Latest / Do You F*cking Mind? / 413. The Life Reinvention Expert: 5 Small Shifts for Big Change with Robin Sharma

Transcript

413. The Life Reinvention Expert: 5 Small Shifts for Big Change with Robin Sharma · Do You F*cking Mind?

0:10
Speaker 1: Okay, welcome everyone, Welcome to the episode of Today. I
0:15
Speaker 1: have a guest on today's episode. His name is Robin Sharma.
0:18
Speaker 1: I am a huge, huge fan.
0:21
Speaker 2: Of his work.
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Speaker 1: You have heard me talk about the book The Five
0:25
Speaker 1: Am Club I don't know how many times, brilliant book.
0:28
Speaker 1: He's also the author of The Monk Who Sold his Ferrari,
0:31
Speaker 1: among many other books He's written, like over ten books.
0:35
Speaker 1: This talk that I have with Robin is such an
0:38
Speaker 1: eye opener.
0:39
Speaker 2: Not only is it such a great talk, he gives
0:43
Speaker 2: you so.
0:43
Speaker 1: Many tips and tools that you can take away things
0:46
Speaker 1: to write down.
0:47
Speaker 2: So Shaniah and I have actually put.
0:49
Speaker 1: Together just like a really basic worksheet that you can
0:52
Speaker 1: go and access from the website just to work off
0:59
Speaker 1: everything that we discuss in this episode. I thought it'd
1:01
Speaker 1: be a really cool thing. But having said that, if
1:03
Speaker 1: you haven't read any of Robin Schamer's.
1:05
Speaker 2: Books, please please please go check them out.
1:09
Speaker 1: It helps you become someone who's more accountable. If you're thinking,
1:12
Speaker 1: am I a morning person? You will see how much
1:15
Speaker 1: you can milk out of your day. If you become
1:17
Speaker 1: a morning person, if that's your jam, you don't have
1:20
Speaker 1: to no judgment.
1:22
Speaker 2: You learned to.
1:23
Speaker 1: He talks about different kinds of wealth and it gives you,
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Speaker 1: like a really strong perspective and what kind of wealth
1:28
Speaker 1: you need to focus on in your life and ideally
1:31
Speaker 1: like focusing on all the eight different kinds. There is
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Speaker 1: so much in this episode. I could do ten other
1:37
Speaker 1: episodes with him easily.
1:39
Speaker 2: Phenomenal.
1:39
Speaker 1: I had the best time recording this episode. I hope
1:41
Speaker 1: you enjoy it. Sit down with a pen and paper
1:46
Speaker 1: and just consume as much information as you can from
1:49
Speaker 1: this episode. You may even need to listen to it
1:51
Speaker 1: twice because he is just Everything he says is gold.
1:53
Speaker 1: So enjoy, sit back, relax and go download the worksheet
1:58
Speaker 1: on the website if you want to work through stuff that.
2:00
Speaker 1: My website is www dot dfmpod dot com and you
2:06
Speaker 1: can access the sheet there.
2:08
Speaker 2: That is all. Enjoy the episode.
2:10
Speaker 1: So, Robin, thank you so much for coming on. They
2:12
Speaker 1: do your fucking mind podcast. I know my listeners will
2:15
Speaker 1: be thrilled because I've banged on about your book, The
2:17
Speaker 1: Five Am Club I don't know how many times, So
2:20
Speaker 1: thank you.
2:21
Speaker 3: A pleasure to be with you. Thank you very much.
2:24
Speaker 1: So I'm just going to dive straight in with some questions.
2:26
Speaker 1: The first one that I wanted to talk about, and
2:28
Speaker 1: if you could kind of delve a little bit deeper
2:31
Speaker 1: into it, was that you actually used to be a
2:34
Speaker 1: litigation lawyer and you left that career. Was that around
2:37
Speaker 1: the time you wrote your second book The Monk has
2:40
Speaker 1: sold his Ferrari. I think based on what I was
2:44
Speaker 1: doing my research, and I just want to know, like,
2:46
Speaker 1: what was it that or the moment or the realization
2:48
Speaker 1: that made you walk away from that, leave that career
2:52
Speaker 1: to kind of follow something that was more meaningful to you.
2:56
Speaker 3: You know, all exis I believe that instinct is so
2:59
Speaker 3: much more powerful than intellect, and intellect is basically, in
3:04
Speaker 3: many ways the beliefs that the world or society or
3:07
Speaker 3: our culture have taught us to believe to find truth
3:11
Speaker 3: and success and fulfillment. But our instinct is our inner
3:15
Speaker 3: voice of wisdom. And so I was successful as a lawyer,
3:18
Speaker 3: and I had nice things, and I lived in a
3:20
Speaker 3: nice home, but there was something very empty inside of me.
3:24
Speaker 3: And there wasn't just one moment where I said this
3:27
Speaker 3: is it. I'm going to make the shift. It was
3:29
Speaker 3: almost like transformation through a thousand cuts. But I was
3:33
Speaker 3: just there was something inside of me saying this is
3:36
Speaker 3: not right. In the five Am Club that you mentioned,
3:39
Speaker 3: there's a model called joy is a GPS, and I
3:43
Speaker 3: think that's a powerful idea. I think if we follow
3:46
Speaker 3: our joy, we're going to get to where we're going
3:48
Speaker 3: to need to be. And I wasn't joyful as a lawyer,
3:51
Speaker 3: and I just started following this call to write a
3:54
Speaker 3: book and to share this message that I've been sharing
3:57
Speaker 3: for thirty three years now.
4:00
Speaker 2: That's incredible.
4:01
Speaker 1: So I feel like, going off that question, I think
4:05
Speaker 1: a lot of my listeners love the idea of that,
4:08
Speaker 1: but they're kind of stuck in what following their joy is.
4:12
Speaker 1: There's many many people that write into me that have
4:15
Speaker 1: done their degree, they've done all their studies, and then
4:18
Speaker 1: they find themselves in this career. It's almost like that
4:20
Speaker 1: sunk cost fallacy. They've invested all this.
4:22
Speaker 2: Time and energy and money into this kind of.
4:25
Speaker 1: Lifestyle and they're like, I'm not happy, but I don't
4:28
Speaker 1: know where I want to go from here. What would
4:31
Speaker 1: you what would you recommend would be the first step
4:33
Speaker 1: if someone finds themselves in that position.
4:35
Speaker 3: I think that's an excellent question, and I think my
4:38
Speaker 3: answer would be hedged risk taking or calculated risk taking,
4:44
Speaker 3: so we all have expenses and we have obligations and responsibilities. Look,
4:51
Speaker 3: some people will say, I'm going to leave my life
4:53
Speaker 3: right now and I'm going to go to the Himalays
4:55
Speaker 3: and be a monk. Other people are going to say,
4:56
Speaker 3: you know what, this relationship is toxic for me and
5:00
Speaker 3: I'm going to leave it today. Other people are going
5:04
Speaker 3: to say, well, maybe I'm going to take more of
5:06
Speaker 3: a hedged risk taking approach. And I personally think that's
5:10
Speaker 3: a good way to do it. You know, stay in
5:11
Speaker 3: your current life, but start to explore your new life
5:15
Speaker 3: and in your free time, maybe start the app or
5:18
Speaker 3: launch the business. Yeah, I just say take it step
5:23
Speaker 3: by step, and.
5:25
Speaker 2: Do you think that it's going to be something?
5:28
Speaker 1: Do you think that someone needs a burning desire in
5:30
Speaker 1: order to change or for them to find change. Maybe
5:33
Speaker 1: it's just because one of the things I suggest to
5:36
Speaker 1: my listeners is, you know, sometimes you just need to
5:39
Speaker 1: start exploring, try a few things. You don't have to
5:42
Speaker 1: adore something, because if you're so stuck in your old ways,
5:45
Speaker 1: it's sometimes find hard to find like a big passion
5:49
Speaker 1: discovering something new.
5:52
Speaker 3: You know. One of my favorite brain tattoos is all
5:55
Speaker 3: change is hard at first, messy in the middle, and
5:57
Speaker 3: gorgeous at the end. So change is hard, and as
6:01
Speaker 3: human beings we do resist change. But no, I don't
6:04
Speaker 3: think you have to have a burning desire to make
6:08
Speaker 3: a change. Sometimes we just want to make small optimizations.
6:11
Speaker 3: Could be in our morning routine. It could be in
6:13
Speaker 3: our communication, could be in our financial life, could be
6:16
Speaker 3: in our spiritual life, and those are absolutely great. And
6:19
Speaker 3: for others, I mean, look at the world we're in
6:21
Speaker 3: right now. It's a time I would say cataclysmic change.
6:26
Speaker 3: And I've never seen so many people on the personal
6:29
Speaker 3: growth band wagon. And a lot of people are making
6:33
Speaker 3: massive changes. They're leaving countries, they're leaving jobs, they're leaving relationships.
