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Breaking Free from Busyness - How to Reconnect in Your Marriage Pt 2 (Marriage Reset Series) - 257 · Marriage Life and More and Bible Study

0:06
Daniel Moore: The whole key to this whole thing is it doesn't matter if it's something that I have in common with you or not.
0:11
Daniel Moore: If it's something that means a lot to you and I know that you really enjoy doing that and you really care about doing that you still want to share that with me and I need to be aware enough in the communication department when I'm talking to you to understand that this is a cue.
0:27
Daniel Moore: This is you trying to open up to me and open up some conversation and some talk between each other and have a meaningful, intimate moment.
0:35
Daniel Moore: That's what that all is, and you know the key to this is to pay attention and listen for what's beyond the words.
0:44
Daniel Moore: This week, on Marriage Life and More, we continue our series on marriage reset.
0:48
Daniel Moore: We're going to get into part two of our episode on breaking free from busyness.
0:53
Daniel Moore: We'll get back into that right after this.
0:56
Daniel Moore: Thank you, welcome to Marriage Life and More.
1:33
Daniel Moore: This is a podcast about marriage, bible and book studies, and we do interviews with people that have inspiring stories.
1:39
Daniel Moore: I'm Daniel Moore, your host, and once again this week, I have my beautiful co-host sitting over here, my wife Michelle.
1:46
Michelle Moore: Hey, hey.
1:47
Daniel Moore: Thank you, guys for joining us this week.
1:48
Daniel Moore: If you're not familiar with our show, check out our website at marriage life and more.
1:51
Daniel Moore: com.
1:52
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1:54
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2:00
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2:05
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2:07
Daniel Moore: Feel free to leave a comment on our platform to give us a thumbs up or a five-star review on Apple Podcasts, and we'd be grateful to you for doing that.
2:16
Daniel Moore: Well, this week we've got a lot of territory to cover, so we're just going to jump right into it.
2:20
Daniel Moore: We're going to be getting back into Episode 3 of our series that we've been doing on Marriage Reset.
2:28
Daniel Moore: If you feel like you're a roommate in your marriage, we're trying our best to work through on how to change that to being back to a soulmate.
2:34
Daniel Moore: And last week we started this episode and it was on busyness, and this week we're going to continue and try to wrap this episode up.
2:42
Daniel Moore: This week's Breaking Free from Busyness how to Reconnect in your Marriage.
2:55
Michelle Moore: When couples begin to see that their packed schedules are slowly eroding their closeness, they often respond by putting all their hope into the next big escape or event.
3:07
Michelle Moore: They pin their connection on future moments a fancy dinner, a long weekend getaway or a long awaited vacation these occasions become their lifeline, a chance to reconnect, recharge and feel close again.
3:23
Michelle Moore: The problem is they expect these rare moments to carry the emotional weight of time lost, months or even years of disconnect, and because of that, the pressure to make those moments magical become overwhelming.
3:39
Michelle Moore: Unfortunately, the pressure often backfires, leading to disappointment instead of deep connection.
3:46
Michelle Moore: It's just not sustainable.
3:48
Michelle Moore: A thriving relationship needs regular attention, not just highlight reels.
3:53
Michelle Moore: Consider this example from a guy named Jake and his wife, kayla Weekend at the lake house.
4:01
Michelle Moore: Those four words had me, jake, convinced we were about to have the perfect reset.
4:07
Michelle Moore: I was hopeful, maybe even a little desperate, for some quality time that would pull our family back together.
4:14
Michelle Moore: It had been a chaotic year.
4:16
Michelle Moore: Our twin boys had started high school, our oldest daughter was buried in college applications and my wife Kayla and I had spent most weekdays struggling work deadlines and weekend commitments.
4:29
Michelle Moore: We were all pulling in different directions.
4:32
Michelle Moore: So when I booked a long weekend at a remote lake house in northern Minnesota over fall break.
4:39
Michelle Moore: I envisioned us unplugging, reconnecting and laughing around campfires in flannel pajamas.
4:47
Michelle Moore: We arrived late on Thursday night, just as the last bit of daylight dipped behind the pine trees.
4:55
Michelle Moore: We unloaded bags by flashlight and collapsed into our beds.
5:00
Michelle Moore: The next morning, full of excitement, I gathered everyone for a hike along one of the lake trails.
5:06
Michelle Moore: Finally, our weekend was in motion.
5:09
Michelle Moore: But we barely made it down the trail before things started to unravel.
5:14
Michelle Moore: 15-year-old Eli and his brother Noah started a pretty back and forth about who had a better aim with skipping stones.
5:24
Michelle Moore: Back and forth about who had a better aim with skipping stones.
5:28
Michelle Moore: What begins teasing quickly escalated into a shouting, match and shoves.
5:30
Michelle Moore: Their sister, charlotte, rolled her eyes and walked off in the other direction.
5:35
Michelle Moore: I stepped in to calm things down, but my attempt at diplomacy tanked fast.
5:40
Michelle Moore: Eli declared he was over it and stomped back to the house.
5:44
Michelle Moore: Charlotte decided not to join us for breakfast and when she came back an hour later I met her with a flood of frustration.
5:52
Michelle Moore: I gave her a lecture about attitude, family unity and how this weekend was supposed to bring us together.
6:00
Michelle Moore: The room fell into an awkward silence as everyone stared down at their food.
6:05
Michelle Moore: Eating quietly, I muttered something like we're going to enjoy this vacation, whether you like it or not, and marched out the door.
6:16
Michelle Moore: Kayla found me later that morning sitting at the edge of the dock watching geese fly over the water.
6:22
Michelle Moore: She asked me what was really going on.
6:24
Michelle Moore: I didn't want to admit it at first, but I felt pressure building inside.
6:29
Michelle Moore: The more we talked, the more I realized I had loaded up the trip with massive expectations.
6:35
Michelle Moore: I wanted this one weekend to fix all the distance, the stress, the cold dinners and miss conversations from the past several months.
6:45
Michelle Moore: I'd expected too much from too little time, and that's why so many of us do.
6:52
Michelle Moore: We place all our hope for renewal in a single event a weekend, a vacation, a special dinner, and we expect those moments to undo months or even years of disconnection.
7:07
Michelle Moore: But life doesn't work like that.
7:09
Michelle Moore: Relationships don't heal on command or follow a fixed schedule.
7:15
Michelle Moore: Jake finally saw that his desperation for reconnection had led him to put unfair pressure on everyone, including himself.
7:23
Michelle Moore: After that honest conversation, he returned to the house and asked everyone to gather.
7:29
Michelle Moore: He apologized for setting the bar so high and for trying to script the weekend into something perfect.
