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Marcus Aurelius Morning Meditation For Difficult People · The Stoic Handbook with Jon Brooks

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: Hello and welcome to the Stoic Handbook Podcast.
• 0:03
  SPEAKER_00: Today I'm going to be sharing with you one of my premium stoic lessons slash meditations, which reveals the exact technique Emperor of Rome and Stoic Marcus Aurelius used each morning to prepare his mind for meeting difficult individuals.
• 0:20
  SPEAKER_00: This track is featured in my 10-part stoic survival guide for navigating troubled relationships and toxic people course.
• 0:28
  SPEAKER_00: The course is for literally anyone because we all will have relationships of different kinds, romantic relationships, familial relationships, friendships, and whether we like it or not, we are going to have difficulties and tensions, and we'll have to work with insults and slights and rejections, and also dangerous individuals, people that have the potential to derail our emotional well-being.
• 0:57
  SPEAKER_00: And in my ten part course, I set out to cover all of these different types of relationships, both how to navigate difficult and troubled relationships, but also how to flourish in relationships too, and how to communicate skillfully.
• 1:13
  SPEAKER_00: The main technique featured in today's lesson is premeditation of adversity.
• 1:18
  SPEAKER_00: Mark Serelius was Emperor of Rome, the most powerful man in the world, but that didn't stop him from having to deal with a difficult son, Commodus, who some believe was a sociopath, a lazy co-emperor, and many other people in his life who tried to antagonize him or overthrow him.
• 1:37
  SPEAKER_00: His days were filled full of difficult social moments.
• 1:40
  SPEAKER_00: And if you read the meditations of Marcus Aurelius, you'll see that a lot of it is about how we can stay calm and tolerant of other people.
• 1:48
  SPEAKER_00: If you would like to get access to the full course and the entire Stoic Handbook Premium library, you can check it out with a free trial at stoichandbook.supercast.com and a link will be included in the notes.
• 2:01
  SPEAKER_00: Now let's turn our attention to today's lesson.
• 2:04
  SPEAKER_00: Marcus Aurelius' morning meditation that prepared his mind for adversity.
• 2:10
  SPEAKER_00: The impediment to action advances action.
• 2:13
  SPEAKER_00: What stands in the way becomes the way.
• 2:16
  SPEAKER_00: Marcus Aurelius.
• 2:18
  SPEAKER_00: The politician and judge Lord Atkinson once said Power corrupts.
• 2:22
  SPEAKER_00: Absolute power corrupts absolutely.
• 2:25
  SPEAKER_00: This, generally speaking, is true.
• 2:28
  SPEAKER_00: What human have you ever witnessed who has had incredible power across multiple dimensions and has not engaged in some form of corrupt behavior?
• 2:39
  SPEAKER_00: There is, however, a very notable exception to this rule.
• 2:43
  SPEAKER_00: The stoic philosopher king Marcus Aurelius.
• 2:47
  SPEAKER_00: I consider Aurelius to be the most impressive human being who ever lived.
• 2:51
  SPEAKER_00: Why?
• 2:52
  SPEAKER_00: Because Aurelius did have absolute power.
• 2:55
  SPEAKER_00: He was the ruler of the known world.
• 2:57
  SPEAKER_00: He was above the law.
• 2:58
  SPEAKER_00: He could have anyone he wanted killed.
• 3:01
  SPEAKER_00: He had access to thousands of potential partners.
• 3:04
  SPEAKER_00: But there is no evidence that he ever abused his power.
• 3:07
  SPEAKER_00: Furthermore, in his reign of nineteen years, Aurelius would experience constant war, devastating plagues, threats to the throne, the death of eight children, and multiple political infidelities.
• 3:18
  SPEAKER_00: And from what we know about him, he used each of these obstacles as a way to practice his philosophy of life.
• 3:25
  SPEAKER_00: Stoicism.
• 3:26
  SPEAKER_00: A story that illustrates the superhero virtue of Marcus Aurelius was when his old friend and most trusted general, Avidius Cassius, rebelled in Syria after hearing Marcus was close to death.
• 3:38
  SPEAKER_00: Avidius wanted to seize the throne by killing Marcus and his family.