6:39
Speaker 3: And I think the great thing about being a human
6:42
Speaker 3: being is you get to have the agency and the
6:46
Speaker 3: choice to do what's right for you. And I don't
6:49
Speaker 3: think anyone other than you can make the choice of
6:53
Speaker 3: how much change is good for you. I think one
6:56
Speaker 3: thing I would say, though, is one of the greatest
7:00
Speaker 3: regrets when we get to the last hour of our
7:02
Speaker 3: last day, is that we didn't make the changes we
7:05
Speaker 3: wanted to make to become our of ourselves and to
7:08
Speaker 3: honor our ethical ambitions, and so I would encourage people
7:13
Speaker 3: like change is extraordinarily uncomfortable. But you've heard this a
7:19
Speaker 3: million times. I believe it's true. But you know, getting
7:21
Speaker 3: good at being uncomfortable. And I think we need to
7:25
Speaker 3: stop looking for happiness all the time and look for
7:29
Speaker 3: growth instead, and I think we'll be much happier as
7:32
Speaker 3: a result.
7:33
Speaker 1: I love that you said that because I always talk
7:35
Speaker 1: about I talk about my three pillars of happiness, which
7:38
Speaker 1: is growth, connection, and purpose, and.
7:40
Speaker 2: There's a lot of things that we do.
7:42
Speaker 1: I think it's not about loving every moment of your
7:45
Speaker 1: life in order to be happy.
7:47
Speaker 2: It's kind of finding that right balance as well.
7:50
Speaker 1: But I also like that you said when you get
7:52
Speaker 1: to the end of your life, because I always think
7:54
Speaker 1: about the deathbed test of you know, would I regret
7:57
Speaker 1: not having done this at the end of my life,
7:59
Speaker 1: And that often answers the question for me. When I'm
8:02
Speaker 1: in like a fifty to fifty decision, I'd.
8:05
Speaker 3: Say, KDC, keep death close. It's one of my favorite
8:09
Speaker 3: new acronyms. And you know, just remembering the shortness of life.
8:14
Speaker 3: I don't think as a depressing thing. I think it's
8:17
Speaker 3: an inspiring thing. Yeah, because then then we live to
8:20
Speaker 3: the point. You know, if if we go through a
8:24
Speaker 3: process of regularly, I mean I have a morning It's
8:30
Speaker 3: called the five question morning maximizer. It's a morning practice
8:35
Speaker 3: and there's five questions. And the first question is what
8:38
Speaker 3: am I grateful for? All we know about the signs
8:41
Speaker 3: of gratitude, it's the antidote to fear. Second question is
8:44
Speaker 3: where am I winning? So you write down your micro wins,
8:47
Speaker 3: which is as you know, one of the features of
8:50
Speaker 3: the human brain is the negativity bias. So asking yourself
8:53
Speaker 3: where am I winning? Focuses your brain on what's hopeful
8:56
Speaker 3: and where you're making progress. Third question of the five
8:59
Speaker 3: questions warning maximizer is what will I let go of today?
9:04
Speaker 3: One of the master skills of human growth and personal
9:07
Speaker 3: leadership is letting go, letting go of disappointment, letting go
9:12
Speaker 3: of what didn't work out, letting go of being hurt,
9:14
Speaker 3: letting go of resentment, letting go of jealousy. Fourth question,
9:18
Speaker 3: what does my ideal day ahead look like? So we
9:21
Speaker 3: have a one or two paragraph script about our ideal
9:25
Speaker 3: day because clarity breeds mastery. And then the fifth question,
9:29
Speaker 3: this gets to the KDC point, keep death close what
9:32
Speaker 3: needs to be set at the end, So every morning
9:35
Speaker 3: while the rest of the world is asleep. Let's say
9:37
Speaker 3: you're a member of the five Am Club. You're writing
9:40
Speaker 3: about what needs to be said when you're no longer here.
9:43
Speaker 3: That gives you such intimacy and clarity over how you
9:48
Speaker 3: want to live your life versus spending a year, two
9:51
Speaker 3: years chasing the wrong mountain.
9:53
Speaker 2: This is so great. I'm going to start doing that.
9:55
Speaker 2: I love that because I am a member of the
9:57
Speaker 2: five Am Club.
9:58
Speaker 1: You'll be happy to know writ it's five thirty and
10:01
Speaker 1: now it's five, which I'm very happy about.
10:04
Speaker 2: But okay, so you.
10:05
Speaker 1: Talk a lot about mastering your morning's in the five
10:08
Speaker 1: Am Club. If anyone's listening, well, I mean everyone's listening.
10:11
Speaker 2: But read the book. It's such a great book. But
10:14
Speaker 2: why is it that thank you that you're welcome? I
10:17
Speaker 2: love it.
10:18
Speaker 1: Why do you believe that the way we start our
10:21
Speaker 1: day is so impactful on the rest of our day
10:24
Speaker 1: and the rest of our lives.
10:26
Speaker 3: Well, the first thing I want to say is if
10:28
Speaker 3: someone's a night owl and they love it, fantastic, Yet
10:34
Speaker 3: if you're not open to a new routine, you might
10:37
Speaker 3: just miss your best routine. So I would encourage people
10:41
Speaker 3: to say, you know, I'm a night out. I respect
10:43
Speaker 3: that absolutely fine, but test the five am club method.
10:47
Speaker 3: In the book, I talked about the twenty twenty twenty
10:49
Speaker 3: formula that's helped millions and millions of people become more
10:53
Speaker 3: creative and productive, happy, et cetera. So I believe that
10:58
Speaker 3: the way you start your day sets the tone for
11:01
Speaker 3: the day. And a lot of us get up a
11:04
Speaker 3: little later and we watch the news, and we check
11:06
Speaker 3: our email, and we chase the day by getting up
11:10
Speaker 3: at five am. First of all, there's incredible quiet in
11:13
Speaker 3: the air when you get up at five am. There's
11:16
Speaker 3: so much stillness, you know, And don't pick up your phone.
11:20
Speaker 3: Just go through your morning routine. And what I talk
11:23
Speaker 3: about in the book is a whole proto call. But
11:27
Speaker 3: some of the things I talk about, like you know,
11:29
Speaker 3: the journal prompts and the meditation and the exercise and
11:34
Speaker 3: the growth, those things in the victory hour from five
11:37
Speaker 3: o'clock to six o'clock revolutionize your neurobiology and they help
11:42
Speaker 3: you become more grateful and more grounded and more more clear.
11:47
Speaker 3: And then you start your day on a completely different note.
11:51
Speaker 3: And University of College London has a great piece of
11:54
Speaker 3: research and they found that it takes sixty six days
11:57
Speaker 3: to wire in a new habit. So anyone who says,
11:59
Speaker 3: you know, I'm just not a mourning person, I would say,
12:03
Speaker 3: you know, we all have a human gift. And I
12:04
Speaker 3: think this is a very powerful idea. We all have
12:06
Speaker 3: a human gift that's the gift of neuroplasticity, which is
12:10
Speaker 3: a brain that adapts, that can adapt to new experiences.
12:15
Speaker 3: So we all have the ability to change, but most
12:17
Speaker 3: of us don't stay with our change process, whether it's
12:21
Speaker 3: getting up early, saving more money, being kinder to people,
12:24
Speaker 3: doing better work, being more loving. We don't stay with
12:27
Speaker 3: it long enough, which is roughly six weeks of practice
12:32
Speaker 3: for the new skill to reach a point that researchers
12:36
Speaker 3: call automaticity, where which is where it becomes easier to
12:40
Speaker 3: get up a five am or do the new skill
12:42
Speaker 3: than not do the new skill.
12:44
Speaker 2: Yeah. I love that.
12:45
Speaker 1: And it's true when people say I always say, watch
12:48
Speaker 1: out what you identify with, because sometimes you're identifying with
12:51
Speaker 1: things that aren't helpful. I'm not a morning person. I
12:54
Speaker 1: can't ever stick to a routine. I can't this, I
12:56
Speaker 1: can't that.
12:57
Speaker 2: But you haven't really given yourself the chance.
12:59
Speaker 1: It's like saying I can't lift weights because you've never
13:01
Speaker 1: walked into a gym.
13:02
Speaker 2: It doesn't mean you're not capable of doing it. It's
13:04
Speaker 2: that kind of idea.
13:07
Speaker 3: It's so true. Our self identity becomes a self fulfilling prophecy.
13:13
Speaker 3: And if I could repeat that again, because I think
13:16
Speaker 3: it might be really valuable for your viewers and listeners.
13:19
Speaker 3: Our self identity becomes a self fulfilling prophecy. There's a
13:23
Speaker 3: lot of very good positive psychology that says our daily
13:27
Speaker 3: behavior reflects our deepest beliefs. And so if we say,
13:31
Speaker 3: you know, I'm not the kind of person who can
13:33
Speaker 3: run a marathon, then we're not going to take the
13:36
Speaker 3: first step. If we say I'm not the kind of
13:41
Speaker 3: person who can launch a startup that'll change the world,
13:45
Speaker 3: we're not going to go register the URL. If we
13:50
Speaker 3: say I'm I'm not the kind of person who can
13:52
Speaker 3: have a loving home life because my home life in
13:54
Speaker 3: the past has been toxic and dramatic, we're not going
13:58
Speaker 3: to take the first step to talk to the person
14:00
Speaker 3: who's attractive to us in the avocado section of the
14:03
Speaker 3: grocery store. So we need to look at. And that's
14:07
Speaker 3: why personal growth is it so incredibly powerful because once
14:11
Speaker 3: we reshape the way we see ourselves and we hardwire
14:14
Speaker 3: in new programs and then we work on the emotional architecture,
14:19
Speaker 3: we fundamentally become different people who can do different things.
