Latest / Quarterback DadCast | Intentional Fatherhood & Leadership at Home / Jon Beck - A Conversation with Rugby Coach, CEO, and Dedicated Dad

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Jon Beck - A Conversation with Rugby Coach, CEO, and Dedicated Dad · Quarterback DadCast | Intentional Fatherhood & Leadership at Home

• 0:03
  Speaker 1: Hi, I'm Riley.
• 0:04
  Speaker 2: And I'm Ryder and this is my Dad's Show.
• 0:06
  Speaker 2: Hey everybody, it's KCJ Cox with the quarterback Dadcast.
• 0:13
  Speaker 2: I'm excited to announce we have a brand new sponsor joining the show, which is called LatitudeSitkacom, a Latitude 57.
• 0:20
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• 0:28
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• 0:38
  Speaker 2: So I'm going there in June.
• 0:40
  Speaker 2: I can't wait.
• 0:40
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• 1:01
  Speaker 2: If none of those sound interesting to you, well then go.
• 1:03
  Speaker 2: Stay on land and go ITVing, hiking, hot springs, yoga, take a massage in.
• 1:09
  Speaker 2: The team has over 20 years of local knowledge to serve you, and they also will be able to cook amazing meals while you are there staying in their facility.
• 1:18
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• 1:24
  Speaker 2: You won't regret it.
• 1:25
  Speaker 2: The majestic views will blow you away and, as I mentioned, I cannot wait to get there in June.
• 1:30
  Speaker 2: So with that, let's welcome LatitudeSitka to the podcast and get right to today's episode.
• 1:37
  Speaker 2: Hey everybody, it is Casey Jaycox with the quarterback DATCAST.
• 1:40
  Speaker 2: We're in season five.
• 1:40
  Speaker 2: We're recording in September Actually, take that back for season four.
• 1:44
  Speaker 2: We're almost in season five.
• 1:45
  Speaker 2: I got that excited to talk about season five, which we're already in the planning stages.
• 1:50
  Speaker 2: Our next guest is someone that I got introduced to by the fantastic Robin Barrett.
• 1:55
  Speaker 2: His name is John Beck and he is a La Jolla Viking.
• 1:58
  Speaker 2: He's a cow bear.
• 1:59
  Speaker 2: He's a rugby stud and coach.
• 2:01
  Speaker 2: He might be considered the Ted Lasso of rugby.
• 2:03
  Speaker 2: Find out if that's true or not.
• 2:05
  Speaker 2: He's the CEO and founder of Ursus, a staffing company that has been one of the fastest growing staffing companies according to SIA, and, as someone who spent years in the staffing industry, john is one of these guys I'm putting in the list of like just the one of many fantastic people I've met post leaving in 2019.
• 2:23
  Speaker 2: But, more importantly, we're having John on today to talk about John the dad and how he's working hard to become that ultimate quarterback or I'm not sure what the rugby role would be A leader of his house built.
• 2:32
  Speaker 2: So, without further ado, mr Beck, welcome to the quarterback DATCAST.
• 2:37
  Speaker 1: Hi Casey, Thanks for having me on and for the gracious introduction.
• 2:41
  Speaker 2: That's right.
• 2:41
  Speaker 2: Well, so is there such thing as a Ted Lasso of rugby, do you think?
• 2:47
  Speaker 1: None that come to mind, although it sounds like an opportunity.
• 2:50
  Speaker 1: Quite frankly, when you said that it seems like every American's out trying to get into the Premier League and in the soccer, there might be an opportunity there for rugby.
• 2:59
  Speaker 2: How about the shout out to your La Jolla Vikings?
• 3:02
  Speaker 1: Yeah, my dad just sent me an article this morning.
• 3:04
  Speaker 1: The Vikings are two and O to start the season, so take a liking to a Viking.
• 3:11
  Speaker 2: I love it.
• 3:11
  Speaker 2: I love it.
• 3:12
  Speaker 2: Well, we always start each episode with gratitude, so tell me, what are you most grateful for as a father today?
• 3:19
  Speaker 1: You know, one of my favorite sayings that I repeat constantly to friends and family is that every day is a gift, and I say it to remind myself, not just for others but really to remind myself, and that's really how I look at it.
• 3:35
  Speaker 1: You know, yesterday was kind of a somber day for me.
• 3:37
  Speaker 1: I had a couple of good friends that I lost in 9-11.
• 3:42
  Speaker 1: One I played rugby with, another one I played was a fellow Viking, and then Cal Bear with me and you know, just spending the day thinking what they would give to have an extra day to do their thing and to be with their family and to be a dad and a husband and partner and friend and father, and so that, to me, is what I'm grateful for, for sure.
• 4:08
  Speaker 2: It's that is that hits home in the heart, man, I think, when we we all remember where we were that morning of September 11th, the feeling we had of the picture in our head and sorry that you had your friends.
• 4:19
  Speaker 2: You lost friends and this entrepreneurial journey.
• 4:22
  Speaker 2: I've met some people that were were.
• 4:24
  Speaker 2: They saw me there, right there, they saw everything.
• 4:27
  Speaker 2: They just it's way too close to home.
• 4:31
  Speaker 2: When you talk to people that close who experience it that close, it's because from a distance it's just, oh it was that happened, but like when you're there, it impacts you in many, many ways.
• 4:40
  Speaker 1: So and really important as we get older, hard to believe that that's 22 years ago to carry on the message.
• 4:49
  Speaker 1: You know the never forget moniker is appropriate because I have, you know, kids, family, friends that are now graduated in the working world, who you know don't weren't, don't remember that other than what they see in the news and in the videos, and so really important to carry that on on a lot of different levels for sure.
• 5:09
  Speaker 2: So true.
• 5:10
  Speaker 2: Well, I'm grateful for we have a new puppy in the house and I'm grateful for the, the, the joy it's bringing the old Jaycox household, the sleepless nights.
• 5:22
  Speaker 2: I will say that's been a little bit struggle, but it's an.
• 5:24
  Speaker 2: It's an attitude test.
• 5:25
  Speaker 2: It is an attitude test and I can either let it beat me or I wake up to your point of every day is a gift.
• 5:32
  Speaker 2: Every day I wake up and I do gratitude work and I say you know, god, universe, whatever people believe in, thanks for waking me up today.
• 5:38
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and either people believe that it's kind of corny or cheesy.
• 5:40
  Speaker 2: That's one one.
• 5:42
  Speaker 2: To me it's.
• 5:42
  Speaker 2: I believe it in my heart, like I'm grateful for a chance to do something and I'm going to impact something positive today.
• 5:49
  Speaker 2: I don't know how or where, but I'm gonna figure out a way to do it.
• 5:51
  Speaker 2: That's right.
• 5:52
  Speaker 2: So I'm grateful for the puppy, whose name is Harley and she's freaking, hilarious dog, and we have an older dog, stella, who could give part of my French two shits about this dog right now.
• 6:03
  Speaker 2: I'm hoping they become buddies, but you know so that's interesting.
• 6:08
  Speaker 1: We can talk more about that offline.
• 6:09
  Speaker 1: We have a seven year old boxer and we're flirting with the idea of getting other dog to.
• 6:15
  Speaker 1: You know, the theory is it goes one to two ways, right.
• 6:17
  Speaker 1: The older dog, you know, has new life and energy because this younger being is around, or they get two shits and they get depressed.
• 6:25
  Speaker 1: Like, what are you doing?
• 6:26
  Speaker 1: You know, this is my house and now this little thing is disrupting my sleep and taking my food and my toys.
• 6:31
  Speaker 1: And yeah, no, I will probably, we'll probably yield and get one just because they're so much fun.
• 6:37
  Speaker 1: But I appreciate your comment on the long nights and you know we keep asking ourselves like do we really want to do that again?
• 6:42
  Speaker 2: Like, no similar conversations and we remind ourselves we made the choice, that's right Not going back.
