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Leading Through Life Transitions: When Everything Feels Uncertain · The Boujee Multipreneur

• 0:16
  SPEAKER_00: Hi, welcome back to the Bougie Multipreneur.
• 0:19
  SPEAKER_00: I'm your host, Dr.
• 0:20
  SPEAKER_00: Hillary, and today we're kicking up a brand new series called Leading Through Life Transitions.
• 0:28
  SPEAKER_00: At this time of recording, I have a lot of life transitions, and I felt, you know, this is a great topic to explore because at some point we're all gonna have life transitions, right?
• 0:42
  SPEAKER_00: So this topic is one we don't always plan to talk about, but when you're in it, you realize that many people actually need it.
• 0:53
  SPEAKER_00: Because here's the truth life doesn't pause when things feel uncertain, and neither does business.
• 1:00
  SPEAKER_00: Your patients and clients still need you, your team needs you, your responsibilities still exist, but internally things might feel different.
• 1:11
  SPEAKER_00: There are seasons when you feel clear and confident and grounded, and then there's seasons where you show up, but behind the scenes, things feel a little shaky.
• 1:22
  SPEAKER_00: You make decisions, but you second guess them.
• 1:25
  SPEAKER_00: You're leading, but you don't feel as anchored as usual.
• 1:29
  SPEAKER_00: You're functioning, but you're also processing.
• 1:33
  SPEAKER_00: I want to talk about that version of leadership today.
• 1:38
  SPEAKER_00: I think we should normalize this experience that we're going through because we've been taught something that's not true.
• 1:45
  SPEAKER_00: We've been taught that strong leaders are always certain, that business owners always feel confident, that you don't feel clear, you should wait.
• 1:56
  SPEAKER_00: If things aren't clear in your mind, you should wait.
• 1:59
  SPEAKER_00: But that's not reality.
• 2:01
  SPEAKER_00: Real leadership is continuing to show up when things aren't perfectly aligned.
• 2:08
  SPEAKER_00: It looks like making decisions without having every answer.
• 2:13
  SPEAKER_00: And it looks like carrying responsibility while also being human.
• 2:19
  SPEAKER_00: With my life transitions lately, a couple years ago, I went through a passing of my father that was very traumatic for me watching him pass.
• 2:29
  SPEAKER_00: And it really shook me, and it shook the business quite a bit, also, if I can be honest.
• 2:35
  SPEAKER_00: And it took me a long time to come back.
• 2:38
  SPEAKER_00: And there wasn't anyone that I knew that had been through it that could give me the great advice.
• 2:45
  SPEAKER_00: Everyone was just like, you'll get through this, right?
• 2:47
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, we all do, but at the time, if you're like me, you're type A, you're a planner, you need to know what to expect.
• 2:55
  SPEAKER_00: When are you gonna feel better?
• 2:57
  SPEAKER_00: When's life gonna get back to quote normal?
• 3:00
  SPEAKER_00: Or is it ever?
• 3:02
  SPEAKER_00: So something that's changed my perspective lately is you don't need full clarity to move forward.
• 3:09
  SPEAKER_00: You just need enough clarity for the next step.
• 3:12
  SPEAKER_00: I think many of us get stuck because we think we need to figure everything out first, but that's what keeps us frozen.
• 3:20
  SPEAKER_00: And I know for certain I'm that person that plans everything out.
• 3:25
  SPEAKER_00: And you know, if something doesn't go according to the plan, it's kind of chaos, right?
• 3:31
  SPEAKER_00: But let's be honest, when you're in a season of uncertainty, your brain wants control, it wants answers, it wants a timeline, it wants guarantees.
• 3:41
  SPEAKER_00: And when it doesn't get those things, it starts to spiral.
• 3:46
  SPEAKER_00: You start overthinking, second guessing, delaying decisions.
• 3:51
  SPEAKER_00: But what if instead of trying to control everything, we focused on what is the next right step?
• 3:58
  SPEAKER_00: Not the next 10 steps, not the final outcome, but just the next thing in front of you.
• 4:06
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes the next step is small.
• 4:08
  SPEAKER_00: It's answering the email, it's having that conversation you've been avoiding, it's showing up for your patients and clients, it's leading your team.
• 4:18
  SPEAKER_00: And then those small steps create a momentum.
• 4:23
  SPEAKER_00: Another life-changing moment I'm going through at this current time is divorce and separation and the trauma behind all of that.
• 4:34
  SPEAKER_00: And one step at a time, especially being at work and especially being appreciated by my patients and my team, is what has really helped me through.
• 4:46
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know what the end is.
• 4:47
  SPEAKER_00: And at the time of this recording, I don't even know when I'm gonna post this, to be honest, because it's it's a lot and it's a lot of hurt.