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Speaker 1: Yeah, that's what I bang on about the most out
14:26
Speaker 1: of anything else, and.
14:26
Speaker 2: I just love how you talk about it and how
14:28
Speaker 2: you frame it.
14:30
Speaker 1: Now, one thing that I want to talk about with
14:31
Speaker 1: habits in the morning and retain some rituals. Is there
14:35
Speaker 1: one particular habit or maybe a couple that you think
14:38
Speaker 1: that people underestimate and because they underestimate it, they don't
14:42
Speaker 1: do it enough, or they don't do it at all.
14:45
Speaker 3: Brilliant question. I would say, first of all, one of
14:48
Speaker 3: my practices is MVP meditation, visualization and prayer. And I
14:56
Speaker 3: think what's underestimated is the power of prayer. And if
14:59
Speaker 3: you don't believe you're not religious, then call it scientific
15:02
Speaker 3: prayer because there's a lot of science on the power
15:05
Speaker 3: of prayer, what it does for reduce inflammation, increases positivity.
15:11
Speaker 3: So I would say prayer and you and I can
15:15
Speaker 3: share how I pray if that would be helpful, just
15:17
Speaker 3: to be tactical. So you know what I do is
15:20
Speaker 3: I go through forty five minutes of MVP. The meditation
15:24
Speaker 3: could be breath work, it could be just focusing on
15:27
Speaker 3: my body where there might be emotional blocks, or focusing
15:31
Speaker 3: on a mantra. That could be the meditation part of MVP.
15:34
Speaker 3: Then I go to visualization. I visualize my project, my
15:38
Speaker 3: projects and the impact I want to have in the
15:40
Speaker 3: life I want to lead and the person I want
15:43
Speaker 3: to be. So I visualize it, I inhabit it, maybe
15:45
Speaker 3: for fifteen or twenty minutes in this process each morning.
15:49
Speaker 3: Then I get to prayer. I pray for my parents.
15:51
Speaker 3: My father is eighty eight, my mom is eighty five.
15:55
Speaker 3: She just landed in London this morning and I'm going
15:58
Speaker 3: to go meet her. We're going to spend a few
16:00
Speaker 3: days together. Then I pray for my partner El and
16:05
Speaker 3: my kids, and I pray for my larger family. And
16:10
Speaker 3: then I pray for my little doggie, Hawley, who is
16:12
Speaker 3: a six pound Chorky who thinks she's a lion or
16:15
Speaker 3: a you know, she thinks she owns the world. And
16:19
Speaker 3: then and then then I pray for my team. I
16:23
Speaker 3: have an incredible team and I'm just blessed to work
16:25
Speaker 3: with them. Then I pray for my CRFs, my clients,
16:28
Speaker 3: my readers, and my followers. These are the people who
16:32
Speaker 3: these Alexis, These are the people who put food on
16:34
Speaker 3: my family table. And it's very easy as you become
16:37
Speaker 3: more successful to forget about the people who keep you
16:40
Speaker 3: in business. And so every morning I pray for my clients.
16:45
Speaker 3: I have amazing clients. I pray for my readers from
16:49
Speaker 3: around the world who've read my books for so many years.
16:52
Speaker 3: I pray for my followers. Then I pray for my neighbors.
16:55
Speaker 3: That I pray for the people in my country, and
16:57
Speaker 3: then I pray for a better world, and then I
17:00
Speaker 3: pray for a better universe. So that's what my prayer
17:02
Speaker 3: looks like. And that would be one of the most
17:04
Speaker 3: underestimated I believe practices. The second would be the power
17:08
Speaker 3: of for fifteen minute nature walk every morning, not an
17:11
Speaker 3: hour if you can an hour a grade, but fifteen
17:14
Speaker 3: minutes where you go into the woods or you go
17:16
Speaker 3: into a park and you savor and you're present and
17:20
Speaker 3: you don't check your phone, and you smell the lilies,
17:23
Speaker 3: and you look at the sky and you get some
17:26
Speaker 3: sunshine and you put your feet on the grass. What
17:29
Speaker 3: a great way to start your creative and productive way. Yeah,
17:32
Speaker 3: I love that.
17:33
Speaker 1: I love that both of those things, but that I
17:36
Speaker 1: find that for me the mornings that if I can
17:39
Speaker 1: start work a little bit later and I'm getting outside,
17:42
Speaker 1: I'm lucky enough to live right next to these botanical gardens,
17:45
Speaker 1: so I'll go there and I don't need my headphones.
17:48
Speaker 2: It's one of those times where.
17:49
Speaker 1: You don't even crave a podcast, music, nothing, and you
17:52
Speaker 1: can just be there and it changes my day. It
17:56
Speaker 1: actually transforms how my day goes. I'm on my phone less,
17:59
Speaker 1: I'm a lot more focused. I'm just lighter, unhappier. And
18:03
Speaker 1: I don't know if it's a combination of having that
18:05
Speaker 1: silent time or if it's being in nature both.
18:09
Speaker 2: I don't know, but it's insane.
18:12
Speaker 3: Well, genius loves solitude and we want the rewards of
18:17
Speaker 3: world class, but a lot of us are not willing
18:19
Speaker 3: to structure our lives to avoid to do what it
18:23
Speaker 3: takes to create world class. And I think you can
18:26
Speaker 3: change the world or play with your phone. You can't
18:29
Speaker 3: do both. I think it's really powerful in this world
18:32
Speaker 3: we live in this age of dramatic distraction where so
18:34
Speaker 3: many people suffer from broken focus syndrome, to be quiet,
18:40
Speaker 3: to read, to write in a journal, even when you're working,
18:44
Speaker 3: to create a metaphorical creative cottage of sorts where you
18:48
Speaker 3: don't have notifications, and you can go into what Mihai
18:52
Speaker 3: chicksent me high a University of Chicago called flow state,
18:55
Speaker 3: which is the realm of our genius. We all have
18:58
Speaker 3: genius inside of us, but it requires stillness, and it
19:02
Speaker 3: requires a creative environment where we can actually focus and
19:07
Speaker 3: think and not be distracted.
19:16
Speaker 1: Can you go a little bit further into that genius
19:19
Speaker 1: inside us, because I know you've mentioned that before and
19:22
Speaker 1: in your books as well. What do you think is
19:25
Speaker 1: the biggest block from people accessing that?
19:30
Speaker 3: Well, I think there's a bunch. I think there's a bunch.
19:33
Speaker 3: I think a lot of us don't believe in ourselves.
19:37
Speaker 3: A lot of us have been taught to play small,
19:40
Speaker 3: a lot of us have experienced micro or macro trauma,
19:45
Speaker 3: and so we think that the people who live great lives,
19:48
Speaker 3: whether it's people who lead nations or launch businesses or
19:52
Speaker 3: forge movements, are somehow different, and that's not true. We
19:55
Speaker 3: all can do amazing things, and it's amazing what happens
19:58
Speaker 3: when we just start so, I think number A lot
20:00
Speaker 3: of us don't believe we can live our genius. The
20:04
Speaker 3: second thing is a lot of us are busy being busy,
20:07
Speaker 3: and we're so caught up in our busyness that we think, well,
20:11
Speaker 3: we come up with rationalizations that we think are true. Well, no, no,
20:15
Speaker 3: I'm busy because there's so much on my plate. I
20:18
Speaker 3: can't join the five am club because of this. I
20:21
Speaker 3: can't launch a business, or find true love, or get
20:23
Speaker 3: more fit, or make more money because of these reasons.
20:26
Speaker 3: And it's that old idea. If we recite our excuses
20:29
Speaker 3: long enough, we actually believe that our excuses are true.
20:34
Speaker 3: I think one of the third things why we don't
20:37
Speaker 3: live our genius is where we forget the power of associations.
20:42
Speaker 3: And a lot of us are surrounded by cynics. A
20:46
Speaker 3: lot of us are surrounded by people who are playing victim.
20:49
Speaker 3: A lot of us are surrounded by energy vampires and dreamstealers.
20:52
Speaker 3: And there's some very interesting science Alexis. For example, Nicholas
20:56
Speaker 3: Gerstackus at Harvard University has found that we are influenced
21:01
Speaker 3: not only by our friends, but the friends of our friends.
21:05
Speaker 3: And the friends of our friends as friends. In other words,
21:09
Speaker 3: in other words, were influenced by our first circle of
21:12
Speaker 3: friendships and then the friends circle and the friends of
21:16
Speaker 3: the friends as circle. Yeah. So you know, if you
21:20
Speaker 3: are around eight players, or if you're around loving people,
21:23
Speaker 3: or if you are around I call possibilitarians, you can
21:27
Speaker 3: have a dramatic influence on your behavior and your ability
21:31
Speaker 3: to live.
