Latest / Juicy Scoop with Heather McDonald / Hilarious Katherine Ryan on Stand Up Comedy, Motherhood & Marriage

Transcript

Hilarious Katherine Ryan on Stand Up Comedy, Motherhood & Marriage · Juicy Scoop with Heather McDonald

• 0:01
  Speaker 1: They think you're done for the day, but they don't
• 0:03
  Speaker 1: know about the drawer. The drawer. Just the one square
• 0:09
  Speaker 1: before bed. Or two, you know. Nobody's watching. You deserve
• 0:16
  Speaker 1: a treat. With eight flavours to choose from, you can
• 0:22
  Speaker 1: choose the flavour you favour with Cadbury Dairy Milk.
• 0:32
  Speaker 2: Heather MacDonald has got the Juicy Scoop.
• 0:38
  Speaker 3: When you're on the road, when you're on the go.
• 0:41
  Speaker 2: Juicy Scoop is the show to know.
• 0:43
  Speaker 3: She talks Hollywood tales for real life, Mr. Saving Serial
• 0:47
  Speaker 3: Data and Serial Sisters. You'll be addicted and addicted fast
• 0:52
  Speaker 3: to the number one tabloid real life podcast.
• 0:55
  Speaker 2: Listen in, listen up. Woo, woo. Heather MacDonald.
• 1:00
  Speaker 4: Juicy Scoop.
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  Speaker 5: Hello and welcome to Juicy Scoop. I'm very excited because
• 1:06
  Speaker 5: I have a world-renowned comedian, female comedian, Katherine Ryan.
• 1:14
  Speaker 6: Welcome to Juicy Scoop.
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  Speaker 2: Hi. Thank you for being such an incredible comedian yourself,
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  Speaker 2: paving the way, being one of the women that I
• 1:23
  Speaker 2: looked up to, and just still smashing it with the
• 1:26
  Speaker 2: tiniest ankles I've ever seen in real life. Thank you.
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  Speaker 5: Um, I have a thing about tiny. I mean, I
• 1:32
  Speaker 5: don't like that they're so tiny.
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  Speaker 6: What?
• 1:34
  Speaker 2: Have you lived in the world? Would you like ankles
• 1:37
  Speaker 2: like this? Like, look, I have. You know how.
• 1:41
  Speaker 5: You always like what someone else's body is? I used
• 1:45
  Speaker 5: to love the way the cartoon of Porky Pig's Girlfriend
• 1:51
  Speaker 5: or one of those pigs, they'd wear heels. Oh, yeah.
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  Speaker 5: I thought that looked the sexiest. It was like a
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  Speaker 5: chunky leg. In a high heel. And I think it's
• 2:00
  Speaker 5: because it's, I don't have that.
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  Speaker 2: You would love me dressed up. That's exactly what I
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  Speaker 2: look like. I'm incredibly ham colored and I've always had
• 2:08
  Speaker 2: like toddler legs my entire life. And I just covet
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  Speaker 2: legs like yours and a complexion like yours. Yeah. We, we,
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  Speaker 2: we should swap bodies. Do a freaky Friday.
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  Speaker 4: God.
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  Speaker 5: Well, For those of you that don't know about you,
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  Speaker 5: you have had numerous specials. You do a lot internationally. Now,
• 2:28
  Speaker 5: do you have three citizenships? Are you Canadian, Irish and English?
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  Speaker 2: Just two. So I will pick you up on world renowned.
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  Speaker 2: I'm like quite famous on one small island. I moved
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  Speaker 2: to the UK 18 years ago and I'm not I'm
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  Speaker 2: not really selling the size of theaters and sometimes arenas
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  Speaker 2: that I can sell in the UK and here. I
• 2:49
  Speaker 2: have a show tomorrow. I think it's like 330, all
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  Speaker 2: this way. Like I traveled, I was delayed as well.
• 2:55
  Speaker 2: And I've done the math or maths as we call
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  Speaker 2: it in England. Yeah. I traveled one hour for every
• 3:02
  Speaker 2: eight people coming tomorrow. So yeah, like I wouldn't say
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  Speaker 2: I'm world renowned, but I love it. And I'm just so.
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  Speaker 5: And I, on the other hand, I've never performed in
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  Speaker 5: England or Australia or, well, I did, we did a
• 3:18
  Speaker 5: little fun Australia thing when I was on Chelsea lately,
• 3:21
  Speaker 5: but yeah. And everyone's like, you should do, you know,
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  Speaker 5: you should do English. You should do Ireland. And I'm
• 3:26
  Speaker 5: open to it. I, but I would be doing it.
• 3:30
  Speaker 5: I think I'd arrange like a whole trip around it.
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  Speaker 5: And I would probably choose a small place because I
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  Speaker 5: wouldn't want the stress being that it'd be like a
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  Speaker 5: first time.
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  Speaker 7: You know?
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  Speaker 2: No, they'd be thrilled to see you. Like when you
• 3:43
  Speaker 2: go out that way, I think in Los Angeles there's
• 3:45
  Speaker 2: access to so much. Yes. But if you went to Australia,
• 3:48
  Speaker 2: especially New Zealand, there are very good comedy audiences there. Okay.
• 3:52
  Speaker 2: In the UK, they'd come to see you. But do
• 3:54
  Speaker 2: you think that motherhood has impeded your ability to tour internationally?
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  Speaker 6: Well, my experience is different.
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  Speaker 5: It's funny because you're here and you have young kids
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  Speaker 5: and you're– Instagram which has over a million followers and
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  Speaker 5: a lot of great stand-up clips you're pregnant in a
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  Speaker 5: lot of it and I literally just said to Brandy
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  Speaker 5: and Julie who are on my show all the time
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  Speaker 5: I'm like the only person that did a stand-up special
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  Speaker 5: where I wasn't pregnant like I feel like you know
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  Speaker 5: Ali Wong Amy Schumer um so many great comedians in
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  Speaker 5: the last like five ten years have, I almost feel
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  Speaker 5: like they're waiting.
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  Speaker 2: To film their special to be pregnant.
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  Speaker 5: Like, cause I like gives you an extra, like, well,
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  Speaker 5: it's an extra audience member, but also it's, you know, and,
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  Speaker 5: and so, no, I kind of went, my, my career
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  Speaker 5: was a little back, little backwards in that I was
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  Speaker 5: doing standup. I sold some shows, but I wasn't like
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  Speaker 5: a touring standup at the time.
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  Speaker 2: Cause I started in LA. And so then, and then
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  Speaker 2: I had kids and it was like far, away from
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  Speaker 2: where I lived.
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  Speaker 6: And then I like didn't really do standup for a
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  Speaker 6: few years.
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  Speaker 5: And then working on Chelsea lately, I was in a
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  Speaker 5: great opportunity to open for her and become, and then
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  Speaker 5: I became a headliner and wrote books.
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  Speaker 2: Yeah. And then from there, my kids were Like school-aged. Okay.
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  Speaker 5: So I really enjoyed that time away from them. Then
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  Speaker 5: I was like a guy comedian that just wanted a
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  Speaker 5: hotel room to just sleep in throughout the night. So
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  Speaker 5: I never experienced the traveling with the kids that are little.
• 5:31
  Speaker 5: And that's what you have right now. Because tell us
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  Speaker 5: how old all your kids are. I've made some mistakes.
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  Speaker 2: I don't know what happened. I don't know if it's
• 5:40
  Speaker 2: like long COVID that sent me into this psychosis where
• 5:43
  Speaker 2: I was like, I need to breathe. As much and
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  Speaker 2: as often as I can. I just became like a
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  Speaker 2: trad wife overnight. I decided to have as many babies
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  Speaker 2: as I could have. It would have been really good
• 5:53
  Speaker 2: to become addicted to something less damaging like fentanyl. But instead, no,
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  Speaker 2: I've just been pregnant actually six times in the last
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  Speaker 2: five years. Okay. But I've had three children. Okay. And
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  Speaker 2: I regret that. I have an older daughter who's 16.
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  Speaker 2: So that was.
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  Speaker 6: From a previous relationship?
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  Speaker 2: Yeah. Okay. And I should have just stuck with like
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  Speaker 2: one chic daughter. Okay. And the babies are all here
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  Speaker 2: now and I, you know, I wouldn't send them back.
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  Speaker 2: But if I never met them, I wouldn't miss them.
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  Speaker 2: And they really make it difficult. So they're four, just
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  Speaker 2: turned three, and the baby's three months. And we brought
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  Speaker 2: the baby to LA and.
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  Speaker 6: It's... And that's with your current.
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  Speaker 2: With my current, my first husband. Okay, so the first
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  Speaker 2: one you weren't married to.
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  Speaker 7: No.
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  Speaker 2: I like to call my husband either my current husband
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  Speaker 2: or my first husband. Yeah. Keep him on his toes.
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  Speaker 5: People love that I've let people know about the starter marriage.
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  Speaker 2: Oh, was that you? I did not create that.
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  Speaker 5: I just remember every story that's ever been told about anything,
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  Speaker 5: whether it was on Oprah 30 years ago or on
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  Speaker 5: Good Morning America 10 years ago. And there was a
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  Speaker 5: book called The Starter Marriage, which was you have a marriage.
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  Speaker 5: but it doesn't produce any children.
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  Speaker 2: Key, very key.
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  Speaker 6: And then, and it's kind of over before you're like 35. Yes.
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  Speaker 5: And then, and people love that because it's like, it's forgiving.
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  Speaker 5: Like if it's not working out and you haven't had
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  Speaker 5: the kid yet, it's just a starter marriage.
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  Speaker 2: And this message, I think, should be rolled out to
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  Speaker 2: women everywhere. You don't have these extra layers of complexity.
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  Speaker 2: Like even, I was like this at 23. I'd go, well,
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  Speaker 2: it'd be really difficult to leave him now. No, it's not.
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  Speaker 2: You're not married. You don't have kids. You don't have
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  Speaker 2: a mortgage. You don't just leave. Like women need to
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  Speaker 2: be walking away before it gets really like, imagine how
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  Speaker 2: complicated it would be to leave my husband now. It'd
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  Speaker 2: be awful. It would ruin my life.
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  Speaker 5: I was talking to a girl the other day. She's
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  Speaker 5: younger than I am. Her kids are school age. And
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  Speaker 5: she just was like, listen, I'm married for love the
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  Speaker 5: first time. The guy's literally right there. She goes, but
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  Speaker 5: if anything was to happen. it's either for a lot
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  Speaker 5: of money or nothing at all.
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  Speaker 2: Like I'm never getting married again.
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  Speaker 5: And I'm like, oh my God, that's like just so
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  Speaker 5: funny that it's like, I do feel like there's kind
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  Speaker 5: of like a lot, maybe it's just the algorithm knows
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  Speaker 5: what I want to see. A lot of it is
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  Speaker 5: just like women being like, like I've seen these videos
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  Speaker 5: where women are like, when you get home and you
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  Speaker 5: think you're alone and then they do like a video
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  Speaker 5: where you're just here like, slam the door like and
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  Speaker 5: it's just them it's just and you it's comforting because
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  Speaker 5: you realize because when it's happening to you you're like
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  Speaker 5: if there were cameras in this house every single person
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  Speaker 5: in this world would feel sorry for me and be
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  Speaker 5: on my side yeah but then because of social media
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  Speaker 5: someone puts out a video like that and everyone's like
• 8:44
  Speaker 5: oh wait we're all in the same boat that's just.
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  Speaker 2: Their species it's a scam it's just their species Absolutely.
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  Speaker 2: And I think that's why there's this concerted effort to
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  Speaker 2: shame single women, single mothers, child-free women. Because once we
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  Speaker 2: get into it, we're like, oh, well, this wasn't maybe
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  Speaker 2: worth it. And I say that. I love my husband. Yeah.
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  Speaker 2: But it's like, oh, there was this different path for
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  Speaker 2: me where I was just single with my one chic daughter.
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  Speaker 2: That would have been really good, too. You should only
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  Speaker 2: get married if you really like a daily reminder of
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  Speaker 2: gender inequality and injustice.
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  Speaker 6: If you like that.
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  Speaker 2: Like you can have it all. Kids, a career, resentment.
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  Speaker 2: You can have it all.
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  Speaker 6: Well, I am after 25 years of marriage.
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  Speaker 2: I can't believe you've been married that long. Why? Is
• 9:31
  Speaker 2: your husband incredible? No. Okay. I'm incredible. You are, yeah.
• 9:38
  Speaker 5: I believe God will reward me for these sacrifices. I
• 9:43
  Speaker 5: do believe in heaven.
• 9:44
  Speaker 2: Okay. And I think I will be like, There will
• 9:48
  Speaker 2: be no purgatory for me. I don't know what's going
• 9:50
  Speaker 2: to happen to him. You're going straight to heaven.
• 9:52
  Speaker 5: I'm going straight to heaven. I will put in a
• 9:54
  Speaker 5: good word. I will tell the doorman, get him if
• 9:57
  Speaker 5: you want.
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  Speaker 2: Yeah.
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  Speaker 5: But right now this is my table, like with my
• 10:01
  Speaker 5: parents and we're going to hang.
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  Speaker 2: Yeah.
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  Speaker 5: Um, but I know I, uh, I do get over
• 10:07
  Speaker 5: things quickly, but there are times where I'm like, oh
• 10:12
  Speaker 5: my God. And then the next day, I'm like, I
• 10:16
  Speaker 5: can't believe I ever thought that way.
• 10:17
  Speaker 2: I don't know.
• 10:18
  Speaker 5: That's just our vibe. Like every marriage is different. Every
• 10:21
  Speaker 5: marriage is completely different. Someone, you know, could put up
• 10:24
  Speaker 5: with infidelity or whatever because maybe they own a helicopter.
• 10:28
  Speaker 5: Maybe the husband is really sweet and complimentary and they're like,
• 10:31
  Speaker 5: I don't want to fuck you anyway. I don't judge
• 10:33
  Speaker 5: anybody's situation. And I think that's the problem is that women,
• 10:38
  Speaker 5: and I think that's why women like love to watch
• 10:39
  Speaker 5: housewives like get divorced because they're like, I'm kind of
• 10:43
  Speaker 5: jealous of her life.
• 10:44
  Speaker 6: But her husband hates her.
• 10:46
  Speaker 2: Yeah. Yay!
• 10:47
  Speaker 6: Like, no, I don't feel so jealous.
• 10:49
  Speaker 5: Like, so I think it's, you've got to realize that, like,
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  Speaker 5: everybody has a different situation. Everybody's tolerance is different. Everybody's
• 10:56
  Speaker 5: vibe is different. And whatever works for you. But what
• 11:00
  Speaker 5: I've realized also is there's certain things in life, like, okay,
• 11:05
  Speaker 5: so you have these young babies.
• 11:07
  Speaker 2: Let's talk more about you. Because my audience is probably like, Heather,
• 11:08
  Speaker 2: we've heard all your fucking stories. But I like hearing
• 11:12
  Speaker 2: them live. Okay, fine.
• 11:14
  Speaker 5: So you have all these young kids and can I
• 11:18
  Speaker 5: ask a personal question about, are you a breastfeeder?
• 11:21
  Speaker 6: Oh my gosh.
• 11:23
  Speaker 7: Yes.
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  Speaker 2: And it's everything to me. You love it.
• 11:26
  Speaker 6: No. Oh.
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  Speaker 2: I believe in it. Uh-huh. Again, I don't judge anyone. Right, right. Again,
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  Speaker 2: it's your own thing. Me too. It's so difficult. Even
• 11:34
  Speaker 2: if you have a supply, it's difficult. It really chains you.
• 11:39
  Speaker 2: To the house. Right. It's the only thing that separates
• 11:42
  Speaker 2: me and Stefan Diggs, I think. We've got the same
• 11:44
  Speaker 2: number of children. Yes, I breastfed everyone. My first daughter,
• 11:48
  Speaker 2: I breastfed her maybe too long, like two and a
• 11:50
  Speaker 2: bit years. But is anything too long? She's not trying
• 11:53
  Speaker 2: to get your nip now, so who cares? I know.
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  Speaker 2: I believe in it.
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  Speaker 5: I believe that all that, too, is annoying, like to
• 12:00
  Speaker 5: be judgy of someone that goes into toddler years.
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  Speaker 2: I mean, yeah, if they're playing soccer, yeah, it's too old.
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  Speaker 5: But the rest of it is like, what app works
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  Speaker 5: for you?
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  Speaker 2: I've got these little nip pads just in case you
• 12:11
  Speaker 2: say something. And I emote. And then I lactate all
• 12:15
  Speaker 2: over this Valentino jumper. So yeah, breastfeeding's every... I'm very
• 12:20
  Speaker 2: Kourtney Kardashian in that way. I'm granola, crunchy. I sleep
• 12:23
  Speaker 2: with my kids. Great. All three of them. We have...
• 12:27
  Speaker 2: How many bedrooms do we have? I'm doing very well
• 12:29
  Speaker 2: in the UK. Probably like five bedrooms. Great. We sleep
• 12:31
  Speaker 2: in one. We sleep in one bedroom. The entire family,
• 12:35
  Speaker 2: like we're on Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.
• 12:36
  Speaker 5: Do you have one of those special beds? Because I've
• 12:38
  Speaker 5: seen that on TikTok too. A lot of people are
• 12:40
  Speaker 5: doing the larger beds.
• 12:43
  Speaker 2: Yes. It's a nightmare. And I believe in it so strongly.