7:36
Michelle Moore: He admitted his need to control things and promised to chill out and let the weekend unfold.
7:42
Michelle Moore: Naturally, did that reset their family overnight?
7:46
Michelle Moore: No, but from that point on things felt lighter.
7:50
Michelle Moore: They laughed over burnt marshmallows, got soaked in the surprise rainstorm and had a few simple but meaningful conversations.
7:58
Michelle Moore: It wasn't perfect, but it was real.
8:01
Michelle Moore: And for Jake the biggest win wasn't the hiking trail or the lake or the late-night board games.
8:08
Michelle Moore: It was the freedom of letting go.
8:09
Michelle Moore: It was the freedom of letting go without the weight of unrealistic expectations crushing the trip he can enjoy the quiet and perfect moments and those moments, unassuming as they were, helped bring them closer.
8:35
Daniel Moore: This story really hits home in a lot of different ways because I know a lot of times people do try to use vacations because they only get so many vacations for one thing.
8:39
Daniel Moore: And why do we only get so many vacations?
8:41
Daniel Moore: Because we're so busy and we work and we work.
8:43
Daniel Moore: And some people may not have all the vacation time to take off like that.
8:48
Daniel Moore: Some have a lot of vacation time to take off but they can't leave work because they're one of the prime people in the business and you know they really have to really plan their times away.
8:59
Daniel Moore: And usually when somebody's that busy, that does flow over into their family life and it creates this busyness that we talked about last week.
9:07
Daniel Moore: And so families like this that just operate on this constant on the go, full speed ahead syndrome, they usually try to take these vacations and fix all their problems with this four or five days at the lake or whatever.
9:25
Daniel Moore: And how many times do we go into a vacation with all these expectations and plans and you know we're going to have a great time with our kids and everybody's going to get along great and we're all going to get along great and there's not going to be no fighting, no arguing.
9:39
Daniel Moore: You know all this stuff that we always think about.
9:41
Daniel Moore: And then when we get there and all of a sudden it doesn't go that direction and people start losing their tempers and attitudes start flaring.
9:49
Daniel Moore: It's real quick, real easy to ruin a vacation real fast when that happens and if you know, in this situation they were actually able to talk it through and they were able to figure out what the issues were and it sounds like at the end of their trip they actually did have some positive interaction and enjoyed themselves.
10:08
Daniel Moore: But how many times do we hear of those trips where they come home still angry at each other?
10:12
Daniel Moore: It didn't resolve nothing and, as a matter of fact, sometimes you'll talk to them like I wish we'd never went.
10:17
Daniel Moore: You know, it's like I could have just stayed at work and had more enjoyment than all this time fighting with you guys at the lake or whatever.
10:24
Michelle Moore: And I think sometimes too you know, listen to this his expectations.
10:28
Michelle Moore: I was thinking to myself how many of us are those type of people that like plan a trip out and it should go like this, this and this and this, and when it doesn't, the frustration sets in and silently you're like very, extremely frustrated and you start taking it out on everybody.
10:47
Daniel Moore: Yeah, I think it's in our natural being, the way that we are made up, that if we have plans, we want to meet those plans and do them and in our mind we think we're going to.
10:59
Daniel Moore: But then when it gets interrupted or disrupted and things don't go like we wanted them to, some people can go with the flow and they don't have any issue with that, but there's some people that's a huge problem.
11:11
Michelle Moore: Well, let's see, was I that way at the very beginning?
11:13
Michelle Moore: Because, yes, I was.
11:15
Michelle Moore: Now I'm like eh, who cares?
11:17
Michelle Moore: Like you know, I'm like whatever you want to do, let's just do it.
11:21
Daniel Moore: But you know, even with my personality, there's sometimes I have plans that I get upset because they don't, you know, play out like I expected them to and thought that they were going to, like I expected them to and thought that they were going to, and there's just something about for some reason.
11:38
Daniel Moore: There's just something about, it seems to me, like with your family, especially if you plan a trip with your family and you've not had much time to interact with each other for a while and it seems like we're all getting on each other's nerves and we think, ok, let's just this vacation, let's just put all that aside and let's reconnect and, you know, try to be, enjoy each other's company and this time that we're going to have together and all that, and we do.
11:59
Daniel Moore: We sometimes go into it with that mindset that we're just going to fix everything this weekend.
12:02
Daniel Moore: We're going to come back Monday and we're going to be starting all over.
12:06
Daniel Moore: Everything's going to be happy and wonderful and excitement and we're just going to all love each other and all this kind of thing.
12:12
Daniel Moore: And you know, really it's just a false hope.
12:15
Michelle Moore: Yeah.
12:15
Daniel Moore: Because if you've gone so far that, as in this story here that you know described, they'd gotten pretty deep into being really busy and just not connecting with each other and so probably some damage had been done already before they went into this weekend and they went into the weekend the parents did with the wrong idea of this is going to fix everything.
12:38
Michelle Moore: And I have to say kudos goes to the husband because he could have chose not to discuss how he was feeling to his wife.
12:48
Daniel Moore: Yeah.
12:49
Michelle Moore: But he did, he opened up in that honest communication.
12:53
Daniel Moore: He could have just sit there and blamed it on everybody else.
12:55
Daniel Moore: Yeah, and the problem's not with me.
12:57
Michelle Moore: I thought to myself huh, I was like Jake, you did well.
13:00
Daniel Moore: Yeah, he did, and you know couples are often given solutions when these issues arise.
13:05
Daniel Moore: These problems arise, such as the following to manage busyness and disconnection, you're told to slow down.
13:11
Daniel Moore: You're told to slow down.
13:12
Daniel Moore: You're told to do less.
13:13
Daniel Moore: You're told to create margins.
13:15
Daniel Moore: You're even told by some people.
13:16
Daniel Moore: You know you need to simplify your life, re-evaluate what is on your plate, set better boundaries, shed commitments, give yourself permission to say no.
13:25
Daniel Moore: How many times have we heard stuff like that?
13:28
Daniel Moore: You know, delegate and be willing to let go Better.
13:31
Daniel Moore: Manage your time, plan your week, schedule your calendar and rearrange your priorities to create space for your spouse.
13:37
Daniel Moore: Make your husband or wife your top priority after God.
13:40
Daniel Moore: Schedule a date night every week, put it on the calendar.
13:43
Daniel Moore: Unplug from technology.
13:44
Daniel Moore: Limit your children's activities, create a marriage or family mission statement.
13:48
Daniel Moore: And you know it's not that these strategies are bad or don't have value because they do.
13:55
Daniel Moore: You know there's a lot of things in that list there that probably would be beneficial for you and your marriage and in your life.
14:00
Daniel Moore: In fact, we're going to explore several of them later on in future episodes as we get into the series a little deeper.
