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Are You Making Leadership Mistakes that Hold You Back? · Business Roundtable

• 0:01
  Speaker 1: Hello everybody, and welcome to the Business Roundtable podcast. We
• 0:04
  Speaker 1: have a couple of returning Roundtable members. I am your host,
• 0:09
  Speaker 1: David Carr of Stewart your Business. If you've not listened
• 0:12
  Speaker 1: to this for the first time for some reason. My
• 0:14
  Speaker 1: focus on Steward Your Business is helping organizations, business owners,
• 0:18
  Speaker 1: team leaders bring their team together through organizational health, knowing
• 0:21
  Speaker 1: themselves well to lead themselves, and we're going to talk
• 0:23
  Speaker 1: a little bit about that in the podcast today. Thank
• 0:27
  Speaker 1: you Charlie Chen coming back. I wanted to do a
• 0:30
  Speaker 1: brief introduction just for those that may have not heard
• 0:33
  Speaker 1: in a while, and just to share a background briefly
• 0:36
  Speaker 1: for our listeners.
• 0:38
  Speaker 2: For sure. Thank you for having me again. David. I'm
• 0:41
  Speaker 2: glad I haven't what do you call it outstayed my welcome.
• 0:46
  Speaker 1: Yeah, you've been consistent. You've been on the last few episodes,
• 0:48
  Speaker 1: so we're glad to have you back.
• 0:50
  Speaker 2: Charlie, Thank you, thank you, and it's my pleasure. So
• 0:55
  Speaker 2: my name is Charlie Chen, almost like the detective Charlie
• 0:58
  Speaker 2: chan Off by one letter for the other folks, and
• 1:02
  Speaker 2: I I am the chief experience officer over at Intellisis.
• 1:06
  Speaker 2: We do cybersecurity for small to mid sized businesses, and
• 1:10
  Speaker 2: our action statement is to always deliver well. So basically
• 1:17
  Speaker 2: we're committed to delivering that world class customer hospitality, customer
• 1:22
  Speaker 2: experience that you don't typically see with the I T industry,
• 1:28
  Speaker 2: and so just delivering that peace of mind while having
• 1:34
  Speaker 2: that amazing experience.
• 1:36
  Speaker 1: Yeah, absolutely is that. Go guide that back. And Bill,
• 1:39
  Speaker 1: we've we've lost had you been traveling and whatnot, So
• 1:42
  Speaker 1: we're really glad to have you back.
• 1:44
  Speaker 3: Oh, I'm glad to be back.
• 1:46
  Speaker 1: Yeah. And Bill, I know you're doing a lot of
• 1:49
  Speaker 1: things too. R I know you've been working on a book.
• 1:52
  Speaker 1: You've been tell tell us what you've been up to,
• 1:53
  Speaker 1: what what what built? What is building?
• 1:56
  Speaker 3: There are I had to stop myself and go, okay,
• 2:00
  Speaker 3: how many jobs am I trying to complete in in weekend.
• 2:04
  Speaker 1: With week out?
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  Speaker 3: And I came up with seven?
• 2:06
  Speaker 1: Oh wow, So.
• 2:09
  Speaker 3: But but yeah, I am well. I am working on
• 2:14
  Speaker 3: a series of books on leadership, on a particular style
• 2:18
  Speaker 3: of leadership I call ethical leadership, which follows eight actionable
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  Speaker 3: sorry nine actionable behaviors. It used to be eight, but
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  Speaker 3: I realized that there was a ninth. Okay, and yeah,
• 2:32
  Speaker 3: don't tell, don't tell mo.
• 2:36
  Speaker 1: I know we talked about that.
• 2:37
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know, I know. I think I've
• 2:43
  Speaker 3: got it. I think I've got it figured out for me.
• 2:45
  Speaker 3: So but but yeah, and uh and so uh so
• 2:50
  Speaker 3: I'm working on that. I'm working on my Master's of
• 2:53
  Speaker 3: Divinity in Marketplace Ministry, which which is focused on on
• 2:59
  Speaker 3: the market place. I mean, it's really pretty self explanatory. Yeah,
• 3:03
  Speaker 3: so it works really well with my with my business background,
• 3:07
  Speaker 3: which which has a focus in leadership. And I've actually
• 3:12
  Speaker 3: decided that I'm going to continue on and get a
• 3:15
  Speaker 3: doctor in strategic leadership after after I'm done with a
• 3:18
  Speaker 3: master's degree and and.
• 3:21
  Speaker 1: Continue all right on. We'll have another doctor on the podcast.
• 3:26
  Speaker 1: We'll have another doctor yo, doc C and we're gonna
• 3:30
  Speaker 1: have doc doc age here. Looking forward to that. Well, hey, guys,
• 3:37
  Speaker 1: I thought it would be interesting. I came off just
• 3:41
  Speaker 1: recently last week. I was gone on actually a cruise
• 3:44
  Speaker 1: which is a lot of fun, but with Giant Worldwide,
• 3:46
  Speaker 1: which you guys know I've talked about before in one
• 3:50
  Speaker 1: of the conversations that came out of that event, helping
• 3:56
  Speaker 1: us me be a better business owner, be a got
• 3:59
  Speaker 1: better guy, I be a better coach was this concept
• 4:02
  Speaker 1: of what are the rules you live by? Specifically, what
• 4:06
  Speaker 1: are the prohibitions and the inhibitions that you live by,
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  Speaker 1: whether consciously or unconsciously, And so I thought maybe we
• 4:14
  Speaker 1: can talk about that. I'd love to get your input
• 4:16
  Speaker 1: as a leader. You know, we're just talking about leadership
• 4:19
  Speaker 1: for yourself and for your team, Bill, how do you
• 4:22
  Speaker 1: do that in business successfully? How do you identify those
• 4:26
  Speaker 1: things and not have them affect you negatively? And so
• 4:32
  Speaker 1: that's really where I want to go in this episode
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  Speaker 1: today is really looking at this theme of internal inhibitions
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  Speaker 1: and external prohibitions, if you will, and then how can
• 4:43
  Speaker 1: we how can we use those to help shape our businesses,
• 4:48
  Speaker 1: help grow our team? And I may throw in some
• 4:52
  Speaker 1: of the five voices framework from trying, because that's what
• 4:54
  Speaker 1: I love. But I want to hear from you guys
• 4:56
  Speaker 1: two of maybe some different ways of looking at it.
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  Speaker 1: And so some of the things I want to dig
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  Speaker 1: into with you guys is how how do you how
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  Speaker 1: do you how do yourself impost inhibitions perhaps limit your
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  Speaker 1: leadership or decision making. Perhaps what perhaps external prohibitions shape
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  Speaker 1: your leadership behaviors or that within your organization and then
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  Speaker 1: what again, what can we do as business owners and
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  Speaker 1: leaders to break free of those things that are not
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  Speaker 1: serving us? So that's that's the that's where we're going.
• 5:30
  Speaker 1: Appreciate all of you guys listening in or following us
• 5:33
  Speaker 1: along on YouTube or your favorite podcast platform. And we
• 5:37
  Speaker 1: always love comments feedback to all of our episodes. So
• 5:41
  Speaker 1: we hope as you're listening and watching this, you guys
• 5:44
  Speaker 1: are gonna get a lot of benefit from hearing from
• 5:45
  Speaker 1: Charlie and Bill and myself as we kind of wrestle
• 5:48
  Speaker 1: through these identifying and defining what these inhibitions and prohibitions
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  Speaker 1: are for us. So I'll just start first with defining
• 5:56
  Speaker 1: what I define an inhibition from and then I'll come
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  Speaker 1: to you Bill and then Charlie. But I look at
• 6:03
  Speaker 1: the inhibition is really internal limitations or beliefs that I
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  Speaker 1: impose on myself. It's not coming externally. It's something that
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  Speaker 1: I've chosen again, consciously or unconsciously. It could come from fear,
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  Speaker 1: past experiences, maybe the need for validation. So for example,
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  Speaker 1: you know, a business owner maybe holding themselves back for
• 6:30
  Speaker 1: pursuing growth due to a fear of failure, like I
• 6:33
  Speaker 1: don't want to lose and so there's some inhibitions there.
• 6:36
  Speaker 1: So I'm just going to start with that inhibition and
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  Speaker 1: I want to come to you, lil and get just
• 6:40
  Speaker 1: get your take on just defining and wrapping your arms
• 6:44
  Speaker 1: around the word inhibition and and yeah, what were your
• 6:48
  Speaker 1: thoughts there, well, one of.