• 12:47
  Speaker 2: My husband and I are actually very much aligned on
• 12:50
  Speaker 2: attachment issues stemming from being left to cry in your
• 12:54
  Speaker 2: room as a baby. And we respond to our children's
• 12:56
  Speaker 2: needs immediately, blah, blah, blah. Obviously, we're still having sex
• 12:59
  Speaker 2: because we keep having kids. Yeah, good. But people in
• 13:01
  Speaker 2: Britain are very fascinated. They're like, when do you have sex?
• 13:04
  Speaker 2: But how? I'm like, around 10 a.m. when people are
• 13:08
  Speaker 2: either at nursery or napping. Yeah. I'll tell them. They're
• 13:12
  Speaker 2: not prepared for that either in England. They're like, they're
• 13:15
  Speaker 2: very buttoned up. But yeah, you have to be creative.
• 13:18
  Speaker 2: And are you on any kind of birth control now? No.
• 13:22
  Speaker 7: No.
• 13:22
  Speaker 5: So you're going to roll the dice for a fourth
• 13:26
  Speaker 5: or fifth?
• 13:26
  Speaker 2: It would be.
• 13:27
  Speaker 6: It'd be a fifth, right?
• 13:28
  Speaker 2: It would be a fifth. It'd be very controversial rolling in.
• 13:31
  Speaker 2: To an abortion clinic with a triple stroller. I just
• 13:35
  Speaker 2: can't have one more. But I think I read the
• 13:38
  Speaker 2: other day that Claire Danes at 44 had a surprise
• 13:42
  Speaker 2: pregnancy and was devastated. I read this actually, I think,
• 13:45
  Speaker 2: just in the car in Los Angeles. I read that
• 13:48
  Speaker 2: she didn't believe that it could happen. She thought 44,
• 13:51
  Speaker 2: she was home free.
• 13:53
  Speaker 6: And it just.
• 13:54
  Speaker 2: It throws your life into turmoil. It really does. There's
• 13:56
  Speaker 2: such a blessing. Isn't your background Irish? Aren't you Irish?
• 13:59
  Speaker 7: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 14:00
  Speaker 5: Do you know about Irish women and their very good
• 14:04
  Speaker 5: old eggs? I don't think enough people know about that.
• 14:07
  Speaker 5: They should be warned.
• 14:09
  Speaker 2: It is a real thing.
• 14:11
  Speaker 5: Because I'm 100% Irish. I thought I was a one-quarter French-Canadian.
• 14:17
  Speaker 5: That's why my mother thought she was French-Canadian. But then
• 14:19
  Speaker 5: when I took the test and I was all Irish.
• 14:21
  Speaker 2: Well, French-Canadian is not an ethnicity.
• 14:24
  Speaker 3: Right.
• 14:24
  Speaker 5: Well, then people said, no, I think Irish people came
• 14:28
  Speaker 5: to Canada in some line and said they were French.
• 14:31
  Speaker 2: No.
• 14:31
  Speaker 6: I think that's what happened.
• 14:33
  Speaker 7: No.
• 14:34
  Speaker 5: Then how am I 98% French and my mom thought
• 14:36
  Speaker 5: she was French?
• 14:38
  Speaker 2: No, I'm sorry. I'm 98% Irish.
• 14:39
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 14:40
  Speaker 7: Yes.
• 14:41
  Speaker 5: So like a hundred percent. My dad was a hundred
• 14:43
  Speaker 5: percent already. So I thought I was 50% on my
• 14:46
  Speaker 5: dad and my mom was 50, 50.
• 14:49
  Speaker 2: She said her mother was French. French Canadian or French? Well, French.
• 14:55
  Speaker 5: And then like, I guess French, French Canadian, whatever in Canada.
• 14:58
  Speaker 5: So like, but anyway, they're not, but they're not like, have.
• 15:02
  Speaker 2: You seen Hamilton? No, sorry. Don't get mad at me.
• 15:04
  Speaker 2: So I learn about history, especially American political history from
• 15:10
  Speaker 2: West End musicals. Yes. And so the French and the
• 15:13
  Speaker 2: English both were battling over territories and land in America
• 15:18
  Speaker 2: and at that time Canada as well. And I heard
• 15:21
  Speaker 2: the worst deal ever was the French sold, I think
• 15:25
  Speaker 2: it was the Mississippi River to the English for like
• 15:28
  Speaker 2: a million dollars at the time. And that became like
• 15:31
  Speaker 2: the way for trade and everything else. It was like
• 15:33
  Speaker 2: a terrible mistake. But that's why they're kind of French
• 15:35
  Speaker 2: in New Orleans. I got it. And there are French.
• 15:38
  Speaker 2: And so the Acadien, as we grew up knowing them,
• 15:40
  Speaker 2: because I'm French-Canadian too. Est-ce que vous parlez français? No,
• 15:45
  Speaker 2: I took lots of French, but I don't know any.
• 15:46
  Speaker 4: You don't.
• 15:47
  Speaker 2: Your mom didn't teach you. I'm a bad mom. No,
• 15:49
  Speaker 2: my mom didn't know French either. Oh, fine.
• 15:51
  Speaker 6: Nobody knew French.
• 15:52
  Speaker 5: You just took it in school and you don't learn
• 15:53
  Speaker 5: it after that. You just have to get through the memorization,
• 15:55
  Speaker 5: then you forget.
• 15:56
  Speaker 2: Okay. Well, in Canada, we do know it. Oh, good
• 15:58
  Speaker 2: for you. Because there are French roots and the French
• 16:01
  Speaker 2: Canadians really dig into their French culture. They keep trying
• 16:04
  Speaker 2: to separate from Canada and become their own country, Quebec. Yeah,
• 16:08
  Speaker 2: so like they're French. But no one's ethnicity is Canadian
• 16:11
  Speaker 2: apart from indigenous people, right? So you came up zero French? Zero.
• 16:17
  Speaker 7: Zero.
• 16:17
  Speaker 2: Maybe she's Irish and just, like, settled in French Canada. No,
• 16:21
  Speaker 2: that's what I think.
• 16:22
  Speaker 5: I think that they... I think because first I thought,
• 16:25
  Speaker 5: did someone cheat?
• 16:26
  Speaker 2: Like, that's kind of exciting.
• 16:27
  Speaker 5: No, I think it was just a bougie thing. And they, like,
• 16:31
  Speaker 5: kind of fibbed about it. And my mom never knew.
• 16:34
  Speaker 2: And now....
• 16:37
  Speaker 5: But what I was saying is my grandmother had children
• 16:42
  Speaker 5: very late in life, in her 40s, back when there
• 16:45
  Speaker 5: was no fertility.
• 16:46
  Speaker 2: And I.
• 16:48
  Speaker 5: Remember going to the doctor and I was rolling the dice.
• 16:51
  Speaker 5: And he was like, you should not be rolling the dice.
• 16:53
  Speaker 5: You have viable eggs. So I warn Irish girls that
• 16:58
  Speaker 5: you could have viable... And if you're Irish and you're
• 17:01
  Speaker 5: trying to get pregnant, then this should make you happy.
• 17:04
  Speaker 4: But.
• 17:05
  Speaker 2: You need to be a little careful.
• 17:07
  Speaker 6: If you're not.
• 17:07
  Speaker 2: I think because I'm still breastfeeding. My youngest baby is
• 17:11
  Speaker 2: only three months old. So I don't have a regular
• 17:14
  Speaker 2: cycle yet. When I do, I think I will. But
• 17:16
  Speaker 2: you're still boning.
• 17:17
  Speaker 8: Yeah.
• 17:18
  Speaker 2: Without protection, for sure. So, I mean, so.
• 17:21
  Speaker 5: You have these three little kids. And what happens when
• 17:25
  Speaker 5: you do go on the road? How often do you
• 17:27
  Speaker 5: go and who takes care of them?
• 17:29
  Speaker 2: It's hell. So my husband is a stay-at-home dad. Okay.
• 17:33
  Speaker 2: But again... the injustice of that, especially when you're breastfeeding.
• 17:37
  Speaker 2: We do have a nanny just in the daytime, not
• 17:40
  Speaker 2: living with us like many English people do. So she
• 17:43
  Speaker 2: helps out. My oldest son, who's four, he's just started school.
• 17:48
  Speaker 2: So he goes four days a week. And then my
• 17:50
  Speaker 2: little girl who just turned three, she goes three days
• 17:52
  Speaker 2: a week. A little bit of a break. Yeah. So
• 17:55
  Speaker 2: he does get a little bit of a break. And
• 17:57
  Speaker 2: I just haven't really, I haven't been here since I
• 18:00
  Speaker 2: was pregnant with my three-year-old actually. So it does definitely
• 18:03
  Speaker 2: affect my work. And it's, It's like a mindful practice
• 18:07
  Speaker 2: not to be jealous of the boys because it's so
• 18:11
  Speaker 2: easy every day to be like, if I was a dad,
• 18:13
  Speaker 2: I could do this, I could do that. I'd be
• 18:15
  Speaker 2: in L.A. this week by myself, but I'm nursing.
• 18:17
  Speaker 5: Yeah, well, and also it's like even women that have careers,
• 18:21
  Speaker 5: it's like still.
• 18:23
  Speaker 6: They, I believe, it's just our innate inside of us.
• 18:28
  Speaker 5: It's like we are mothers first no matter what that
• 18:31
  Speaker 5: career is. even if it ever happens to be, you know,
• 18:34
  Speaker 5: president of the United States or whatever, it will still
• 18:36
  Speaker 5: be mother first. Yet you wouldn't think that about like
• 18:39
  Speaker 5: a guy who's like, let's say the chief of police. No,
• 18:42
  Speaker 5: you wouldn't be like, I'm sure you think about your
• 18:45
  Speaker 5: kids all day long while you're running the city.
• 18:48
  Speaker 6: No, you'd be like, he's the chief of police.
• 18:50
  Speaker 2: You know? And it's like, so that's the thing too.
• 18:53
  Speaker 5: It's like, and with being female comedians, nobody's ever like
• 18:58
  Speaker 5: to a male comedian, oh my God, it must be
• 19:01
  Speaker 5: so hard to leave your two little kids to go
• 19:04
  Speaker 5: do the Tempe improv.
• 19:05
  Speaker 2: But we should say that to them, shouldn't we? We
• 19:07
  Speaker 2: should start just being like, oh my God, where are
• 19:10
  Speaker 2: your children?
• 19:11
  Speaker 6: Who's watching them?
• 19:12
  Speaker 2: Where are they? Are you co-sleeping? Like, how do you
• 19:16
  Speaker 2: tour when you're a dad of one? How do you
• 19:19
  Speaker 2: do that? You know, it's, but it is a thing. Like,
• 19:23
  Speaker 2: There is a woman, Erika Komisar, who I really love.
• 19:27
  Speaker 2: And she appeared recently on The Kardashians. And she's this
• 19:29
  Speaker 2: renowned psychologist. She talks a lot about attachment theory and
• 19:32
  Speaker 2: attachment parenting. And she's made this return to biology, which
• 19:36
  Speaker 2: is weird because I'm really, I think I'm very progressive.
• 19:39
  Speaker 2: I believe in equal opportunities for everyone. But the biology
• 19:43
  Speaker 2: just isn't there. Like our newborn, who's three months old,
• 19:47
  Speaker 2: my husband has not looked after her. He's looking after
• 19:49
  Speaker 2: her now. and I'm a bit concerned about it. Even
• 19:51
  Speaker 2: though it's only going to be two hours, I have
• 19:55
  Speaker 2: spearheaded the care of that child. And then when she's older,
• 19:58
  Speaker 2: my husband will look after her a bit more. Like,
• 20:00
  Speaker 2: he's really good with the toddlers. He's so good with
• 20:02
  Speaker 2: the toddlers. Not great with the teenage girl. Not great
• 20:05
  Speaker 2: with the newborn. But there is this biology where Sorry.
• 20:09
  Speaker 2: Like you can be as feminist and progressive as you like,
• 20:12
  Speaker 2: but you are their mother. Unless you're in a lesbian
• 20:15
  Speaker 2: partnership and then you're the other mother. And then maybe
• 20:18
  Speaker 2: you get to be a bit of a dad. Yeah.
• 20:21
  Speaker 2: I don't know. I find that interesting too.
• 20:23
  Speaker 5: And as someone that did use daycare and outside help
• 20:28
  Speaker 5: and stuff, now my kids are grown and I think
• 20:33
  Speaker 5: we're all good and we're all great, but I would
• 20:36
  Speaker 5: tell someone, and I have, that if you can avoid.
• 20:41
  Speaker 2: That, you know... It depends on the age.
• 20:47
  Speaker 5: Well, sometimes you can't, and sometimes your career can't allow it,
• 20:49
  Speaker 5: and sometimes your economics can't allow it.
• 20:51
  Speaker 7: Yeah.
• 20:52
  Speaker 5: But if you are in a position to have it
• 20:55
  Speaker 5: be that... Maybe it's just on rare occasions someone watches them,
• 20:58
  Speaker 5: but the baby that you're... That whole, like, carrying the
• 21:01
  Speaker 5: baby thing... I never really did, like, I never really
• 21:05
  Speaker 5: wore the baby because I am so lame.
• 21:08
  Speaker 2: Because of the ankles. You would have keeled right over.
• 21:12
  Speaker 2: I'm so lame. I never, like, I always had a
• 21:14
  Speaker 2: hard time, like, situating that Bichon. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 21:18
  Speaker 5: So I like to either just to carry the baby
• 21:20
  Speaker 5: or put the baby in a stroller. And, like, I was,
• 21:23
  Speaker 5: all I ever wanted to do was, like, be a mom.
• 21:25
  Speaker 5: And I love being a mom. And I have a
• 21:27
  Speaker 5: lot of sadness that, like, I was really busy during
• 21:32
  Speaker 5: that time and working and I don't I wouldn't be
• 21:34
  Speaker 5: sitting here today if I didn't make all those same
• 21:37
  Speaker 5: decisions because it doesn't wait for you.
• 21:40
  Speaker 6: And when the opportunity comes, you've got to take it.
• 21:42
  Speaker 2: No. But it is it is hard.
• 21:47
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 21:47
  Speaker 5: And then it is really hard when you choose to
• 21:49
  Speaker 5: be a stay at home mom and just like the 80s.
• 21:53
  Speaker 5: If you're staying at home for 20 years and then
• 21:55
  Speaker 5: you're 45 and your kids are grown and your husband's like, yeah,
• 21:58
  Speaker 5: I'm fucking the secretary and goodbye, you are fucked again.
• 22:01
  Speaker 5: Which is why people said you should have a career.
• 22:04
  Speaker 5: But then also, yeah, it's natural. And one of the
• 22:07
  Speaker 5: things I saw like, yeah, maybe that was that same
• 22:09
  Speaker 5: Kardashian or somewhere else about how especially like the boys
• 22:13
  Speaker 5: want to be really near their moms. Until like five.
• 22:17
  Speaker 7: Yeah.
• 22:17
  Speaker 2: And then they're really good to like go off.
• 22:20
  Speaker 7: Yes.
• 22:20
  Speaker 2: And I think sometimes even as little people are like, oh,
• 22:25
  Speaker 2: why is he such a mama's boy? Like right away.
• 22:27
  Speaker 2: And you're like, he's four. Like who cares? Like that's what,
• 22:31
  Speaker 2: and that's what I've always said about that. Like your
• 22:33
  Speaker 2: kid is not going to be Going, hey, I'm coming
• 22:36
  Speaker 2: home from college, mom. So, you know, get my side
• 22:38
  Speaker 2: of your bed ready. Like it's never going to happen.
• 22:41
  Speaker 5: You know, and even people that sleep with their kids
• 22:43
  Speaker 5: really long. A few people I know, like there was
• 22:46
  Speaker 5: a family we knew and their daughter was like in
• 22:49
  Speaker 5: the bed and then she had a bed in the
• 22:50
  Speaker 5: room and people kind of snickered about it.
• 22:54
  Speaker 2: They're fine. She married a Marine. She's a vet. They
• 22:59
  Speaker 2: have kids.
• 23:00
  Speaker 5: Grandparents visit parents grandparents still married to each other everybody's
• 23:04
  Speaker 5: fine yeah they parents didn't break up the girl didn't
• 23:07
  Speaker 5: get weird it's like whatever works but in those situations
• 23:11
  Speaker 5: it was the child that said all right like I'm
• 23:15
  Speaker 5: ready to have my own room now yeah and so
• 23:18
  Speaker 5: I like again I agree with I just feel like
• 23:21
  Speaker 5: there was a time in media that we were just
• 23:22
  Speaker 5: fed so many things about like you know letting them
• 23:25
  Speaker 5: cry it out and all that kind of and you
• 23:27
  Speaker 5: just have to do what's right for you yeah Itching.
• 23:30
  Speaker 2: Burning. Soreness.
• 23:32
  Speaker 8: When you know it's thrush, you want it gone. Treat
• 23:35
  Speaker 8: the cause, not just the symptoms, with Caniston Combi. Ireland's
• 23:39
  Speaker 8: number one thrush treatment brand. Caniston Combi Pestry and Cream
• 23:42
  Speaker 8: contain cotrimazole.
• 23:43
  Speaker 3: Always read the label.
• 23:45
  Speaker 2: Number one based on volume sales data.
• 23:47
  Speaker 8: To verify, contact info.ireland.bayor.com.
• 23:50
  Speaker 7: I'm Darman, and this is What Happens Next. Each week
• 23:53
  Speaker 7: on the show, I sit down with extraordinary people who
• 23:56
  Speaker 7: have faced tremendous setbacks and yet somehow have found a
• 24:00
  Speaker 7: way to turn them into their greatest strengths.