14:06
Daniel Moore: The real issue is that many of these approaches tend to create a cycle for couples that looks more like a short-term boost than a lasting solution.
14:15
Daniel Moore: They spark a temporary sense of closeness, but before long those same feelings of distance start to settle back in.
14:22
Daniel Moore: As the connection fades, the guilt and disappointment returns.
14:26
Daniel Moore: Couples are left feeling like they failed or that the effort wasn't enough, which only deepens that discouragement.
14:33
Daniel Moore: So we need to just take a moment and breathe.
14:37
Daniel Moore: You know we're not about to tell you to plan an elaborate getaway or pile another thing onto your already full plate.
14:43
Daniel Moore: You won't find a long checklist of what you should need to or must be doing for your relationship.
14:49
Daniel Moore: That could end up adding more pressure than progress, because that's usually what happens when people add stuff on your plate like that.
14:56
Daniel Moore: You know shifting from feeling like co-managers of life to true partners and companions doesn't happen through dramatic schedule overhauls or by packing your calendar with weekly date nights.
15:06
Daniel Moore: Anniversary getaways are perfectly planned traditions.
15:10
Daniel Moore: Instead, we need to think about the advice that Moses gave in Deuteronomy, chapter 11.
15:14
Daniel Moore: In verse 19, he was teaching about God's truths to children during the normal rhythms of life, when you're at home, on the go, sitting down at night and starting fresh in the morning.
15:25
Daniel Moore: He doesn't call for grand programs, rigid routines or highly structured lessons.
15:30
Daniel Moore: He emphasizes simply making the most of everyday interactions, and so that's the approach that we want to encourage in your marriage too.
15:39
Daniel Moore: You don't need big orchestrated moments.
15:41
Daniel Moore: It's fun to take these trips and you need these trips.
15:44
Daniel Moore: You need to go on vacations, you need to go on cruises and stuff like that, but you can't put all the pressure on those to fix your life, marriage problems, your you know your home issues and all these things that we create on a daily basis.
15:59
Daniel Moore: Sometimes, as we get so busy with schedules and stuff, you can't rely on these little vacations that you take to solve all of those issues.
16:06
Daniel Moore: What really builds long lasting connection is intentionally leaning into the small daily opportunities to engage, listen, laugh, touch and talk.
16:16
Daniel Moore: It's in those ordinary moments that extraordinary connection can be formed.
16:21
Michelle Moore: I love that.
16:32
Daniel Moore: And you know there's a phenomenon in weather that's called microburst.
16:36
Daniel Moore: I know you've heard that before.
16:38
Daniel Moore: Here in Missouri we get those occasionally.
16:41
Daniel Moore: We'll have a big storm come through and it gets super windy, and then all of a sudden this big, huge burst of wind will come through just super fast and it's knocked over billboards, it's knocked over telephone poles, it's ripped off roofs before and then, of course, after that everybody goes through and they look at oh, that was a tornado.
16:59
Daniel Moore: It's like, no, that was just a microburst, that wasn't actually a tornado, but that wind just hits with such force all of a sudden that it just changes everything.
17:09
Daniel Moore: And when you think about those microbursts, we can actually translate that over into our marriage relationships.
17:17
Daniel Moore: And last week, as we were leaving our last episode, we gave you a little bit of spoiler about what we was going to talk about this week and some ways that you can try to help fix some of these issues in your marriages.
17:27
Daniel Moore: And we call them micro moments is what we call those.
17:31
Daniel Moore: They're micro moments of connection.
17:34
Daniel Moore: So there's an internationally respected relationship researcher.
17:37
Daniel Moore: Her name is Elaine Morris, she has a doctorate and she spent over four decades studying thousands of pairs and how they interact.
17:44
Daniel Moore: Her groundbreaking work at the relational dynamics lab in the University of Colorado has revealed some of the most compelling insights into what makes couples thrive or falter over time.
17:56
Daniel Moore: During one particular study observing newlyweds in their early years of marriage, dr Morrison covered something both powerful and surprisingly simple.
18:05
Daniel Moore: Couples who maintained their connection weren't necessarily those who went on lavish date nights or perfected communication.
18:12
Daniel Moore: They were simply the couples who responded to each other, not with grand gestures, but with attention and empathy.
18:19
Daniel Moore: Couples who stayed together six years later responded positively to each other's attempts to connection roughly 84% of the time.
18:27
Daniel Moore: In contrast, couples who eventually divorced only responded about 30% of the time.
18:34
Daniel Moore: And you might find yourself asking responded to what?
18:37
Daniel Moore: Well, dr Morris coined the term connection cues.
18:42
Daniel Moore: These cues are everyday efforts from one partner to reach for attention, acknowledgement, affirmation or comfort.
18:47
Daniel Moore: They're often subtle, but they carry a clear message.
18:51
Daniel Moore: I'm trying to connect with you.
18:53
Daniel Moore: Counselor and author James Halston explains it this way Meaningful relationships aren't built in mountaintop moments or highlight real vacations.
19:03
Daniel Moore: They're built in dozens of tiny, seemingly unimportant exchanges through the rough, routine parts of life.
19:09
Daniel Moore: Routine parts of life.
19:10
Daniel Moore: Love happens in hallway conversations, quick glances, small touch points, a hand on a shoulder, walking the dogs together, laughter over burnt dinner.
19:24
Daniel Moore: These moments reveal a simple truth we always have the chance to turn away or toward our partner To better understand how connection cues work.
19:30
Daniel Moore: Think of a child lobbying for attention.
19:33
Daniel Moore: You know they're actually masters at this.
19:35
Daniel Moore: Asking to play a game, crawling into your lap or even throwing a tantrum are all different ways of saying the same thing.
19:43
Daniel Moore: Notice me, adults make similar bids, but often in much more understated and easy-to-miss ways.
19:51
Daniel Moore: For example, imagine your wife is passionate about home decor.
19:56
Daniel Moore: My wife started looking at me with this look in her eye because she thinks I'm talking about her.
20:05
Michelle Moore: Do you think I'm talking about you?
20:06
Michelle Moore: I'm not, she's not going to comment.
20:08
Daniel Moore: No comment, I'm out.
20:10
Daniel Moore: Anybody that visits our house through the seasons those of you that are listening you know what I'm talking about.
20:17
Daniel Moore: My love is awesome at decorating and she loves to do it, and we have four seasons of decorations in our home, maybe five, I don't know.
20:23
Daniel Moore: I think it's five.
20:24
Daniel Moore: Yeah, I think it is five.
20:25
Michelle Moore: Maybe six.
20:26
Daniel Moore: Yeah, our poor attic just like overflows with stuff.
