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Surviving The Holidays with Dr. Stacy Cohen · Untraditionally Lala

0:05
Speaker 1: Hello, gorgeous, it is yours truly blah lah kent with
0:11
Speaker 1: my sidekick ride or die, bad ass, motherfucking bitch. What's
0:14
Speaker 1: up jets?
0:15
Speaker 2: What's up everyone?
0:18
Speaker 1: Wow? We just had Thanksgiving?
0:22
Speaker 2: How is your Thanksgiving?
0:23
Speaker 1: My Thanksgiving was awesome? Okay, so my little brother came
0:28
Speaker 1: into town. It was just me easton my mama ocean.
0:33
Speaker 1: We had the best time. It was hysterical because you know,
0:39
Speaker 1: we're like in this new place and we're fixing Thanksgiving
0:43
Speaker 1: and everything in my new place, I call it the
0:46
Speaker 1: safe House, is completely brand new. And before we moved in,
0:50
Speaker 1: they said to us, keep in mind everything's brand new,
0:55
Speaker 1: so things may like you may look at something and
0:58
Speaker 1: be like, oh, this isn't working. Well, the oven doesn't
1:02
Speaker 1: completely shut, so it just stays on, like the burner
1:06
Speaker 1: stays on. Stuff like yeah we heat. So everything was
1:11
Speaker 1: like so we basically prepped our entire Thanksgiving dinner in
1:20
Speaker 1: our what is that thing called downstairs? What thing the
1:24
Speaker 1: air fryer? We prepped. Oh and it was the bed
1:27
Speaker 1: Thanksgiving meal.
1:28
Speaker 2: Ever, Laala loves her air fryer, So I'm sure that
1:32
Speaker 2: was like your your Thanksgiving meal, that was the best
1:35
Speaker 2: one you've ever had.
1:35
Speaker 1: Maybe it was the best one I've ever had. And
1:37
Speaker 1: keep in mind, I'm obsessed with the air fryer because
1:40
Speaker 1: my mom and Easton are like obsessed with the air fryer.
1:44
Speaker 1: And I was like, fine, like I'll get a fucking
1:45
Speaker 1: air fryer. Thank God for it. We made the beans
1:49
Speaker 1: in there, we made the sweet potatoes in the every serres. Yeah,
1:53
Speaker 1: it was five stop.
1:54
Speaker 2: That's actually amazing. And also I told Lala, I was like,
1:58
Speaker 2: this Thanksgiving, you're in a brand new house, like you
2:01
Speaker 2: moved everything in, just go out to eat. But obviously
2:04
Speaker 2: you did not do that. You guys went. You went
2:07
Speaker 2: for it.
2:07
Speaker 1: I went for it. That's amazing. We fucking went for it.
2:10
Speaker 2: Because Kyle and I did not.
2:11
Speaker 1: Well, you were supposed to cook on Thanksgiving, that's like
2:14
Speaker 1: your thing. I didn't.
2:15
Speaker 2: We went to the Bellagio for Thanksgiving dinner with house
2:17
Speaker 2: Sad and Mom.
2:18
Speaker 1: It was great.
2:19
Speaker 2: It was really great. It was beautiful, it was relaxing.
2:21
Speaker 2: It was decorated for Christmas. So it was great. But
2:24
Speaker 2: I'm kind of like it was great. Next year, I'm
2:27
Speaker 2: going to cook.
2:28
Speaker 1: Next year, you're going to cook. Yeah, you'll live and
2:30
Speaker 1: you'll learn. Yeah, I remember there was a year that
2:32
Speaker 1: my mom took us to this place in Utah called Membara,
2:35
Speaker 1: and it was like, all, keep in mind, you guys,
2:37
Speaker 1: we're recording this podcast in my bed and there's like
2:40
Speaker 1: leaf blowers outside, so they're starting up again. You can
2:43
Speaker 1: hear them.
2:44
Speaker 3: Yeah, this is.
2:45
Speaker 1: Real life, people, well says real life. Welcome to the
2:48
Speaker 1: safe house. Welcome to the safe house. But I remember
2:52
Speaker 1: sitting there and it was like all this seafood and stuff.
2:54
Speaker 1: And I love seafood, but I was like, what the
2:55
Speaker 1: fuck is this? Yeah, and the worst part about going
2:59
Speaker 1: out there's no leftovers. That is true.
3:03
Speaker 2: That is something I miss see.
3:05
Speaker 1: The leftovers are the best part.
3:06
Speaker 2: Did you have leftovers this year?
3:08
Speaker 1: We did? So let me let me explain something to everybody.
3:11
Speaker 1: Though I have been incredibly stressed out. I can't imagine why.
3:19
Speaker 1: I've literally lost I just got weighed at the doctor
3:22
Speaker 1: and I have lost over like ten pounds. Oh, because
3:27
Speaker 1: I'm like, just my stomach every time I put food
3:31
Speaker 1: in my mouth, it just feels like I'm going to vomit.
3:35
Speaker 1: My stomach is just in knots and I'm trying to
3:38
Speaker 1: work through it mentally. It's not that I'm not eating
3:41
Speaker 1: because I don't want to, but I have. When certain
3:44
Speaker 1: things happen to me, I have a visceral reaction to them.
3:47
Speaker 1: My body responds in a way where it's like, not hungry, right,
3:52
Speaker 1: And so I having to force feed myself right now,
3:55
Speaker 1: and my mom is like, you're eating this, and it's
3:58
Speaker 1: it's difficult because I just have a lot on my
4:01
Speaker 1: mind and I'm doing a lot of things. I'm trying
4:03
Speaker 1: to work. I'm a single mom, all amazing. But I
4:07
Speaker 1: didn't back to off the heavy topic back to I
4:11
Speaker 1: did have leftovers. I didn't eat as much as I
4:13
Speaker 1: usually would, Okay, but I definitely was eating leftovers right right.
4:19
Speaker 1: The good thing is is when my appetite comes back. Oh,
4:24
Speaker 1: she comes back. She's like, where's the chocolate King Wings,
4:29
Speaker 1: where's the deep fried chicken?
4:30
Speaker 2: She comes back?
4:31
Speaker 1: She comes back, honey. So I will welcome her whenever
4:35
Speaker 1: she's ready to come back.
4:36
Speaker 3: Right.
4:36
Speaker 1: And one thing I'm worried about, though, Jess, is my
4:38
Speaker 1: reunion is coming up Friday, and I have a dress,
4:41
Speaker 1: but is it gonna fit? And where's wardrobe gonna have
4:44
Speaker 1: to pin me up?
4:45
Speaker 2: That's the vander Pump Rules reunion. As everybody knows, it's
4:50
Speaker 2: so great. Yeah, that's true. You're dressed though. There are
4:53
Speaker 2: two options that Lala's choosing between. They're both gorgeous, and
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Speaker 2: I think either one you'll make work.
4:59
Speaker 1: Should I I spill some tee?
5:01
Speaker 2: Spill the tea?
5:02
Speaker 1: Okay? Fun? Fun fact. So I had this interview look
5:08
Speaker 1: that production went crazy over. I found out about the
5:14
Speaker 1: pictures of his name we shall not mention and the
5:18
Speaker 1: Nashville Girls. I decided on October twentieth, the day of
5:21
Speaker 1: my book signing, that I was going to change my tattoo.
5:25
Speaker 4: You did that too?
