Latest / Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families / #169 I'll Do Better Tomorrow

Transcript

#169 I'll Do Better Tomorrow · Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families

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  Speaker 1: What it's really about is reflecting on what's happened over
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  Speaker 1: the last week and what we can learn so that
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  Speaker 1: we can be better parents tomorrow.
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  Speaker 2: It's the Happy Families podcast.
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  Speaker 3: It's the podcast for the time poor parent who just
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  Speaker 3: wants answers.
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  Speaker 2: Now Gooday.
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  Speaker 1: This is doctor Justin Coilson, the author of six books
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  Speaker 1: about raising happy families. And I'm here on Black Friday,
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  Speaker 1: the day that the shopping goes bananas, with my wife,
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  Speaker 1: who is very eager to do some shopping. But first
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  Speaker 1: we're going to do this podcast. Missus Happy Families. Kylie
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  Speaker 1: smiling at me because she knows what it's on that
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  Speaker 1: Black Friday's shopping list.
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  Speaker 2: Hey, before we.
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  Speaker 1: Talk about what's on your list in my list, can
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  Speaker 1: I just put in a big plug for what we're
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  Speaker 1: doing on Happy Families. We are today only offering fifty
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  Speaker 1: percent off our annual membership.
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  Speaker 3: Wow, that's essayl They're the kind I.
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  Speaker 2: Like, so fifty percent of which is I'm president.
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  Speaker 1: We've never done it before, but then again, the membership's
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  Speaker 1: only a few months old, and I just really want
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  Speaker 1: to emphasize that if you want to take advantage of
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  Speaker 1: this instead of it being twelve dollars a month or
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  Speaker 1: seventeen dollars a month. It's half that the value is
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  Speaker 1: off the scale.
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  Speaker 3: It's on the membership as well.
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  Speaker 1: It's on the membership and we're offering fifty percent off
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  Speaker 1: everything that's digital, and there's a whole lot of other sales.
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  Speaker 1: If you want the info, just go to Happy Families
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  Speaker 1: dot com dot au or jump onto my Facebook page
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  Speaker 1: because we're giving stuff away all day as well. Wow,
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  Speaker 1: so Doctor Justice or Society, Happy Families, it's all there
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  Speaker 1: for our Black Friday sale. That's not the purpose of
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  Speaker 1: this podcast though, but I did want to mention it
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  Speaker 1: because hey, you know what, if you like what we do,
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  Speaker 1: this is this is the opportunity to dive in there
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  Speaker 1: and absolutely clean up. Now what are we talking about today?
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  Speaker 3: Oh so Friday is our I'll do better podcasts?
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  Speaker 2: I'll do better tomorrow. Now.
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  Speaker 1: I want to be really clear about this podcast. We've
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  Speaker 1: kind of this this theme. Every Friday, we talk about
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  Speaker 1: how we're going to do better tomorrow. This isn't necessarily
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  Speaker 1: a confession podcast. What it really is rather than talking
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  Speaker 1: about how we won with the kids or what we
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  Speaker 1: lost because we got it all wrong and you know,
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  Speaker 1: telling everyone how good or bad we are as parents.
• 2:02
  Speaker 1: What it's really about is reflecting on what's happened over
• 2:04
  Speaker 1: the last week and what we can learn so that
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  Speaker 1: we can be better parents tomorrow or next week. That's
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  Speaker 1: the whole idea of this episode. And well, I want
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  Speaker 1: to go. I always go first, but I'm always so
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  Speaker 1: excited to share. Do you want to go first today?
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  Speaker 1: Ladies before gentlemen?
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  Speaker 3: Well, you know, I think that the experience is that
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  Speaker 3: each of us planning on sharing today actually marry up beautifully.
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  Speaker 3: So why don't you start?