• 6:52
  Speaker 3: The one of the thoughts I had on on inhibitions
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  Speaker 3: and it and it works well with the with you
• 6:59
  Speaker 3: saying that it's an internal like an internal mechanism is uh,
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  Speaker 3: is well a part a portion of ethics, specifically egoism,
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  Speaker 3: which is doing what you feel is best at the time,
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  Speaker 3: and which I actually use that definition to destroy an
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  Speaker 3: ethics class in my undergrad completely using it to to
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  Speaker 3: disprove the existence of ethics beyond egoism, well beyond enlightened egoism,
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  Speaker 3: which would be that once once the egoist realizes that
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  Speaker 3: the that the concerns and needs of others are their
• 7:40
  Speaker 3: own concerns and uh, and the old the old saying
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  Speaker 3: that a rising tide has the ability to lift lift
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  Speaker 3: all boats. But but yeah, and that you know, once
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  Speaker 3: you once you decide on these things, you're kind of
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  Speaker 3: you're kind of a little stuck with them a bit,
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  Speaker 3: you know, you can always get out of them. But
• 8:03
  Speaker 3: it's it's you've got to break it down. You've got
• 8:06
  Speaker 3: to uh, you've got to work your way out of
• 8:10
  Speaker 3: out of these uh self beliefs. Now, they can include
• 8:14
  Speaker 3: beliefs from a wide variety of systems, whether they be
• 8:19
  Speaker 3: humanists or or religious or or.
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  Speaker 1: What have you.
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  Speaker 3: You know, but but they are all that It all
• 8:26
  Speaker 3: boils down to what you believe is right at the
• 8:29
  Speaker 3: time that you're doing it. And uh, and those are
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  Speaker 3: all that's all coming from the back of your head,
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  Speaker 3: from your history, from from your from your experiences and
• 8:42
  Speaker 3: uh and training and and uh and what all else.
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  Speaker 3: But but yeah, and uh and that you need to
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  Speaker 3: that if those beliefs aren't serving your best interests, which
• 8:54
  Speaker 3: is where what internal beliefs are concerned about, then you
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  Speaker 3: need to figure out way to get rid of them.
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  Speaker 2: Yeah.
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  Speaker 1: Yeah, we're gonna get We're gonna get into that. I
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  Speaker 1: want to that definitely want to.
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  Speaker 3: How about that's really how I'm looking at the at
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  Speaker 3: the inhibitions.
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  Speaker 1: Yeah, we're gonna definitely I want to. We're going to
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  Speaker 1: get into the next segment. We'll talk a little bit
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  Speaker 1: more about identifying some of these current ones and then
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  Speaker 1: get to like some practical application about how you guys
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  Speaker 1: have overcome inhibitions. But Charlie, about what for you? You know,
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  Speaker 1: when I say the word inhibition, I think what what's
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  Speaker 1: your what's your initial response, what's your initial take on that?
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  Speaker 2: Yeah, first up is just awareness, right, because like you
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  Speaker 2: had talked about, uh, whether consciously or subconsciously, and more
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  Speaker 2: often than not it's subconscious. We've we've got this habitual
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  Speaker 2: pattern that's already set and it's almost like the script
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  Speaker 2: of the script of our lives that's running the show.
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  Speaker 2: And it's just the same storyline that keeps playing out
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  Speaker 2: over and over again. And so that's the inhibitions that
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  Speaker 2: are are there, like the story stories and meanings and
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  Speaker 2: and like you said, maybe disempowering beliefs that we've just
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  Speaker 2: wound up like hanging on too without realizing it. That
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  Speaker 2: dictates how life shows up and how how we show
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  Speaker 2: up for ourselves, how other people show up for us.
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  Speaker 2: And so there's that everybody has that filter and just
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  Speaker 2: just part of you know, the phenomenon of being a
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  Speaker 2: human being. We're automatic, meaning making machines everything that happens
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  Speaker 2: or doesn't, everything that's said or not said there's a
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  Speaker 2: meaning that gets attached to everything automatically. We don't have to,
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  Speaker 2: you know, think about that, and so it actually takes
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  Speaker 2: awareness and conscious effort and introspection to examine those.
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  Speaker 1: Yeah, so I'm going to throw up a little visual
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  Speaker 1: here for you guys as we talk about the other part.
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  Speaker 1: So inhibition is like as you see in this picture.
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  Speaker 1: For those of you that are listening, you're gonna go
• 11:09
  Speaker 1: watch us on YouTube or catch us on our on
• 11:11
  Speaker 1: our LinkedIn broadcast, but you'll see the question marks are
• 11:16
  Speaker 1: all in the head, like you said, making a meaning, Charlie.
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  Speaker 1: And then prohibition are those enforced restrictions. So prohibitions, I
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  Speaker 1: think are a lot easier to identify because you have
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  Speaker 1: to know it's actually something that's really like the speed limit, right,
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  Speaker 1: we know the speed when we know when we're in
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  Speaker 1: violation of it, when we know when we're abiding by prohibitions.
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  Speaker 1: Are these external rules or expectations exposed by culture. Now,
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  Speaker 1: they could be unwritten, but oftentimes it's pretty clear this
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  Speaker 1: is an enforced restriction. So if it's enforced, it has
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  Speaker 1: to be documented some some way, or there's no way
• 11:51
  Speaker 1: to enforce it. Right. So that's what I'm looking when
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  Speaker 1: I'm saying prohibition, we have you know, you really said, hey,
• 12:01
  Speaker 1: we're going to define you know, put this limitation in place,
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  Speaker 1: so this can this can be good and this can
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  Speaker 1: be bad. It just depends. And I'll give you an
• 12:12
  Speaker 1: example of like an organization that maybe prioritizes consensus building, like, hey,
• 12:18
  Speaker 1: we want to bring everybody to the table. We want
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  Speaker 1: to make sure already gets heard. Which if if if
• 12:24
  Speaker 1: that's the if, that's the the the the that's kind
• 12:31
  Speaker 1: of the mandate. Hey, that's the that's what we do.
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  Speaker 1: If you don't do consensus building, you know, if they
• 12:37
  Speaker 1: say that, then that could that could affect the big
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  Speaker 1: the company, the business and their ability to make decisive
• 12:45
  Speaker 1: action or how they can innovate because they say, well,
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  Speaker 1: that's prohibited. You cannot just make a decision by yourself.
• 12:51
  Speaker 1: It must be have consensus. Again, could work in both ways,
• 12:55
  Speaker 1: but that tied then with inhibition. If you're not a
• 13:00
  Speaker 1: where like you're saying, Charlie, inhibitions and these prohibitions work together,
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  Speaker 1: and then it's potential that these internal limitations combined with
• 13:10
  Speaker 1: these external limitations may may make them feel even more confining.
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  Speaker 1: So you know, if you're I'm gonna use the pioneer
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  Speaker 1: voice for those of you aren't familiar with the five choices,
• 13:20
  Speaker 1: but the piner voice is very bunch of a visionary
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  Speaker 1: and if they have to be confined to you must
• 13:25
  Speaker 1: have a consensus every time to get things done, that's
• 13:28
  Speaker 1: going to be really challenging for them, you know, to
• 13:32
  Speaker 1: be successful. So going back to you, Charlie, and come
• 13:36
  Speaker 1: back to the bill here, just briefly thoughts on prohibitions
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  Speaker 1: as a contrast inhibition Charlie.
• 13:44
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean when it comes to prohibition, there's there's
• 13:47
  Speaker 2: either the stick or their carrot. Right. So typically so
• 13:53
  Speaker 2: stick meaning like law and order, right, like like punishment
• 13:58
  Speaker 2: or or playing hard ball or bad cop. Right. So
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  Speaker 2: if you do this, you get this right up, and
• 14:04
  Speaker 2: you get this many write ups, you're out three strikes
• 14:07
  Speaker 2: and you're out right. So there's I would say definitely
• 14:13
  Speaker 2: cases where that would be useful, like if there's dishonesty,
• 14:18
  Speaker 2: things that violate the basis of trust, right. So, and
• 14:24
  Speaker 2: then there's a lot of gray areas where you would
• 14:27
  Speaker 2: want to use the carrot, which is incentivizing the right behavior.
• 14:33
  Speaker 2: And so we do have a customer Bill of Rights
• 14:38
  Speaker 2: that we've created. It's called the Intellis's Way, and so
• 14:41
  Speaker 2: we have a never and always list on there. So
• 14:44
  Speaker 2: in a sense, the never is our inhibition I mean, sorry,
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  Speaker 2: our prohibition list. But we're not like writing people up
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  Speaker 2: if they wind up accidentally saying, you know, no problem
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  Speaker 2: as opposed to my pleasure or you're welcome, you know.