• 6:49
  Speaker 2: So that's right, All right.
• 6:51
  Speaker 2: Well, bring me inside the huddle.
• 6:52
  Speaker 2: I want to understand and learn more about the team team back.
• 6:55
  Speaker 2: Talk about your wife, the kids, etc.
• 6:57
  Speaker 2: Let us learn a little bit more about the family.
• 6:59
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 7:00
  Speaker 1: So wife and I just celebrate our 10 year anniversary this summer.
• 7:04
  Speaker 1: We've been together for 17 years.
• 7:06
  Speaker 1: She has two kids, which are now my two kids, and I entered into their lives when they were five and eight respectively.
• 7:16
  Speaker 1: And you know talking about signing up to get a puppy, signing up to, to enter into a couple kids' lives and I distinctly remember the first couple of meetings for the first time and going to the park and you know throwing the ball around and doing stuff and just thinking, wow, there's a lot to this.
• 7:40
  Speaker 1: But boy am I glad I signed up for it, because now those two kids, who are 21 and 27 years old, are really good friends of mine and it took a lot of time to establish boundaries and where we fit into each other's lives, because their dad is still very much present, which is the way it should be, and I've always encouraged that that doesn't always work out that way.
• 8:06
  Speaker 1: But to have gone through all of those, you know, admittedly, some really, really tough times, challenging times, to figure out where it all fits, to reach a point now where there's an acceptance and an understanding and appreciation on both sides for what we all bring into each other's lives, is a pretty cool deal, and you know that comes with empty nesting.
• 8:28
  Speaker 1: You know our son's out in Stanford, connecticut, our daughter's lives in San Francisco, and so we don't see them as often as maybe we'd like, but when we do, it's a really good time.
• 8:39
  Speaker 3: So yeah, life is good.
• 8:41
  Speaker 1: It's a very cool chapter when your kids become your friends and you can have, you know, Still parent child conversations, but more as peers than anything else.
• 8:54
  Speaker 2: That's awesome.
• 8:54
  Speaker 2: I think it's so true that I think it's really because I didn't know that when we first spoke.
• 8:59
  Speaker 2: I know we talked about empty nesting, but I think when a stepdad can come in into the life and still encourage the biological dad to have a role, and you're not trying to take anything from him or her, and I think it's awesome that you did that, and I hope there's some parents at home who've listening to this that maybe you're not quite there yet but to hopefully know that John's story is could be of inspiration to you.
• 9:22
  Speaker 2: I've had friends in my you know community where I've seen it go both ways and you know, sometimes it's always like, well, how did it work out?
• 9:30
  Speaker 2: But in the end, a it's not my journey to worry about.
• 9:33
  Speaker 2: B it's their family and what it would hold.
• 9:37
  Speaker 2: Just hope for the best for them and I think it's so cool that you guys are able to figure that out and I think what great life lessons you teach the kids on relationship building and forget every.
• 9:50
  Speaker 1: Yeah, first of all, every study that you read that covers this topic says that kids benefit from having both parents in their lives.
• 10:01
  Speaker 1: When divorce happens and you know the second part of that is there has to be you have to look through at the lens of what's best for the kids.
• 10:12
  Speaker 1: And because there are plenty of times when life is messy, divorce is messy, you know, custody, all the stuff that goes with sharing households, is really hard.
• 10:22
  Speaker 1: I mean, I can remember when the kids were younger the rules in both households were different not better or worse, just different and there was like this recalibration point.
• 10:31
  Speaker 1: Every time the kids would come back to sort of reset and refresh, like how we do things.
• 10:36
  Speaker 1: And then you know the anxiety of going when they would go back was just as painful sometimes, but throughout it, if you look through the lens of what's best for the kids, you're more often than not going to make the right decision Not always easy to do and you got to check your own agenda and sometimes ego at the door, but it's the right thing to do.
• 10:57
  Speaker 2: It's gold man.
• 10:58
  Speaker 2: That is some wisdom being dropped at 924, as we record.
• 11:03
  Speaker 2: Okay, so I would like to one question I would like to understand is well, actually, franco, how did you and your wife meet?
• 11:12
  Speaker 1: We met at work and so it's a familiar tale, I guess, for many.
• 11:18
  Speaker 1: But we met and actually there was kind of some immediate sparks there and we carried on what we thought was a an undercover relationship for almost a year in the office and almost a year to the day, you know, we came out and told people we were dating and everyone's like duh.
• 11:36
  Speaker 1: Like you know, they said at one point we thought you guys broke up because you were so intentional about not being in the same place at the same time.
• 11:42
  Speaker 1: So, yeah, we met at work.
• 11:45
  Speaker 2: That's awesome, and does she still work, or she?
• 11:49
  Speaker 1: She does.
• 11:49
  Speaker 1: Okay, yeah, she works for a company called Y Combinator that does early seed investments.
• 11:55
  Speaker 1: She's a chief of staff there, does really a lot of different things.
• 12:00
  Speaker 1: Where's a lot of different hats?
• 12:01
  Speaker 1: Amazing company, y Combinator.
• 12:03
  Speaker 1: For those who don't know, it Invests in thousands of companies and many who are household names.
• 12:10
  Speaker 1: Airbnb, for example, instacart, I believe, is one of the early investments and they're really the have been for the last couple of decades, the leading incubator, not only in Silicon Valley but nationally.
• 12:23
  Speaker 1: So, yes, you've done that for a couple of years.
• 12:26
  Speaker 2: Very cool.
• 12:26
  Speaker 2: I have heard of them.
• 12:27
  Speaker 2: I have I haven't heard why company or I.
• 12:30
  Speaker 2: In my entrepreneurial journey I met a former guest in the podcast, t T McCann, who is a multiple successful well, not a great dad, but his story was fantastic.
• 12:40
  Speaker 2: He sailed on an America's Cup with Ellison.
• 12:43
  Speaker 2: He and you know he's a venture capital set a firm up here in Seattle called Pioneer Square Labs and just interesting.
• 12:52
  Speaker 2: It's really cool when you meet investors at like the next level.
• 12:56
  Speaker 2: It's kind of like you know you got people who are really good athletes in high school and in college and then pros.
• 13:01
  Speaker 2: It's kind of the same thing in business the level of intensity.
• 13:03
  Speaker 2: I think I look at the details of eye contact, follow up the questions and ask engagement Like you can just see that and he's T A Shout out to you for listening.
• 13:12
  Speaker 2: Brother, you got that Okay.
• 13:14
  Speaker 2: Tell me about what was life growing up for?
• 13:18
  Speaker 2: John and I love to earn understand how your parents impacted you now that you're a dad.
• 13:24
  Speaker 1: Well, I had to scratch my way out of the bad part of La Jolla, california.
• 13:27
  Speaker 1: For those of you familiar with La Jolla it was pretty rough but somehow I made it.
• 13:32
  Speaker 1: No, I can't, I'm kidding.
• 13:34
  Speaker 1: I was very blessed.
• 13:35
  Speaker 1: I didn't know it at the time until I moved away how fortunate I was to live in such a beautiful part of the world.
• 13:41
  Speaker 1: Some challenges with it.
• 13:44
  Speaker 1: I mean La Jolla is a very is a wealthy community, a lot of entitlement.
• 13:48
  Speaker 1: You know, both my parents were doctors, my dad a physician, my mom a psychologist.
• 13:53
  Speaker 1: My mom went back to school around the time I was eight or nine and got our undergrad and then on to get a PhD.
• 14:01
  Speaker 1: So we jokingly now you know, laugh that I was a latchkey kid, you know, going back and forth and and I had some pros and cons.
• 14:09
  Speaker 1: I had a lot of freedom and latitude and maybe gotten some trouble along the way as a result of that.
• 14:14
  Speaker 1: But it forced me to be maybe a little more independent at an earlier age.
• 14:19
  Speaker 1: I mean I had to thank myself and learn how to do my own laundry and cook my own meals sometimes and do chores and that sort of thing.