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Speaker 1: Brand new? Well, because my outfit for the interview look
5:33
Speaker 1: had never been it hadn't been worn yet, and I
5:35
Speaker 1: had an interview coming up and it didn't have sleeves
5:38
Speaker 1: on it, and I was like, I have a new
5:40
Speaker 1: tattoo that I cannot reveal yet, So we need to
5:44
Speaker 1: make sure because I didn't know when they would use
5:46
Speaker 1: this interview look. You know, I'm like, they could pop
5:48
Speaker 1: it in tomorrow and it could be on this next
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Speaker 1: episode and I cannot have that happen. So I wore
5:54
Speaker 1: the same dress that I wore at my book signing
5:56
Speaker 1: to do the interview look. It's like that cute little
5:58
Speaker 1: pink one hair in the bond feeling chic. Production was
6:02
Speaker 1: super amazing about it. They were like, we totally understand
6:04
Speaker 1: and now they've actually their number one pick for my reunion.
6:07
Speaker 1: Look is the dress that I was gonna wear in
6:10
Speaker 1: the interviews.
6:11
Speaker 2: And you and you guys, it's absolutely gorgeous and now
6:15
Speaker 2: you're rocking the brand new tattoo.
6:17
Speaker 1: With the brand new tattoo is such a vibe, such
6:20
Speaker 1: a vibe, It's gorgeous.
6:21
Speaker 2: And not only is it a vibe, it is now
6:24
Speaker 2: on my Mola's merch.
6:26
Speaker 1: It's just such a fun thing to say, like I'm
6:28
Speaker 1: brand new, like it's so yeah, and it's in my
6:31
Speaker 1: handwriting and I am brand new, like I feel with
6:36
Speaker 1: everything that's going on, like my mind is right right. Yeah,
6:41
Speaker 1: you know.
6:42
Speaker 2: Never, yes, I've never felt that you're more at peace,
6:47
Speaker 2: at ease, more of a boss as bitch, boss as
6:51
Speaker 2: bitch than you are now. But speaking of spilling the tea, yeah, Laala,
6:57
Speaker 2: I'm curious. So you mentioned the vander Pump Rules reunion
7:00
Speaker 2: and is filming this coming Friday, which will be December third,
7:05
Speaker 2: Will you spill tea? What are your thoughts on that?
7:10
Speaker 1: You know? I think there are certain things that can
7:12
Speaker 1: be discussed, and there are certain things that go a
7:15
Speaker 1: little deeper that you know, I will answer to the
7:18
Speaker 1: best of my ability, okay, But you know, unfortunately for me,
7:24
Speaker 1: my head has been in the sand. I don't know
7:28
Speaker 1: how the fuck I didn't see a lot of this
7:30
Speaker 1: shit right, And some of my comments and my meddling
7:35
Speaker 1: in other people's relationships. I don't know if it was
7:38
Speaker 1: a projection. I don't know what happened. All I know
7:43
Speaker 1: is a lot of things that I said and things
7:46
Speaker 1: that I you know, meddled in my comments didn't age well, right,
7:51
Speaker 1: And I'm okay with that, Okay, So I think a
7:54
Speaker 1: lot of it is going to be talking about that
7:58
Speaker 1: and having to answer for a lot of those And
8:01
Speaker 1: you know, I'm big on accountability, Yeah you are. You know.
8:05
Speaker 1: I don't like thinking. I don't when I behave a
8:09
Speaker 1: certain way, this, that, and the other. I'm a firm
8:12
Speaker 1: believer in the universe has always held me accountable. Yeah so,
8:17
Speaker 1: and it's made me have to sit here and face
8:20
Speaker 1: things and be truthful and honest. And with all of that,
8:24
Speaker 1: I'm grateful for because I lay my head down every
8:27
Speaker 1: single night and I know that I am a good person, Jess.
8:30
Speaker 2: You are one of the best people I know, and
8:33
Speaker 2: it's very sweet.
8:34
Speaker 1: I know that I mess up sometimes, but I am
8:38
Speaker 1: very proud of my evolution, and I'm when I look
8:43
Speaker 1: in the mirror, I know like that I was that
8:47
Speaker 1: I am a good human being and that's good enough
8:51
Speaker 1: for me.
8:52
Speaker 2: Yeah, and it should be. You're a great person. Your
8:55
Speaker 2: people see you. This is how I feel because I
8:58
Speaker 2: was one of those people I saw a lot of
9:00
Speaker 2: and I was like, Oh, she's a badass business woman.
9:02
Speaker 2: Look at her do this, look at her do that.
9:04
Speaker 2: And then you meet Lalla, and then within such a
9:08
Speaker 2: quick amount of time, you're like, oh, oh, this person
9:12
Speaker 2: is so much deeper than I thought. And then even
9:14
Speaker 2: you know, a couple weeks later, I'm seeing Lalla say
9:17
Speaker 2: things and do things on her own accord, not thinking
9:20
Speaker 2: anyone's watching or listening, for other people that no one
9:24
Speaker 2: will ever find out about, and she just does them
9:27
Speaker 2: out of the good of her heart for other people,
9:29
Speaker 2: for animals, and it's just like, oh, this is a
9:32
Speaker 2: good person.
9:32
Speaker 1: I appreciate that. And I will say about my cast members.
9:36
Speaker 1: You know, people watch and they all have an opinion.
9:38
Speaker 1: Oh Santa bal's this, Oh Shina does that? You know?
9:40
Speaker 1: Everyone has an opinion on every single person. I love
9:43
Speaker 1: she and I fucking hate Lalla. I can honestly say
9:47
Speaker 1: my cast members, who I'm lucky enough to also call
9:51
Speaker 1: my friends, they are good human beings, right, you know.
9:57
Speaker 1: We all have our little things where it's like, uh,
9:59
Speaker 1: don't that about you? And that's just part of being
10:02
Speaker 1: a human being, right, you know. But I can honestly
10:05
Speaker 1: say that group of people that I get to be
10:09
Speaker 1: friends with, they're just their core is good.
10:12
Speaker 2: Yeah, I know that. What a great way to feel
10:16
Speaker 2: about people you you surround yourself with. Oh yeah, that's amazing.
10:21
Speaker 1: So I'm very excited for the reunion. I feel like
10:24
Speaker 1: it's going to go great. And what they do is
10:29
Speaker 1: the reunion comes and we get every single episode so
10:32
Speaker 1: that we know what we're going to be talking about,
10:34
Speaker 1: because even though we lived it, we don't know what
10:36
Speaker 1: the episode entails, right. We love that, Yeah, and we
10:39
Speaker 1: don't know what everyone said about us behind our bags.
10:42
Speaker 1: So we have to watch Bravo, Bravo, Bravo, Bravo, Little
10:47
Speaker 1: Denise Richards, Bravo, Bravo, Bravo. So I've seen a lot
10:52
Speaker 1: of the episodes, but last night one of the episodes aired.
10:55
Speaker 1: Another one did an age so well with what I
10:58
Speaker 1: was saying, but it was it's funny because did you
11:01
Speaker 1: see that part?
11:02
Speaker 2: Okay in my interview, So I haven't watched it yet,
11:06
Speaker 2: but I've been like peeking in when you're watching it,
11:08
Speaker 2: you guys. I'm still trying to get my apartment together.
11:10
Speaker 2: Laala is way more ahead than I am. Her house
11:13
Speaker 2: is like looking amazing, So I need to watch it.
11:16
Speaker 1: But tell me what I shu you mean you've been
11:17
Speaker 1: doing other things besides speaking in and watching Bravo. What
11:20
Speaker 1: could you possibly be doing? Chess? Working her ass off?
11:23
Speaker 1: Such a hustler. I love her. Thank you the one
11:26
Speaker 1: part where it was like there are repercussions to your actions,
11:30
Speaker 1: you don't get to come home land next to all this?