• 24:03
  Speaker 2: Life is one long lesson of chaos. I'm heading to
• 24:07
  Speaker 2: the Emmys and I have police complaints filed against me.
• 24:09
  Speaker 2: When your free will was about to be taken from you,
• 24:12
  Speaker 2: what would you do if it was given back?
• 24:14
  Speaker 7: Where did that need come from where you thought that
• 24:17
  Speaker 7: you had to succeed in order to feel loved?
• 24:19
  Speaker 2: He said, I have a work dad.
• 24:21
  Speaker 4: I need a home dad.
• 24:22
  Speaker 2: What happens next? When I came in, he started crying.
• 24:24
  Speaker 7: Everybody in life encounters hardships. What defines them is not
• 24:29
  Speaker 7: those hard moments that they go through. It's about what
• 24:32
  Speaker 7: happens next.
• 24:33
  Speaker 2: I decided to risk it all. I realized how valuable
• 24:35
  Speaker 2: every day was. You're worth the work. Listen, Dara, I'm
• 24:38
  Speaker 2: not going to pull punches. You can use your voice
• 24:40
  Speaker 2: even if it's shaped.
• 24:41
  Speaker 7: The stories are different, but the impact is the same.
• 24:45
  Speaker 7: Only one question matters. What happens next?
• 24:55
  Speaker 5: And so when you go on stage, like is the
• 24:57
  Speaker 5: baby like in the green room with like a nurse
• 25:00
  Speaker 5: or a nanny?
• 25:00
  Speaker 2: I finished my last tour just before this baby was born. Okay.
• 25:05
  Speaker 2: The tour that I did when my son Fred was born,
• 25:07
  Speaker 2: he was coming into the green room. He was coming
• 25:10
  Speaker 2: on the road with us. That was hell because you
• 25:12
  Speaker 2: never know who you're going to get. And Fred was
• 25:14
  Speaker 2: a very difficult, like unsettled baby. So he was not
• 25:18
  Speaker 2: like a happy fat tour baby who would just sleep
• 25:20
  Speaker 2: all the time. Not at all. And then I toured
• 25:24
  Speaker 2: Pregnant with Fenna. Some of my kids have quite controversial names.
• 25:27
  Speaker 2: I love it. Fred, Fenna, and what's the other one?
• 25:30
  Speaker 6: Holland.
• 25:31
  Speaker 2: Holland. Like Holland Taylor. Oh, I love it.
• 25:33
  Speaker 6: I love it.
• 25:34
  Speaker 2: I saw her on the red carpet, and I really
• 25:35
  Speaker 2: love older, powerful actresses.
• 25:38
  Speaker 6: She's great.
• 25:39
  Speaker 2: In the lesbian community in general.
• 25:41
  Speaker 6: And a May-December lesbian.
• 25:43
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Holland Taylor. My fave. So my baby's
• 25:46
  Speaker 2: named after her, but also my husband's Dutch. That's cute.
• 25:49
  Speaker 2: So Fred was his father's name.
• 25:51
  Speaker 6: Do you wear those little shoes in your family?
• 25:52
  Speaker 2: We do.
• 25:53
  Speaker 6: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 25:54
  Speaker 2: We split the bill. But, yeah, like, it has been. And, like,
• 26:00
  Speaker 2: today we had a little row. We call a fight
• 26:02
  Speaker 2: a row in the U.K. Okay. I use U.K. language
• 26:06
  Speaker 2: just because I'm, you know, tired of being corrected by
• 26:09
  Speaker 2: my teenage daughter. I have to, like, absorb their language.
• 26:12
  Speaker 2: I think I said jumper earlier. I've only been here
• 26:14
  Speaker 2: a few hours. But my husband, bless him, like, is
• 26:19
  Speaker 2: very helpful and very kind, and he really is the
• 26:22
  Speaker 2: love of my life. We get on. We're, like, funny.
• 26:24
  Speaker 2: But on the way here, we've both been ill. And
• 26:27
  Speaker 2: this is the other thing with kids. They're just like
• 26:29
  Speaker 2: super spreaders. Yes. We're sick all the time. We were
• 26:32
  Speaker 2: on this massively delayed flight. My milk supply is low.
• 26:35
  Speaker 2: I get emotional about that. Yeah. And so I was
• 26:38
  Speaker 2: just about to leave to come and meet you. And
• 26:39
  Speaker 2: my husband's like, I'm just going to have a cigarette
• 26:41
  Speaker 2: and a shower before you go. And I was like, no, no.
• 26:45
  Speaker 2: How come all my stuff comes last? Like moms are
• 26:49
  Speaker 2: just meant to fit it in, slide it in. And
• 26:52
  Speaker 2: for the last five years, I can't believe I still
• 26:54
  Speaker 2: have a career. I actually can't believe it. I look
• 26:57
  Speaker 2: at someone like Nikki Glaser, who is amazing and so
• 27:00
  Speaker 2: deserving of her accolades and has just been admired in
• 27:03
  Speaker 2: our industry for years and years and years. And I
• 27:08
  Speaker 2: think she's visiting Dr. Diamond. She is child-free. She's prioritizing
• 27:13
  Speaker 2: like these foot massages and writing her show. And I'm like,
• 27:16
  Speaker 2: I am very lucky that people even come to see me.
• 27:19
  Speaker 2: I'll have like One tit milking on stage. I'll be
• 27:23
  Speaker 2: pregnant again on stage. I'll be throwing up backstage. I'll
• 27:26
  Speaker 2: have a baby in the green room. Like, it is
• 27:28
  Speaker 2: ludicrous what I've been up to.
• 27:29
  Speaker 5: But I bet there's moments of, you know, some of
• 27:34
  Speaker 5: our friends that are child-free... Female comedians, because I always
• 27:38
  Speaker 5: see everything, you know, as lemonade. And I'm always like,
• 27:42
  Speaker 5: you're going to have so much material falling from the sky.
• 27:47
  Speaker 3: No.
• 27:48
  Speaker 6: From your daily life as a mom.
• 27:50
  Speaker 2: No, because of Brooklyn Beckham ruined that for us. And
• 27:53
  Speaker 2: now we have to keep our children's lives private. And
• 27:56
  Speaker 2: we can't monetize them or share photos of them. But
• 27:59
  Speaker 2: I mean, but I'm certainly not tell jokes about them
• 28:01
  Speaker 2: or we'll be humiliated online.
• 28:03
  Speaker 6: Well, I have told stories about my kids.
• 28:06
  Speaker 5: And one thing I had said when my first special
• 28:09
  Speaker 5: came out where they would have access to watch it,
• 28:12
  Speaker 5: I just said, I don't want you to watch it
• 28:13
  Speaker 5: till you're 16.
• 28:14
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 28:14
  Speaker 5: Cause I'm like, then you'll at 16, you won't care
• 28:17
  Speaker 5: about the Hot Wheels joke.
• 28:18
  Speaker 2: Okay. That I told about you, you know, and you
• 28:20
  Speaker 2: won't get it.
• 28:21
  Speaker 5: And, And one time my son did happen to watch
• 28:24
  Speaker 5: it because it was like on the TiVo.
• 28:26
  Speaker 2: And he got mad about something my daughter told me.
• 28:29
  Speaker 2: But then that was it.
• 28:32
  Speaker 5: And then I was going through old videos and there
• 28:34
  Speaker 5: were some videos where he was like, stop filming me.
• 28:37
  Speaker 2: And I did.
• 28:37
  Speaker 5: I never put on anything that they didn't want. I
• 28:40
  Speaker 5: didn't share a lot of them like in the Chelsea
• 28:43
  Speaker 5: lately days. I never, people didn't even know I had
• 28:45
  Speaker 5: kids because I thought that was the classy thing to do.
• 28:48
  Speaker 5: Then I was like, oh my God, I could have
• 28:49
  Speaker 5: like been exploiting these kids for years. And now that
• 28:53
  Speaker 5: they're older, they don't care. But I still always ask.
• 28:55
  Speaker 5: I always go, do you want me to tag you?
• 28:56
  Speaker 5: And they're boys, so they're not like thirst buckets. Like,
• 28:59
  Speaker 5: so they're not like trying to build up their thing.
• 29:02
  Speaker 5: But I'm like, hey, you know, like the other day,
• 29:04
  Speaker 5: my son turned 20 and I said, I found a
• 29:07
  Speaker 5: funny video of you.
• 29:08
  Speaker 6: And he's just like, and he looks so cute. And
• 29:11
  Speaker 6: he's like five.
• 29:12
  Speaker 5: And he's like, I love you because you gave me
• 29:14
  Speaker 5: hardwood floors. Because we like redid the floors in his room. And,
• 29:19
  Speaker 5: you know, and it got a lot of views.
• 29:20
  Speaker 6: Now, I don't know if it's because he was shirtless
• 29:22
  Speaker 6: in four.
• 29:23
  Speaker 2: I don't know.
• 29:23
  Speaker 7: Oh, God.
• 29:24
  Speaker 2: But he's 20 now. He's 20 now.
• 29:26
  Speaker 5: But I looked and it was, thank God, mostly my
• 29:29
  Speaker 5: followers that liked it because I was like, This is weird.
• 29:32
  Speaker 5: And then, but everyone loved it because the thing I
• 29:34
  Speaker 5: wrote was like, my son always had great taste. And
• 29:36
  Speaker 5: most of all the comments were about hardwood floors versus carpets.
• 29:39
  Speaker 7: Yeah.
• 29:40
  Speaker 2: An eye for interiors. But I did.
• 29:41
  Speaker 5: I said, this is the video I want to post.
• 29:44
  Speaker 5: Can I tag you? And he's like, yeah. And so
• 29:47
  Speaker 5: I'm like, OK, fine. Like, I think you have to
• 29:49
  Speaker 5: be like that. And I do think you should be
• 29:51
  Speaker 5: careful about the stories you tell, because I know it's
• 29:55
  Speaker 5: low hanging fruit to say your kid is dumb or
• 29:57
  Speaker 5: they're an asshole or they're a bedwetter or whatever. But
• 30:02
  Speaker 5: I'm like, you got to think of yourself at seven.
• 30:05
  Speaker 5: And if that story was out there for the whole
• 30:08
  Speaker 5: world to see.
• 30:10
  Speaker 2: So I love Kevin Hart and Bert Kreischer. But is
• 30:13
  Speaker 2: that how we pronounce his surname?
• 30:15
  Speaker 6: Bert Kreischer, yeah.
• 30:15
  Speaker 2: Yes, I love them. But I saw in both of
• 30:18
  Speaker 2: their specials, they had material about their daughter's first period.
• 30:22
  Speaker 2: And I was like... Not okay. I'm going to say
• 30:24
  Speaker 2: it right now. Not okay. I don't believe so either.
• 30:27
  Speaker 5: I mean, I know a guy on the radio that
• 30:29
  Speaker 5: talks about what his daughter will look like when she's older,
• 30:32
  Speaker 5: if she'll need a boob job, and the people are
• 30:37
  Speaker 5: sitting across from him, and they're getting paid to be there,
• 30:40
  Speaker 5: so they have to just laugh along with it. And
• 30:42
  Speaker 5: I had a real moral issue with it, and that's
• 30:45
  Speaker 5: one of the reasons I'm no longer on that show
• 30:46
  Speaker 5: as a guest. But I didn't like it, and I
• 30:49
  Speaker 5: don't think it's right, and I don't think you should
• 30:51
  Speaker 5: be joking or talking about that. It's the same stories
• 30:55
  Speaker 5: that I've told where there was a woman who was
• 30:57
  Speaker 5: doing vlogging with her children and she made her daughter
• 31:01
  Speaker 5: do an ad for her first period. And that girl
• 31:06
  Speaker 5: now is part of a book about how fucked up
• 31:10
  Speaker 5: it was. And it's like, you just have to think
• 31:13
  Speaker 5: about that.
• 31:14
  Speaker 2: Absolutely.
• 31:15
  Speaker 5: And you have to talk about them and everything. But
• 31:17
  Speaker 5: I think it's also how you write the material. Like
• 31:20
  Speaker 5: if it's your perspective and it's, I always felt like
• 31:23
  Speaker 5: my stuff was self-deprecating.
• 31:24
  Speaker 2: Like I was a bad mom. I feel that.
• 31:26
  Speaker 5: And this was just the boy mom thing. And I'm
• 31:28
  Speaker 5: trying to get cute before an event. And my son
• 31:30
  Speaker 5: dropped the, you know, hot rod next to a giant shit.
• 31:33
  Speaker 5: And I have to scoop it out when my husband's golfing.
• 31:36
  Speaker 2: And I'm like, fuck you. And like, you know what
• 31:38
  Speaker 2: I mean? So I think that there's ways to do it.
• 31:40
  Speaker 2: But yeah, I agree. I agree with that.
• 31:42
  Speaker 5: And, but in that way, I'm saying about child-free life,
• 31:47
  Speaker 5: And I have said childless and people get really mad
• 31:49
  Speaker 5: at me.
• 31:49
  Speaker 6: So I like to say child free.
• 31:51
  Speaker 2: We've both been in trouble. Female comedians with.
• 31:53
  Speaker 5: That is that I bet there's times where they've been like, oh,
• 31:58
  Speaker 5: sure you have a new hour, Catherine, because you had
• 32:01
  Speaker 5: another fucking kid to talk about. You have another birthing story.
• 32:04
  Speaker 5: You have another getting into the school story. And they're
• 32:07
  Speaker 5: good stories and they're relatable stories. And they're from your perspective.
• 32:10
  Speaker 5: And I do think sometimes for people that don't have that,
• 32:14
  Speaker 5: maybe it is harder to come up with material. How
• 32:16
  Speaker 5: many more Tinder jokes can you have? How many more
• 32:18
  Speaker 5: things can you say? I don't want kids. I'm happy
• 32:22
  Speaker 5: I don't have kids. We're like, you're 50. No one's
• 32:24
  Speaker 5: expecting you to have a kid at this point. Your
• 32:26
  Speaker 5: schtick is getting a little old.
• 32:28
  Speaker 6: Like, whatever.
• 32:28
  Speaker 5: So I think everybody has the thing, but it's your life. And,
• 32:34
  Speaker 5: you know, and then when you become a grandparent, that's
• 32:36
  Speaker 5: a whole other thing.
• 32:37
  Speaker 2: So it's great.
• 32:38
  Speaker 5: It's like as long as you can talk about your
• 32:39
  Speaker 5: life And you have such a strong point of view
• 32:42
  Speaker 5: that in those stages of your life, it's just your
• 32:44
  Speaker 5: point of view.
• 32:45
  Speaker 6: You're not necessarily exploiting people.
• 32:48
  Speaker 2: But I was really worried, actually, about alienating the audience
• 32:52
  Speaker 2: that I had in the UK. Because, like, 2019, my special,
• 32:57
  Speaker 2: my last Netflix special, and then I have two subsequent
• 33:00
  Speaker 2: specials on Sky in the UK. But that special was
• 33:03
  Speaker 2: very much about being single and you don't have to
• 33:05
  Speaker 2: fit into a traditional shape of a family anymore. And
• 33:08
  Speaker 2: I really had it all figured out with my lovely daughter.
• 33:11
  Speaker 2: And I was really killing it. And then I fell
• 33:13
  Speaker 2: into the trap of like... Have you ever... I'm curious. Yeah.
• 33:17
  Speaker 2: Have you ever... You know how in this world of Ozempic... Yes.
• 33:22
  Speaker 5: There's a lot of people that have made their career
• 33:25
  Speaker 5: out of being funny and fat.
• 33:27
  Speaker 2: Or, you know, or.
• 33:29
  Speaker 6: I don't want to say fat. That's right.
• 33:31
  Speaker 4: Whatever.
• 33:32
  Speaker 2: I think you could say fat again. Okay, okay. I
• 33:34
  Speaker 2: think we're saying fat. Well, whatever.
• 33:35
  Speaker 6: That's their character.
• 33:36
  Speaker 2: That's this.
• 33:38
  Speaker 5: Or they're bold and body positive. And they want to
• 33:42
  Speaker 5: be healthy too. And so then they've slimmed down. And
• 33:45
  Speaker 5: then the audience is like, you left the good fight.
• 33:50
  Speaker 5: Did you feel when you became the quote unquote trad wife?
• 33:53
  Speaker 5: Did you have any singletons that felt that you had
• 33:56
  Speaker 5: abandoned their cause and sold out to be baking your
• 34:01
  Speaker 5: own bread?
• 34:02
  Speaker 2: A little bit. Yeah. I just had a few messages.
• 34:04
  Speaker 2: Mostly people were on that same journey with me. They
• 34:08
  Speaker 2: were also being taken in by the allure. of a
• 34:11
  Speaker 2: husband and kids and like, mostly they were making the
• 34:15
  Speaker 2: same mistakes, but there were some people who were like,
• 34:18
  Speaker 2: I don't listen to your podcast anymore because you talk
• 34:20
  Speaker 2: about your kids too much. And I was like. That's nice.
• 34:22
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 34:22
  Speaker 6: That's what I needed to hear after the show.
• 34:24
  Speaker 2: But it is fair. It's like, if people recognize you
• 34:27
  Speaker 2: as one thing and I changed the way I looked,
• 34:29
  Speaker 2: like I don't get pregnant in a cute LA way.
• 34:32
  Speaker 2: Like I gained all this weight in my neck. I
• 34:35
  Speaker 2: say I got pregnant in my throat, like a tropical frog.