• 14:26
  Speaker 1: So it was all good.
• 14:27
  Speaker 1: But I think above and beyond all else.
• 14:29
  Speaker 1: You know my parents.
• 14:30
  Speaker 1: You know my parents.
• 14:31
  Speaker 1: I knew that they loved me and cared about me and were invested in me and and so you know they say to me what I say down to my kids they did the best they could with the information that they had and the time that they had, and would they want to do some things differently, of course, but all in all, I, you know, I look back at my childhood and growing up as a really awesome time and and with a lot of opportunity presented to me to do things and to stretch.
• 14:59
  Speaker 1: So, yeah, it was all good.
• 15:02
  Speaker 1: You know, I sure could I give you some complaints, yeah, but I mean I that's, you know, pull out the tiny violin.
• 15:08
  Speaker 1: It was all good.
• 15:11
  Speaker 2: Any brothers or sisters?
• 15:13
  Speaker 1: I have an older sister, yeah, who lives about 30 minutes from me, a couple years older, and she is.
• 15:20
  Speaker 1: She and I are very close but very different and I can't really explain how we're different.
• 15:24
  Speaker 1: We just are in a good way.
• 15:26
  Speaker 1: And you know, we're probably closer now that we were growing up just because we were so different.
• 15:30
  Speaker 1: She was kind of a nerdy math type.
• 15:32
  Speaker 1: I was more of the athlete's bonehead kind of guy growing up.
• 15:37
  Speaker 1: But yeah, we're pretty close.
• 15:40
  Speaker 2: Very cool Now, our mom and dad still with us.
• 15:43
  Speaker 1: They are Yep Same house Down in La Jolla doing great and kicking along down there next week.
• 15:50
  Speaker 1: I actually do see it Awesome.
• 15:53
  Speaker 2: I always ask that question because I was.
• 15:54
  Speaker 2: I lost my pops in December 29th 2021.
• 15:58
  Speaker 2: And long journey I mean it's been well documented on this podcast, but so grateful for the ups and downs that we had and my mom still with us.
• 16:08
  Speaker 2: But so I always say people, if you got two parents home, just enjoy the time you get.
• 16:12
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 16:13
  Speaker 2: Because you never know.
• 16:17
  Speaker 1: I look, it's the, the roles change.
• 16:20
  Speaker 1: You spend time taking care of them.
• 16:23
  Speaker 1: Now the best way that I've heard it presented to me is it's, it's a privilege, it's and it's an opportunity to not pay it back but to you know, to be able to take care of them the way that they took care of you.
• 16:39
  Speaker 1: And, and you're absolutely right, I, you know, we all get busy with our day to day and our families and that sort of thing, and I have friends of mine, like shelf, who've lost parent and they would do anything to get a phone call, for whatever reason, from a mom or dad doesn't have.
• 16:58
  Speaker 1: So every time that that happens even though sometimes I know there's a problem at the end of that call, I'm grateful for it for sure.
• 17:05
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it's interesting you said because it's like my, this is Uncle Rico moment when I played football in college.
• 17:12
  Speaker 2: My coach shout out, john Zamblin.
• 17:14
  Speaker 2: He always used to say, men, the one thing they'll never can take from you as your memories, and which is so true.
• 17:20
  Speaker 2: And as I think about, like my, my kids.
• 17:23
  Speaker 2: I have a senior in high school which blows me away.
• 17:25
  Speaker 2: I have a sophomore in high school and she's like like just as growth and maturity, and we're going through driver's ed for her.
• 17:30
  Speaker 2: I'm like how is my little girl driving a car and they am not wearing a cup or a helmet and feeling safe?
• 17:37
  Speaker 2: But like when I would watch sports, sometimes I'd have these like moments where it slows me down.
• 17:43
  Speaker 2: I'm like I bet your grandpa might be so proud right now, or he's in love, or walking the golf course watching Ryder, my son, and like sometimes all say a little prayer I'm like dad, if you're up there, just please, please, find a fair way here.
• 17:54
  Speaker 2: Just please make this putt go in.
• 17:56
  Speaker 2: So it's kind of fun.
• 17:57
  Speaker 2: I feel like I still am connected to him in that way, which is very, very surreal to go through.
• 18:04
  Speaker 2: But we all will.
• 18:07
  Speaker 2: Yep, that's right.
• 18:08
  Speaker 2: Okay, so both parents doctors?
• 18:12
  Speaker 2: Were they gone at the same time, were they were?
• 18:14
  Speaker 2: Was it doctors like working different shifts, like night stuff, er type stuff, or I mean it's kind of a mismatch.
• 18:23
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it was a mismatch.
• 18:24
  Speaker 1: I mean, again, I had, you know, a lot of free time, but I took advantage of it.
• 18:28
  Speaker 1: I had a lot of fun and you know, I again not to get into the weeds, but there were some times when I was heading down the right path, hanging with the wrong people.
• 18:38
  Speaker 1: Sports ultimately brought me back to it.
• 18:40
  Speaker 1: I, you know, I was a sports, I was hooked on sports.
• 18:44
  Speaker 1: You know, from the time, I can remember and and I wanted to play high school sports and college sports and and that structure and team and those coaches.
• 18:54
  Speaker 1: I'm forever grateful for it because they kept me on the straight and narrow and I that's true for a lot of kids.
• 19:01
  Speaker 1: So, you know, I, I, I sunk a lot of time into training and and and trying to do things that I wanted to do.
• 19:09
  Speaker 1: It's kept me out of trouble, for sure.
• 19:11
  Speaker 2: Nice, tell me the some of the core, like, if you just say two or three values that were most important to mom and dad, that they taught you, that now you've passed on to to your, your stepchildren, what, what comes to mind.
• 19:23
  Speaker 2: And then, if there, if there's a story or two that kind of further cemented those values, I'd love to hear it.
• 19:27
  Speaker 1: I think both of them, by example, taught me about work ethic and about putting your head down and doing the work and letting the work speak for itself.
• 19:41
  Speaker 1: My dad still to this day references his dad, who spent 40 years at the same job at the same time Not general lector, the other one big one in in Detroit, it'll come to me, ford.
• 19:58
  Speaker 2: GM.
• 19:59
  Speaker 1: No, it'll come to me.
• 20:01
  Speaker 1: But he always said you know, if you're doing good work, you'll be noticed.
• 20:08
  Speaker 1: You don't have to brag about it, talk about it, let the work speak for itself.
• 20:13
  Speaker 1: But that came with a lot of it comes with a lot of pressure.
• 20:18
  Speaker 1: It's a double edged sword.
• 20:19
  Speaker 1: I mean my dad especially, who was, you know, I don't think ever got to be in his life University of Michigan undergrad, then goes on to medical school and goes and teaches at Harvard, you know, and a minus shows up on stoke, is like yeah, good, why don't you get the A and and that?
• 20:38
  Speaker 1: That's sort of.
• 20:39
  Speaker 1: Again, that's not a bad thing.
• 20:41
  Speaker 1: But it is a double edged sword because to this day I set very high standards for myself and and sometimes it's very painful I can't just sit back and say, yeah, good job, and leave it at that.
• 20:52
  Speaker 1: It's always what's next or what could work that I've done, or how could I've done it better, and so it drives me and it keeps me motivated, but it comes with some angst and suffering for sure.
• 21:01
  Speaker 1: So, but I'll take it Because I again that work ethic has served me well and I try to impart it the way that I manage or coach about putting in the work.
• 21:13
  Speaker 1: If you're, I mean you know half the battle is that you know plenty of people that are out there with tons of potential that didn't do anything with it, and you know my job now as a manager, as a coach, is to get the most out of people.
• 21:25
  Speaker 1: My parents definitely did it for me too.
• 21:27
  Speaker 2: But besides work ethic, tell me what else comes to mind.
• 21:30
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I think you know integrity and doing the right thing Always.
