.
- 1:03:40Speaker 2: That's that Louisiana, my tongue heavy.
- 1:03:42Speaker 1: That tidbits, oh yeah.
- 1:03:43Speaker 2: So I talk lazy.
- 1:03:48Speaker 1: When you look on your life, what's some of the
- 1:03:50Speaker 1: worst pain that you felt like you have ever been in?
- 1:03:53Speaker 2: Physical, emotional, or mental?
- 1:03:54Speaker 1: Emotional probably, I would say, or mental. Because I've heard
- 1:03:58Speaker 1: you talk about trauma and overcoming past traumas. You don't
- 1:04:01Speaker 1: hear a lot of people talk like that. You know,
- 1:04:03Speaker 1: so like, I'm just like.
- 1:04:05Speaker 2: Recently, 2020, I was going to kill myself. Damn. I
- 1:04:10Speaker 2: had deleted my Instagram for like a year and a half.
- 1:04:14Speaker 2: I was going to kill myself. Because I only felt
- 1:04:18Speaker 2: appreciated for my ability to do. And then I was
- 1:04:22Speaker 2: always looking at Instagram, and it was like I was comparison.
- 1:04:27Speaker 2: And I spoke about this before. I was comparing my
- 1:04:29Speaker 2: life to other people's life. And comparison really is the
- 1:04:34Speaker 2: killer of all joy. And I didn't understand that until
- 1:04:37Speaker 2: I started looking at my life like, damn. Like, I'm
- 1:04:41Speaker 2: seeing everybody highlight real. But at the end of the day,
- 1:04:45Speaker 2: I'm just me. But everybody else living so great. But
- 1:04:49Speaker 2: that's just the highlights. That's not what they going through
- 1:04:52Speaker 2: every day. And it took me getting off Instagram and
- 1:04:56Speaker 2: getting off social media, period, to see that people really
- 1:05:00Speaker 2: do love me. and enjoy the world and start having gratitude. Like,
- 1:05:05Speaker 2: think about the things you grateful for. Not what you
- 1:05:08Speaker 2: don't have and not how shit not going, but think
- 1:05:10Speaker 2: about all the good shit and just be thankful. Like,
- 1:05:13Speaker 2: I'm grateful for this, I'm grateful for that. And that's
- 1:05:15Speaker 2: when things started to kind of change for me.
- 1:05:18Speaker 1: A lot of people say that kind of stuff, but
- 1:05:19Speaker 1: that's not a practice in their life, right? It's not
- 1:05:21Speaker 1: like a real truth that they're living. I think that's
- 1:05:24Speaker 1: one thing to me, that's interesting by you, it feels
- 1:05:26Speaker 1: like that's really how you have chosen to live your life.
- 1:05:30Speaker 1: What were like practices?
- 1:05:30Speaker 2: I don't have, I'm going to be honest, every day
- 1:05:32Speaker 2: not going to be a good day for me. But
- 1:05:35Speaker 2: I'm still going to go to the gym. Right. Because
- 1:05:37Speaker 2: that is my therapy. And I kind of train myself
- 1:05:40Speaker 2: to know that whenever I have like a fucked up feeling,
- 1:05:43Speaker 2: like the days that I don't even want to go,
- 1:05:46Speaker 2: them the days that I had the best workouts. I
- 1:05:49Speaker 2: then kind of start playing a game with myself. I
- 1:05:51Speaker 2: know when certain people start texting me, And as low
- 1:05:54Speaker 2: vibrational people, something good must be about to happen. There's
- 1:05:57Speaker 2: got to be a test. Something good about to happen.
- 1:05:59Speaker 2: And I just started training myself to look at it
- 1:06:01Speaker 2: like that. And that's really how it be going now. Yeah.
- 1:06:04Speaker 1: Alternate act like that. Taking the opposite choice. Making the
- 1:06:07Speaker 1: opposite choice. Because everything inside of you is like, take
- 1:06:10Speaker 1: off today. Take it easy. Don't do nothing.
- 1:06:12Speaker 2: I swear to God. I went jogged and everything before
- 1:06:15Speaker 2: I came here. Amen.
- 1:06:17Speaker 1: I heard you talk before about a lot of men
- 1:06:19Speaker 1: you don't feel like are living their truth, right?
- 1:06:22Speaker 2: Right now.
- 1:06:24Speaker 1: I feel like we're in a tough spot with love
- 1:06:28Speaker 1: and the moral value of relationships and stuff like that.
- 1:06:32Speaker 2: Ain't nobody really loving people no more. I think I'm
- 1:06:40Speaker 2: the only person right now that's really living in my authenticity.
- 1:06:46Speaker 2: I'm talking about as far as on the main stage,
- 1:06:48Speaker 2: people say what's politically correct and I don't give a
- 1:06:51Speaker 2: fuck what nobody think about me. Because if everybody like me,
- 1:06:54Speaker 2: then I'm pussy. You know what I'm saying? I'm just,
- 1:06:57Speaker 2: I want to be liked by everybody. He who is
- 1:06:59Speaker 2: a friend to everyone is a friend to no one.
- 1:07:02Speaker 2: I'm not a good, I'm not friendly, but I'm a
- 1:07:04Speaker 2: great friend. And that's just my perspective on it. Like,
- 1:07:10Speaker 2: it's a lot of people that won't allow themselves to
- 1:07:13Speaker 2: love somebody based on their past situations or the bumps
- 1:07:17Speaker 2: and mistakes that they made. And for fear of how
- 1:07:21Speaker 2: the rest of the world will look at them, I
- 1:07:24Speaker 2: don't care how the world look at me. Don't care.
- 1:07:28Speaker 2: I'm living life all out. Damn, dude. Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. Really, really.
- 1:07:35Speaker 1: Dude, I'll tell you this, Kevin. I remember times in
- 1:07:38Speaker 1: my life I was like, man, I wouldn't date a
- 1:07:40Speaker 1: certain girl because of what my friends would think of her, bro.
- 1:07:42Speaker 1: And then I spent like a couple years like that
- 1:07:45Speaker 1: one time. I had that problem, but But then I
- 1:07:47Speaker 1: missed out on a good opportunity, too.
- 1:07:50Speaker 2: Man, once I started fucking with this little chick, everybody
- 1:07:55Speaker 2: told me don't fuck with her. She ended up being,
- 1:07:58Speaker 2: and still to this day, we still good friends. She
- 1:08:00Speaker 2: was one of the most solid people I ever met.
- 1:08:02Speaker 2: And this back from when I was still on the block.
- 1:08:06Speaker 2: And we still cool. She doing good for herself now.
- 1:08:09Speaker 2: She in the real estate and shit now. But this
- 1:08:11Speaker 2: from back when I was on the block with her.
- 1:08:14Speaker 2: She was dancing. She used to dance. Everybody, man, don't
- 1:08:17Speaker 2: mess with her. She a stripper. She... And she ended
- 1:08:19Speaker 2: up being one of the most solid people. And that's
- 1:08:22Speaker 2: when I realized it's the people that the world say
- 1:08:24Speaker 2: the most fucked up shit about be the best people.
- 1:08:27Speaker 2: And the people everybody praise and be like, yeah, this person,
- 1:08:30Speaker 2: he's such a great guy. They really be barbaric behind
- 1:08:33Speaker 2: closed doors. They don't have no morals. They don't have
- 1:08:35Speaker 2: no principles. They don't stand for nothing. So I just
- 1:08:39Speaker 2: noticed some of your better people be the people that
- 1:08:41Speaker 2: everybody don't like.
- 1:08:43Speaker 1: Well, I think it's tough for people.
- 1:08:44Speaker 2: You kind of, one of them people, like, when I
- 1:08:47Speaker 2: say authentic, like, you pretty much do your own shit.
- 1:08:53Speaker 2: You one of them people. Thanks. To me, you live
- 1:08:57Speaker 2: in your authenticity. A lot of people be like, the
- 1:09:00Speaker 2: stuff that you say, a lot of people wouldn't say
- 1:09:02Speaker 2: it for fear of how it would be perceived. You
- 1:09:04Speaker 2: just say it, and I'm like, I can't help but
- 1:09:09Speaker 2: to fuck with it.
- 1:09:10Speaker 1: That's a good point, right?
- 1:09:12Speaker 2: You just real people.
- 1:09:13Speaker 1: Thanks for the compliment, man. Yeah, I try my best.
- 1:09:16Speaker 1: I think the tough part is- It was the truth.
- 1:09:19Speaker 2: Like, it was the truth. Right.
- 1:09:22Speaker 1: I think the tough part, it's just, I'm just always
- 1:09:28Speaker 1: still trying to figure out who I am, and I'm
- 1:09:29Speaker 1: amazed at new things that come along.
- 1:09:31Speaker 2: Most people won't admit that, like, one of my albums
- 1:09:35Speaker 2: that's about to come out is called Don't Know What
- 1:09:37Speaker 2: I'm Doing, because I don't know what I'm doing. Yeah.
- 1:09:40Speaker 2: Most people won't admit that they don't know what they're doing.
- 1:09:42Speaker 2: I don't know what I'm doing. I'm still discovering new
- 1:09:45Speaker 2: parts of myself every day. I don't know. People be
- 1:09:49Speaker 2: asking me, so what you going to do today? I
- 1:09:50Speaker 2: don't know. I haven't figured it out yet.