21:31
Speaker 1: Your genius and influence by their friends as well and
21:34
Speaker 1: their circles.
21:35
Speaker 2: Yeah.
21:36
Speaker 1: So okay, So say I want to start tapping into
21:39
Speaker 1: my genius more. What would you recommend would be like
21:44
Speaker 1: the key changes to make day to day. One of
21:46
Speaker 1: the things that I already do is I don't get
21:48
Speaker 1: on my phone for the first two hours of the day.
21:51
Speaker 1: And it's the best decision I think I've ever made.
21:54
Speaker 1: It's amazing.
21:55
Speaker 2: But yeah, what would you say? Because one thing, I
21:57
Speaker 2: want to write a fourth book.
21:59
Speaker 1: I'm ready, I want to write one, but I want
22:01
Speaker 1: to feel like you know, sometimes when I've written a book,
22:04
Speaker 1: I've felt like I've really been in the zone, and
22:06
Speaker 1: other times it's been just a slog to write it,
22:10
Speaker 1: where I've almost been exactly what you're talking about, just
22:12
Speaker 1: busy for the sake of being busy kind of thing,
22:14
Speaker 1: and then I wasn't really getting into that zone. So
22:17
Speaker 1: what do you think would be if I wanted to write,
22:18
Speaker 1: you know, coming into my fourth book, what would how
22:21
Speaker 1: could I best tap into that?
22:24
Speaker 3: Well, there's a bunch of ways. So my latest book
22:27
Speaker 3: is a book called The Wealth Money Can't Buy, and
22:30
Speaker 3: it's based on this model I've been teaching for twenty years,
22:34
Speaker 3: the eight forms of Wealth. Our society has trained us
22:37
Speaker 3: to believe that money is the form of wealth. In
22:39
Speaker 3: the book, I share seven other forms of wealth that
22:41
Speaker 3: are very powerful, and I'm happy to go through them.
22:44
Speaker 3: But writing a book, writing book. For example, one of
22:48
Speaker 3: the chapters in The Wealth Money Can't Buy is Find
22:52
Speaker 3: your Personal Golden Eye. And James Bond he found this
22:57
Speaker 3: retreat in Jamaica that he would go to where you
23:00
Speaker 3: get away from the world, and I call it going ghost.
23:03
Speaker 3: And I think it's really important if you have a
23:05
Speaker 3: creative project to go ghost, to get lost, to go dark.
23:10
Speaker 3: And that could be a creative cottage in a seaside place,
23:15
Speaker 3: it could be the stacks in your local library, it
23:19
Speaker 3: could be a free room in your home. But I
23:23
Speaker 3: think it's really important to have some place you can
23:26
Speaker 3: go to that's free of distraction and mess, that might
23:29
Speaker 3: have lots of light coming into it, maybe some flowers
23:33
Speaker 3: or something, but a place you can go to where
23:35
Speaker 3: you do your finest work. When I write, I go away.
23:40
Speaker 3: I can't get great work done at home. I need
23:44
Speaker 3: to go to a new country. I need to go
23:46
Speaker 3: to a new country. I love going to the winelands
23:49
Speaker 3: of South Africa. When I wrote the five Am Club. There,
23:52
Speaker 3: I wrote the Wealth Money camp Fire. There, I get
23:55
Speaker 3: away from the world and I pretty much go dark
23:58
Speaker 3: and I'm not checking my phone, and I have a
24:00
Speaker 3: great morning routine where I walk and I have my
24:03
Speaker 3: coffee and then I sit down. And there's another method
24:06
Speaker 3: I have called the five great hours rule. If I
24:08
Speaker 3: can get five great hours of world class work done,
24:11
Speaker 3: that's a great writing day for me, or a great
24:13
Speaker 3: creative day. So from let's say eight o'clock to one
24:17
Speaker 3: o'clock or two o'clock, two o'clock, that's what I try
24:20
Speaker 3: to do. And then I go mountain biking or take
24:22
Speaker 3: the rest of the day off, and I read and
24:25
Speaker 3: then the next day I start again. So the finding
24:28
Speaker 3: your personal GoldenEye, I think is a great way for
24:31
Speaker 3: us to live our geniuses. I think again, doing a list.
24:35
Speaker 3: This is what I do with clients, and they found
24:37
Speaker 3: it very helpful. You take out a piece of paper
24:40
Speaker 3: and you do a list, and there's two columns, and
24:42
Speaker 3: in the left handside column you say, who are the
24:45
Speaker 3: people that upgrade my joy or fuel my joy? Find
24:49
Speaker 3: five of them. Those are the people you want to
24:51
Speaker 3: get closer to. And then you write down a list
24:53
Speaker 3: the five people that steal my joy, and those are
24:55
Speaker 3: the people you want to systematically remove from your life.
24:59
Speaker 3: And then a lot of people say right. And then
25:00
Speaker 3: a lot of people say, well, Robin, it's my mother,
25:02
Speaker 3: or it's my brother, or it's my best friend. I
25:05
Speaker 3: would say, love them from afar, or practice selective association
25:10
Speaker 3: rather than chatting with them every day, chat with them
25:13
Speaker 3: once a week or every month. But those are two ideas.
25:16
Speaker 3: And then I think the third thing is put down
25:19
Speaker 3: your phone less social media scrolling. And I'm a huge
25:23
Speaker 3: fan of something as simple as reading, you know, reading
25:27
Speaker 3: hard books, reading challenging books, reading books about the great
25:31
Speaker 3: women and men who have graced the planet before us,
25:34
Speaker 3: so we learn how they thought, how they lived, what
25:36
Speaker 3: were their routines, how did they overcome struggle? And the
25:40
Speaker 3: more time we can study, you know, well, there are
25:44
Speaker 3: not so many people anymore who are really really great
25:47
Speaker 3: at what they do, and the marketplace rewards magic rendered,
25:54
Speaker 3: and the more magic we can push into the marketplace
25:56
Speaker 3: through value to the people who are concerned humors, the
26:01
Speaker 3: more we will stand out and build a global base
26:06
Speaker 3: of fanatical followers who come to us for what we do.
26:11
Speaker 2: Yeah, I love that. That's your inspired. I've got like
26:15
Speaker 2: all these ideas running through my head.
26:17
Speaker 3: Great, a great?
26:18
Speaker 1: Can we talk about We don't have to go through
26:21
Speaker 1: all the points, but I'd love to talk about the
26:22
Speaker 1: different forms of wealth because I think that's really really
26:25
Speaker 1: important to cover because we do get caught up in
26:28
Speaker 1: you know, the you know, financial wealth, which is of
26:31
Speaker 1: course important, but let's go into the other forms.
26:36
Speaker 3: Sure, So just a little bit of quick context. I've
26:39
Speaker 3: been mentoring professional superstars, billionaires, many of the world's most
26:45
Speaker 3: successful people for well over twenty five years, and a
26:49
Speaker 3: lot of these people have a lot of money but
26:51
Speaker 3: not much else. And so I created this model of
26:57
Speaker 3: the eight forms of wealth to provide a youied description
27:02
Speaker 3: of wealth, fortune, and success. And so the first one
27:07
Speaker 3: is growth if you are someone who is on a
27:09
Speaker 3: not enlightened but if you are on a path of
27:12
Speaker 3: growth and learning what I call the four interior empires.
27:16
Speaker 3: Everyone talks about mindset, but I also believe in heart set,
27:19
Speaker 3: which is your emotional life, health set, which is your
27:22
Speaker 3: physical life, and soul set, which is your spiritual life.
27:26
Speaker 3: I think there are four dimensions to work on, not
27:29
Speaker 3: just mindset, because mindset is just your psychology. Human beings
27:32
Speaker 3: have more other dimensions. But if you are working on
27:36
Speaker 3: yourself and becoming the highest version of your greatest vision
27:40
Speaker 3: and releasing jealousy and scarcity and insecurity, you're rich.
27:46
Speaker 2: Yeah.
27:47
Speaker 3: I think it's a form of riches. Second form of
27:50
Speaker 3: wealth is wellness. And so you know someone that's came
27:55
Speaker 3: to me at one of my live events and headed
27:57
Speaker 3: me a piece of paper, and on the piece of
27:59
Speaker 3: paper it said help. There's the crown on the well
28:01
Speaker 3: person's head that only the old person can see. And
28:05
Speaker 3: so if you have energy, and if you have vitality,
28:08
Speaker 3: and if you have longevity, you are very rich. Indeed,
28:13
Speaker 3: third form of wealth that I go very deep into
28:16
Speaker 3: in the wealth. Money can't buy his family. And so
28:20
Speaker 3: if you have family and friends, and human connections you have.
28:25
Speaker 3: I mean, I live in Italy and they love family.
28:28
Speaker 3: There's just such a love of family and friendships and
28:31
Speaker 3: long three hour meals eating pasta with good wine as
28:35
Speaker 3: the sun sets. I mean that brings more joy than
28:40
Speaker 3: you know some of the people who have billions of dollars,
28:43
Speaker 3: oh yeah, but are incredibly empty and disconnected from other people.