• 21:35
  Speaker 1: I can remember my, my dad, sharing examples of things that he could have done, or nothing out of bounds, but jobs that he could have taken that weren't true to his values and the way to treat people.
• 21:50
  Speaker 1: And you know, I mean he could have taken jobs that paid him more money, but it would have been at a price for what he truly believed in and liked to do.
• 21:57
  Speaker 1: You know, he chose his, his specialty, which was nephrology, internal medicine.
• 22:03
  Speaker 1: You know he could very easily could be a surgeon or anesthesiologist, made plenty more money, but he liked having that patient interaction and that human interaction.
• 22:11
  Speaker 1: And my mom, you know, was a nurse growing up and then decided to go back and get a degree in psychology and, you know, as a therapist, and so I might, if you know, I think both of them in very different ways instilled in me.
• 22:27
  Speaker 1: What I believe my secret power is is just understanding and appreciating people and seeing the different frequencies that exist amongst the different people and groups and teams.
• 22:36
  Speaker 1: And that's not something that was taught or explained to me, it just kind of happened by example and probably some of it is within my at the cellular level, even when I believe that.
• 22:46
  Speaker 1: So I think that just having that compass and understanding and awareness and I don't know if you can call it a value or not, casey, but it's sort of it sets the tone for everything that I do.
• 22:58
  Speaker 2: No, I think it is.
• 22:58
  Speaker 2: I mean, as you said, that you're making me think of a couple different things.
• 23:01
  Speaker 2: One I want to give shout out and rest in peace Dr Bob Thompson.
• 23:06
  Speaker 2: He was my wife's family doctor.
• 23:08
  Speaker 2: My kids, my hit, my in laws and I got I feel like I was like a plan B for agent picked up when he was taken.
• 23:14
  Speaker 2: We unfortunately he passed away.
• 23:17
  Speaker 2: Right A couple months into COVID had a cardiac event in a pool and we're like just shocked everybody.
• 23:24
  Speaker 2: But he he was the doctor that talking about set an example for only me as a dad, but my kids saw it like he was.
• 23:31
  Speaker 2: You said patient interaction.
• 23:33
  Speaker 2: That was him.
• 23:34
  Speaker 2: If we were late, if you hadn't a two o'clock appointment, you knew you're not getting into, probably 230 or 240.
• 23:40
  Speaker 2: And you, but it was okay because you knew that someone else was going to get this amazing treatment and I don't.
• 23:46
  Speaker 2: He obviously was way up the chain there at where he was, but I think sometimes he said insurance companies f off, I'm gonna.
• 23:54
  Speaker 2: I'm not going to follow your rules, I am.
• 23:55
  Speaker 2: I'm going to follow him, but I'm going to treat people the way we should be treated.
• 23:58
  Speaker 2: And I love when you said that you know, maybe, maybe think that story with with Dr Bob and yeah, I remember my dad, you know, walking.
• 24:09
  Speaker 1: I'd go see him at work from time to time and he would walk through the hospital and he was like the chief of staff at that point, right.
• 24:14
  Speaker 1: So he was, he was a mucky muck and he'd say hi to the janitor and people change the bed sheets and he knew their name and you know it's the old saying.
• 24:23
  Speaker 1: But he said to me goes, you know, treat everyone same, whether it's the janitor or the CEO.
• 24:26
  Speaker 1: And you know, I still believe I can't stand when I see people, you know, being rude to a waiter, waitress, or you know somebody who's providing a service or whatnot, like I just it says it tells me everything about their character and I just I vividly remember that with my dad.
• 24:45
  Speaker 1: Yeah, pretty cool.
• 24:49
  Speaker 2: But what a great lesson that you probably learned as an athlete, as a member of Cal Rugby team, as a leader of a company, from your previous roles as leading teams.
• 24:58
  Speaker 2: But I would like to be willing to bet that that's still top of mind every day when you work with your team, work with your customers.
• 25:10
  Speaker 1: In terms of how to interact.
• 25:12
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 25:14
  Speaker 1: Yeah, that is inherently what being part of a team is about.
• 25:19
  Speaker 1: I think some of that is at risk in some of our day to day that we look at now, but I think people inherently want to be part of something bigger than themselves.
• 25:30
  Speaker 1: The coolest thing about sports is you have an opportunity to have a very well-defined goal that everyone should have the same goal in mind and work together towards, and you're going to be coming from different backgrounds and levels of skill.
• 25:45
  Speaker 1: It's a mishmash that comes together, and that's what makes sports so magical is that you get all these disparate personalities and backgrounds that have the common goal of work together and you're doing it in a greater group.
• 25:59
  Speaker 1: Harder to replicate that in a work environment, for sure, because people have bills to pay and mortgages and their own career aspirations, but I still believe that people yearn for that and that's the kind of culture that I've tried to create at Earth.
• 26:15
  Speaker 1: This is an environment where you're part of something bigger, that you're valued for your contributions and that you're with a group of people that will help you get better at what you do for the greater good of the whole.
• 26:27
  Speaker 2: Love it.
• 26:28
  Speaker 2: It's awesome, okay, I, as we think about parents at home who have been they just took on stepchildren or they're thinking about doing it.
• 26:41
  Speaker 2: One question that comes to mind for me is how did you go about earning their trust and building relationships that other parents at home might be able to take from you now that you've on the other end of it?
• 26:56
  Speaker 1: First of all, it doesn't happen overnight.
• 26:58
  Speaker 1: It's a process and a constant practice.
• 27:00
  Speaker 1: Kids, as they grow up, challenge boundaries, especially when they get into their teen years and start to stretch and see what they can get away with.
• 27:11
  Speaker 1: And the hormones are kicking in and they're emotional.
• 27:14
  Speaker 1: I think a couple of things that worked really well were one the kids knew that they had a voice.
• 27:22
  Speaker 1: So if they were not in agreement with the way that something was happening in the house or something that either one of us did that, they could express themselves.
• 27:33
  Speaker 1: We may not always agree with it, but they could express themselves and we would talk through it and explain why, or change it in some cases, if they were right and they had a case.
• 27:42
  Speaker 1: The other one is just the follow through.
• 27:44
  Speaker 1: If you're going to do something and commit to something, then you got to do it.
• 27:49
  Speaker 1: If you're going to be somewhere, be there, whatever it is.
• 27:55
  Speaker 1: That follow through is really important.
• 27:56
  Speaker 1: It's hard sometimes and I can recall a couple of times when I didn't do that and I man do.
• 28:02
  Speaker 1: I regret it because there was something else that was take a priority or was busier, or work whatever, and I can't remember what that was.
• 28:09
  Speaker 1: So I think just doing what you say you're going to do, giving them a voice, and over time that builds trust.
• 28:21
  Speaker 1: But it is a process, it's constant.
• 28:25
  Speaker 2: Can you think of a time I love that you appreciate your vulnerability and sharing that there was times where you weren't your best.
• 28:31
  Speaker 2: But can you think of a time where you were your best and you committed to something and you had to like, maybe check something to work or check something with your buddies.
• 28:41
  Speaker 2: You say, nope, sorry, guys, I got to go?
• 28:43
  Speaker 1: There's not one, I'm trying to think.
• 28:46
  Speaker 1: I can't think of one particular moment, but I can remember there were family events or something after school that was like an international dress-up day and it was like a 2 30 at the end of school and I had to punch out of work to go to that.
• 29:01
  Speaker 1: And even if the other part of that, I guess, is even if the kids and my wife reminded me of this all the time because I struggled with it even if the kids didn't appreciate or show the appreciation for you being there, it's registering with them.
• 29:17
  Speaker 1: You may not get the big hug and say, oh, my gosh, thanks for coming, this is so awesome.
• 29:20
  Speaker 1: You may just get a hey, what's up?
• 29:21
  Speaker 1: What's up, john, I'm not sure, but every time that you're showing up, it just it registers and it counts.