• 15:00
  Speaker 2: So it's just one of those things of reminding, right,
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  Speaker 2: because people need to be reminded more than they need
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  Speaker 2: to be instructed a lot of the times.
• 15:09
  Speaker 1: And so I got a question for you, and then
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  Speaker 1: I'm like, I'm ring it the bill. But would you say,
• 15:16
  Speaker 1: just to compare the two, would you say there are
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  Speaker 1: more prohibitions or more inhibitions that people face on a
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  Speaker 1: day to day basis.
• 15:25
  Speaker 2: I would say there's a lot more inhibition because I
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  Speaker 2: think of it like an iceberg, Like the inhibition part
• 15:32
  Speaker 2: is the part under the water level and because the
• 15:39
  Speaker 2: subconscious is way more expansive than the conscious mind, and
• 15:44
  Speaker 2: the prohibition is the part above the water that everybody
• 15:48
  Speaker 2: can see and for the most part agree on. Yeah,
• 15:51
  Speaker 2: So that's the challenge, is you know, being able to
• 15:54
  Speaker 2: identify the inhibition so that you can actually have a say,
• 15:59
  Speaker 2: so in a tie around it how you want to operate.
• 16:04
  Speaker 1: Right, So I want to go to Bill just briefly, Bill,
• 16:08
  Speaker 1: if you can just hit hit contrasting these two and
• 16:11
  Speaker 1: then I want to get into some like really identifying
• 16:14
  Speaker 1: both inhibitions and prohibitions in action, get more specific in business.
• 16:18
  Speaker 1: But Bill, what's your thoughts there?
• 16:21
  Speaker 3: Sitting with my with my ethical framework? I would say
• 16:27
  Speaker 3: the prohibitions would be the things that come from the
• 16:31
  Speaker 3: the ethical systems that people attached to, whether it's you know,
• 16:36
  Speaker 3: I mean, religion's the the easy one because there are
• 16:40
  Speaker 3: great examples, especially of things that are written down, you know,
• 16:44
  Speaker 3: don't don't kill, don't steal, don't lie, those kinds of things,
• 16:48
  Speaker 3: the big ten and you know that and all the
• 16:53
  Speaker 3: little ones that you know that these are things that
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  Speaker 3: that that, like Charlie was saying, that most people agree on,
• 17:05
  Speaker 3: you know, I mean, murder is an easy one across
• 17:07
  Speaker 3: most cultures. Yeah, you know, it's it's a prohibition, it's
• 17:11
  Speaker 3: written down, it's agreed upon for for ninety nine percent
• 17:17
  Speaker 3: of the people, and uh, and that's uh, and that's
• 17:20
  Speaker 3: what it's.
• 17:21
  Speaker 1: Going to be.
• 17:22
  Speaker 3: I would I would also agree with the with Charlie
• 17:25
  Speaker 3: that that the inhibition, I think is the is what
• 17:29
  Speaker 3: we deal with more frequently on a day to day basis,
• 17:34
  Speaker 3: because those are things that that we put on ourselves
• 17:38
  Speaker 3: and no no ethical system can can say can speak
• 17:47
  Speaker 3: to every situation that's going to come up. You know,
• 17:51
  Speaker 3: the Bible doesn't mentioned tractors or grocery stores, so you know,
• 17:57
  Speaker 3: but we create these inhibitions that uh, that that we
• 18:02
  Speaker 3: we used to to bring ourselves through our daily lives,
• 18:09
  Speaker 3: and uh, you know, sometimes they're bad and sometimes they're not. Again,
• 18:14
  Speaker 3: I was thinking about something Charlie had said a long
• 18:17
  Speaker 3: time ago about uh, how boundaries are actually or can
• 18:23
  Speaker 3: actually be freeing and uh, you know, and so so
• 18:28
  Speaker 3: inhibitions aren't necessarily bad.
• 18:30
  Speaker 1: Things, right right, So I guess that's that leads me
• 18:34
  Speaker 1: in and Bill come back here to you and then
• 18:35
  Speaker 1: coming to Charlie. But I want to I want to
• 18:37
  Speaker 1: get some since we I think we've establic clearly established
• 18:41
  Speaker 1: that prohibitions are very which we're easily recognizable, like you said,
• 18:46
  Speaker 1: the Ten Commandments or there's you know, Charlie's at the
• 18:49
  Speaker 1: Bill of rights. You know, your your customer of Bill
• 18:52
  Speaker 1: of rights or these are written down most people agree that, hey,
• 18:56
  Speaker 1: we're going to buy it by these things. It's it's
• 18:58
  Speaker 1: the high level stuff, right, So that's really I don't
• 19:01
  Speaker 1: think the challenge is much, although it can be in
• 19:04
  Speaker 1: an organization. I think we want to acknowledge that. But
• 19:07
  Speaker 1: what I wanted to get at, like you said, Charlie,
• 19:08
  Speaker 1: is the Iceberg kind of analogy is and we can
• 19:13
  Speaker 1: couple that with prohibition too, But I really want to
• 19:15
  Speaker 1: get at identifying and start with yourself, and I would
• 19:20
  Speaker 1: recommend maybe go through let's let's give a couple of
• 19:23
  Speaker 1: examples you may have of inhibitions you have faced that
• 19:26
  Speaker 1: have not you know, has kind of set you back
• 19:31
  Speaker 1: from growing, scaling your business, taking on tasks. And these
• 19:37
  Speaker 1: are these are what I'm going to focus on. Like
• 19:39
  Speaker 1: I said, limiting beliefs, internal ways of thinking or believing
• 19:43
  Speaker 1: that aren't serving you because they're inhibiting you. They're like
• 19:46
  Speaker 1: a governor limiting you. So I'm I'm looking at from
• 19:49
  Speaker 1: that's that particular aspect. There are not there are some
• 19:52
  Speaker 1: good reasons why you haven't want to have inhibitions too,
• 19:56
  Speaker 1: but really trying to get at these ones, like you said, Charlie,
• 19:58
  Speaker 1: that we're unaware, maybe unconscious just about that's affecting our
• 20:02
  Speaker 1: ability to grow and scale our teams. It's here, and
• 20:09
  Speaker 1: I'll give you just to start it off, because I'm
• 20:10
  Speaker 1: reading this book right now called ten X is Better
• 20:13
  Speaker 1: than two X. I don't know if you guys are
• 20:15
  Speaker 1: familiar with that book, but the idea is to change
• 20:17
  Speaker 1: our thinking in because we're like, well, I can only
• 20:21
  Speaker 1: do this, I can only do it two times because
• 20:23
  Speaker 1: I can in my mind get that way, and you
• 20:25
  Speaker 1: can't even envision something bigger. But if you actually do
• 20:29
  Speaker 1: it bigger, it actually is easier and can accomplish much.
• 20:32
  Speaker 1: But we have these in emissions where we have these
• 20:34
  Speaker 1: stories that we limit ourselves. So may I'll come to
• 20:41
  Speaker 1: you first, Charlie, actually, because I know you just mentioned this,
• 20:44
  Speaker 1: I'll come back to your bill, But just can you
• 20:47
  Speaker 1: give me at least an example for yourself and or
• 20:49
  Speaker 1: team members that you faced Charlie just recognizing them.
• 20:54
  Speaker 2: Yeah. So I think there's a lot of tools out there.
• 20:57
  Speaker 2: You mentioned one of them, the five Voice, This tool
• 21:01
  Speaker 2: to help with just self awareness of how you operate,
• 21:06
  Speaker 2: how how you communicate and like to be communicated to.
• 21:11
  Speaker 2: And so there's other ones like Myers Briggs, there's we
• 21:14
  Speaker 2: you know, our company personally, we use the neogram, which
• 21:19
  Speaker 2: has nine different personality types, and so that's part of
• 21:23
  Speaker 2: our onboarding is that everybody takes that assessment, so that
• 21:26
  Speaker 2: way we have a baseline of understanding how how somebody
• 21:31
  Speaker 2: ticks their natural tendencies, and then from there I take
• 21:36
  Speaker 2: them through our culture onboarding sessions of uncovering their stories,
• 21:41
  Speaker 2: like those those beliefs that they may have wound up
• 21:46
  Speaker 2: landing on that they're not even aware that's there, and
• 21:49
  Speaker 2: running the show. And then so these are three hour
• 21:52
  Speaker 2: long sessions, So that's the first step, and then the
• 21:55
  Speaker 2: following week we come back and get complete with the
• 21:57
  Speaker 2: pass and so I think you're going to get there
• 22:00
  Speaker 2: at some point.
