Latest / Pretty In Pink Again / Episode 25: "Filtered": Beauty, Body Image, Botox & Being Real in a Touched-Up World

Transcript

Episode 25: "Filtered": Beauty, Body Image, Botox & Being Real in a Touched-Up World · Pretty In Pink Again

• 0:00
  I'm Christina and I'm team.
• 0:01
  And this is the Pretty and Pink Again podcast where Motherhood meets rediscovery.
• 0:17
  Hey.
• 0:18
  Hi.
• 0:18
  How are you?
• 0:19
  I'm better now.
• 0:19
  Oh, good.
• 0:21
  Better now.
• 0:22
  I wish sometimes our listeners could see the behind the scenes of what it takes to sometimes get us in these seats.
• 0:27
  Like we're, I should have filmed a video of the last hour of me laying on the floor, eating my sausage jig and cheese sandwich with you trying to revive me.
• 0:35
  We always pick a day where we're like so ambitious and we're like, yeah, let's record.
• 0:40
  And we always, it always ends up being on a day where we have.
• 0:44
  So she's chugging water out of a water bottle.
• 0:46
  But it always ends up being on a day where we're like, we always just have so much going on.
• 0:52
  One of us always ends up having so much going on.
• 0:55
  And then the other one is trying to bring the other one back to life.
• 0:57
  We could do it.
• 0:58
  We're gonna do it today.
• 0:58
  It's fine.
• 0:59
  We'll record.
• 1:00
  We're done today.
• 1:01
  You were in the other, you were in the driver's seat.
• 1:02
  Yes, I was the driver today.
• 1:03
  So thank you for that.
• 1:04
  Surprise me.
• 1:04
  Thank you for getting stop.
• 1:07
  Usually I'm running in sweating late.
• 1:10
  Oh my God.
• 1:12
  A mess.
• 1:12
  I don't know if our listeners have picked up on this.
• 1:15
  You are very funny.
• 1:16
  I am not you, but No, you are very funny.
• 1:20
  You have such good dry humor.
• 1:21
  It's like you have great one-liners.
• 1:23
  It's, you make me laugh.
• 1:25
  I feel like your humor revives me and that is like one of my favorite things about you is your humor and love you and our ability to laugh.
• 1:33
  To the point where I cry sometimes.
• 1:35
  I'm like, tea, eat a breakfast sandwich.
• 1:39
  We've got it.
• 1:40
  We've got it.
• 1:40
  Okay.
• 1:41
  We have got it.
• 1:44
  Oh my God.
• 1:45
  But tell me, tell me why you're frazzled today.
• 1:48
  Okay.
• 1:48
  We just came off of a family vacation.
• 1:51
  Yeah.
• 1:51
  You were away last week.
• 1:52
  So I keep seeing these like memes and Instagram reels about oh, you have 18 summers with your kids.
• 1:59
  And, you know, oh, my oldest is 12.
• 2:01
  I'm only gonna have six more summers left.
• 2:03
  I, my sisters and I were like, maybe we should make a reel because I'm almost 39 and we still travel with our parents.
• 2:09
  Yeah.
• 2:09
  You guys were all together with your parents, right?
• 2:11
  So my parents rented a house and Narragansett and we like, all went, my, my three sisters and I, my, my one sister has three kids.
• 2:20
  Her husband we all piled into one house and it wasn't like a massive house.
• 2:24
  It was like three bedrooms upstairs, one for each daughter and like their significant other, there was a big I don't even know what, like a loft room for all the kids and they flopped in there.
• 2:34
  And then my parents were downstairs and it was, it was full house.
• 2:38
  It was a house.
• 2:39
  I know.
• 2:39
  It's so fun.
• 2:39
  It's it, all of those memories are, they were wonderful, special, wonderful memories.
• 2:44
  But I am, we just got back last night, but I am toast.
• 2:48
  Toast today.
• 2:49
  Like just I'm pooped.
• 2:51
  I know.
• 2:51
  That's what happens.
• 2:52
  We've been talking about this all summer.
• 2:53
  It's like you get the fun memories, which sometimes I think after time passes you can look back on something and like you really remember the fun memories of it.
• 3:04
  And you don't necessarily always remember the feelings of being overwhelmed and being exhausted and all of the stuff that comes with that, but.
• 3:12
  It's too fresh in your mind right now.
• 3:14
  I know.
• 3:15
  No, you had a great time.
• 3:16
  I had a great time.
• 3:17
  I had a great time.
• 3:18
  My children had a great time.
• 3:19
  They, we have these electric scooters.
• 3:21
  They're like adults.
• 3:22
  You know the ones you would see like on the side of the road in Boston or New York City?
• 3:25
  Yeah, we have them.
• 3:27
  My in-laws gave them to the kids as like a Christmas present ago, but we don't use them because in our neighborhood it's so hilly.
• 3:33
  Yeah.
• 3:33
  It's, you need like flat, you need a nice beach town.
• 3:36
  That's exactly right.
• 3:37
  Yeah.
• 3:37
  You do.
• 3:37
  Yeah.
• 3:37
  So we brought, I was like a last minute decision.
• 3:40
  I was like, I'm gonna throw the scooters in the back of the truck.
• 3:42
  We'll see if we use them.
• 3:43
  Oh, they were the best thing.
• 3:44
  Oh, that's fun.
• 3:46
  And even I was scootering around on that.
• 3:47
  Cute.
• 3:48
  And there was like tennis and pickleball courts right next to the house.
• 3:51
  So every day we all got up.
• 3:53
  We played tennis, we played pickleball.
• 3:55
  It was, everybody got Rhode Island Beach sweatshirts and.
• 4:00
  We ate so well and now so fun.
• 4:03
  I'm in the bathroom every two seconds and my body's I know your body's adjusting home.
• 4:07
  Yeah.
• 4:07
  Hi.
• 4:07
  Hi.
• 4:08
  Hi.
• 4:08
  Welcome back.
• 4:09
  Welcome back.
• 4:10
  I know the return home after vacation is just always, it's were you, do you feel like you were a little bit ready to come back?
• 4:15
  Were you ready to get more into Yeah.
• 4:16
  I came, I was supposed to come back today.
• 4:18
  I came back last night.
• 4:19
  I was definitely ready to come home and now we have a quick turnaround'cause we're going to visit my husband's family.
• 4:24
  We're leaving tonight.
• 4:26
  So we'll be there for a few days.
• 4:27
  Yeah.
• 4:27
  So no wonder you're spinning.
• 4:28
  So I'm, it's.
• 4:30
  Spinning.
• 4:30
  It's a lot.
• 4:31
  It's okay.
• 4:31
  You're here.
• 4:32
  I'm here now.
• 4:33
  You made it.
• 4:33
  Thank you know I almost had to cancel on you.
• 4:35
  It so nice.
• 4:36
  Because I was like, it's nice to see you.
• 4:37
  I didn't, I know.
• 4:38
  I didn't think that we were gonna be able to record.
• 4:40
  We try to prep and advance some of these just because our schedules get so crazy.
• 4:44
  But it's nice to see you.
• 4:46
  I know when our schedules don't always jive there's because our kids are different ages.
• 4:51
  Exactly.
• 4:51
  Yep.
• 4:51
  Like I do my work in the evening.
• 4:53
  Yep.
• 4:54
  In the evening.
• 4:55
  You can't, I'm with the kids.
• 4:56
  That's when you're mommy.
• 4:57
  Yep.
• 4:57
  And I have not, and during the day when I can't even blink.
• 4:59
  Right.
• 5:00
  And during the day when you are working mm-hmm.
• 5:02
  i'm usually with my kids are doing what?
• 5:04
  So sometimes we like have to just, wait, there's like a delay.
• 5:08
  I know.
• 5:08
  Like you'll respond to me hours later and then I respond to that hours later.
• 5:13
  We dump each other.
• 5:13
  Yeah.
• 5:14
  We brain up on each other at completely different times.
• 5:16
  I know.
• 5:16
  That's always so funny.
• 5:17
  I know.
• 5:17
  When you have a working relationship, it's, you gotta figure it out.
• 5:20
  But yeah.
• 5:21
  That's okay.
• 5:22
  Yeah.
• 5:23
  All right.
• 5:23
  So enough about me.
• 5:24
  What about you?
• 5:24
  How is this the week?
• 5:25
  So I had a fun weekend.
• 5:26
  I teased this a little bit on my Instagram too, but I ended up dropping my kids off at my parents' house for the day.
• 5:34
  My husband was having some friends over that were visiting from out of town, and so we just, and that was like planned for a while, so I was like, let me take the kids.
• 5:41
  Like we'll get we'll use it instead of us like going somewhere.
• 5:45
  Yeah.
• 5:45
  I was like, let's actually have the house to ourselves for the night.
• 5:48
  And then he was hosting some friends and I actually used it to catch up with a girlfriend of mine, Marissa.
• 5:54
  Oh.
• 5:54
  From Style Cusp.
• 5:56
  Who is back from Florida.
• 5:57
  She does like back, she's back and forth from Florida and.
• 6:02
  It was so nice because I was like, this is the first time I've seen her since I've had kids where we weren't on a timeline.
• 6:09
  I wasn't like, I have to rush back.
• 6:10
  I only have a babysitter until this time.
• 6:12
  Or you know, like I wanna get back for bedtime.
• 6:15
  It was so nice.
• 6:15
  So the kids were with my parents and then we got to have a day.
• 6:19
  That's awesome.
• 6:20
  Where did you meet her?
• 6:21
  So we went down to Westport, Connecticut.
• 6:23
  We ended up having lunch there'cause it was on the way.
• 6:24
  I dropped my kids off at my parents' house and then we were looking for somewhere cute where we could have lunch.
• 6:29
  And then we literally had.
• 6:31
  A casual three hour lunch, which is like, what happens?
• 6:33
  That's the best.
• 6:34
  Which was so nice.
• 6:34
  'cause we weren't in a rush.
• 6:35
  And then we went shopping and my little tip was gonna be that I actually went denim shopping.
• 6:42
  For the first time where I was actually trying on multiple jeans at a time.
• 6:46
  Yes.
• 6:46
  And I was like, this is life changing.
• 6:48
  Mm-hmm.
• 6:49
  I find that sometimes, like I love the ease of being able to order something, but denim is, denim is an in person, not one of those things de thing.
• 6:56
  Yeah, I agree.
• 6:57
  Denim is just something where you need to grab 10 and try them all on.
• 7:01
  And I would've never been as efficient as I was on the weekend.
• 7:05
  Like being able to buy a pair of de Did you try any different styles that you liked?
• 7:09
  I tried a bunch of different styles.
• 7:10
  I was looking for something very specific.
• 7:12
  I was looking for a very comfy pair of denim that.
• 7:17
  Lengthwise could work with a variety of different shoes.
• 7:20
  So I wanted them full length.
• 7:22
  I wanted the fabric to be like slightly stretchy.
• 7:24
  So there was a little bit of give So that like rag and bone soft?
• 7:27
  Yes, Yes.
• 7:28
  So I ended up I ended up getting a pair of page jeans.
• 7:31
  Ooh.
• 7:31
  Which I haven't tried on a pair of page jeans forever in years.
• 7:34
  And I was going in like expecting to like other brands of denim.
