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Compare At Your Own Demise (Podcast) · The Providers Playbook Podcast

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: Comparison sucks.
• 0:02
  SPEAKER_00: Comparison is ugly.
• 0:05
  SPEAKER_00: Comparison is disempowering.
• 0:11
  SPEAKER_00: Comparison hurts you.
• 0:14
  SPEAKER_00: It's a game you lose all the fucking time.
• 0:17
  SPEAKER_00: And that's what I wrote about this week.
• 0:19
  SPEAKER_00: Comparison.
• 0:21
  SPEAKER_00: Hello, my beautiful providers.
• 0:24
  SPEAKER_00: It's Sunday.
• 0:25
  SPEAKER_00: Podcast time.
• 0:26
  SPEAKER_00: Turn me up or turn me off.
• 0:28
  SPEAKER_00: Let's fucking go.
• 0:32
  SPEAKER_00: Years ago, I remember as a kid, you know, I'm just an average at best athlete.
• 0:39
  SPEAKER_00: Nothing, no gifts or anything of that nature.
• 0:43
  SPEAKER_00: So I would talk to my mom or dad and I'd say, geez, man, I can't do this or somebody did that.
• 0:51
  SPEAKER_00: And I do remember,
• 0:52
  SPEAKER_00: I don't remember which one,
• 0:53
  SPEAKER_00: maybe it was my grandpa or But somebody had told me along the way in my youth
• 0:59
  SPEAKER_00: that there's always going to be somebody stronger.
• 1:01
  SPEAKER_00: There's always going to be someone taller.
• 1:03
  SPEAKER_00: There's always going to be someone faster.
• 1:05
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, you fill in the blank there.
• 1:08
  SPEAKER_00: And then I started to say, oh, okay.
• 1:10
  SPEAKER_00: I just have to play with the cards that God gave me.
• 1:14
  SPEAKER_00: And I do have some talents, right?
• 1:16
  SPEAKER_00: So I just sometimes fail to recognize them.
• 1:19
  SPEAKER_00: Or I did when you compare.
• 1:21
  SPEAKER_00: And that's why the topic is so important to me.
• 1:25
  SPEAKER_00: So I learned that lesson early on, thankfully, and just took what I have.
• 1:30
  SPEAKER_00: For example, people in my 20s, my hair was falling out.
• 1:35
  SPEAKER_00: So today I keep it shaved and I'm bald.
• 1:38
  SPEAKER_00: And instead of crying about it, I just said, fuck it.
• 1:42
  SPEAKER_00: I'm going to have a shaved head all the time and embrace it and live it.
• 1:45
  SPEAKER_00: And you know what?
• 1:46
  SPEAKER_00: My confidence went up.
• 1:48
  SPEAKER_00: And then when your confidence goes up, Everything else goes up.
• 1:51
  SPEAKER_00: I've talked about this before.
• 1:53
  SPEAKER_00: And that's why comparison is ugly.
• 1:56
  SPEAKER_00: That's why I use the word ugly.
• 1:58
  SPEAKER_00: You leave feeling inadequate or not worthy.
• 2:04
  SPEAKER_00: And even worse,
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  SPEAKER_00: sometimes it causes people to,
• 2:09
  SPEAKER_00: what I've seen in some friends and peers and family, is you seek extra validations.
• 2:17
  SPEAKER_00: Hey, what did this person do because they've got it right or they had this sort
• 2:22
  SPEAKER_00: of success or they do hit the ball this way?
• 2:25
  SPEAKER_00: Well, you know what?
• 2:26
  SPEAKER_00: Not everybody can hit the ball like Djokovic, okay?
• 2:30
  SPEAKER_00: And if you try, you're probably going to fail because there's only one of him on earth.
• 2:35
  SPEAKER_00: But how about you hit the ball like however you can hit the ball and do the best
• 2:39
  SPEAKER_00: with what you can?
• 2:40
  SPEAKER_00: And again,
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  SPEAKER_00: that's another reason why I just push and I tell my kids and that's why I wrote
• 2:46
  SPEAKER_00: about it today.
• 2:47
  SPEAKER_00: It can just be such a disempowering and ugly thing when you do it.
• 2:51
  SPEAKER_00: So when you recognize it,
• 2:53
  SPEAKER_00: I encourage everyone to immediately stop and snuff it out
• 2:59
  SPEAKER_00: and don't let it enter your mind again.
