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297. Why Pressure Makes Your Mind Louder (And What to Do About It) · The Kathie Owen Perspective Podcast

• 0:00
  Kathie (2): The other day, I caught myself having a conversation in my head, not with another person, with myself.
• 0:06
  Kathie (2): I was walking through the grocery store and replaying a consulting conversation I'd had earlier that day.
• 0:14
  Kathie (2): I was thinking about what I should have said, what I could have said differently, what I missed, what I got wrong, and the crazy part was the conversation had been over for hours.
• 0:26
  Kathie (2): Nothing was happening.
• 0:28
  Kathie (2): There was no emergency, no crisis, no problem to solve, yet there I was, walking through the produce section, creating pressure about something that had already happened.
• 0:39
  Kathie (2): And then I noticed it.
• 0:41
  Kathie (2): I noticed the voice.
• 0:43
  Kathie (2): I noticed the story.
• 0:45
  Kathie (2): I noticed my mind trying to create certainty around something that could no longer be changed.
• 0:53
  Kathie (2): And in that moment, I realized something.
• 0:55
  Kathie (2): The pressure wasn't coming from the conversation.
• 0:58
  Kathie (2): The pressure was coming from the conversation I was having with myself about the conversation.
• 1:05
  Kathie (2): And that's when I started thinking about something I see everywhere in leaders and founders, in families, in athletes, in teams, and even in myself.
• 1:14
  Kathie (2): Pressure doesn't create patterns.
• 1:18
  Kathie (2): Pressure reveals them.
• 1:22
  Kathie (2): Welcome to the Kathie Owen Perspective podcast.
• 1:24
  Kathie (2): My name is Kathie Owen.
• 1:26
  Kathie (2): I'm a consultant, speaker, and the author of Human Patterns Under Pressure.
• 1:31
  Kathie (2): I work with leaders, teams, founders, and professionals who are navigating uncertainty, conflict, change, and high-stakes decisions.
• 1:40
  Kathie (2): And over the years, I've noticed something fascinating.
• 1:44
  Kathie (2): People rarely struggle because of the situation they're facing.
• 1:48
  Kathie (2): They struggle because of what pressure reveals inside of them.
• 1:53
  Kathie (2): And today, I want to talk about one of the most important patterns I've ever observed: the voice in our heads.
• 2:01
  Kathie (2): And what happens when pressure turns up the volume.
• 2:05
  Kathie (2): One of the reasons Michael Singer's work resonates so deeply with me is because he points out something most people completely miss.
• 2:13
  Kathie (2): There's a voice in your head, and it never stops talking.
• 2:17
  Kathie (2): It's commenting, judging, predicting, explaining, worrying, planning, creating stories.
• 2:23
  Kathie (2): The strange thing is that most people don't realize they're listening to it.
• 2:29
  Kathie (2): They assume the voice is them.
• 2:32
  Kathie (2): Then pressure arrives, and suddenly the voice gets louder.
• 2:37
  Kathie (2): A difficult conversation, a delayed response, a financial challenge, a relationship issue, a business decision, and now the voice becomes impossible to ignore.
• 2:49
  Kathie (2): What if this doesn't work?
• 2:51
  Kathie (2): What if I made a mistake?
• 2:53
  Kathie (2): What if they misunderstood?
• 2:55
  Kathie (2): What if I'm behind?
• 2:56
  Kathie (2): What if I'm not doing enough?
• 2:59
  Kathie (2): The pressure didn't create the voice.
• 3:03
  Kathie (2): The pressure revealed it.
• 3:06
  Kathie (2): This is where my work differs from traditional coaching.
• 3:10
  Kathie (2): When I work with people, I'm not primarily looking at the problem they're describing.
• 3:15
  Kathie (2): I'm looking for the pressure point because pressure reveals patterns.
• 3:21
  Kathie (2): Recently, after a consulting session, I found myself replaying the conversation in my head, not the breakthroughs, not the value that was created, and not the things that went well, the mistakes, the things I wish I had said differently, the places I could improve.
• 3:38
  Kathie (2): And at first, it felt productive.
• 3:40
  Kathie (2): Then later that day, while I was walking through the dang grocery store, I caught myself.