- 1:09:56Speaker 1: How do you keep your ego? Because this is something
- 1:09:57Speaker 1: I've noticed in my life, right? Like my ego. How
- 1:10:01Speaker 1: do I figure out what is my ego and what
- 1:10:03Speaker 1: is self-confidence and self-worth? Do you know what I'm talking about?
- 1:10:07Speaker 1: Your ego can slip in.
- 1:10:08Speaker 2: To be honest, 2025, some people can say that I'm
- 1:10:16Speaker 2: operating out of ego. But I'm not giving to nobody
- 1:10:19Speaker 2: but me. Like, I'm not. I've given everything I had
- 1:10:23Speaker 2: to give, and now everybody else can just figure it out.
- 1:10:29Speaker 2: And we can say that's ego, that's cool, but when
- 1:10:32Speaker 2: I go to the gym, I don't ego lift. Right.
- 1:10:34Speaker 2: I don't lift the heaviest weights in there. I do
- 1:10:38Speaker 2: what's comfortable for me. I work at my own pace. Hey,
- 1:10:41Speaker 2: you know, what I eat doesn't make you shit, and
- 1:10:44Speaker 2: what you eat doesn't make me shit. Mm-hmm. So if
- 1:10:47Speaker 2: you want to go in there and be the world's
- 1:10:48Speaker 2: strongest person, you know, good luck, buddy.
- 1:10:51Speaker 1: Yeah.
- 1:10:53Speaker 2: Great for you. I do what works for me. And
- 1:10:57Speaker 2: I always make sure, am I getting what I came for?
- 1:11:02Speaker 2: I just want to get what I came for. Like,
- 1:11:03Speaker 2: what do you mean by that? Like, when I go
- 1:11:05Speaker 2: to the gym, I don't get sidetracked and hosializing.
- 1:11:09Speaker 1: Yeah.
- 1:11:10Speaker 2: What I mean by hosializing is I knew I had
- 1:11:13Speaker 2: this interview today, and I already made the commitment. So
- 1:11:17Speaker 2: I'm going to honor that commitment. So when I went,
- 1:11:19Speaker 2: I'm just giving you an illustration.
- 1:11:21Speaker 1: For sure.
- 1:11:21Speaker 2: Or example. So when I went to the gym today,
- 1:11:23Speaker 2: I went in there to get what I came for.
- 1:11:25Speaker 2: I ain't coming here to be friendly. I ain't coming
- 1:11:27Speaker 2: here to hosialize. And what I mean by hosialize, you know,
- 1:11:30Speaker 2: you aren't compared by y'all over there hosializing, huh? Yeah. Hosializing. Yeah,
- 1:11:34Speaker 2: y'all over there hosializing. You lying to him and he
- 1:11:36Speaker 2: lying to you. Y'all lying to each other. I ain't
- 1:11:40Speaker 2: coming here to hosialize.
- 1:11:43Speaker 1: Yeah, man. I think having... parameters for yourself and boundaries
- 1:11:46Speaker 1: for what your goals are. That's, I think, what.
- 1:11:49Speaker 2: And had I not did what I needed to do
- 1:11:53Speaker 2: to raise my frequency, me going to the gym that
- 1:11:55Speaker 2: day was committing to act of self-love, I wouldn't have
- 1:11:58Speaker 2: been able to do this. Right. I feel great now. Yeah.
- 1:12:01Speaker 2: I feel amazing.
- 1:12:04Speaker 1: Yeah, your energy comes in, and yeah, it's funny, because
- 1:12:07Speaker 1: you come in, I feel like, damn, I got to...
- 1:12:09Speaker 1: I want to be on a level.
- 1:12:10Speaker 2: Well, you came in when I saw Jesse... And every
- 1:12:13Speaker 2: time I see Jesse, I'm, Jesse is a friend, and
- 1:12:17Speaker 2: he's always been a good friend of mine. Lately, something's changed.
- 1:12:21Speaker 2: If you're watching this, Jesse, shout out to you, Jesse.
- 1:12:25Speaker 2: He was like, every time I see him, he was like,
- 1:12:30Speaker 2: every time he sees me, he makes a song about
- 1:12:32Speaker 2: stealing my fucking girl. And that's just a joke that
- 1:12:35Speaker 2: we got every time I see you.
- 1:12:37Speaker 1: Good to see you, Jesse, bro.
- 1:12:39Speaker 2: Yeah, Jesse, if you're watching this....
- 1:12:43Speaker 1: He's watching, man.
- 1:12:44Speaker 2: If you're watching, Jesse, this one's for you, brother. It's
- 1:12:45Speaker 2: for you, buddy.
- 1:12:47Speaker 1: It's for you, buddy. Did you have self-hatred and stuff?
- 1:12:51Speaker 1: Did you deal with that?
- 1:12:52Speaker 2: Of course.
- 1:12:52Speaker 1: How'd you know you had it?
- 1:12:55Speaker 2: My actions. You know who told me, who kind of
- 1:12:59Speaker 2: started the conversation? I was talking to Plaz one day.
- 1:13:04Speaker 1: Really?
- 1:13:04Speaker 2: Yeah, and it may not seem like it, but that's
- 1:13:08Speaker 2: a real intelligent dude. So he was like, man, Gator.
- 1:13:12Speaker 2: That's something I be noticing, bro. He said, Gates, man,
- 1:13:16Speaker 2: you be acting like an ugly nigga, man. I said,
- 1:13:18Speaker 2: what you mean? You just be, you be moving around
- 1:13:20Speaker 2: like an ugly nigga, man, and you not no ugly nigga.
- 1:13:23Speaker 2: You handsome, but I'm just saying you be like an
- 1:13:25Speaker 2: ugly nigga. And I be like, what you mean? Man,
- 1:13:28Speaker 2: you got to have some security with you. Can't nobody
- 1:13:31Speaker 2: be just touching you. And then we were sitting down
- 1:13:35Speaker 2: at the table and a lady was trying to tell me,
- 1:13:37Speaker 2: he said, hold on, I'm delicate. I ain't know what
- 1:13:40Speaker 2: he meant, but he was talking about setting those energetic
- 1:13:42Speaker 2: boundaries for yourself. Like everybody not supposed to have access
- 1:13:46Speaker 2: to you because it's texting on your spirit. It's draining.
- 1:13:50Speaker 2: It's draining. Certain phone calls is draining. Hello? Yeah. What's
- 1:13:56Speaker 2: going on? They about to tell you some bullshit, some
- 1:13:59Speaker 2: bad news. I don't want to hear that shit.
- 1:14:01Speaker 1: Yeah.
- 1:14:02Speaker 2: Maybe that's my ego. You act like you don't care.
- 1:14:05Speaker 2: I don't. It's not that I don't give a fuck.
- 1:14:09Speaker 2: I could just give a fuck less. Yeah. I care
- 1:14:12Speaker 2: about me. Right. Fuck that. I don't want to hear
- 1:14:16Speaker 2: that shit. Damn.
- 1:14:17Speaker 1: Yeah, it's so true, man.
- 1:14:19Speaker 2: Because a person that don't.
- 1:14:19Speaker 1: You'll take it on.
- 1:14:21Speaker 2: A person that don't. You're not doing the work every day.
- 1:14:24Speaker 1: Yeah.
- 1:14:24Speaker 2: So it's like. I'm doing the work every day. So
- 1:14:29Speaker 2: a person that's not doing the work every day, it's
- 1:14:31Speaker 2: really nothing you could tell me because I'm doing the
- 1:14:34Speaker 2: work every day. Like I go weeks sometime without eating
- 1:14:38Speaker 2: when I'm fasting, when I need clarity. I just stop eating.
- 1:14:41Speaker 2: Three days in, no food. You wouldn't even go three hours.
- 1:14:44Speaker 1: Yeah.
- 1:14:45Speaker 2: I'm hungry. I have a headache. That's your body detoxing.
- 1:14:49Speaker 2: So I don't even listen to people like that. Yeah. Oh, yeah.
- 1:14:53Speaker 2: Don't care.
- 1:14:54Speaker 1: People get all fattened out or whatever they cook. Yeah,
- 1:14:57Speaker 1: people just wasting your time.
- 1:14:58Speaker 2: I mean, food could be used as a drug sometimes.
- 1:15:02Speaker 2: Sometimes food could be used as a coping mechanism because
- 1:15:05Speaker 2: I used to use food as a coping mechanism. Sometimes
- 1:15:07Speaker 2: I'd overeat or sometimes I wouldn't eat.
- 1:15:10Speaker 1: What would your snack be if you had a destined,
- 1:15:12Speaker 1: like an evening snack, nighttime snack, goodnight Kevin or whatever snack?
- 1:15:17Speaker 2: Now or then?
- 1:15:18Speaker 1: Back then.
- 1:15:19Speaker 2: I used to drink a lot of syrup.
- 1:15:21Speaker 1: Straight syrup?
- 1:15:22Speaker 2: No, I used to mix it with like, The pineapple
- 1:15:28Speaker 2: sun kiss. That's when Activist was out. I used it
- 1:15:31Speaker 2: like the cough syrup. I used to mix it with
- 1:15:33Speaker 2: pineapple sun kiss, Sprite, and Mountain Dew. Them was my favorites.
- 1:15:37Speaker 1: Damn, and some syrup?
- 1:15:38Speaker 2: Yeah.
- 1:15:39Speaker 1: What kind of low cabin light or whatever? Uh-uh.