11:33
Speaker 1: Are you crazy?
11:34
Speaker 2: I saw that? And how do you feel about that moment?
11:37
Speaker 1: It just feels so weird, Like the universe is like
11:40
Speaker 1: we're going to need to like make sure that she
11:43
Speaker 1: has some good interviews that kind of align with what's
11:45
Speaker 1: about to smack her in the face. Right.
11:48
Speaker 2: Yeah, Also, amen to that. I did see that clip
11:51
Speaker 2: because I heard it as you were watching it. And
11:52
Speaker 2: I peeked in, how do you feel about that? Would
11:55
Speaker 2: you say that same exact thing right now?
11:57
Speaker 1: Absolutely? Yeah, there are repercussions.
12:00
Speaker 2: Bye, I love it, I love it.
12:02
Speaker 4: Bye?
12:03
Speaker 1: What else? No questions ask no questions asked, no questions asked.
12:06
Speaker 1: You know the deal in this relationship. I had my
12:08
Speaker 1: head in the sand for a really long time, right,
12:12
Speaker 1: but I'm grateful no matter what. You know, what's five
12:15
Speaker 1: years and some change versus what I would have been
12:18
Speaker 1: in You know, for me, it's like I give clearcut
12:24
Speaker 1: things of what I expect in a relationship. Sadly, it's
12:28
Speaker 1: sad that that you even have to say, like, I
12:30
Speaker 1: have a zero this policy in this. Yeah, the second
12:35
Speaker 1: that I felt unsafe, I always I said this in therapy,
12:38
Speaker 1: I said, the second I get a pit in my stomach,
12:40
Speaker 1: it'll be a different conversation. I got that pit, Jessica,
12:44
Speaker 1: and I got the fuck out. But for you, no questions.
12:47
Speaker 2: Asked, no questions. But bye, here's my here's my question,
12:50
Speaker 2: no questions asked. But also I have a question. So
12:53
Speaker 2: I watch So I saw that interview clip, and I thought,
12:57
Speaker 2: there's no way if if I knew some things were
13:02
Speaker 2: going on, right, I wouldn't tell this this person and
13:06
Speaker 2: this interview was not it was a while ago or
13:08
Speaker 2: not that long ago, but it was.
13:11
Speaker 1: It was a while ago.
13:12
Speaker 3: It was.
13:13
Speaker 2: So my question to you is, you're this person in
13:17
Speaker 2: the interview and you're saying these things. Do you think
13:20
Speaker 2: that that also comes off to your friends and castmates
13:23
Speaker 2: or do you think like do you look at that
13:25
Speaker 2: person in the interview and think, oh, people must see
13:28
Speaker 2: me differently? You know what I'm saying.
13:30
Speaker 1: You know, I asked that question all the time, like
13:34
Speaker 1: what how could this be going on? And I had
13:39
Speaker 1: no idea.
13:41
Speaker 2: Right you know, yeah, yeah, because I look at that
13:45
Speaker 2: person in the interview and that's who you are now,
13:47
Speaker 2: and it's a take no shit, right, don't even try
13:52
Speaker 2: and cross the line. Yeah, it's interesting.
13:55
Speaker 1: It's it's very hard for me to watch this season.
13:58
Speaker 2: Yeah, very yeah. But you know what, Laala, you're the
14:03
Speaker 2: same person. That's what I'm like. It's not like this
14:07
Speaker 2: is how I feel. It's not like you're watching the
14:08
Speaker 2: show and you're like, oh, like, sure, you say some
14:11
Speaker 2: things that didn't age well, but overall you're not watching
14:15
Speaker 2: the show and you're like, oh my god, I'm like
14:17
Speaker 2: cringing at what I believed in that moment, or my morals.
14:21
Speaker 1: Or how I felt. No, You're right. When I when
14:23
Speaker 1: I watch it, it's like I was just someone who
14:27
Speaker 1: thought she was in a very different situation than she
14:30
Speaker 1: was actually in, right, you know. Yeah, the other part
14:35
Speaker 1: of last night's episode was me what is it called mimicking? Mocking, impersonating? Okay,
14:42
Speaker 1: impersonating Tam Mike Tom Sanderson.
14:45
Speaker 2: I saw this clip too because I heard someone talking.
14:47
Speaker 2: I was like, that's not wait is that wala? Is
14:49
Speaker 2: she impersonating?
14:50
Speaker 1: For impersonations?
14:51
Speaker 4: On point?
14:52
Speaker 2: But tell me about that scene.
14:54
Speaker 1: I just could picture Sandoval so clearly in my mind.
14:58
Speaker 1: It's when I heard that they were making cocktail, and
15:00
Speaker 1: then the way that they edited it together, it was like,
15:04
Speaker 1: this is cold.
15:05
Speaker 2: It's one of my favorite edits besides the Bitch montage.
15:09
Speaker 1: The Bitch montage wins the whole game.
15:11
Speaker 2: Right, Yes, that was incredible, Like you called it, you
15:15
Speaker 2: knew exactly you called it.
15:17
Speaker 1: How did that happen? I'm just appreciative for the editors
15:20
Speaker 1: because the fact that they pulled that together and how
15:24
Speaker 1: many seasons and times that I use the word bitch. Right, Bravo,
15:28
Speaker 1: Bravo Bravo, Bravo, Bravo evolution, Bravo evolution. I dig it.
15:34
Speaker 2: No, but I love that your impersonation of Tom Sandoval
15:37
Speaker 2: is amazing this and you don't have to do it now.
15:39
Speaker 2: But if you were to impersonate anyone else on the cast,
15:42
Speaker 2: who do you think you would nail? Because I feel
15:44
Speaker 2: like you were great at Tom Sandoval. Who could you
15:47
Speaker 2: Who do you look at at the cast and you're
15:48
Speaker 2: You're like, oh, I could impersonate him or her really well?
15:52
Speaker 2: Because I have an idea in my mind because I've
15:54
Speaker 2: heard you do it before, just as like being cute
15:56
Speaker 2: or funny.
15:57
Speaker 1: I think maybe Tom Schwartz or my sweet little Bambi Roquel. Okay, okay,
16:03
Speaker 1: I don't know that I'm gonna do it right now. No, no, no,
16:05
Speaker 1: don't do it right now.
16:06
Speaker 2: No, but I just because it was so like Tom Sandival,
16:08
Speaker 2: I would have been like, no, you can't do.
16:09
Speaker 1: That was the easiest one to do.
16:12
Speaker 2: It was good, It was good.
16:14
Speaker 1: It was good.
16:14
Speaker 4: Yeah.
16:15
Speaker 1: Anyway, moving on to our important guest. You guys, I'm
16:21
Speaker 1: so excited for today's podcast. I know I say that
16:24
Speaker 1: every time, but the guests that I get to have
16:26
Speaker 1: on are so amazing, And today I have a woman
16:30
Speaker 1: who literally is responsible for the path that I am
16:36
Speaker 1: on today. She is someone I wrote about in my book.