• 3:46
  Kathie (2): The voice was still talking.
• 3:48
  Kathie (2): It was still reviewing, still analyzing, still trying to create certainty about something that had already happened.
• 3:55
  Kathie (2): And in that moment, I noticed something important.
• 4:00
  Kathie (2): The pressure wasn't coming from the consulting session anymore.
• 4:03
  Kathie (2): The pressure was coming from the pattern, and the pattern was pressure arrives.
• 4:11
  Kathie (2): The voice starts talking.
• 4:12
  Kathie (2): The voice starts analyzing.
• 4:14
  Kathie (2): The mind starts searching for certainty.
• 4:16
  Kathie (2): And that's exactly what I help people identify, not the event, the pattern.
• 4:23
  Kathie (2): Because once you see the pattern, you have the ability to interrupt it.
• 4:28
  Kathie (2): But here's what makes this difficult.
• 4:31
  Kathie (2): The voice rarely sounds irrational.
• 4:33
  Kathie (2): It actually sounds reasonable.
• 4:35
  Kathie (2): That's why people follow it.
• 4:37
  Kathie (2): The voice says,"I should think about this a little bit longer." Says,"I need more information.
• 4:44
  Kathie (2): "Maybe I should wait until I'm sure.""I need to figure out exactly how this is gonna work." It sounds responsible, it sounds intelligent, it sounds helpful, but underneath all those thoughts is usually the same thing, the need for certainty.
• 5:03
  Kathie (2): The mind wants certainty Because uncertainty feels unsafe, and that's where Reality Transurfing enters the conversation.
• 5:13
  Kathie (2): Reality Transurfing is a book written by Russian quantum physicist Vadim Zeland, and it teaches that when we make something excessively important, we create what Vadim Zeland calls excess potential.
• 5:27
  Kathie (2): Think about how often this happens.
• 5:29
  Kathie (2): A client becomes critically important.
• 5:32
  Kathie (2): A relationship becomes critically important.
• 5:34
  Kathie (2): A business opportunity becomes critically important.
• 5:38
  Kathie (2): A speaking engagement becomes critically important.
• 5:41
  Kathie (2): The more important it becomes, the more emotional charge we create around it, and the more emotional charge we create, the harder it becomes to think clearly.
• 5:50
  Kathie (2): The voice feeds importance.
• 5:52
  Kathie (2): Importance feeds pressure.
• 5:54
  Kathie (2): Pressure feeds anxiety.
• 5:56
  Kathie (2): Anxiety feeds the voice, and now we're stuck in a loop, not because reality is creating pressure, Because we are creating pressure around reality.
• 6:09
  Kathie (2): This is where most people lose themselves.
• 6:11
  Kathie (2): The voice gets activated and importance rises.
• 6:14
  Kathie (2): Emotional charge increases, and now attention gets pulled into the story.
• 6:19
  Kathie (2): Reality transurfing calls this feeding a pendulum.
• 6:25
  Kathie (2): The more attention we give something, the stronger it becomes, and the stronger it becomes, the more attention it demands.
• 6:31
  Kathie (2): Soon, we're no longer observing the story.
• 6:34
  Kathie (2): We're living inside of it, and we've all done this.
• 6:38
  Kathie (2): A difficult email, a family conflict, a leadership challenge, a financial concern, a health issue.
• 6:45
  Kathie (2): Nothing is actually happening in the moment, but the story is running nonstop.
• 6:51
  Kathie (2): The pendulum has our attention, and wherever our attention goes, energy flows.
• 6:57
  Kathie (2): And this Is where Michael Singer and Reality Transurfing beautifully come together.
• 7:03
  Kathie (2): Michael Singer teaches awareness.
• 7:05
  Kathie (2): Reality Transurfing teaches attention.
• 7:08
  Kathie (2): Both are pointing to the same thing.
• 7:11
  Kathie (2): Observe, notice, watch, become aware because the moment awareness appears, something powerful happens.
• 7:19
  Kathie (2): You are no longer completely identified with the voice.
• 7:23
  Kathie (2): You become the observer, and that's where choice lives.
• 7:28
  Kathie (2): The voice may still be talking, but now you're listening to it instead of automatically believing it.