- 1:15:42Speaker 2: And then I used to have to eat. What was
- 1:15:46Speaker 2: my favorite thing to eat? I liked them little Uncrustables.
- 1:15:51Speaker 2: With the peanut butter and jelly? I liked them. And
- 1:15:55Speaker 2: what else I used to eat? Something else I used
- 1:15:59Speaker 2: to eat all the time.
- 1:16:02Speaker 1: Doritos maybe or something?
- 1:16:04Speaker 2: I don't know if it was chicken wings. It was something.
- 1:16:08Speaker 2: I forgot. It was something I used to eat all
- 1:16:11Speaker 2: the time. I forgot. I know it was unhealthy, whatever
- 1:16:14Speaker 2: it was.
- 1:16:14Speaker 1: But you're talking about drugs.
- 1:16:16Speaker 2: Yeah, I used to do drugs.
- 1:16:16Speaker 1: Codeine syrup.
- 1:16:17Speaker 2: Yeah, codeine.
- 1:16:18Speaker 1: I didn't know what you were talking about at first.
- 1:16:19Speaker 2: Yeah.
- 1:16:20Speaker 1: Wow, and you were addicted to it.
- 1:16:22Speaker 2: I ain't going to say addicted, but I didn't like it.
- 1:16:25Speaker 2: I loved it. Yeah. Yeah, I loved.
- 1:16:30Speaker 1: It.
- 1:16:30Speaker 2: I never went to rehab either. You didn't? Rehab's for quitters.
- 1:16:37Speaker 2: I'm not trying to quit.
- 1:16:38Speaker 1: But you don't do that anymore, though.
- 1:16:40Speaker 2: Because I found a new drug, fitness, my new drug
- 1:16:44Speaker 2: of choice.
- 1:16:46Speaker 1: Do you notice, though, are you able to notice a
- 1:16:48Speaker 1: different feeling of how much different you feel making those choices?
- 1:16:52Speaker 2: Yes, I'm going to be honest. And I hate to
- 1:16:55Speaker 2: say what I'm about to say. When people be like,
- 1:16:59Speaker 2: I miss the old Kevin, I get it. Because I
- 1:17:02Speaker 2: miss the old Eminem when he was on drugs. That's
- 1:17:05Speaker 2: the Eminem I like. That's the Eminem I like. I
- 1:17:09Speaker 2: like the Eminem that was on drugs. So I know
- 1:17:12Speaker 2: what people mean when they, man, I miss the old Kevin.
- 1:17:15Speaker 2: I'm like, I get it. I get it. Because I
- 1:17:20Speaker 2: miss him, too.
- 1:17:21Speaker 3: I do.
- 1:17:21Speaker 2: But I'm not about to sacrifice the way I feel
- 1:17:24Speaker 2: for that. Like, I love the way I'm at now.
- 1:17:29Speaker 1: Well, I think that's a trap, too, is to stay
- 1:17:31Speaker 1: where you are. You know, it's a trap.
- 1:17:33Speaker 2: Man, you can grow with me or you can grow
- 1:17:35Speaker 2: without me. But either way, it's on with and up
- 1:17:37Speaker 2: with me. But I do get it, though, when people say, man,
- 1:17:40Speaker 2: I miss the old Kevin. Because I miss the old Eminem.
- 1:17:43Speaker 2: I do. I miss the old Eminem. I swear to
- 1:17:46Speaker 2: God I do.
- 1:17:47Speaker 1: Oh, yeah, I believe that. I miss, there's times in
- 1:17:50Speaker 1: my own life that I miss. There's times in my
- 1:17:51Speaker 1: own life where I felt like I was funnier or
- 1:17:53Speaker 1: like had better ideas and stuff, but things just change
- 1:17:56Speaker 1: and sometimes it's different.
- 1:17:57Speaker 2: Nah, I like where I'm at now. Yeah? I like
- 1:18:00Speaker 2: where I'm at now. Man, I'm a motherfucking supermodel, man.
- 1:18:04Speaker 2: I love where I'm at now. This shit different now.
- 1:18:07Speaker 2: I used to couldn't even do the wheel, the ab wheel.
- 1:18:09Speaker 2: Now I do that shit effortless. Really? I go jogging
- 1:18:12Speaker 2: in the morning effortless. It's just automatic. When I stretch,
- 1:18:15Speaker 2: it's effortless. When I f * * * my bitch,
- 1:18:19Speaker 2: it's just effortless. Wow. And I just, I do everything better.
- 1:18:23Speaker 2: And I hate to say what I just said, but
- 1:18:25Speaker 2: it's the God honest truth. I just, I wouldn't change
- 1:18:27Speaker 2: just for the world. It was time to drink and serve.
- 1:18:30Speaker 2: My dick wouldn't even get hard. Oh, yeah. And not
- 1:18:32Speaker 2: to get off on no sexual related type, but I
- 1:18:34Speaker 2: had erectile dysfunction at 20, what, 23, 24 years old. Yeah.
- 1:18:39Speaker 2: Because of all the drugs I was doing. So, I'm okay.
- 1:18:42Speaker 1: Oh.
- 1:18:44Speaker 2: Never trade that for this I love where I'm at
- 1:18:47Speaker 2: now I can sing better like my singing voice has
- 1:18:51Speaker 2: matured now because I'm not on drugs so I I
- 1:18:55Speaker 2: love where I'm at now the music that I make
- 1:18:57Speaker 2: is I make music that I can work out in
- 1:18:59Speaker 2: the gym too now so I you know not other
- 1:19:02Speaker 2: I get it though I get it I understand yeah
- 1:19:06Speaker 2: but I don't care but I understand yeah yeah I
- 1:19:11Speaker 2: miss the old Gates, yeah.
- 1:19:13Speaker 1: Oh, dude.
- 1:19:13Speaker 2: Yeah, I think. Great.
- 1:19:15Speaker 1: But I think the new Gates is really prophetic. I
- 1:19:21Speaker 1: think the new Gates says some things that are really.
- 1:19:23Speaker 2: Man, yo, bro. I love you, bro. You scaring me
- 1:19:27Speaker 2: right now.
- 1:19:27Speaker 1: I am? Yeah.
- 1:19:29Speaker 2: Sorry. I don't want to be a prophet. Okay, I won't.
- 1:19:33Speaker 2: That's scary. Yeah, that's true. That's scary when you say
- 1:19:38Speaker 2: shit like that, like. You know, that's crazy. Like, you
- 1:19:43Speaker 2: the first person that I ever sat in front of
- 1:19:45Speaker 2: that said that to me. Like, thank you. I love
- 1:19:50Speaker 2: you for being able to see me. But that's scary.
- 1:19:54Speaker 1: Yeah, maybe that's unnecessary kind of like.
- 1:19:56Speaker 2: And I don't mean it like that. It's somebody else
- 1:19:58Speaker 2: that when they see this, they're going to be like, see,
- 1:20:00Speaker 2: I told you. Because there's some people that argue with
- 1:20:03Speaker 2: me like, I told you he was a prophet. I'm like,
- 1:20:04Speaker 2: but prophets are perfect. I'm not perfect.
- 1:20:09Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I don't think that.
- 1:20:12Speaker 2: I wouldn't have made it in the book. It's a
- 1:20:14Speaker 2: good thing I wasn't around Jesus. I'd have made us
- 1:20:17Speaker 2: look bad.
- 1:20:18Speaker 1: Yeah. Instead of a disciple, you didn't need a disciple.
- 1:20:21Speaker 2: I'd have made us look bad.
- 1:20:22Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying? In general, most religious traditions
- 1:20:26Speaker 1: do not consider prophets to be perfect in the sense
- 1:20:29Speaker 1: of being entirely free from error or sin. While they're
- 1:20:32Speaker 1: often revered for the divine connection and ability to convey
- 1:20:35Speaker 1: God's message, there's still a lot of pressure. I just like, man,
- 1:20:38Speaker 1: I like the new bars you have just as much
- 1:20:40Speaker 1: as the old bars, man. That's what I like.
- 1:20:42Speaker 2: Hey, at least somebody cares.
- 1:20:44Speaker 1: That's what I like, too.
- 1:20:45Speaker 2: At least somebody cares. But it's just, and it's not
- 1:20:50Speaker 2: to say that you wrong for saying that. It's just
- 1:20:53Speaker 2: a few people in my camp, in my circle, they
- 1:20:55Speaker 2: be like, you know, you're a prophet, right? And I'm like, no,
- 1:20:58Speaker 2: I don't want to be that. And I guess it's
- 1:21:00Speaker 2: me shying away from the responsibility of that. I don't
- 1:21:03Speaker 2: want that responsibility. If I said something and it helped,
- 1:21:08Speaker 2: Take it for what it's worth. I made a bunch
- 1:21:10Speaker 2: of mistakes to get, whatever knowledge and wisdom I gave you,
- 1:21:13Speaker 2: I made a bunch of mistakes to get to that point.
- 1:21:20Speaker 1: How do you be a parent that was different than
- 1:21:22Speaker 1: how you was parented? Because that's one of the most
- 1:21:26Speaker 1: important things.