• 7:39
  I had other brands in my mind and I grabbed a bunch of different styles.
• 7:44
  All of the ones that I would've ordered mm-hmm.
• 7:46
  were not ones that worked.
• 7:48
  And so it was just one of those things where I was like, sometimes you just need to get in the store and try on.
• 7:52
  Because when you're online, when you're online shopping, you categorize by your size and brands that you typically know how they fit and what you like.
• 8:01
  But then you know, you would've never tried this.
• 8:03
  It's a crapshoot a lot of the times.
• 8:05
  And sometimes what ends up happening, even with the different, like even with the different washes mm-hmm.
• 8:10
  the fabric is different and so things just.
• 8:13
  Fall differently on you.
• 8:14
  It just, it really depends.
• 8:15
  So it was really nice to have, oh, I can't wait to see how they looked on you.
• 8:19
  Yeah.
• 8:19
  I ended up grabbing a pair.
• 8:20
  They were, they're like a nice wide leg, but they're not too wide.
• 8:23
  They're like a little bit stretchy, but they hug in all of the right places and they're I was just really excited to grab a pair that actually fits my body now.
• 8:32
  Mm-hmm.
• 8:33
  It wasn't a chore to try'em on it wasn't like I had to, now I don't have to send back 10 pair of jeans that didn't fit.
• 8:39
  It was just so easy.
• 8:39
  So sometimes you gotta go out in the store.
• 8:41
  It was amazing.
• 8:42
  All right.
• 8:42
  Where did you go?
• 8:42
  Oh, it's like a boutiquey store in Westport.
• 8:44
  Yeah.
• 8:44
  We went I popped around a couple of different stores.
• 8:46
  The store I ended up getting these from was anthropology, because they carry a ton of different ones.
• 8:51
  But I was like, this is just.
• 8:53
  This was a win.
• 8:54
  It was so nice.
• 8:54
  Oh, I love that.
• 8:55
  I'm glad you caught up with her.
• 8:56
  I know she's a special friend to you.
• 8:57
  I know she's gonna be on the podcast soon, probably at the end of August.
• 9:00
  Oh, that's awesome.
• 9:01
  I know, I'm really excited and it Nice staff time in person too.
• 9:04
  Yeah, she's gonna be sitting in me one of these chairs.
• 9:06
  I'm so excited.
• 9:07
  I'm so excited to talk to her.
• 9:09
  I know.
• 9:09
  It's gonna be really fun.
• 9:10
  I'm excited to like almost sort of interview the two of you.
• 9:13
  Oh yeah.
• 9:14
  That'll be fun.
• 9:15
  Because you guys have really come together and you boost each other up and like you are both such girls, girls, and in such a competitive industry.
• 9:24
  Mm-hmm.
• 9:24
  The two of you have been able to put all that sort of bullshit behind you.
• 9:29
  Yeah.
• 9:29
  And just be good friends.
• 9:30
  It's a lot of what we talk about on the podcast.
• 9:32
  Yes.
• 9:32
  So I'm really excited.
• 9:33
  Yeah.
• 9:33
  That's gonna be in a couple of weeks.
• 9:34
  Yeah.
• 9:35
  And I'm excited to hear about her podcast journey.
• 9:37
  I know her wellness journey.
• 9:38
  I know.
• 9:38
  That'll be really fun.
• 9:39
  She just seems like so light, like when you're around her, do you just leave feeling lighter?
• 9:44
  Yeah we, we actually talked a lot.
• 9:45
  That was like something that we talked about a lot was just sometimes.
• 9:50
  You wanna leave people feeling good.
• 9:53
  And she's one of those people where I always leave and she feels the same way.
• 9:57
  Of course.
• 9:57
  Of course.
• 9:58
  Where you, you leave feeling good.
• 10:00
  You don't leave feeling, did I overshare too much?
• 10:03
  Did I say the wrong things?
• 10:04
  Do I feel judged?
• 10:06
  Yeah.
• 10:07
  And I piss that person off.
• 10:08
  Yeah.
• 10:08
  Is there, did I leave feeling badly about myself and no to any of those things.
• 10:14
  And that just shows that that's a really good, healthy friendship.
• 10:18
  And yeah, it's, we keep saying our motto like, I feel like the summer is just quality over quantity.
• 10:24
  And it's just a reminder of to just pay attention to those things, the people that you're around.
• 10:29
  Okay.
• 10:29
  So what are we gonna talk about today?
• 10:31
  I'm excited for this one.
• 10:33
  This actually came at the request mm-hmm.
• 10:35
  of some PPAs.
• 10:36
  Mm-hmm.
• 10:37
  And we kind of combined some different topics that people were asking us to chat about.
• 10:42
  Your friend had asked you a question and you asked it to me last week.
• 10:46
  So I think the question was what age were you when you became aware of your body?
• 10:52
  Mm-hmm.
• 10:53
  And.
• 10:54
  Do you remember that feeling?
• 10:56
  Do you remember how old you were?
• 10:57
  Yeah.
• 10:57
  Do you remember what that felt like to you?
• 11:00
  And what did it mean to become aware of your body and then layer that on?
• 11:06
  When did you become aware of like other people's bodies and then what were like the messages that you heard and just what was your relationship with self-image and image of others?
• 11:15
  Yeah.
• 11:15
  It's kind of like a body positivity chat today.
• 11:19
  That's kind of what we're gonna talk about.
• 11:20
  But that word was not said to me.
• 11:23
  It was not, no, it was not a thing in the eighties and nineties, I don't think.
• 11:27
  We grew up, which we talked about in another podcast, but we grew up in this in the very diet culture, very media heavy paparazzi world, right?
• 11:38
  Where it was like completely acceptable to pick apart a celebrity's body, the.
• 11:44
  Tabloids were always all over.
• 11:46
  If anybody like gained an inch or looked a little bit bloated one day, it was completely acceptable to just pick apart that woman's body right in the media in front of everybody.
• 11:59
  And it was completely fine for any woman and men to say whatever they wanted about somebody else's body.
• 12:06
  So I feel like we grew up in this really delicate time of consuming that information and I can imagine what that did to all of us internally, right?
• 12:16
  And how we think about ourselves.
• 12:18
  And so I think that due to that, I definitely felt I don't remember the exact point where I became aware of my body in that way, but I do remember.
• 12:30
  Seeing magazines specifically and seeing the verbiage and how the media would speak to another woman and being very aware of that at a younger age.
• 12:41
  Mm-hmm.
• 12:42
  Like, Oh, this is not what you're supposed to look like due to this messaging.
• 12:46
  Oh.
• 12:46
  Just the Oh, interesting.
• 12:48
  Like, Just being aware of it.
• 12:50
  Okay.
• 12:50
  And I remember that just reading things.
• 12:52
  I'm like a big words person.
• 12:55
  Yes.
• 12:55
  And like words of affirmation is my love language.
• 12:58
  So when I see something negatively written, I take that.
• 13:01
  It's wow, okay.
• 13:02
  That's not okay for her to look that way.
• 13:05
  Okay.
• 13:05
  You file that in the back of your mind.
• 13:07
  Okay.
• 13:07
  How do you feel about that?
• 13:09
  So I am not a words.
• 13:11
  Person.
• 13:12
  I think I was more visual.
• 13:13
  Mm-hmm.
• 13:13
  So I was, I'll share this story, but I was, I told Christina this last week, but I remember when I was 13, it was like the summer before going into eighth grade, my mom bought me like a padded bathing suit top.
• 13:25
  And I remember loving how I looked in this padded bathing suit top, and I wore it all summer under all my clothes.
• 13:32
  'cause it looked like I had like boobs.
• 13:34
  It was like a bra, like you wore it as a bra.
• 13:36
  I wore it as a bra under all of my tops because it gave me boobs.
• 13:39
  Mm-hmm.
• 13:39
  And I remember at that age being like, oh, okay, I like this body.
• 13:44
  You liked the way your body looked?
• 13:45
  I liked the way my body looked.
• 13:47
  Yeah.
• 13:47
  And then as I got a little older, I was like, oh, I have curly hair.
• 13:51
  I'm short.
• 13:52
  Mm-hmm.
• 13:52
  I am not, I don't have like long straight hair.
• 13:55
  I don't have like, you know, it was more so I'm short and I have short, curly hair.
• 14:01
  Mm-hmm.
• 14:02
  And so as I got a little older, I, I thinned out a little, my hair grew, whatever.
• 14:06
  I got out of that like awkward phase, but I never was aware of, at that point I was not aware of other people.
• 14:13
  I was only aware of myself.
• 14:16
  It is interesting that that's that, that transition happens, right?
• 14:19
  Yes.
• 14:19
  Where you're just one day, like very blissfully unaware of, I guess, what you look like or I wonder if that happens at younger ages now than it did with us.
• 14:27
  You know, We're just so consumed, I think that kids right now could be so consumed with media, but we were very consumed with media, like I said, like the tabloids and the kind of gossipy type of things and all the shows, and so I think that we did grow up, like of course, like in the nineties with, it's not like we grew up not seeing any of those images, but I wonder if it's happening earlier now than it did to us.
• 14:48
  But I think that it sounds like both of us were probably middle school-ish, right?
• 14:52
  When you become aware of not only your body, but everyone else's body, and I guess the relationship between that.
• 14:59
  But I think that, yeah, even like you said.
• 15:02
  I might have not remembered my body.
• 15:04
  Mm-hmm.
• 15:04
  Like my actual figure.
• 15:05
  But I remember being like, okay, I have like fairer skin, so I don't get a tan as easily as other people.
• 15:12
  There's some things that you just pick on yourself, yes.
• 15:14
  Oh, that's interesting.
• 15:15
  That's a little different.
• 15:16
  I'm much more fair than everyone.
• 15:18
  This was before, like self tanner, before anything, and.
• 15:22
  You're like, oh, I have Casper white legs.
• 15:24
  You know, like, that's, That's different.
• 15:25
  Compared, I compared I know.
• 15:26
  My biggest thing was I was hairy.
• 15:28
  Oh yeah.
• 15:28
  And I hated being hairy.
• 15:30
  Yeah.
• 15:30
  My mom used, took me for electrolysis when I was like 10 years old.
• 15:34
  I had, or maybe I was 11 years old, but I had one eyebrow and she was like, we are gonna fix that.
• 15:40
  Yeah.
• 15:41
  We are gonna take you and you're gonna have two eyebrows.
• 15:44
  Yeah.
• 15:44
  Yeah.
• 15:44
  But there's been so many things that have so much, like more technology.
• 15:48
  I don't even think I had a hair straight when I was in eighth grade.
• 15:51
  I think that I got, I definitely did not straighten my hair until I was in high school.
• 15:54
  So I very much remember you we were much more like of a natural generation.
• 15:59
  There were, and there also wasn't, we had like 17 magazine or maybe some of the other teeny bopper magazines to look to, to be like, what's the, like how could we look our best?
• 16:09
  Right.
• 16:09
  Yes.
• 16:10
  Sun in, yeah.
• 16:11
  Sun in hair.
• 16:12
  And I don't even think that there was self tanner.
• 16:15
  There were no straighteners there.
• 16:17
  Nir, yes, there was Nir.
• 16:18
  There was very limited.