16:40
Speaker 1: Her name is doctor Stacy Cohen. She is the woman
16:44
Speaker 1: who I met with on a Friday over three years
16:49
Speaker 1: ago and she said to me, I want you to
16:54
Speaker 1: take this number down after hearing me speak. And this
16:57
Speaker 1: number she had me take down was a substance abuse
17:02
Speaker 1: basically a case manager. She helps get people sober. I
17:06
Speaker 1: said to doctor Cohen, are you asking me to be
17:08
Speaker 1: sober because I can't do that. She said, I'm not
17:11
Speaker 1: asking you to do anything. I just want you to
17:14
Speaker 1: take it in case you ever need it. Cut to
17:18
Speaker 1: that following Monday, I use the phone number that she
17:21
Speaker 1: gave me and she is just like, I'm so excited
17:26
Speaker 1: to have her on. We're going to talk about this
17:29
Speaker 1: time of year. It's supposed to be amazing and cheerful
17:33
Speaker 1: and you have like you know your we have Honukkah
17:36
Speaker 1: that's happening, we have Christmas coming up. It's supposed to
17:40
Speaker 1: be a very enjoyable time, but it's very stressful. A
17:43
Speaker 1: lot of people slip into depression during this time. I
17:47
Speaker 1: am going to have her help us navigate through all
17:51
Speaker 1: of this and just shed a little bit of light.
17:53
Speaker 1: And again, I want us all to feel like we're
17:56
Speaker 1: bonded through this podcast because we all share a lot
17:59
Speaker 1: of the same struggles. That is the point of doing
18:02
Speaker 1: this podcast. So when we come back, we have one
18:06
Speaker 1: of my angels, doctor Stacy Cohen. Now we are back
18:13
Speaker 1: with a woman who really saved my life, doctor Stacy Cohen. Stacy,
18:21
Speaker 1: I don't know if you remember this. You were the
18:24
Speaker 1: person that I had a session with and you gave
18:30
Speaker 1: me a phone number to call because we had spoken
18:32
Speaker 1: about my drinking. And I said, are you asking me
18:36
Speaker 1: to be sober? And you said, I'm not asking you
18:38
Speaker 1: to do anything. I just want you to take this
18:40
Speaker 1: number in case you ever need it. That was on
18:43
Speaker 1: a Friday, and I use that phone number the following Monday.
18:46
Speaker 4: Of course I remember.
18:48
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, I just so you you're like one
18:53
Speaker 1: of my angels. I always say that. And now we're
18:57
Speaker 1: going into the holidays, and you know, people like to drink,
19:03
Speaker 1: they like to be merry. But I know that a
19:07
Speaker 1: lot of my followers and listeners always wonder how to
19:11
Speaker 1: navigate because depression and anxiety. They don't care if it's
19:14
Speaker 1: Christmas or Hanukkah. They it comes as it feels it
19:20
Speaker 1: wants to How do you tell people to navigate these emotions?
19:25
Speaker 1: And and I the illness is that I struggle with
19:30
Speaker 1: whether it's Christmas or not. You know, how how do
19:33
Speaker 1: we how do we navigate during this time?
19:35
Speaker 4: Well, I think you're exactly right.
19:37
Speaker 3: Depression and anxiety they don't They don't decide when to come,
19:41
Speaker 3: although they come oftentimes more frequently during the holidays.
19:47
Speaker 1: Actually, why is that.
19:50
Speaker 3: Sometimes times that might feel the best are also the
19:53
Speaker 3: most stressful, right, you know, sometimes our highs or our
19:57
Speaker 3: ups or you know, are are also you know, cortisol
20:02
Speaker 3: is released whether things are high or low, bad or good.
20:06
Speaker 3: When things aren't just kind of balanced, we get stressed.
20:11
Speaker 3: So it's very common that anxiety and depression creep up
20:14
Speaker 3: during those times. It's also times where we're triggered more.
20:18
Speaker 3: We tend to regress and sort of be brought back
20:21
Speaker 3: back to childhood traumas and whatnot when we're around family
20:25
Speaker 3: because we're reminded of things from the past. Sometimes those
20:29
Speaker 3: are good things, but sometimes those are difficult things. So
20:33
Speaker 3: a lot of times people aren't aware of all these
20:36
Speaker 3: sort of reasons that we're propelled backwards, or that our
20:40
Speaker 3: bodies are going to be more stressed and we're going
20:42
Speaker 3: to be more prone to things like anxiety and depression.
20:45
Speaker 1: Right, And I feel that same way. And it's so
20:48
Speaker 1: funny because you know I used to I don't want
20:52
Speaker 1: to say I used to. I still love the holidays,
20:55
Speaker 1: but they obviously are not as magical as they once were,
21:00
Speaker 1: you know, like they're just different. And you know, now
21:04
Speaker 1: I have a family, and I have the pressures and
21:08
Speaker 1: stresses of decorating the house and oh, we have to
21:13
Speaker 1: get this person a gift, and it's almost like we
21:17
Speaker 1: lose what this time is really about, which is what
21:22
Speaker 1: I loved when I was a child. You know, I
21:24
Speaker 1: wasn't into really getting gifts. That wasn't my big thing.
21:27
Speaker 1: I loved, you know, the Christmas dinners that we went
21:30
Speaker 1: to and being around groups of people. But as you
21:34
Speaker 1: get older, like it's your job now to plan these
21:37
Speaker 1: things and that is a lot of pressure. Do you
21:40
Speaker 1: find that a lot of moms or just women in
21:44
Speaker 1: general that are kind of in my age group, your
21:46
Speaker 1: age group, that are like this is too much?
21:49
Speaker 3: Yes, absolutely. And it starts like a month or two
21:53
Speaker 3: before the holidays. It almost starts before Halloween really that early, yeah,
22:01
Speaker 3: because people are first stressing about Halloween, and then they
22:04
Speaker 3: realize that Thanksgiving is coming around the corner, and then
22:07
Speaker 3: it's Christmas and there's a lot of either travel or
22:13
Speaker 3: events or you know, things to decorate for, get gifts for,
22:17
Speaker 3: you know, everything you're talking about.
22:18
Speaker 4: It's a disruption and our routine.
22:19
Speaker 1: Right, And I've found that myself and people that are
22:23
Speaker 1: like me, we like our routine, we like our structure,
22:26
Speaker 1: and when things are kind of thrown off balance is
22:28
Speaker 1: when we start to spiral. Do you find that when
22:33
Speaker 1: during this time of year, I mean, are people you
22:35
Speaker 1: know double booking you, They're like, instead of one session
22:38
Speaker 1: this week, I'm going to need like four.
22:41
Speaker 3: It's definitely the busiest time of year for us as
22:44
Speaker 3: mental health providers. And I think, you know, I think
22:46
Speaker 3: people lose track of a lot of the things that
22:49
Speaker 3: keep them well, like, for example, exercise or meditation or
22:54
Speaker 3: seeing you know, the friends in our lives that help
22:57
Speaker 3: keep things together. Maybe they're gone, or maybe we can't
23:00
Speaker 3: see them because we're traveling or whatnot. Those things that
23:03
Speaker 3: usually hold us together we tend to lose sight of
23:06
Speaker 3: because we're busy doing other things.
23:08
Speaker 1: That makes so much sense because then you think about
23:11
Speaker 1: after the holiday, for everyone's New Year's resolution, it's always like,
23:14
Speaker 1: I'm going to get back to working out, this is
23:16
Speaker 1: I'm going to start meditating again. So we do kind
23:18
Speaker 1: of fall off the wagon a little bit.
23:21
Speaker 3: Absolutely, and our meals are very different. Our sugar intakes
23:24
Speaker 3: very high.
23:25
Speaker 1: All the pie in the world.
23:27
Speaker 4: Oh exactly.