- 1:21:27Speaker 2: We could go anywhere. We could go anywhere. Because the
- 1:21:32Speaker 2: truth hurts, but it heals. So we could go, we
- 1:21:35Speaker 2: could have any kind of conversation. What makes me a
- 1:21:38Speaker 2: better parent is I was sexually victimized and I didn't
- 1:21:42Speaker 2: have a safe place to communicate. I created a space
- 1:21:46Speaker 2: for my children to communicate with me. So they say
- 1:21:50Speaker 2: when you work on yourself, you heal seven generations backwards
- 1:21:53Speaker 2: and seven generations forward. And damn, I hate to say this,
- 1:21:57Speaker 2: but somebody before me, they was sexually victimized also. So
- 1:22:05Speaker 2: it was like something that, kind of ran in the family.
- 1:22:08Speaker 1: Oh, yeah, like a learned behavior or okay, yeah.
- 1:22:10Speaker 2: It was like they had went through the same thing.
- 1:22:14Speaker 2: And by me creating that space for my children to
- 1:22:18Speaker 2: be able to communicate with me, don't nobody never touch you,
- 1:22:22Speaker 2: you know, you always talk to me. I don't judge
- 1:22:25Speaker 2: my children. As long as you tell me the truth,
- 1:22:26Speaker 2: I'm never going to be upset with you no matter
- 1:22:28Speaker 2: what it is. I'm here to help you figure it out.
- 1:22:31Speaker 2: You know, that's me. So anyway, I broke those generational curses.
- 1:22:36Speaker 2: Excuse me, generational traumas, let's say that. They're not generational curse,
- 1:22:40Speaker 2: generational traumas. So I broke that. And the reason I
- 1:22:43Speaker 2: don't really speak on it, like, because it was, my
- 1:22:49Speaker 2: family's still kind of healing from that situation.
- 1:22:51Speaker 1: Yeah, that's understood.
- 1:22:52Speaker 2: Like, me and my mother, we got a beautiful relationship now. Like,
- 1:22:56Speaker 2: it's super beautiful. But it was estranged for a while. Yeah.
- 1:22:59Speaker 2: Because I wasn't able to communicate. So now it's beautiful
- 1:23:04Speaker 2: because we communicate. And me going back and forgiving my
- 1:23:07Speaker 2: mother and forgiving myself and things of that nature, you
- 1:23:11Speaker 2: got to realize they didn't know what they was doing.
- 1:23:16Speaker 2: Nobody handed them a pamphlet and said, this is how
- 1:23:18Speaker 2: you rear children. So when they hear shocking news like that,
- 1:23:22Speaker 2: the first thing they do is panic. They don't think
- 1:23:25Speaker 2: to act. But me, I think to act. I don't
- 1:23:28Speaker 2: think to just say, oh, God, that's not how you
- 1:23:32Speaker 2: stop bullying. Fighting solves everything. I teach my children that.
- 1:23:37Speaker 2: Fighting solves everything. Like, I tell my son, like, if
- 1:23:40Speaker 2: you go to school and if somebody say something to you,
- 1:23:43Speaker 2: don't worry about that. But if somebody put their hands
- 1:23:45Speaker 2: on you, you punch them right in their nose and
- 1:23:48Speaker 2: you don't stop. You keep going. When I come to
- 1:23:51Speaker 2: the school, I'm going to be like, I can't believe
- 1:23:52Speaker 2: you did all this bitch ass shit. I swear to God,
- 1:23:55Speaker 2: I'm going to kill your motherfucker. I'm going to do
- 1:23:57Speaker 2: all that. I'm going to make it look good when
- 1:23:58Speaker 2: I get there. Then after that, I'm going to take
- 1:24:00Speaker 2: you and buy you every toy in the store. Because
- 1:24:02Speaker 2: fighting solves everything.
- 1:24:05Speaker 1: You got it. Yeah, you got it.
- 1:24:07Speaker 2: What's that coach at Texas? What did he say? We
- 1:24:11Speaker 2: don't raise no pussies.
- 1:24:13Speaker 1: Who was that?
- 1:24:14Speaker 2: The football guy? Yeah. He said, we don't raise no pussies.
- 1:24:18Speaker 1: He died, didn't he?
- 1:24:20Speaker 2: I forgot the coach name. I just seen that shit
- 1:24:22Speaker 2: one time.
- 1:24:22Speaker 1: Woody Allen. Yeah, Michael Leach.
- 1:24:23Speaker 2: He was like, we don't raise no pussies. Yeah, yeah.
- 1:24:26Speaker 2: But that's just one of my biggest things when I
- 1:24:29Speaker 2: can say the way I parent is different. I don't
- 1:24:33Speaker 2: parent like that. I parent different.
- 1:24:35Speaker 1: Like, will you, like, yeah.
- 1:24:37Speaker 2: I parent like Coach Knight. Yeah? But, yeah, I parent
- 1:24:42Speaker 2: like Coach Knight. I parent like a coach. Okay. My
- 1:24:48Speaker 2: grandfather was like a coach. Like, that tough love, that's
- 1:24:52Speaker 2: how I parent.
- 1:24:54Speaker 1: Yeah, I think people don't realize, like, how they look
- 1:24:55Speaker 1: at their children, too, is important. If you always look
- 1:24:57Speaker 1: at your child with, like, will you go do that
- 1:25:00Speaker 1: or this is wrong or something, then they, that's, they
- 1:25:03Speaker 1: feel like something is always wrong, right? Like, The look
- 1:25:05Speaker 1: you put into your child's eyes, like your child is
- 1:25:08Speaker 1: kind of like a cup and you're like a pitcher.
- 1:25:09Speaker 2: It is accountability going on. Like they have to make
- 1:25:12Speaker 2: their beds. They have to go to school. They have
- 1:25:14Speaker 2: to do these things. And if not, then you can't
- 1:25:16Speaker 2: play the game. Right. You're going to have to take accountability.
- 1:25:18Speaker 2: Like my son and my daughter know. And my daughter,
- 1:25:21Speaker 2: she's not even 13 yet. She came to me and
- 1:25:23Speaker 2: told me, Daddy, is there anything I could help do
- 1:25:27Speaker 2: around the house to make your life more easier? Like
- 1:25:30Speaker 2: one of her choices is you keep the kitchen clean.
- 1:25:32Speaker 2: Still got to make your bed, still got to go
- 1:25:33Speaker 2: to school, but you keep the kitchen clean. My son,
- 1:25:35Speaker 2: you got to make your bed, still got to go
- 1:25:37Speaker 2: to school, but you make sure the trash put out.
- 1:25:40Speaker 2: And I just give them little jobs.
- 1:25:41Speaker 1: Yeah.
- 1:25:42Speaker 2: And then you earn your wages.
- 1:25:45Speaker 3: Yeah.
- 1:25:46Speaker 2: I pay them $ 250 a week.
- 1:25:48Speaker 1: Do you really?
- 1:25:49Speaker 2: $ 250?
- 1:25:49Speaker 1: Yeah. God dang, bro.
- 1:25:53Speaker 2: I pay them $ 250 a week. You want Robux, you
- 1:25:56Speaker 2: want that, you know, I pay them. Wow.
- 1:26:01Speaker 1: But they work. Oh yeah, they could have a Chevy
- 1:26:03Speaker 1: sedan by September. That's a good amount of money.
- 1:26:06Speaker 2: Yeah, my daughter, she like into the furry costumes. They
- 1:26:10Speaker 2: be dressing up like, don't kill me because I don't
- 1:26:14Speaker 2: want to say she real defensive about this. No, dad,
- 1:26:16Speaker 2: it's not. That's what it's called. It's called this. I
- 1:26:19Speaker 2: don't know the name of it, but they dress up
- 1:26:22Speaker 2: like animals. I did it one time with her. Okay.
- 1:26:25Speaker 2: And that was my way of like going into her world.
- 1:26:27Speaker 2: And she was like, I want to post a video
- 1:26:29Speaker 2: that me and you did on TikTok. But I'm scared
- 1:26:32Speaker 2: people are going to hate on it. I said, promise
- 1:26:33Speaker 2: me you're going to do one thing. She said, what?
- 1:26:36Speaker 2: I heard Floyd Mayweather say this. I said, no matter
- 1:26:38Speaker 2: what you do, if you do something good, if you
- 1:26:41Speaker 2: do something bad, if you do something for yourself or
- 1:26:44Speaker 2: you do something for other people, people are going to
- 1:26:46Speaker 2: always have something to say about you. So just promise
- 1:26:49Speaker 2: me that you're going to make yourself happy. Oh, yeah,
- 1:26:51Speaker 2: that's me right there.
- 1:26:52Speaker 1: Which one?
- 1:26:53Speaker 2: I'm about to come in on the furry. Yeah, that's
- 1:26:54Speaker 2: me right there.
- 1:26:55Speaker 1: Look. Kevin, yeah, that's beautiful, man.
- 1:26:58Speaker 2: Ooh.
- 1:26:59Speaker 1: Ooh, wow. And what animal is that?
- 1:27:04Speaker 2: I don't know what I was. I think I was
- 1:27:05Speaker 2: like a little wolf or something.
- 1:27:07Speaker 1: Yeah, that's a damn little Cajun wolf.
- 1:27:09Speaker 2: And then, so she was afraid to post it. But
- 1:27:13Speaker 2: then once she posted it, the shit went viral. Like,
- 1:27:16Speaker 2: because she was already lit in the furry community.
- 1:27:18Speaker 1: Oh, I see what you're saying.
- 1:27:20Speaker 2: I hope I'm saying it right easily if you're watching
- 1:27:22Speaker 2: me don't.
- 1:27:23Speaker 1: Yeah, young lady, we're just trying to. I love you.