• 34:37
  Speaker 2: I just looked incredibly different. And loads of people because
• 34:42
  Speaker 2: my thing was kind of being glamorous. I had always
• 34:46
  Speaker 2: had a really nice figure and I wore beautiful clothes
• 34:49
  Speaker 2: on stage at a time when maybe female comedians were
• 34:52
  Speaker 2: discouraged from doing that. I do. I want to talk
• 34:55
  Speaker 2: a little bit about that. Yeah. Wait, do you have
• 34:57
  Speaker 2: a point before I interrupt you? Because I am an interrupter.
• 35:00
  Speaker 2: So I just go ahead. But I just got incredibly.
• 35:03
  Speaker 2: I looked different is what I'm saying. I got like
• 35:04
  Speaker 2: ugly and fat for five years, which is fine if
• 35:07
  Speaker 2: that's what you like. but I'm from a toxic generation.
• 35:10
  Speaker 7: Yeah.
• 35:11
  Speaker 2: And I really missed being attractive. I was like, oh, well. Yeah.
• 35:16
  Speaker 2: But go on with your.
• 35:16
  Speaker 6: Well, I was going to say about your, I love your,
• 35:18
  Speaker 6: your looks on stage.
• 35:20
  Speaker 2: That's kind of you to say. And I, when I
• 35:22
  Speaker 2: came up, it was like Paula Poundstone. Okay. Who's so talented.
• 35:27
  Speaker 5: And suits and ties and pantsuits. And Joan Rivers would
• 35:33
  Speaker 5: dress up in a dress, but at the same time,
• 35:35
  Speaker 5: her whole act was saying how ugly she was.
• 35:37
  Speaker 7: Yeah.
• 35:37
  Speaker 5: Which I was always like, I don't get why you
• 35:39
  Speaker 5: say calling yourself fat when you're a size two and
• 35:41
  Speaker 5: you're very pretty in my eyes and everybody else is like, whatever,
• 35:45
  Speaker 5: even though, but she was hilarious in every way and very,
• 35:48
  Speaker 5: very generous to other female comedians. But I was going
• 35:51
  Speaker 5: to say like, so I was always like, I never
• 35:55
  Speaker 5: showed my legs until like three years ago.
• 35:58
  Speaker 2: Back on the ankles.
• 36:00
  Speaker 5: I never did because I thought it was like distracting
• 36:04
  Speaker 5: or something.
• 36:05
  Speaker 2: And I just was like, Oh, you're like jeans. Yeah.
• 36:08
  Speaker 5: But now I'm like, I don't have any more years left.
• 36:10
  Speaker 5: I have to show these legs. So now I, I
• 36:13
  Speaker 5: do wear more. And I love that a lot of
• 36:16
  Speaker 5: female comedians like you, Nikki Glaser, um, you know, Hannah
• 36:21
  Speaker 5: are wearing like either everybody's wearing glamorous outfits or everybody's
• 36:24
  Speaker 5: wearing the Dave Chappelle garbage working at the, um, at
• 36:29
  Speaker 5: the auto place.
• 36:30
  Speaker 2: Yes. And whatever your authentic and whatever that, I mean,
• 36:32
  Speaker 2: literally I call that the female comedian uniform and I,
• 36:36
  Speaker 2: And like if I'm like at a Target and I
• 36:37
  Speaker 2: see a girl in it, I've done a video that
• 36:39
  Speaker 2: I'm like, hi, where are you at the improv tonight? Like,
• 36:41
  Speaker 2: I don't know why that became such a thing.
• 36:43
  Speaker 5: But I I love that that you dress up and
• 36:47
  Speaker 5: that like my two that we're doing in the fall.
• 36:50
  Speaker 5: I'm like, I'm going to bring I'm going to dress
• 36:52
  Speaker 5: like Luann. I'm going to get Giovanni. I'm going to
• 36:55
  Speaker 5: I'm going to just do the whole thing because I'm like.
• 36:58
  Speaker 2: I don't know.
• 36:58
  Speaker 6: First of all, I can't afford these outfits finally.
• 37:01
  Speaker 2: And I don't know when I'll have the next opportunity
• 37:03
  Speaker 2: to get all dressed up and have, you know, hundreds
• 37:05
  Speaker 2: of people look at my beautiful dress. And people like
• 37:10
  Speaker 2: looking at your beautiful dress. I don't know why we
• 37:13
  Speaker 2: took so long to figure that out. It's a Trojan horse.
• 37:15
  Speaker 2: Did you always dress up when you started, when you
• 37:17
  Speaker 2: were young? Like in the clubs in Canada, yes. But
• 37:21
  Speaker 2: then I would be discouraged from doing that. How would
• 37:23
  Speaker 2: they disagree?
• 37:24
  Speaker 6: Like an agent or something?
• 37:25
  Speaker 2: The bookers. I didn't have an agent in Canada. Just
• 37:27
  Speaker 2: like the guys at the club would just say, well,
• 37:31
  Speaker 2: you shouldn't dress like that because the women will hate
• 37:33
  Speaker 2: you and the men will fancy you. It'll be distracting.
• 37:35
  Speaker 2: Like you should hide your femininity as much as you
• 37:38
  Speaker 2: can was the message. That's why I did it.
• 37:40
  Speaker 8: Yeah.
• 37:40
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 37:41
  Speaker 2: But I know, you know, that again, it's so disappointing for,
• 37:45
  Speaker 2: you know, for them to show themselves as we think
• 37:48
  Speaker 2: women hate each other and women don't. And I get
• 37:51
  Speaker 2: so many messages from ladies who might not otherwise think
• 37:54
  Speaker 2: that they'd be into stand-up comedy. And of course, we
• 37:56
  Speaker 2: both know there are so many women who have internalized
• 37:59
  Speaker 2: misogyny and will say, well, I don't think women are funny.
• 38:01
  Speaker 2: Or they'll go, I think you're funny, but I don't
• 38:03
  Speaker 2: think other, you know, they'll just.
• 38:04
  Speaker 6: Well, I always said, stop, change your language.
• 38:09
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 38:10
  Speaker 5: When you say, I'm excited to come to see you
• 38:13
  Speaker 5: this Saturday.
• 38:14
  Speaker 6: I'm dragging my husband.
• 38:16
  Speaker 5: And I'd be like, if your husband got tickets to
• 38:18
  Speaker 5: Chris Rock, He would not be dragging you.
• 38:21
  Speaker 2: No.
• 38:21
  Speaker 6: You'd be excited to go.
• 38:23
  Speaker 5: And I'm like, why are you putting your husband in
• 38:25
  Speaker 5: a place where you feel he wouldn't enjoy me? If
• 38:27
  Speaker 5: he likes you and you're funny and you like funny,
• 38:31
  Speaker 5: he will enjoy it. And so many straight men like great, fabulous,
• 38:35
  Speaker 5: funny females.
• 38:36
  Speaker 7: Yeah.
• 38:36
  Speaker 5: Especially men like under 50, especially. But even the ones
• 38:41
  Speaker 5: over 50 like it because they relate. Like if it's me,
• 38:44
  Speaker 5: it's their wife.
• 38:45
  Speaker 2: And, you know, they.
• 38:46
  Speaker 5: And I'm not male bashing. I think sometimes women are afraid.
• 38:50
  Speaker 2: I usually am male bashing. I think they're afraid to
• 38:52
  Speaker 2: bring the husband. Yeah.
• 38:54
  Speaker 5: Have it be an hour and a half of male bashing.
• 38:56
  Speaker 5: And then they have to walk on eggshells with that
• 38:58
  Speaker 5: fucker for the next week.
• 39:00
  Speaker 2: Oh, do you think?
• 39:00
  Speaker 6: And I think that's why they don't want to bring them.
• 39:03
  Speaker 6: And I do.
• 39:04
  Speaker 5: I think because we are constantly thinking about their ego
• 39:09
  Speaker 5: and being fragile about their ego. So then I had
• 39:11
  Speaker 5: to be like, look, I actually don't male bash. Like
• 39:14
  Speaker 5: I'm raising sons. It's your husband will not be offended.
• 39:19
  Speaker 6: I'm not going to call him out. Like, but whatever.
• 39:22
  Speaker 2: Come or don't. Like, I'm sick of it. Yeah. But
• 39:25
  Speaker 2: the thing is, I think.
• 39:26
  Speaker 5: Women are so supportive of other women. and we need
• 39:29
  Speaker 5: to focus on those women however there are a lot
• 39:34
  Speaker 5: of women that unfortunately the hater ones I think the
• 39:38
  Speaker 5: culprit of the anonymous online hater that I'm sure you
• 39:42
  Speaker 5: get as well I think they are frustrated comedians themselves
• 39:47
  Speaker 5: I think a lot of them are mad that they
• 39:51
  Speaker 5: didn't pursue a dream.
• 39:53
  Speaker 2: Yeah. Or I remember with this one woman I worked with, she.
• 40:00
  Speaker 5: Was ahead of me in the standup world and in
• 40:02
  Speaker 5: age and in success and all that. And she, you know,
• 40:08
  Speaker 5: never had kids, was pregnant and chose to end that
• 40:14
  Speaker 5: because she said, there was no way I could continue
• 40:16
  Speaker 5: this career as a traveling standup. That's what she believed.
• 40:21
  Speaker 5: That's what she either told herself or believed it, whatever.
• 40:25
  Speaker 5: And I felt she had a real resentment towards me
• 40:28
  Speaker 5: because I was able to do it all.
• 40:31
  Speaker 6: And she was told you couldn't.
• 40:33
  Speaker 2: Yeah. And, or whatever, or, and so I don't know.
• 40:37
  Speaker 2: It's like, it's a weird thing. People project a lot.
• 40:40
  Speaker 5: There's a lot of, there's so many times where I'm like,
• 40:42
  Speaker 5: and hence, this is why we're not further along. Like,
• 40:45
  Speaker 5: because sometimes we are not, Thinking and being supportive of
• 40:49
  Speaker 5: other people's dreams and being like, that's great that you're
• 40:50
  Speaker 5: doing this all.
• 40:52
  Speaker 2: You know, it's amazing.
• 40:54
  Speaker 5: And so you have, okay, so you got started in Canada.
• 41:00
  Speaker 6: You were like working at Hooters training waitresses.
• 41:03
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 41:04
  Speaker 5: And then what made you first decide, I actually think
• 41:09
  Speaker 5: I should be a stand-up?
• 41:10
  Speaker 2: Well, I always valued comedy, so I would watch it.
• 41:13
  Speaker 2: I loved the David Letterman show and Joan Rivers, obviously,
• 41:16
  Speaker 2: and I loved the Golden Girls. I would just watch
• 41:18
  Speaker 2: all of those things. It was part of our culture
• 41:20
  Speaker 2: growing up. Loved, loved, loved funny women, funny people. And
• 41:24
  Speaker 2: then I never considered that I'd be a stand-up comedian
• 41:27
  Speaker 2: at all. I wanted to be the thing that I
• 41:29
  Speaker 2: thought got you the best life, which was uncomplicated and
• 41:32
  Speaker 2: pretty and soft and gentle. And I wasn't those things
• 41:35
  Speaker 2: because I would say, I don't know. Like I was
• 41:38
  Speaker 2: just a weird kid. So I would say something that
• 41:40
  Speaker 2: I could see my parents would stiffen up. Like I
• 41:44
  Speaker 2: would offend people somehow. I'd try to be funny in
• 41:46
  Speaker 2: a room where my dad especially was like, no. And
• 41:52
  Speaker 2: like I was a bit provocative as a kid. And
• 41:54
  Speaker 2: I didn't want to be that way. I didn't choose it.
• 41:56
  Speaker 2: I wanted to be like Christina Aguilera, Britney Spears. I
• 41:58
  Speaker 2: was growing up in that generation. So as soon as
• 42:01
  Speaker 2: I graduated high school, I moved to Toronto, which was
• 42:03
  Speaker 2: like the big city near-ish to where I was from.
• 42:06
  Speaker 2: I started working at Hooters. I got breast implants. I
• 42:09
  Speaker 2: was like, this is it. I'm going to be a
• 42:10
  Speaker 2: nice girl, like the right kind of cheerleader girl. And
• 42:14
  Speaker 2: I'd get in trouble at Hooters for, again, like trying
• 42:18
  Speaker 2: to be funny. I was never trying to be funny.
• 42:20
  Speaker 2: I just said weird things. And there was a stand-up
• 42:24
  Speaker 2: comedy club next to the Hooters. And I thought as
• 42:27
  Speaker 2: an exercise to get it out, I'll do amateur nights
• 42:30
  Speaker 2: as a hobby. I'll leave it at that. I'll just
• 42:32
  Speaker 2: go and be weird at the comedy club. And then
• 42:34
  Speaker 2: I'll continue my path.
• 42:36
  Speaker 5: And was your path as a pretty hooters girl, was
• 42:39
  Speaker 5: the path to get married and be a mother?
• 42:42
  Speaker 2: Yeah. Okay.
• 42:43
  Speaker 5: So you wanted just like a nice life as a
• 42:46
  Speaker 5: normal cute girl.
• 42:47
  Speaker 2: I used to say to people, and I don't know
• 42:48
  Speaker 2: where I got this because I went to university as well.
• 42:51
  Speaker 2: I'd say when they'd ask what you want to do
• 42:53
  Speaker 2: with your life, I'd say I want to be an
• 42:54
  Speaker 2: educated housewife. Which I'm the opposite now.
• 42:58
  Speaker 6: Did you ever hear the expression, oh, you're here to
• 42:59
  Speaker 6: get your MRS degree?
• 43:01
  Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah. Love to get an MRS. I didn't go
• 43:03
  Speaker 2: to a school like that. I went to quite like
• 43:05
  Speaker 2: an artistic school.
• 43:05
  Speaker 4: Right.
• 43:06
  Speaker 2: Where, you know, there were no doctors and lawyers and
• 43:08
  Speaker 2: those kind of men to meet. I really didn't place
• 43:11
  Speaker 2: myself in the right... Like, I like that there's conversation
• 43:13
  Speaker 2: now around... like meeting rich men, what they should do,
• 43:18
  Speaker 2: what they should pay for. Because I think feminism, which,
• 43:22
  Speaker 2: you know, has evolved and will continue to, took us
• 43:25
  Speaker 2: on a little detour where our generation, we're like, I'm
• 43:27
  Speaker 2: going to split the bill. I'm going to earn my
• 43:29
  Speaker 2: own money. I'm going to be autonomous and independent. But
• 43:33
  Speaker 2: then we're also picking up a lot of the mental load,
• 43:35
  Speaker 2: a lot of the childcare, a lot of the housework.
• 43:38
  Speaker 2: And these younger girls, because I do have a 16-year-old
• 43:40
  Speaker 2: and her friends, they've like taken it back to, oh,
• 43:45
  Speaker 2: I want to work and I want my husband to work,
• 43:47
  Speaker 2: but he has to pay for everything. And men have
• 43:50
  Speaker 2: to lead and plan the date and follow through and
• 43:53
  Speaker 2: take initiative. And I'm like, it's weirdly traditional with a
• 43:57
  Speaker 2: modern spin, but no, I dated like broke losers exclusively
• 44:02
  Speaker 2: in university.
• 44:03
  Speaker 5: And with, yeah, with me, I always loved comedy and
• 44:08
  Speaker 5: I thought I knew I should do that. And my
• 44:11
  Speaker 5: parents would even say, Heather will be on that stage
• 44:15
  Speaker 5: one day doing standup.
• 44:16
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 44:17
  Speaker 5: But I really knew I wanted to be a mom,
• 44:21
  Speaker 5: like a married mom. And I thought there's, there could
• 44:24
  Speaker 5: not be anything less attractive to men than a female
• 44:27
  Speaker 5: standup because of the boldness, because of the, like the
• 44:31
  Speaker 5: tell it like it is. But then I decided like,
• 44:34
  Speaker 5: I have this talent and I'm, I'm not using it.
• 44:37
  Speaker 5: And that's, you know, and an F you to God.
• 44:39
  Speaker 5: So I was like, started to do it. And then
• 44:41
  Speaker 5: there was even a point where I was like, I'll
• 44:43
  Speaker 5: just have a child of my own. I just know
• 44:45
  Speaker 5: I have to be a mother. Like I'll just do
• 44:47
  Speaker 5: it on my own or whatever.
• 44:48
  Speaker 2: What age were you thinking this? Like 27.
• 44:49
  Speaker 6: Wow.
• 44:51
  Speaker 5: Like I would just go like, cause I wasn't in
• 44:54
  Speaker 5: a relationship or anything. And I was kind of like,
• 44:56
  Speaker 5: I just know I have to be a mom at
• 44:58
  Speaker 5: some point. Um, I think people that haven't made, which
• 45:03
  Speaker 5: you kind of were in this position with your daughter.
• 45:05
  Speaker 2: I really don't rub it in. Is you have the child. Yeah. Um, Well,
• 45:12
  Speaker 2: is that dad involved? Not really. So I've been careful
• 45:16
  Speaker 2: never to slag him off just because I don't think
• 45:18
  Speaker 2: it's the right thing to do. And I really protected
• 45:21
  Speaker 2: him while my daughter was young. I would never say
• 45:24
  Speaker 2: anything bad about him. But now she's 16 and she
• 45:26
  Speaker 2: can see for herself that unfortunately he's not a bad person,
• 45:30
  Speaker 2: but he's never made any sacrifices, never paid anything for her.
• 45:33
  Speaker 2: Just kind of texts her, which I think is breadcrumbing. Like, hey,
• 45:37
  Speaker 2: love you. How are you? Which is better than no contact.
• 45:40
  Speaker 2: but he hasn't been like the type of dad that
• 45:42
  Speaker 2: you would want for your daughter. Do you know what
• 45:45
  Speaker 2: I mean? I would say to dads, I think I
• 45:47
  Speaker 2: would be a great dad, like, um, non contact parent.