28:49
Speaker 3: Fourth form of wealth is craft. So if you are
28:53
Speaker 3: doing work and on the path of mastery, think about
28:56
Speaker 3: the fulfillment that provides being incredibly great at what you
28:59
Speaker 3: do and pushing magic and value into the marketplace. Fifth
29:02
Speaker 3: form of wealth is money. We need money, put food
29:05
Speaker 3: on the family table, to find freedom to do amazing
29:08
Speaker 3: things for ourselves and our family. Nothing wrong with that.
29:11
Speaker 3: Sixth form of wealth is community, which is your social network,
29:16
Speaker 3: being around people whose lives you want to be living.
29:18
Speaker 3: Seventh is adventure. Never lose the sparkle in your eyes,
29:23
Speaker 3: never lose the playful heart, never lose the ability, never
29:27
Speaker 3: lose the ability to be a bit of a pirate,
29:30
Speaker 3: so you don't follow the herd and join the status quo.
29:34
Speaker 3: And then the eighth form of wealth in the wealth
29:36
Speaker 3: money camp by the people around the world, have really
29:40
Speaker 3: resonated within this world we live in is service. And
29:45
Speaker 3: if you are, whether you're a street sweeper, whether you
29:48
Speaker 3: are a barista, whether you are an uber driver, whether
29:52
Speaker 3: you're a podcaster like yourself helping so many people around
29:55
Speaker 3: the world. If you are making a difference in other
29:59
Speaker 3: people's lives, then I think there's a form of wealth
30:03
Speaker 3: that you're that you have that it's maybe you're not
30:06
Speaker 3: acknowledging that is in some in some ways priceless. Yeah.
30:12
Speaker 1: Yeah, I find that for me, if I'm ever feeling
30:16
Speaker 1: you know, a bit flat or down or whatever, if
30:17
Speaker 1: I can be useful to someone else, that will instantly
30:21
Speaker 1: change how I feel about myself.
30:22
Speaker 2: It's almost like, yes.
30:24
Speaker 1: It's helpful to someone else, but then it's also for
30:26
Speaker 1: selfish purposes.
30:27
Speaker 2: It's really helpful for me as well.
30:29
Speaker 1: And it's almost like, even with purpose, I find that
30:34
Speaker 1: you almost always have to link how can my purpose
30:37
Speaker 1: even if it's I'm impacting one person, it doesn't matter,
30:40
Speaker 1: it doesn't have to be this huge thing. But how
30:41
Speaker 1: can I link it to feeling like I'm contributing or
30:44
Speaker 1: I'm useful to something or someone or nature, animals or something.
30:50
Speaker 3: It's such a simple exactly. It's such a simple idea,
30:53
Speaker 3: and a lot of us we don't see the purpose
30:56
Speaker 3: in our jobs, but it's often there, you know, Often
30:59
Speaker 3: it's right in front of We're looking for a purpose
31:01
Speaker 3: and meaning in the Himalayas or in some book or
31:05
Speaker 3: in you know, but it can be right there if
31:07
Speaker 3: you you know, if you're a gardener, focusing on the
31:11
Speaker 3: beauty you're bringing to the community, it is so incredibly powerful.
31:16
Speaker 3: Alexis My life changed a number of years ago when
31:18
Speaker 3: I went to Robin Island. And I won't share the
31:22
Speaker 3: whole story of the whole experience, but there was a
31:26
Speaker 3: guide to who I met, who showed me around Robin Island,
31:30
Speaker 3: and I said, you, did you know Nelson Mandela, one
31:32
Speaker 3: of the heroes in my life. And he said yeah,
31:35
Speaker 3: I served with him for seven years and I said,
31:39
Speaker 3: I said yeah. I said, you know what was he like?
31:42
Speaker 3: And he told me a bit about Nelson Mandela, and
31:45
Speaker 3: then he shared this phrase, he said, oh, that man
31:49
Speaker 3: was a humble servant. And that concept of being a
31:54
Speaker 3: humble servant, to me, it's very powerful because if we
31:59
Speaker 3: can be useful, we can be helpful, if we can
32:03
Speaker 3: through our days just leave people better than we found them.
32:07
Speaker 3: That is one of the forms of wealth that I
32:10
Speaker 3: think we often ignore, but it can bring us incredible
32:13
Speaker 3: joy and incredible meaning in our lives.
32:15
Speaker 1: It does, It does, I think is one of the
32:17
Speaker 1: main It's to me, one of the most fulfilling things.
32:21
Speaker 1: It's how you can end your day even if you know,
32:24
Speaker 1: even if you haven't ticked off your to do list,
32:26
Speaker 1: even if you haven't done much. That to me, if
32:28
Speaker 1: I can do that, I feel fulfilled at the end
32:30
Speaker 1: of the day.
32:32
Speaker 3: Sure, you know. There was a there was a doorman
32:37
Speaker 3: at a hotel in Barcelona that I love to go to,
32:40
Speaker 3: and one day we had a great conversation and I
32:43
Speaker 3: said to me, you know, if you he's always so positive,
32:46
Speaker 3: he's always so friendly, he's always he's the eternal optimist.
32:49
Speaker 3: I said, have you ever thought about the fact that
32:51
Speaker 3: every day you talk to one hundred or two hundred people,
32:53
Speaker 3: and in one year that's about you know, five or
32:56
Speaker 3: ten thousand people, and after ten years that's about one
32:59
Speaker 3: hundred or two hundred people. If you do it doing
33:01
Speaker 3: your whole life, that's probably a million or two million people.
33:04
Speaker 3: And he looked at me and like, and you know,
33:06
Speaker 3: there were tears in his eyes. Yeah, and we forget,
33:10
Speaker 3: you know. I often I'll go into a coffee shop.
33:14
Speaker 3: I love my morning coffee, and sometimes some baristas are
33:18
Speaker 3: are maybe they're they're they're having a bad day, but
33:21
Speaker 3: some of them are checked out in this world where
33:23
Speaker 3: a lot of people are just in the trance yeah
33:26
Speaker 3: and off. And then some of them are just so
33:29
Speaker 3: present and they're so caring and they're so positive, and
33:32
Speaker 3: you know, and I often think, you know, if that
33:36
Speaker 3: person is doing that for one hundred or two hundred
33:39
Speaker 3: people every day, and they're doing each year with consistency,
33:43
Speaker 3: because consistency is the mother of mastery. And I've got
33:46
Speaker 3: this new program out by the way, the Deep Magic
33:48
Speaker 3: of Daily Consistency that we can talk about. But I
33:52
Speaker 3: think consistency is incredibly important. And if someone's being consistently
33:57
Speaker 3: kind and positive and excellent and inspirational, you're right. You
34:02
Speaker 3: get to the last hour of for your last day,
34:04
Speaker 3: and even if you've had difficulty, you can say I've
34:06
Speaker 3: lived a great life. I really helped a lot of people.
34:09
Speaker 3: And I think there's been research on the altruism genes.
34:13
Speaker 3: You know, I think we have an instinct to help
34:16
Speaker 3: people and when we do, there's probably serotonin and dopamine
34:20
Speaker 3: and oxytocin and all these neurochemicals that make us feel good.
34:25
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, one hundred percent.
34:28
Speaker 1: Well can we talk about can we talk about that
34:30
Speaker 1: about consistency? About sure, because I'm huge on that. I
34:35
Speaker 1: talk about that from like a neurological perspective, from a
34:37
Speaker 1: neuroscience perspective, but I want to I want to hear
34:40
Speaker 1: you frame it, because you frame everything so well.
34:43
Speaker 3: Well, if I may, I'd love to hear how you
34:46
Speaker 3: would describe consistency from a neurological point of view, like
34:51
Speaker 3: that's it's fascinating to me.
34:53
Speaker 1: So the way I talk about consistency and habits in general.
34:57
Speaker 1: But when when you're doing something repeatedly within tension, you
35:01
Speaker 1: allow the way I say it is you allow your
35:04
Speaker 1: conscious mind to outsource that task to your subconscious mind
35:08
Speaker 1: because the subconscious mind will just do what you've done
35:13
Speaker 1: enough of, right, So if that's negative self talk, you'll say, okay, yep,
35:16
Speaker 1: you do that often enough, I'll do it for you automatically,
35:19
Speaker 1: no problem. You know where if it's something that it's
35:21
Speaker 1: practiced and intentional, then even though you can still make
35:25
Speaker 1: it intentional your subconscious mind is more likely to that's
35:27
Speaker 1: going to be the default.
35:29
Speaker 2: That's how it switches.
35:30
Speaker 1: So I always look at it as when something's repeated enough,
35:33
Speaker 1: that's what becomes part of your default mode network within
35:36
Speaker 1: the brain.
35:37
Speaker 2: That's where your subconscious mind kind of takes over.
35:39
Speaker 1: That's when you're not doing a focused task and you're
35:41
Speaker 1: relaxed and whatever's going on in the background, that's what's
35:44
Speaker 1: going to influence that mind.