- 1:27:25Speaker 1: Your father's just honoring what you guys got going on there.
- 1:27:27Speaker 2: But that was my way of going into her world.
- 1:27:30Speaker 1: Right. And saying, look, I'm proud of what I do.
- 1:27:32Speaker 1: I spend time with my daughter.
- 1:27:33Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah, like.
- 1:27:34Speaker 1: It's important. I'm proud of them.
- 1:27:36Speaker 2: Like, just telling them you love them every day, hugging
- 1:27:39Speaker 2: on them and letting them know, hey, I'm proud of you.
- 1:27:41Speaker 1: Oh, yeah.
- 1:27:42Speaker 2: Like, that reassurance. Oh, dude. They not afraid to make
- 1:27:45Speaker 2: me mad. You know what they afraid to do? Disappoint me.
- 1:27:49Speaker 2: The same way I'm afraid to disappoint God, they afraid
- 1:27:52Speaker 2: to disappoint me.
- 1:27:54Speaker 1: Yeah, that relationship is just so important, man. It's so important,
- 1:27:58Speaker 1: you know, like. Yeah, I remember. I was so angry
- 1:28:03Speaker 1: as a kid, man. I wish I'd had that relationship.
- 1:28:07Speaker 2: I used to get angry. Like if I see somebody
- 1:28:10Speaker 2: spending time with their father playing basketball, I'd be like, bitches.
- 1:28:13Speaker 1: Yeah.
- 1:28:14Speaker 2: Because I wanted it. But now I am that. And
- 1:28:18Speaker 2: then I can't be upset with my real father because
- 1:28:21Speaker 2: we had some beautiful times together.
- 1:28:23Speaker 1: Oh, yeah.
- 1:28:24Speaker 2: We had some beautiful times together. The times we had.
- 1:28:27Speaker 1: Yeah. What was a special time? My mom, I remember
- 1:28:30Speaker 1: one time, so my mom delivered like newspapers and stuff,
- 1:28:32Speaker 1: you know? So one time, I think I got sick.
- 1:28:37Speaker 1: as I couldn't go to school but she had to
- 1:28:39Speaker 1: work and so I got to go on her route
- 1:28:41Speaker 1: with her and she would go and then we took
- 1:28:45Speaker 1: a ride we went out to over by Picayune and
- 1:28:48Speaker 1: we went they had a Wendy's over there and we
- 1:28:49Speaker 1: got a Wendy's sandwich over there and it was like
- 1:28:52Speaker 1: the only time I ever remember doing something just me
- 1:28:54Speaker 1: and my mom but I remember just everything about it
- 1:28:57Speaker 1: how I was sitting what we were doing just We
- 1:29:00Speaker 1: had like a nice day together, you know? But I
- 1:29:03Speaker 1: had to get sick at school to even just, because
- 1:29:06Speaker 1: my mom always had to work. So I'm not like
- 1:29:08Speaker 1: whining about it. It's just like, but I remember that
- 1:29:10Speaker 1: it was important to me, you know?
- 1:29:12Speaker 2: As we get older, sometimes it let us know that
- 1:29:17Speaker 2: the act of love that they had coming from where
- 1:29:19Speaker 2: we come from was them sacrificing time with us to
- 1:29:24Speaker 2: make sure that we had food on the table. Looking
- 1:29:28Speaker 2: at it in hindsight, That's a good point. Make me like, damn, like,
- 1:29:31Speaker 2: I appreciate you more. Like, even my children understand. Like,
- 1:29:34Speaker 2: in October, I'm going on tour. I love y'all, but
- 1:29:38Speaker 2: I got to go do this. But I love y'all. Right.
- 1:29:41Speaker 2: So I spend as much time as I can with y'all,
- 1:29:44Speaker 2: but also I got to go do this in October.
- 1:29:46Speaker 2: But I love y'all.
- 1:29:48Speaker 1: Yeah, for me to have a new perspective instead of, man,
- 1:29:50Speaker 1: I bet my mom didn't want to leave me to
- 1:29:52Speaker 1: go to work. Instead, I'm thinking.
- 1:29:54Speaker 2: What a parent does. Right. Nobody leaves Earth saying, hey,
- 1:29:57Speaker 2: I should have. I wish I could have spent more time.
- 1:30:00Speaker 2: throwing the papers out, delivering the papers. Everybody leave, even
- 1:30:04Speaker 2: the richest business men on earth, they leave and say,
- 1:30:08Speaker 2: I wish I could have spent more time with my family.
- 1:30:10Speaker 2: But it's beautiful because it's about balance. And I don't
- 1:30:13Speaker 2: beat myself up for the time that I'm not there.
- 1:30:16Speaker 2: I understand that they understand because I talk to them.
- 1:30:20Speaker 2: I don't baby talk. I talk to them regular.
- 1:30:23Speaker 1: Yeah, I think that's the biggest thing is communicating what's
- 1:30:25Speaker 1: going on probably, you know. What's different about your tour
- 1:30:30Speaker 1: this time? How do you feel about it? Do you
- 1:30:32Speaker 1: notice that that changes for you as you grow up?
- 1:30:35Speaker 2: What's different about my tour this time?
- 1:30:37Speaker 1: Because in October it starts, yeah?
- 1:30:38Speaker 2: Me. Me. I'm different. I'm not the same person I
- 1:30:45Speaker 2: was last year. I'm better. Okay. Way better. Man, I
- 1:30:53Speaker 2: could go down the list, but I could say one
- 1:30:55Speaker 2: of the biggest things I started giving myself grace. I
- 1:31:00Speaker 2: don't beat myself up no more. I used to beat
- 1:31:04Speaker 2: myself up. Yeah.
- 1:31:06Speaker 1: What would you say, like, in your head, what would
- 1:31:08Speaker 1: that be like, you think?
- 1:31:11Speaker 2: I beat myself up. The way I would beat myself
- 1:31:15Speaker 2: up is I would replay something I did, and it
- 1:31:17Speaker 2: would bring shame until I almost cringe when I think
- 1:31:21Speaker 2: about it. Like, no, man. Players, like, I tell myself, like,
- 1:31:27Speaker 2: excuse me. You probably don't know this. I talk to myself.
- 1:31:31Speaker 2: All geniuses talk to they self. And ever since I
- 1:31:34Speaker 2: read that, it kind of gave me the green light
- 1:31:36Speaker 2: to start talking to myself more. But if I do something,
- 1:31:40Speaker 2: I be like, players fuck up too. Players fuck up too.
- 1:31:44Speaker 1: Players do fuck up.
- 1:31:45Speaker 2: Players fuck up too. And I always tell myself, I'm like,
- 1:31:48Speaker 2: players fuck up too. Learn from your mistakes, don't make
- 1:31:51Speaker 2: them anymore. And I talk to myself. I used to
- 1:31:53Speaker 2: be hard on myself like a coach. Like, hey, bitch.
- 1:31:57Speaker 4: Yeah.
- 1:31:58Speaker 2: But I'm still like a coach in the gym.
- 1:32:00Speaker 1: Get in there, bitch.
- 1:32:01Speaker 2: I'll be like, hey, the weights ain't going to push
- 1:32:04Speaker 2: they self. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? You got
- 1:32:07Speaker 2: enough strength to do that, but you ain't got enough
- 1:32:08Speaker 2: strength to lift a cup and get up and go
- 1:32:10Speaker 2: to the gym. You know what I'm saying? So it's
- 1:32:12Speaker 2: just I'm more like motivational toward myself with that. But
- 1:32:21Speaker 2: if it's a– because, you know, you have moments that
- 1:32:24Speaker 2: might come up from the past and it might just
- 1:32:26Speaker 2: come up in your– and your mental inventory. And then
- 1:32:29Speaker 2: when it come up, instead of running from it.
- 1:32:30Speaker 1: All the time I go like that.
- 1:32:32Speaker 2: Yeah, I do that all the time. And then you
- 1:32:34Speaker 2: know what I start doing? I sit with it. Man,
- 1:32:37Speaker 2: players fuck up too. That shit ain't nothing. You the
- 1:32:40Speaker 2: only one remember that. Don't nobody else even remember that shit.
- 1:32:43Speaker 1: That's crazy.
- 1:32:44Speaker 2: Don't nobody remember that shit.
- 1:32:45Speaker 1: The only thing keeping that messed up moment alive is you.
- 1:32:49Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm giving energy to that bullshit. Man, players fuck
- 1:32:52Speaker 2: up too. Man, I'm flying.
- 1:32:53Speaker 1: Players fuck up too.
- 1:32:54Speaker 2: Players fuck up too, man. I might walk out of
- 1:32:57Speaker 2: here and trip, but I'm going to make, hey, it's
- 1:32:59Speaker 2: going to be a fly. When I trip, I might
- 1:33:01Speaker 2: do a little dance move or something. It's going to
- 1:33:03Speaker 2: be a fly trip when I trip. Ain't nobody trip
- 1:33:06Speaker 2: better than me.
- 1:33:07Speaker 1: Yeah, man. That's a really beautiful little trip.
- 1:33:10Speaker 2: Players fuck up too.
- 1:33:11Speaker 1: Dude, if I see you trip, I'm going to be like, man, players, hey,
- 1:33:14Speaker 1: that's graceful, bro.
- 1:33:15Speaker 2: Players fuck up too. I'm going to laugh at myself.