• 29:28
  Speaker 1: And again, that was really hard for me, especially not having my own kids, because and I still to this day, I, you know, I tell my friends because I'm friends with a lot of their kids and I feel like they're my own as well too.
• 29:41
  Speaker 1: And I would sit at, you know, sporting events and feel this tug because after the game they're going to go run to their dad and give him a big hug and as they should, and you know I may get just a fist bump or something like that and it's.
• 29:58
  Speaker 1: You know it's there and it's cool, but it's different and over time though, I think you know they remember and it registers and there's appreciation and I got a lot back from it as well too, but it's hard, it's super hard.
• 30:14
  Speaker 2: I can't.
• 30:15
  Speaker 2: I, as you're saying that, I try to put myself in that in that moment and you said it in the beginning of the show this episode is like checking the ego would be so powerful because, like it's easy, it's not about me, right, it's not about me, but it's easy to fall into that trap.
• 30:31
  Speaker 2: Yeah, why didn't they give me a hug?
• 30:32
  Speaker 2: I was here like I want to, I want to feel the celebration, but like, if you're forcing it, then they're going to resist.
• 30:38
  Speaker 2: Just like in business, if you try to convince someone to buy some, they're going to resist you.
• 30:40
  Speaker 2: You have to make it their idea and sooner or later, in that moment, I bet, when it finally clicked and you finally like, got it, got that, what's recognition, appreciation or love, whatever, you got back.
• 30:50
  Speaker 2: But that was an amazing feeling.
• 30:53
  Speaker 1: For sure, yeah, and again, it's like the dividends are now paying off, as their friends of mine and and they remember, right, you know they reflect and they, you know you start to count up and you look back at the photos and we're all there.
• 31:10
  Speaker 1: We're all there, we're all there, right?
• 31:11
  Speaker 1: It's like, uh yeah, it's a process, for sure.
• 31:16
  Speaker 1: It takes a lot of patience.
• 31:17
  Speaker 1: It's hard, though I mean, it's one of the hardest things I've ever done, for sure.
• 31:20
  Speaker 2: When did it tell me?
• 31:21
  Speaker 2: When did it?
• 31:21
  Speaker 2: You feel like you kind of like got into a little bit more I hate to say cruise control, but like when it got a little bit easier, like oh my God, it wasn't so like stressful or you had to be on, or do you feel like it's still still there to this day?
• 31:35
  Speaker 1: It really took after college, after college, and I think the reason for that is they.
• 31:42
  Speaker 1: You know, when you graduate from college you start to have a little more awareness of the world.
• 31:46
  Speaker 1: You got to go work and earn a living and you know through college and definitely after college is when it's kicked in, which is pretty recent yeah.
• 32:00
  Speaker 2: Yeah, do you think it was mainly like hey, wait a minute, my stepdad's actually pretty cool, he's actually kicking butt and he he's like oh, I'm the company.
• 32:07
  Speaker 1: Yeah, maybe I don't know, or that you know I'm I'm fairly chill, like I'm supportive right and I'm engaged, I'm genuinely interested.
• 32:17
  Speaker 1: I get excited for the kids, you know I again, I just think there's a level of maturity before you recognize that.
• 32:25
  Speaker 2: So Well, when do you think they understood what you did for a living?
• 32:30
  Speaker 1: That too is probably pretty recent.
• 32:32
  Speaker 1: My, my daughter knew for sure.
• 32:37
  Speaker 1: I mean, she's a little bit older now.
• 32:38
  Speaker 1: She actually does our social media, for so she definitely knows.
• 32:40
  Speaker 1: Oh sweet, because there's times and which is which was a slippery slope to.
• 32:44
  Speaker 1: I'm like All right, if we're going to do this, like you know, we're going to separate parent versus boss, and so when I reach out to her, we're text, I go, you know, hello, social media coordinator, and preface it with that, and then it's about work, like how are we doing on this deadline?
• 32:57
  Speaker 1: So she definitely knows she's an HR and he has an appreciation of it as well too.
• 33:03
  Speaker 1: You know, maybe not as much as she does, because he does broadcast journalism and is different, but yeah, I think they, I think they overall.
• 33:11
  Speaker 2: know, that's awesome.
• 33:12
  Speaker 2: I had the reason.
• 33:13
  Speaker 2: I asked that because when my kids were young I couldn't tell them that like well, so daddy would do for a job like Billy's he's dad's a fireman and Johnny's dad's a cop and Susie's dad's a doctor.
• 33:25
  Speaker 2: I'm like, well, dad provides staff augmentation, services and project based work and the product life.
• 33:30
  Speaker 2: What the hell does that mean?
• 33:32
  Speaker 2: So I just literally said and actually a joke, I wrote about this in the very first part about my book, which self plug there, sorry everybody about winning people and I said daddy makes friends for a living.
• 33:43
  Speaker 2: That's his job.
• 33:43
  Speaker 2: And when friends need help I go help them.
• 33:46
  Speaker 2: And then sometimes they they give me money to help them.
• 33:49
  Speaker 2: And then sometimes a friend asked me to help them, even though I think I would want their money, I say no because I'm not the right friend and I have to find them a different friend to help them.
• 33:56
  Speaker 2: And so, like that just stuck with them.
• 34:00
  Speaker 2: They still remember it to this day.
• 34:01
  Speaker 2: And but my buddies used to give me a hard time like, dude, you can't tell your kids they're going to get paid, have friends, they're going to recess and ask for 20s at recess.
• 34:08
  Speaker 2: I'm like no, they're not dumbass.
• 34:10
  Speaker 2: So we had this like boy guy, banter, back and forth.
• 34:13
  Speaker 2: But I think it was like the most simplistic way of just treating because I love I would have loved to work for your dad and probably you as well just the way how you guys talk about it, because it's no matter if you're the number one person in company or the last person.
• 34:27
  Speaker 2: In the end, being nice is never going to go out of style.
• 34:30
  Speaker 2: It's never going to get replaced by chat, gpt, ai.
• 34:32
  Speaker 2: To me it's just like it's always going to be cool.
• 34:35
  Speaker 1: It's also easier to.
• 34:36
  Speaker 1: It's much easier to be nice than to be a jerk.
• 34:38
  Speaker 1: It takes energy to be a jerk.
• 34:40
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and yeah, one of my former guests got him Jweb.
• 34:44
  Speaker 2: He said he he learned this thing says happy people help and hurt people hurt.
• 34:49
  Speaker 3: Hi, I'm Leslie Vickery, the CEO and founder of ClearEdge, a company dedicated to transforming the business of talent.
• 34:57
  Speaker 3: There are three lines of business ClearEdge marketing, recruiting and rising that help organizations across the recruitment and HR tech sectors grow their brands and market share while building their teams with excellence and equity.
• 35:12
  Speaker 3: I believe we were one of Casey's very first clients.
• 35:15
  Speaker 3: He helped our sales and account teams really those people on the front lines of building and developing client relationships in so many ways.
• 35:23
  Speaker 3: Here are a few.
• 35:24
  Speaker 3: He helped us unlock the power of curiosity.
• 35:27
  Speaker 3: For me it was a game changer.
• 35:29
  Speaker 3: I was personally learning all about Ted based that's, tell, explain, describe, questioning and that really resonated with me.
• 35:37
  Speaker 3: We also learned about unlocking the power of humility and unlocking the power of vulnerability.
• 35:43
  Speaker 3: Casey taught us to be a team player, to embrace change, to stay positive.
• 35:49
  Speaker 3: He is one of the most positive people I know.
• 35:52
  Speaker 3: He believes that optimism, resilience and a sense of humor can go a long way in helping people achieve their goals and overcome obstacles, and I agree Casey's book when the Relationship, not the Deal it is a must read.
• 36:08
  Speaker 3: Listen.
• 36:08
  Speaker 3: Whether you're looking for coaching and training or a powerful speaker or keynote, casey is one of the people I recommend, when talking to companies, the end result for us, at least as one of Casey's clients our own clients would literally commend our approach over all other companies, from the way we were prepared in advance of a call, to how we drove meetings, to how we follow up.