• 7:35
  Kathie (2): That's a completely different experience, and it's where change begins.
• 7:41
  Kathie (2): So now is a great time to share with you a lesson I call I'm Running on God's Time.
• 7:47
  Kathie (2): And years ago, this lesson started for me when I was stuck in traffic.
• 7:51
  Kathie (2): I was running late, watching the clock, trying to mentally force traffic to move faster, as if frustration could somehow clear the highway.
• 8:00
  Kathie (2): And I remember saying,"We're running on God's time." At first, it was simply a way to let go, but over the years it became something much deeper.
• 8:11
  Kathie (2): Now I use it whenever the voice starts demanding certainty, because that's what the voice always wants.
• 8:19
  Kathie (2): The how, the timeline, the guarantee, the proof, the certainty.
• 8:25
  Kathie (2): And Neville Goddard often talked about the bridge of incidents.
• 8:29
  Kathie (2): Yes, I brought Neville Goddard into this episode too.
• 8:33
  Kathie (2): You know, he talks about the bridge of incidents, and that is the path that unfolds between where you are and where you're going.
• 8:42
  Kathie (2): The interesting thing about the bridge of incidents is that you cannot predict it.
• 8:47
  Kathie (2): You cannot force it.
• 8:48
  Kathie (2): You cannot map every step.
• 8:51
  Kathie (2): Life unfolds through conversations, opportunities, delays, detours, and events we could never have imagined.
• 8:59
  Kathie (2): Looking back, the path makes sense.
• 9:02
  Kathie (2): You know, Steve Jobs says it,"I can connect the dots looking backward." And looking forward, the path rarely makes sense.
• 9:10
  Kathie (2): The voice wants certainty.
• 9:12
  Kathie (2): Life asks for trust.
• 9:14
  Kathie (2): I'm gonna repeat that because it's super important.
• 9:17
  Kathie (2): The voice wants certainty, and life asks for trust.
• 9:22
  Kathie (2): The voice wants control, and life asks for participation.
• 9:27
  Kathie (2): The voice wants answers, and life asks for presence.
• 9:32
  Kathie (2): When I remind myself that we're running on God's time, I'm not giving up.
• 9:37
  Kathie (2): Believe me, I'm not giving up.
• 9:39
  Kathie (2): I'm interrupting the pattern.
• 9:41
  Kathie (2): I'm stepping out of the need for certainty.
• 9:43
  Kathie (2): I'm releasing the importance.
• 9:45
  Kathie (2): I'm starving the pendulum, and I'm returning to the present moment.
• 9:52
  Kathie (2): This is why I believe pressure can be such a powerful teacher.
• 9:56
  Kathie (2): Pressure reveals patterns.
• 9:58
  Kathie (2): The pattern reveals where attention goes, and attention reveals what we've been practicing.
• 10:04
  Kathie (2): And awareness gives us the opportunity to choose something different.
• 10:11
  Kathie (2): So the next time pressure shows up, don't focus on the problem.
• 10:15
  Kathie (2): Observe the pattern.
• 10:17
  Kathie (2): Listen to the voice.
• 10:18
  Kathie (2): Notice what it's saying.
• 10:20
  Kathie (2): Notice where it's pulling your attention.
• 10:22
  Kathie (2): Notice how badly it wants certainty.
• 10:25
  Kathie (2): Then step back.
• 10:26
  Kathie (2): Become the observer, because pressure doesn't create the pattern.
• 10:31
  Kathie (2): Pressure reveals it.
• 10:33
  Kathie (2): And once you can see it, you can change it.
• 10:38
  Kathie (2): All right.
• 10:39
  Kathie (2): Thank you for being here today.
• 10:40
  Kathie (2): I trust that you found today's episode helpful, and if you'd like to go deeper into this topic, I've written a companion blog post with additional insights and resources, and I'll have it linked in the show notes and description below.
• 10:55
  Kathie (2): And if you're navigating uncertainty, leadership challenges, team dynamics, or major transitions, I'd love to connect and show you how pattern recognition can help you make better decisions under pressure.
• 11:10
  Kathie (2): Until next time, remember, pressure reveals patterns, awareness interrupts them, and that changes everything.