23:29
Speaker 1: I'm going into my first holiday in many years as
23:36
Speaker 1: a single mom, and that to me, you know, I
23:41
Speaker 1: feel like I should be a little bit more concerned
23:44
Speaker 1: about it. I'm actually feeling very peaceful. Who knows, as
23:51
Speaker 1: the holiday gets closer, I may start realizing, holy shit,
23:58
Speaker 1: what advice because I'm getting a lot of DM since
24:00
Speaker 1: my life has kind of changed. Women that are going
24:03
Speaker 1: into their first holiday as single moms, or even if
24:09
Speaker 1: they're not moms, they're just going into a holiday without
24:11
Speaker 1: a partner. What advice can you can you give to
24:17
Speaker 1: me and women that are in my same position.
24:20
Speaker 4: I think we have.
24:21
Speaker 3: We need to take the wins. So if you're feeling
24:23
Speaker 3: good right now, celebrate that. Oh I love relish in
24:27
Speaker 3: it because I because there's gonna be hard times. And
24:30
Speaker 3: then there's gonna be good times, and there's gonna be
24:32
Speaker 3: hard times, and there's gonna be blot of times. And this,
24:35
Speaker 3: I mean, the last few years, everything's been flipped upside
24:38
Speaker 3: down for so many people. So when you feel good,
24:42
Speaker 3: enjoy it, like let yourself enjoy it, you know. I
24:45
Speaker 3: heard you say, like maybe I shouldn't be feeling so good,
24:48
Speaker 3: you know, let yourself enjoy it, be in it, be present.
24:52
Speaker 3: I know that when it's not that easy, it's also
24:55
Speaker 3: gonna go way too, you know.
24:57
Speaker 1: You know, I I think a lot of sit here
25:00
Speaker 1: and when we're not worried about something, just the day
25:03
Speaker 1: and age we live in, it's like something's wrong. Why
25:06
Speaker 1: am I not worried about something? It almost feels like,
25:08
Speaker 1: wait a minute, like I'm bored right now, But the
25:12
Speaker 1: bored is actually me feeling good and I'm supposed to
25:15
Speaker 1: be stressed. And Also, I love what you said because
25:18
Speaker 1: this goes back to what I learn in my program
25:21
Speaker 1: of AA is that feelings and places and all of
25:27
Speaker 1: that is it's only temporary. I think that that's hard
25:31
Speaker 1: for people to remember. Sometimes we feel very stuck in it. Yeah,
25:36
Speaker 1: And I'm sure you have a lot of people that
25:38
Speaker 1: come to you and they say, how do I stop
25:41
Speaker 1: feeling this way? And you're a psychiatrist, so you have
25:46
Speaker 1: the ability to write prescriptions and things like that. Do
25:50
Speaker 1: you have people come in and you're like, you don't
25:52
Speaker 1: need a prescription, You're just going to come in here
25:53
Speaker 1: and we're going to talk, because I don't think that
25:55
Speaker 1: we need to go that route.
25:57
Speaker 3: All the time. I joke that I'm taking people off
25:59
Speaker 3: of me. It's just as often as I'm putting people
26:01
Speaker 3: on meds, because the minute you tell someone you're a psychiatrist, like, oh,
26:05
Speaker 3: you're a shrink, You're the one with a prescription pad, right,
26:09
Speaker 3: And I'm actually an addiction psychiatrist, so I see people
26:12
Speaker 3: who have become addicted to medications from other psychiatrists quite often,
26:18
Speaker 3: which is wild. So oftentimes the solution is not in
26:22
Speaker 3: the pills. Sometimes it is, so you know, sometimes it's
26:24
Speaker 3: a bull and you know, sometimes there's really clearly something
26:28
Speaker 3: that will benefit from medication, and you need to get
26:32
Speaker 3: your brought up an exercise, you need to go to therapy,
26:34
Speaker 3: you need to go to AA, you need to stop drinking.
26:37
Speaker 1: Right, all of those things matter.
26:39
Speaker 3: Yeah, exactly, And sometimes the medication is life changing too,
26:43
Speaker 3: I know, definitely don't want an auth medications. It's just
26:46
Speaker 3: that's what's so tricky about my job, you know, cardiologist,
26:49
Speaker 3: we know every little bit of the heart and what's
26:52
Speaker 3: wrong and how to fix it. We don't know that
26:54
Speaker 3: about the brain and the mood, you know, and the
26:57
Speaker 3: temperament and your body.
26:59
Speaker 4: It's all connected. Then it's so messy and it's so confusing.
27:02
Speaker 1: Well, I know, the mind is a very complex thing
27:05
Speaker 1: and it can talk you in and out of a
27:08
Speaker 1: lot of different things. So during this time of year,
27:12
Speaker 1: if people come into you and they've never needed medication
27:15
Speaker 1: before and then all of the sudden they're like, this
27:18
Speaker 1: is too much for me, Like how do you navigate
27:21
Speaker 1: through something like that? Because as a sober person, there
27:25
Speaker 1: are times where I'll be venting to my sponsor or
27:28
Speaker 1: somebody and like a friend, and they'll say, you know,
27:32
Speaker 1: maybe at this time this would help. And because I'm
27:36
Speaker 1: sober and I'm very into my sobriety, I just feel
27:39
Speaker 1: like I would rather just talk to someone and we
27:42
Speaker 1: work through it that way. And I'm not knocking medication either.
27:44
Speaker 1: I've definitely been on anti anxiety antidepressants, got it. It
27:50
Speaker 1: is a lifesaver. And life changing for many people. But
27:53
Speaker 1: during this time, how do you say, you know, it's
27:56
Speaker 1: just this is a situational depression.
28:00
Speaker 4: Right, Yeah.
28:01
Speaker 3: It really depends on the severity of the symptoms, the
28:05
Speaker 3: duration of the symptoms, how problematic they are for people's lives.
28:09
Speaker 3: Everything in this big book that I don't really love,
28:12
Speaker 3: but that we use to diagnose things. But of course
28:14
Speaker 3: no one ever fits the cookie cutter picture of a diagnosis.
28:18
Speaker 3: But almost every diagnosis says to the extent that it's
28:22
Speaker 3: impairing functioning because we all, you know, get nervous, we
28:27
Speaker 3: get butterflies in our belly, we get you know, our
28:30
Speaker 3: chest starts pounding, We are afraid to do things, but
28:33
Speaker 3: we don't all have generalized anxiety disorder. Anxiety is an
28:37
Speaker 3: important tool. It tells us what's safe and what's not.
28:39
Speaker 3: But sometimes it tells us that things aren't safe, but
28:42
Speaker 3: they really are, you know, sometimes there's a misfiring.
28:45
Speaker 1: Wow, can I tell you I've never I've never heard
28:49
Speaker 1: that before the first part where you said that there
28:54
Speaker 1: is a benefit to anxiety, because there's it's it can
28:58
Speaker 1: tell us when we're safe and when we're not safe.
29:01
Speaker 1: You know, Yeah, that feeling that we get in our chest,
29:04
Speaker 1: that goes into our gut, letting us know like something's
29:08
Speaker 1: not right. Wow, I actually really love that I had.
29:13
Speaker 1: I'd never even thought of it that way. So it
29:16
Speaker 1: does sometimes play in our favor. And what I'm wondering is,
29:21
Speaker 1: you know, at what point does that usually go back
29:24
Speaker 1: to childhood trauma. At what point do you say, Okay,
29:27
Speaker 1: this anxiety is now not on your side, This is
29:31
Speaker 1: now affecting your day to day life, and you're thinking
29:33
Speaker 1: you're not safe in any situation.