• 22:01
  Speaker 1: And yeah, yeah, we'll get this. Yeah, what what's like,
• 22:04
  Speaker 1: what's one that you've had, Charlie, what's a specific inhibition
• 22:07
  Speaker 1: that you had that you yeah.
• 22:09
  Speaker 2: For sure. Yeah. A story that I like to share
• 22:12
  Speaker 2: with our team members when I'm onboarding them is letting
• 22:17
  Speaker 2: them know that like early on for those that may
• 22:23
  Speaker 2: I don't know if I shared this on on these
• 22:25
  Speaker 2: podcasts before, but from nine years old to fourteen, I
• 22:29
  Speaker 2: was a novice, a Buddhist novice monk for five years
• 22:33
  Speaker 2: and at the time, maybe I was eleven or twelve,
• 22:38
  Speaker 2: we were visiting the Headquarter Monastery up in northern California.
• 22:45
  Speaker 2: And bear with me here, I'm telling the stories because
• 22:50
  Speaker 2: the stories is what helps people relate it to themselves, right,
• 22:54
  Speaker 2: So so the inhibition for me there is that at
• 23:00
  Speaker 2: the time in our main prayer hall, somebody from the
• 23:04
  Speaker 2: Headquarter monastery asked if one of the young novice monks
• 23:08
  Speaker 2: from our group of you know, maybe close to twenty
• 23:12
  Speaker 2: of us can go on stage and share something. And
• 23:15
  Speaker 2: so I wanted to make our group proud, so I
• 23:18
  Speaker 2: volunteered to go on stage and recite out loud from
• 23:21
  Speaker 2: memory this mantra that's called the Strong of My Mantra.
• 23:27
  Speaker 2: It's in Sanskrit and it takes probably fifteen minutes to
• 23:30
  Speaker 2: read it all out from memory. And so I just
• 23:33
  Speaker 2: remember starting I started for getting lines. Halfway through. I
• 23:37
  Speaker 2: don't remember if I actually finished. I just remember running
• 23:40
  Speaker 2: out the door as far as fast as I could.
• 23:43
  Speaker 2: I was bawling. And in that moment, even though I
• 23:46
  Speaker 2: didn't say it like verbally or spell it out in words,
• 23:51
  Speaker 2: but you know, in hindsight, to capture that feeling I
• 23:56
  Speaker 2: had was Basically, I told myself, I'm a failure, and
• 24:00
  Speaker 2: no matter what I do or how hard I try,
• 24:03
  Speaker 2: I'm always going to be a failure. And that essentially
• 24:07
  Speaker 2: became the script of my life, like everything that I did.
• 24:11
  Speaker 2: I mean, there's don't get me wrong, we all developed
• 24:13
  Speaker 2: strong suits to overcompensate for those stories that we're unaware
• 24:18
  Speaker 2: of and believe limiting beliefs. But things would go well
• 24:23
  Speaker 2: in friendships in school or you know whatever relationships, and
• 24:27
  Speaker 2: I would somehow sabotage self sabotage And I didn't really
• 24:31
  Speaker 2: I did the bare minimum in school because why bother
• 24:34
  Speaker 2: trying if I'm gonna say anyway? You know so, And
• 24:37
  Speaker 2: it wasn't until I actually became aware of it that
• 24:41
  Speaker 2: I could choose differently. So that's just a specific example
• 24:44
  Speaker 2: of something that could just linger and you're not even aware.
• 24:49
  Speaker 2: I mean, I may I may as well have put
• 24:51
  Speaker 2: that on my gravestone right charge a failure and always
• 24:54
  Speaker 2: will be if I never had uncovered it. So obviously
• 24:58
  Speaker 2: I wouldn't be sitting here with you find women today
• 25:01
  Speaker 2: if if that was still if I was still unconscious
• 25:03
  Speaker 2: to that.
• 25:04
  Speaker 1: Yes, absolutely, absolutely, no, I'm so glad that you have
• 25:08
  Speaker 1: overcome and recognized that. How about you, Bill, what in
• 25:12
  Speaker 1: yourself maybe or in others that you you recognize these inhambitions.
• 25:17
  Speaker 3: Well, I'd have to say for myself, you know, the
• 25:23
  Speaker 3: big limiting belief has always been, uh, has always been
• 25:26
  Speaker 3: imposter syndrome, you know, the belief that I'm I'm not
• 25:31
  Speaker 3: good enough, I'm not smart enough, and dog on it,
• 25:34
  Speaker 3: people don't like me. Mm hmm you know uh that
• 25:39
  Speaker 3: you know, and and you know all it's like it's
• 25:44
  Speaker 3: like getting up upstairs. You know, I'd be at a
• 25:48
  Speaker 3: point and I'd be like, no, no, I'm I'm not
• 25:51
  Speaker 3: good enough to do this, you know, and then uh,
• 25:54
  Speaker 3: and then I'd meet someone or or read something and
• 25:58
  Speaker 3: discover it about myself. Wait a minute, I knew this,
• 26:02
  Speaker 3: you know what makes this other person more special than me?
• 26:05
  Speaker 3: And then I'd get up to the next to the
• 26:07
  Speaker 3: next level of the stairs and uh, you know. And
• 26:11
  Speaker 3: then and then I'd be looking up the stairs again
• 26:13
  Speaker 3: and go like, oh, no, that's that's beyond my ability.
• 26:17
  Speaker 3: And then again something would happen. You know, I'd meet
• 26:20
  Speaker 3: a mentor or you know, a professor or someone who
• 26:26
  Speaker 3: who would take a little bit of belief in me
• 26:28
  Speaker 3: and help me to the next level, to to the next,
• 26:33
  Speaker 3: the next, the next landing, as it were, the next plateau,
• 26:38
  Speaker 3: and so so yeah, I've I've dealt with that. Yeah,
• 26:43
  Speaker 3: when I was when I was thinking, what am I
• 26:44
  Speaker 3: going to do after I get my uh after I
• 26:46
  Speaker 3: get my master's degree, you know, and and the and
• 26:50
  Speaker 3: and the doctorate stood uh, you know, staring at me.
• 26:52
  Speaker 3: I'm like no, no, And I'm like, well why not?
• 26:56
  Speaker 3: You know, if if doxy can do.
• 26:58
  Speaker 1: It right, Let's look at that slide at the very top.
• 27:03
  Speaker 1: What does it say on the slide here? Who says
• 27:04
  Speaker 1: you can't right? Who says you can't yeah?
• 27:09
  Speaker 3: The time you're the only one who really who has
• 27:11
  Speaker 3: a Yeah, you're the only one who has the voice
• 27:14
  Speaker 3: important enough to say you can't.
• 27:16
  Speaker 2: Right.
• 27:16
  Speaker 3: There's a pretty good chance you're wrong.
• 27:19
  Speaker 1: Mm hmm. Absolutely, you know, there we go. Let me
• 27:23
  Speaker 1: get back there. Yeah, I think there we go. Uh
• 27:28
  Speaker 1: you know, so, I mean those I think the impostles.
• 27:31
  Speaker 1: There is definitely one bill I've heard too a lot
• 27:34
  Speaker 1: of and it's related to what you said, Charlie. To
• 27:38
  Speaker 1: know that I'm not I'm not good enough. I know me,
• 27:41
  Speaker 1: I wouldn't have started toward your business, if I hadn't
• 27:44
  Speaker 1: got over the fact like who am I to start
• 27:47
  Speaker 1: this business? Who am I to go out there and
• 27:49
  Speaker 1: do this? You know, there's and and and What's been
• 27:54
  Speaker 1: interesting that I've been on this journey now coaching and
• 27:57
  Speaker 1: consulting others as well as I've recognized now, like I said,
• 28:00
  Speaker 1: with the five voices, seeing some patterns in different ones.
• 28:04
  Speaker 1: I know for me as a connector voice, sometimes I
• 28:11
  Speaker 1: have had stories about avoiding some challenging situations because I
• 28:17
  Speaker 1: didn't want to lose that connection, that energy, because I
• 28:20
  Speaker 1: thought I would lose it, like, oh, I'm being too critical.