35:48
Speaker 3: Yeah, very good, that's very good. That's a very good
35:50
Speaker 3: way to look at it. What I would say from
35:53
Speaker 3: a for consistency is I would go back to neuroplasticity,
35:59
Speaker 3: and you know, there was this old idea that the
36:02
Speaker 3: brain is fixed and now we're realizing it's more plastic
36:06
Speaker 3: than ever before. And I would say it's almost like
36:11
Speaker 3: I call it the mountain meadow metaphor, and it's almost
36:15
Speaker 3: like we're in a mountain meadow and let's say we're
36:16
Speaker 3: starting the five am club. Let's say we're starting being
36:20
Speaker 3: more optimistic and we want to be more consistent around that. Well,
36:24
Speaker 3: the first day, or the first few days or the
36:27
Speaker 3: first few weeks, you're walking through the mountain meadow. It's
36:29
Speaker 3: all grass, and that's like in your brain right, the
36:33
Speaker 3: new neural network has not been hardwired. You're used to
36:38
Speaker 3: your old ways, your old habits. But if you keep
36:41
Speaker 3: on practicing each day with consistency, because consistency is the
36:45
Speaker 3: mother of mastery, and what you do every day is
36:48
Speaker 3: much more important than what you do once in a year,
36:52
Speaker 3: that mountain meadow becomes a trail because you're walking on it.
36:55
Speaker 3: You're practicing it each day. And let's say again, it's
36:57
Speaker 3: the five am club. This is me in the mountain meadow,
37:00
Speaker 3: by the way, just in case you wonder what I'm
37:02
Speaker 3: doing with my with my with my hands. And you
37:05
Speaker 3: keep on doing it every day, and the trail becomes
37:07
Speaker 3: a road, and we all have this ability, we all
37:10
Speaker 3: have this power, we all have this human gift of neuroplasticity,
37:14
Speaker 3: no matter what we say to ourselves. And if you
37:17
Speaker 3: keep on doing it, Alexis, the road becomes a highway.
37:21
Speaker 3: And if you keep on practicing it over weeks and
37:23
Speaker 3: months and maybe even years, it becomes a super highway.
37:27
Speaker 3: And then neuro scientists will tell you, myelin, the fatty
37:31
Speaker 3: tissue starts to wrap around it. And that's why because
37:34
Speaker 3: of all the practice of a Kobe Bryant, or a
37:36
Speaker 3: Roger Vederer or Serena Williams, they could, or a Wayne
37:40
Speaker 3: Gretzky who said, I see I can see where the
37:42
Speaker 3: puck is What did he say, I see where the
37:44
Speaker 3: puck will be, not where the puck is going, or
37:46
Speaker 3: something like that. But that was his ability. His sixth
37:50
Speaker 3: sense was not born a natural genius, but daily practice.
37:56
Speaker 3: What you were saying.
37:57
Speaker 1: Before that path and the highway and the super high way,
38:00
Speaker 1: it's it's exactly what happens in the brain though. You know,
38:04
Speaker 1: this whole concept of cells that fire together, wire together,
38:06
Speaker 1: in this long term plasticity, you start with, you know,
38:09
Speaker 1: one thin connection, and that's why it feels like so
38:12
Speaker 1: much effort because for the brain to access.
38:15
Speaker 2: That, oh my god, it's it's difficult. So then people
38:18
Speaker 2: do it once and think, oh, that's too hard. I'm
38:20
Speaker 2: not doing that again. But like you.
38:21
Speaker 1: Said, the more you do it, the more you get
38:24
Speaker 1: the same more of the cells going down that same path,
38:27
Speaker 1: same path. Then you, like you said with the mylin,
38:29
Speaker 1: it's actually thicker pathways physically within the brain.
38:34
Speaker 2: So it's exactly you're right.
38:36
Speaker 1: It is a highway and what once seems like insurmountable
38:40
Speaker 1: effort becomes second nature, and it is because of repetition.
38:45
Speaker 3: And you know, I must go back to the brain
38:48
Speaker 3: tattoo that I love to share, which is all change
38:51
Speaker 3: is hard at first, messy in the middle, gorgeous at
38:53
Speaker 3: the end. We try to install a new habit and
38:58
Speaker 3: we say it's hard, and then we say I'm not
39:01
Speaker 3: the kind of person who can do this, and we
39:04
Speaker 3: wave the white towel of surrender without realizing that because
39:07
Speaker 3: it's hard, it's good change. Change is meant to be
39:12
Speaker 3: hard at first. Everything that we now find easy, we
39:16
Speaker 3: once found hard. I'm learning Italian right now. It's hard
39:20
Speaker 3: at first, and it's messy in the middle because I'm
39:22
Speaker 3: renovating the neurobiological house and right, and so we hit that,
39:28
Speaker 3: and the ego starts screaming because the old habit or
39:31
Speaker 3: the old pattern, the old program, or the old life
39:34
Speaker 3: is dying. But for us to become our best selves,
39:37
Speaker 3: there must be a depth of our past selves. And
39:40
Speaker 3: so you know, I have this model that I just
39:43
Speaker 3: taught to a client right here, but you know I can.
39:47
Speaker 3: I hadn't planned to do this, but it's it's you know,
39:50
Speaker 3: I don't know if you can see that, but like
39:52
Speaker 3: it's it's a series of micro deaths and rebirths. And
39:58
Speaker 3: you know you're starting a business, there's to be a
40:00
Speaker 3: birth and then a micro death once it reaches a
40:04
Speaker 3: certain level if you want it to grow, and then
40:07
Speaker 3: a birth and human being again. It's like if you're
40:09
Speaker 3: on a path of growth and personal mastery and happiness,
40:13
Speaker 3: there's part of you must die at certain points for
40:18
Speaker 3: better parts of us to emerge. You know, I love
40:21
Speaker 3: walking in the woods, and there used to be some
40:24
Speaker 3: woods I used to walk in in Canada and I
40:28
Speaker 3: used to walk in there almost every day at the
40:29
Speaker 3: end of my workday, and there was a sign i'd
40:32
Speaker 3: walk by and it said, from time to time, parts
40:37
Speaker 3: of natural disasters or natural experience will happen in this
40:44
Speaker 3: forest like fires, windstorms, and insects that will decimate parts
40:51
Speaker 3: of the woods. These natural phenomenon are not to destroy
40:58
Speaker 3: the forest, but to allow the future growth of the forest.
41:04
Speaker 2: Yeah.
41:05
Speaker 3: So, I you know, a bad day for the ego
41:08
Speaker 3: is a great day for the soul. Sometimes we go
41:11
Speaker 3: through really hard times or not so hard times, but
41:15
Speaker 3: they do come to tear parts of us down that
41:18
Speaker 3: must be let go so better parts of us emerge,
41:22
Speaker 3: and that happens to us as human beings. It happens
41:25
Speaker 3: to us anyone who's a leader in business, and it
41:28
Speaker 3: happens to us in the world.
41:30
Speaker 1: It's so true because if you look at and I
41:32
Speaker 1: think anyone can relate, if I look at all the
41:34
Speaker 1: you know, the hard times or the times that I
41:35
Speaker 1: would have avoided happening and then they actually ended up
41:38
Speaker 1: happening and it was horrible. Those times are the reason
41:43
Speaker 1: that I was able to grow or change, or that
41:45
Speaker 1: I found a path that made me so much happier
41:47
Speaker 1: in the end. Or you know, like you said, you're
41:49
Speaker 1: shedding an old skin in a way, and in hindsight
41:53
Speaker 1: it wasn't fun, but I would never change it ever.
41:59
Speaker 3: Pain is pain is pain is life's greatest purifier. And
42:04
Speaker 3: so we we go kicking and screaming towards our greatest lives.
42:10
Speaker 3: And when we are, you know, I've faced a lot
42:12
Speaker 3: of adversity, and in it you just want to rush
42:15
Speaker 3: out of it. But those are the richest times of
42:18
Speaker 3: our life. And I know you you you believe this,
42:23
Speaker 3: or I believe you do you know, when do we
42:25
Speaker 3: forge wisdom? When do we become more humble. When do
42:29
Speaker 3: we become more loving, When do we become more creative
42:32
Speaker 3: and stop copying the crowd and start to bang our
42:36
Speaker 3: own drumming and sing our own song. It's when we
42:41
Speaker 3: are close, when we're in hardship, and we say, you know, oh,
42:47
Speaker 3: this is where we realize the truth and wisdom, and
42:50
Speaker 3: it is what teaches us stronger. I'll paraphrase Albert Camu
42:55
Speaker 3: because his quote is so beautiful that he said, you know,
42:59
Speaker 3: in the midst of and in the midst of a
43:01
Speaker 3: difficult winter, I found within me an invincible summer. And so,
43:08
Speaker 3: you know, life is seasons. We have hardship, we have
43:10
Speaker 3: great times, and society has trained us to run away
43:14
Speaker 3: from the hard times versus seeing them as the richest
43:17
Speaker 3: times of our growth.
43:19
Speaker 1: Yeah. I feel like we have to be tested throughout
43:22
Speaker 1: our life again and again and again.
43:24
Speaker 2: And yeah.