20:29
Michelle Moore: Sorry guys, I just love doing it.
20:32
Daniel Moore: She walks through the door holding the latest find from a thrift store and says with excitement guess how much this vase was?
20:39
Daniel Moore: It's originally from a designer collection.
20:42
Daniel Moore: Now, you may not care about vases or home design one bit.
20:46
Daniel Moore: You might be tempted to grunt and nod.
20:48
Daniel Moore: But what she's really doing is trying to share her joy with you.
20:52
Daniel Moore: She's tossing a connection cue your way, hoping you'll pick it up, even just for a moment.
20:59
Daniel Moore: In my own life, michelle loves playing a game she calls what do you think it costs?
21:05
Daniel Moore: She thrives off finding great deals at the store.
21:08
Daniel Moore: She'll hold up a new find, maybe a pair of shoes or something and she'll say with glee She'll hold up a new fine, maybe a pair of shoes or something, and she'll say with glee original price was $120.
21:15
Daniel Moore: Guess what I paid?
21:16
Daniel Moore: Well, I used to miss what was really happening.
21:20
Daniel Moore: I'd roll my eyes or toss out a quick guess just to move on.
21:23
Daniel Moore: But over time I've realized it wasn't about the sale.
21:26
Daniel Moore: It was about the connection she wanted me to share in her excitement, to smile and to be a part of that moment with her.
21:35
Daniel Moore: Connection cues can be verbal or physical A touch on the back, a shared glance during a chaotic moment with the kids, a casual comment like work was a lot today.
21:44
Daniel Moore: Even household requests can be subtle bids for attention Can you help me with the dishes or do you have a minute?
21:52
Daniel Moore: Each time we're being invited to engage, the real challenge is recognizing that invitation when it shows up in disguise.
22:00
Daniel Moore: Some cues are clear, like how was your day or could we talk later.
22:05
Daniel Moore: Others might seem mundane, like an email forward or a comment about a TV show or a meme texted in the middle of the day.
22:12
Daniel Moore: These are all doorways to connection.
22:15
Daniel Moore: What matters most is whether we walk through them.
22:19
Daniel Moore: And as I'm reading through this, you and I both have met with couples and talked to different people and we've been in the same boat before where we miss this all the time.
22:30
Daniel Moore: And you know, one of the biggest things that I can think of right off the top of my head right now is like when I come home every day at lunchtime and even after the end of the day, because we both do lunch together for a small portion of time there, you know you'll ask me so how's your day been?
22:48
Daniel Moore: You know how's your day going, and the tendency is for me to say it's fine and just move on and, you know, not think twice about that.
22:59
Daniel Moore: And I see a lot of people do that and that's the extent of their conversation.
23:05
Daniel Moore: And you know, sometimes people actually get irritated because they're asked that question.
23:11
Daniel Moore: It's like, well, what do you think I was doing?
23:14
Daniel Moore: You know, you think I'm not at work.
23:16
Daniel Moore: You know, am I accusing me of doing something else or whatever?
23:20
Daniel Moore: And you know, I think that couples so often take this stuff so wrong, and this is something that I've had to learn over time.
23:27
Daniel Moore: And you know, michelle, she'll tell you that.
23:28
Daniel Moore: And you know, michelle, she'll tell you that.
23:31
Daniel Moore: You know, as if you ask me these questions, that I will give you answers because I know what you're after.
23:41
Daniel Moore: And this is a big part of communicating and, like this, of saying you know, there's so many times that so many couples look at these as just little small things, they don't think they're important, and so they just pass it on by.
23:56
Daniel Moore: But so many couples look at these as just little small things, they don't think they're important and so they just pass it on by.
24:00
Daniel Moore: And you know, I feel so, so much for couples that you sit there and watch them communicate between each other and they'll drop these subtle little questions and these subtle little hints between each other, just trying to start a conversation and talk.
24:14
Daniel Moore: And then you'll sit there and watch the other spouse give a one word answer and then go back to their phone or go back to looking at the TV or whatever it may be, and they do not carry on that conversation and then once again that spouse feels left out and rejected because all they were trying to do was have a good communication with their spouse.
24:31
Daniel Moore: It's just as simple as just asking how was your day.
24:35
Daniel Moore: It's just, it's a conversation starter, and so many times we overlook that.
24:39
Daniel Moore: So what are what's some thoughts that you have on on some of that?
24:43
Michelle Moore: Oh yeah, You're going to ask me.
24:44
Daniel Moore: I'm over here sitting here crying guys I was talking, trying to get help, help her have some time to to dry her tears.
24:50
Daniel Moore: So what are you feeling?
24:54
Michelle Moore: I want to know what's going on in your mind with that From the time that we first got married to where it is now.
25:02
Michelle Moore: For you to talk about that and just to recognize it just really, you know, just warms my heart that you know what it is that I want and guys, this is like we've been married 23 years and for him to talk about this and to know where we're at today you have no idea how much it means to me of him having like learning to communicate and learning to what it is that I want and what I love, and I, just my love is just like for you is just overwhelming, like I just I just thank God, like where we're at today and just where we've been, and just I look at you and I think I'm so lucky to have someone like you.
25:51
Daniel Moore: Well, I'm going to tell you, I see guys all the time that I can tell, when they answer their wives, when they try to start a communication like that, that they're not interested.
26:00
Daniel Moore: If it's not something that's in their wheelhouse and something that they're interested in talking about, they'll blow their wife off and not even continue that conversation.
26:08
Daniel Moore: They'll give them this little one word answer or whatever and just move on.
26:12
Daniel Moore: And you know I don't like everything that you do as far as hobbies, just the general things that you enjoy doing.
26:24
Daniel Moore: There are a lot of things that we're similar in, but there's some things that you do that's not my thing, and it's the same way vice versa.
26:31
Daniel Moore: There's things that I do that's not your thing, and then we do have things that are in common.
26:36
Daniel Moore: But the whole key to this whole thing is it doesn't matter if it's something that I have in common with you or not.
26:42
Daniel Moore: If it's something that means a lot to you and I know that you really enjoy doing that and you really care about doing that you still want to share that with me.
26:50
Daniel Moore: You still want to share that with me and I need to be, you know, aware enough in the communication department when I'm talking to you to understand that this is a cue.
26:58
Daniel Moore: This is you trying to open up to me and open up some conversation and some talk between each other and have a meaningful, intimate moment.
27:06
Daniel Moore: That's what that all is, and you know the key to this is to pay attention and listen for what's beyond the words.
27:13
Daniel Moore: There's more to what's being asked than just a question.
27:16
Daniel Moore: There's more there, it's a mind thing, and you need to get to know your spouse enough to understand that.