• 28:24
  Speaker 1: I'm not. I provide lots of support. Remember we've talked
• 28:26
  Speaker 1: about support and challenge in the previous episodes, but lots
• 28:30
  Speaker 1: of support. But I have the story or an ambition
• 28:32
  Speaker 1: like oh I can't bring too much challenge or or
• 28:35
  Speaker 1: confront somebody. And so that obviously has affected my influence
• 28:42
  Speaker 1: and really the results that I was able to achieve,
• 28:45
  Speaker 1: and so I've learned to lean into that. It wasn't comfortable,
• 28:48
  Speaker 1: but I've learned to It's still I can still connect positively,
• 28:52
  Speaker 1: and we'll get more of the into that. But there's
• 28:54
  Speaker 1: others that like maybe you guys, because I think it's important,
• 28:58
  Speaker 1: like you said, Charlie, identify this in yourself. Have you
• 29:00
  Speaker 1: been able to either one of you? And I'll just
• 29:03
  Speaker 1: going to you first, Charlie, but have you been able
• 29:05
  Speaker 1: to once you start to identify yourself, start to clue
• 29:09
  Speaker 1: in Maybe you can't exactly put your finger on it,
• 29:11
  Speaker 1: but of a team member, family member, like you know,
• 29:14
  Speaker 1: there's something holding you back and I don't know what
• 29:17
  Speaker 1: it is, but you could just sense right that there's
• 29:19
  Speaker 1: something that there's there's some kind of internal inhibited they're
• 29:23
  Speaker 1: being inhibited, you know. Have you seen that, Charlie.
• 29:28
  Speaker 2: Yeah, that's that's where the tools help. Those are supporting
• 29:33
  Speaker 2: guides to to that that we leverage like in our case,
• 29:38
  Speaker 2: the neogram, in the Giant framework, the five Voices. Uh,
• 29:42
  Speaker 2: there's also Myers breaks like I mentioned previously, but they're
• 29:47
  Speaker 2: they're all they all help us and support us too
• 29:53
  Speaker 2: to move along that cause of self awareness, because that's
• 29:58
  Speaker 2: the first step you can at make any other choices
• 30:04
  Speaker 2: if you don't even know what's there, that's that's running
• 30:06
  Speaker 2: the show. So and then actually having those introspection, those
• 30:12
  Speaker 2: guided conversations that that where you invite the you know,
• 30:18
  Speaker 2: your your the people that you care about, your teammates,
• 30:22
  Speaker 2: your family, like you said on that dialogue, But it
• 30:26
  Speaker 2: takes a level of openness to look because if there's
• 30:31
  Speaker 2: emotional wall always up that somebody's always garden, they they're
• 30:37
  Speaker 2: so oblivious that there's could be something that's running the
• 30:41
  Speaker 2: show that they're not aware of. If they don't even
• 30:44
  Speaker 2: want to go there, it takes It's free will, right,
• 30:48
  Speaker 2: Like even I'm not Christian, but even God can't mess
• 30:52
  Speaker 2: with free will, right, So if somebody is not willing
• 30:55
  Speaker 2: to look, then it's not going to work.
• 30:57
  Speaker 1: Yeah. Well, and and I think I'll get you throw
• 31:00
  Speaker 1: an example to each other because you know you work
• 31:02
  Speaker 1: in the tech space technology and you know there are
• 31:06
  Speaker 1: some people and I'll use like the guardian voice for
• 31:08
  Speaker 1: those who know, but that this is a person that
• 31:10
  Speaker 1: is is very risk averse. So they may like if
• 31:14
  Speaker 1: you know this about their inhibitions potentially like this person
• 31:17
  Speaker 1: is hesitates to adopt any new technology because they feel like, hey,
• 31:22
  Speaker 1: that's going to disrupt workflows, and so their inhibition is,
• 31:25
  Speaker 1: I don't want to adopt adopt things it's going to
• 31:27
  Speaker 1: mess up workflows. So if you understand that, right, Charlie,
• 31:30
  Speaker 1: you have the awareness, the emotional intelligence. If you will,
• 31:34
  Speaker 1: then you can come in and help guide them and
• 31:37
  Speaker 1: show them how that is a limiting belief and a
• 31:41
  Speaker 1: new possibility of what can be. But you can't show
• 31:44
  Speaker 1: them what can be if you don't, if you're not
• 31:46
  Speaker 1: able to get at like, hey, what is it holding
• 31:48
  Speaker 1: you back here?
• 31:50
  Speaker 2: Right?
• 31:50
  Speaker 1: And it's like, well, I just don't want I don't
• 31:52
  Speaker 1: want this new cybersecurity software. It's going to be new.
• 31:54
  Speaker 1: I have to adopted are like Okay, I understand, there's
• 31:56
  Speaker 1: what's the what's the story? What's the inhibition here? Right?
• 31:59
  Speaker 2: Right? Right?
• 32:01
  Speaker 1: And then you can But if you're otherwise, you could
• 32:02
  Speaker 1: get just get frustrated, like this person just the technology.
• 32:04
  Speaker 1: They don't appreciate what technology can do, and like how
• 32:07
  Speaker 1: I can help them, and you're just getting frustrated and
• 32:09
  Speaker 1: not really like getting to the root of there's something here,
• 32:12
  Speaker 1: there's a story, there's an in addition that it's not
• 32:14
  Speaker 1: serving them right right? How? And so I'm going to
• 32:18
  Speaker 1: come back to you Bill. Have you in looking we
• 32:22
  Speaker 1: talked a little about yourself about working with other people
• 32:25
  Speaker 1: and recognizing that have you been able to lean into
• 32:28
  Speaker 1: that too, and seeing where people start to have some
• 32:31
  Speaker 1: kind of inhibition or things that are holding them back.
• 32:35
  Speaker 3: Yeah, you know, and uh and I like understanding the
• 32:39
  Speaker 3: whys and wherefores of those processes because it because for me,
• 32:45
  Speaker 3: it helps me to break free if I if I
• 32:49
  Speaker 3: understand the you know, the nuts and bolts of what's
• 32:52
  Speaker 3: going on. You know, like like one of the one
• 32:56
  Speaker 3: of the things that one of the things that helped
• 32:58
  Speaker 3: me break free of impostor was learning about the the
• 33:05
  Speaker 3: Dunning Kruger effect. You know, it's like, Okay, I'm uncertain
• 33:10
  Speaker 3: because I know a lot, and so it's it's like, oh, okay,
• 33:14
  Speaker 3: so so I get it.
• 33:16
  Speaker 1: Now, and.
• 33:18
  Speaker 3: You know, and it's like and and I can never
• 33:20
  Speaker 3: know enough to break three of that entirely, so I
• 33:24
  Speaker 3: just kind of have to keep reminding myself. But but yeah,
• 33:29
  Speaker 3: you know, you know, when it comes to to helping others,
• 33:34
  Speaker 3: it's you know, being able to point to specific things
• 33:38
  Speaker 3: and say, look, this is you know, this is exactly
• 33:42
  Speaker 3: where this comes from. And you know, you know, with
• 33:47
  Speaker 3: with knowledge, you break the you break the the the
• 33:50
  Speaker 3: devil's power. If you will, if if I can, if
• 33:54
  Speaker 3: I can go along with Charlie there and use.
• 33:57
  Speaker 1: We have used all sorts of things here in the
• 34:00
  Speaker 1: business podcast because we're working from all sorts of resources.
• 34:04
  Speaker 3: Absolutely, yeah, but but yeah, having having knowledge breaks change
• 34:09
  Speaker 3: mm and uh you know, if you're if you were
• 34:12
  Speaker 3: being held back by limiting belief, understanding where that belief
• 34:16
  Speaker 3: comes from and how it works can help you break
• 34:21
  Speaker 3: free of it.
• 34:22
  Speaker 1: Mm hmmm mm hm. So you know, as you the
• 34:27
  Speaker 1: listener taking this in, you know, hope you are reflecting
• 34:30
  Speaker 1: and thinking about whether your leadership is being constrained by
• 34:34
  Speaker 1: internal inhibitions or or possibly external ones as well. And
• 34:39
  Speaker 1: again they might be kind of doubling up on each other,
• 34:45
  Speaker 1: you know, yeah, you may be. For example, have a
• 34:53
  Speaker 1: fast growing company might want to stifle innovation because they
• 34:57
  Speaker 1: think that's going to that's going to mess up their
• 34:59
  Speaker 1: their process. So like, hey, no, we don't. We want
• 35:02
  Speaker 1: to make sure you just follow this way and don't
• 35:05
  Speaker 1: slow us down. So if you have if you're if
• 35:07
  Speaker 1: you have a natural inhibition to uh not speak up
• 35:14
  Speaker 1: when you need to speak up, that'll kind of aggregate,
• 35:17
  Speaker 1: you know, make and make it worse in the sense of, hey,
• 35:19
  Speaker 1: we need we need the other voices than innovation. If
• 35:21
  Speaker 1: something is going wrong. I mean how I mean, I
• 35:24
  Speaker 1: remember the whole loans and all this thing that blew
• 35:30
  Speaker 1: up in like two thousand and seven, and there's always
• 35:32
  Speaker 1: people that kind of went along and nobody said something
• 35:35
  Speaker 1: because they were in a bit of that. I just
• 35:36
  Speaker 1: want to keep going. I want to figure out how
• 35:37
  Speaker 1: to make money, and so they other people do things
• 35:40
  Speaker 1: and that they these are unhealthy in ambitions and and
• 35:44
  Speaker 1: and and the prohibitions where let's just keep going, let's
• 35:46
  Speaker 1: get as many people in. We're gonna you know, we're
• 35:49
  Speaker 1: our prohibition is we we will take everybody. We don't
• 35:52
  Speaker 1: want to say no to anybody. So that was kind
• 35:55
  Speaker 1: of the prohibition, don't say no to anybody who has
• 35:58
  Speaker 1: you know, stated income, loans and all this other stuff.