43:26
Speaker 1: It's I feel like the more you face it and
43:29
Speaker 1: something not so great happens, whether it's big or small,
43:32
Speaker 1: the easier it is to face it again. I think
43:34
Speaker 1: I was talking to someone recently and they were saying
43:37
Speaker 1: they had gone through a lot of adversity in their life,
43:39
Speaker 1: and they said, you know what, when I talk to
43:41
Speaker 1: groups of people, and I public speak, the people that
43:43
Speaker 1: find it hardest to change actually the ones that have
43:46
Speaker 1: never faced adversity. It's not the ones that have come
43:48
Speaker 1: across a thousand roadblocks, because for her, she had come
43:52
Speaker 1: across so much, and she was saying that now a
43:55
Speaker 1: facing adversity or the worst case scenario happening doesn't really
43:58
Speaker 1: scare her that much anymore, Like, all right, this is
44:00
Speaker 1: the next this is the next rebirth, the next growth,
44:04
Speaker 1: the next stage I have to take. But for people
44:06
Speaker 1: who are saying, you know what, I've never had adversity,
44:08
Speaker 1: how do I quit my job and move to the
44:10
Speaker 1: other side, they just never take that jump because there's
44:12
Speaker 1: so much fear.
44:13
Speaker 2: So it's almost saying, you know, you almost have to.
44:17
Speaker 1: I don't want to say expect, but almost factor in
44:20
Speaker 1: a percentage of things not going right and that being
44:23
Speaker 1: part of your journey in order to feel like it's
44:26
Speaker 1: just part of the process, not something that's gone wrong
44:29
Speaker 1: or something that should have never happened.
44:31
Speaker 3: I would say it's part of the process. And I
44:34
Speaker 3: actually actually would say adversity is a symptom of success.
44:38
Speaker 3: And what I mean by that is, you know, any
44:41
Speaker 3: great investor will tell you, the greater the risk you're
44:44
Speaker 3: going to take, the greater the opportunity for a reward.
44:49
Speaker 3: So an investor who says, I'm I'm going to invest
44:52
Speaker 3: in a small startup, they have huge potential. I'm going
44:56
Speaker 3: to put one hundred thousand or two hundred thousand into it,
44:58
Speaker 3: but I could make tens of millions of dollars. That's
45:02
Speaker 3: what some investors do. They understand that. And if I
45:05
Speaker 3: invest in blue chip equities, for example, then there's not
45:08
Speaker 3: much as much of an opportunity for gain. But I
45:11
Speaker 3: think life is like that as well. You know, it's
45:16
Speaker 3: when you live your life out on the skin Dad
45:19
Speaker 3: used to say, you know, when you live your life
45:22
Speaker 3: out on the skinny branch, there's more risk, but that's
45:24
Speaker 3: where all the fruit is. And so what I would
45:27
Speaker 3: say is, if you are less risk averse and you
45:33
Speaker 3: take more risks, whether it's going to the new place,
45:35
Speaker 3: talking to the new person, reading the dangerous book that
45:39
Speaker 3: disrupts your worldview, starting the new business, there's going to
45:47
Speaker 3: be more risk, which means there's more chance of failure.
45:50
Speaker 3: But if there's more chance of failure, that means you're
45:53
Speaker 3: living your life full on. It means you're living a brave, courageous,
45:58
Speaker 3: dangerous life, and I think that's the greatest life. Definitely,
46:02
Speaker 3: you know that's the greatest life. You're going to get bloodied,
46:06
Speaker 3: you're going to get hurt, You're you're going to be confused.
46:09
Speaker 3: You know. I think confusion has a bad rap right now.
46:13
Speaker 3: I think God, I think if you're if you're experiencing life,
46:17
Speaker 3: you're going to be confused. And you know it's easy,
46:21
Speaker 3: you know some I think if you're a thinker, you're
46:24
Speaker 3: going to be confused, and that's good. I think it's
46:26
Speaker 3: the people who just accept everything and follow the crowd
46:30
Speaker 3: and never look at their own beliefs and read the
46:33
Speaker 3: books that everyone else is reading and think the same thoughts.
46:36
Speaker 3: They're never confused. But I think if you if you're
46:39
Speaker 3: always growing and you're taking risks, you're going to be
46:42
Speaker 3: confused a lot, and you're going to make a lot
46:44
Speaker 3: of mistakes, and your neighbors are going to go, wow,
46:47
Speaker 3: you know what's wrong with you? And I want to say,
46:50
Speaker 3: there's everything right for you. You're living a rich, dangerous, courageous,
46:56
Speaker 3: brave life and you might not have an easy life,
47:00
Speaker 3: but I think you'll get to the end and say
47:02
Speaker 3: I really lived.
47:03
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I love that because I think I love
47:06
Speaker 1: what you just said because I think that a lot
47:08
Speaker 1: of people get stuck on this need for certainty in
47:11
Speaker 1: every area of their life, but without you know, if
47:14
Speaker 1: you do have certainty, then it cuts out exploration, it
47:17
Speaker 1: cuts out curiosity.
47:19
Speaker 3: I think, you know, we we've you know, yeah, we we've.
47:24
Speaker 3: We've become a world of conformists versus a world of originals.
47:31
Speaker 3: And I think when we were born, you know, I
47:34
Speaker 3: believe we're born into genius and when and then too
47:37
Speaker 3: many good souls get resigned into mediocrity. And I think
47:40
Speaker 3: that's because you know, it goes back to the hero's
47:43
Speaker 3: journey that was in Star Wars and the Matrix movie,
47:47
Speaker 3: and but it's all the same journey, and Joseph Campbell
47:51
Speaker 3: talked about it, and you know, we're born into curiosity
47:55
Speaker 3: when we're kids. We were we're originals and we dream
47:59
Speaker 3: and we're possibilitarians. But then then there are these forces
48:05
Speaker 3: that teach us how to think. And very few people,
48:08
Speaker 3: you know, wake up at thirty five or forty five
48:10
Speaker 3: or fifty five and start to say which which beliefs
48:13
Speaker 3: are true to me? And which beliefs have I adopted
48:16
Speaker 3: from society that are not true to me? And I
48:20
Speaker 3: think one of the greatest dangers in life is living
48:22
Speaker 3: your neighbor's life versus your own true life.
48:24
Speaker 2: That's so true. That's so true. Can I ask you
48:28
Speaker 2: a question, if you.
48:31
Speaker 1: Is there anything that you would given that you've You know,
48:33
Speaker 1: you have such a rich life, and you have done
48:35
Speaker 1: all these things, and you've experienced adversity, and you've lived
48:37
Speaker 1: in different parts of the world. Is there any advice
48:40
Speaker 1: you would give to your younger self or can you
48:41
Speaker 1: look back and say, I'm pretty happy with the journey
48:45
Speaker 1: that I've had.
48:45
Speaker 2: I don't need to advise my younger self on anything.
48:49
Speaker 3: Well, in the past, I used to say I have
48:52
Speaker 3: no regrets because every failure led to the benefit that
48:57
Speaker 3: we talked about, you know, the benefits we talked about.
49:00
Speaker 3: But recently I I do have some regrets, and I
49:03
Speaker 3: do wish I'd taken maybe some greater risks. I've taken
49:08
Speaker 3: a lot of risks in my life, but in some areas,
49:13
Speaker 3: maybe I could have taken greater risks. Having said that,
49:17
Speaker 3: you know, like a few years ago, I made a
49:19
Speaker 3: major move to a whole new country, you know, L
49:23
Speaker 3: and I and our dog, we just moved. My kids
49:25
Speaker 3: are adults, so we just moved.
49:29
Speaker 2: By the way.
49:30
Speaker 3: Yeah, you know, it was like it was a massive
49:32
Speaker 3: It was a massive move, you know. And I'm learning
49:35
Speaker 3: a new language and totally new culture and I live
49:40
Speaker 3: in this this old farmhouse and it turned out to
49:43
Speaker 3: be a really great move for us. But I think
49:46
Speaker 3: I think, you know, yeah, one of the regrets I
49:49
Speaker 3: wish I had taken even more risks. But you know,
49:53
Speaker 3: I'm I'm I'm a happy person, and I want to
49:56
Speaker 3: be clear. You know, you say, I have a great life,
49:59
Speaker 3: and I feel very grateful, but not every day is perfect.
50:03
Speaker 3: And I just I just say that because it's very
50:06
Speaker 3: easy for people to watch a podcast and there are
50:10
Speaker 3: guests who are on there and it might look like
50:12
Speaker 3: every every day is perfect. And I don't think any
50:15
Speaker 3: human life is perfect. We have great days, we have
50:18
Speaker 3: difficult days, we have confusions, we have hopes and dreams,
50:23
Speaker 3: and I think that's what makes life interesting.
50:26
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's so true. I love that.
50:29
Speaker 1: And I also like that because I look at the
50:31
Speaker 1: you know, the journey that you've had in the you know,
50:33
Speaker 1: the life that you are living. And I also like
50:36
Speaker 1: that you can still look back and say, oh, no,
50:37
Speaker 1: I wish I took even more risks.