• 36:33
  Speaker 3: It sounds really basic, I know, but let me tell you it is a standout approach that led to stronger relationships.
• 36:41
  Speaker 3: I encourage you to learn more by going to CaseyJCocscom.
• 36:45
  Speaker 3: You have nothing to lose by having a conversation and a lot to gain.
• 36:49
  Speaker 3: Now let's get back to Casey's podcast, the quarterback dadcast.
• 36:55
  Speaker 2: So if you're happy, you always want to help people.
• 36:56
  Speaker 2: If you're hurt, you take it out on other people without knowing you're doing it, or maybe you do and you just got some character challenges.
• 37:01
  Speaker 1: But yeah, Well, I also think that there's sometimes people confuse being nice and happy for being soft, and that is absolutely not the case.
• 37:12
  Speaker 1: One of my heroes from a coaching and just an as a Steve Kerr and I think you and I talked about it the first time we met I mean Steve Kerr talks about playing basketball with joy.
• 37:23
  Speaker 1: How many coaches NBA coaches cutthroat most competitively you know out there talk that way?
• 37:30
  Speaker 1: Yeah, doesn't mean that you can't go hard and demand a lot of yourselves and each other and disagree, and sometimes you know shout and holler and criticize, but you can do it in a way that is constructive and positive and joyful, and so it's there's.
• 37:47
  Speaker 1: That's an important point as well, too, because my dad was tough, tough, super nice guy tough.
• 37:54
  Speaker 2: What do you think his toughness came from?
• 37:57
  Speaker 1: Oh, his dad I mean, you know German, swedish background, stoic, you know, just grind.
• 38:06
  Speaker 1: Yeah, my grandfather was was very stern, demanding.
• 38:12
  Speaker 1: My dad softened over the years and that's continued to, but that's definitely where it came from, 100%.
• 38:20
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it's interesting how you know.
• 38:21
  Speaker 2: Dads like my dad was born in 42.
• 38:25
  Speaker 2: And that generation that I hate to stereotype, but I'll just for what my experience in life so far has been, you know, weren't the best at vulnerability, weren't the best at a lot of affection.
• 38:34
  Speaker 2: I love you and I think, like generations have gotten more like, I believe, vulnerabilities a huge strength.
• 38:40
  Speaker 2: I teach vulnerability and the power of saying I don't know, a power asking for help.
• 38:45
  Speaker 2: You know, one of my mentors got him.
• 38:47
  Speaker 2: John Kaplan said you know it's okay not to know, it's not, it's okay not to know every answer, it's just not okay not to do anything about it.
• 38:53
  Speaker 2: And the power of asking help as a dad, as a sales leader, as a seller.
• 39:00
  Speaker 2: You know what a gift Go get.
• 39:02
  Speaker 2: You're asking someone else to make them feel better about themselves so they can teach you something.
• 39:06
  Speaker 2: Yeah, you know, and but it doesn't.
• 39:08
  Speaker 2: I don't know if, if you felt that same way with your pops growing up, if it was the kind of like stern or affectionate or or it got.
• 39:18
  Speaker 1: It was he, was he softened over the years, both just in his interaction, I think, with family, friends and with himself.
• 39:27
  Speaker 1: Frankly and you know, you're married to a psychologist for 50 something years eventually she's going to wear it out.
• 39:34
  Speaker 1: So that would be my mom is like my mom is like as intuitive a person like I mean she literally is.
• 39:43
  Speaker 1: She's like a mind reader sometimes and I think it just wore off on him over time, so yeah.
• 39:51
  Speaker 2: Now I have a question.
• 39:51
  Speaker 2: So, as you think about your mom's role as a psychologist, having the mental skills training, does tell me how, how that maybe osmosis or things she taught you has helped you as maybe a business leader and as a father?
• 40:06
  Speaker 1: The biggest thing my mom taught me was self acceptance and really kind of counter to maybe to my, to my dad parented me and just being okay with who I was, how I was doing, and that my best effort was good enough, which I still to this day don't necessarily believe the words out loud, but she definitely that was her big role.
• 40:30
  Speaker 1: And then I think again, whether it was through watching her or just at the DNA cellular level, my favorite thing in the world to do is just to interact with people and to watch people.
• 40:43
  Speaker 1: And I can sing in the airport or anywhere just watching.
• 40:47
  Speaker 1: I just think you know we're fascinating.
• 40:49
  Speaker 1: You know better than going to the zoo and and meeting people and kind of understanding what makes them unique and different.
• 40:57
  Speaker 1: And you know I use the word frequency or vibration because I think we all operate and are on different spectrums in that regard my mom has that for sure.
• 41:07
  Speaker 1: I mean she can break down and understand dynamics of relationships better than anyone that I've ever met in my life.
• 41:13
  Speaker 1: And I think I was lucky enough to get some of those superpowers.
• 41:18
  Speaker 1: And it really is because it gives you again that understanding and compassion for people to help them, motivate them, guide them, manage them, whatever it is, and and that's what being a good manager, good coach, is really about, at its core, I earlier I wrote down the word grace and circled it and then when you said self acceptance, I circled that and I made a line.
• 41:43
  Speaker 2: I connected to him.
• 41:44
  Speaker 2: So when you talked about you know being so as your dad's being tough and even you saying sometimes you still maybe maybe struggle with self acceptance I don't know if it was Tom Brady or Joe Montana, so I'll give them both credit, but they said their dad asked them do you want to be the best or do you want to be your best?
• 42:02
  Speaker 2: And the competitor will say I want to be the best.
• 42:06
  Speaker 2: And the dad said you don't have control over that.
• 42:08
  Speaker 2: All you.
• 42:10
  Speaker 2: You have control for your best.
• 42:11
  Speaker 2: And I think once you, once you know that, like I think about it, in the sport of golf, like my son's, I'd say, above average high school golfer not some of these kids are like crazy next level.
• 42:21
  Speaker 2: That's not him and I said we're not.
• 42:23
  Speaker 2: You can't compare yourself to them.
• 42:25
  Speaker 2: You compare yourself to it's, you versus the golf course, and golf is a brutal game.
• 42:30
  Speaker 2: It's hard.
• 42:31
  Speaker 2: It'll kick you in the you know what, as hard as you want, with still toe boots on when you don't see it coming.
• 42:36
  Speaker 2: But if you look yourself in the mirror and know that I was my best.
• 42:39
  Speaker 2: That's all you got.
• 42:40
  Speaker 2: And I just I just recently met Fantastic gentleman, but by the name of Bill Meyer.
• 42:46
  Speaker 2: He's a performance coach.
• 42:47
  Speaker 2: Tons of wisdom, I'm guessing he's north of 65.
• 42:53
  Speaker 2: I love meeting older people, have tons of wisdom I can learn from, and he has this phrase.
• 42:59
  Speaker 2: It says even though Dot dot, dot, which I love, it's like hey, even though I missed my number this quarter, here the four positives I had.
• 43:09
  Speaker 2: Even though I missed this event my kid I still able to do blah, blah, blah, blah, and it's just a simple way to get perspective and grace and like not beat yourself up as a dad or a business leader.
• 43:21
  Speaker 2: And so shout out to Bill.
• 43:24
  Speaker 2: Meyer thanks for teaching me that.
• 43:25
  Speaker 1: It's so hard though it's, it's.
• 43:27
  Speaker 1: It's like this paradox because If you don't feel at least for me, if I don't feel like I'm being vigilant is the word that I like to use and just on point, and protecting and striving, and if I take that, if I just sit back up, that's good enough.
• 43:45
  Speaker 1: I might lose my edge.
• 43:47
  Speaker 1: If I'm accepted, this is good enough.
• 43:49
  Speaker 1: Right, go to the gym.
• 43:52
  Speaker 1: I did nine reps, not 10.