- 1:33:17Speaker 1: Yeah.
- 1:33:18Speaker 2: I don't care who see me make a mistake. I've
- 1:33:20Speaker 2: been on stage sometime. Make a mistake. Hey, excuse me.
- 1:33:23Speaker 2: I just made a mistake. Hey, the beautiful thing about
- 1:33:25Speaker 2: mistakes is it's okay for people to see you make
- 1:33:27Speaker 2: a mistake. Just don't never let a motherfucker see you quit.
- 1:33:30Speaker 2: You're going to watch me make mistakes, but you ain't
- 1:33:32Speaker 2: going to never watch me quit. Hell yeah. Like I
- 1:33:36Speaker 2: tell people, I still don't get tired. I've been up
- 1:33:41Speaker 2: since 3.30. Oh, yeah.
- 1:33:42Speaker 1: I've heard that in your song, too.
- 1:33:43Speaker 2: Yeah, I still don't get tired. I've been up since
- 1:33:45Speaker 2: like 3.30 this morning. Dang.
- 1:33:47Speaker 1: Bro, I'm fucking fired up all of a sudden.
- 1:33:51Speaker 2: Energy ought to translate to more energy.
- 1:33:54Speaker 1: Is that true?
- 1:33:55Speaker 2: Yeah, like energy translates to more energy. Now, once I
- 1:33:59Speaker 2: go eat my meal, I'm supposed to be having dinner tonight.
- 1:34:05Speaker 2: That's what I had on this soup.
- 1:34:06Speaker 1: Okay, that's nice.
- 1:34:07Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm supposed to be having dinner. But, uh.
- 1:34:12Speaker 2: To me. But, uh....
- 1:34:17Speaker 1: You got a date for dinner or no?
- 1:34:18Speaker 2: I'm supposed to be having dinner, but after I eat
- 1:34:20Speaker 2: that meal, kind of get some good rest.
- 1:34:23Speaker 1: Oh, I love that. I love getting a good rest.
- 1:34:26Speaker 1: Do you have, I want to ask you a couple
- 1:34:28Speaker 1: more things before you go. You have a, you are
- 1:34:31Speaker 1: a religious man.
- 1:34:35Speaker 2: Religious smidges. Yeah. Religious smidges. But yeah, I guess.
- 1:34:42Speaker 1: Or do you feel like, because people say that you're
- 1:34:44Speaker 1: a Muslim man.
- 1:34:45Speaker 2: I'm going to be honest, I'm spiritual. Okay. I'm spiritual.
- 1:34:49Speaker 2: But like the word Muslim in Arabic, it only means believer. Right.
- 1:34:53Speaker 2: So I'm a believer, but I'm very spiritual. Got it.
- 1:34:57Speaker 2: Like I believe spirituality is if I walk in a
- 1:35:01Speaker 2: room and something don't feel right and I leave, something
- 1:35:06Speaker 2: bad happen, I believe I was guided by God to leave.
- 1:35:10Speaker 2: I done been in a club in New York. I'm like,
- 1:35:13Speaker 2: come on, let's go. We go outside. As soon as
- 1:35:15Speaker 2: we go outside, a fight break out. somebody to get shot.
- 1:35:19Speaker 2: But I just felt like it was time to go.
- 1:35:22Speaker 2: And I just always been like that.
- 1:35:24Speaker 1: Why do you think it's so hard for us to
- 1:35:25Speaker 1: step into what we really believe we want? Because when
- 1:35:28Speaker 1: I hear you say that, that's what it hits me as.
- 1:35:30Speaker 2: I've been saying that, though. I say it in my song.
- 1:35:33Speaker 2: I say when Allah said, my new wife will pray
- 1:35:35Speaker 2: together and I'm going to keep her sacred. I say
- 1:35:37Speaker 2: that in the song, so I manifested this. I didn't
- 1:35:40Speaker 2: know it was going to be her.
- 1:35:41Speaker 1: But as men, why do you think it's so hard
- 1:35:43Speaker 1: for a lot of men to just Yeah, it's like, man,
- 1:35:47Speaker 1: I'm just so tired of everything that's not mean something.
- 1:35:51Speaker 2: Because you don't get fulfillment. I done had more holes
- 1:35:54Speaker 2: than clothes. I never got no fulfillment from having a
- 1:35:57Speaker 2: bunch of different women. That shit is stressful. It's vexating
- 1:36:01Speaker 2: to my spirit. It don't give me no fulfillment. A
- 1:36:03Speaker 2: lot of men ain't going to say that. And then
- 1:36:05Speaker 2: I've been on a semen retention journey for the last, what,
- 1:36:08Speaker 2: maybe five years I talked about, like, retaining the life force,
- 1:36:12Speaker 2: retaining the semen, not watching porn, not jacking off. taking
- 1:36:16Speaker 2: that sexual energy and transmuting it into something else. So
- 1:36:20Speaker 2: if I have a craving to go jack off or
- 1:36:23Speaker 2: I'm horny or whatever you want to call it, I
- 1:36:25Speaker 2: go to the gym or I go to the studio,
- 1:36:27Speaker 2: I transmute that energy into something else.
- 1:36:30Speaker 1: And most people that's out here jacking off.
- 1:36:34Speaker 2: And you realize, though, when you see dudes with a
- 1:36:36Speaker 2: lot of women, but them dudes be stressed out. Like,
- 1:36:38Speaker 2: you know what I'm saying? As a man, you're going
- 1:36:40Speaker 2: to see shit that you're going to look, but at
- 1:36:42Speaker 2: the same time, you ain't going to help me on
- 1:36:45Speaker 2: my mission. You're going to take away. You ain't going
- 1:36:48Speaker 2: to add value to me. You're going to take from me.
- 1:36:52Speaker 2: You know, behind closed doors, do you speak life into me?
- 1:36:54Speaker 2: Do you help me become greater? Are you helping me
- 1:36:57Speaker 2: become greater? Like, it don't really be that. And if
- 1:37:01Speaker 2: you are helping me become greater, are you helping me
- 1:37:03Speaker 2: become greater for me? Or are you helping me become
- 1:37:06Speaker 2: greater for you? Are you manipulating me? Are you verbally
- 1:37:10Speaker 2: abusive to me behind closed doors? You know what I'm saying? Like,
- 1:37:13Speaker 2: are you using the My flaws against me. You know,
- 1:37:16Speaker 2: there's a lot of women that'll do that, too. And no,
- 1:37:18Speaker 2: excuse me. I can't say women. It's a lot of
- 1:37:21Speaker 2: people that'll do that.
- 1:37:21Speaker 1: Oh, for sure.
- 1:37:22Speaker 2: Because I done had men do that, too. Like, bring
- 1:37:24Speaker 2: up stuff from the past and try to hold it
- 1:37:27Speaker 2: against me to keep you within whatever kind of energetic
- 1:37:31Speaker 2: construct that they have for you. Because they need your energy.
- 1:37:35Speaker 2: Everybody's life is great, but we suffer. So, that's why
- 1:37:39Speaker 2: I'm mad with it right now. Like.
- 1:37:42Speaker 1: Yeah, that seems to be something that's kind of vexing
- 1:37:44Speaker 1: our community.
- 1:37:45Speaker 2: I wasn't even going to talk about this, but shit,
- 1:37:48Speaker 2: you the one. You got it all.
- 1:37:50Speaker 1: Oh, I wasn't even trying to get anything. I'm just
- 1:37:51Speaker 1: trying to survive.
- 1:37:52Speaker 2: I already know, but it's like this is going to
- 1:37:54Speaker 2: be healing for somebody.
- 1:37:55Speaker 1: Oh, it's healing for me. That's why I'm curious about it.
- 1:37:57Speaker 1: It's like because I'm sick of like, you know, in
- 1:38:00Speaker 1: my own life, but also I'm the one keeping me there.
- 1:38:02Speaker 1: That's the crazy thing. It's like I have the ability
- 1:38:04Speaker 1: to change things, and I do a good job.
- 1:38:06Speaker 2: I say in my song, I'm only excited about spiritual things,
- 1:38:09Speaker 2: and I swear I can't wait to move on. I'm
- 1:38:13Speaker 2: only excited about spiritual things.
- 1:38:15Speaker 1: Yeah, I think I'm just amazed sometimes that, I don't know,
- 1:38:19Speaker 1: but I'm also, you know, I got a late start sometimes.
- 1:38:22Speaker 2: Man.
- 1:38:23Speaker 1: I got a late start.
- 1:38:23Speaker 2: I'm 39. I just look, you know what I'm saying? Oh, yeah.
- 1:38:27Speaker 2: I just don't age. I'm 39, though. So I feel
- 1:38:30Speaker 2: like it's never too late. Yeah. It's never too late.
- 1:38:35Speaker 2: But when you said that about all the women, that
- 1:38:38Speaker 2: shit was draining.
- 1:38:41Speaker 1: Yeah, well, just, I have so many of my friends, like,
- 1:38:43Speaker 1: I'm going on this date, I don't care. Just like, well,
- 1:38:44Speaker 1: what are we doing? And then you have people, it's
- 1:38:47Speaker 1: like you're giving yourself away to people And I'm not
- 1:38:49Speaker 1: accusing anybody. That's what I'm telling you about myself and
- 1:38:51Speaker 1: my own life. And then it's just.
- 1:38:53Speaker 2: Tell me about it.
- 1:38:53Speaker 1: Yeah.