• 16:20
  Even makeup, you know, like, I don't even feel like we ha I don't even feel like Targets were that big when we were growing up.
• 16:25
  No.
• 16:26
  There wasn't know.
• 16:26
  It was like, where do you get makeup?
• 16:27
  Like it was the makeup counter or Walmart for me.
• 16:30
  Like it was, it just was very different.
• 16:33
  So it's funny, I feel like now girls would have so much more access to YouTube videos or how to do things a different way.
• 16:41
  And I feel like maybe they, that's why I feel like all girls look so much better now than we did when we were growing up.
• 16:46
  But now there's also that added pressure of at a young age you need to do these things where we were just a little bit more carefree to yes, look the way we did.
• 16:55
  Yeah.
• 16:55
  But I think the thing that's constant is that.
• 17:00
  Everybody in both, times want to look good and feel good, but what that means in the messaging, I think we have to be careful with.
• 17:10
  Mm-hmm.
• 17:11
  And now the, this like whole glow up.
• 17:17
  Like If you look at Lindsay Lohan, she's all the rage right now.
• 17:20
  I know.
• 17:20
  And she looks amazing, insane.
• 17:23
  And people are talking about this glow up.
• 17:25
  Yep.
• 17:26
  But if she were to have had plastic surgery done and she did not look good, she would be ridiculed and scrutinized for bad plastic surgery or For sure.
• 17:37
  Or bad lasers or bad, whatever she's had.
• 17:40
  Bad filler, bad Botox, bad, whatever she's had done.
• 17:42
  But because she's done stuff to make her look and it looks good, natural.
• 17:46
  Mm-hmm.
• 17:47
  Right.
• 17:48
  And natural, I'm using in air quotes because it's not natural.
• 17:51
  No it's not.
• 17:52
  We're the same age as her.
• 17:53
  Yes.
• 17:54
  It is not natural to not have wrinkles.
• 17:57
  To not have bags.
• 17:58
  Mm-hmm.
• 17:58
  To not have gray hair when you are almost 40 years old.
• 18:01
  It's just part of the genetics.
• 18:03
  And trust me, I get Botox because I wanna look a little more youthful.
• 18:09
  I'm not saying don't do it.
• 18:10
  Do whatever makes you feel good.
• 18:11
  But when you are doing it to look natural, you have to be aware that it's not natural.
• 18:17
  It's not natural.
• 18:18
  I know.
• 18:18
  And it's interesting.
• 18:19
  And honestly, even the Lindsay Lohan glow up.
• 18:22
  She looks incredible.
• 18:24
  Oh my God.
• 18:24
  She really does.
• 18:25
  I'm like, wow.
• 18:26
  I mean, she, She really does.
• 18:27
  And I do think because she is our exact age, like she's 39.
• 18:31
  That's why, That's why I'm choosing her because she's our age feels very relevant.
• 18:36
  Yes.
• 18:36
  And relatable.
• 18:38
  And, but I've also been like looking like, wow.
• 18:41
  Okay.
• 18:43
  Comparing right?
• 18:44
  Like myself, like where it's wow, okay, she looks good.
• 18:47
  Her jaw is tight.
• 18:48
  There's she just, her body looks good.
• 18:51
  She j It's just very interesting how that immediately.
• 18:55
  That messaging can flip on yourself, and then you almost start to feel badly about yourself.
• 18:59
  And okay, wow, she's 39 and she's getting all this praise for looking this way.
• 19:04
  And so then does that mean that I have to look that way in order to get that sort of praise?
• 19:09
  I mean, It's just, it's interesting how it's almost, I don't know, it just feels, do you stay in that feeling for a long time though?
• 19:16
  Or is it like more of a fleeting thought?
• 19:18
  I think that this was like a fleeting thought where she just all of a sudden, okay that she's just it right now.
• 19:23
  She's, everybody's talking about her, and I think it's because of that.
• 19:27
  It's the exact age.
• 19:29
  So it's just wow, everybody's talking about how great she looks for being a 39-year-old.
• 19:34
  And I think that's the messaging too, is once you hit a certain age, you get this.
• 19:40
  She looks good for her age, type of messaging.
• 19:43
  Do you think that's where we are now?
• 19:45
  I do.
• 19:46
  I do.
• 19:47
  Yes.
• 19:47
  I think that we're teetering on that line for sure, because that's been the messaging.
• 19:51
  Like she's 39, she looks so good.
• 19:53
  I mean the, The age come plays in, right?
• 19:55
  It's like you get to a certain age and your age becomes part of your identity.
• 20:01
  Mm.
• 20:01
  Where it's she's 35, she looks great for 35, she's 40, she's, it's like the age is just attached to a woman, right.
• 20:08
  for the rest of their life once they hit a certain age.
• 20:11
  It doesn't happen when you're in your twenties, but I think once you're in your mid late thirties, you're forever branded as whatever age you are and how good or bad you look.
• 20:20
  Like that seems to be kind of Hollywood messaging.
• 20:23
  Do you think that people should share what they're doing?
• 20:27
  Or do you think that there should be like privacy and allowed.
• 20:30
  That's a good question.
• 20:32
  I feel, because I feel like for me, I could answer yes to both.
• 20:36
  I feel split on it.
• 20:38
  I think it's I think it's a fine line.
• 20:40
  I think it's really great when someone shares what they've had done and people are open about things, but I don't think that you should have to share anything, right.
• 20:51
  that you don't wanna share.
• 20:52
  I think that could make you more or less relatable.
• 20:55
  Like I think that people relate and I think people like honesty and they like when people are vulnerable and they like when people, but I don't think just because you are a person that is on the internet or in Hollywood or what, that you have to share anything.
• 21:11
  It's not a requirement.
• 21:12
  Yeah, I agree with that.
• 21:13
  I think if she said on interviews I just drank water.
• 21:16
  Mm-hmm.
• 21:17
  I would probably be like, oh, come on, I drink a shit load of water.
• 21:20
  And my jaw is not snatched like that, but if she ref, chooses to keep it to herself, then I guess I'm okay with that too.
• 21:27
  Yeah.
• 21:27
  I think I'm just in the middle.
• 21:29
  I feel that same way.
• 21:30
  It's it's up to you.
• 21:31
  I think it, it's very respectable when someone is honest, but it doesn't necessarily mean you have to share.
• 21:36
  If you don't want to share.
• 21:38
  But I think that that could come with backlash.
• 21:40
  When people are, if they lie or if they aren't open about things, then you're subject to people picking you apart a little bit more and say, okay, well obviously like we just said, there's no way she just drinks water to look that good.
• 21:53
  Like we're kind of doubting it, but.
• 21:55
  It's to each their own, really.
• 21:56
  Right.
• 21:57
  So we have girls.
• 21:59
  Mm-hmm.
• 21:59
  They watch everything we do.
• 22:00
  They watch us put on lip gloss, they watch us put on heels, they watch us get dressed, they watch us do our hair, they they watch everything we do.
• 22:08
  They watch us work out, I know Layla's young, but I would wonder she's a year and a half.
• 22:13
  What she what you would say to her if she was like, mommy, why do you work out?
• 22:17
  Yeah.
• 22:17
  It's honestly made me, she hasn't asked those questions yet.
• 22:22
  She's young.
• 22:23
  But it would, it makes me, way more self aware of how I think about myself and how I speak to myself, especially in front of the kids.
• 22:32
  I could say that to both, you know, like Leo's my oldest he's like a little boy, obviously, but I still don't want him hearing me talk about myself badly, or, it's just interesting even how young they are, like what they pick up on.
• 22:45
  And what they notice, you know, like both of my kids have looked at me sometimes when I'm wearing makeup, you know, how different I look.
• 22:52
  Or Leo will say, oh, mom's wearing a dress.
• 22:55
  You know, He'll just notice things and say them out loud.
• 22:58
  Yeah.
• 22:58
  Why do you look so pretty today?
• 22:58
  Yeah.
• 22:59
  It's just, it's funny how even so young they pick up on the changes and, but having a daughter, it's kind of stressful because if I pick apart something about myself and Layla has that trait too, it's am I picking on her?
• 23:15
  Are there things about, there's things about myself that I might not love and.
• 23:22
  It's, I sometimes see that she might be having those features too.
• 23:25
  You know, Like I just said, like I didn't love having super fair skin and not being able to get like a tan very easily.
• 23:32
  People would say stuff about me, when I was little.
• 23:34
  And both of my kids have very fair skin.
• 23:37
  And so it's like you start to just be like, wow.
• 23:39
  Is that gonna be something that they're uncomfortable with?
• 23:42
  Is that gonna be something that people might say about them?
• 23:45
  Yeah.
• 23:45
  I guess it's gonna have to be one of those things where you're gonna have to just wait right patiently for your daughter to say to you, mom, I don't like this about myself.
• 23:53
  Right.
• 23:53
  You know, And then, and that would honestly break my heart.
• 23:56
  'Cause as a mom, you, you think that your kids are the world you created them know Yeah.
• 24:01
  To be just perfect.
• 24:02
  Yeah.
• 24:02
  Like you think that they're perfect the way they are and it's not in a braggy way, you know, it's not in that sort of way.
• 24:08
  It's just that just like your parents thought you were perfect.
• 24:10
  Yeah.
• 24:10
  You think and you just love everything about them.
• 24:12
  You know, you love everything about them.
• 24:14
  Right.
• 24:16
  Anything that might make them unique, like you might see something and it makes them unique, it makes them, right?
• 24:20
  But they might not like something about themselves.
• 24:23
  And I would think that's a heartbreaking feeling as a parent, right?
• 24:26
  I haven't yet experienced it because of they're, they're so young.
• 24:31
  I have you.
• 24:34
  So I haven't really experienced that yet.
• 24:37
  But what I am playing around with is like they watch my every move.
• 24:41
  The diet and the exercise aren't really like triggers for me.
• 24:45
  I don't do it for weight loss at this point.
• 24:48
  Like I'm just doing it for like maintenance for strength.
• 24:50
  So I've always, they always see me working, do uh, downstairs in the gym.
• 24:54
  They do it with me.
• 24:54
  It's not oh, mommy needs to run on the treadmill so I could eat I don't have food noise or like movement noise right now.
• 25:01
  So there's not, that's not like a thing.
• 25:04
  But what I do do is I alter the way I look every day.
• 25:07
  I put, I straighten my hair or I curl my hair or I put makeup on or I contour my nose'cause I feel like I have a big nose and these are things that my daughters see me do.
• 25:18
  Or I get Botox and I've taken them to my Botox appointment.
• 25:21
  They've come with me to Auntie Cheryl's.
• 25:24
  You know, Med spa, and those are things that I know, especially my one daughter is going to want to try at some point.
• 25:33
  You know?
• 25:33
  Do you feel any sort of guilt, like feeling is this a bad example or is this just part of how you are?
• 25:40
  Are you comfortable enough just being like, this is who I am at this point.
• 25:43
  These are things that I like to do for myself and yeah, I think I'm, I think I'm still trying to figure that out.
• 25:49
  Yeah.
• 25:50
  When I was like a teenager and I wanted to straighten my hair, I remember my mom being like, but you have curly hair.
• 25:56
  You were born with curly hair.
• 25:58
  Why are you trying to change that about you?
• 26:01
  So I'm just trying to accept that there are certain things that we don't love about ourselves.