• 36:00
  Speaker 1: Was it was a disaster, and unfortunately people, you know,
• 36:05
  Speaker 1: they didn't voices that needed to be heard. They had
• 36:08
  Speaker 1: their own inhibitions and they should have spoken up, and
• 36:11
  Speaker 1: it got out of hand unfortunately. So this is I
• 36:14
  Speaker 1: think the impact. And I guess, you know, coming back
• 36:17
  Speaker 1: to you, Charlie and Bill, what are the negative impacts
• 36:21
  Speaker 1: in businesses in particular or here on the Business prunt
• 36:24
  Speaker 1: Table podcast. If you allow these negative inhibitions and prohibitions
• 36:29
  Speaker 1: to really take root in your organization. What's that cost,
• 36:34
  Speaker 1: what's what's what's you know, what's potentially at stake? If
• 36:38
  Speaker 1: we're not getting at these things. Let's start with you, you, Charlie.
• 36:42
  Speaker 2: Well, you really don't have any new possibilities or you
• 36:50
  Speaker 2: can't really create anything that's in alignment with your vision
• 36:57
  Speaker 2: if the inhibitions are in are in conflict with the vision.
• 37:04
  Speaker 2: The outside world is a reflection of the inner world.
• 37:08
  Speaker 2: And so the transformation, uh and the foundation of the
• 37:13
  Speaker 2: vision that you have for your business and for the
• 37:16
  Speaker 2: type of culture that you want to create is not
• 37:19
  Speaker 2: even possible until you work at the internal level with
• 37:25
  Speaker 2: each and every one of your teammates. And if you
• 37:27
  Speaker 2: identify that somebody is just not a good fit like
• 37:30
  Speaker 2: they're they're not they're not open, they're not open to
• 37:34
  Speaker 2: growth and transformation to to find the best in themselves,
• 37:39
  Speaker 2: then it's you have to release them. It's your duty
• 37:44
  Speaker 2: uh uh as the business owner to protect the business
• 37:50
  Speaker 2: and the culture. And you're not being mean, it's just
• 37:55
  Speaker 2: they're not a good fit for your organization. And so
• 37:59
  Speaker 2: uh that's one of the hardest things for me is
• 38:01
  Speaker 2: I want, I like to give people the benefit benefit
• 38:04
  Speaker 2: of the doubt and I want to I want it
• 38:07
  Speaker 2: sometimes more than they want it for themselves. And that's
• 38:09
  Speaker 2: not gonna work. And so you just have to identify,
• 38:16
  Speaker 2: you know, who's the right people on your that needs
• 38:18
  Speaker 2: to be on your bus, and then you have to
• 38:22
  Speaker 2: professionally release that those is I actually heard this funny
• 38:27
  Speaker 2: way of firing people from Jeff Hoffman. He's one of
• 38:31
  Speaker 2: the family member, like uh, the founder of Expedia and
• 38:36
  Speaker 2: and all the different groups that are a part of that.
• 38:39
  Speaker 2: He says, Man, you're amazing at interviewing. You need to
• 38:44
  Speaker 2: get out there and do more of that, you know,
• 38:45
  Speaker 2: So adding adding humor to to a crappy situation.
• 38:51
  Speaker 1: So well, what I hear you say. What I hear
• 38:54
  Speaker 1: you say, though, Charlie is you know, if people are
• 38:57
  Speaker 1: being unwilling to address the prohibitions and inhibitions and they're
• 39:02
  Speaker 1: resisting being coachable, right, then you have to make a
• 39:06
  Speaker 1: change in the organization in order to get at those
• 39:09
  Speaker 1: things because that does going to negatively impact the success
• 39:13
  Speaker 1: of the company. If they're like, now I'm not gonna
• 39:15
  Speaker 1: address it, I'm gonna stick my head in the sand.
• 39:18
  Speaker 1: That's not that's not the solution oriented people that you
• 39:21
  Speaker 1: need on your team.
• 39:23
  Speaker 2: Right, one bad apple spoils the soup. So your a
• 39:26
  Speaker 2: players are going to be wondering why you're allowing that,
• 39:30
  Speaker 2: why you're allowing that person to be a part of
• 39:32
  Speaker 2: the organization. Necessarily say it, but what are you saying?
• 39:37
  Speaker 1: Yeah? Yeah, no, yeah, if you if they're saying look,
• 39:40
  Speaker 1: if they're if they're the ones that are continually dragging
• 39:43
  Speaker 1: the team down intention intentionally by their lack of awareness
• 39:48
  Speaker 1: or understanding, then yeah, you do have to make a
• 39:52
  Speaker 1: move and we'll get into some more practical solutions here
• 39:54
  Speaker 1: wrapping up the podcast, but I do want just Buil
• 39:57
  Speaker 1: to just comment on this, but the what the internal
• 40:01
  Speaker 1: external impacts of the for the company, for the individual
• 40:05
  Speaker 1: when they resist addressing these inhibitions and prohibitions head on,
• 40:11
  Speaker 1: finding what's working what's not working well.
• 40:13
  Speaker 3: One one thing that that popped into my head was
• 40:17
  Speaker 3: as Charlie was saying that that a person may not
• 40:21
  Speaker 3: be an individual a prospect may not be a fit
• 40:24
  Speaker 3: for the organization. The opposite is also true that the
• 40:28
  Speaker 3: organization may not be a fit for the person. And
• 40:32
  Speaker 3: we're always thinking about the or from the organization's point
• 40:35
  Speaker 3: of view, but people have to think from their point
• 40:38
  Speaker 3: of view as individuals as well that you know, maybe
• 40:43
  Speaker 3: maybe this organization isn't working for me. And the question is,
• 40:47
  Speaker 3: of course why for for both of those why is it?
• 40:51
  Speaker 3: Is it our fault? Is it their fault? You know,
• 40:53
  Speaker 3: who's the one with their head in the sand?
• 40:55
  Speaker 2: M h.
• 40:57
  Speaker 3: You know, we have to we do have to figure
• 40:59
  Speaker 3: that out because once we figure out whose head is
• 41:03
  Speaker 3: in the sand, then we'll know who needs to work
• 41:07
  Speaker 3: on the self improvement.
• 41:09
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 41:10
  Speaker 3: So, and get rid of those limiting beliefs.
• 41:13
  Speaker 1: That's a great perspective. I mean, I think you know,
• 41:17
  Speaker 1: I never liked having to fire people. That's offen. Nobody
• 41:20
  Speaker 1: likes doing that. But if you can make it to
• 41:23
  Speaker 1: the point where the person realizes, hey, this isn't the
• 41:25
  Speaker 1: best fit for me, and they can recognize that, oh,
• 41:29
  Speaker 1: then they can move on to the right place. So
• 41:32
  Speaker 1: I want to get here, as we're getting closer to
• 41:33
  Speaker 1: the end of the episode, I want to get into
• 41:35
  Speaker 1: some practical solutions for business owners and team leaders. And
• 41:38
  Speaker 1: I thought, hey, you know, we've been talking five voices,
• 41:42
  Speaker 1: so I thought I'd give you the five voices, one
• 41:44
  Speaker 1: for each of the five voices. And I'd love to
• 41:46
  Speaker 1: have you guys also share or comment on these, and
• 41:49
  Speaker 1: so one of them, I'll just kind of go through
• 41:54
  Speaker 1: the spectrum. So nurtures are typically the quietest, right, They're
• 41:57
  Speaker 1: the ones that are the majority of folks actually are
• 42:02
  Speaker 1: over forty percent of the population. Somebody is going to
• 42:04
  Speaker 1: be a nurture, so they're they're you're gonna run into
• 42:06
  Speaker 1: these nurtures. Nurtures are very quiet and relationally oriented. I
• 42:09
  Speaker 1: would say, as a nurture, you might be inhibiting yourself
• 42:12
  Speaker 1: from speaking up. So I would say encouraging them to
• 42:15
  Speaker 1: speak up to make sure their voice is heard, and
• 42:19
  Speaker 1: your relational perspective is essential to team health. You may
• 42:24
  Speaker 1: me minimizing that self as like, why is my voice
• 42:26
  Speaker 1: need to be heard? I just want to make everybody
• 42:28
  Speaker 1: get along, right, And so nurture is one of them.