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  Speaker 1: Okay, I'll go first at your insistence. So on Monday,
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  Speaker 1: I was in the office. I felt like I was
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  Speaker 1: ahead of my work. I felt like I'd cleared out
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  Speaker 1: my inbox, I'd done a whole lot of really big tasks.
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  Speaker 1: I was feeling really good. And you actually came to
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  Speaker 1: me and said what time you are knocking off today?
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  Speaker 1: And I told you it was going to be a
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  Speaker 1: slightly earlier day than normal, and you said, why don't
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  Speaker 1: you take one of the kids?
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  Speaker 2: And you mentioned which child?
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  Speaker 1: You said, why don't you take that child out for
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  Speaker 1: a daddy daughter to date this afternoon. I thought it
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  Speaker 1: was really weird of you to say that, because you
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  Speaker 1: don't usually say that a Monday afternoon, not a typical
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  Speaker 1: daddy daughter to date. And then you said, oh, by
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  Speaker 1: the way, she's been nipper of the week a couple
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  Speaker 1: of times, and here are some vouchers for a burger
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  Speaker 1: shop that the kids get a discount.
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  Speaker 2: You know, it's free burgers. Basically, Oh look.
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  Speaker 1: I'll just say it a grilled I mean, grilled burgers
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  Speaker 1: are good, not sponsored, just putting it out there.
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  Speaker 2: We like to have some grilled now and then.
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  Speaker 1: But it's a bit of a treat because they're a
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  Speaker 1: bit pricier than your average burger. And you said, here's
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  Speaker 1: a couple of vouchers that she's won for being the
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  Speaker 1: nipper of the week. Why don't you take her down
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  Speaker 1: to the Gold Coast. It's about a fifty to sixty
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  Speaker 1: minute drive, take it to Pacific Fare and have a
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  Speaker 1: daddy daughter to date with her.
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  Speaker 2: And I got in the car with her when she
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  Speaker 2: came home from school. We drove down there. We went
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  Speaker 2: for a swim for about an hour in the ocean.
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  Speaker 2: I mean it was just beautiful.
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  Speaker 1: Once it was done, we went across to grilled and
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  Speaker 1: we ate free burgers, and I bought some other bits
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  Speaker 1: and pieces because why wouldn't you? And you know what,
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  Speaker 1: it was just such a great night. And I remember
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  Speaker 1: as I drove home, thinking, this has just perfect. I
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  Speaker 1: feel like I've been an amazing dad. And then it
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  Speaker 1: occurred to me, I've only been able to be an
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  Speaker 1: amazing dad because of you. You actually set this up
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  Speaker 1: for me so that I could I could look good.
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  Speaker 1: It just made me realize, well, we can all be
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  Speaker 1: amazing from time to time. It's so much easier to
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  Speaker 1: be an amazing dad when you've got somebody supporting you
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  Speaker 1: and even actively encouraging you to be better or to
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  Speaker 1: take the time or to do these things. And so
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  Speaker 1: what that really taught me, I guess the old do
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  Speaker 1: better tomorrow. Aspect of this is if I want to
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  Speaker 1: help you to be if you want to be an
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  Speaker 1: amazing my job is to support you in that, To
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  Speaker 1: look for ways that I can help you to have
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  Speaker 1: those kinds of high quality interactions with the kids, to
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  Speaker 1: make those suggestions, to deal with a bunch of other
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  Speaker 1: children so you can go and have those moments. And
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  Speaker 1: I don't know that I've ever I mean, I'm sure
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  Speaker 1: that we've done these things before, but having the intention
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  Speaker 1: to do that is something that I think is kind
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  Speaker 1: of new, and you taught me out over this last
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  Speaker 1: week and I'm so grateful for it. That's my big moment.
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  Speaker 1: That's my aha. I can do better tomorrow because we
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  Speaker 1: get to be better when the people around us support us.
