Latest / Presented by Speaking Human / With Further Ado Episode #16: Yogurt Cannon for the Interim Wizard

Transcript

With Further Ado Episode #16: Yogurt Cannon for the Interim Wizard · Presented by Speaking Human

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Tell me if this sounds familiar. You're listening to a podcast,
• 0:04
  Speaker 1: attending a presentation, or watching a live stream, and after
• 0:08
  Speaker 1: a whole bunch of chatter, the hosts finally get around
• 0:12
  Speaker 1: to the reason for the whole shebang, saying, without further ado,
• 0:18
  Speaker 1: it happens all the time at almost every event going
• 0:22
  Speaker 1: back to the beginning of recorded history. But what happens
• 0:26
  Speaker 1: at the host never actually get to the main attraction.
• 0:30
  Speaker 2: What if the whole thing were just the ado? This
• 0:36
  Speaker 2: is that show? Get this party started, Patrick, it's your
• 0:54
  Speaker 2: recall what you should because it's your life. We both
• 0:58
  Speaker 2: cut the cable cord a while go, long ago, actually
• 1:01
  Speaker 2: now many moons ago, many many moons. But I want
• 1:04
  Speaker 2: to see if you know what's still going on on
• 1:07
  Speaker 2: network TV.
• 1:08
  Speaker 3: Mmmm. This is gonna be where I fail miserably, I'm sure.
• 1:13
  Speaker 2: So I got some questions for you. I'm gonna describe
• 1:17
  Speaker 2: some shows that were on TV this past week using
• 1:22
  Speaker 2: their TV Guide descriptions, and I want to see if
• 1:25
  Speaker 2: you can name the show.
• 1:26
  Speaker 3: Okay, so this is network TV.
• 1:28
  Speaker 2: We're talking you know, ABC, CBS, NBC, Box, Prime Time. Okay,
• 1:35
  Speaker 2: all right, I think you probably can get some of these.
• 1:37
  Speaker 3: I doubt it, but okay.
• 1:39
  Speaker 2: Yeah, you know you're down with network TV. Yeah, all right,
• 1:43
  Speaker 2: So here's our first description. Bold entrepreneurs pitch inventive concepts,
• 1:48
  Speaker 2: including wildfire and tornado proof homes, cologne infused body butter,
• 1:54
  Speaker 2: an allergy free cafe, and specialized traction pads.
• 1:58
  Speaker 3: I think that would be like Shark Tank or something.
• 2:01
  Speaker 2: That's Shark Tank, all right on ABC that's still on,
• 2:05
  Speaker 2: that's still on, it's still going. They play it a lot.
• 2:07
  Speaker 2: I think there's one night where it was just like
• 2:09
  Speaker 2: all Shark Tank on AGENCY.
• 2:12
  Speaker 3: Of course, that's all they have left on network TV
• 2:15
  Speaker 3: is just Shark Tank.
• 2:16
  Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, all right, so you're doing good and you
• 2:18
  Speaker 2: know your network TV. Here's another one. As the race
• 2:22
  Speaker 2: to two million dollars draws closer, idols and advantages come
• 2:26
  Speaker 2: to the forefront. Then a self proclaimed rat at the
• 2:31
  Speaker 2: Manu Levu camp spills information in hopes of leading to
• 2:35
  Speaker 2: personal triumph.
• 2:37
  Speaker 3: Uh. Is it a game show of sorts? I don't know, yeah,
• 2:41
  Speaker 3: of sorts, like Jeopardy or something not Jeopardy.
• 2:45
  Speaker 2: Think think a little different, a little more like reality
• 2:48
  Speaker 2: TV type game.
• 2:49
  Speaker 3: Oh, like Survivor.
• 2:51
  Speaker 2: That's yes, it's Survivor.
• 2:52
  Speaker 3: Is it Survivor.
• 2:53
  Speaker 2: Okay, Yeah, it's Survivor on CBS, the fiftieth.
• 2:56
  Speaker 3: Season, fiftieth Yeah, oh my god, they've survived a lot
• 3:01
  Speaker 3: at this point.
• 3:03
  Speaker 2: Yeah, we've done a lot of surviving.
• 3:05
  Speaker 3: Is that NBC?
• 3:06
  Speaker 2: That's CBS?
• 3:06
  Speaker 3: CBS. I was gonna say, because certain networks have you know,
• 3:11
  Speaker 3: they cancel shows left and right. Like we used to
• 3:14
  Speaker 3: joke about NBC. You know, you'd never know if your
• 3:16
  Speaker 3: show is going to make it to a second seasons.
• 3:18
  Speaker 3: So it's like, I don't know if I want to
• 3:19
  Speaker 3: invest the time. Survivor tends to be. I mean, it's
• 3:23
  Speaker 3: survived countless. I mean that must be like one of
• 3:26
  Speaker 3: their big hitters.
• 3:27
  Speaker 2: I guess people are still watching. That's still popular. I
• 3:31
  Speaker 2: don't know what the I should have done the top
• 3:33
  Speaker 2: ten shows on network TV because I don't know what
• 3:35
  Speaker 2: that looks like anymore, but I'm guessing Survivors probably up
• 3:38
  Speaker 2: there still.
• 3:39
  Speaker 3: Yeah, it's got to be. I would think, all.
• 3:41
  Speaker 2: Right, I got one more for you. Let's see if
• 3:43
  Speaker 2: you can complete it and get them all right. Severa
• 3:46
  Speaker 2: Ride and Kid welcome a surprise visitor. Herman and Cindy
