Latest / Kingdom Spouse Disappointment | Healing, Heartbreak, God Revealed Relationship, The One, / When What You Believed God Said, Didn’t Happen

Transcript

When What You Believed God Said, Didn’t Happen · Kingdom Spouse Disappointment | Healing, Heartbreak, God Revealed Relationship, The One,

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  I'm really glad you're here. If you have found this episode or this episode
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  found you, there is a really great chance you know exactly what I'm about to talk about.
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  That moment when something you believe God said, but it didn't happen.
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  Maybe it was a relationship. Maybe it was someone you were sure was your future spouse.
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  Maybe it wasn't even fully a relationship maybe just a deep knowing that you
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  had and then it all fell apart or never even came together at all.
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  Have you ever believed god showed you your future spouse only for the relationship
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  to end or never even begin?
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  You are not alone. Welcome to Kingdom Spouse Disappointment,
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  a space for honest conversations about Christian dating, heartbreak, and healing.
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  If you've ever said, I thought God told me they were the one, this podcast is for you.
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  Here, we process the pain, rebuild the trust in God, and rediscover hope,
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  one honest conversation at a time.
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  So yes, welcome back everyone to Kingdom Spouse Disappointment. Yay!
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  Now for those who are here after listening to my first episode, welcome back.
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  I am super glad that you made it.
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  And for those who are tuning
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  in for your very first time thank you
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  so much for joining me and
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  you you can go over and check out my previous episode which
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  is also my premiere episode now
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  so today we
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  are talking about that moment yes
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  that moment that moment when the christian relationship you believed God revealed
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  or promised left you in tears and a heartbreak because it did not materialize or it ended.
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  That moment when something in you didn't just hurt and break emotionally.
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  It also felt like it hurt and broke you spiritually. It felt like what you were
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  certain of no longer existed.
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  As if the floor you were standing on just disappeared from underneath you.
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  That moment when you
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  realize that wait this isn't
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  happening or wait this
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  is ending or even wait god i thought this was you and in that instance everything
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  probably started to feel unstable for you.
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  Not just the relationship you had or thought you would have but.
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  In essence also your sense of
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  hearing god your sense of
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  being led your sense
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  of certainty and clarity and
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  i can definitely relate to that and for me to be honest the pain felt really
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  deep because it was not just I would say the typical type of heartbreak.
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  No it didn't feel like the normal heartbreak. It didn't feel like the usual
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  or the typical type of heartbreak.
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  It wasn't just oh my heart is broken as I lost the relationship with someone I loved.
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  No it felt more like my heart is broken because I lost something I believe God gave me like yeah God.
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  The one who is supposed to be for me, not against me. The one who should be gracious.
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  The one who should be the giver of good gifts.
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  I lost a relationship that I believe that God promised me.
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  That's how it feels. And, you know, I think the reason why this breakup hits differently for you,
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  hits differently for me,
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  the reason why it hits so differently is because now it's like you're not only
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  just grieving the breakup or the heartbreak.
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  But it's it's more complex than that it's it's like you're grieving I would say the future.
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  That you saw or hoped for
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  in this relationship the the
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  meaning that you attached to to
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  this promise the the trust
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  that you had in what
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  you believed was was God's voice and and maybe it it even hits so hard so deep
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  because you're also grieving I guess a version of yourself that.
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  That felt confident, that felt sure, that felt spiritually grounded.
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  You don't just feel like the relationship not coming to pass broke your heart.
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  It might even feel like God, your God, broke your heart.
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  And, you know, I remember when I was going through this,
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  the questions never seemed to
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  quit bombarding my mind and I'm
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  sure that there are several questions that just
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  seem to be bombarding your mind as
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  well questions such as was that really god did I make it up am I the lulu did
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  I hear wrong can I trust myself spiritually can I even trust God the same way again.
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  Thus, in addition to the 20 million thoughts racing through your head,
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  here comes an uninvited guest that creeps in quietly, and that is shame.
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  Not necessarily always loud, but it just feels so present.
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  Shame.
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  And it can sound like, oh, I should have known better.
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  You know, other people don't get this wrong. Or I feel embarrassed for even believing this.
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  Or am I truly a Christian if this is happening to me?
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  So instead of talking about it, you probably carry it alone.
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  And that is what happened to me. initially instead
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  of getting community instead of
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  seeking support I hid as I isolated I didn't talk about it I was too afraid
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  to talk about it I felt like an idiot I felt ashamed,
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  I didn't talk about it instead I carried it alone.
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  I carried it alone and I don't want you to do the same thing.
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  And yes, I know you have a lot of thoughts racing in your mind and to get rid
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  of the shame that you might be feeling or the hurt you might be feeling.
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  And you're probably like, Lori, yes, you have been saying exactly what I've been experiencing.
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  So what do I do now? But before we try to fix anything, we have to honestly
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  acknowledge what is broken, right?
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  And before we try to rebuild, we have to excavate and dig.
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  So let's dress the wound. Let's dress the wound before we slap a band-aid on it.
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  And today what we will be using
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  to dress the wound is the word
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  of God and yes I know you feel hurt by God
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  and you might not be interested in hearing about him right
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  now but his word is definitely the
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  ultimate dressing for wounds and
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  no I'm not coming with a rejoice always
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  is type of scripture but i'm
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  just sharing something that is relatable
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  and i am going to read something where the psalmist really questioned god and
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  really poured out his true emotions before god and i'm reading this because
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  this is what i want you to do.
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  This is what I want us to do, right?
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  This is us acknowledging what is broken before fixing it.
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  So I am going to read from Psalm 13.
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  And this is from the New Living Translation.
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  So it says, O Lord, how long will you forget me? Forever?
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  How long will you look the other way?
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  How long must I struggle with the anguish in my soul, with the sorrow in my heart every day?
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  How long will my enemy have
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  the upper hand turn and answer
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  me oh lord my god restore the
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  sparkle to my eyes or I will die and this is psalm 13 from 1 verse 1 to 3 and
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  as you go through this week Thank you.
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  You might feel exactly like this, like, God, have you forgotten me?
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  Are you still trustworthy?
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  How long will you allow me to struggle with this sorrow, with this hurt every
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  day, every hour, every minute, every second?
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  Like, God, you need to help me or I will die.
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  You might be feeling like that.
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  And that's okay, right? That is okay.
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  And before before we wrap up i just want to give you i would say a little action item,
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  i want you to think about the last
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  time you felt like you were
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  not going to make it the last time you felt
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  like you were gonna die you were gonna give up
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  that this was the last of you the last time you felt like this before no that
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  is I want you to just reflect back on that moment or those moments and then I want you to look at.
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  Where you were after those moments or how you overcame those moments and,
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  and that is my my hope
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  and prayer for you that even though
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  you can't see it or feel it or
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  believe it right now that you will overcome that
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  so yeah that's my
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  action item or homework no i don't like
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  the word homework that sounds too much
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  like school right that's my little action item
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  for you just just think about
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  a time when you felt like
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  you're not gonna make it a time
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  when you felt like as the psalmist said like
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  you are gonna die and just think
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  about how you overcame it so thank you once again for tuning in to kingdom spouses
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  appointment my name is laurie your host and be blessed have a great week.