• 4:55
  SPEAKER_00: But that one small step every day, I have no idea what the future holds.
• 5:00
  SPEAKER_00: I literally don't know what tomorrow holds.
• 5:02
  SPEAKER_00: Every day seems messed up.
• 5:05
  SPEAKER_00: I know that we've all felt that way.
• 5:07
  SPEAKER_00: But when things feel uncertain, we need to come back to three things.
• 5:12
  SPEAKER_00: Control is what's in front of you.
• 5:15
  SPEAKER_00: It's not next month, not next year, not every possible outcome.
• 5:20
  SPEAKER_00: It's just today.
• 5:21
  SPEAKER_00: Because when you try to control everything, you end up controlling nothing.
• 5:26
  SPEAKER_00: This is really powerful for me because this is literally what my brain likes to do.
• 5:31
  SPEAKER_00: It likes to control and think of every possible outcome.
• 5:34
  SPEAKER_00: I lay awake at night thinking of everything that could happen, even if it never happens.
• 5:41
  SPEAKER_00: You need to protect your mental space.
• 5:44
  SPEAKER_00: Not everything deserves access to you right now.
• 5:47
  SPEAKER_00: Not every conversation, not every opinion, not every what if this happens?
• 5:52
  SPEAKER_00: What if this happens?
• 5:54
  SPEAKER_00: You are allowed to protect your energy.
• 5:58
  SPEAKER_00: We need to keep our standards even when emotions are high.
• 6:03
  SPEAKER_00: Your business deserves structure.
• 6:05
  SPEAKER_00: Your patients and clients deserve that care.
• 6:08
  SPEAKER_00: Your team deserves leadership.
• 6:11
  SPEAKER_00: And if you're navigating something personally like me, you can still operate at a high level.
• 6:18
  SPEAKER_00: Keep your standards high, even when your emotions are high.
• 6:26
  SPEAKER_00: Reframe what strength is to you.
• 6:29
  SPEAKER_00: And I think this is really important to say that strength doesn't mean you have everything figured out.
• 6:36
  SPEAKER_00: Strength means you keep showing up while you're figuring it out.
• 6:42
  SPEAKER_00: I feel this way right now.
• 6:44
  SPEAKER_00: I don't feel like I'm strong.
• 6:47
  SPEAKER_00: I feel like a shitty business owner, shitty mom, you know, um, a failed wife.
• 6:54
  SPEAKER_00: And just don't feel strong in general, right?
• 6:57
  SPEAKER_00: But I keep showing up.
• 6:59
  SPEAKER_00: I keep putting full, like my full integrity out there.
• 7:04
  SPEAKER_00: I don't waver, I don't lower to someone else's standards, I don't fight mean.
• 7:11
  SPEAKER_00: I keep myself where I'm meant to be.
• 7:15
  SPEAKER_00: And honestly, I think every day, like, is this, you know, am I am I happy with my actions?
• 7:20
  SPEAKER_00: Would God be happy with my actions?
• 7:22
  SPEAKER_00: So if you're in a season right now where things are uncertain, I want you to hear this.
• 7:27
  SPEAKER_00: You are not behind, you're not doing it wrong, you are not off track, you're just in a transition.
• 7:35
  SPEAKER_00: And transitions are where growth happens.
• 7:39
  SPEAKER_00: I know this from past experiences, and I bet you do too, that sometimes when change happens, even though we don't see right then why, and we ask God, why or why is this happening to me?
• 7:54
  SPEAKER_00: That's when he shows us what he's what we're meant for, um, and where the universe is gonna provide for you.
• 8:03
  SPEAKER_00: So I hope that this resonated a little bit with you.
• 8:07
  SPEAKER_00: And if you're not going through a tough time right now, maybe share it with someone that is.
• 8:12
  SPEAKER_00: Because some of these things, even though I'm teaching it on this podcast right now, I literally need to tell myself every day, and maybe I need to listen to my own podcast every single day until I get out of this rut.
• 8:26
  SPEAKER_00: You know, when you hit rock bottom, sometimes you gotta claw your way to the top.
• 8:31
  SPEAKER_00: I guess I'm just gonna grow some longer fingernails.
• 8:34
  SPEAKER_00: Just kidding.
• 8:35
  SPEAKER_00: So if you are a business owner and you're navigating your growth and your leadership, and life is real all at the same time.
• 8:44
  SPEAKER_00: This is exactly how I help with coaching with my HHJ consulting.
• 8:48
  SPEAKER_00: I will see you in the next episode.
• 8:51
  SPEAKER_00: I have a few more with this topic.
• 8:53
  SPEAKER_00: And just remember one step at a time, you're a moneymaker.