- 1:38:54Speaker 2: Tell me about it.
- 1:38:55Speaker 1: And it's like, what kind of journey am I making?
- 1:38:56Speaker 1: What am I really building here?
- 1:38:58Speaker 2: And in another word, once I started operating and looking
- 1:39:01Speaker 2: for reciprocation, it shouldn't cost anything. If I fuck with you,
- 1:39:07Speaker 2: it shouldn't cost anything. If you fuck with me, it
- 1:39:11Speaker 2: shouldn't cost us anything. It should be reciprocated. The energy
- 1:39:15Speaker 2: that I'm giving you should be reciprocated. If it's not reciprocated,
- 1:39:18Speaker 2: then you're not nobody that I even need to know.
- 1:39:20Speaker 2: And a lot of times, when you look at relationships,
- 1:39:26Speaker 2: I could be somebody's best friend, but they're not my
- 1:39:28Speaker 2: best friend. It's not the energy not being reciprocated. And
- 1:39:33Speaker 2: a lot of people are victims of that, being in
- 1:39:36Speaker 2: relationships that are one-sided. The door don't really swing both ways.
- 1:39:40Speaker 2: It may look like it swing both ways, but it don't.
- 1:39:45Speaker 1: Yeah, it's just a trap, too. I mean, a lot
- 1:39:46Speaker 1: of the sex, the dating, just the pornography, because that's
- 1:39:50Speaker 1: been something I've dealt with, you know?
- 1:39:51Speaker 2: When you stop watching porn, it's going to change everything. Yeah.
- 1:39:55Speaker 2: It's going to change the way you have sex. Once
- 1:39:57Speaker 2: you realize these people acting, this is fake. Yeah. This
- 1:40:00Speaker 2: is not real. This is not a connection. This is bullshit.
- 1:40:04Speaker 2: No disrespect to people that do porn.
- 1:40:06Speaker 1: But they know it. They know it's fake.
- 1:40:08Speaker 2: That's just not my cup of tea. That just ain't no... Like,
- 1:40:12Speaker 2: how a man told me, he was like, You jacking
- 1:40:15Speaker 2: off to another man's success. Like, I ain't fucking that bitch.
- 1:40:19Speaker 1: Dang, that's crazy.
- 1:40:20Speaker 2: God.
- 1:40:21Speaker 1: Oh, my God.
- 1:40:22Speaker 2: I'm jacking off to watching another man's success. I'm not
- 1:40:25Speaker 2: doing this.
- 1:40:26Speaker 1: It is kind of crazy, huh? When you think about that.
- 1:40:28Speaker 2: If you really think about it, it's psychotic in nature.
- 1:40:32Speaker 2: And then you got to hide and sneak to do it. Oh.
- 1:40:35Speaker 2: They got some people probably just go do it publicly, but.
- 1:40:38Speaker 1: I ain't doing that.
- 1:40:38Speaker 2: You got to sneak and do it. Yeah, I sneak
- 1:40:40Speaker 2: and do it. And then under the guise of I'm
- 1:40:42Speaker 2: having me time.
- 1:40:42Speaker 1: Yeah.
- 1:40:43Speaker 2: But then after you do it. You feel guilty.
- 1:40:46Speaker 1: You feel horrible.
- 1:40:47Speaker 2: Like, damn, why I did that? Because that was precious
- 1:40:50Speaker 2: life for us. I just wasted it on somebody else's success.
- 1:40:53Speaker 1: God dang it.
- 1:40:56Speaker 2: Listen, I've been there. I've been there. I know about it,
- 1:40:58Speaker 2: so I've been there.
- 1:40:59Speaker 1: And what was the thing that got you out of that? Like,
- 1:41:01Speaker 1: how'd you able to stop that specifically?
- 1:41:03Speaker 2: I took baby steps. I was like, I'm only going
- 1:41:06Speaker 2: to release on Fridays. Okay.
- 1:41:09Speaker 1: Shabbat shaboom, huh?
- 1:41:10Speaker 2: And I started saying, well, maybe this is my creative energy.
- 1:41:16Speaker 2: When you release your life force, that's your creative energy.
- 1:41:19Speaker 2: So I'm not going to release my creative energy. Like
- 1:41:22Speaker 2: when you boxing, are you preparing for a fight? While
- 1:41:25Speaker 2: I'm working on this album, I ain't going to release
- 1:41:27Speaker 2: no semen. While I'm doing this, I ain't going to release.
- 1:41:29Speaker 2: And I became better and better and better. But it
- 1:41:32Speaker 2: was baby steps. I ain't just start off just saying
- 1:41:34Speaker 2: cold turkey. But by the time it was like, man.
- 1:41:38Speaker 1: Semen has babies in it, which is crazy. And you
- 1:41:41Speaker 1: taking baby steps.
- 1:41:42Speaker 2: If I ain't getting no pussy, then that's wrong. If
- 1:41:46Speaker 2: I ain't get no pussy shit, I ain't no shit.
- 1:41:48Speaker 1: Yeah, what am I doing?
- 1:41:49Speaker 2: I can wait.
- 1:41:50Speaker 1: Yeah, I can wait. That's the thing. It's just that
- 1:41:52Speaker 1: relationship with yourself, you know, and having conversations with yourself. Like,
- 1:41:56Speaker 1: what am I doing? What would I really like to do?
- 1:41:59Speaker 1: And then how do I get through this?
- 1:42:00Speaker 2: You respect yourself different.
- 1:42:01Speaker 1: Yeah, your integrity changes a lot.
- 1:42:02Speaker 2: Like, I respect myself different now that I don't even
- 1:42:05Speaker 2: play around like that.
- 1:42:06Speaker 1: Yeah.
- 1:42:06Speaker 2: I respect myself different now.
- 1:42:08Speaker 1: And when you show up, people can see. Here's the
- 1:42:10Speaker 1: funny thing. People can see you. The integrity you have
- 1:42:13Speaker 1: for yourself.
- 1:42:13Speaker 2: You know what people tell me? They say your aura
- 1:42:16Speaker 2: is big. I'm like, I don't know why. And they
- 1:42:21Speaker 2: were like, what kind of practices do you do? I said,
- 1:42:23Speaker 2: I practice semen retention. Yeah. It's my precious life force.
- 1:42:27Speaker 2: And they was like, that's what it is. You have
- 1:42:30Speaker 2: a glow. That's bad. Yeah.
- 1:42:33Speaker 1: I said, semen, damn.
- 1:42:35Speaker 2: It's your life force. Oh, yeah.
- 1:42:37Speaker 1: It's everything you are. It's your truth. It's your script. Yeah.
- 1:42:41Speaker 1: And it's not even your script, it's a script of
- 1:42:43Speaker 1: all your ancestors.
- 1:42:44Speaker 2: Just wasting it in a sock.
- 1:42:46Speaker 1: Yeah, you blasting it out here in a dang church
- 1:42:49Speaker 1: sock too at times, God.
- 1:42:51Speaker 2: Oh my God. I forgive myself.
- 1:42:54Speaker 1: Yeah, you right, man. Because sometimes I'll have that shame feeling.
- 1:42:57Speaker 2: All the misfires, I forgive myself. Yeah. We learn from
- 1:43:01Speaker 2: our mistakes, we move on. But somebody needed to hear this.
- 1:43:06Speaker 1: No, I think somebody did today. And I think, you
- 1:43:07Speaker 1: know what, I think it's like, We need more leaders
- 1:43:10Speaker 1: in the community to say things like that. We have
- 1:43:13Speaker 1: to get, I don't know, we got to do something
- 1:43:15Speaker 1: has to start to be different, I feel like.
- 1:43:17Speaker 2: The greatest teachers teach without teaching.
- 1:43:20Speaker 1: Yeah, you're right.
- 1:43:21Speaker 2: The greatest teachers teach without teaching. So when the student
- 1:43:24Speaker 2: is ready to learn, the teacher will appeal. You'll be
- 1:43:27Speaker 2: amazed what wisdom could come from. Yeah. Even the homeless
- 1:43:30Speaker 2: person standing on the street corner, it smelled bad. The
- 1:43:34Speaker 2: person that you would be afraid of, the person that
- 1:43:36Speaker 2: you would look down upon, one of those people. the
- 1:43:39Speaker 2: wisdom and the knowledge that they can impute, you would
- 1:43:42Speaker 2: be amazed.
- 1:43:45Speaker 1: Oh, yeah, they got bars over there.
- 1:43:47Speaker 2: I don't care what you do with the money. I
- 1:43:50Speaker 2: committed to act a given. He's just going to buy
- 1:43:52Speaker 2: drugs with it. I committed to act a given. Whatever
- 1:43:54Speaker 2: he do, that's his choice. Now, one lady made me mad, though,
- 1:43:57Speaker 2: because she was holding a sign talking about she had
- 1:44:00Speaker 2: worked for food, and I gave her a sandwich, and
- 1:44:02Speaker 2: she put it in her book set. And then I said,
- 1:44:05Speaker 2: you know what? Maybe she had children to go feed
- 1:44:10Speaker 2: But I don't know.
- 1:44:11Speaker 1: Yeah. What do you think? Is she going to sell
- 1:44:13Speaker 1: it or something?
- 1:44:14Speaker 2: Maybe you had children to go feed or something. So
- 1:44:17Speaker 2: I was like, I did overreact because I got pissed off.
- 1:44:19Speaker 1: Kevin, not everybody eats immediately when you serve them.