• 45:53
  Speaker 2: Me too. Because I said, I think every mother would
• 45:56
  Speaker 2: be a great dad. Yeah. I am a great dad.
• 45:58
  Speaker 2: When you think about it, you are a fantastic father.
• 46:00
  Speaker 2: I'm the best dad ever. But what I would do,
• 46:03
  Speaker 2: I can't fix anything. And this is to all the like,
• 46:06
  Speaker 2: you know, fathers for justice. Like, the dads who listen
• 46:09
  Speaker 2: to your podcast, all you have to do with a
• 46:12
  Speaker 2: teenage girl is drive to the mother's house, send her
• 46:16
  Speaker 2: a text and go, do you want to come get
• 46:19
  Speaker 2: Starbucks with me? If not, if not... That's all I've
• 46:22
  Speaker 2: ever said too. I've given that advice so much. It's
• 46:24
  Speaker 2: all they have to do. It's all the teenagers care about.
• 46:27
  Speaker 2: If not, I'll go get you a Starbucks. I'll drop
• 46:29
  Speaker 2: it off. You come to the car. I'll give it
• 46:30
  Speaker 2: to you. I'll say, hey, how are you?
• 46:32
  Speaker 1: I love you.
• 46:32
  Speaker 2: Here's your Starbucks.
• 46:33
  Speaker 7: Bye.
• 46:33
  Speaker 2: Like no pressure.
• 46:34
  Speaker 5: I have said this so much because I think people... They,
• 46:40
  Speaker 5: in the state of California, they kind of created, you know,
• 46:44
  Speaker 5: I don't know, 30 years ago that the men should
• 46:47
  Speaker 5: have 50-50 unless there's a real issue there. So if
• 46:50
  Speaker 5: they want it, they can have it. I'm so sorry
• 46:53
  Speaker 5: to hear that. And now I think hopefully people, I
• 46:55
  Speaker 5: try to spread the word on this show that I've
• 46:57
  Speaker 5: talked to children that were split 50-50 and it wasn't
• 47:01
  Speaker 5: necessarily the best for them and it wasn't necessary in
• 47:05
  Speaker 5: keeping the relationship. It just made the child's life chaotic.
• 47:09
  Speaker 5: Would you like to live out of a suitcase? Two
• 47:11
  Speaker 5: different places. I mean, at nine with two different, and
• 47:15
  Speaker 5: then you forget the soccer pads and now there's your
• 47:18
  Speaker 5: parents are fighting and it's really your fault because you're
• 47:20
  Speaker 5: nine and you should have remembered to pack the soccer pads.
• 47:22
  Speaker 5: I mean, it's just too much. And it's like, I've
• 47:25
  Speaker 5: said that too. And I've had a friend that was
• 47:26
  Speaker 5: like dating a divorced dad of a teenager and Something
• 47:30
  Speaker 5: I would never do. He was getting all like butt hurt,
• 47:32
  Speaker 5: you know, because she and I'm like and I said
• 47:35
  Speaker 5: to him, I had the opportunity to listen.
• 47:37
  Speaker 2: I go, I my parents were married forever. I lived
• 47:39
  Speaker 2: with my dad. I loved my dad.
• 47:41
  Speaker 5: I didn't want to hang out with my dad at 16.
• 47:44
  Speaker 2: It's like weird.
• 47:45
  Speaker 5: It's not who you want to hang out with, but
• 47:47
  Speaker 5: you love them.
• 47:48
  Speaker 6: So all you have to do is exactly what you said.
• 47:50
  Speaker 7: Yeah.
• 47:51
  Speaker 2: Be consistent. Take them to lunch, brunch.
• 47:54
  Speaker 5: If they have something that big weekend, don't get all
• 47:57
  Speaker 5: fucking butthurt and call them a little pig like Alex Baldwin.
• 48:01
  Speaker 5: Understand you're the parent.
• 48:03
  Speaker 2: They're the kid. They'll come around. They'll mature. Great throwback reference.
• 48:08
  Speaker 2: I mean, like, grow up. It's not about you, fucker.
• 48:11
  Speaker 2: His daughter Ireland named her child Holland as well, I think.
• 48:15
  Speaker 2: But absolutely, the flow goes one way. And I've heard
• 48:19
  Speaker 2: so many dads go... Well, she's using me for rides.
• 48:21
  Speaker 2: I don't get anything back. Oh, you only call me
• 48:24
  Speaker 2: when you need money for homecoming? Who cares? Yes, you're
• 48:26
  Speaker 2: my dad. The flow goes one way, parent to child. Like,
• 48:29
  Speaker 2: there's nothing they can do wrong. Just make yourself available.
• 48:33
  Speaker 2: Make some type of sacrifice. And unfortunately, no, my daughter
• 48:37
  Speaker 2: doesn't have the dad that I would want her to have.
• 48:40
  Speaker 2: But he's not a bad person. And you know what?
• 48:43
  Speaker 6: That could change. You never know.
• 48:46
  Speaker 2: Years go on.
• 48:47
  Speaker 5: It may never be the thing, but it's good that
• 48:49
  Speaker 5: you never got to a place that it's like severed
• 48:52
  Speaker 5: because you never want to be the one that's like, well,
• 48:54
  Speaker 5: I don't even have, you know, and listen, when the,
• 48:57
  Speaker 5: when you put together the wedding and you pay for
• 48:59
  Speaker 5: the whole fricking thing and she, and he's there and
• 49:04
  Speaker 5: they're still, you know, so what? Like, so what? Like that's,
• 49:09
  Speaker 5: That's so interesting. So, um, okay. When she was almost two.
• 49:15
  Speaker 2: Okay. And then we weren't really good even before that.
• 49:18
  Speaker 2: So as soon as I had her, I was like,
• 49:20
  Speaker 2: oh gosh, I'm going to have to make a go
• 49:21
  Speaker 2: of this myself. And then I just thought that being
• 49:24
  Speaker 2: a stand-up comedian was conducive to single motherhood, actually. It's
• 49:28
  Speaker 2: like a stripper. Well, yeah. It is exactly like a stripper.
• 49:31
  Speaker 6: I always feel like strippers always had like a four-year-old son. Yeah.
• 49:33
  Speaker 2: Because you can be home in the day and then
• 49:36
  Speaker 2: you work when they're sleeping.
• 49:38
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 49:38
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah. Yeah.
• 49:40
  Speaker 5: So did you start traveling with her? Like, what was
• 49:43
  Speaker 5: your big break?
• 49:44
  Speaker 2: She came everywhere with me. So the UK is so
• 49:47
  Speaker 2: amazing for stand-up because it is small. But there are
• 49:50
  Speaker 2: gigs in all these towns and cities every night of
• 49:52
  Speaker 2: the week. So I started touring properly, like a small tour.
• 49:56
  Speaker 6: So wait, when did you move from Canada to the UK?
• 49:59
  Speaker 6: Before she was born. Because he was English?
• 50:02
  Speaker 2: No, he was Canadian. Oh. But he wanted to live, well,
• 50:05
  Speaker 2: it's a sad story. He wanted to be a comedian.
• 50:08
  Speaker 2: I know. And I don't really think, I don't know
• 50:11
  Speaker 2: what he's doing.
• 50:12
  Speaker 6: So wait, you met on the comedy circuit.
• 50:14
  Speaker 2: Yeah, which is such a red flag. We shouldn't do that.
• 50:17
  Speaker 2: This is, I know.
• 50:19
  Speaker 6: I never wanted to date a comedian.
• 50:21
  Speaker 5: And I always thought they just wanted to be my
• 50:23
  Speaker 5: friend and give me tags to jokes. And then when
• 50:25
  Speaker 5: they would hit on me, I was like, excuse me,
• 50:27
  Speaker 5: have you looked at yourself and have you looked at me?
• 50:30
  Speaker 2: Why would you think I'd want you? You're broke. I
• 50:32
  Speaker 2: didn't have that confidence. I was like, you're broke. I
• 50:35
  Speaker 2: can fix that for you. You have mental health issues
• 50:38
  Speaker 2: and addiction. I'm your gal. I'm a firstborn daughter, so
• 50:42
  Speaker 2: leave it to me.
• 50:43
  Speaker 6: I love that whole firstborn daughter stuff that's going on too.
• 50:45
  Speaker 2: It's a thing. Are you a firstborn daughter? No, I'm
• 50:47
  Speaker 2: the youngest of five. But isn't that interesting? Because sometimes
• 50:50
  Speaker 2: the youngest has firstborn daughter energy all over again. Interesting.
• 50:55
  Speaker 6: Probably that would be the case with me.
• 50:57
  Speaker 5: I also find it interesting that a lot of comedians
• 51:00
  Speaker 5: and comedy writers are the youngest of big families. And
• 51:03
  Speaker 5: just like all the two presidents are firstborn males.
• 51:06
  Speaker 2: Are they? And they've been killing it.
• 51:09
  Speaker 6: Yeah.
• 51:11
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 51:12
  Speaker 6: So yeah, that's so interesting. But I would bring her
• 51:16
  Speaker 6: with me.
• 51:16
  Speaker 2: Yes. Yes. The first time I did television in the
• 51:19
  Speaker 2: UK was May, 2012. So my daughter was almost three
• 51:24
  Speaker 2: and that went very well. We have a lot of
• 51:26
  Speaker 2: panel shows in the UK, a lot of opportunities to
• 51:28
  Speaker 2: be funny and to be seen on television, which sells
• 51:31
  Speaker 2: tickets to your tour. So then I was always touring
• 51:33
  Speaker 2: after that. And it just, I just got really lucky.
• 51:36
  Speaker 2: My career just got, our life got really great after
• 51:39
  Speaker 2: that quite quickly.
• 51:40
  Speaker 5: Have, have you ever thought of doing like a bigger,
• 51:43
  Speaker 5: like you just brought up Bert Kreischer.
• 51:46
  Speaker 2: So his show is on Netflix right now. Yeah.
• 51:49
  Speaker 5: And it's a scripted show based on his life and
• 51:54
  Speaker 5: his daughters and his, and his wife.
• 51:56
  Speaker 2: And it's his humor. It's edgy. It's a little different.
• 51:59
  Speaker 5: It's not your typical comedians sitcom based on their life story.
• 52:04
  Speaker 5: Then there's Leigh-Anne, which is also on Netflix.
• 52:09
  Speaker 6: She's great.
• 52:10
  Speaker 5: And they changed her life and made her divorced. And
• 52:14
  Speaker 5: that was, at first she was like, Heather, I didn't
• 52:16
  Speaker 5: want to do that.
• 52:18
  Speaker 2: You know, she's like, you know. You've added her to
• 52:22
  Speaker 2: your list of celeb impressions. She's just like, she's so
• 52:26
  Speaker 2: genuine and so sweet. Did you know her on the
• 52:28
  Speaker 2: circuit before she exploded?
• 52:30
  Speaker 5: Well, years ago. I was like trying to sell a
• 52:34
  Speaker 5: show or whatever. And my manager sent me her pilot.
• 52:40
  Speaker 5: I had never heard of her. And it was like,
• 52:42
  Speaker 5: and I was like, who is this Southern like blonde
• 52:44
  Speaker 5: woman that, you know, this is like 15 years ago
• 52:47
  Speaker 5: that has sold a show.
• 52:48
  Speaker 2: How do I not know about her?
• 52:50
  Speaker 5: And I remember there was a whole funny bit about
• 52:52
  Speaker 5: how she has to have sex with her husband in
• 52:55
  Speaker 5: the closet before church so that they could get, chicken
• 52:59
  Speaker 5: after and like, you know, and all they're like her funny,
• 53:01
  Speaker 5: like her, her shtick, you know, and, but really clever
• 53:05
  Speaker 5: and really funny.
• 53:07
  Speaker 6: And so no, all those pilots didn't go.
• 53:09
  Speaker 5: And then she came on my show a couple years ago,
• 53:14
  Speaker 5: just when her standup was really going off. And then
• 53:17
  Speaker 5: of course she has the, the Netflix show, but I
• 53:20
  Speaker 5: like how sometimes they do change it. And it does
• 53:23
  Speaker 5: make sense from a writer's point of view. It is
• 53:25
  Speaker 5: funnier that you're divorced. It is funny to see you
• 53:28
  Speaker 5: date and have hot flashes. All that works. For him,
• 53:33
  Speaker 5: it's funny that they made the daughters younger. And I
• 53:37
  Speaker 5: know that they went to the same all-girl high school
• 53:39
  Speaker 5: that I went to.
• 53:40
  Speaker 7: Oh, really?
• 53:40
  Speaker 5: Yeah, I actually got an email to speak in a
• 53:45
  Speaker 5: class about podcasting from a student.
• 53:49
  Speaker 2: And I was like, Georgia, are you Bert's daughter? She's like, yes.
• 53:55
  Speaker 6: Will you speak in the class? And I was like, yes,
• 53:57
  Speaker 6: this is great.
• 53:58
  Speaker 5: So the story is they're at, you know, a private school, whatever.
• 54:03
  Speaker 2: And it's very edgy. It's pretty sexual. Have you seen it? No.
• 54:08
  Speaker 2: It's sexual, but I believe it's.
• 54:13
  Speaker 5: In the truth of his life as a dedicated dad,
• 54:16
  Speaker 5: but his sense of humor. And But, you know, obviously
• 54:20
  Speaker 5: you make a few of those changes. Have you ever
• 54:25
  Speaker 5: tried to do a show about your life, being a
• 54:28
  Speaker 5: mom and all that?
• 54:29
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I have a series on Netflix called The Duchess.
• 54:32
  Speaker 2: And that is about, it's like a departure from my life.
• 54:35
  Speaker 2: Like you said, there are changes. So it was, it
• 54:40
  Speaker 2: came out right in the height of COVID.
• 54:43
  Speaker 6: That's like not a good time.
• 54:44
  Speaker 2: No, Netflix had this, Brief cancellation. Do you remember the
• 54:48
  Speaker 2: show about the little dancing girls? What was it called?
• 54:51
  Speaker 2: It was very sexual. Well, I think it wasn't, but
• 54:54
  Speaker 2: the branding of it seemed like it was going to be.
• 54:57
  Speaker 2: And they shut down all their social media because people
• 54:59
  Speaker 2: got so upset. I forget what it was called. No,
• 55:01
  Speaker 2: I know what you mean. The Duchess came out that week.
• 55:04
  Speaker 2: So we had like no social media promotion. Some people
• 55:07
  Speaker 2: liked it. Some people really didn't. I loved making it.
• 55:10
  Speaker 8: I think.
• 55:11
  Speaker 2: So it was about what? It was about this single
• 55:15
  Speaker 2: mother who had one daughter and who was considering having
• 55:19
  Speaker 2: another baby with the estranged father, even though they were
• 55:23
  Speaker 2: like arch enemies. And that was something that wasn't true
• 55:27
  Speaker 2: in my real life, obviously. But I just thought, I
• 55:29
  Speaker 2: think I know a lot of women who are dissatisfied
• 55:32
  Speaker 2: in their marriage, but they stay to have one more baby.
• 55:34
  Speaker 6: Yeah.
• 55:34
  Speaker 2: And I think I know a lot of women. Khloe Kardashian. Again,
• 55:38
  Speaker 2: it all comes back to the Kardashians. If Khloe Kardashian
• 55:40
  Speaker 2: could just watch the Duchess, because it really is her life.
• 55:44
  Speaker 2: This woman was fashionable and she was fun and she
• 55:47
  Speaker 2: had a foul mouth. I really based it a little
• 55:50
  Speaker 2: bit on like Kenny fucking Powers. I really loved. Have
• 55:53
  Speaker 2: you seen Kenny Powers? Who was that? I feel like
• 55:55
  Speaker 2: I know that name. It's Danny McBride. And he had
• 55:57
  Speaker 2: an amazing series called Eastbound and Down. Oh, Eastbound and Down.
• 56:02
  Speaker 7: Yes.
• 56:02
  Speaker 2: And I loved that this man was complicated and he swore.
• 56:05
  Speaker 2: And I love male villains. Like Tony Soprano. He's looking
• 56:09
  Speaker 2: for his softness or his redeeming qualities. But for women,
• 56:13
  Speaker 2: we don't really get away with being like that. They
• 56:15
  Speaker 2: want to see our vulnerability. But this woman was not vulnerable.
• 56:19
  Speaker 2: Her vulnerability, I think, was in her hyper-independence as a
• 56:22
  Speaker 2: trauma response. But she was like, I want to have
• 56:25
  Speaker 2: a second kid with this guy. He lived on a boat.
• 56:26
  Speaker 2: He was wild. He was, you know, again, crazy.
• 56:29
  Speaker 6: So in creating this world, so was she a stand-up
• 56:33
  Speaker 6: or no?
• 56:33
  Speaker 3: No.
• 56:34
  Speaker 5: And when you were, like, meeting with execs and stuff,
• 56:37
  Speaker 5: at any point did you pitch it as she's a stand-up?
• 56:39
  Speaker 6: Because they never want you to be a stand-up.
• 56:41
  Speaker 2: They never want— no, I didn't even get that far because
• 56:43
  Speaker 2: I knew they never want you to be a stand-up.
• 56:45
  Speaker 2: So she— She, this angered people, actually. She was a
• 56:51
  Speaker 2: ceramic pottery artist. Okay. But she was really rich. And
• 56:55
  Speaker 2: people all the time, even men that I really admire,
• 56:57
  Speaker 2: men I really love, they'd be like, oh, I had
• 56:59
  Speaker 2: a problem with, why was she rich, though? Why was
• 57:02
  Speaker 2: she rich? And I was like, why is Ricky Gervais'
• 57:04
  Speaker 2: character in Afterlife, who writes for a local print magazine,
• 57:09
  Speaker 2: got a five million pound Hampstead Heath mansion? Nobody asked.