• 42:33
  Speaker 1: I'll go through all of them because I want and
• 42:34
  Speaker 1: then I want you guys to give your thoughts here.
• 42:36
  Speaker 1: I don't pick any of these here. Creatives, you know,
• 42:38
  Speaker 1: those are the people that are very innovative, right, They
• 42:41
  Speaker 1: like to come up with new stuff, and they they
• 42:44
  Speaker 1: may suffer from rejection, right because you're like, they have
• 42:48
  Speaker 1: all these different ideas, You guys meet these people that
• 42:50
  Speaker 1: are like, oh my goodness, but most of their ideas
• 42:52
  Speaker 1: are crap. They're not very good because they're not fully
• 42:54
  Speaker 1: formed ideas. You know. That's okay though, if they recognize that,
• 42:58
  Speaker 1: that's part of innovation, right. I think Steve Jobs said, like,
• 43:01
  Speaker 1: I want to see failure because this is part of
• 43:03
  Speaker 1: the process of the evolution of Apple and what we
• 43:06
  Speaker 1: and how we innovate. So if they recognize that and
• 43:10
  Speaker 1: get over that inhibition of sharing, like I don't want
• 43:13
  Speaker 1: to share it because I might reject it, they may
• 43:15
  Speaker 1: like it, they'll actually get the help move the team forward.
• 43:21
  Speaker 1: For guardians, we kind of talked to us a little
• 43:23
  Speaker 1: bit this earlier about their need for thorough analysis, but
• 43:27
  Speaker 1: also recognizing they have to be flexible and adapt with
• 43:30
  Speaker 1: a dynamic team, and that sometimes they're focused so much
• 43:34
  Speaker 1: on efficiency that like they're they're inhibited from considering kind
• 43:40
  Speaker 1: of team engagement or how to be flexible and dynamic
• 43:43
  Speaker 1: and the like I can't do that. That's that's good,
• 43:45
  Speaker 1: you know, And so thinking and challenging their ways of
• 43:49
  Speaker 1: approaching systems and processes and recognizing that's not the und
• 43:52
  Speaker 1: all be all. There may have some limitation and inhibitions,
• 43:56
  Speaker 1: and and relating with others and talking through and being flexible.
• 44:00
  Speaker 1: I mentioned myself connector you know, bringing more of a
• 44:05
  Speaker 1: challenge because I have to balance support and challenge. I
• 44:08
  Speaker 1: have inhibition to bring challenge because of my fear of
• 44:11
  Speaker 1: you know, I want to be liked. I want to
• 44:13
  Speaker 1: have that connection in a different way than than the
• 44:18
  Speaker 1: creative side. And just remember thinking that it's okay to
• 44:22
  Speaker 1: bring challenge along with the support. And finally, the pioneers,
• 44:26
  Speaker 1: those are those kind of visionaries. They you know, may
• 44:33
  Speaker 1: feel like vulnerability is a liability and I can't be vulnerable.
• 44:38
  Speaker 1: I can't. I can't share that because I'm the leader.
• 44:41
  Speaker 1: I'm the person that's pointing the way. But if they
• 44:44
  Speaker 1: build this emotional intelligence and understanding, that actually could strengthen
• 44:49
  Speaker 1: their vision and having people coming alongside them. So those
• 44:52
  Speaker 1: are just real Briefly, guys, I just wanted to give
• 44:54
  Speaker 1: you a few of them. Feel free to comment on
• 44:56
  Speaker 1: them or share your own. I'll come to you first, Charlie,
• 45:00
  Speaker 1: and then Bill thoughts there are your own on practical
• 45:04
  Speaker 1: solutions for business owners and leaders.
• 45:08
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I think just fostering that open communication and and
• 45:16
  Speaker 2: and and and culture of respect, making it safe for
• 45:22
  Speaker 2: people to to to speak up. And you know, I
• 45:28
  Speaker 2: want to use the word flat organization, having people feel
• 45:33
  Speaker 2: like they can't talk to somebody because of their title
• 45:36
  Speaker 2: or whatnot. And at the same time, it's just also
• 45:44
  Speaker 2: E p R right, encourage, praise, recognized. Let people know
• 45:47
  Speaker 2: that they are they are what do you call that,
• 45:55
  Speaker 2: their respected, regardless of what they do, right, because obviously
• 46:00
  Speaker 2: they made through the interview rounds. So they're in your
• 46:03
  Speaker 2: organization because they have a level of competency and in
• 46:08
  Speaker 2: alignment with with what your company is about and you
• 46:12
  Speaker 2: with your vision. And so I think oftentimes if we
• 46:17
  Speaker 2: get too caught up on the doing it, it takes
• 46:25
  Speaker 2: away from the humanness of it. So I would say,
• 46:29
  Speaker 2: let people know that you actually care and and and
• 46:33
  Speaker 2: and and definitely be your word, honor your word, right
• 46:39
  Speaker 2: whatever you say that you're about, and you know, actually
• 46:42
  Speaker 2: follow through and if if you can't, you got to
• 46:47
  Speaker 2: restore that right like and so that's the foundation that
• 46:51
  Speaker 2: I would say, like actionable things, leading by example. I
• 46:56
  Speaker 2: would never ask any of our team members to do
• 46:58
  Speaker 2: anything I not willing to do myself. So just being
• 47:05
  Speaker 2: being on your word and leading by example that to me,
• 47:11
  Speaker 2: those are actionable things that will inspire, you know, the
• 47:15
  Speaker 2: the attract the type of people that that is going
• 47:20
  Speaker 2: to be that you would want as part of your company,
• 47:24
  Speaker 2: as part of your vision.
• 47:25
  Speaker 1: Yeah. Well, and I liked how you said Charlie earlier.
• 47:28
  Speaker 1: When you're leading people from what you live, You're you're sharing,
• 47:31
  Speaker 1: you're being transparent, you're asking, I'm not sharing or doing
• 47:34
  Speaker 1: anything I wouldn't expect you to do. I think you're
• 47:37
  Speaker 1: breaking free of your limitations and you're helping them make
• 47:40
  Speaker 1: better decisions. You're engaging them, and they're feeling safe, and
• 47:43
  Speaker 1: you're creating this environment. I think that those are great examples.
• 47:47
  Speaker 1: And and and you're being coachable, and you're saying, I'm coachable,
• 47:49
  Speaker 1: and I want you to be coachable so that we
• 47:51
  Speaker 1: together can win together.
• 47:53
  Speaker 2: Right. Yeah, because I've seen I've seen the threat of
• 47:57
  Speaker 2: the opposite. If you get too critical about, uh, how
• 48:01
  Speaker 2: somebody is doing something wrong, then it's it's a it's
• 48:05
  Speaker 2: a vicious cycle because then they become fearful, and when
• 48:08
  Speaker 2: they're operating out of fear of making a mistake, they
• 48:10
  Speaker 2: wind up making more mistakes. And so because they believe
• 48:14
  Speaker 2: that they're flawed and defective as a human being, that
• 48:18
  Speaker 2: they can't do right and therefore they don't and so
• 48:21
  Speaker 2: it just further perpetuates that vicious cycle.
• 48:24
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, Now, great thoughts, Bill, as we're getting closed
• 48:28
  Speaker 1: to the episode, what are some you know, you've heard
• 48:30
  Speaker 1: some of my suggestions from the five voices from Charlie.
• 48:33
  Speaker 1: What are your thoughts comments on those or any other
• 48:35
  Speaker 1: suggestions for practical solutions as a business owner or a
• 48:39
  Speaker 1: leader to overcome these limit I think that.
• 48:44
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I was thinking that one thing for like the
• 48:48
  Speaker 3: quiet ones, the nurturers as you as you said, is
• 48:52
  Speaker 3: to create feedback systems that they can actually access. Yeah,
• 48:58
  Speaker 3: you know, you know, because and and what comes to
• 49:02
  Speaker 3: my mind is the is what I've referred to as
• 49:04
  Speaker 3: the veil of protection that the Internet gives to people.