27:21
Daniel Moore: And you need to respond intentionally, not just off the cuff, just to give them an answer and blow them off so that they'll shut up and leave you alone.
27:30
Michelle Moore: Oh, you can always tell when it's genuine, you can tell when it's you can.
27:33
Daniel Moore: You can tell when it's intentional.
27:34
Daniel Moore: And in order for this communication thing to work between each other, you have to be intentional with it.
27:40
Daniel Moore: A small laugh, a thoughtful question, a small show of affection that can be incredibly meaningful.
27:46
Daniel Moore: Absolutely, these micro moments are often more powerful than anything planned or rehearsed and over time, the simple act of noticing and responding adds up to a marriage deeply rooted in consistent connection.
28:00
Daniel Moore: And it's one cue at a time.
28:01
Daniel Moore: It's not a big, huge vacation, it's not a big cruise.
28:03
Daniel Moore: It's not buying a big, huge old fat diamond ring.
28:06
Daniel Moore: Those things are awesome and that has its place, but it's not there to fix problems.
28:12
Daniel Moore: These problems have to be fixed little things at a time.
28:16
Daniel Moore: It's as little as when, you know, michelle tries to hold my hand, or I try to hold her hand, or she's sitting on the couch and I walk behind and I'll reach down and pat her on the shoulder.
28:27
Daniel Moore: It's stuff like that that couples should long for and get it, because we've got to understand that there's more to relationships as a husband and wife and in a relationship like that than just casual conversation and passing.
28:47
Daniel Moore: You've got to have those deeper moments where you can actually connect in an emotional level and an intimate level.
28:55
Daniel Moore: Did you have something?
28:58
Michelle Moore: I just wanted to make this comment.
29:00
Michelle Moore: Dan knows how I am about Christmas and when I say, oh, can we go to the store?
29:06
Michelle Moore: And it's usually like that home store or something.
29:10
Michelle Moore: No, I am so excited you are not going to believe, like a kid in a candy store.
29:19
Michelle Moore: It is.
29:20
Michelle Moore: I've got like I can do this, I can do that, and I'm just like all excited.
29:26
Daniel Moore: I'm like half our attic is full of Christmas.
29:28
Michelle Moore: But you know what?
29:29
Michelle Moore: He sits there and just smiles at me and I'm like what do you think, can I get this?
29:32
Michelle Moore: And he's like sure, it's like whatever makes you happy.
29:36
Michelle Moore: And I know deep down he's thinking well, the attic is full.
29:41
Daniel Moore: We're going to be in the hole for six months.
29:44
Michelle Moore: But it's just funny because when I talk about I just think about, because you end up smiling, because you're laughing at me, because the way I'm being and I'm loving it, because you're loving me doing something that you don't really like, but I love it, and then you have to pack it.
30:00
Daniel Moore: I mean you have to bring it up the stairs and the tote, stack it in the attic, climb the ladder.
30:05
Daniel Moore: I know.
30:06
Daniel Moore: See, guys, that's love right there, that is true love yeah, sorry, I got offside.
30:12
Daniel Moore: But you know what, just from just from a husband's aspect of things, and you know guys out there, you can think that this is losing your man card, all you want to, all you want to, but it's not.
30:22
Daniel Moore: This is something you really need to seriously think about and consider towards your spouse and that relationship that you have.
30:30
Daniel Moore: I may not really be the Christmassy person that, michelle.
30:34
Daniel Moore: This is a perfect example of what I just said a while ago.
30:38
Daniel Moore: I'm not Christmassy.
30:39
Daniel Moore: I love.
30:39
Daniel Moore: I like Christmas.
30:40
Daniel Moore: It's pretty, I like the decorations and all that kind of stuff, but she's like over the top.
30:44
Daniel Moore: Okay with Christmas.
30:45
Daniel Moore: It's pretty, I like the decorations and all that kind of stuff, but she's like over the top.
30:47
Daniel Moore: Ok with Christmas, and I'm not that.
30:50
Daniel Moore: But you know what, when I I can sit there and when she wants to go to the store and look at all this stuff, obviously the first response is good grief, we got plenty of Christmas stuff.
30:59
Daniel Moore: You know what else is out there that you need to buy?
31:02
Daniel Moore: You've got it all.
31:02
Daniel Moore: But, like she said, I just I go with the flow, I go with her and whatever.
31:08
Daniel Moore: But when she gets there, she starts looking at everything and I see the smile on her face and I see her light up like a light bulb and I just tell that she's in her rhythm, she's in her place, she's in her spot.
31:20
Daniel Moore: You know that makes me happy because I know that that's something that you really care about and that means a lot to you and I'm just thankful that I'm there to be able to share that with you.
31:30
Daniel Moore: I watch so many guys just blow that off and stay home.
31:34
Daniel Moore: You go by yourself and go look at all that.
31:35
Daniel Moore: I'm not taking no part of none of that.
31:37
Daniel Moore: They're hateful about it.
31:38
Michelle Moore: They're just not even enjoying it.
31:40
Daniel Moore: They send them on their way.
31:41
Daniel Moore: They don't understand the whole connection value of that and they just blow it off.
31:46
Daniel Moore: And you know, take it for what it's worth.
31:50
Daniel Moore: But I found out that if I do what I do the way that I do it with you, if I go with you and enjoy those moments with you, no, it's not my thing.
31:58
Daniel Moore: We have a better relationship.
32:00
Michelle Moore: Yeah, Now there are times I don't want him going.
32:06
Daniel Moore: And that's because she doesn't want me to know what she's spending.
32:08
Daniel Moore: See, there's a, there's a key to this.
32:10
Daniel Moore: I go because I can say, oh, we've reached our limit, look at that, we still got to buy a shake when we leave.
32:17
Daniel Moore: And we're not going to have enough money if you buy that.
32:20
Michelle Moore: I don't spend a lot.
32:22
Michelle Moore: She does well as you.
32:24
Michelle Moore: As he read earlier, that bargain thing that's me.
32:27
Michelle Moore: I really truly try to find the best bargain that I can she does?
32:30
Michelle Moore: I'm like well, I think maybe this store might have it cheaper.
32:33
Daniel Moore: And we'll play.
32:33
Daniel Moore: The price is right.
32:34
Daniel Moore: She'll come up and guess what I paid for this and I'll just like 50 bucks.
32:39
Daniel Moore: No, I paid $10.
32:42
Daniel Moore: It was on sale Bargain.
32:44
Daniel Moore: Yeah, ding ding, but no.
32:48
Daniel Moore: But you know, all of that's fun.
32:49
Daniel Moore: I mean, that is what makes up our relationship.
32:52
Daniel Moore: Now there's a day when we wouldn't have done that.
32:54
Michelle Moore: No.