• 26:05
  Mm-hmm.
• 26:06
  And our appearances that we wanna change a little bit or enhance or what's the opposite of enhance when you're contouring?
• 26:14
  Hide a little.
• 26:14
  Hide.
• 26:15
  Yeah.
• 26:15
  Hide a little and.
• 26:18
  My daughters are gonna wanna do the same.
• 26:19
  I think that there's things that are completely fine, right?
• 26:23
  I think that it's like a tough balance because I think that it's okay.
• 26:29
  I think if it's a from within thing and you are just uncomfortable with something, or maybe you wanna enhance or hide or kind of disguise, maybe disguise.
• 26:39
  Disguise, that's a better word.
• 26:40
  I feel like that's a better word.
• 26:41
  Or just do something to make yourself feel okay or feel better.
• 26:46
  I don't think that there's shame in that, but I also think that if it's do, if you're doing something because some, somebody else pointed something out, that's where it gets tricky.
• 26:56
  If now you're only aware of something and maybe embarrassed or feeling shameful about something because somebody else pointed it out, that becomes like a weird line to so we do not wanna be the ones pointing that out For sure.
• 27:10
  For our kids.
• 27:10
  For sure.
• 27:11
  For sure.
• 27:11
  I think if it's always from a within thing, that's okay.
• 27:14
  And I don't like the message, which we've talked about here too.
• 27:17
  If you do wanna make a change, if you do wanna feel better about yourself, I don't think that should be ignored, right?
• 27:23
  Because I do think that when you feel good, some of that is because you look good.
• 27:29
  You, it's, it is like an outward thing.
• 27:32
  If you get dressed in the morning, if you're taking care of your body, like those things are not negatives, but it doesn't have to be everything, it doesn't mean that's the only way you're gonna feel good about yourself.
• 27:43
  I think it's just learning to how to delicately talk about those messages.
• 27:48
  Right.
• 27:48
  With your daughter Outwardly display some of those things so that it's, you're not just saying one thing and doing another.
• 27:54
  You don't want your do.
• 27:55
  'Cause kids pick up on things, everything like that.
• 27:57
  You don't like, wanna lie.
• 27:58
  You can't tell them, oh, you should love yourself the way you are when you're sitting there doing things to improve your appearance, which will maybe improve your own mood.
• 28:09
  It's contradictory to do that.
• 28:10
  So it's gotta be challenging.
• 28:12
  And again, we're just opening up the discussion.
• 28:15
  It's one of those things which is like how far is too far?
• 28:17
  Mm-hmm.
• 28:18
  Because if you look at pictures and if you look at people around you like.
• 28:23
  It's a world that is full of enhancements.
• 28:26
  Mm-hmm.
• 28:26
  I don't know about you, but I feel like I'm seeing less of an inter Instagram filter now, or Yes.
• 28:32
  If there is a filter, you, it's like an obvious thing.
• 28:35
  Yes.
• 28:35
  It's not oh, it's filtered, but it's real.
• 28:37
  It's maybe it's less of that now.
• 28:39
  Well, Content's definitely become much more real life, much less edited and curated than it used to be.
• 28:48
  So that doesn't surprise me that's what's happening and what you're seeing.
• 28:51
  It's, I think it's very obvious when people are using a filter, you know?
• 28:55
  And so I think, I'm definitely seeing less of it too.
• 28:59
  Right.
• 29:00
  But just like simple.
• 29:02
  I guess these are like simple things like Botox fillers, like some of the social media things are wrapped around in this illusion of natural beauty, right?
• 29:11
  What do you think about.
• 29:14
  Like this whole natural beauty look or like looking natural when really there's a lot that goes into I've seen looking natural.
• 29:21
  Yeah.
• 29:21
  There's some reels where girls will say, oh, a man told me I'm so naturally beautiful.
• 29:27
  And then they list all of the 50 million things that they do that make them have this natural beauty.
• 29:33
  And I applaud that because I'm like, yes, it takes so much, to just upkeep and especially as you age and everything.
• 29:40
  So I, again, it goes back to the transparency of I love that.
• 29:44
  And that also just shows that some people are very, like blissfully unaware of how much people put on their looks, you know, to get a natural sort of look.
• 29:54
  But that's tricky.
• 29:55
  I know it is tricky.
• 29:57
  Any, maybe it's'cause of where we live.
• 29:58
  Mm-hmm.
• 29:59
  But I don't think any of our friends in this area are like super done up.
• 30:04
  No.
• 30:04
  Or super crazy or changing their appearances.
• 30:07
  So I don't ever feel like I have to, yeah.
• 30:11
  Keep up.
• 30:12
  Even though I don't know if I would, but maybe I would.
• 30:14
  Like sometimes I wonder like if we lived in a different part of the country where, or like in LA or in Hollywood or in New York or wherever, a place where everybody looked like a filter, for sure.
• 30:24
  If that would make me feel more insecure, I would definitely say that.
• 30:27
  That I could easily say that I know that I would like, that's just, I think it is who you kind of surround yourself with and what you're exposed to.
• 30:36
  And I think that the more you're exposed to something, you almost get like blindness, so it's, if that's what you're seeing all of the time, then.
• 30:46
  That's what you usually wanna do, right?
• 30:48
  Because you're, it just becomes the norm to you.
• 30:50
  So you're seeing this and you're saying, if you're seeing everybody with facelifts right?
• 30:56
  You're gonna look and eventually say that's the norm.
• 30:59
  And so then you feel pressure of, okay, that's something that I need to keep up with to also look that same way.
• 31:05
  So I do think it probably varies area to area, especially in our country.
• 31:10
  Mm-hmm.
• 31:10
  Like I do think we're in the northeast.
• 31:12
  It's a little bit less, I think it's probably less is more around here.
• 31:18
  yes.
• 31:18
  And if everybody was filled to the brim with filler and looked completely unnatural in air quotes, you would stand out here.
• 31:26
  It's not a look here.
• 31:27
  Right now.
• 31:28
  So maybe we're not probably feeling as much of that like local pressure because it's not the look here.
• 31:33
  But I guarantee you, if you went somewhere else I would feel very different.
• 31:38
  Yeah, that's a good point.
• 31:39
  That's a good point.
• 31:40
  It just depends every area of the country, especially with plastic surgery, like if you go down to Miami for example, like the body type is very different than it is up here.
• 31:50
  You're also just like in less clothing just because of the climate.
• 31:54
  So you might feel pressure to get your boobs done if you were in Miami, because that's the, look, I saw this funny video and it was a woman at the airport doing jumping jacks or something with all of her luggage and she was like, I'm going on spring break, and I'm in my winter body, so I'm trying to get in shape before I get to Florida.
• 32:14
  Yeah, I know.
• 32:15
  We, yeah, we unfortunately have the like eight month winter body here where I know it's just freezing and yeah, it's, I know, it's just, it's very different.
• 32:22
  I think it, I, I do think that that's where you live is probably one of the most.
• 32:30
  I guess important things for this discussion, right?
• 32:32
  Like where you live and who you're surrounded by and what you see a lot.
• 32:36
  But since you've grown up into now you're a more competent woman, you know that if you have a trip coming up, you know what suntan, which what's it called?
• 32:44
  Tan self-tan use.
• 32:44
  Mm-hmm.
• 32:45
  You know, What clothes fit your body best?
• 32:48
  Do you have already like a bathing suit that'll work for you?
• 32:51
  Imagine being like a 15 or 16-year-old girl and you having 24 hours to get ready for a trip.
• 32:56
  You're gonna be completely thrown off.
• 32:58
  You don't know what works yet, but I think that some of that even feels like a, that's why sometimes po postpartum feels so adolescent.
• 33:06
  Yes.
• 33:07
  'cause you're in, it's the same thing.
• 33:08
  This new body and it's.
• 33:12
  Very stressful.
• 33:13
  And I don't think that it's something that, again, I always say, I wasn't prepared for this.
• 33:17
  You really can't be until you're in it.
• 33:19
  Mm-hmm.
• 33:19
  You know, And I'm sure that this also happens at other points, and it doesn't always necessarily mean it has to be like a postpartum experience, but everybody's bodies just change.
• 33:27
  And sometimes it happens very quickly and sometimes it doesn't.
• 33:31
  And, but I'm sure that anybody can relate to a moment where your body just doesn't feel like yours anymore.
• 33:38
  It just feels very different.
• 33:40
  And navigating that is very tricky too.
• 33:44
  I'm sure it's gonna change again for us.
• 33:46
  I know like they say like with menopause and perimenopause, like the tire develops around your midsection because of, lower that you put weight on different estrogen and you put weight on in different way.
• 33:55
  Mm-hmm.
• 33:56
  You know?
• 33:56
  And so how do you talk about yourself then in front of your daughters?
• 34:01
  Oh, mom's fat today.
• 34:02
  I don't wanna say that to them.
• 34:04
  I know the messaging is, you have to just be very, very careful with the messaging when there's like little ears listening to you.
• 34:10
  I know.
• 34:11
  And even like the way we talk about food like, I try to talk about food'cause we always talk, go back to food.
• 34:17
  But I always talk about food being like an energy source.
• 34:20
  And good food, good mood, and make you strong.
• 34:23
  It'll give you energy.
• 34:24
  You're gonna be tired.
• 34:25
  I try not to say this is healthy, this is unhealthy.
• 34:28
  Or if you have mac and cheese, you have to have something healthy with it.
• 34:31
  Because.
• 34:32
  What does that even really mean?
• 34:34
  I know, but I'm honestly somebody who, and I've talked to some of my girlfriends about this too, and that's where some of this spun from the kind of wanting to talk about this a little bit deeper.
• 34:44
  I wanna have an expert on here that can talk about specific food related, like I guess that relationship to food and how we should talk to our kids about that.
• 34:54
  I want an expert to come on and talk about those things because I know that we're growing into this parenting in the age where you should not villainize certain things.
• 35:05
  You should, You should treat all foods equally.
• 35:08
  That's the messaging that I keep seeing thrown out by like some of the bigger parenting podcasts and some of the bigger parenting groups, you know, that have.
• 35:19
  Guides and this and that and our experts.
• 35:22
  And I don't agree with that.
• 35:24
  So it could just be, you know, you don't, I don't, I don't because I don't think that all food is equal.
• 35:30
  It's not.
• 35:30
  You're gonna tell me that it is.
• 35:32
  I think that's a lie.
• 35:34
  I think that you can have anything in moderation.
• 35:36
  Mm-hmm.
• 35:37
  But I think that that needs to be taught.
• 35:38
  And I think that needs to be practiced.
• 35:40
  I think that saying all foods are equal, I think is dangerous.
• 35:44
  I don't think, because they're not all equal.
• 35:46
  Right.
• 35:46
  We know that they're not.
• 35:47
  And so I think that it's always just finding balance and things being okay with balance, learning balance.
• 35:53
  It's not usually like a skill that you're just born with.
• 35:57
  You know?
• 35:57
  It's something that you have to put into practice.
• 35:59
  So I just have to be okay with, that's how I'm going to raise my children is not all food is equal.
• 36:06
  It doesn't mean you can't have those things, but it means that.
• 36:10
  Some foods are probably gonna make you feel better than other foods.