• 49:08
  Speaker 3: And because of that veil, people who might otherwise not
• 49:15
  Speaker 3: criticize anyone have suddenly become trolls, which is going way
• 49:20
  Speaker 3: too far, but it's the the The principle is the
• 49:24
  Speaker 3: same that if someone who is naturally quiet and uh
• 49:30
  Speaker 3: and perhaps a little shy can access the feedback system,
• 49:35
  Speaker 3: they can act on their nurturing instincts without fear of
• 49:41
  Speaker 3: reprisal or you know, or being or being criticized for
• 49:48
  Speaker 3: for their feedback.
• 49:51
  Speaker 1: Yeah, that's a great perspective I think. Yeah, if you
• 49:54
  Speaker 1: know you have natural limited in him ambitions, Oh you're back.
• 49:59
  Speaker 1: Oh okay. I was just going to say I liked
• 50:02
  Speaker 1: I liked your example, Bill, because if you know you
• 50:05
  Speaker 1: have a natural inhibition or you know, if you once
• 50:08
  Speaker 1: you become aware of it and you know that it's
• 50:10
  Speaker 1: still going to come up. We like we've talked about
• 50:11
  Speaker 1: this before too, and then and then know yourself to
• 50:13
  Speaker 1: lead yourself episode and kind of tendencies. Right, these tendencies
• 50:17
  Speaker 1: are going to continue to be there, but we can
• 50:20
  Speaker 1: then put provide a system. Like you said, Bill, I
• 50:23
  Speaker 1: really like that of Okay, this is probably going to
• 50:26
  Speaker 1: come up. What can I do to help overcome that
• 50:30
  Speaker 1: when it does come up? And I'm already I'm already prepared.
• 50:34
  Speaker 1: This is really, I think, really really key in the
• 50:37
  Speaker 1: mental health space. I've talked with people that you know,
• 50:39
  Speaker 1: this is an extreme places, but people that are dealing
• 50:41
  Speaker 1: with your thoughts of suicide or challenges. You have to
• 50:44
  Speaker 1: have something in place when that comes up. That way
• 50:47
  Speaker 1: of thinking that doesn't serve you because when you're in
• 50:50
  Speaker 1: the when you're when you're in the depths of it,
• 50:53
  Speaker 1: it's really you're not going to think clearly. So you've
• 50:55
  Speaker 1: got to have some things in place. So I really
• 50:57
  Speaker 1: think that's a great idea. Bill think about that, or
• 51:02
  Speaker 1: somebody that you can talk to or you know, you
• 51:05
  Speaker 1: recognize if you can recognize it, like you said Charlie,
• 51:07
  Speaker 1: having people share like, oh, I'm recognizing that, I don't.
• 51:14
  Speaker 1: I was just talking to a gentleman today about he
• 51:16
  Speaker 1: had a He had an employee that said, oh, I
• 51:18
  Speaker 1: really want to work on this project. This project, this
• 51:21
  Speaker 1: client bringing a man and he's had this client for
• 51:23
  Speaker 1: like two years, and he's like, and you've only increased
• 51:27
  Speaker 1: the sales very meniscally and this client was before. And
• 51:30
  Speaker 1: he's like, I really want to keep this client. He's like,
• 51:32
  Speaker 1: I don't think you really do, because if you did,
• 51:33
  Speaker 1: you would have done these other things. And he had
• 51:35
  Speaker 1: to bring the facts to them and like, oh, you're right,
• 51:38
  Speaker 1: you know I wasn't actively there was some inhibition. I
• 51:41
  Speaker 1: don't know. We did get into the point of what
• 51:43
  Speaker 1: the in addition was, but he was faced and had
• 51:47
  Speaker 1: a good supervisor at least could reflect back and say
• 51:50
  Speaker 1: there's something here. I don't know what it is, but
• 51:52
  Speaker 1: there's something in here that you're you're saying you want
• 51:54
  Speaker 1: one thing, then reality, you're inhibiting yourself because you're not
• 51:57
  Speaker 1: getting the results right. So having somebody in your corner
• 52:02
  Speaker 1: like one of us will help you. On the podcast,
• 52:06
  Speaker 1: our organization, this is where the way we live from.
• 52:08
  Speaker 1: That's why we have the whole business Roundtable podcasts to help.
• 52:12
  Speaker 1: So I want to as we wrapping up the podcast,
• 52:15
  Speaker 1: I'll come back to you Bill and then Charlie. But
• 52:17
  Speaker 1: just final thoughts, final takeaways, and encouragement for business leaders
• 52:20
  Speaker 1: on the whole topic of inhibitions and prohivisions. What would
• 52:23
  Speaker 1: you want to leave with Bill? Oh, he's delayed. Can
• 52:29
  Speaker 1: you hear me? Bell?
• 52:31
  Speaker 3: Just so can you hear me?
• 52:35
  Speaker 1: I can hear you?
• 52:35
  Speaker 3: Okay, Just that you know that not all inhibitions are bad,
• 52:41
  Speaker 3: that sometimes boundaries and limiting issues can be freeing in
• 52:47
  Speaker 3: many ways. But but to make sure you measure those
• 52:54
  Speaker 3: beliefs and make sure that they are serving at least you,
• 52:58
  Speaker 3: if not the greater good. And uh and of course
• 53:03
  Speaker 3: with it when it comes to prohibitions, you gotta be
• 53:07
  Speaker 3: careful with the with whose whose laws you you want
• 53:10
  Speaker 3: to break. But yeah, don't don't let yourself be held
• 53:16
  Speaker 3: back by inhibitions. But uh, but don't get rid of
• 53:19
  Speaker 3: them entirely because because some of them can help you.
• 53:23
  Speaker 1: Just look and see what is that? Right? I think
• 53:26
  Speaker 1: that there's right. Yeah, there are some that serve you.
• 53:29
  Speaker 1: But like I said, there's a big iceberg underneath that,
• 53:30
  Speaker 1: like the analogy Charlie, of other things that you know,
• 53:33
  Speaker 1: there's a lot in the messy in there. I think
• 53:36
  Speaker 1: if we can get out and put those like you said, Bill,
• 53:39
  Speaker 1: the prohibitions have written down that are very clear. Oftentimes
• 53:42
  Speaker 1: they're there to help us for the most part, and
• 53:44
  Speaker 1: then they can't hurt us too. But for the most
• 53:46
  Speaker 1: part they're clear. We all agree. And if we can
• 53:47
  Speaker 1: get those out of our brain and written down and say, okay,
• 53:51
  Speaker 1: this serves me. If it's swirling in our brain and
• 53:53
  Speaker 1: we're not clear, we're gonna be uh get get stuck. So,
• 53:59
  Speaker 1: Charlie last thoughts on inhibition prohibition on this conversation tonight.
• 54:03
  Speaker 2: Yeah, as Tony Robbins says, the greatest human need is
• 54:10
  Speaker 2: to be congruent with the story that they believe about themselves.
• 54:15
  Speaker 2: And so if you want to bring out the best
• 54:18
  Speaker 2: in your team members in yourself for that matter. First,
• 54:24
  Speaker 2: awareness and identifying what those stories are is the first
• 54:28
  Speaker 2: step so that you're able to actually have a say
• 54:32
  Speaker 2: so in that story in which you want to operate from,
• 54:37
  Speaker 2: or else you're just dealing at the at the surface level, right,
• 54:43
  Speaker 2: You're not dealing with at the root. It's like you're
• 54:46
  Speaker 2: trying to treat a disease based on dealing with the
• 54:50
  Speaker 2: symptoms only and not finding the root cause. The root
• 54:54
  Speaker 2: cause is the story and those beliefs that you hold
• 54:58
  Speaker 2: about yourself, whether you're aware of it or not.
• 55:00
  Speaker 1: Yeah, good after it, Good after it. Thank you Charlie,
• 55:03
  Speaker 1: Thank you Bill for coming back. If you guys enjoyed
• 55:06
  Speaker 1: this podcast, share it with those in your community, your network.
• 55:11
  Speaker 1: We appreciate your five star review on your favorite podcast platform,
• 55:15
  Speaker 1: of course, like and subscribe. We're on YouTube, we're on LinkedIn.
• 55:18
  Speaker 1: You guys can connect with us on your favorite social
• 55:21
  Speaker 1: media platform. We're all out there and we would love
• 55:24
  Speaker 1: to hear from you. So thank you Charlie and Bill,
• 55:27
  Speaker 1: and until next time, everybody, take care, be well and
• 55:30
  Speaker 1: we'll talk to you soon.
• 55:32
  Speaker 3: Hi.
• 55:33
  Speaker 2: You have a good night.