50:38
Speaker 2: I think a lot of people are like, wow, you know,
50:40
Speaker 2: you've done so much. This is really cool. So I
50:42
Speaker 2: think that's cool to you know.
50:44
Speaker 1: I think there's that that nice balance between it's it's
50:49
Speaker 1: good to kind of want more while still feeling fulfilled.
50:52
Speaker 2: It's not about not feeling like you're enough.
50:54
Speaker 1: It's almost you know, the desire for more adventure or
50:58
Speaker 1: the diet, you know, finding that balance between wanting more
51:02
Speaker 1: but feeling like you are enough.
51:05
Speaker 3: Yeah, I think the balance that I'm looking for. I
51:09
Speaker 3: go back to the eight forms of wealth and the
51:10
Speaker 3: wealth money can't buy those eight forms of wealth. That's
51:14
Speaker 3: how I measure success. It's not just money. It's that
51:19
Speaker 3: model is so so central to me because it has family,
51:22
Speaker 3: and it has service, and it has adventure, and it
51:25
Speaker 3: has community. And I think all those elements of a
51:28
Speaker 3: truly of a truly rich life. And I think, you know,
51:32
Speaker 3: I think life is pretty short. Just to get a
51:34
Speaker 3: little philosophical, right, like back to that acronym, keep death close.
51:39
Speaker 3: No one knows how long we get to live. And
51:41
Speaker 3: I think human beings were great postponers, and we suffer.
51:45
Speaker 3: We suffer from a psychological phenomenon known as normal normalcy bias. Right,
51:51
Speaker 3: we just think, well, because everything's been okay in the past,
51:54
Speaker 3: you know, things will be okay in the future. And
51:56
Speaker 3: it's a coping mechanism that allows us to survive in
51:58
Speaker 3: a very unstable world. But no one knows what tomorrow brings.
52:04
Speaker 3: I mean, look at the geopolitics of the world we
52:07
Speaker 3: live in right now. I mean, I think this is
52:09
Speaker 3: the most dangerous time and the most uncertain time at
52:12
Speaker 3: least in one hundred years. And yet any entrepreneur will
52:17
Speaker 3: tell you this is the greatest time of opportunity.
52:20
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's true, you know.
52:21
Speaker 3: And I think great leaders emerge, and I think great
52:24
Speaker 3: leaders emerge in the darkness, not in the light. So
52:28
Speaker 3: this is a great time for us to make a
52:31
Speaker 3: difference and to add more value and to be more innovative,
52:33
Speaker 3: and it's a great time to create a wonderful life.
52:37
Speaker 2: I love that.
52:38
Speaker 1: I have one final question. I mean, I actually could
52:41
Speaker 1: have a thousand questions. You're fantastic, but one question, especially
52:46
Speaker 1: for all my listeners, they're kind of in the primarily
52:49
Speaker 1: in their twenties and in their thirties, what do you
52:52
Speaker 1: what would be your biggest advice on something that people
52:55
Speaker 1: could unlearn in this kind of like hustle culture or
52:58
Speaker 1: this you know, glorifying busy culture, and what would you
53:04
Speaker 1: wish that they would focus on instead?
53:06
Speaker 3: Okay, what a brilliant question. In the five am Club,
53:09
Speaker 3: there's that model. The twin cycles of elite performance. Science
53:15
Speaker 3: has shown that the most productive people operate much more
53:21
Speaker 3: like sprinters versus marathoners. And to give credit where it's do,
53:25
Speaker 3: the Energy Project has done some great work on that point.
53:29
Speaker 3: What I'm trying to say is the hustle culture is
53:31
Speaker 3: work longer and harder, and you get more done that
53:34
Speaker 3: comes from the factory age and where if you work
53:38
Speaker 3: longer on the factory line, you'd produce more tires or
53:42
Speaker 3: more goods. We live in a completely different world, and
53:46
Speaker 3: I think if we work too hard and too long,
53:48
Speaker 3: we actually deplete our cognitive bandwidth, and we deplete our energy,
53:55
Speaker 3: and we deplete our joy. And So what I would
53:58
Speaker 3: encourage people in their twenties, thirties, forty five, fifties whatever
54:01
Speaker 3: is to work really really hard. When you work really hard,
54:05
Speaker 3: don't dilly dally, don't play with your phone, don't chit chat.
54:08
Speaker 3: Understand the difference between fake work and real work. Yeah, right,
54:13
Speaker 3: And that gets back to my five grade hours rule.
54:16
Speaker 3: I've got these little clocks, you know, in my workspaces,
54:19
Speaker 3: and what I do is yeah, and I and I
54:22
Speaker 3: literally for five hours, and I have some We didn't
54:25
Speaker 3: get into so many things, but you know, I have
54:27
Speaker 3: a two phone protocol. One is my loaded phone with
54:30
Speaker 3: apps and everything, and one is my spartan phone that
54:32
Speaker 3: I work with. Oh, and then so when you work,
54:36
Speaker 3: really work and don't be distracted. And then when you play,
54:40
Speaker 3: make sure you play, and each day building some time
54:42
Speaker 3: for recovery. Each week, take a day off and call
54:45
Speaker 3: it a digital fast. Each month take time off. So
54:49
Speaker 3: that would be the first thing. Work in seasons or
54:51
Speaker 3: work in rhythms versus in a linear way. And then
54:55
Speaker 3: the second thing I would say is second last thing
54:58
Speaker 3: i'd say is you know Oscar Wilde said be yourself.
55:03
Speaker 3: Everyone else has taken and in this world, alexis right now.
55:10
Speaker 3: I think there are a lot of people who are
55:12
Speaker 3: living social media influencer lives, and people are so worried
55:16
Speaker 3: about getting the selfie, and you know, you see people
55:19
Speaker 3: on streets walking in slow motion with someone taking videos
55:23
Speaker 3: of them, and it's like it's like, sit down, ask yourself,
55:31
Speaker 3: how who are you, what are your values, what do
55:34
Speaker 3: you want to stand for? What is success to you?
55:38
Speaker 3: How do you know? How do you want to live
55:40
Speaker 3: your life? And then each day, step by step, be
55:45
Speaker 3: true to yourself, as simple as that sounds, even if
55:48
Speaker 3: you're an army of one, because I think you know,
55:52
Speaker 3: living your own life is true success, not living a
55:56
Speaker 3: version of success that society sells you. I've worked with
55:59
Speaker 3: so many uber successful people who have everything in the
56:04
Speaker 3: world that should cause them a success, and they feel
56:07
Speaker 3: completely empty because they've betrayed themselves in the process. I mean,
56:12
Speaker 3: I've worked with billionaires who are miserable, and I've had
56:15
Speaker 3: friends who are ski instructors who are the happiest people
56:18
Speaker 3: I've ever met because they're living their truest lives.
56:23
Speaker 2: It's so true, that's so true.
56:24
Speaker 1: It's not a marker financial success is definitely not a
56:27
Speaker 1: marker of happiness at all. Some of the happiest people
56:30
Speaker 1: I know have the you know, a relatively simple life,
56:34
Speaker 1: you know, from the outside at least. Yeah, yeah, thank you, yeah,
56:40
Speaker 1: so true. Thank you so much for your time. I
56:45
Speaker 1: loved this conversation. I could have spoken easily for four
56:48
Speaker 1: hours easily. I'm going to put all the links to
56:52
Speaker 1: your books. I've spoken about your book The Five Am
56:55
Speaker 1: Club at least twenty times on my podcast, but I
56:58
Speaker 1: am going to read your most recent book because that
57:00
Speaker 1: sounds fantastic.
57:03
Speaker 2: And could you just share where people can find you
57:06
Speaker 2: or anything, any resources that you have.
57:10
Speaker 3: Sure? I love Instagram, so I'm all over Instagram. I
57:14
Speaker 3: think it's at Robin Sharma. Last name is Sharma. I
57:18
Speaker 3: have hundreds of YouTube videos, so they can anyone can
57:21
Speaker 3: search me. A lot of value on the YouTube videos.
57:26
Speaker 3: As I mentioned, the latest books of the wealth money
57:28
Speaker 3: can't buy. It's available where great books are sold, and
57:32
Speaker 3: audible and that kind of thing. And then there's this
57:35
Speaker 3: new program, The Deep Magic of Daily Consistency, which I
57:39
Speaker 3: put my heart and soul in anyone who wants to
57:42
Speaker 3: be much more consistent in the things that are important
57:45
Speaker 3: to them, because I think in many ways the golden
57:47
Speaker 3: thread of a great life is consistency. They can listen
57:52
Speaker 3: to that audio program and I think they're going to
57:53
Speaker 3: get some great value from it.
57:55
Speaker 2: Excellent, Thank you so much.
57:57
Speaker 1: You're incredible that was amazing, and yeah, I hope to
58:00
Speaker 1: have you back on the show in the future anytime.
58:04
Speaker 3: And I've really enjoyed this conversation with Lexis, and I
58:07
Speaker 3: appreciate you for all the research you did in the
58:10
Speaker 3: great questions and for all the people that you're inspiring
58:13
Speaker 3: every day, like it's really been a pleasure.
58:15
Speaker 2: Thank you, Thank you so much.