Latest / RealTalkwithMikeD / Episode 19 - 53 and Lonely!

Transcript

Episode 19 - 53 and Lonely! · RealTalkwithMikeD

• 0:01
  Speaker 1: Welcome to Real Talk with Mike D. Alright, welcome back
• 0:07
  Speaker 1: to Real Talk with Mike D. I am Mike D.
• 0:15
  Speaker 1: Thank you for listening. Thank you for being here. And
• 0:17
  Speaker 1: as always, thank you for showing me some love. Today
• 0:20
  Speaker 1: we're going to talk about something that a lot of
• 0:22
  Speaker 1: people experience but don't always want to admit. Something that
• 0:26
  Speaker 1: can happen whether you're surrounded by people or sitting alone
• 0:28
  Speaker 1: in a room. And that would be loneliness. I'm talking
• 0:33
  Speaker 1: about being 54 and lonely. Yep. 54. You get to
• 0:39
  Speaker 1: a certain age and you start looking around at your life.
• 0:42
  Speaker 1: You start thinking about where you thought you'd be. Where
• 0:44
  Speaker 1: you actually are. The people who used to be in
• 0:47
  Speaker 1: your life. The people who aren't anymore. The relationships that
• 0:52
  Speaker 1: didn't work out. The friendships that faded away. The kids
• 0:55
  Speaker 1: who grew up and started living their own lives. And sometimes...
• 1:00
  Speaker 1: You come home at the end of the day, shut
• 1:01
  Speaker 1: the door, sit down, and there's nobody there. And that's
• 1:04
  Speaker 1: when the silence gets loud. I've learned something about loneliness.
• 1:10
  Speaker 1: It's not always about being alone. Sometimes loneliness is wanting
• 1:13
  Speaker 1: somebody to talk to, somebody to laugh with, somebody to
• 1:17
  Speaker 1: call when something good happens, somebody to sit beside you
• 1:20
  Speaker 1: on the couch without either one of you having to
• 1:23
  Speaker 1: say a word. It's wanting somebody who knows your story,
• 1:27
  Speaker 1: not just the good parts. The mistakes, the failures, the disappointments,
• 1:31
  Speaker 1: the things you've survived. Somebody who looks at you and says,
• 1:34
  Speaker 1: I know you've been through some things, but I'm still here.
• 1:38
  Speaker 1: And when you don't have that person, yeah, it can hurt.
• 1:43
  Speaker 1: At 54, you start realizing that life doesn't always turn
• 1:46
  Speaker 1: out the way you pictured it when you were younger.
• 1:49
  Speaker 1: When you're 20, you think you have all the time
• 1:51
  Speaker 1: in the world. At 30, you're building your life. At 40,
• 1:55
  Speaker 1: you're chasing your goals. And then you hit your 50s,
• 1:59
  Speaker 1: and suddenly you realize, I am as moving. You start
• 2:03
  Speaker 1: thinking about the years behind you. You remember the people
• 2:06
  Speaker 1: who were once such a big part of your life.
• 2:09
  Speaker 1: You remember old houses, old jobs, old friends, old relationships,
• 2:14
  Speaker 1: old dreams. And sometimes you wonder, what happened? How did
• 2:19
  Speaker 1: I get here? How did the years go by so fast?
• 2:23
  Speaker 1: And maybe that's one of the hardest parts about being
• 2:25
  Speaker 1: 54 and lonely. It's not just missing people. It's missing
• 2:29
  Speaker 1: who you were when those people were in your life.
• 2:34
  Speaker 1: But here's what I want to say. Being lonely doesn't
• 2:36
  Speaker 1: mean you're broken. It doesn't mean you're unlovable. It doesn't
• 2:40
  Speaker 1: mean your best days are behind you. And it certainly
• 2:43
  Speaker 1: doesn't mean you're going to be alone forever. Sometimes life
• 2:47
  Speaker 1: gets quiet because you're entering a new chapter. A new
• 2:50
  Speaker 1: chapter can feel uncomfortable. You don't know the characters yet.
• 2:54
  Speaker 1: You don't know how the story is going to end.
• 2:56
  Speaker 1: You're just sitting there with a blank page. And maybe,
• 3:00
  Speaker 1: maybe that's the opportunity. Maybe this next chapter is yours
• 3:04
  Speaker 1: to write. At 54, I've learned that you don't need
• 3:08
  Speaker 1: 100 people around you. You don't need a house full
• 3:11
  Speaker 1: of people. You don't need hundreds of Facebook friends. You
• 3:15
  Speaker 1: need a few real people. People you can be yourself around.
• 3:20
  Speaker 1: People you don't have to impress. People who don't care
• 3:23
  Speaker 1: about your bank account, your job title, your past mistakes,
• 3:26
  Speaker 1: or how successful you look. People who just care about you.
• 3:31
  Speaker 1: And if you don't have those people right now, don't
• 3:33
  Speaker 1: give up. Get out. Talk to somebody. Join something. Go
• 3:38
  Speaker 1: have a cup of coffee. Take a walk. Go to
• 3:40
  Speaker 1: the gym. Volunteer. Call somebody you haven't talked to in years.
• 3:46
  Speaker 1: Sometimes we wait for somebody to rescue us from loneliness. Sometimes...