• 57:13
  Speaker 2: why the men are financially solvent on television. Yeah, and
• 57:17
  Speaker 2: if you're going to create a character, why not make
• 57:19
  Speaker 2: her rich? I just wanted her to be rich. I
• 57:20
  Speaker 2: wanted a single mother to be really satisfied, to love
• 57:24
  Speaker 2: her child, and to be rich for no reason. I
• 57:26
  Speaker 2: wanted it to piss people off. But maybe she was
• 57:30
  Speaker 2: like an incredible, you don't know what her backstory is.
• 57:32
  Speaker 2: Maybe she got money from her parents. We don't know
• 57:34
  Speaker 2: anything about her parents. Her ex-husband was a pop star,
• 57:38
  Speaker 2: like a disgraced pop star. Maybe she got money from
• 57:41
  Speaker 2: that split and invested it well. But they just they
• 57:44
  Speaker 2: didn't like it. They were like, why is she rich?
• 57:46
  Speaker 2: And I went, because of your reaction. That's why she's rich.
• 57:49
  Speaker 2: I just wanted this woman to be rich. But that
• 57:51
  Speaker 2: didn't go ahead for a second series. But it was
• 57:53
  Speaker 2: fun to make.
• 57:54
  Speaker 5: It's so unfortunate about timing like that because I kind
• 57:57
  Speaker 5: of had a similar thing with my second special. It
• 58:00
  Speaker 5: was like around the COVID where first they were like, no,
• 58:05
  Speaker 5: we don't want it. And then they're like, oh, shit,
• 58:07
  Speaker 5: this COVID is lasting longer and we're not going to
• 58:09
  Speaker 5: be able to have anything anymore. So maybe we do
• 58:11
  Speaker 5: want it. And then, okay, no, no, we don't. And
• 58:14
  Speaker 5: then I'm like, well, I'll just put it out. And
• 58:16
  Speaker 5: then by that time people were like starting to go
• 58:18
  Speaker 5: out again. And they were like, well, this isn't like, like,
• 58:21
  Speaker 5: you know, like you needed that window of like Tiger King.
• 58:24
  Speaker 7: Yeah.
• 58:24
  Speaker 2: Tiger King. You just never know what's going to.
• 58:28
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 58:28
  Speaker 2: Like it could be a boo-boo.
• 58:30
  Speaker 7: Yeah.
• 58:30
  Speaker 2: It could be, it could be, yeah.
• 58:32
  Speaker 5: It could be a weird thing. Would you ever, does
• 58:35
  Speaker 5: anyone want to explore it now? Because now with this,
• 58:38
  Speaker 5: all these babies or do you just like doing your
• 58:40
  Speaker 5: life on social media and doing standup?
• 58:44
  Speaker 2: I mean, I still do a lot of television in
• 58:46
  Speaker 2: the UK. Yeah.
• 58:47
  Speaker 5: I see you do a lot of like funny improvisational,
• 58:50
  Speaker 5: like game show type of.
• 58:51
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 58:53
  Speaker 6: And you're so quick witted. That's really good for you.
• 58:55
  Speaker 2: Not with these pregnancies. It has turned my brain to mush,
• 58:58
  Speaker 2: but I do have a 2026 goal to like get hot,
• 59:03
  Speaker 2: get thin. I've got the extensions back. Like I'm, going
• 59:07
  Speaker 2: to recover. I'm going to do like surgically whatever it
• 59:09
  Speaker 2: takes I'm going to recover from all of this motherhood
• 59:14
  Speaker 2: stuff I'm going to keep being a good mom but
• 59:15
  Speaker 2: I want to like until you get pregnant again oh
• 59:17
  Speaker 2: my gosh yeah you've scared me now with the Irish
• 59:19
  Speaker 2: egg story but um I don't know about you When
• 59:23
  Speaker 2: you're a stand-up, you're alone a lot. Yeah. And you're
• 59:26
  Speaker 2: your own editor and the audience laughs or they don't
• 59:28
  Speaker 2: laugh and you write your own material and that's it.
• 59:31
  Speaker 2: I did find it a little bit difficult working as
• 59:34
  Speaker 2: part of a team and having to take notes.
• 59:37
  Speaker 6: On your TV show.
• 59:37
  Speaker 2: Yes. And having to justify choices. Do you have a
• 59:41
  Speaker 2: hard time?
• 59:41
  Speaker 5: I had a hard time when I was in that
• 59:43
  Speaker 5: because I've been in that situation a couple times with pilots.
• 59:46
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 59:47
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 59:47
  Speaker 5: Scripted pilots that then didn't go to the next level,
• 59:49
  Speaker 5: but they did buy the pilot.
• 59:50
  Speaker 2: We had to write it.
• 59:51
  Speaker 5: And I had a hard time telling the other co-writer
• 59:55
  Speaker 5: because they always had to put me with like an
• 59:56
  Speaker 5: actual showrunner, which I understood. Like, no, that's dorky. That's corny.
• 1:00:02
  Speaker 6: That's not funny. That's not me. That's low-hanging fruit. I.
• 1:00:08
  Speaker 6: I think I'd be better today in it.
• 1:00:11
  Speaker 2: Yeah. Well, you don't want to be a bitch.
• 1:00:13
  Speaker 5: But I still have a hard time. Well, I definitely
• 1:00:15
  Speaker 5: was not a bitch. I wasn't bitchy enough. I think
• 1:00:18
  Speaker 5: if I would have, and I remember I let somebody
• 1:00:20
  Speaker 5: read it.
• 1:00:20
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 1:00:21
  Speaker 5: This guy that I was like, was like a camera
• 1:00:23
  Speaker 5: guy on the TV show I was working on. And
• 1:00:26
  Speaker 5: he goes, there's like a Xanax joke in here.
• 1:00:30
  Speaker 2: And he goes, I know you've never had a Xanax. Like. Yeah.
• 1:00:35
  Speaker 6: And I'm like, well, the other girl wrote that.
• 1:00:37
  Speaker 2: And I think it's. Relatable.
• 1:00:39
  Speaker 5: Like I am the kind of person that would maybe
• 1:00:41
  Speaker 5: take a Xanax. I'd love to have one while I'm
• 1:00:43
  Speaker 5: in town. I just had a Xanax for the first
• 1:00:45
  Speaker 5: time like two years ago.
• 1:00:46
  Speaker 2: Lovely.
• 1:00:47
  Speaker 5: After like this, you know, whatever, like the doctor gave
• 1:00:52
  Speaker 5: it to me. And then when it ran out, I said, well,
• 1:00:55
  Speaker 5: that was the best sleep of my entire life.
• 1:00:58
  Speaker 6: And I would like to have more. And he's like,
• 1:01:01
  Speaker 6: that's the reason I'll never give it to you.
• 1:01:02
  Speaker 2: I'm like, yeah, bummer.
• 1:01:03
  Speaker 5: But anyway, I just, he just, I remember him being like,
• 1:01:06
  Speaker 5: It just doesn't seem that much of you in this.
• 1:01:10
  Speaker 2: And I was like, well, whatever. Everybody else wants to
• 1:01:14
  Speaker 2: put their own stamp on it, too. And it's great
• 1:01:15
  Speaker 2: to be collaborative. And a lot of these people do
• 1:01:18
  Speaker 2: have more experience than I do, certainly. But I think
• 1:01:21
  Speaker 2: it's something that's lorded over women. of you don't want
• 1:01:24
  Speaker 2: to be a bitch. And you'll hear, so-and-so's a bitch.
• 1:01:28
  Speaker 2: So-and-so's really difficult. We get branded with these terms. And
• 1:01:31
  Speaker 2: then you go into a project and you go, well,
• 1:01:32
  Speaker 2: I don't want to be difficult. So I'll just lay
• 1:01:35
  Speaker 2: down and let everybody do what they want or maybe
• 1:01:39
  Speaker 2: not articulate myself the way that I can in stand-up.
• 1:01:42
  Speaker 2: In stand-up, you can be a bitch to yourself. You
• 1:01:43
  Speaker 2: can be as shrewd as you like, cutting your own
• 1:01:45
  Speaker 2: jokes or changing things. I'm really not good at the
• 1:01:49
  Speaker 2: deliberating and collaborating. And I certainly hate micromanaging people. I
• 1:01:54
  Speaker 2: don't want to tell people what to do at all.
• 1:01:57
  Speaker 2: But it was still fun.
• 1:01:59
  Speaker 5: You mentioned Brooklyn earlier and we kind of like got
• 1:02:01
  Speaker 5: off on it. What do you feel about that whole
• 1:02:06
  Speaker 5: thing I've talked about? As a boy mom, I side
• 1:02:10
  Speaker 5: with Victoria on this one, but what do you think
• 1:02:12
  Speaker 5: of that whole situation with Brooklyn and the wedding and
• 1:02:15
  Speaker 5: all of that?
• 1:02:16
  Speaker 2: Well, I just read in the car and it could
• 1:02:19
  Speaker 2: be false information, but it said that Nicola's billionaire father
• 1:02:23
  Speaker 2: gives her a million dollars a month. And I would,
• 1:02:28
  Speaker 2: I would alienate my entire family for that kind of wealth.
• 1:02:31
  Speaker 2: Of course I would. I'll cut all ties with my
• 1:02:33
  Speaker 2: family now to be married to that girl, including the children.
• 1:02:36
  Speaker 2: Take them. Like, I get, I get. And also it's
• 1:02:39
  Speaker 2: a man.
• 1:02:40
  Speaker 6: Also, he's a boy.
• 1:02:42
  Speaker 7: Look.
• 1:02:42
  Speaker 2: And look, it happened to Harry. It happened. I think
• 1:02:45
  Speaker 2: it happens easier with men. When it happens to a woman.
• 1:02:50
  Speaker 5: Everyone is like, oh, my God, she's, you know, being
• 1:02:55
  Speaker 5: held captive by a narcissist.
• 1:02:58
  Speaker 6: Who's alienated and she's being abused.
• 1:03:00
  Speaker 5: But when it happens to with a man, they're just like, oh, well,
• 1:03:05
  Speaker 5: he got married and he doesn't feel this way anymore.
• 1:03:08
  Speaker 5: And but I do think a part of it is
• 1:03:11
  Speaker 5: the money, you know, like. I don't want for anything
• 1:03:16
  Speaker 5: you don't need for anything, even though he came from
• 1:03:18
  Speaker 5: the Beckhams and that was nice.
• 1:03:20
  Speaker 7: Yeah.
• 1:03:20
  Speaker 6: It's not full-time private jet money.
• 1:03:25
  Speaker 2: You know what I mean? It's still you have to
• 1:03:27
  Speaker 2: hustle and work. Have you heard any juicy scoops around
• 1:03:30
  Speaker 2: the town about her behavior?
• 1:03:33
  Speaker 6: Yeah, that she's really unpleasant.
• 1:03:35
  Speaker 2: Have you heard that?
• 1:03:36
  Speaker 5: Yeah, like very difficult, very bratty and, you know, as
• 1:03:42
  Speaker 5: beautiful as she is and everything.
• 1:03:44
  Speaker 2: So beautiful.
• 1:03:46
  Speaker 5: But then I'm always like, I take that with a
• 1:03:48
  Speaker 5: grain of salt too because I'm like, Sometimes you're.
• 1:03:51
  Speaker 2: Allowed to have a bad day.
• 1:03:52
  Speaker 5: Sometimes you're allowed to not like your hair.
• 1:03:56
  Speaker 2: That hair?
• 1:03:56
  Speaker 5: I'm just saying there was a hairdresser that said she
• 1:03:59
  Speaker 5: was difficult.
• 1:04:00
  Speaker 2: I know he's gone on Reddit and everything, hasn't he?
• 1:04:02
  Speaker 7: Yeah.
• 1:04:02
  Speaker 2: I mean, it's tricky because I love the Beckhams. And
• 1:04:06
  Speaker 2: I think what Brooklyn fails to see is he would
• 1:04:09
  Speaker 2: not even be in an echelon of meeting someone like
• 1:04:12
  Speaker 2: Nicola Peltz if it weren't for the decisions his parents made.
• 1:04:16
  Speaker 6: True, good point.
• 1:04:17
  Speaker 2: Is she dating like Joe Schmo from the taco stand?
• 1:04:19
  Speaker 1: No.
• 1:04:20
  Speaker 2: No. She's married to him because he's a Beckham. And
• 1:04:23
  Speaker 2: then his parents were still figuring it out too. Like
• 1:04:26
  Speaker 2: it is very difficult to come from a working class
• 1:04:28
  Speaker 2: background and be the biggest football star in all the
• 1:04:32
  Speaker 2: world and to come from a regular family and to
• 1:04:35
  Speaker 2: become a Spice Girl.
• 1:04:37
  Speaker 1: Right.
• 1:04:37
  Speaker 2: And the paparazzi were ruthless in the UK at that time.
• 1:04:40
  Speaker 2: Like there was no conversation about boundaries. or mental health
• 1:04:44
  Speaker 2: or anything, and they were, people were so interested in
• 1:04:47
  Speaker 2: them when they got together and then when they were
• 1:04:48
  Speaker 2: pregnant with Brooklyn, and they just had to make choices
• 1:04:51
  Speaker 2: about how to raise him and how much to expose
• 1:04:53
  Speaker 2: him to the world, I guess.
• 1:04:55
  Speaker 5: But looking back, as someone who's covered pop culture for
• 1:04:58
  Speaker 5: 20 years, I don't feel like I know everything about
• 1:05:01
  Speaker 5: Brooklyn the way I know Northwest.
• 1:05:03
  Speaker 2: Right.
• 1:05:04
  Speaker 5: I mean, like, there's a level, and I don't think
• 1:05:06
  Speaker 5: he should really be, I thought it was shocking, the letter,
• 1:05:09
  Speaker 5: I think she wrote it, about how they were, They
• 1:05:13
  Speaker 5: felt they were being paraded around.
• 1:05:15
  Speaker 2: It's a red carpet.
• 1:05:16
  Speaker 5: Like, nobody even knew you were still a... We forgot
• 1:05:21
  Speaker 5: you didn't go to the dad's birthday until you wrote
• 1:05:23
  Speaker 5: that fucking letter.
• 1:05:24
  Speaker 2: Yeah. Like, you.
• 1:05:25
  Speaker 5: I believe she wrote the letter. She wants to stay
• 1:05:28
  Speaker 5: in the thing talked about.
• 1:05:29
  Speaker 7: Yeah.
• 1:05:30
  Speaker 6: And powerful. And they're doing the right thing, the parents,
• 1:05:33
  Speaker 6: by just... Such grace.
• 1:05:35
  Speaker 2: Setting the text.
• 1:05:36
  Speaker 6: Offering to drop off the Starbucks.
• 1:05:39
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 1:05:39
  Speaker 3: Just.
• 1:05:41
  Speaker 5: Know that you're not ghosting them, even though it doesn't
• 1:05:44
  Speaker 5: feel reciprocated.
• 1:05:46
  Speaker 2: Whatever's going on in that family, and they've made it
• 1:05:48
  Speaker 2: our business, but ultimately it's none of our business. I
• 1:05:51
  Speaker 2: think you can distance yourself with grace. You don't have
• 1:05:54
  Speaker 2: to make a public statement like that that you know
• 1:05:56
  Speaker 2: is going to be world news and is going to humiliate.
• 1:05:59
  Speaker 2: And also, again, about womanhood, motherhood, David is not mentioned
• 1:06:04
  Speaker 2: in the letter at all. It's like, my mother danced
• 1:06:07
  Speaker 2: inappropriately on me. It's all really on her being a
• 1:06:10
  Speaker 2: narcissist and on her overstepping. And it's very Nicola versus Victoria.
• 1:06:15
  Speaker 2: It's become this female thing. And if a Spice Girls,
• 1:06:20
  Speaker 2: I don't know. I know some people who were at
• 1:06:21
  Speaker 2: the wedding in question. And I think it has been
• 1:06:26
  Speaker 2: said by DJ Fat Tony. Are you familiar with him?
• 1:06:29
  Speaker 2: He's very thin.
• 1:06:30
  Speaker 5: I saw the clip from The Sun or whatever. Whatever
• 1:06:33
  Speaker 5: the Yuki show is.
• 1:06:34
  Speaker 2: This is all Mark Anthony's fault because he called Victoria
• 1:06:37
  Speaker 2: to the dance floor. What kind of dancing? I don't
• 1:06:39
  Speaker 2: know what she was doing.
• 1:06:40
  Speaker 5: It was supposed to be a Latin dance. So that's
• 1:06:42
  Speaker 5: why he said, put your hands on her hips to
• 1:06:43
  Speaker 5: go like that. And they had already danced. We found
• 1:06:46
  Speaker 5: out later they had already had their first dance. But
• 1:06:48
  Speaker 5: I think that it has made Vicky B incredibly relatable.
• 1:06:51
  Speaker 2: Yeah. Because like, you know, Vicky B... Again, the mother
• 1:06:54
  Speaker 2: cannot do anything right. On the Vino's.
• 1:06:56
  Speaker 7: Yeah.
• 1:06:56
  Speaker 2: If a Spice Girl had like grinded up on me
• 1:06:59
  Speaker 2: at my wedding, it'd be the best day of my life.
• 1:07:01
  Speaker 2: I know. So, I mean, people have actual problems, Brooklyn.
• 1:07:05
  Speaker 2: I also feel....