32:55
Daniel Moore: There's a day that I would have blown you off and totally ignored the little cues that you were throwing at me, and I would have gave you those little one word, short answers and walked off my merry way and left you standing there thinking well, I tried.
33:07
Daniel Moore: I'm so thankful Once again.
33:08
Daniel Moore: You know I tried and it didn't work.
33:10
Daniel Moore: So thankful for God and yeah, there there's a huge difference.
33:14
Daniel Moore: And I think a lot of times guys and I'm saying guys because guys do this more than women a lot of women do it too.
33:19
Daniel Moore: I'm not saying they don't, but honestly this is a guy problem, I see, more than it is a woman problem, because women want to connect intimately.
33:27
Daniel Moore: That's a woman, that's how they're created, and guys are the manly thing.
33:32
Daniel Moore: They don't want to be the intimacy and all this kind of stuff.
33:34
Daniel Moore: And you know what there's a manly thing about being intimate with your wife and you know, spiritually, emotionally, physically, all of that combined.
33:42
Daniel Moore: We're going to look at a few connection bids here.
33:45
Daniel Moore: I like to see if you guys can can relate to this.
33:48
Daniel Moore: We're going to give some examples of connection bids and what those hidden requests are.
33:53
Daniel Moore: So when I come to you, michelle and I, and you look at me and you say, how does my new outfit look?
34:01
Daniel Moore: What are you really telling me?
34:04
Michelle Moore: Will you affirm this for me?
34:06
Daniel Moore: So, guys, when she says that, she's not just saying, oh, that looks great, and you turn and walk off and act like you're not interested.
34:15
Daniel Moore: She's asking you that for a reason Women like to look good for their husbands.
34:19
Daniel Moore: They like to look good at the places that they're going.
34:21
Daniel Moore: They want to know that you're going to be happy to be walking next to them while they're wearing this outfit and that she's going to be the queen every room that you walk into, I mean, or vice versa and vice versa.
34:33
Daniel Moore: You know, but us guys don't usually ask that question as often, but some guys do.
34:38
Michelle Moore: Well, I will tell you.
34:39
Michelle Moore: When Dan walks in and he doesn't match, I'm like dude, you don't match.
34:43
Daniel Moore: Yeah, she breaks my heart.
34:44
Daniel Moore: Walks in and he doesn't match.
34:45
Daniel Moore: I'm like dude, you don't match.
34:45
Daniel Moore: Yeah, she breaks my heart.
34:46
Daniel Moore: I thought it looked great.
34:46
Michelle Moore: I was trying to tell you that.
34:47
Michelle Moore: I was trying to affirm for you that it didn't look very good.
34:50
Daniel Moore: Yeah, thanks a lot, appreciate that.
34:54
Daniel Moore: Okay.
34:55
Daniel Moore: So the next question here can you put the kids to bed?
34:59
Daniel Moore: What would that be?
35:01
Daniel Moore: Will?
35:02
Michelle Moore: you help me.
35:03
Daniel Moore: Okay, sit next to me.
35:07
Michelle Moore: Can I get some affection?
35:09
Daniel Moore: Want to play a game.
35:10
Michelle Moore: Can we have some fun?
35:12
Daniel Moore: I had a terrible interaction with a friend today.
35:16
Michelle Moore: Will you comfort me?
35:18
Daniel Moore: Let's watch TV.
35:19
Michelle Moore: Yeah, can we unwind.
35:22
Daniel Moore: I sent you a web link.
35:24
Michelle Moore: Will you take interest in what I like?
35:27
Daniel Moore: How was work today?
35:27
Daniel Moore: This is a popular question.
35:29
Michelle Moore: Can we have an adult conversation?
35:32
Daniel Moore: Guess who I ran into today.
35:34
Michelle Moore: Will you give me attention?
35:37
Daniel Moore: So see how simple this is, but yet we miss it so much Read between the lines.
35:41
Daniel Moore: We miss that stuff a lot.
35:43
Daniel Moore: Yeah, you know so cute and you know stuff a lot.
35:45
Daniel Moore: Yeah, you know, and you know, a lot of times just like, can you put the kids to bed?
35:48
Daniel Moore: You know it's a very popular thing for the spouses between each other to play a game of who's going to be the ones putting them to bed tonight, because they don't want to do it together.
35:57
Daniel Moore: You know, I see it happen.
35:59
Daniel Moore: It happened to us a lot when the kids were younger.
36:01
Daniel Moore: You know I say, well, can you put the kids in bed?
36:04
Daniel Moore: I was like, well, what are you doing?
36:05
Daniel Moore: You know, can't you go do it?
36:07
Daniel Moore: You know I'm watching my TV show or my football game.
36:11
Daniel Moore: So you know, but that's just a, that's a reach out to say, hey, can you help me do something?
36:17
Daniel Moore: You know, can you be a part of this?
36:19
Daniel Moore: Sit next to me, can I get some attention, some affection?
36:24
Daniel Moore: You know that's, that's a close, like an intimacy type thing.
36:28
Daniel Moore: You know, wrapping your arm.
36:29
Daniel Moore: What happens when I wrap my arm around you?
36:30
Daniel Moore: How does that make you feel?
36:32
Daniel Moore: Well, I'm like I'm sitting in church and I put my arm up around you, pull you in close.
36:37
Daniel Moore: I mean, that's an intimacy moment If I'm just sitting next to you and just for no reason.
36:47
Daniel Moore: I reach out and just kind of touch your arm for a second.
36:49
Daniel Moore: You reach over and hold my hand.
36:50
Daniel Moore: I mean, what all does that?
36:51
Daniel Moore: What does that make you feel as a woman?
36:54
Michelle Moore: Well, when you put your arm around me and you know, or just touch my hand or hold my hand, you know, it just makes me feel that you want me close and that you know you want not only just that, you want affection, but you are paying attention to something that I truly want as well yeah, and it makes you feel closer, yeah, you know, and just kind of bridges those gaps sometimes where we feel so.
37:16
Daniel Moore: So, guys, just this is just some examples.
37:19
Daniel Moore: You know, there's just hundreds of those moments every day that happens, that we overlook.
37:24
Daniel Moore: And I guess this is just a bid to be more wary, you know, to be more observant in your relationship and try to latch on to those moments when you, you know, have a moment that you can interact with each other in a special kind of way that you normally don't do that, and that builds that love inside of you, that builds that trust between the two of you and it makes that intimacy level, you know, rise considerably.
37:50
Daniel Moore: When it comes to emotional connection cues, like we've been talking about, it's not about how deep the conversation goes or how fascinating the topic is to you personally or how romantic the moment feels.
38:10
Daniel Moore: What matters most is how you respond when your partner reaches out with a small moment of vulnerability, excitement or interest.