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  Speaker 1: And I got to quickly mention there are some people
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  Speaker 1: who don't have that level of support. It doesn't mean
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  Speaker 1: that it can't be done. It just means that it's
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  Speaker 1: a little bit more challenging. So I just want to
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  Speaker 1: flag that I don't want this to be a well
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  Speaker 1: you know, I'm a single parent.
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  Speaker 2: I can't do it. That's not really what I'm getting at.
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  Speaker 1: We've just got to so easy for me to say,
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  Speaker 1: but we've got to find ways that we can lean
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  Speaker 1: on other people or just make that intention to be amazing.
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  Speaker 3: So you've made me sound like I'm awesome.
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  Speaker 2: Because you are.
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  Speaker 3: But the reality is that on Monday that was actually
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  Speaker 3: a pretty tricky situation for me to find myself in.
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  Speaker 3: We had a family meeting on Sunday because the household
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  Speaker 3: was not functioning very well, and we sat down with
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  Speaker 3: the kids and we reassessed the chore chart and got
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  Speaker 3: them all on top of everything, and come Monday, the
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  Speaker 3: kids were amazing, like amazing. They woke up, they were
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  Speaker 3: out of bed, dressed and ready for school before I
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  Speaker 3: think I even walked out my bedroom door, Like they
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  Speaker 3: just nailed it on the head. And so come Monday afternoon,
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  Speaker 3: one of our children, the child that you chose to
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  Speaker 3: take out a nipper of the week, our nipper of
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  Speaker 3: the week. She's been stretching me as a mum in
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  Speaker 3: some really challenging ways lately, and I could see how
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  Speaker 3: hard she had tried on Monday to just be the
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  Speaker 3: awesome kid I know she can be. But because I
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  Speaker 3: fell stretched by her at the moment, I'm really struggling
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  Speaker 3: to connect with her in the way I know I
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  Speaker 3: should and want to. And so I knew that it
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  Speaker 3: was really important for her to know that she was
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  Speaker 3: seen and valued. I'm going to cry, but I couldn't
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  Speaker 3: give that to her in that moment because I didn't
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  Speaker 3: feel I could do it genuinely and authentically. And so
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  Speaker 3: the only way I could help her to know that
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  Speaker 3: she was loved and valued was to rely on your heart.
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  Speaker 3: That is just so authentically turned towards our children in
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  Speaker 3: some of their most challenging moments to give her what
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  Speaker 3: I couldn't in that moment, and it was a really,
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  Speaker 3: really tough space for me to find myself in, and
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  Speaker 3: I have from time to time as a mum, found
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  Speaker 3: myself there with different children for different reasons. But I
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  Speaker 3: was so grateful that you took a leap when I
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  Speaker 3: gave you the opportunity to do that because I couldn't.
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  Speaker 3: So you feel like I was able to make you
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  Speaker 3: out to be a great dad because I provided this
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  Speaker 3: opportunity for you to do something beautiful with our child.
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  Speaker 3: And I feel like you gave me the space that
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  Speaker 3: I needed to work through what I was dealing with
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  Speaker 3: and give her what I couldn't.
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  Speaker 2: And it ended up being perfect for both of us.
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  Speaker 1: Did not just that, but it ended up being the
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  Speaker 1: kind of experience that both of us, without talking to
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  Speaker 1: one another about it, decided, Oh, that's what we're going
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  Speaker 1: to talk about on Friday, because it was just one
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  Speaker 1: of those when we live with intention in our family,
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  Speaker 1: we have those moments.
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  Speaker 2: So awesome.
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  Speaker 1: Hey, let's come back in a second and talk about
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  Speaker 1: a couple of other things that are important for the podcast,
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  Speaker 1: and maybe more about Black Friday and some feedback and
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  Speaker 1: then we'll wrap things up. It's the Happy Families podcast.
• 8:50
  Speaker 4: Our Screens Creating Tension at Home, Tweens, teens and Screens
• 8:54
  Speaker 4: is a webinar to guide families to healthy, safe super
• 8:58
  Speaker 4: screen Solutions Day at happyfamilies dot com dot Au, slash shop.