• 1:07:08
  Speaker 5: When I got married, I didn't feel like it was
• 1:07:12
  Speaker 5: just my day. I did feel like it was my
• 1:07:15
  Speaker 5: family's day and it was my.
• 1:07:16
  Speaker 2: Parents' day.
• 1:07:17
  Speaker 5: Maybe because I was a performer and I was like,
• 1:07:20
  Speaker 5: I've had more, like I never understood why someone was
• 1:07:23
  Speaker 5: nervous walking down the aisle.
• 1:07:24
  Speaker 2: I'm like, it's not like you're doing standup in front
• 1:07:25
  Speaker 2: of hundreds of people. Oh, for some people they can.
• 1:07:28
  Speaker 7: Yeah.
• 1:07:28
  Speaker 5: So, so I get it. And, I get why you
• 1:07:32
  Speaker 5: want it to be the way you want it. But, like,
• 1:07:34
  Speaker 5: I was like, no, I know I'm getting married in
• 1:07:36
  Speaker 5: the church. I know I'm getting married.
• 1:07:38
  Speaker 6: We're going to do it this way. They're paying.
• 1:07:39
  Speaker 2: Did you enjoy your wedding? Did you find it a chore?
• 1:07:43
  Speaker 2: I did. I did.
• 1:07:44
  Speaker 5: But if I was truly to say what I wanted
• 1:07:48
  Speaker 5: or loved, well, I still think I would have gotten
• 1:07:50
  Speaker 5: married in the church because I did always imagine getting
• 1:07:53
  Speaker 5: married in that church.
• 1:07:53
  Speaker 2: You are so religious. You've spoken about God a few
• 1:07:56
  Speaker 2: times today. You're going to heaven. I believe it.
• 1:07:59
  Speaker 5: But I went to Catholic school and the same church
• 1:08:01
  Speaker 5: I used to sit there and like kind of imagine
• 1:08:03
  Speaker 5: my wedding. So like I wrote that in the little
• 1:08:06
  Speaker 5: thing and we did and I would never, it would
• 1:08:09
  Speaker 5: have killed my parents if I didn't do that.
• 1:08:12
  Speaker 6: Fine. And I was just like, it's fine.
• 1:08:15
  Speaker 5: But do I, do I think it's more beautiful to
• 1:08:20
  Speaker 5: get married like on the cliffs of like overlooking the
• 1:08:22
  Speaker 5: ocean and having it be 25 minutes long and.
• 1:08:26
  Speaker 2: Yeah. Would you renew your vows then?
• 1:08:28
  Speaker 6: I think that is, I used to think.
• 1:08:32
  Speaker 5: That I would do it if I was like, if
• 1:08:34
  Speaker 5: it was for like a reality show.
• 1:08:36
  Speaker 2: And someone was paying. I would do it for those reasons.
• 1:08:38
  Speaker 5: I think it's weird, a weird thing to do because
• 1:08:42
  Speaker 5: when you're getting married for the first time, everyone's hopeful.
• 1:08:46
  Speaker 6: Everyone thinks it's beautiful. You're young.
• 1:08:47
  Speaker 5: When you renew your vows, whether it's for a reality
• 1:08:50
  Speaker 5: show in real life, the people there know what shit's
• 1:08:53
  Speaker 5: gone down.
• 1:08:54
  Speaker 7: Yeah.
• 1:08:54
  Speaker 2: Oh my gosh. And they're like, why are we here
• 1:08:57
  Speaker 2: when I know... Who cheated? I knew.
• 1:09:00
  Speaker 5: or I know when they were fighting about which school
• 1:09:02
  Speaker 5: to go to and I like I just feels it
• 1:09:05
  Speaker 5: feels weird if you were to do it I think
• 1:09:07
  Speaker 5: it's really beautiful if like I knew this couple and
• 1:09:11
  Speaker 5: the husband surprised her after 10 years at the church
• 1:09:17
  Speaker 5: with like just like Five couples. Like, it surprised her
• 1:09:19
  Speaker 5: with it. And you don't think he cheated? No, I
• 1:09:22
  Speaker 5: think he just knew that it would be lovely for her.
• 1:09:24
  Speaker 5: So I think it's like you can't have like a
• 1:09:26
  Speaker 5: big thing where you come down the aisle in a
• 1:09:28
  Speaker 5: wedding dress and you're like 60. Like, I think that's weird.
• 1:09:33
  Speaker 5: I think if there's like a weird moment where you
• 1:09:35
  Speaker 5: can do it, maybe.
• 1:09:37
  Speaker 6: Like, I don't know. I think it's weird when celebrities.
• 1:09:40
  Speaker 5: like there's some celebrities that do it every year or something.
• 1:09:43
  Speaker 2: Brooklyn and Nicola have done it already.
• 1:09:45
  Speaker 6: They have?
• 1:09:45
  Speaker 2: Yeah, they had a separate wedding. Oh, because the wedding
• 1:09:46
  Speaker 2: was so traumatic? Yes. Like I'm just like, you know,
• 1:09:49
  Speaker 2: it's like, come on.
• 1:09:51
  Speaker 6: The wedding also is one day.
• 1:09:53
  Speaker 2: I know.
• 1:09:53
  Speaker 5: So I also feel, I have a lot of opinions
• 1:09:55
  Speaker 5: about weddings. I feel also, you don't need to invite anyone.
• 1:10:00
  Speaker 5: I don't care what relative they are. If you feel
• 1:10:02
  Speaker 5: like they are not there for the right reasons, if
• 1:10:05
  Speaker 5: you feel like their vibe is off, I don't care
• 1:10:09
  Speaker 5: if your mom begs you. Don't have them. Now, I
• 1:10:11
  Speaker 5: didn't have that luxury. I had to have those people
• 1:10:14
  Speaker 5: because my mom begged me. But I would say— You
• 1:10:17
  Speaker 5: regret that.
• 1:10:18
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I regret that. I think it should be— take a
• 1:10:21
  Speaker 2: minute then. Like, maybe don't get married this year. Like,
• 1:10:23
  Speaker 2: figure it out.
• 1:10:24
  Speaker 5: Like, or do something smaller and then have a reception
• 1:10:28
  Speaker 5: they can pay for and you don't really care because
• 1:10:29
  Speaker 5: you already had, like, the moments.
• 1:10:31
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 1:10:32
  Speaker 2: I don't know.
• 1:10:32
  Speaker 5: I think it's great that people aren't ordering China anymore.
• 1:10:34
  Speaker 5: I think it's great that people that you can put
• 1:10:37
  Speaker 5: money towards their honeymoon.
• 1:10:38
  Speaker 7: Yeah.
• 1:10:39
  Speaker 6: I think all that stuff is is good. What was
• 1:10:41
  Speaker 6: your wedding like?
• 1:10:42
  Speaker 2: I didn't have one. So we got married at. Oh,
• 1:10:46
  Speaker 2: you'll love this because you work so hard. So my
• 1:10:49
  Speaker 2: husband's Canadian. I'm Irish citizenship. So I'm able to live
• 1:10:52
  Speaker 2: and work in the UK. But for my husband to stay,
• 1:10:56
  Speaker 2: we had only just had like a one night stand
• 1:10:58
  Speaker 2: nine months before and his visa was running out.
• 1:11:01
  Speaker 6: And you were about to give birth?
• 1:11:02
  Speaker 2: No.
• 1:11:03
  Speaker 6: You didn't get pregnant on the first born?
• 1:11:04
  Speaker 2: I took the morning-after pill, but probably. I was mentally
• 1:11:08
  Speaker 2: lucid on that night. I was like, oh, shoot. And
• 1:11:11
  Speaker 2: I looked at my calendar. I was ovulating. I was like, oh,
• 1:11:13
  Speaker 2: my God. I can't be with this man forever. I'm
• 1:11:15
  Speaker 2: going to take the morning-after pill, and then I married
• 1:11:16
  Speaker 2: him nine months later anyway.
• 1:11:17
  Speaker 6: Okay, yeah.
• 1:11:19
  Speaker 2: So I had to marry him to keep him in
• 1:11:21
  Speaker 2: the country. Otherwise, it wasn't something that was important to us.
• 1:11:24
  Speaker 2: He already had a starter marriage with no kids, like
• 1:11:26
  Speaker 2: you described, which I love. And he knows he can't
• 1:11:29
  Speaker 2: do better than me because he's already tried. And a woman,
• 1:11:32
  Speaker 2: a wonderful woman humbled him before he came into my life.
• 1:11:36
  Speaker 2: And so we flew to Copenhagen and we got married
• 1:11:38
  Speaker 2: in a city hall because they don't have any rules
• 1:11:42
  Speaker 2: about how long you have to be there. And then
• 1:11:44
  Speaker 2: we did that at 11 a.m. And then we flew
• 1:11:46
  Speaker 2: back and I did a stand-up job that night in
• 1:11:49
  Speaker 2: my wedding dress, which was like a But how great, though.
• 1:11:53
  Speaker 6: Did you come on stage? I just got married and
• 1:11:55
  Speaker 6: all that.
• 1:11:55
  Speaker 2: Oh, I love that. In a green Valentino, just like
• 1:11:58
  Speaker 2: tea dress. Oh, so you didn't even wear white. No, no, no.
• 1:12:01
  Speaker 6: You're such a rebel.
• 1:12:02
  Speaker 2: That ship has sailed, yeah.
• 1:12:03
  Speaker 5: But do you have a fantasy about ever having a
• 1:12:06
  Speaker 5: whole thing and all the kids are walking in it
• 1:12:09
  Speaker 5: and carrying the rings?
• 1:12:10
  Speaker 2: I wouldn't be able to say nice things about him
• 1:12:12
  Speaker 2: in front of people at this point. You know when
• 1:12:13
  Speaker 2: you've known a man too long? Well, that's what I think, too,
• 1:12:15
  Speaker 2: about the renewing the vows. Could you stand there and
• 1:12:18
  Speaker 2: be like, and? No. It would feel... That's what I'm saying.
• 1:12:21
  Speaker 5: That's why I think renewing vows and stuff is weird.
• 1:12:24
  Speaker 5: It should be at the start of your life together only.
• 1:12:27
  Speaker 2: Before he's pissed you off. Yeah. I love him. I
• 1:12:31
  Speaker 2: really do love him, but... I wouldn't be able to
• 1:12:33
  Speaker 2: do it with a straight face, but is that because
• 1:12:34
  Speaker 2: we're comedians? Can other people just move on from things
• 1:12:37
  Speaker 2: and be like, he is the most wonderful man? I
• 1:12:40
  Speaker 2: don't know.
• 1:12:41
  Speaker 7: Yeah.
• 1:12:42
  Speaker 5: Like, oh, I love it when you sneeze like extra
• 1:12:44
  Speaker 5: loud and clear your throat.
• 1:12:46
  Speaker 2: I love it when you snore like you're showing off
• 1:12:48
  Speaker 2: that you're asleep and I'm awake. Yeah, I love it.
• 1:12:51
  Speaker 2: I love it. I love how much all these kids
• 1:12:53
  Speaker 2: have benefited your biological legacy at the expense of my
• 1:12:56
  Speaker 2: career and figure. Yeah. You know what I mean? I
• 1:13:00
  Speaker 2: have that outlet in my stand-up. I'm actually quite mean
• 1:13:02
  Speaker 2: about my husband in my stand-up. No, does he ever
• 1:13:05
  Speaker 2: care about it? He doesn't. He's just got the best
• 1:13:07
  Speaker 2: sense of humor. He doesn't care. And I think he
• 1:13:09
  Speaker 2: feels so loved. He understands why I'm doing it. And
• 1:13:12
  Speaker 2: then I am. Like you, I turn the other cheek.
• 1:13:15
  Speaker 2: I bounce back quickly. I don't have time to stay mad.
• 1:13:18
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 1:13:18
  Speaker 2: I have this outlet. There, there, one thing, it was
• 1:13:21
  Speaker 2: like one time he was like irritating me or whatever.
• 1:13:23
  Speaker 7: Yeah.
• 1:13:24
  Speaker 5: And now I will be like, I have to perform,
• 1:13:28
  Speaker 5: whether it's the podcast or whatever, I have to perform
• 1:13:31
  Speaker 5: in a couple hours and I have to be in
• 1:13:32
  Speaker 5: a great mood and I have to.
• 1:13:34
  Speaker 2: Talk about my fun, cute life. And so I can't
• 1:13:37
  Speaker 2: take it.
• 1:13:38
  Speaker 5: And the conversation has to end right here.
• 1:13:39
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 1:13:40
  Speaker 5: And then it does because it's like, I cannot carry
• 1:13:45
  Speaker 5: like I, and I could, I could switch it off.
• 1:13:47
  Speaker 5: I could be like, you know, that's what we have
• 1:13:49
  Speaker 5: to do. We have to be like right away and
• 1:13:50
  Speaker 5: be like, how are you guys doing tonight? You know, like,
• 1:13:53
  Speaker 5: and that's the hard part about it. It's like, we
• 1:13:56
  Speaker 5: can't just go, hi, I need a mental health day.
• 1:13:59
  Speaker 2: Although you could now. That kind of stand-up's doing very well.
• 1:14:01
  Speaker 6: Just mental health day or come out mentally hurting.
• 1:14:04
  Speaker 2: Just cry on stage for an hour. Talk about, like,
• 1:14:06
  Speaker 2: everything that happened to you that made you sad that day.
• 1:14:08
  Speaker 2: People love that. Are you being serious? Is that becoming
• 1:14:11
  Speaker 2: a thing? I think so, yeah. Oh, wow. I've seen
• 1:14:15
  Speaker 2: all kinds of things. Are you familiar with the Edinburgh
• 1:14:18
  Speaker 2: Fringe Festival? I've heard of it, but I'm not, yeah.
• 1:14:21
  Speaker 2: It's this amazing festival in Scotland where people do one
• 1:14:25
  Speaker 2: hour and they do it every night for 30 days.
• 1:14:27
  Speaker 2: And it's really character building as a comedian. It's a
• 1:14:31
  Speaker 2: really great thing to do.
• 1:14:33
  Speaker 5: But you do the same hour for 30 days and
• 1:14:37
  Speaker 5: then it goes like what?
• 1:14:38
  Speaker 2: They film it or something? If you're lucky or sometimes
• 1:14:40
  Speaker 2: you might win an award or you just might come
• 1:14:42
  Speaker 2: out of it a better comedian. Okay, great. And people
• 1:14:45
  Speaker 2: come from all over the world. But it is quite
• 1:14:48
  Speaker 2: a thing to have a narrative, especially... like a sad,
• 1:14:52
  Speaker 2: you know, narrative.
• 1:14:53
  Speaker 6: A tragic thing.
• 1:14:54
  Speaker 2: Yeah, there's one comedian.
• 1:14:55
  Speaker 5: So it's more like a one-woman or one-man show versus
• 1:14:58
  Speaker 5: like a stand-up of jokes and stories.
• 1:15:01
  Speaker 2: And sometimes tragedy, as you know, can be really funny
• 1:15:03
  Speaker 2: and it's fine, but I've seen shows about like sexual
• 1:15:07
  Speaker 2: abuse and all kinds of wild things that you wouldn't
• 1:15:09
  Speaker 2: be doing in a club.
• 1:15:10
  Speaker 6: You'd be like.
• 1:15:12
  Speaker 2: Hey, Saturday night at the casino, let me tell you
• 1:15:14
  Speaker 2: about my uncle.
• 1:15:15
  Speaker 5: Do you think there's an unwritten rule of like you
• 1:15:17
  Speaker 5: kind of need that to stand out?
• 1:15:20
  Speaker 2: I think that it is rewarded critically to have that
• 1:15:23
  Speaker 2: kind of narrative.
• 1:15:23
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 1:15:24
  Speaker 2: And I don't have an opinion about whether it's good
• 1:15:26
  Speaker 2: or bad. I think there are no rules. You could
• 1:15:28
  Speaker 2: write a very funny show about anything. Right. But yeah,
• 1:15:30
  Speaker 2: Edinburgh does love a narrative and like something. Yeah. Like
• 1:15:35
  Speaker 2: Baby Reindeer. Are you familiar? Oh, yeah. That was an
• 1:15:37
  Speaker 2: Edinburgh show. Yeah.
• 1:15:39
  Speaker 6: I refer to like haters as baby reindeers.
• 1:15:42
  Speaker 2: Oh.
• 1:15:42
  Speaker 6: Like stalker hater types.
• 1:15:44
  Speaker 2: Fine.
• 1:15:44
  Speaker 6: I say if my friends ever like, I can't believe
• 1:15:46
  Speaker 6: this person wrote it.
• 1:15:47
  Speaker 5: I'm like, imagine the Imagine the baby reindeer.
• 1:15:51
  Speaker 2: Baby reindeer.
• 1:15:51
  Speaker 6: Like lives with her mom, is miserable and jealous of you.
• 1:15:55
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 1:15:55
  Speaker 2: Like don't worry about it. How are you with criticism really?
• 1:15:59
  Speaker 2: You don't mind? I do. Oh, you do? Oh, no.
• 1:16:04
  Speaker 2: I do, but I've worked it out where I don't
• 1:16:06
  Speaker 2: see it anymore.
• 1:16:07
  Speaker 4: Fine.
• 1:16:09
  Speaker 6: I delete and block a lot of people.
• 1:16:11
  Speaker 2: Okay.
• 1:16:12
  Speaker 5: That's why my social media hasn't grown that much. I
• 1:16:14
  Speaker 5: think I blocked like a thousand people.
• 1:16:17
  Speaker 2: You can just mute them and then they still follow you.