29:36
Speaker 3: Right, Yeah, when it gets to that point of being excessive,
29:40
Speaker 3: where it's causing problems in our relationships, where it's causing
29:44
Speaker 3: us not to be able to do things that we
29:46
Speaker 3: enjoy doing, like people that won't leave the house because
29:49
Speaker 3: they're too anxious or they're always late, or they won't
29:51
Speaker 3: make new friends, or they won't talk to people in
29:54
Speaker 3: class or at work, or they can't sleep or they
29:57
Speaker 3: can't eat. So it's it's truly like a bundle of criteria,
30:02
Speaker 3: and when you have enough that it's problematic, then we
30:06
Speaker 3: start to say, Okay, maybe this would benefit from therapy.
30:09
Speaker 4: Therapy is the start.
30:10
Speaker 3: When it's like mild to moderate, we start with therapy
30:14
Speaker 3: and then maybe we move into medication and actually exercise
30:17
Speaker 3: can be more effective than medication.
30:19
Speaker 1: You know, I always said I don't work out for
30:22
Speaker 1: my body. That's kind of like the bonus. I work
30:26
Speaker 1: out for my mental health because there's just something about
30:30
Speaker 1: it that makes me feel like I can take on
30:32
Speaker 1: the rest of the day.
30:33
Speaker 4: Yeah, me too.
30:35
Speaker 1: So with the state that we're in because we went
30:39
Speaker 1: we have been in you know, lockdown for over a year,
30:43
Speaker 1: we're starting to come out of our shell again. I mean,
30:47
Speaker 1: I'm sure that you have had people show up in
30:50
Speaker 1: your office that are like, I don't know how to
30:53
Speaker 1: function out there anymore. I've lost all of my social skills. Definitely,
31:00
Speaker 1: how do we get back to being normal? Like, what
31:02
Speaker 1: is your advice?
31:03
Speaker 3: You know, we we walked into this slowly, you know.
31:07
Speaker 3: I remember we were all buying toilet paper.
31:10
Speaker 4: We thought it would be like a two week.
31:11
Speaker 3: Thing, you know, and we were in and out, but
31:14
Speaker 3: we weren't really like super careful. And then all of
31:16
Speaker 3: a sudden, people, you know, I have friends of mine
31:18
Speaker 3: who were spraying down their groceries before they were allowed
31:21
Speaker 3: to bring in the house. I mean all sorts of
31:24
Speaker 3: I wasn't doing that, but people were doing that. So
31:27
Speaker 3: we we all walked into this at different paces, but
31:30
Speaker 3: it didn't happen overnight. We started hearing about it, and
31:34
Speaker 3: then we started getting a little scared, and then there
31:36
Speaker 3: were some like shocking, you know moments where.
31:39
Speaker 4: We kind of locked down.
31:40
Speaker 3: But then we were out and then there was a
31:42
Speaker 3: you know, recurrence that we're back in. And so it's
31:45
Speaker 3: the same thing with getting back to life. We don't
31:47
Speaker 3: just suddenly proof we're you know, life is how it was.
31:51
Speaker 3: We have to sort of step in slowly at our
31:53
Speaker 3: own pace, and everyone's going to do that a little
31:55
Speaker 3: bit differently, and we need to be kind to ourselves
31:58
Speaker 3: and gentle.
32:00
Speaker 1: On the hardest part.
32:02
Speaker 3: Yes, that is the hardest part, because we might go
32:05
Speaker 3: and it might not make sense to anyone. It's kind
32:07
Speaker 3: of like the whole boundary thing we learn about. We
32:09
Speaker 3: need to set boundaries and they may not make sense
32:12
Speaker 3: to anyone else, but they're for us and they make
32:13
Speaker 3: us healthier. You know, I might go to one thing
32:16
Speaker 3: and then not be comfortable the next day going to
32:18
Speaker 3: the other because I heard about Overcrown on the news
32:20
Speaker 3: or whatever, you.
32:21
Speaker 4: Know, and someone might be upset.
32:23
Speaker 3: I was speaking of friends and they were upset because,
32:26
Speaker 3: you know, they found out their friends went to this
32:28
Speaker 3: wedding and then they didn't come to their house for
32:30
Speaker 3: the holidays. But you know what, it's it's a one
32:32
Speaker 3: day at a time sort of thing, and we need
32:35
Speaker 3: to just be gentle.
32:37
Speaker 1: Be gentle. I I. Oh, it's so funny because I'm
32:41
Speaker 1: very good at preaching, not so great at practicing what
32:45
Speaker 1: I'm preaching. But there are times where I sit there
32:49
Speaker 1: and I do feel comfortable going to the mall one day,
32:53
Speaker 1: got my mask on, and then my friend is having
32:55
Speaker 1: a get together and I'm like, but I don't feel
32:57
Speaker 1: I don't know that I feel comfortable doing that. Almost
33:00
Speaker 1: have to be careful what you're posting on social media
33:02
Speaker 1: because you don't want to have to explain yourself. But
33:05
Speaker 1: you're right, I think being kind to each other and
33:07
Speaker 1: just allowing people to get back into this routine that
33:12
Speaker 1: was really taken away. I mean most of us. I know,
33:14
Speaker 1: I did throughout COVID, which lasted, like you said, way
33:18
Speaker 1: longer than we expected. All I did was watch TV
33:22
Speaker 1: and like feed my face, you know, so to ask
33:26
Speaker 1: me to go socialize with a group of people after
33:29
Speaker 1: doing that for over a year is like, oh my gosh,
33:32
Speaker 1: we're back, you know, holiday parties. I don't even know
33:36
Speaker 1: what to ask people.
33:38
Speaker 3: Yeah, No, it's tough. And then we're also going through
33:41
Speaker 3: normal way. I mean, you had a baby, I had
33:43
Speaker 3: a baby.
33:44
Speaker 1: Congratulations you had a baby girl as well.
33:47
Speaker 3: Yes, they're on the same age and we're going through
33:50
Speaker 3: all that too. Yeah, and everyone else is going through
33:54
Speaker 3: their own things too, you know. So it's it's already hard,
34:00
Speaker 3: and there are some gifts. I mean, we were taught
34:02
Speaker 3: to slow down. We were taught we don't have to
34:05
Speaker 3: go travel and be everywhere and be everything and do
34:07
Speaker 3: everything and life still.
34:08
Speaker 4: Goes on, right, you know, we learned to sit still,
34:13
Speaker 4: some of us, Right.
34:14
Speaker 1: I think that was the biggest thing is for me
34:17
Speaker 1: is being able to just be, which, you know, with
34:23
Speaker 1: how much is out there and everything is so accessible,
34:26
Speaker 1: just like that, to just have to sit with your
34:29
Speaker 1: own thoughts for a minute and be okay was actually
34:33
Speaker 1: very amazing.
34:35
Speaker 4: You know.
34:36
Speaker 1: That's what I gained from COVID And I just want
34:39
Speaker 1: to know. You are a new mom and you're going
34:41
Speaker 1: into the holidays. You're a working mom who's solving other
34:45
Speaker 1: people's mental health problems. You're the solution to that. I mean,
34:51
Speaker 1: how do you navigate this time of year or any
34:54
Speaker 1: time of year with your job and being a new mom.
34:57
Speaker 3: Yeah. Listen, we're not immune just because we're helping people
35:00
Speaker 3: from needing our own help. So that means for me,
35:03
Speaker 3: that means meditation, that means exercise. Did yoga this morning
35:09
Speaker 3: in between taking care of my baby? Wow, that means therapy.
35:15
Speaker 3: That means friends. For me, friends are huge.
35:19
Speaker 1: Yeah, I kind of exit your day to day have
35:23
Speaker 1: them get your mind off things.
35:25
Speaker 4: Yeah.