- 1:44:22Speaker 2: I mean, you know, maybe she was saving it for later.
- 1:44:24Speaker 2: I don't know.
- 1:44:25Speaker 1: Yeah. Maybe she got baby birds in a nest or something.
- 1:44:27Speaker 2: I don't know. Maybe she got saving it for her
- 1:44:29Speaker 2: kids or something. And I just said, you know what?
- 1:44:31Speaker 2: I ain't tripping. Whatever you do with it is on you.
- 1:44:33Speaker 2: I committed an act of giving.
- 1:44:35Speaker 1: Probably so, Kevin. I bet. Yeah, I think she probably
- 1:44:38Speaker 1: was doing something nice, hopefully.
- 1:44:40Speaker 2: I hope so.
- 1:44:41Speaker 1: Yeah, I bet she was.
- 1:44:42Speaker 2: I hope you didn't take advantage of me. But if
- 1:44:45Speaker 2: you did, that's your carmatic bag.
- 1:44:46Speaker 1: Right, I did what I did.
- 1:44:47Speaker 2: I did the right thing.
- 1:44:48Speaker 1: Right, I did what I did. Yeah, kind of like, man,
- 1:44:50Speaker 1: I think one interesting thing is like, yeah, we got
- 1:44:55Speaker 1: to have leaders making things cool, you know? I think
- 1:44:59Speaker 1: it's why it's one, to me, and this might be,
- 1:45:02Speaker 1: I guess I'm afraid to say this probably because it's probably.
- 1:45:06Speaker 2: Ready, set, go.
- 1:45:07Speaker 1: I think it's cool to have a black man say
- 1:45:10Speaker 1: something about that because black people notoriously, I feel like,
- 1:45:13Speaker 1: make things cool, right? Like people go to the black
- 1:45:16Speaker 1: community to make something cool. Like you give a metal
- 1:45:19Speaker 1: plate to somebody in a black community, the next thing
- 1:45:21Speaker 1: they got a rim out of it. You know what
- 1:45:23Speaker 1: I'm saying? They make things cool. So I think to hear.
- 1:45:25Speaker 2: A black guy. Creativity thrives in the darkness. Okay. Well said.
- 1:45:30Speaker 2: You didn't say anything wrong. Okay.
- 1:45:32Speaker 1: So I think to hear a black guy say that
- 1:45:34Speaker 1: to act certain ways, I think that makes it cool
- 1:45:38Speaker 1: because we all take, I feel like a lot of
- 1:45:40Speaker 1: culture comes from, what's cool comes from the black community.
- 1:45:45Speaker 2: Creativity thrives in the darkness. So you're not saying nothing wrong. Okay.
- 1:45:49Speaker 1: Yeah, I think it's, yeah, it makes it cool, you know,
- 1:45:53Speaker 1: and we need things that, like, I think have moral
- 1:45:56Speaker 1: value and integrity to be cool.
- 1:45:58Speaker 2: Like, I watch anime because they have more moralistic value
- 1:46:03Speaker 2: than regular movies.
- 1:46:05Speaker 1: Yeah.
- 1:46:06Speaker 2: So I watch a lot of anime.
- 1:46:08Speaker 1: I don't watch a lot of it. Israel Adesanya watches
- 1:46:10Speaker 1: a lot of it. You know who he is, the
- 1:46:12Speaker 1: UFC fighter?
- 1:46:13Speaker 2: The last style bender.
- 1:46:14Speaker 1: Yeah, he's incredible, dude.
- 1:46:15Speaker 2: The last style bender, yeah.
- 1:46:18Speaker 1: You and him would be such a neat. I mean,
- 1:46:20Speaker 1: you guys are both humans, so whatever. I don't know
- 1:46:23Speaker 1: what I'm talking about. I'm trying to think of anything
- 1:46:26Speaker 1: else we want to talk about. You have a new
- 1:46:27Speaker 1: tour coming up.
- 1:46:28Speaker 2: Yeah, a new tour coming up. I got coffee.
- 1:46:31Speaker 1: You had a new album that came out on my birthday,
- 1:46:33Speaker 1: I think, March 19th or something. You had one come out?
- 1:46:36Speaker 1: I'm him too.
- 1:46:37Speaker 2: I'm him too.
- 1:46:37Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm trying to think, is there anything else that
- 1:46:40Speaker 1: you wanted to talk about today?
- 1:46:43Speaker 2: If anybody watched this and they gained any insight, I'm
- 1:46:50Speaker 2: grateful for that. If you didn't gain any insight, I
- 1:46:54Speaker 2: could give a fuck less. That's fair. That's it, that's all.
- 1:47:00Speaker 1: That's it, that's all.
- 1:47:01Speaker 2: Whenever I drop an album, I'm like, get it. If
- 1:47:04Speaker 2: you want to get it, if you don't, don't get it. Like,
- 1:47:07Speaker 2: I'm not here to force you. If you want to
- 1:47:09Speaker 2: get it, if you don't want to get it, don't
- 1:47:11Speaker 2: get it. It's already going to do what it's going
- 1:47:12Speaker 2: to do. Yeah. I didn't do, I can say this,
- 1:47:16Speaker 2: this album that I put out, this last one, I
- 1:47:20Speaker 2: was proud of it. Usually I'm upset when a project
- 1:47:25Speaker 2: come out, I'm like, I wasn't happy at this and
- 1:47:28Speaker 2: this and that whenever a release. But this time I
- 1:47:31Speaker 2: was like, I celebrated myself the whole way through. And
- 1:47:34Speaker 2: I was like, man, I love this project. Like, out
- 1:47:37Speaker 2: of my other projects, I go back and appreciate them
- 1:47:39Speaker 2: after the next one come out. But not this one.
- 1:47:41Speaker 2: I'm like, nah, I fuck with this one all the
- 1:47:43Speaker 2: way through.
- 1:47:44Speaker 1: Why do you think that was?
- 1:47:45Speaker 2: Because I'm in a different space. Like, I don't make
- 1:47:49Speaker 2: depression music anymore. And then if I do make depression music,
- 1:47:54Speaker 2: I'm just venting. It's my therapeutic release. I got it
- 1:47:57Speaker 2: all out. I know there's somebody out there that can
- 1:48:00Speaker 2: relate to what I'm going through, but this is how
- 1:48:02Speaker 2: we combat that. It's onward and upward. That's it. That's all.
- 1:48:06Speaker 2: I don't stay stuck in a sunken place. Nah.
- 1:48:09Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't stay stuck in a sunken place. I
- 1:48:12Speaker 1: don't stay stuck in a sunken place. Amen.
- 1:48:14Speaker 2: I'm going to snap out of it quick. That's it.
- 1:48:16Speaker 1: Nothing changes. changes if nothing changes, they say.
- 1:48:21Speaker 2: Nothing changes if nothing changes. Yes, sir.
- 1:48:24Speaker 1: Kevin Gates, man, the pride of Louisiana. Thank you so much, man,
- 1:48:28Speaker 1: for spending time with me today, man. It's a blessing.
- 1:48:30Speaker 1: I really appreciate it.
- 1:48:31Speaker 2: Thank you for having me. And I just want to
- 1:48:33Speaker 2: tell you this sincerely. I mean it sincerely. Thank you
- 1:48:36Speaker 2: for being you. This was like the most different. type
- 1:48:40Speaker 2: of interview, podcast, whatever you want to call it. It
- 1:48:43Speaker 2: was just like, we was just talking shit. But it
- 1:48:47Speaker 2: was beautiful because not too many people could see me,
- 1:48:52Speaker 2: like really see me. Yeah. And I just appreciate you
- 1:48:55Speaker 2: for that. Usually when I go places, I have to
- 1:48:57Speaker 2: meet the person at the level of the person. I
- 1:49:00Speaker 2: had to see where they at and just, but with this,
- 1:49:03Speaker 2: it was like the transparency was beautiful. It was refreshing
- 1:49:07Speaker 2: talking to you. Like I lost track of time. If
- 1:49:09Speaker 2: you ever watch when I go other places, I have
- 1:49:12Speaker 2: to meet the person at the level they at. And
- 1:49:15Speaker 2: I hate what I'm about to say, but it's the truth.
- 1:49:17Speaker 2: I look at my watch to keep time. I didn't
- 1:49:19Speaker 2: do that one time, though, because it was refreshing. It
- 1:49:23Speaker 2: was refreshing.
- 1:49:24Speaker 1: Well, I appreciate you sharing yourself with the world, sharing
- 1:49:26Speaker 1: what's going on in your head and your spirit with
- 1:49:28Speaker 1: the world, man. It's been some of the things you
- 1:49:30Speaker 1: say make me think, and I appreciate that. Because I
- 1:49:33Speaker 1: think me taking time to think is more important than...
- 1:49:38Speaker 1: than I knew it needed to be for myself. Yeah.
- 1:49:43Speaker 1: So thank you very much, Mr. Gates.
- 1:49:45Speaker 2: Thank you for having me.
- 1:49:46Speaker 3: Now I'm just floating on the breeze And I feel
- 1:49:50Speaker 3: I'm falling like these leaves I must be cornerstone Oh,
- 1:49:58Speaker 3: but when I reach that ground I'll share this peace
- 1:50:01Speaker 3: of mind I found I can feel it in my
- 1:50:05Speaker 3: bones
- 1:50:08Speaker 2: Amen.