• 3:50
  Speaker 1: We have to take the first step ourselves. And believe me,
• 3:54
  Speaker 1: I know that's not always easy. When you're lonely, the
• 3:57
  Speaker 1: last thing you want to do is walk into a
• 3:59
  Speaker 1: room full of strangers. You might think, what's the point?
• 4:03
  Speaker 1: But what if that one uncomfortable step leads to one conversation?
• 4:07
  Speaker 1: And that conversation leads to a friendship. And that friendship
• 4:10
  Speaker 1: becomes somebody you can count on. You never know. There's
• 4:15
  Speaker 1: another kind of loneliness that nobody talks about. It's being
• 4:18
  Speaker 1: lonely while pretending you're okay. You go to work, you smile,
• 4:23
  Speaker 1: you joke around, you tell everybody, I'm good. But inside
• 4:27
  Speaker 1: you're not. And there's nothing wrong with admitting that. Sometimes
• 4:31
  Speaker 1: you just need to say, I'm lonely. These two words
• 4:35
  Speaker 1: don't make you weak, they make you human. And if
• 4:38
  Speaker 1: you're listening to this right now and you're 54, 45, 35, 65,
• 4:43
  Speaker 1: whatever your age is, and you're feeling lonely, I want
• 4:46
  Speaker 1: you to know something. You're not the only one. There
• 4:50
  Speaker 1: are people sitting in apartments right now feeling exactly what
• 4:53
  Speaker 1: you're feeling. There are people lying in bed tonight staring
• 4:56
  Speaker 1: at the ceiling. There are people scrolling through their phones
• 4:59
  Speaker 1: hoping somebody will text them. There are people sitting at
• 5:03
  Speaker 1: dinner tables by themselves. There are people who have families
• 5:07
  Speaker 1: but still feel completely alone. Loneliness doesn't discriminate. But here's
• 5:14
  Speaker 1: the thing. Your life isn't finished. 54 isn't old. It's
• 5:20
  Speaker 1: not the end of the road. It's another chapter. And
• 5:23
  Speaker 1: maybe this is the chapter where you finally stop worrying
• 5:26
  Speaker 1: about what everybody else thinks. Maybe this is the chapter
• 5:30
  Speaker 1: where you start doing things you've always wanted to do.
• 5:33
  Speaker 1: Maybe you travel. Maybe you move somewhere you've always dreamed about.
• 5:37
  Speaker 1: Maybe you start that business. Maybe you write that book.
• 5:40
  Speaker 1: Maybe you start a podcast. Maybe you fall in love again.
• 5:44
  Speaker 1: Maybe you find a new group of friends. Maybe you
• 5:46
  Speaker 1: discover that the person you've been waiting for is actually yourself.
• 5:50
  Speaker 1: Because there's a difference between being alone and being lonely.
• 5:56
  Speaker 1: Being alone can sometimes be peaceful. You can learn to
• 5:59
  Speaker 1: enjoy your own company. You can sit outside and watch
• 6:02
  Speaker 1: the sunset, listen to music, take a drive, cook yourself
• 6:05
  Speaker 1: a good meal, laugh at something stupid on television, go
• 6:10
  Speaker 1: somewhere you've never been. You can learn that own company
• 6:14
  Speaker 1: isn't something to be afraid of. And once you're comfortable
• 6:17
  Speaker 1: being alone, You can stop accepting the wrong people just
• 6:20
  Speaker 1: because you're afraid of loneliness. That's powerful. So yeah, I'm
• 6:29
  Speaker 1: 54 and maybe sometimes I'm lonely. But I'm still here.
• 6:33
  Speaker 1: I'm still breathing. I'm still dreaming. I'm still laughing. I'm
• 6:35
  Speaker 1: still hoping. And as long as I'm still here, there's
• 6:39
  Speaker 1: still a chance for something amazing to happen. A new friendship.
• 6:44
  Speaker 1: A new relationship. A new opportunity. A new adventure. A
• 6:46
  Speaker 1: new reason to wake up excited about tomorrow. And that's
• 6:50
  Speaker 1: what I want you to remember. Don't let loneliness convince
• 6:53
  Speaker 1: you that you're forgotten. Because you're not. Don't let loneliness
• 6:59
  Speaker 1: convince you that nobody cares. Because somebody does care. And
• 7:04
  Speaker 1: if you haven't found your people yet, keep looking. Because
• 7:08
  Speaker 1: sometimes the best people enter your life when you least
• 7:11
  Speaker 1: expect them. Amen. Ain't that the truth? Sometimes the best
• 7:18
  Speaker 1: people enter your life when you least expect them. That's
• 7:22
  Speaker 1: happened a few times. And it's amazing and beautiful when
• 7:27
  Speaker 1: it happens. But that's going to end today's podcast regarding loneliness.
• 7:34
  Speaker 1: I hope you enjoyed it. I hope you got a
• 7:37
  Speaker 1: positive message out of it. And I greatly appreciate you
• 7:42
  Speaker 1: all being here. I appreciate you listening. And I appreciate
• 7:45
  Speaker 1: the love. But until the next one, I bid you peace, love, happiness. Peace.