• 43:54
  Speaker 1: Get enough good for a Saturday.
• 43:56
  Speaker 1: Why didn't you do the 10th?
• 43:57
  Speaker 1: And whether that motivation comes from, I love the.
• 44:02
  Speaker 1: Your best or the best is the best doing the 10th rep or is your best doing the 10th rep?
• 44:08
  Speaker 1: And I think, if it's your best, doing the 10th rep and pushing yourself and get the most out of yourself, that's probably a healthier path than the best.
• 44:15
  Speaker 1: But that's hard, especially in this day and age with social media where everybody appears to be the best.
• 44:22
  Speaker 2: Well, you know, but I'm glad you said that because, like I, I'm psychotically competitive, psychotically competitive and but I think the biggest thing is I had to learn.
• 44:32
  Speaker 2: I have to work hard on this in my job.
• 44:33
  Speaker 2: It's specifically as an entrepreneur, where social media says speakers, coaches, they're out there on these stages, are doing these great things, I can give two shits.
• 44:40
  Speaker 2: I really can, and I have to tell myself it's not about them.
• 44:42
  Speaker 2: Maybe on a Wednesday night I don't want to be in a hotel in Wichita.
• 44:47
  Speaker 2: I'm with my kids.
• 44:47
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm dicking around the backyard playing bags of my daughter, you know.
• 44:53
  Speaker 2: And to me, I think, when we get in compare mode, like social media, for me is like I share a podcast episode on social media and I hope I inspire dad or mom or somebody and that's all the goal.
• 45:03
  Speaker 2: I don't make money doing this, it's a free service, but it's fun.
• 45:08
  Speaker 2: I get more joy out of this because I get curiosity, I meet some fantastic people.
• 45:11
  Speaker 2: I don't know why, where I'm going to do it, I don't know how long I'm going to do it, but I think, like I think that would think I would say with to your point you made is I can't compare, right.
• 45:19
  Speaker 2: He's like and I just tell myself I'm being the best I can be, I want to be, I want to be the best, right, I think I.
• 45:26
  Speaker 2: That's what I did at K-Force.
• 45:27
  Speaker 2: I was number one guy for years but I was like I and I had to have that edge.
• 45:31
  Speaker 2: I had because if I once I got complacent, it'll take it from you.
• 45:35
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yep.
• 45:37
  Speaker 2: You know.
• 45:38
  Speaker 2: So anyway, you jacked me over that.
• 45:40
  Speaker 2: I love that.
• 45:40
  Speaker 2: Ok.
• 45:41
  Speaker 2: How?
• 45:42
  Speaker 2: One more dad question.
• 45:45
  Speaker 2: If you had to think about an area your dad game that you know is not quite where you want it to be, or where you've made some mistakes that might resonate with our dads at home, but you're still going to work hard to become an ultimate quarterback or leader your home?
• 45:55
  Speaker 2: Tell me what comes to mind.
• 45:57
  Speaker 1: I think it's more of what I talked about earlier is just from.
• 46:04
  Speaker 1: It's the practice that it's not about you and it's about them and it's an and except I mean going back to what we just mentioned about acceptance of where they are and what they're doing, and I don't think I do that that often.
• 46:17
  Speaker 1: But there's times when you know I'll say, yeah, but you could be doing this or how about that?
• 46:23
  Speaker 1: And trying to just look through it at a lens of positivity, encouragement, so they can be their best Not not about my best, not about what.
• 46:33
  Speaker 1: I think that's cool, but they both have great work ethics too.
• 46:38
  Speaker 1: They're very hard workers.
• 46:40
  Speaker 1: I think that's what I think that's what it's about.
• 46:45
  Speaker 2: That's cool.
• 46:45
  Speaker 2: My gap right now, and this was last night.
• 46:48
  Speaker 2: The Seattle Mariners drive me nuts.
• 46:51
  Speaker 2: My son's a die hard man, die hard man friend, to a point of almost unhealthy like every loss is like, and last night we were playing the Angels, were right in the playoff.
• 47:00
  Speaker 2: We got 18 games left as we record.
• 47:02
  Speaker 2: On September 12th the whole point of this episode comes out will be in a much better spot, please, baseball gods.
• 47:08
  Speaker 2: But I mean is you could not have?
• 47:11
  Speaker 2: And my son is losing his mind and I finally had to get on my bro.
• 47:15
  Speaker 2: I don't.
• 47:17
  Speaker 2: It's not fun to watch the games.
• 47:18
  Speaker 2: You're that negative, like when you're predicting they're going to lose the ninth and what's hard as it could be.
• 47:23
  Speaker 2: I was that guy.
• 47:24
  Speaker 2: I was that a whole kid.
• 47:26
  Speaker 2: I lost my mind and my wife had to remind me of it.
• 47:29
  Speaker 2: I was like I know, but I'm more mature now and I can see it, so I have to give him grace.
• 47:33
  Speaker 2: So this balance and I said listen, and we are going to the Dodger Mariners Friday night.
• 47:38
  Speaker 2: I said listen, if you act like, if you continue to act like this and make it not fun, like losing your mind, borderline swearing at times, I'm not taking it.
• 47:44
  Speaker 2: You think I'm joking.
• 47:45
  Speaker 2: I will literally take your ticket, give it to a buddy.
• 47:47
  Speaker 2: He was like whoa, I don't, I want to go.
• 47:49
  Speaker 2: So it's like that.
• 47:50
  Speaker 2: I think that's my gap.
• 47:51
  Speaker 2: I got to have a little bit more patience and grace for him, knowing that I was that dipshit when I was a kid, and that's where they are Exactly.
• 47:58
  Speaker 1: Yeah, both my kids are huge Detroit Lion fans.
• 48:00
  Speaker 1: So up until this year or this week, we've had, you know, 20 years of suffering and and plenty of that behavior like just off the charts temper tantrums, throwing stuff, breaking stuff, reaching the walls down, and not when.
• 48:18
  Speaker 1: This is the year where it all comes back to himself again.
• 48:21
  Speaker 2: Seahawks pay lines this week.
• 48:23
  Speaker 1: So yeah, sounds like a healthy wager.
• 48:25
  Speaker 1: I'm a podge expand to you, so enjoy what you have, because we got nothing.
• 48:32
  Speaker 2: Yeah, here we go.
• 48:33
  Speaker 2: Well, we're in it, we're close, ok.
• 48:36
  Speaker 2: So for people at home have who don't know ursises, talk about what you guys do and maybe a little bit about why you started the company, how people can learn more about what you guys do.
• 48:46
  Speaker 1: Yeah, we're a staffing recruiting company that focuses on digital talent, and what that means is technology and creative talent.
• 48:54
  Speaker 1: Those two worlds are are more interdependent on each other than than ever before.
• 48:59
  Speaker 1: Our clients are a range of well known global enterprise companies like Meta and Tesla to well funded, high growth trajectory startups.
• 49:10
  Speaker 1: I started the company eight and a half years ago.
• 49:13
  Speaker 1: I'd always wanted to start my own business Really, to create a culture and environment that was like a team, like we had talked about earlier, and it happened to be staffing the longer story behind it but it's serendipitous, but it's one of the best things that's ever happened and we may only regret is I didn't start 10 years sooner.
• 49:33
  Speaker 1: You know we've been on a nice growth path ourselves.
• 49:38
  Speaker 1: The last two years.
• 49:38
  Speaker 1: We've been recognized as the fastest growing technology staffing curve of the 25,000 that exists in the United States and we're having tons of fun.
• 49:46
  Speaker 1: And you know, we value quality and we value team and culture and those are kind of our secret weapons, which are simple but not easy.
• 49:56
  Speaker 2: Love it, love it.
• 49:57
  Speaker 2: That's awesome.
• 49:57
  Speaker 2: I will make sure everybody's we're linked.
• 49:59
  Speaker 2: In the show notes actually wrote down some names.