• 1:16:19
  Speaker 4: Oh, really?
• 1:16:20
  Speaker 7: Yeah.
• 1:16:20
  Speaker 2: Oh, well. From now on, you'll be muted.
• 1:16:22
  Speaker 8: Okay.
• 1:16:22
  Speaker 2: Also, they don't know they've been muted. I know.
• 1:16:25
  Speaker 5: I mute people that I still am fond of, but
• 1:16:29
  Speaker 5: I just don't like to watch their shit anymore, and
• 1:16:31
  Speaker 5: I don't want the world to know that I'm not
• 1:16:33
  Speaker 5: seeing their stuff. But I thought when people write mean
• 1:16:37
  Speaker 5: things or if I think they're a bot or whatever,
• 1:16:38
  Speaker 5: then I do block and delete. And then, yeah, and
• 1:16:43
  Speaker 5: I don't go to the sites where there's mean things.
• 1:16:45
  Speaker 2: It's just sometimes trolls.
• 1:16:46
  Speaker 5: If it's one little comment under a thing... That doesn't
• 1:16:50
  Speaker 5: really bother me.
• 1:16:51
  Speaker 2: They do take a block as a Medal of Honor, though.
• 1:16:53
  Speaker 2: They'll put in their bio, like, blocked by Heather McDonald. Oh, yeah. Oh,
• 1:16:58
  Speaker 2: you're right.
• 1:16:58
  Speaker 6: Okay, well, maybe that'll stop now, too.
• 1:17:00
  Speaker 5: No, I kind of got over, like, a really good
• 1:17:05
  Speaker 5: hump recently about it. And now I think I could, like,
• 1:17:08
  Speaker 5: do a TED Talk on it.
• 1:17:09
  Speaker 2: Great.
• 1:17:10
  Speaker 5: Of, like, how, what you should do and how you
• 1:17:12
  Speaker 5: should see it to get over it. Because, like I said,
• 1:17:16
  Speaker 5: some of these people are, like, really clever. And they
• 1:17:20
  Speaker 5: like bring up something that I wouldn't even know I
• 1:17:22
  Speaker 5: had an insecurity about.
• 1:17:24
  Speaker 2: You know?
• 1:17:25
  Speaker 5: And it's like, oh, or I feel really bad.
• 1:17:28
  Speaker 6: Like I feel really badly.
• 1:17:29
  Speaker 5: Like that I disappointed them somehow or I didn't do
• 1:17:32
  Speaker 5: my work right or I didn't research this enough or whatever.
• 1:17:36
  Speaker 5: And then finally I was just like, this is a
• 1:17:38
  Speaker 5: comedic conversation podcast.
• 1:17:40
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 1:17:41
  Speaker 5: I fuck up things. I mispronounce things. But one thing
• 1:17:44
  Speaker 5: I do is I put it, I'm absolutely consistent. So
• 1:17:47
  Speaker 5: if you didn't like this show, there's going to be
• 1:17:49
  Speaker 5: another one tomorrow or Thursday. And like, that's it. And
• 1:17:52
  Speaker 5: I just, And I just go, it's not going to matter.
• 1:17:55
  Speaker 2: It does.
• 1:17:56
  Speaker 5: It's not going to make a difference. That's why I
• 1:17:58
  Speaker 5: want to, before we end, I want to say, I
• 1:17:59
  Speaker 5: loved this. You didn't, um, was this from an article
• 1:18:02
  Speaker 5: you did?
• 1:18:02
  Speaker 2: It's beautiful.
• 1:18:04
  Speaker 5: Your quote was, there are lots of men in my
• 1:18:06
  Speaker 5: industry who've been canceled, but still earn millions.
• 1:18:09
  Speaker 6: And isn't that the truth?
• 1:18:11
  Speaker 8: Yeah.
• 1:18:11
  Speaker 2: Well, they always ask you the same questions, don't they?
• 1:18:13
  Speaker 2: In interviews. I was pregnant in this. You can't tell
• 1:18:16
  Speaker 2: my body, but you can tell in my jaw. Um,
• 1:18:19
  Speaker 2: You look great. They'll ask you about sex predators in
• 1:18:23
  Speaker 2: the industry. They ask you about cancellation. They ask you,
• 1:18:25
  Speaker 2: you know, all these things. And I don't know. I'm
• 1:18:29
  Speaker 2: not scared of being canceled myself, but I'm not sure
• 1:18:31
  Speaker 2: it even exists as a thing.
• 1:18:33
  Speaker 6: I don't think it exists anymore.
• 1:18:36
  Speaker 1: No.
• 1:18:36
  Speaker 6: And I don't think it ever did, unless you're like
• 1:18:39
  Speaker 6: Harvey Weinstein.
• 1:18:40
  Speaker 2: Who knows? He could even come back.
• 1:18:42
  Speaker 5: But like, I just think there was a time where it,
• 1:18:46
  Speaker 5: there was a time, like there was a couple years
• 1:18:49
  Speaker 5: where it just it felt like oh you know like
• 1:18:53
  Speaker 5: salem witch hunt kind of a thing where it's like
• 1:18:55
  Speaker 5: who's next and then you and there was a time
• 1:18:57
  Speaker 5: where it was very exciting like i'd get real happy
• 1:19:00
  Speaker 5: i'd wake up but i'm like who's next like i
• 1:19:03
  Speaker 5: don't know i kind of got off on it and
• 1:19:05
  Speaker 5: then there were some that i was like.
• 1:19:08
  Speaker 6: I think this guy just might have been like a
• 1:19:10
  Speaker 6: rude date.
• 1:19:11
  Speaker 2: Right, the quote, bad date.
• 1:19:12
  Speaker 5: Yeah, I'm like, I think he was just, I just
• 1:19:14
  Speaker 5: don't think he had good bedside manner as a player.
• 1:19:17
  Speaker 6: Like, I don't think this guy did anything wrong.
• 1:19:19
  Speaker 5: And that's where I was like, okay, now this has
• 1:19:22
  Speaker 5: kind of gotten to a place where I'm like, we
• 1:19:24
  Speaker 5: don't need to know everything. And then I'm like, some
• 1:19:27
  Speaker 5: of these girls, this is a chance to write an
• 1:19:30
  Speaker 5: article and brag that you banged an ugly comedian.
• 1:19:34
  Speaker 2: You know what I mean? Like there was some of that.
• 1:19:35
  Speaker 6: And then there was a lot that I was like,
• 1:19:37
  Speaker 6: oh shit, you know, the Chris D'Elia's.
• 1:19:40
  Speaker 2: Of it all and all that, you know, still doing
• 1:19:42
  Speaker 2: very well. Well, because the men don't care. And also
• 1:19:45
  Speaker 2: the women forget too. And I'm also like, well, if, uh,
• 1:19:51
  Speaker 2: you know, if the club wants to put that person
• 1:19:53
  Speaker 2: up and that person is selling better than this person,
• 1:19:56
  Speaker 2: I can't blame a club owner for wanting to sell
• 1:19:59
  Speaker 2: as many tickets and make as much money as possible.
• 1:20:01
  Speaker 2: Didn't Bill Cosby do the Riyadh festival? Was he one
• 1:20:05
  Speaker 2: of the comedians who went out there? I think he was.
• 1:20:07
  Speaker 2: Louis C.K. was out there. Wait, is he? So he's
• 1:20:11
  Speaker 2: out of prison. Bill Cosby's touring, yeah. And he's alive.
• 1:20:14
  Speaker 2: I think. Well, he's definitely alive. But I think he
• 1:20:16
  Speaker 2: did this festival. And I used to talk about, I mean,
• 1:20:19
  Speaker 2: at that time.
• 1:20:20
  Speaker 6: Yeah, why would they care?
• 1:20:21
  Speaker 2: It's tricky because there was a time, certainly in Hollywood,
• 1:20:25
  Speaker 2: when a lot of this behavior was frowned upon. It
• 1:20:27
  Speaker 2: wasn't illegal yet. It was just frowned upon. It would happen.
• 1:20:30
  Speaker 2: Women would avoid it.
• 1:20:31
  Speaker 6: People would just joke about it. Casting couch, ha ha.
• 1:20:33
  Speaker 2: Right. And then all of a sudden, it's a thing.
• 1:20:35
  Speaker 2: It's like Tyra Banks right now is being dragged. for
• 1:20:39
  Speaker 2: a lot of the challenges on America's Next Top Model.
• 1:20:42
  Speaker 2: And I think that's mean, because I'm like, why not?
• 1:20:43
  Speaker 5: Well, then she kind of jumped ahead of it, because
• 1:20:45
  Speaker 5: now she's doing a doc that's coming out, and she's
• 1:20:48
  Speaker 5: going to probably.
• 1:20:49
  Speaker 2: Say, hey, you guys all watched it. It was a
• 1:20:52
  Speaker 2: different time. Yeah, things are different.
• 1:20:54
  Speaker 5: And Sarah Silverman said something really good, and I can't
• 1:20:57
  Speaker 5: quote it correctly, but it was basically like, comedy is
• 1:21:02
  Speaker 5: what's relevant, and meaning it is timely. And something that
• 1:21:07
  Speaker 5: someone said 15 years ago shouldn't make you laugh as
• 1:21:10
  Speaker 5: hard as it did 15 years ago.
• 1:21:13
  Speaker 6: And that doesn't make someone bad. Like, you know, it's
• 1:21:18
  Speaker 6: just historical.
• 1:21:19
  Speaker 2: We said childless. Now we say childfree. Right. And by
• 1:21:22
  Speaker 2: the way, it sounds like I'm excusing sex predators. I'm not.
• 1:21:26
  Speaker 8: Right.
• 1:21:27
  Speaker 2: I am excusing Tyra Banks' behavior on America's Next Top
• 1:21:29
  Speaker 2: Model because I did really enjoy that show. I was
• 1:21:31
  Speaker 2: toxic myself back then. And also, like, that was the
• 1:21:34
  Speaker 2: whole thing. Bring it up.
• 1:21:35
  Speaker 5: It's reality, but they're asking for you to do more.
• 1:21:39
  Speaker 5: And whether you're a housewife or whatever, the sooner you
• 1:21:43
  Speaker 5: act erratic and give them a scene that will make
• 1:21:47
  Speaker 5: the TV, the quicker your mic gets removed and you
• 1:21:50
  Speaker 5: can change out and take off your Spanx and get
• 1:21:53
  Speaker 5: into bed. And so sometimes they're like, how much longer?
• 1:21:56
  Speaker 5: Make something happen at this dinner. And then they do.
• 1:21:59
  Speaker 2: I loved your conversation with Spencer Pratt the other day. Oh,
• 1:22:02
  Speaker 2: thank you. And how he just set out to be
• 1:22:04
  Speaker 2: a villain. He understood the game before any of us
• 1:22:07
  Speaker 2: even knew it was a game. Right. Yeah, it was
• 1:22:09
  Speaker 2: really good. Well, thank you. Well, I thoroughly enjoyed you
• 1:22:13
  Speaker 2: coming in.
• 1:22:13
  Speaker 6: I know it was a lot to get here.
• 1:22:15
  Speaker 2: No, look.
• 1:22:16
  Speaker 5: And I appreciate you coming because I thought this was
• 1:22:18
  Speaker 5: a really fun time.
• 1:22:20
  Speaker 2: I've always loved you. I admire you. And I just
• 1:22:22
  Speaker 2: couldn't believe that I got to meet you today. Getting
• 1:22:24
  Speaker 2: to Los Angeles aside. That had nothing to do with
• 1:22:27
  Speaker 2: you and everything to do with my enemies at American Airlines.
• 1:22:33
  Speaker 5: Well, tell everybody where they can follow you and where
• 1:22:36
  Speaker 5: they can see more of your stuff.
• 1:22:38
  Speaker 2: I'm only on Instagram and TikTok at the moment because
• 1:22:41
  Speaker 2: that X site really troubles me. I am on X.
• 1:22:46
  Speaker 2: I've not removed it.
• 1:22:47
  Speaker 5: But I don't post on there very much because by
• 1:22:50
  Speaker 5: the time I post on Instagram and TikTok, I'm like tired.
• 1:22:52
  Speaker 7: Yeah.
• 1:22:53
  Speaker 2: Yeah. I don't even make it to TikTok. I'll be honest.
• 1:22:55
  Speaker 2: A lot of the time, I don't.
• 1:22:56
  Speaker 5: Well, TikTok's been really weird, and I'm getting no views.
• 1:22:59
  Speaker 5: So I'm like, I don't even know if I want
• 1:23:00
  Speaker 5: to take the time to put on there. But I
• 1:23:02
  Speaker 5: have a lot of followers, so I feel like I should.
• 1:23:04
  Speaker 5: And I'll just wait it out until this weird algorithm
• 1:23:07
  Speaker 5: figures out.
• 1:23:07
  Speaker 2: Who knows? But Instagram is what I like the most.
• 1:23:10
  Speaker 2: Me too. So I'm Kath Bum on there, which is weird.
• 1:23:13
  Speaker 2: It's just what my parents called me. Cute. Yeah. And
• 1:23:18
  Speaker 2: do your parents like your act? They do. Yes. So
• 1:23:21
  Speaker 2: my mother... is so glamorous and cool and she's really
• 1:23:24
  Speaker 2: funny and really the kind of woman who would upset
• 1:23:26
  Speaker 2: people yeah um herself you know just very provocative growing
• 1:23:29
  Speaker 2: up yeah um and my dad wasn't really into it
• 1:23:32
  Speaker 2: until I started doing very well and now he loves
• 1:23:34
  Speaker 2: it oh good he was a bit like and then
• 1:23:37
  Speaker 2: when I became very financially solvent he was like fine.
• 1:23:41
  Speaker 5: Okay I love it well everybody check her out see
• 1:23:45
  Speaker 5: if she's coming to your town or whatever you.
• 1:23:49
  Speaker 2: Won't no I'm never traveling again Not until these kids
• 1:23:51
  Speaker 2: are in college. So this is the last time? I
• 1:23:54
  Speaker 2: don't think. Well, yeah.
• 1:23:56
  Speaker 7: Yeah.
• 1:23:56
  Speaker 2: I think motherhood has made it clear to me. I
• 1:23:59
  Speaker 2: can't do it. We're sick. We're here with a newborn. Yeah.
• 1:24:02
  Speaker 2: She started her day today, last night. And I think
• 1:24:06
  Speaker 2: I've been awake for four years. And I'm not going
• 1:24:09
  Speaker 2: to do it again. Okay. So. I think you'll change
• 1:24:12
  Speaker 2: your mind. I think you just.
• 1:24:14
  Speaker 6: But I do think that you should be smart about it.
• 1:24:16
  Speaker 7: Yeah.
• 1:24:17
  Speaker 5: And feel like what kind of a tour or shows
• 1:24:20
  Speaker 5: would work. if it's like one month, one week in
• 1:24:23
  Speaker 5: a month or something, you just have to make it
• 1:24:26
  Speaker 5: work for you.
• 1:24:27
  Speaker 2: I used to come out here all the time. I
• 1:24:29
  Speaker 2: loved it with my daughter, my one chic daughter. I'll
• 1:24:33
  Speaker 2: leave you with this. Just have one chic daughter. Learn
• 1:24:38
  Speaker 2: from my mistakes. And I love my children. I mean,
• 1:24:41
  Speaker 2: I have a stepdaughter who we raised and I have
• 1:24:43
  Speaker 2: two boys.
• 1:24:44
  Speaker 5: And I just saw this in a comment somewhere where
• 1:24:47
  Speaker 5: somebody was talking about families and someone just wrote, this
• 1:24:49
  Speaker 5: was just in the comment.
• 1:24:50
  Speaker 6: It just stuck with me.
• 1:24:51
  Speaker 5: She's like, the only families that I've seen that are
• 1:24:54
  Speaker 5: perfect are a mom and a dad and two daughters only.
• 1:24:59
  Speaker 5: And I thought, and I told my sister that because
• 1:25:01
  Speaker 5: we were like the youngest of five. And at one
• 1:25:03
  Speaker 5: point the others had grown up and they had kind
• 1:25:06
  Speaker 5: of had troubled teen lives. And then my dad and
• 1:25:09
  Speaker 5: mom would just take us on trips. And my dad
• 1:25:12
  Speaker 5: used to just call us the fab four, but they
• 1:25:15
  Speaker 5: were all the kids from the same parents.
• 1:25:17
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 1:25:17
  Speaker 5: Which I thought was like rude to my older sister,
• 1:25:20
  Speaker 5: my older brother.
• 1:25:21
  Speaker 6: But I was like, dad knew it was right. Like
• 1:25:25
  Speaker 6: girls are easy. And we got along.
• 1:25:27
  Speaker 5: So if you're going to have two daughters that are
• 1:25:29
  Speaker 5: best friends and then the dad kind of hangs back
• 1:25:33
  Speaker 5: because he's the dad and it's the mom and the
• 1:25:36
  Speaker 5: daughter show. I mean, I'm just saying if you can
• 1:25:43
  Speaker 5: create it, that's what I would say too.
• 1:25:45
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 1:25:45
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 1:25:46
  Speaker 2: No disrespect to the babies. No disrespect to my sons.
• 1:25:50
  Speaker 5: I just think it's kind of a very easy, just
• 1:25:53
  Speaker 5: think about those families in your life and how easy
• 1:25:57
  Speaker 5: that family was.
• 1:25:59
  Speaker 2: And just tell me if I'm wrong about it. You're
• 1:26:01
  Speaker 2: so right.
• 1:26:03
  Speaker 6: Thank you so much.
• 1:26:04
  Speaker 2: You're the best. Very nice to meet you.
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