• 36:12
  Other foods might make you feel great in the moment, but might not make you feel great long term.
• 36:18
  Right.
• 36:18
  And some foods might just be not as fun to eat, but they're gonna make you feel good and make your body feel good.
• 36:24
  I think that's a message that you have to teach your kids, right?
• 36:27
  Or at least that that's the message that I wanna teach my kids.
• 36:30
  If you teach them that all foods are equal, why are they not gonna want to have cake for dinner?
• 36:36
  Then, and why wouldn't they want that the next day and the next day?
• 36:39
  I'm curious to have somebody who's teaching that message, give the whole backstory.
• 36:43
  Mm-hmm.
• 36:44
  And like the full story and then how that's relayed to like my 12-year-old who loves to eat Skittles, like he's gonna go play tennis like, and you, that's gonna be the food that you bring with you to tennis, right?
• 36:55
  Like that's the snack,, that's snacks.
• 36:57
  The powerful food that you should be having before I know it's a very delicate topic and I know you wanna be careful, but.
• 37:05
  Again, I think it's something that our generation were too afraid to do things.
• 37:10
  Maybe we wanna do things always opposite of how we were brought into it.
• 37:16
  And learning about things.
• 37:17
  But I don't always think that opposite means better.
• 37:19
  And this goes back to something that you had said a couple of weeks ago.
• 37:23
  Yeah.
• 37:23
  Which was, sometimes you wanna do things, you, you wanna give your kids what you did have too.
• 37:31
  You know?
• 37:31
  And it's not always just what you didn't, the opposite of what you didn't have.
• 37:35
  And.
• 37:36
  We were talking about that in relation to our gentle parenting approach and how we struggle both of that.
• 37:41
  But that's I almost feel like that also plays into this conversation too, where just because some of the messaging was probably a little bit more strict with food when we were growing up mm-hmm.
• 37:52
  doesn't mean that it should be a free for all for our kids.
• 37:56
  Right.
• 37:56
  Because again, where's the data that shows what that ends up like?
• 38:00
  Right.
• 38:01
  So if you went to the beach with your parents when you were a kid what was in the cooler?
• 38:05
  What did your mom pack in the cooler?
• 38:06
  Probably sandwiches and fruit and chips and probably a mix of things.
• 38:11
  Definitely sandwiches.
• 38:12
  What about you?
• 38:13
  We always have this talk because we went on, like this past vacation, we went on with my dad's brother and his wife.
• 38:19
  Mm-hmm.
• 38:19
  We've been traveling with them since and they have two boys since I was, a baby.
• 38:23
  So my aunt would pack the bag with the chips, the Pringles, the, yeah, the snacky beach food, all the snacky beach food.
• 38:30
  Those like Mondo sugary drinks.
• 38:32
  Okay.
• 38:32
  Yep.
• 38:33
  All of the fun food would be in her bag and then she would let her kids get french fries and hot dogs or whatever.
• 38:39
  And then in my mom's bag, it was like grapes.
• 38:42
  Yeah.
• 38:43
  A peach, a yogurt, apples, pretzels, or the crunchy snack.
• 38:48
  Yeah.
• 38:48
  And then we had like water.
• 38:50
  And I remember my mom sometimes would get a seltzer.
• 38:52
  Seltzer was like the treat.
• 38:54
  A treat.
• 38:54
  Yeah.
• 38:55
  And I'm like, and again, I don't know if it was,'cause my aunt had two boys and my mom had two girls at the time.
• 39:00
  Well I guess'cause Marissa came along later.
• 39:02
  But so when.
• 39:04
  I got a little older and I had my own beach bag.
• 39:07
  I was like, I'm gonna have this fun beach bag.
• 39:11
  You wanna do the opposite?
• 39:12
  I'm gonna do, I am gonna have the fun beach bag with the Pringles and the this and the that.
• 39:17
  Let me tell you, it created like my kids would, they don't do well when they eat all of that.
• 39:22
  So now if you go to my beach bag, I'm, I pack just the same way my mom does.
• 39:27
  Yeah.
• 39:27
  And my kids are like, I hate what's in your beach bag.
• 39:31
  You pack us like, we don't want any of this food.
• 39:34
  I'm like.
• 39:35
  Tough shit.
• 39:35
  Yeah.
• 39:35
  Because when you eat the other way, you melt down in two seconds.
• 39:40
  I know.
• 39:40
  It's really tough.
• 39:41
  We talk, we, our conversations always come back to this.
• 39:44
  Like, It's definitely something that we both struggle with in terms of how to parent this way.
• 39:49
  Yeah.
• 39:49
  Around food.
• 39:50
  But I guess it's, I guess it's just something where we're gonna, it's, you're gonna have to live and learn it.
• 39:55
  Yeah.
• 39:55
  Just like the same way I think everybody does, but, and it's probably something that not everybody agrees on.
• 40:00
  And I bet you people will have different experiences of growing up to relate to.
• 40:05
  Right.
• 40:05
  And so you're trying to take bits and pieces of maybe what worked and maybe what you wish you would've had.
• 40:11
  And I think that when it comes to that, the word that just pops up to me is balance.
• 40:16
  It's just it doesn't all have to be quote unquote healthy foods, but I think you do have to Yeah.
• 40:24
  Learn, you know, we know what happens when you just eat like crap for a handful of days.
• 40:29
  You feel it.
• 40:30
  And.
• 40:32
  I don't think that's necessarily negative information to share and teach a child.
• 40:37
  I just don't.
• 40:38
  I don't.
• 40:38
  I don't.
• 40:38
  But see, my messaging has absolutely nothing to do with looks.
• 40:42
  Mine is, it's purely how you're feeling on the feeling.
• 40:45
  Yes.
• 40:46
  It has nothing to do with if you eat the, because my oldest son eats like crap.
• 40:50
  He eats bags and bags of Skittles and candy.
• 40:52
  I joke all the time.
• 40:53
  I'm like, you're gonna get diabetes.
• 40:55
  Yeah.
• 40:55
  I don't even think you can get diabetes that way.
• 40:57
  I don't know why I say that to him.
• 40:59
  It's probably a horrible thing to say to your kid.
• 41:01
  I'm like, you're gonna get diabetes.
• 41:03
  Stop eating Swedish fish for breakfast.
• 41:06
  Right.
• 41:06
  And he's so skinny.
• 41:08
  And then my middle son is a little stockier.
• 41:10
  He's a little full, but he eats so healthy.
• 41:14
  He eats very balanced.
• 41:15
  He just eats a lot of food.
• 41:17
  So I just have to.
• 41:19
  Let him eat this food.
• 41:20
  Yes.
• 41:20
  Because he's doing all the things I'm telling him to do.
• 41:23
  Right.
• 41:23
  He's eating the eggs, he's eating the toast, he's doing all the balanced eating, but yeah, the food is tricky.
• 41:28
  Yeah, it's definitely interesting that you brought up that it's not in relation to looks, because I feel the same way.
• 41:34
  It obviously has benefits, you know, like it ends up benefiting your body to eat a certain way.
• 41:40
  But mine, the way I have anxiety about it, especially with my kids, is because I know how I feel when I eat terribly.
• 41:49
  It affects my entire system, mentally, physically, emotionally, I feel it.
• 41:55
  When I eat badly, I ju I really don't feel well.
• 41:59
  I just don't.
• 42:00
  So I know that's how my kids will I know that when my kids eat badly, it's coming.
• 42:04
  I, you know, it's coming.
• 42:06
  So it's triggering, again, I won't waver on that message.
• 42:10
  It's just how I'm gonna be.
• 42:12
  Sometimes when I eat too much for too long, I come home and I'm like, oh my God, I'm bloated.
• 42:17
  I'm only five two, so if I gain five pounds or lose five pounds, for me it's obvious.
• 42:22
  I don't feel like that's the same for everybody.
• 42:24
  If you have like height on your side.
• 42:26
  Yeah.
• 42:26
  But for me, I'm like, oh my God, I feel it.
• 42:29
  So what I'm not supposed to tell my girls that.
• 42:31
  I have to keep that part to myself.
• 42:33
  I know it's tricky, but then they would hear that and then maybe they're too young to process.
• 42:38
  They're way too young now.
• 42:39
  Yeah.
• 42:40
  They might not understand, I guess, the relation of how you got there, so maybe they just think, oh, she said she ate a lot.
• 42:47
  I'm just playing with that statement.
• 42:48
  But they, I think that's the part that gets hard is that kids don't really understand the full scope of things.
• 42:55
  So they might not be able to understand this equals that.
• 42:58
  They might just see like very blanket statements of okay, food makes her bloated, or food makes her feel this way.
• 43:06
  So then what do I do about that?
• 43:08
  And that's I think that's where it gets really hard.
• 43:11
  Yeah.
• 43:11
  That's when you have to start being honest with yourself.
• 43:14
  Children are very humbling because you have to look deep down and all this stuff that you say to yourself, if you say out loud, they're gonna question you on it.
• 43:22
  Right.
• 43:23
  And then you're like, oh, well I didn't really mean that.
• 43:25
  I didn't eat too much.
• 43:26
  I just ate more than I usually do because I'm on vacation.
• 43:29
  And that's okay to do and that's okay to do.
• 43:31
  Right.
• 43:32
  But then when we come back home, when you come back, you may not feel great for a day or two.
• 43:35
  Right.
• 43:35
  You know, You have to like Reregulate case in point today.
• 43:38
  That's why you're feeling like this now.
• 43:40
  'cause you, because I over participated this week's you called.
• 43:43
  I love it.
• 43:44
  I know.
• 43:44
  But you have to, yeah.
• 43:46
  I'm okay with it.
• 43:46
  Yeah.
• 43:46
  But I also have to accept that.
• 43:48
  So did my kids.
• 43:50
  And that was probably why my daughter was having a raging lunatic this week.
• 43:54
  Let's get back to being honest.
• 43:56
  What have you done that you're comfortable sharing?
• 44:00
  Have you, what do you like to do to make yourself feel your physical best that maybe has emotional and mental benefits to, okay.
• 44:09
  Oh, I love this.
• 44:10
  I love this.
• 44:10
  If you're willing to share the tea, I'll share it all.
• 44:12
  Share the teat.
• 44:13
  I'll share it all.
• 44:14
  All right.
• 44:14
  We'll start from head to toe.
• 44:16
  So I color my hair.
• 44:17
  Mm-hmm.
• 44:18
  Which, and I like straighten my hair.
• 44:21
  I do the Brazilians'cause I have like curly Yeah, you do the Brazil crazy curly hair.
• 44:24
  Yep.
• 44:25
  I.
• 44:26
  Pencil in my eyebrows every day.
• 44:28
  Mm-hmm.
• 44:28
  Because I have like thin eyebrows.
• 44:31
  I do laser hair removal.
• 44:32
  Mm-hmm.
• 44:33
  Because I have a mustache and one eyebrow and all the things.
• 44:36
  So I do laser hair removal, but I do Botox.
• 44:39
  Mm-hmm.
• 44:40
  I've done, I've done filler, but I only did it one time.
• 44:44
  It didn't look right on me.
• 44:46
  I don't even know why I did it.
• 44:47
  It was like a, yeah, that was a while ago.
• 44:48
  Bad.
• 44:49
  It was a while ago.