• 50:01
  Speaker 2: I'm going to connect you to these people because I think it hopefully will help you guys out to offline.
• 50:05
  Speaker 2: If you were to summarize, john, what we talked about the dads can take, maybe if summarize kind of in two or three you know nuggets of wisdom that dads can take from our conversation to say, man, I learned a, b and C and I'm going to use these you know stories or these values or these experiences that Casey and John talked about, to be that ultimate quarterback or leader of their home.
• 50:27
  Speaker 2: Tell me what comes to mind.
• 50:28
  Speaker 1: I think there's.
• 50:29
  Speaker 1: You have to have acceptance of yourself and compassion for yourself and that of your kids.
• 50:34
  Speaker 1: You know to listen, to collaborate which may sound silly when you're talking about maybe a six or seven or eight year old but to make sure that they know that they have a voice and that there's a dialogue and and that you're the dad and sometimes it's going to go your way, but you know you're going to explain why and talk to them about it, and that continues on really for a lifetime.
• 50:57
  Speaker 1: I still do that with my dad.
• 50:58
  Speaker 1: You know I reach out to him for experience.
• 51:00
  Speaker 1: He'll give me ideas and suggestions.
• 51:02
  Speaker 1: I won't always agree with him.
• 51:03
  Speaker 1: He'll tell me why, and now there's an understanding and a respect that's built and trust and that's a practice.
• 51:10
  Speaker 1: You know.
• 51:11
  Speaker 1: Like anything else, every day is another day to do better.
• 51:14
  Speaker 1: And I guess the last thing is again, it's just not about you, it's about them.
• 51:20
  Speaker 1: It's always about them.
• 51:23
  Speaker 3: That's so good.
• 51:24
  Speaker 1: And that's what you signed up for from the day they were born to the day that you decided to come to somebody's life as a step pair.
• 51:30
  Speaker 2: So good man, I just, I'm just like I can think of three words on this episode.
• 51:33
  Speaker 2: It's like check your ego, yeah, check your ego.
• 51:35
  Speaker 2: It's like so this has been awesome.
• 51:39
  Speaker 2: Ok, I want to be respectful.
• 51:41
  Speaker 2: I know you got to get going pretty soon.
• 51:42
  Speaker 2: We're time to go in the lightning round Time to show you that I have a legit screw loose.
• 51:48
  Speaker 2: Your mom would probably verify it if we ever had an appointment.
• 51:51
  Speaker 2: I'm going to ask you just completely random questions that come to mind.
• 51:54
  Speaker 2: My job is to ask as quick as I can.
• 51:56
  Speaker 2: Your job is to respond as quickly as you can and, I hope, to get a giggle out of you.
• 52:00
  Speaker 2: Let's do it.
• 52:01
  Speaker 2: Ok, true or false, with a keyboard behind you.
• 52:05
  Speaker 2: If I asked you to play walking in Memphis, you'd do it right now.
• 52:08
  Speaker 2: False, I kind of got a giggle, but I'm not going to count that.
• 52:12
  Speaker 2: Ok, I wish If you could play walking in Memphis, would you play it at the next sales kickoff versus?
• 52:19
  Speaker 1: 100%.
• 52:21
  Speaker 2: Good answer.
• 52:21
  Speaker 2: Favorite word is serendipitous.
• 52:24
  Speaker 2: True or false, false.
• 52:27
  Speaker 2: Ok, what is your favorite word?
• 52:29
  Speaker 1: Vecissitudes Only because I like the way it sounds and my grandma used to send me words in the mail from the reader's digest, and Vecissitudes is one of them.
• 52:37
  Speaker 1: I just like saying it.
• 52:38
  Speaker 2: I think I said I'd have a list for the rest of the day, so I'm going to try.
• 52:41
  Speaker 2: Just a fun word you said If I came to your house for dinner tonight, what would we have?
• 52:47
  Speaker 1: Diamond and asparagus and some grains.
• 52:49
  Speaker 2: OK, rugby one on one.
• 52:52
  Speaker 2: I'm going to come at you.
• 52:53
  Speaker 2: Do I make the tackle?
• 52:55
  Speaker 1: Oh, for sure.
• 52:56
  Speaker 2: I don't think I would you go though.
• 52:58
  Speaker 1: For sure, you play football, you know tackle.
• 52:59
  Speaker 1: I think I'd break my back, especially now at the age of 54, turning 55, you definitely make the tackle.
• 53:09
  Speaker 2: Well, as a quarterback I had to make too many tackles, which means I probably threw too many interceptions.
• 53:12
  Speaker 2: So sorry, team, if I wanted your phone, what would be the one song that your kids would be shocked you listened to.
• 53:19
  Speaker 1: Taylor Swift?
• 53:20
  Speaker 1: I don't know.
• 53:21
  Speaker 2: Wifty, that a boy, I like it yeah.
• 53:22
  Speaker 1: I'm for sure 100%.
• 53:24
  Speaker 1: I've got a broad range of music.
• 53:26
  Speaker 2: Love it.
• 53:26
  Speaker 2: Tell me the last book you read.
• 53:32
  Speaker 1: The book I'm reading right now is a short history of the United States.
• 53:34
  Speaker 1: Awesome History of the US in 400 pages, from the day that Columbus landed up until present day.
• 53:42
  Speaker 1: It's written like a novel and it is a reminder that history repeats itself over and over and over and over again.
• 53:49
  Speaker 1: I'm reading about stuff in the 1800s and like, oh my gosh, it's happening today.
• 53:54
  Speaker 2: I got to get that book when we're done.
• 53:55
  Speaker 2: Okay, if there was to be a book written about your life, tell me the title.
• 53:59
  Speaker 1: How about an extraordinary life of an ordinary dude Boom?
• 54:02
  Speaker 2: I love that.
• 54:03
  Speaker 2: Now, john, this book has been written and everyone's reading it.
• 54:06
  Speaker 2: It's in every.
• 54:07
  Speaker 2: You're flying to all these places and it's like that's book about me.
• 54:10
  Speaker 2: That's pretty cool.
• 54:11
  Speaker 2: All of a sudden, netflix finds out about a Hulu.
• 54:13
  Speaker 2: Now they're fighting because they want to make a movie about it and you're the now the casting director, and you know who is going to star you in this critically acclaimed new movie Ben Affleck.
• 54:22
  Speaker 2: Benny Affleck, he's going to have to shave his head.
• 54:26
  Speaker 1: I just have a lot of hair which I'm sure you did too and great hair, very similar to Ben Affleck Papador.
• 54:34
  Speaker 1: The whole bit.
• 54:34
  Speaker 1: Ben Affleck Love it Sans back tattoo.
• 54:39
  Speaker 2: Wow, there we go.
• 54:40
  Speaker 2: Okay, now last question Tell me two words that describe your wife Blast and grateful, there we go.
• 54:47
  Speaker 2: This episode has come to a close.
• 54:50
  Speaker 2: I want to say thank you to Latitude Sitka for your continued support of this podcast for years.
• 54:56
  Speaker 2: A Salmon team up in a sick Alaska was able to visit them in June.
• 54:59
  Speaker 2: It is a fantastic place.
• 55:01
  Speaker 2: If you guys are looking for a creative place to take your team, take an event.
• 55:06
  Speaker 2: We call it 40 year birthday party.
• 55:07
  Speaker 2: Whatever you want to do, highly recommend it.
• 55:09
  Speaker 2: We went up there and had an absolute blast.
• 55:12
  Speaker 2: For everybody who's got intrigued by John's background, we will make sure he's linked in the show notes.
• 55:18
  Speaker 2: We'll make sure Ursus is linked in the show notes.
• 55:19
  Speaker 2: But, john, this has been a blast.
• 55:21
  Speaker 2: Get in to know you.
• 55:21
  Speaker 2: I'm so grateful for your time and hopefully our past will continue to talk soon.
• 55:26
  Speaker 1: Super fun, not easy.