35:26
Speaker 1: And a lot of sleep.
35:27
Speaker 4: A lot of sleep. Yeah, and asking for help.
35:31
Speaker 1: I think a lot of people get nervous to ask
35:33
Speaker 1: for help.
35:34
Speaker 3: Yes, well, and it was it became difficult, I think
35:37
Speaker 3: for people during the pandemic to ask for.
35:39
Speaker 1: Help absolutely because it was like there was there was
35:44
Speaker 1: nothing for you to feel like was wrong. The whole
35:47
Speaker 1: world was shut down, and it was like, why am
35:49
Speaker 1: I feeling this way when you know on days that
35:53
Speaker 1: I was working, I would have prayed for this day
35:55
Speaker 1: to not be able to do anything. So it was
35:58
Speaker 1: kind of a mind fuck. Yes, you know. On that note,
36:02
Speaker 1: I want to take a very quick break. We will
36:04
Speaker 1: be right back with one of my angels. Doctor Stacy Cohen.
36:11
Speaker 1: We are back with doctor Stacy Cohen. We are talking
36:15
Speaker 1: about how to navigate our anxiety, our depression, just all
36:20
Speaker 1: of our feels through this time of year, a time
36:24
Speaker 1: that's supposed to be you know, everyone's out skipping on
36:26
Speaker 1: the street, We're buying presents, kids are excited for Santa Claus,
36:29
Speaker 1: people are celebrating Hanukkah, lighting the Manora, and then you
36:34
Speaker 1: just sometimes sit there and go, why the fuck am
36:37
Speaker 1: I feeling so down when it's like the happiest time
36:39
Speaker 1: of year. So Doctor Cohen and I are telling you guys,
36:43
Speaker 1: well I'm just listening and taking note, but doctor Cohen
36:46
Speaker 1: is helping us navigate through this time. So my other
36:50
Speaker 1: thing was because we were talking about being kind to
36:54
Speaker 1: ourselves during this time, and I actually think at this
36:59
Speaker 1: time of years when people get the most bitchy. Do
37:05
Speaker 1: you find that that happens when you have someone come
37:09
Speaker 1: in your office and you're like, Okay, she is very
37:11
Speaker 1: triggered by the holidays. He is very triggered by the holidays.
37:15
Speaker 1: We've got to work through. Do you go back to like,
37:18
Speaker 1: why are you triggered during the holidays? I'm sure sometimes
37:20
Speaker 1: it goes very deep sometimes I'm sure it's as simple
37:23
Speaker 1: as like, this is just stressful period. It doesn't have
37:27
Speaker 1: anything to do with childhood trauma. I'm just stressed out.
37:30
Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean, I'm in my childhood. I'm still home
37:33
Speaker 3: for the holidays right now. My childhood. I love that,
37:38
Speaker 3: and I'm very apropos of what we're talking about. And
37:42
Speaker 3: my sister's family was here with her three kids. We
37:44
Speaker 3: were all under one room for Thanksgiving.
37:48
Speaker 1: Was it chaotic?
37:49
Speaker 4: Totally chaotic, but.
37:51
Speaker 1: Like the fun type of chaotic because that was something
37:54
Speaker 1: I liked. But again, now we're grown women, but when
37:57
Speaker 1: I was a kid, I loved the chaos.
37:59
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's a both, and I mean it's like you're
38:02
Speaker 3: excited to come home and see everyone, and then you
38:04
Speaker 3: you like sort of have amnesia.
38:06
Speaker 4: You forget all the bad stuff that happens every year, and.
38:09
Speaker 3: Then you come back and it's all on your face
38:10
Speaker 3: again and you're like, oh, yeah, this is fine.
38:12
Speaker 1: I left, right, So do you stay through? I believe
38:19
Speaker 1: you're Jewish?
38:20
Speaker 4: Correct, Yeah, I'm here.
38:21
Speaker 3: So we had Hanakhah and then I, okay, I'm giving
38:24
Speaker 3: a talk in the Midwest, so I just kind of
38:25
Speaker 3: stayed here.
38:26
Speaker 4: So I'm here long stay and you.
38:28
Speaker 1: Have your daughter with you. Yes, Oh my gosh, you're
38:32
Speaker 1: like a rock star.
38:33
Speaker 4: And I too am missing a mom so I get it.
38:37
Speaker 1: Wow, I'm can you inspire me? And we sit here
38:42
Speaker 1: and we're like, how did we end up here? And
38:45
Speaker 1: then you go back to that moment. Oh, yes, that
38:48
Speaker 1: is how, and then you have all the strength in
38:49
Speaker 1: the world and you just push forward, working, you saving
38:53
Speaker 1: people's minds.
38:54
Speaker 4: You just do it.
38:57
Speaker 1: I mean, I think that the reason I love doing
39:01
Speaker 1: this podcast and the reason I'm so grateful to have
39:04
Speaker 1: you on is this creates a space for us to
39:08
Speaker 1: really talk about things that we don't normally talk about,
39:12
Speaker 1: and creates a space for us to bond and be
39:15
Speaker 1: real and authentic because right now, the only thing we
39:18
Speaker 1: really have is our cell phones, and we all know
39:20
Speaker 1: that social media is not real life. This is where
39:23
Speaker 1: I want people to come to hear real life. So
39:26
Speaker 1: that being said, I want to know your take because
39:29
Speaker 1: we were talking about how no one wanted Most people
39:32
Speaker 1: don't want to talk about their feelings and they don't
39:35
Speaker 1: want to ask for help. Do you feel like mental
39:41
Speaker 1: illness is still a taboo?
39:44
Speaker 3: I think it's getting much better. I mean, I was
39:47
Speaker 3: watching football. I like football, but football was on in
39:51
Speaker 3: the background of my holidays, and there was a commercial
39:55
Speaker 3: where the football players were talking about their mental health.
39:58
Speaker 3: So I don't know if you saw it, it was like,
40:00
Speaker 3: it was amazing. It was really amazing.
40:03
Speaker 1: I have chills about So it was a commercial about
40:05
Speaker 1: them talking about their mental health and.
40:07
Speaker 3: Yeah, and it was just about getting help from mental
40:10
Speaker 3: I mean, it was just it was like a proud
40:12
Speaker 3: mama as a psychiatrist in MoMA moment, so happy to
40:16
Speaker 3: see because I've seen, you know, a number of athletes
40:19
Speaker 3: struggling with mental illness, but to see it front and center,
40:23
Speaker 3: you know, for the world to see, right these men
40:25
Speaker 3: there that are inspiring young boys that would never be
40:28
Speaker 3: talking about their problems, you know it. It made me
40:32
Speaker 3: so proud and so happy. So I do think I
40:34
Speaker 3: have a chills.
40:36
Speaker 1: Yeah, that makes me. I'm so glad you shared that
40:39
Speaker 1: with me, because I also do not watch football, so
40:43
Speaker 1: I don't think I ever would have seen that, but
40:45
Speaker 1: that sounds amazing. I'm so happy that they decided to
40:49
Speaker 1: put that in the forefront. I I realized that mental
40:55
Speaker 1: health wasn't talked about as much as I thought it was.
40:59
Speaker 1: I grew up in a very open household, and my
41:01
Speaker 1: friends were very open, and you know, I just that's
41:04
Speaker 1: the way I grew up. And I remember my second
41:08
Speaker 1: season on the show I'm On I opened up about
41:12
Speaker 1: my anxiety, and I just I didn't think anything of it.