• 44:50
  What else have I done?
• 44:51
  I've done like the peels and the skin stuff.
• 44:55
  Some lasers.
• 44:55
  Some lasers.
• 44:56
  Mm-hmm.
• 44:57
  But I don't though I'm not a great laser person.
• 45:00
  I feel like for me, just like good skincare is probably best, but I do a ton of skincare stuff.
• 45:05
  I get my nails done.
• 45:06
  I work out every day.
• 45:07
  Yeah.
• 45:07
  Whether I walk or I lift weights.
• 45:11
  I try to eat healthy.
• 45:13
  It's not like I just do nothing.
• 45:15
  Right.
• 45:16
  You know?
• 45:16
  Yeah.
• 45:17
  There's upkeep.
• 45:18
  I have some upkeep.
• 45:19
  Yeah.
• 45:20
  I have some upkeep and I think that's okay.
• 45:22
  But you don't get, you don't ever gatekeep anything.
• 45:24
  No, because I'd be lying.
• 45:26
  Yep.
• 45:26
  And also, I don't expect to go to book club and sit with my friends who are the same age as me and show up.
• 45:32
  The only one that doesn't have a gray hair and not a wrinkle.
• 45:35
  How is that authentic?
• 45:36
  Yeah.
• 45:36
  No, it's not like that's a lie.
• 45:38
  Right.
• 45:39
  Is there anything that you have been wanting to do?
• 45:41
  Or is there anything that's floated around in your mind ever of I wish I could do something about this?
• 45:48
  I wanted to get a nose job.
• 45:50
  Mm.
• 45:50
  Because I hate my nose.
• 45:52
  I think it's so big.
• 45:52
  And if you hear me on this podcast, I sniffle constantly.
• 45:56
  'cause I have a deviated septum and it's like hard for me to breathe out of one side.
• 45:59
  So I wanted it to want it, to fix it.
• 46:02
  But my I still can't.
• 46:04
  I'm 30, almost 39 years old.
• 46:05
  Yeah.
• 46:05
  And I still listen to my parents, but my husband says the same thing like, right.
• 46:09
  that is your face.
• 46:10
  Don't change it.
• 46:12
  Please don't change it.
• 46:13
  So that's the only thing I've ever kind of wanted to do.
• 46:15
  That's what, that's something that you've floated.
• 46:17
  Like I, you wish you could change, but you won't.
• 46:21
  No, I won't.
• 46:21
  Okay.
• 46:22
  I'm gonna leave it all while alone.
• 46:23
  Yeah.
• 46:23
  And I've always wanted to get my boobs done too, but I'm gonna leave those alone too.
• 46:26
  Yeah.
• 46:27
  Yeah.
• 46:27
  I just feel like they're there.
• 46:30
  It's fine.
• 46:31
  Who's even looking at them anymore?
• 46:32
  Yeah.
• 46:32
  Who cares?
• 46:33
  There's one person that looks at them.
• 46:34
  Yeah.
• 46:35
  And he could care less.
• 46:35
  Yeah.
• 46:36
  So I don't know.
• 46:38
  And also like then I start to get the health anxiety and I'm like, oh my God.
• 46:42
  My mom had breast cancer.
• 46:44
  I'm gonna get these implants and then what if I have them right?
• 46:46
  And this and that, so I'm just gonna leave well enough alone.
• 46:48
  I love it.
• 46:49
  So that's what I've done.
• 46:51
  And I would share, and I also would share all of those things with my daughters.
• 46:54
  I'm like comfortable enough to share them.
• 46:56
  Yeah.
• 46:56
  They're not in hiding with her.
• 46:57
  I'm not in hiding.
• 46:58
  I think when you start to hide things,, you have to ask yourself, why are you hiding it?
• 47:03
  Why are you embarrassed?
• 47:05
  Are you ashamed of that part of you?
• 47:06
  Is that why you're trying to change it?
• 47:08
  Or are you just okay with it and you're gonna Right.
• 47:11
  So, right.
• 47:11
  What about you??
• 47:13
  So I'm kind of all of the same things.
• 47:15
  Yeah.
• 47:15
  I have hair extensions.
• 47:16
  I've had hair extensions for a long time.
• 47:18
  I have relatively thin hair, like just fine hair.
• 47:23
  So I love my extensions.
• 47:25
  They don't really give me length right now.
• 47:26
  It's just some extra volume.
• 47:27
  Mm-hmm.
• 47:28
  And I obviously share that because I share who I go to, which is Sam from at Paint Love Blend, who I love.
• 47:34
  We both go to her.
• 47:35
  She actually, she's the best.
• 47:36
  So I love my hair extensions.
• 47:37
  They, they actually are something that I feel like ends up helping me out a little bit more than like upkeep.
• 47:45
  Mm-hmm.
• 47:46
  And it, they allow me to kind of wash my hair a little bit less and to kind of keep the style for longer.
• 47:52
  Mm-hmm.
• 47:52
  So it's actually like high maintenance that gives me, like loan maintenance.
• 47:56
  Mm-hmm.
• 47:56
  You know.
• 47:57
  And I do get Botox.
• 47:59
  I have not gotten Botox for a long time.
• 48:01
  I haven't gotten it since January I think.
• 48:03
  So it is completely worn off.
• 48:05
  I have full movement of my face right now.
• 48:07
  But does it wear off quickly for you?
• 48:08
  It does.
• 48:09
  It does.
• 48:09
  I like must metabolize it very fast, so I usually, I'm not frozen for very, very long.
• 48:15
  I feel like I always have movement to my face.
• 48:17
  Do you like that look?
• 48:17
  Do you like to be frozen or do you like No, I don't like to be frozen.
• 48:20
  Frozen.
• 48:21
  But I do like when the wrinkles, especially on my forehead, are minimal because I just feel like even for makeup it just, everything lays much nicely that when those are not there doesn't get stuck in a crease, so I love that.
• 48:34
  I have tried the lip flip, which is with Botox too.
• 48:37
  Oh I talked about that last week.
• 48:38
  Yes.
• 48:38
  Which I liked, but it's too high maintenance to continue doing it.
• 48:43
  Agree.
• 48:43
  'cause we talked about how it's really hard to drink out of a straw and you look and feel why Absolutely absurd.
• 48:48
  You're like, why did I do?
• 48:49
  Does the effect outweigh like the lifestyle change?
• 48:52
  And in that case, no.
• 48:54
  So like I didn't, yeah, there's some things where you're like, I can get on board with the maintenance for that because you like the results so much.
• 49:01
  And in that case I did not.
• 49:02
  So I only did that once and I have not done filler.
• 49:06
  Have you done any lasers or peels or anything?
• 49:09
  I've done PRP before.
• 49:11
  Oh wait, I did.
• 49:12
  That's been a long time.
• 49:13
  Wait, I did that too.
• 49:14
  Yeah.
• 49:14
  I have a funny story that the vampire facial, I have a funny story about the PRP.
• 49:18
  Go ahead, finish and I'll tell you my story.
• 49:20
  No, that's I, that was like something again, this was before I had kids and I feel like my, like queasiness has gotten so much better since having kids, but like before that, oh, yours has gotten better.
• 49:29
  Yeah, I was like, such a baby.
• 49:31
  If I had to get blood drawn, I would pass out in the chair and like I went through like some infertility and where you're just getting poked and prodded all the time.
• 49:39
  And so my like needle fear definitely subsided.
• 49:42
  Having to do all that and just like giving birth and having to get IVs and all that, like you're, in a c-section and all that, it's just like you're okay, I like, things aren't so bad.
• 49:51
  Like a little poke doesn't really freak me out anymore.
• 49:54
  But yeah the PRP is the vampire facial where they take.
• 49:58
  Your blood and they spin it down to plasma and then they microneedle you with that.
• 50:04
  And so I did have really great results from that.
• 50:06
  That was great.
• 50:07
  But that was a really long time ago.
• 50:08
  That was pre-kids, but my face looked great.
• 50:10
  But that was, I was probably in my mid thirties when Okay.
• 50:13
  I did that and I think that's get my nails done.
• 50:17
  But it's dip over my real nails right now.
• 50:19
  You were gonna tell your funny story about, wait, I'll tell you my funny story about my PRP.
• 50:23
  So I didn't do the vampire facial.
• 50:25
  So instead of getting like filler in my under eye,'cause I have like under eye hollowing, they take your blood, they spin it.
• 50:31
  And then they reinject it under your eyes.
• 50:34
  And what it does is it like.
• 50:36
  Supposed to stimulate some type of collagen.
• 50:37
  Collagen.
• 50:38
  Collagen.
• 50:38
  And it works.
• 50:39
  It does.
• 50:39
  It actually works.
• 50:40
  My hollowness was gone for probably about three and a half years.
• 50:43
  And that's probably like really good.
• 50:44
  That's like good instead of filler.
• 50:46
  'cause it probably doesn't migrate either.
• 50:48
  It gave the effect of filler because I, it got rid of all of the hollowness, but there was no filler.
• 50:53
  It's your body too.
• 50:54
  It's your own body's blood.
• 50:55
  So they took my blood.
• 50:57
  I went to New York City with my girlfriends.
• 50:58
  One of my friends goes to this place, it's next to her office.
• 51:01
  So we went in this little curtain room.
• 51:03
  And it was also during COVID, so we had like masks on.
• 51:06
  It was hot.
• 51:07
  And so I, as get overheated.
• 51:09
  Yeah, you do.
• 51:10
  And I was hungry and I had low blood sugar, like I'm a disaster.
• 51:14
  All the things.
• 51:14
  So recipe for you.
• 51:16
  Recipe for a disaster.
• 51:17
  So I'm sitting next to my girlfriend, Alana, in this tiny little room and they take my blood.
• 51:23
  I start to get a little hot.
• 51:24
  I'm like, I feel a little hot.
• 51:25
  And they're like, yeah, it's normal.
• 51:27
  So then what they do is they spin it and then they put a cannula in, and then they inject it through a cannula.
• 51:34
  The sound of the cannula on my bone was like, yeah, I would've painted guys.
• 51:42
  I'm gonna blah.
• 51:43
  Yeah.
• 51:43
  I threw Upop and then I passed out.
• 51:47
  So I wake up.
• 51:48
  It was only for yeah.
• 51:49
  Two seconds.
• 51:50
  Yeah.
• 51:50
  But I wake up and I look in the mirror and I'm like gray and sweaty.
• 51:54
  And I was like you have to do the other eye.
• 51:56
  You can't just leave me.
• 51:57
  You have one eye with one eye.
• 52:01
  How were you with the other eye?
• 52:02
  I was like, just please go fast.
• 52:03
  Yeah.
• 52:04
  So they did it fast.
• 52:05
  I drank I don't even know what I drank, like an orange juice or something.
• 52:08
  Ugh.
• 52:08
  Oh, the p pain is beauty.
• 52:10
  But it made for a funny story.
• 52:11
  Wow.
• 52:12
  I know.
• 52:12
  I fainted many a times.
• 52:14
  Like when doing, I feel like I faint.
• 52:16
  I fainted one time doing Botox the first time.
• 52:19
  No way.
• 52:19
  Just not fainted, but just got really queasy.
• 52:22
  Like that kind of blackout feeling where you're like, okay, the fuzzy ears.