• 3:42
  SPEAKER_00: What would most people do in this situation?
• 3:45
  SPEAKER_00: Most of us, at the very least, would be angry.
• 3:48
  SPEAKER_00: Most of us, given enough power, would take revenge.
• 3:52
  SPEAKER_00: Marcus did nothing.
• 3:54
  SPEAKER_00: And he even kept the betrayal a secret from his troops.
• 3:58
  SPEAKER_00: He waited a while to see if Avidius would calm down and come to his senses.
• 4:03
  SPEAKER_00: When this didn't happen, Marcus set out to, quote, settle this affair well and show to all mankind that there is a right way to deal even with civil wars.
• 4:13
  SPEAKER_00: He marched on Rome to seize Avidius Cassius and forgive him.
• 4:17
  SPEAKER_00: When Marcus got to Egypt, he found that Cassius had already been killed by a lone assassin.
• 4:23
  SPEAKER_00: But what was he to do with the conspirators?
• 4:25
  SPEAKER_00: He let them free too.
• 4:27
  SPEAKER_00: He said, quote, I implore you, the Senate, to keep my reign unstained by the blood of any senator.
• 4:34
  SPEAKER_00: May it never happen, end quote.
• 4:36
  SPEAKER_00: For a man to have as much power as Marcus Aurelius and to consistently try and exercise self-control, courage, virtue, justice, and integrity is, in my opinion, almost superhuman.
• 4:48
  SPEAKER_00: What's particularly amazing about Marcus is that he wrote a book that was never meant to be published or read by anyone, Meditations.
• 4:55
  SPEAKER_00: This book is sort of like a personal development book he wrote to himself.
• 4:59
  SPEAKER_00: And inside we can see how he thinks and the advice he gives himself to follow.
• 5:03
  SPEAKER_00: Contrary to the view that Marcus Aurelius was a cold, emotionless character, the book is in fact filled with instructions to himself on how to become more compassionate and tolerant of other people.
• 5:14
  SPEAKER_00: And in meditations he wrote, quote, begin each day by telling yourself, today I shall be meeting with interference, ingratitude, insolence, disloyalty, ill will, and selfishness.
• 5:25
  SPEAKER_00: All of them due to the offender's ignorance of what is good or evil.
• 5:30
  SPEAKER_00: On the surface this might not seem like much, but Marcus here is practicing a technique called premeditation of adversity.
• 5:38
  SPEAKER_00: He is bringing to mind the possible setbacks, obstacles and annoyances he might face beforehand, at the beginning of the day, as a way to psychologically prepare himself for whatever fortune may bring.
• 5:51
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes people misinterpret premeditation of adversity as negative thinking, or manifesting things you don't want to happen, or bringing bad energy into your life, and so on.
• 6:03
  SPEAKER_00: But this is not what premeditation is.
• 6:05
  SPEAKER_00: Premeditation of adversity is not worrying or ruminating or anxiously looping your thoughts about possible future disasters.
• 6:12
  SPEAKER_00: Premeditation of adversity is the voluntary, calm exploration of the facts of reality.
• 6:18
  SPEAKER_00: There is a reason why the Buddha said death meditation was the most powerful of all meditations.
• 6:23
  SPEAKER_00: There is something incredibly liberating about looking directly at the things that we typically avoid and seeing that they are not as terrible as we initially thought.
• 6:32
  SPEAKER_00: And to really drive home the practical uses of premeditation, think about being on an airplane.
• 6:38
  SPEAKER_00: Would you want to be flown by a pilot who tells you that they aren't going to think about the possibility ever of engine failure or running into a hurricane?
• 6:48
  SPEAKER_00: Or would you rather be on a plane piloted by someone who is very well prepared for these eventualities?
• 6:55
  SPEAKER_00: Prepared for engine failure, prepared for hurricanes, prepared for the wheels not to come down properly, aware of their own bias, a pilot who has premeditated on what could go wrong, but at the same time is confident that things will be fine, and that they are competent, and that they are courageous, and they will do the best of their abilities to make sure that you get back safely.
• 7:17
  SPEAKER_00: This type of attitude is related to James Stockdale's paradox, the idea of realistic optimism.