38:18
Daniel Moore: You have three choices you can turn toward them, you can turn away or you can turn against.
38:24
Daniel Moore: So let's shift the scenario.
38:26
Daniel Moore: Imagine your wife points out a cozy little bakery while you're walking downtown and says with excitement oh, that place has the best pastries I was going to say cupcakes.
38:36
Daniel Moore: Cupcakes, yeah, well, yeah, my wife loves cupcakes, so that's a good example.
38:39
Daniel Moore: Well, that place has the best cupcakes.
38:42
Daniel Moore: Well, I have three possible responses.
38:45
Daniel Moore: I can turn away which.
38:48
Daniel Moore: I just keep walking without acknowledging her, distracted by my phone or my own thoughts.
38:53
Daniel Moore: I can turn against her.
38:55
Daniel Moore: That's where I snap.
38:56
Daniel Moore: We don't have time for snacks.
38:59
Daniel Moore: Why are you always focused on food?
39:01
Daniel Moore: Good grief, I'd punch you.
39:02
Daniel Moore: Or I can turn toward.
39:04
Daniel Moore: I can smile and say really, what do they have that you like?
39:09
Daniel Moore: Maybe we can stop by after lunch.
39:10
Daniel Moore: Ding, ding, ding, that's the winner.
39:14
Michelle Moore: That's right.
39:16
Daniel Moore: It's not about loving bakeries or craving a croissant or a cupcake, because I can tell you I'm not much of a cake or cupcake person, like she is.
39:25
Daniel Moore: She simply wants you to show a flicker of interest in something that lights her up, and in that small exchange, even just a few seconds, you've chosen connection.
39:33
Daniel Moore: In relationships, these brief moments become the glue that binds you closer together.
39:38
Daniel Moore: Author Ellie LaSista explains the powerful messages that you send your spouse when you respond to her bid for connection.
39:46
Daniel Moore: I'm interested in you, you matter to me, I see you trying to connect, I'm open to you, I'm listening, I want to understand you.
39:57
Daniel Moore: We're on the same team.
39:59
Daniel Moore: I'd like to help you, whether if I can or not.
40:02
Daniel Moore: I'd like to be with you, whether if I can or not, and I accept you even if I don't accept all of your behavior.
40:11
Daniel Moore: Sadly, many of the small attempts that we make to connect with our spouse throughout the day go ignored.
40:16
Daniel Moore: It could be something as simple as reaching out for a hand to hold on a walk or asking, asking a question, only to be met with silence while the other person is still scrolling on their phone.
40:26
Daniel Moore: Though often unintentional, this actually does send a message it says I'm not really interested in connecting with you right now.
40:35
Daniel Moore: And when this becomes a pattern, the damage grows.
40:38
Daniel Moore: If your spouse continually reaches out and those little bids go unanswered, they may eventually stop trying altogether.
40:46
Daniel Moore: Over time, that silence breeds disconnection and loneliness within the marriage.
40:51
Daniel Moore: That's why learning to recognize these bids for connection and, more importantly, to respond in even small affirming ways can begin to change everything.
41:00
Daniel Moore: It's not a fix-all solution, but it's a powerful step toward moving away from that distant roommate like dynamic and back into emotional closeness.
41:08
Daniel Moore: And I think that I can see where, if somebody constantly was reaching out, that the longer that they would reach out and be responded to with silence, that a desperation would take place to where they finally would probably just shut down.
41:25
Daniel Moore: Yeah, I mean, why do you keep trying if somebody's not going to ever recognize it?
41:29
Daniel Moore: You know if they're just going to keep blowing it off.
41:31
Daniel Moore: And that's why it's so important.
41:33
Daniel Moore: And that's what's crazy, because you know when you first dated all that stuff mattered yeah.
41:39
Daniel Moore: You did all that kind of thing and I think that's why it's so destructive, because to the aware spouse, the one that's trying to get this interaction and understands the importance of it, they probably remember well this.
41:53
Daniel Moore: We used to do this all the time, you know was wrong.
41:54
Daniel Moore: Why are all of a sudden, when I reach out to you, you no longer want to respond to me?
41:59
Daniel Moore: You know is it me and you know.
42:01
Daniel Moore: Then they start taking the blame game towards themselves and making themselves be the reason for it, when it's not probably not that and there is a root issue going on there that needs fixed.
42:11
Daniel Moore: But you definitely don't want to get to that point where you allow that to happen.
42:16
Daniel Moore: So there's another story here that, as an example, I'm going to have you share that with us as we close today.
42:27
Michelle Moore: Take Jamie and Claire, for instance.
42:29
Michelle Moore: After a long evening of shuttling their kids around to piano lessons and basketball practice, they both landed in the living room Jamie with his laptop and Claire reviewing lesson plans for the school week.
42:43
Michelle Moore: Claire glances up and asks do you remember the name of the volcano that buried Pompeii?
42:48
Michelle Moore: To Jamie that might seem like a trivia question out of the left field, but underneath it, claire is making a bid for attention.
42:56
Michelle Moore: It's not about Mount Vesuvius.
43:01
Michelle Moore: Thank you.
43:01
Michelle Moore: It's about wanting to share a moment, even if only for a few seconds, even if Jamie doesn't remember or care about Roman history simply pausing and replying with I think it starts with a V, but I'm not sure let's Claire know she's been heard.
43:17
Michelle Moore: That tiny moment gives them a flicker of connection in an otherwise scattered evening.
43:20
Michelle Moore: Flicker of connection in an otherwise scattered evening.
43:23
Michelle Moore: And just in case you're wondering, the answer is Vesuvius.
43:34
Michelle Moore: We know life is packed.
43:34
Michelle Moore: You can't respond to every knowing glance or playful comment when your hands are wrist deep in dishwater or you're wrangling the toddler out of the refrigerator.
43:39
Michelle Moore: But you can catch some of them.
43:41
Michelle Moore: When your spouse sends a little spark your way, a wink, a comment, a brush on the shoulder, you can often return the connection in just a moment.
43:50
Michelle Moore: A simple love you too or a small smile might be all it takes.
43:55
Michelle Moore: And if you miss it, that's okay.
43:57
Michelle Moore: Watch for the next chance or, better yet, send one of your own.
44:01
Michelle Moore: If your spouse winked at you while the spaghetti boiled over and you couldn't respond, catch up later with a playful tap or a warm smile.
44:10
Michelle Moore: Chances are they'll appreciate the effort more than you know.
44:14
Michelle Moore: This isn't meant to make you feel guilty, as you have failed some invincible connection quota.
44:19
Michelle Moore: It's about changing how you see ordinary interactions.