• 52:26
  Like where you start to be like, yeah, it's coming.
• 52:28
  Oh my gosh.
• 52:29
  That had never happened to me before.
• 52:30
  And I fainted.
• 52:32
  For sure.
• 52:32
  Like Fainted.
• 52:33
  Fainted.
• 52:34
  When we did the PRP,'cause they had to take the blood and I definitely passed out and but see now our daughters are gonna come to us and be like, mommy, we wanna do this.
• 52:43
  And we're gonna be like, you idiot, you're gonna pass out, you're gonna throw up.
• 52:47
  I know.
• 52:47
  No, I know.
• 52:49
  Worth it.
• 52:49
  I don't know, even though we did it.
• 52:50
  Yeah, I know.
• 52:51
  Alright.
• 52:51
  So what is it that you wanna try then?
• 52:53
  I've been really wanting to get my eyebrows.
• 52:56
  I've never done microblading and I don't know if I wanna do microblading.
• 53:00
  I think microblading ha I think microblading has come a long way since the beginning.
• 53:04
  Like I feel like it looks so much more natural than it used to.
• 53:07
  So I've been wanting to do that, but I also might just try a shape and tint.
• 53:12
  That's, and maybe a lamination where it's like they set them where they're fluffy and brushed up and then it stays that way.
• 53:18
  So I might try that first before I do any sort of like permanent.
• 53:22
  Sarah does that at MNAs.
• 53:23
  Yeah, I know she does.
• 53:24
  Oh.
• 53:24
  Yep.
• 53:25
  So there you go.
• 53:25
  Are you gonna try there?
• 53:26
  I know I've been, yeah, I've been playing around with doing that.
• 53:29
  Okay.
• 53:29
  And just to'cause I think when my brows are.
• 53:33
  Lifted my brows I don't have brows that like naturally go up or stay up.
• 53:38
  And I think all it takes is just like brushing them up in a certain way and your eyes just like immediately open and you just look so much less tired.
• 53:47
  And my face looks more symmetrical that way.
• 53:50
  And so I, that's been something that I've been like, oh, I wanna do something like that.
• 53:54
  Like I feel like brows just have such an impact on your face and it's an easy like low maintenance, low hurting type of thing that to do, they do have a big effect.
• 54:04
  Yes, for sure.
• 54:05
  So that's something on my mind I wanna do something like that.
• 54:08
  For sure.
• 54:09
  And then the other thing that I did do, and this was after baby number two, was I did sculp.
• 54:15
  Oh yes.
• 54:15
  And that was, I did that too.
• 54:17
  Yeah, that, there you go.
• 54:18
  Okay.
• 54:18
  So we'll add those.
• 54:19
  You're like prompting me.
• 54:20
  I keep, yeah.
• 54:21
  So that was great.
• 54:22
  I did that after baby number two.
• 54:24
  That was less for looks and more for, I wanted my core strength back because something happened after baby number two.
• 54:34
  It did not happen after baby number one, which is shocking because I had a C-section for Leo who was my first, and then I had a.
• 54:43
  Vaginal delivery the second time around.
• 54:45
  And I felt like I lost my core the second time around and not the first, which very, huh.
• 54:52
  Which really shocked me.
• 54:53
  'cause I would've thought the C-section would've really put me over the edge in terms of cut them half losing my core.
• 54:58
  But I, with my second, I just, I felt like I had absolutely no core strength left and it was affecting my.
• 55:06
  Back.
• 55:07
  Like I felt like I could not, I had no strength.
• 55:10
  Like it was more for help me tighten this back up so I can at least hold my baby without like wincing and pain.
• 55:17
  And so that, it did help.
• 55:18
  I did four sessions of that.
• 55:20
  Did you do the one that was like the clamshell or did you do the one that was front?
• 55:24
  I did the one that was on the front because it was mainly about my abs.
• 55:27
  And did you, which one did you do?
• 55:30
  I did both.
• 55:31
  The one that was like the clamshell they say really helps with the back too.
• 55:34
  Oh, okay.
• 55:35
  Because half of it goes on your back and the other half goes on your stomach.
• 55:38
  Yeah.
• 55:38
  Because your core does wrap around.
• 55:39
  So that probably would've been better for me for that, but it did work really well.
• 55:44
  I did it well because I like to have that look of abs.
• 55:47
  Like when you like look shredded and have abs.
• 55:49
  But that doesn't really happen to me all that often, just after a stomach bug.
• 55:53
  But I did it too because I had that abdominal diastasis.
• 55:56
  Yes.
• 55:56
  After I had the twins.
• 55:57
  So did I.
• 55:58
  And so that helped with that.
• 55:58
  And it did help with that.
• 55:59
  Definitely.
• 56:00
  It did help with that.
• 56:00
  Yeah.
• 56:01
  So I feel I think I had it after, it was probably like starting with baby number one and then really with baby number two.
• 56:08
  It was just I that I felt the same exact way.
• 56:10
  So it did really help with that and I loved it.
• 56:13
  Where did you go for that?
• 56:15
  I went to Ignite Med Spa.
• 56:16
  Oh, okay.
• 56:16
  And I got it done there.
• 56:17
  Yeah, it was great.
• 56:18
  Is that in West Hartford?
• 56:18
  Great.
• 56:18
  Yes, in West Hartford, Connecticut.
• 56:20
  Okay.
• 56:21
  I loved that.
• 56:21
  Yeah.
• 56:22
  Highly recommend that.
• 56:23
  It's definitely worth it.
• 56:24
  Yeah.
• 56:25
  Yeah.
• 56:25
  It's not cheap.
• 56:26
  No.
• 56:26
  It's and I think you have to do at least four.
• 56:29
  You have to do a handful of sessions.
• 56:31
  Sessions, yeah.
• 56:31
  To get the results.
• 56:32
  But that was really great.
• 56:33
  So these are all tweaks that we do to ourselves.
• 56:35
  Every day.
• 56:36
  We don't wake up looking like this.
• 56:38
  Absolutely not.
• 56:38
  And that's why even.
• 56:41
  For me, having a very short, non-negotiable skincare routine in the morning.
• 56:45
  I come out looking like a completely different person than when I go into the bathroom first thing in the morning, like just the few products that I put on my face, brush up the brows, put a quick lip on like my serums, like I just, it, it instantly changes how I look and feel.
• 57:03
  So like I have to, so you're doing, so I have it more for you than for others?
• 57:06
  For sure, because I feel immediately, like I just feel like a new, fresh person I need those few they're like small but mighty, do you think there's a difference between looking good and feeling good?
• 57:18
  I think they're connected for sure.
• 57:20
  So last year I had a.
• 57:23
  Huge dramatic weight loss after baby number two.
• 57:26
  It was very unintentional.
• 57:28
  It was due to so much stress.
• 57:30
  That's what happens to my body when when I'm stressed, I, your body burns off.
• 57:37
  Yes.
• 57:38
  Everything my body.
• 57:38
  And last year it was the combination of just not eating, not sleeping, not taking care of my body, being under tremendous stress, being so sleep deprived.
• 57:49
  And I just had, I lost so much weight.
• 57:52
  Like it's something I haven't really talked about publicly before, but it was completely unintentional.
• 57:57
  And so in some aspects you would think that I lost the baby weight.
• 58:03
  I'm saying that in like quotations, right?
• 58:05
  Somebody might say to you, good, somebody might say, good.
• 58:08
  Wow, you lost the baby weight really fast.
• 58:11
  And I did, I lost the baby weight.
• 58:15
  Weight, that, and probably another 15 pounds.
• 58:17
  It was insane.
• 58:18
  I like may have looked okay, like just because the weight was off, but the weight off did not equate to me feeling good or strong.
• 58:28
  And it was not a good thing.
• 58:30
  It was not a good thing.
• 58:31
  I also didn't do it in a healthy way.
• 58:34
  It was just right.
• 58:36
  I feel like when you do things slowly, it, everything looks good, you look healthy.
• 58:43
  Mine was simply that I just wasn't taking care of my body, right?
• 58:46
  With my son, which was my first pregnancy, I never went back down to my pre-baby weight.
• 58:54
  But I looked and felt good.
• 58:57
  I felt very strong.
• 58:58
  I.
• 59:00
  Really, I think that if I look back at like when I was happiest with my body, it was after that because I may have looked completely different than I did Preki.
• 59:10
  But you felt good.
• 59:11
  But I felt so strong and I was so proud of what my body had done and what I had gone through.
• 59:16
  And so that's like a very positive, like memory for me.
• 59:21
  Yeah.
• 59:21
  Is like looking back and feeling like I felt so good at that point.
• 59:25
  I didn't look like I used to, but I was okay with it and I was just very proud of myself.
• 59:31
  And then after this year I really had to focus on, and that's sometimes when I talk about, and I reference like being physically healthy.
• 59:40
  That's what I have to talk about is just getting my body back to a really good point.
• 59:45
  And eating well, taking care of myself, putting my body and my mind first.
• 59:50
  I think when you feel good, it ends up on the outside, and I think sometimes when you look good, it doesn't always mean that you're on the inside.
• 1:00:01
  You're good.
• 1:00:02
  So I think that usually when you're feeling good, it's outwardly portrayed somehow, interesting.
• 1:00:07
  It's interesting though about that weight loss because oftentimes if somebody loses weight, the just like the thing to say is oh wow, you look good.
• 1:00:17
  You look like you lost some weight.
• 1:00:18
  You look great.
• 1:00:18
  Yep.
• 1:00:19
  But you would never say that to somebody if they put few pounds on, you would never say, oh, you gained 10 pounds, you look great.
• 1:00:26
  But I will say in some of, even like our group of friends and some of the people I know myself, you at times when I've been thinner is when I haven't been so good.
• 1:00:36
  Yes.
• 1:00:37
  Mentally, yes.
• 1:00:37
  And other times when I'm like a little on the heavier side, and again, I'm using heavier for your body, for just for my body, for your body.
• 1:00:44
  It's actually when I'm feeling best.
• 1:00:46
  Yes.
• 1:00:47
  'cause maybe I'm not as stressed.
• 1:00:48
  I'm sleeping better.
• 1:00:48
  Yes.
• 1:00:49
  I'm exercising.
• 1:00:49
  When I exercise, you're balance.
• 1:00:51
  And I lift weights.
• 1:00:51
  I'm usually a little heavier.
• 1:00:53
  Like all the good things.
• 1:00:54
  Yes.
• 1:00:54
  I, it probably means you're enjoying yourself too.
• 1:00:56
  Sure.
• 1:00:57
  Yeah, I think that's exactly how, that's how my body works too, right?
• 1:01:01
  Like when I am at my thinnest, it doesn't usually mean I'm at my best.
• 1:01:06
  So I just think, and again, I understand some people, it might be the opposite, right?
• 1:01:10
  It might be the opposite.
• 1:01:11
  But I just also, that messaging, I think you have to be careful with too.
• 1:01:15
  Oh, you lost weight, you look good.
• 1:01:17
  Or you gained weight, and you don't say anything.
• 1:01:20
  Like, how about you lost weight?
• 1:01:21
  Hey, is everything okay?
• 1:01:23
  Yeah.
• 1:01:23
  Everything all we're like, we always say we grew up in that skinny culture, right?