41:15
Speaker 1: I just kind of made a statement. I was upset that,
41:18
Speaker 1: you know, I was taught, not upset that I was
41:22
Speaker 1: talking about it. I was just upset and sharing my
41:24
Speaker 1: anxiety and the amount of DMS and just the response
41:28
Speaker 1: I got was overwhelmingly beautiful. But it was also kind
41:33
Speaker 1: of like, why are people saying thank you for opening
41:37
Speaker 1: up about this? Because I totally thought we were in
41:40
Speaker 1: a time where this was just like, let's talk about it.
41:44
Speaker 1: Let's be open about our anxiety and our depression and
41:47
Speaker 1: where our minds are. And so I wanted to get
41:50
Speaker 1: your take on that, and I agree. I think it
41:53
Speaker 1: used to be taboo, but things are getting better. And
41:57
Speaker 1: I also love that we're focused on the fact that
42:01
Speaker 1: it's these grown men who are athletes that are talking
42:05
Speaker 1: about their mental health.
42:08
Speaker 3: Yeah.
42:09
Speaker 4: Wow, a huge step, A huge step, A huge step.
42:13
Speaker 1: And how long have you been in this business? How
42:17
Speaker 1: long have you been a psychiatrist for.
42:19
Speaker 3: So I've been working independently on around since twenty thirteen.
42:23
Speaker 3: I was in training for years before that.
42:26
Speaker 1: Wow, and you have always done this in the Los
42:30
Speaker 1: Angeles area or do you travel in them?
42:33
Speaker 3: I did some of my training in Chicago, and then, yeah,
42:35
Speaker 3: I've been in LA ever since I started.
42:38
Speaker 4: Boy, oh boy, is it a big place to treat
42:40
Speaker 4: mental health and addiction.
42:42
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh. I can only imagine, because I remember
42:46
Speaker 1: coming into your office that day, and you know, I
42:51
Speaker 1: had come to the realization in that moment quote unquote,
42:55
Speaker 1: I had just you know, decided for myself, you like
42:59
Speaker 1: drinking and that's okay, and you have fun and once
43:03
Speaker 1: you get pregnant is when you'll stop drinking. Like that
43:07
Speaker 1: was my sick thought process.
43:09
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's very common.
43:11
Speaker 1: Is it common?
43:12
Speaker 3: Yeah to think that, uh huh wow, Well it's kind
43:15
Speaker 3: of the like, when this happens, then I'll do you know.
43:18
Speaker 3: It's that sort of thinking.
43:20
Speaker 1: Okay, okay, I could totally see that, and I'm sure
43:23
Speaker 1: that is there like a specific time of year. I
43:27
Speaker 1: remember at one of my AA meetings there. It was
43:31
Speaker 1: a huge one online and there were like thirty birthdays
43:37
Speaker 1: that were happening in October and that's when I got sober.
43:42
Speaker 1: Is there a specific month or time of year that
43:45
Speaker 1: you can pinpoint where you're like, Okay, this is when
43:48
Speaker 1: most people start realizing that they want to get sober.
43:52
Speaker 4: That's interesting. I mean, I think it's different for everyone.
43:56
Speaker 3: The holidays can be a time of more problem so
44:00
Speaker 3: a lot of times after the holidays, you know, after
44:03
Speaker 3: the holidays resolution.
44:05
Speaker 4: Yeah, I don't know what that October situation was.
44:08
Speaker 1: I didn't either, and I had asked my sponsor and
44:10
Speaker 1: she goes, yes, a lot of people get sober in
44:13
Speaker 1: October because they say that they're not entering another holiday
44:16
Speaker 1: season the way they used to be.
44:20
Speaker 4: News to me.
44:21
Speaker 1: That was news to me too.
44:22
Speaker 4: Yeah.
44:23
Speaker 3: Yeah, there's so many gems in AA that we don't
44:26
Speaker 3: study because we're not really like allowed to a great
44:30
Speaker 3: sort of secret society that it is, which is it's amazing.
44:34
Speaker 4: No, I agree, there's so much to learn there.
44:39
Speaker 1: I love that, But I could I notice with some
44:43
Speaker 1: of my friends, you know, you we live in La
44:46
Speaker 1: number one, there's something going on all the time, always
44:48
Speaker 1: an excuse to have a cocktail. It's like it's a
44:51
Speaker 1: Monday at three o'clock and someone's having some freaking gifting
44:56
Speaker 1: suite with fabulous cocktails. Then the holidays roll around and
45:01
Speaker 1: it's like time to blow it the fuck out, like
45:07
Speaker 1: we're like we're drinking. That's just how it is. I
45:09
Speaker 1: remember last week we did an episode, me and my assistant,
45:14
Speaker 1: and she was asking me what my Thanksgiving tradition used
45:17
Speaker 1: to be, and I said, drinking.
45:20
Speaker 3: Obviously, so common people who struggle with the alcohol used
45:23
Speaker 3: to sort of. They will pinpoint exactly what drinks they
45:26
Speaker 3: had and what time of day and what they would
45:27
Speaker 3: drink for each holiday.
45:28
Speaker 1: They'll know, of course wild, it's wild. I can pinpoint,
45:33
Speaker 1: like you wake up, you start with the coffee and Bailey's,
45:36
Speaker 1: then you graduate to the mimosas. Then as it starts
45:40
Speaker 1: getting to be lunchtime, you want your little bloody Mary
45:43
Speaker 1: because that's, you know, more savory. I just remember it
45:47
Speaker 1: like it was yesterday and now I'm going into my
45:50
Speaker 1: third holiday.
45:52
Speaker 4: Graul.
45:53
Speaker 1: No, well thanks to you.
45:55
Speaker 4: I'm just like you did it. I didn't do much.
45:58
Speaker 1: I mean you open and you opened that door and
46:02
Speaker 1: I don't know if that would have happened for me
46:06
Speaker 1: without you. And sorry I'm getting emotional about it.
46:10
Speaker 4: I love that.
46:12
Speaker 1: I'm beyond grateful for you. I wrote about you in
46:17
Speaker 1: my book.
46:18
Speaker 4: Oh you did.
46:20
Speaker 1: I'm so sorry, you know, please don't read it. Please
46:22
Speaker 1: don't read the book. I just know you're in there,
46:25
Speaker 1: and I'm forever grateful and I'm so happy that you
46:29
Speaker 1: could do the podcast with me today and make people
46:32
Speaker 1: feel safe and like it's okay to struggle at this time.
46:35
Speaker 1: But we got this, everybody. We're going to go into
46:38
Speaker 1: the holidays and we're going to feel our feels and
46:40
Speaker 1: we're going to remember what doctor Cohen said, Everything is temporary,
46:45
Speaker 1: Doctor Cohen, thank you so so much.
46:48
Speaker 4: Thank you.
46:48
Speaker 3: I'm so I'm so inspired by you. And honestly, the
46:51
Speaker 3: star power, I mean, one of the cool things about LA.
46:54
Speaker 3: As much as there's a cocktail at every event, there's
46:56
Speaker 3: also a sober person on every corner.
47:00
Speaker 4: Talking about it. And I think the star.
47:02
Speaker 3: Power in sobriety is really incredible and helps a lot
47:05
Speaker 3: of young people, people people of allayed just get sober
47:08
Speaker 3: because they hear people.
47:09
Speaker 4: Like you talking about it. So so proud of you
47:12
Speaker 4: and happy for you.
47:13
Speaker 1: Thank you so much. I'll let you go enjoy your day,
47:16
Speaker 1: enjoy your gorgeous baby, and again, thank you so much.
47:19
Speaker 4: You take care, thank you, I talked about it,