• 3:02
  SPEAKER_00: Instead,
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  SPEAKER_00: and I use the term in my essay,
• 3:06
  SPEAKER_00: internal lotus of control and asymmetric bets,
• 3:11
  SPEAKER_00: And that Lotus of Control,
• 3:13
  SPEAKER_00: it's a psychological term, but the key word there is internal.
• 3:18
  SPEAKER_00: Because you can have,
• 3:19
  SPEAKER_00: like in the example with the grade,
• 3:21
  SPEAKER_00: and externally focused is something happened to me outside of my control, right?
• 3:28
  SPEAKER_00: There was a A test that was hard.
• 3:31
  SPEAKER_00: A teacher did this.
• 3:33
  SPEAKER_00: A promotion did that.
• 3:35
  SPEAKER_00: Somebody had this.
• 3:36
  SPEAKER_00: And that list can go on.
• 3:38
  SPEAKER_00: And it creates a victim thinking and things being acted upon you where
• 3:45
  SPEAKER_00: the internal one is much more empowering, just like the confidence, right?
• 3:50
  SPEAKER_00: Shave my head.
• 3:51
  SPEAKER_00: The internal one is saying, okay, Yeah,
• 3:54
  SPEAKER_00: those questions might have been hard,
• 3:56
  SPEAKER_00: but now I'm going to adjust how I study to respond to that.
• 4:01
  SPEAKER_00: And that's the key there is looking at it internally.
• 4:05
  SPEAKER_00: The first person you want to ask is yourself, how can I do something?
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  SPEAKER_00: And I promise you,
• 4:12
  SPEAKER_00: I promise you this,
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  SPEAKER_00: when you do that more,
• 4:14
  SPEAKER_00: you will see your confidence go up,
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  SPEAKER_00: you're going to see more results go up,
• 4:20
  SPEAKER_00: and you're going to have a sense of pride in whatever you're doing.
• 4:24
  SPEAKER_00: And then the other part that I think is important,
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  SPEAKER_00: and I think we don't do a much,
• 4:29
  SPEAKER_00: or maybe we discount the value of it, but an asymmetric bet.
• 4:34
  SPEAKER_00: Actually, I love them.
• 4:35
  SPEAKER_00: I love working on this with my customers.
• 4:38
  SPEAKER_00: I use the example of a letter.
• 4:40
  SPEAKER_00: I've done this before.
• 4:41
  SPEAKER_00: Some of them are junk.
• 4:42
  SPEAKER_00: People are going to throw it away, but you know that one I gave simple examples in my essay.
• 4:46
  SPEAKER_00: I'm sure there's many, many more.
• 4:48
  SPEAKER_00: And you know what happens when you start thinking internally?
• 5:01
  SPEAKER_00: You really start thinking of those other bets as a default when you follow up
• 5:06
  SPEAKER_00: because you're thinking, what can I do better?
• 5:08
  SPEAKER_00: You look at your study habits and like,
• 5:10
  SPEAKER_00: maybe if I write down the definitions and read it 10 times before bed,
• 5:15
  SPEAKER_00: they're going to start sticking in my head or whatever you come up with.
• 5:18
  SPEAKER_00: So those are two good examples that I encourage all my listeners to take on.
• 5:25
  SPEAKER_00: All right, that's the update for the week.
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  SPEAKER_00: This week's homework assignment,
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  SPEAKER_00: I want you to make one asymmetric bet
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  SPEAKER_00: and you will see the potential
• 5:40
  SPEAKER_00: for outsized returns.
• 5:43
  SPEAKER_00: And please,
• 5:45
  SPEAKER_00: if you're doing any sort of comparison and it's,
• 5:47
  SPEAKER_00: boy, I don't blame you with social media and other things just today.
• 5:51
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, it's difficult.
• 5:53
  SPEAKER_00: It can be very difficult, but don't do it.
• 5:56
  SPEAKER_00: And if you find yourself doing it, just stop doing it.
• 5:59
  SPEAKER_00: So that's the update for the week.
• 6:01
  SPEAKER_00: You know how I end it.
• 6:03
  SPEAKER_00: Get after your weekend.
• 6:05
  SPEAKER_00: Get some vitamin D. I did that twice today, Sunday.
• 6:09
  SPEAKER_00: Get out there.
• 6:10
  SPEAKER_00: Be with your family.
• 6:11
  SPEAKER_00: Laugh, live, love.
• 6:13
  SPEAKER_00: And if you're new here, check out the link below.
• 6:16
  SPEAKER_00: And there's other information that hopefully all us providers can benefit from.
• 6:22
  SPEAKER_00: Talk to you next week.