• 1:01:27
  Where it's, but it was like skinny raised, but it was like skinny fat in a way.
• 1:01:32
  Bagels were like, oh, no fat in a bagel.
• 1:01:35
  Okay.
• 1:01:35
  We know now that's absolutely ridiculous and you're not going to eat a bagel like 10 bagels a day and then not eat any, fat and be healthy.
• 1:01:43
  I think things have changed too, in a good way.
• 1:01:45
  They have.
• 1:01:45
  Oh, for sure.
• 1:01:46
  The messaging I think now is so much better and, but I just think that it's tough because we're always wrangling what we grew up around, and that doesn't even necessarily mean like what our parents said to us or did to us.
• 1:02:01
  No.
• 1:02:01
  What was just out there.
• 1:02:02
  It just means like the messaging from a culture standpoint has changed so much from what it used to be when we were growing up, and now we're grappling with what do we then do?
• 1:02:14
  Yeah.
• 1:02:15
  As part of the culture for our kids growing up, and what we do.
• 1:02:18
  Tricky for ourselves.
• 1:02:19
  It's a tricky conversation.
• 1:02:20
  It is.
• 1:02:20
  It is curious to hear from our listeners if any of this is a trigger for them or I know.
• 1:02:26
  Or if we hit or miss the mark on anything.
• 1:02:29
  Okay, so we'll close with our pink spotlight, which of course is our little tip, something that we're loving that's making the week or just life just a little bit better.
• 1:02:39
  And do you wanna share yours?
• 1:02:40
  Sure.
• 1:02:41
  So mine was actually inspired by your husband, Raja.
• 1:02:44
  Oh.
• 1:02:45
  And when you guys were here a few weeks ago raja said, do you guys, do you give your kids an allowance?
• 1:02:50
  Oh.
• 1:02:50
  And I like snapped at him and I was like, Raja, look at this house.
• 1:02:54
  Look at how my children are growing up.
• 1:02:56
  They have everything that they want.
• 1:02:58
  You think that I can incentivize them to do anything?
• 1:03:01
  And he was like, no, I think you could, I think with a little bit of money you could incentivize them to do some of these chores.
• 1:03:06
  'Cause your husband grew up in a big family where they all had to pull Yep.
• 1:03:09
  Very similar.
• 1:03:09
  Pull their weight.
• 1:03:10
  Lots of kids.
• 1:03:10
  Was he was speaking more from like the 10-year-old Raj, not from like the 40-year-old Raj.
• 1:03:15
  So actually my daughter Ava got targeted on this app that she's playing for the green light card.
• 1:03:22
  Have you heard of the green light card?
• 1:03:23
  No.
• 1:03:24
  So I'm late to the game'cause a bunch of my friends have been using this for their kids for years.
• 1:03:28
  But what you do is you order these, basically, like these credit cards for your kids.
• 1:03:33
  You link them to your bank account and there's an app.
• 1:03:37
  So every kid has their own credit card and they got to design the outside of it.
• 1:03:40
  Like one put a dog on it, one put a fish, whatever.
• 1:03:43
  And those credit cards, I think it's a MasterCard can be used anywhere at Target, like out in the open, it's their own card.
• 1:03:50
  Oh.
• 1:03:50
  And how what you do is there's an app.
• 1:03:52
  So I have the app on my phone and then they have the apps on their tablets and so they can check off and see what chores they have to do for that day.
• 1:04:02
  Oh, cool.
• 1:04:02
  So I can add a chore for them.
• 1:04:04
  I can add them okay.
• 1:04:06
  You, I can also add like an incentive, like sleep in your bed every night this week, that's 50 cents every time you sleep in your bed or however I wanna play it.
• 1:04:14
  Or, okay.
• 1:04:15
  Mom's not home.
• 1:04:16
  I'm adding chores for everybody.
• 1:04:18
  Like empty the trash.
• 1:04:20
  Wipe down whatever chores my kids are responsible with.
• 1:04:23
  And then they get money for their chores and I, from my bank account, transfer it to their green light card.
• 1:04:29
  Oh, okay.
• 1:04:29
  And then that way they can have their own money to spend.
• 1:04:32
  Oh wow.
• 1:04:32
  I like that.
• 1:04:33
  It's, I like that it's tied together.
• 1:04:35
  So like it actually.
• 1:04:36
  Holds it accountable.
• 1:04:38
  Like it holds them accountable for the chores.
• 1:04:40
  Yeah.
• 1:04:40
  They can see And that's how they get it.
• 1:04:42
  Yeah.
• 1:04:42
  So then if they wanna go to Target, so you go in and say yes, this was done.
• 1:04:46
  And then they get the amount set for that thing.
• 1:04:48
  Yeah.
• 1:04:48
  Oh, that's really cool.
• 1:04:49
  They can check it off.
• 1:04:50
  Yep.
• 1:04:50
  And then I add the money.
• 1:04:51
  Oh, I love that.
• 1:04:52
  So it's, okay.
• 1:04:53
  So this is for allowance.
• 1:04:54
  This is, it's an allowance.
• 1:04:56
  This is really cool.
• 1:04:56
  Yeah.
• 1:04:56
  It's an allowance.
• 1:04:57
  And you, there's just ways that like, everything gets digitized now and it's, yeah, it's like you can't really give your kids cash anymore.
• 1:05:03
  'cause they can't really do much with it.
• 1:05:04
  It's interesting.
• 1:05:05
  My oldest didn't want the green light card.
• 1:05:07
  He wanted the cash.
• 1:05:09
  'cause he likes to save money like in a box and squirrel it away.
• 1:05:12
  Where my other kids are more like digital probably.
• 1:05:14
  Yeah.
• 1:05:15
  They wanna go to Target.
• 1:05:15
  They wanna buy stuff.
• 1:05:16
  He right now is like saving up for a pc, but whatever.
• 1:05:19
  That's him.
• 1:05:21
  But I like this card idea.
• 1:05:22
  That's a really good idea.
• 1:05:23
  I love that.
• 1:05:24
  So we'll see how it, we'll see how it goes.
• 1:05:26
  Yeah.
• 1:05:26
  You'll have to update us.
• 1:05:27
  They're always asking for things.
• 1:05:29
  And it's hard not to buy your kids stuff when you're like out at Target getting toiletries and they're like, oh, this, that, and I'm happy to get them stuff, but sometimes I'm like, no.
• 1:05:39
  You need to use your own money.
• 1:05:40
  And they're like, we don't have any money.
• 1:05:42
  So now, yeah, you're gonna have to update us and I'll have to tell Raja as Yes.
• 1:05:46
  That's really cool.
• 1:05:47
  Tell Ra.
• 1:05:48
  I love that.
• 1:05:49
  That's great.
• 1:05:50
  Yeah.
• 1:05:50
  So the green light cards, that's a really good tip.
• 1:05:52
  I love it.
• 1:05:53
  Okay, so mine is a product kind of on the line of what we've been talking about.
• 1:05:58
  Just like something I've been a little bit insecure with is, it's called the Sculpt by You Beauty.
• 1:06:06
  It's supposed to help.
• 1:06:08
  Tighten and firm your skin, and so it says that it's called the sculpt arm compound.
• 1:06:15
  So that's actually what I bought it for because in pregnancy I gained a lot of weight in my arms and I felt like on the backs of my arms that there was just some texture there that just looked from probably like both times of the weight loss, the weight gain, and then the weight loss.
• 1:06:30
  There's just some kind of like very faint.
• 1:06:31
  Is it like that creepiness?
• 1:06:32
  Yeah, it's a little creepy and it's a little, almost like some stretch marks oh, so I got.
• 1:06:39
  Specifically for that, and I was using that.
• 1:06:41
  That was like where the first bottle went.
• 1:06:43
  And then I actually went online and read about it because I was like, oh, this is great.
• 1:06:47
  And it had really great reviews.
• 1:06:49
  And so when I got my second bottle, it was like, oh, it's for your arms, your belly I was like, oh, it's like obviously you can use it in other places besides your arms.
• 1:06:57
  So I started using it a couple of months ago on my stomach for the same reasons, just to firm up that skin.
• 1:07:04
  That was from the weight loss and weight gain, and I really like it.
• 1:07:09
  I love the ingredients in this and it's.
• 1:07:12
  I just think that this line, this specifically for body, I have a really great like skincare face routine.
• 1:07:17
  But not a body line, but I've neglected my body and so I really like this line.
• 1:07:22
  They have a lot of really amazing body products, arm compounds and it's arm compound, but it can be used for anything.
• 1:07:27
  And it's like a nice thick cream when you put it on there is almost like a little bit of a, it smells good.
• 1:07:33
  There's a little bit of a, something like a Z with it, right?
• 1:07:36
  Like it's not, I wouldn't say it's like a zing, but it's something along those lines.
• 1:07:40
  I feel like it's like just helping to tighten it up, but I really like it and it's not greasy.
• 1:07:45
  I like the ingredients in it and it's been great.
• 1:07:48
  So they did give me a discount code.
• 1:07:51
  It's Christina with A-C-H-C-H-R-I-S-T-I-N-A for 20% off anything.
• 1:07:55
  Oh wow.
• 1:07:56
  On the site.
• 1:07:57
  And so I'll leave the link to the exact product, but you can use that discount code at anything you beauty.
• 1:08:03
  Oh, okay.
• 1:08:04
  This is great.
• 1:08:04
  Yes.
• 1:08:05
  This has been really great for anywhere that you wanna like lift and tighten.
• 1:08:09
  It says arms, neck, and chest.
• 1:08:11
  But I used it on my stomach and it has anywhere where that creepiness can start.
• 1:08:16
  Yes.
• 1:08:16
  And I really should be putting it on my chest too.
• 1:08:18
  'cause I feel like with sleeping and stuff, that creepiness starts there.
• 1:08:21
  So that's actually didn't realize you could put it on your neck.
• 1:08:23
  Yeah.
• 1:08:24
  And your chest.
• 1:08:24
  So I'm gonna try that too.
• 1:08:25
  But I love this too.
• 1:08:26
  I love, I really like the whole line.
• 1:08:29
  I like it.
• 1:08:30
  I like it.
• 1:08:31
  All righty, girl.
• 1:08:34
  Oh, thanks for bearing with me today.
• 1:08:35
  I know all of you.
• 1:08:36
  Thank you guys so much.
• 1:08:37
  And just a reminder about the little gift giveaway that we're doing.
• 1:08:42
  If you leave us a written review on Apple we will send you a beautiful little pink flamingo bracelet.
• 1:08:48
  Yeah.
• 1:08:48
  And I'm wearing mine now.
• 1:08:50
  I just mailed the out this now morning before.
• 1:08:51
  Thank you to anybody who left a review.
• 1:08:53
  We really appreciate it and are just happy to send you any sort of token of appreciation.
• 1:08:57
  It helps other women find us.
• 1:08:59
  Yes.
• 1:08:59
  Which is so exciting.
• 1:09:00
  Our Pippa community is growing.
• 1:09:02
  Yes.
• 1:09:02
  Which is exciting.
• 1:09:03
  So thank you guys.
• 1:09:03
  We'll see you next week.
• 1:09:04
  Have a great week.
• 1:09:05
  Have a good weekend.
• 1:09:06
  Bye bye.