• 7:23
  SPEAKER_00: We contemplate the reality of our situation, but we have faith and hope and optimism that things will work out well.
• 7:30
  SPEAKER_00: We find the balance, we don't lean too far in either direction.
• 7:33
  SPEAKER_00: When it comes to practicing premeditation of adversity, there are three simple steps.
• 7:38
  SPEAKER_00: Step one, rather than imagining the most likely future, the Stoic practices imagining the worst case scenario, even if it's unlikely to actually happen.
• 7:47
  SPEAKER_00: Step two, the Stoic pictures the feared scenario as if it's happening right now rather than in the future.
• 7:53
  SPEAKER_00: So not that one day she will be exiled, but that she is in exile already.
• 7:58
  SPEAKER_00: And step three is rehearsal.
• 8:00
  SPEAKER_00: So the primary rationale for the Stoic to practice premeditation of adversity is to rehearse freedom from irrational distress.
• 8:08
  SPEAKER_00: So while the Stoic is imagining this misfortune, they calmly persuade themselves that these external misfortunes are really indifferent and to be accepted as merely situations calling on us to exhibit virtue and strength of character.
• 8:21
  SPEAKER_00: And as we practice premeditation of adversity and become more skilled in it, as Marcus did, we can expect four magical things to happen.
• 8:28
  SPEAKER_00: The setbacks that do happen don't surprise us and hurt us more than they ought to.
• 8:33
  SPEAKER_00: We get to practice responding to setbacks with wisdom and therefore become more skilled at navigating difficult situations.
• 8:40
  SPEAKER_00: We can make logistical preparations to reduce the likelihood of such misfortune actually happening, and this is a really important one.
• 8:47
  SPEAKER_00: We can feel deep gratitude that the things that we're picturing are not happening now, that right now things are fine, and we can cherish that.
• 8:56
  SPEAKER_00: Now, like most stoic techniques, the benefit is to be felt in the practice itself rather than just the theorizing about the practice.
• 9:04
  SPEAKER_00: So resist the temptation to think too much about this and give this practice a go.
• 9:10
  SPEAKER_00: So sitting comfortably with eyes open or closed, contemplate some of the things that could go wrong today in your social life and relationships.
• 9:19
  SPEAKER_00: Who are you going to meet?
• 9:22
  SPEAKER_02: What might they say?
• 11:05
  SPEAKER_02: Or does your framing and interpretation of them make them bad?
• 11:19
  SPEAKER_00: And seeing as we're practicing letting go of unhelpful distress, what other interpretation can you think of when contemplating these situations that turns the imagined adversity into some kind of advantage, opportunity, or lesson?
• 11:48
  SPEAKER_01: What strength of character or virtue can you unlock in these situations?
• 12:06
  SPEAKER_00: Marcus Aurelius found tolerance, acceptance, and compassion in his adversity.
• 12:12
  SPEAKER_00: What can you find in yours?
• 12:13
  SPEAKER_00: What gems are available if you do a little digging?
• 12:53
  SPEAKER_00: I want you to recognize that as of right now, right here, everything is more or less fine.
• 13:00
  SPEAKER_00: You are breathing, you are listening, the world is not falling apart around you in a literal sense.
• 13:06
  SPEAKER_00: There is no emergency.
• 13:09
  SPEAKER_00: Right now, in this moment, you are okay.
• 13:14
  SPEAKER_00: And whatever your situation, wherever you find yourself, in the future, today or tomorrow or next week, it will also be right now, then.
• 13:25
  SPEAKER_00: And maybe when you shrink your perception down to the present moment, things might not be quite as catastrophic as the narrative in your mind suggests.
• 13:37
  SPEAKER_00: And with this thought, I'll see you back here tomorrow for day three of the Stoic Survival Guide to Navigating Troubled Relationships and Toxic People.
• 13:48
  SPEAKER_00: If you found value in this exercise and you'd like to go deeper, you can get access to the entire Stoic Handbook Premium library of meditations and lessons and QA's at stoichandbook.supercast.com.
• 14:02
  SPEAKER_00: I'll see you in the next episode.
• 14:04
  SPEAKER_00: Fate Permitting.