44:23
Michelle Moore: A comment about a car, a shared laugh from a meme, a question about your day these everyday things are more than background noise.
44:32
Michelle Moore: They're opportunities to invite your spouses into closeness.
44:36
Michelle Moore: It's these small everyday choices that really shape a marriage.
44:42
Michelle Moore: You may need to make space by setting better boundaries or dialing back on your commitments, and those conversations are worth having, but for now, the priority is recognizing the little chances to connect when they cross your path.
44:57
Michelle Moore: You won't capture every single one, but grabbing a few more of them on purpose can begin to close the emotional gap and breathe new life into your relationship.
45:07
Michelle Moore: Maximizing your connection bids is simple, practical and powerful, and it can become one of the most effective ways to push back against busyness and move closer to partnership you really want.
45:20
Daniel Moore: And, as you were reading that and talking about those little small things that you can do, it reminds me of something that you do quite often, and I'll be sitting there, whether if it's in church or if we're downstairs in the living room or wherever it may be.
45:34
Daniel Moore: One thing that you like to do is sometimes you'll catch my eyes and you'll wink.
45:39
Daniel Moore: I don't know what to do when you do that.
45:42
Daniel Moore: I'm just like do I wink back?
45:45
Daniel Moore: Is she like getting ready to ask me something for something you know, or what's going on in her head right now?
45:51
Daniel Moore: But no, that's a perfect connection moment, what we're talking about here, and you know I'm thankful for those moments that you and I have between each other, because there was a time we didn't have those.
46:09
Daniel Moore: There was a time that all of those stopped, and they stopped because we failed to communicate, just like we've talked here today.
46:17
Daniel Moore: We left our communication to just talking about the kids and the schedules and, you know, got to be here, got to be there, all the logistics of being married.
46:27
Daniel Moore: And if we forgot about me and you talking about the kids and the schedules, and you know, got to be here, got to be there, all the logistics of being married and if we forgot about me and you and we totally left us out of the equation.
46:35
Daniel Moore: And I'm so thankful that you know all the the marriage conferences that we've been to and the things that we've done to correct the problems and the issues that we've created in our marriages, because we're the ones that did it.
46:46
Daniel Moore: We both had our issues that we both have taken the blame for some of the stuff that's happened and where it ended up at, but I'm also thankful just so thankful that we can both take the blame for fixing it, because we both came to a realization that we were failing in something that was very important to us and we decided we need to do whatever it took, and I'm so thankful that we did that.
47:11
Daniel Moore: So is there anything that you'd like to add to this one as we get ready to close this one up for this episode?
47:19
Michelle Moore: Well, let's talk.
47:20
Michelle Moore: I think the last episode we talked about the Silver Stallion.
47:24
Michelle Moore: I think the last episode we talked about the Silver Stallion.
47:28
Michelle Moore: So I was trying to think of something that we can give to our listeners something that's new, something about us.
47:38
Michelle Moore: This month was Dan's birthday, but I don't know when this is going out, so he had a birthday.
47:44
Daniel Moore: Actually August was my birthday.
47:46
Michelle Moore: Yes.
47:46
Daniel Moore: Yeah, this is probably going to be at.
47:47
Daniel Moore: The had a birthday Actually, August was my birthday.
47:49
Michelle Moore: Yes, yeah, this is probably going to be at the end of September.
47:50
Michelle Moore: Oh, I have no idea.
47:50
Daniel Moore: We're recording ahead here, yeah.
47:52
Michelle Moore: We're actually going to North Carolina to see our new grandbaby.
48:01
Daniel Moore: And we will have been there by the time I think you hear this, or we will be there, we don't know Whenever this lands.
48:03
Michelle Moore: And then our granddaughter started her first day of kindergarten.
48:08
Daniel Moore: Mm-hmm, our little special needs, granddaughter, yes.
48:12
Michelle Moore: And she got lost on the bus today.
48:15
Daniel Moore: Yes, got on the wrong bus and we had to go get her.
48:19
Michelle Moore: Two hours later.
48:20
Daniel Moore: Yes.
48:21
Michelle Moore: That was an experience that we don't want to happen again.
48:24
Michelle Moore: But I just honestly, I, I am so thankful for these little micro moments yes I I mean honestly, guys, that's the reason why I was crying earlier, because I don't know that.
48:39
Michelle Moore: I mean, I know you guys know our story, but to see where we were to where we're at today, it just my heart literally just it's just exploding with just like thankfulness that God has brought us so far and that we're both willing, we're like sponges, we're both willing to do whatever it is.
49:01
Michelle Moore: I mean, when someone gives us advice, we take that in and we try to practice it.
49:06
Michelle Moore: And you know, and we we watch elder, really elder couples with relationships, you know, and you know, have kind of have like mentors and stuff like that.
49:17
Michelle Moore: But we are so, so thankful, not only just, and we're thankful that you guys give us this opportunity to pour into you and let God just use it.
49:27
Daniel Moore: We want your marriage to be like this.
49:29
Daniel Moore: This is what God intended for it to be.
49:32
Michelle Moore: Yeah.
49:32
Daniel Moore: And if anything that we could ever say in any of these episodes, even if it's just a one liner, I'm just thankful for the opportunity to be able to be able to share that.
49:41
Daniel Moore: You know, michelle and I are just.
49:43
Daniel Moore: Our hearts are with marriages and we just pray that you know, as we go through these episodes and through this series, that if you're in a wrecked marriage right now, we hope that this makes a huge difference in your relationship.
49:56
Michelle Moore: And we always learn.
49:57
Michelle Moore: Every time I'm in this I'm like, oh, that's good, I need to tuck that one in.
50:02
Daniel Moore: Yeah, there's a lot to unpack, that's for sure.
50:05
Daniel Moore: Well, we're going to go ahead and close this one, and this is going to be ending episode three on busyness.
50:13
Daniel Moore: And as author Jenna Janitis puts it, a kiss, touch or phrase tenderly reminds us of the love that we have for each other.
50:22
Daniel Moore: It makes time stand still and let you forget about everything else for a moment.
50:28
Daniel Moore: Even though it may be simple, the loving gesture speaks volumes.
50:32
Daniel Moore: The time spent and all the little things that you give each other, that's what's priceless.
50:38
Daniel Moore: So our takeaway from this episode is roommates don't have time for each other.
50:44
Daniel Moore: Soulmates use simple everyday moments to stay connected.
50:50
Daniel Moore: Well, that's going to wrap up this week's episode.
50:52
Daniel Moore: We'll be back next week with another episode here of our series on Marriage Reset, and we pray that after this episode here, that your marriage is stronger and your walk with God is closer.
51:04
Daniel Moore: This is an extension of Connecting the Gap Ministries and we pray that you have a blessed week.