• 9:04
  Speaker 1: It's the Happy Families podcast, the podcast for the time
• 9:06
  Speaker 1: poor parent who just wants answers Now. Hello, doctor Justin
• 9:08
  Speaker 1: Colson here with Kylie missus Happy Families talking about how
• 9:12
  Speaker 1: we're going to do better tomorrow and how we can
• 9:14
  Speaker 1: learn from our experiences this week as parents so that
• 9:16
  Speaker 1: we can, I.
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  Speaker 2: Don't know, do better tomorrow or do better next week.
• 9:20
  Speaker 1: Hey. As always, we love to talk about the feedback
• 9:23
  Speaker 1: that we receive through the various ways that you can
• 9:26
  Speaker 1: communicate with us, and you can send us an email
• 9:28
  Speaker 1: via podcasts and that's podcasts with an s at Happy
• 9:31
  Speaker 1: Families dot com dot Au or you can jump on
• 9:34
  Speaker 1: to Spotify or wherever you get your podcasts, preferably Apple
• 9:38
  Speaker 1: podcasts and leave a rating and review. And honeybun, we
• 9:42
  Speaker 1: just got a brand new one that's just popped through
• 9:45
  Speaker 1: from TBK.
• 9:46
  Speaker 2: Wills. I think it says, can you share this five
• 9:49
  Speaker 2: star rating.
• 9:49
  Speaker 3: And review Justin and Kylie, I find your short podcast fantastic.
• 9:54
  Speaker 3: They are a kind of daily parent meditation, encouraging me
• 9:59
  Speaker 3: each day to ref colet on how I parent and
• 10:01
  Speaker 3: how I would like to parent. I am by no
• 10:04
  Speaker 3: means perfect, and I want to be a better parent.
• 10:07
  Speaker 3: Thanks for your help. I have four kids, the eldest
• 10:09
  Speaker 3: of whom is fourteen, and I wish I had had
• 10:12
  Speaker 3: this resource back when he was very little. I hope
• 10:15
  Speaker 3: it's never too late.
• 10:16
  Speaker 1: I wish that we'd had this resource back when now
• 10:18
  Speaker 1: our eldest was little as well. We're all in the
• 10:20
  Speaker 1: same boat there. We really love getting your ratings and
• 10:22
  Speaker 1: reviews come through on Apple podcasts. It helps other people
• 10:25
  Speaker 1: to find the podcast to make their families happier. So
• 10:27
  Speaker 1: thank you so much for sending that one through it.
• 10:29
  Speaker 1: It really does mean a tremendous amount. Black Friday sale
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  Speaker 1: I mentioned it at the start of the podcast. I'm
• 10:34
  Speaker 1: going to mention it again. All of our resources huge
• 10:36
  Speaker 1: discounts today only, in fact, well I think some of
• 10:39
  Speaker 1: them are this weekend, but today only for the Happy
• 10:43
  Speaker 1: Families membership. You can get it for fifty percent off
• 10:46
  Speaker 1: today only go to Happy Families dot com DOTU or
• 10:49
  Speaker 1: shoot across to our Facebook page Doctor Justin Colson's Happy Families.
• 10:52
  Speaker 1: The Happy Families podcast is produced as always by Justin
• 10:56
  Speaker 1: Rulan from Bridge Media, and our executive producer is Craig Bruce.
• 11:00
  Speaker 1: If you'd like more information about how we can help
• 11:01
  Speaker 1: your family flourish well, the Black Friday sales are where
• 11:04
  Speaker 1: to do it Happy families dot com dot AU.
• 11:07
  Speaker 3: And just before we leave, if you're wondering what's for dinner, always, always,
• 11:12
  Speaker 3: then definitely check in with us on Monday, because we've
• 11:15
  Speaker 3: got an episode for you.
• 11:17
  Speaker 2: Have a great weekend.