• 3:51
  Speaker 2: renew their valves. Mooch received some encouraging news. Mooch, I
• 4:00
  Speaker 2: think his name's Moch. It's m o U c h Mouch.
• 4:04
  Speaker 3: I feel like I recognize some of these names. I
• 4:08
  Speaker 3: don't know why read it again.
• 4:10
  Speaker 2: Sever Ride and Kid welcome a surprise visitor. Herman and
• 4:15
  Speaker 2: Cindy renew their vows. Mouch receives some encouraging news. This
• 4:20
  Speaker 2: one is on NBC.
• 4:22
  Speaker 3: So this is a sitcom.
• 4:24
  Speaker 2: No, not a sitcom. No, it's an hour long show.
• 4:28
  Speaker 3: Okay, is it like, uh, Love Island?
• 4:31
  Speaker 2: It's not Love Island. It's a you know, drama, fictional drama.
• 4:35
  Speaker 3: Oh, it's a fictional drama. Mouch. That's thrown me off
• 4:41
  Speaker 3: because I want to I don't know what that is.
• 4:44
  Speaker 3: Herman though, I love that there's a person named Herman.
• 4:48
  Speaker 2: As a Herman.
• 4:49
  Speaker 3: I mean that's fantastic.
• 4:51
  Speaker 2: And Cindy, sever Riding Kid.
• 4:53
  Speaker 3: All very interesting names. I have. No I was I
• 4:58
  Speaker 3: would say, like ncis that can't be because that's CBS.
• 5:01
  Speaker 2: Would help if I told you there's like a bunch
• 5:03
  Speaker 2: of shows on this channel that are all kind of
• 5:07
  Speaker 2: based around the same city.
• 5:09
  Speaker 3: Oh, is it like, uh Chicago PD or.
• 5:13
  Speaker 2: You're in the realm?
• 5:14
  Speaker 3: It is, it's Chicago Chicago PD. It's not Chicago p D,
• 5:18
  Speaker 3: but it's Chicago FD. No Fire, Chicago Fire, Chicago Fire.
• 5:24
  Speaker 2: That's it.
• 5:25
  Speaker 3: Yeah, Chicago FD, that's Fire Department. I'll do that.
• 5:28
  Speaker 2: Part of NBC's Chicago lineup, which could include Chicago Med,
• 5:34
  Speaker 2: Chicago Fire, and Chicago p D.
• 5:37
  Speaker 1: M H.
• 5:38
  Speaker 3: Those are winners.
• 5:40
  Speaker 2: I mean there must be some people who sit there
• 5:42
  Speaker 2: and they're like, oh right, it's time for the Chicago
• 5:45
  Speaker 2: Night and there are three hours of Chicago dramas and
• 5:49
  Speaker 2: you've done this where you've seen a minute of network
• 5:51
  Speaker 2: TV and you're like, what is this?
• 5:53
  Speaker 3: Well, you know what's funny is I think before we
• 5:55
  Speaker 3: cut the cable cord, I'm pretty sure that there was
• 5:58
  Speaker 3: like a Chicago Fire on then I think it might
• 6:02
  Speaker 3: be the same. I think that was the first one,
• 6:04
  Speaker 3: and then they did Chicago p D and Chicago Man.
• 6:07
  Speaker 3: I think Chicago Fire was the first of that series.
• 6:10
  Speaker 2: We are on season fifteen of Chicago Fire.
• 6:13
  Speaker 3: Yeah, so that's probably true. We were cutting the cable
• 6:16
  Speaker 3: cord right after maybe like a season or two of
• 6:19
  Speaker 3: that show. And I've seen the trailers like on Peacock
• 6:23
  Speaker 3: for that Chicago PD. And I think the guy who
• 6:27
  Speaker 3: plays like the main He was like the antagonist in
• 6:31
  Speaker 3: the early seasons of Chicago Fire, like he played like
• 6:34
  Speaker 3: a slightly bad cop version, and then he became a favorite,
• 6:40
  Speaker 3: and then they moved him into it. He made it.
• 6:42
  Speaker 3: He's got his own show, you know, the Chicago p
• 6:44
  Speaker 3: D Show, because you came from Chicago Fire.
• 6:46
  Speaker 2: It's like, you know, yeah, spin this guy off and
• 6:49
  Speaker 2: keep it going forever.
• 6:51
  Speaker 3: Mm hmmm, it's maddening madst Yeah, this is gonna be
• 7:01
  Speaker 3: a new segment that we just literally came up with
• 7:06
  Speaker 3: not that long ago.
• 7:07
  Speaker 2: I feel like, yeah, this is a recent one.
• 7:09
  Speaker 3: So this one is we take real corporate language from
• 7:12
  Speaker 3: a company's mission statement or their website, and then we
• 7:15
  Speaker 3: turn it into a mad libs you know the ones
• 7:18
  Speaker 3: that we had when we were kids, where you take nouns, verbs, adjectives, names, animals,
• 7:23
  Speaker 3: blah blah blah, and then you read that revised version.
• 7:26
  Speaker 3: So Shad and I discussed we're basically gonna get the
• 7:30
  Speaker 3: words from the person first. You won't even know which
• 7:34
  Speaker 3: company we're pulling from until the very end. Then we'll
• 7:37
  Speaker 3: read the actual paragraphs or statements or whatever we grab
• 7:41
  Speaker 3: from them. I think this should be pretty fun.
• 7:43
  Speaker 2: I mean, it's you know, it's a shot in the dark.
• 7:45
  Speaker 2: We'll see what happens here. Could work, could not work.
• 7:48
  Speaker 2: We'll find out trying things out.
• 7:51
  Speaker 3: Do you want to go first? Do you want me
• 7:52
  Speaker 3: to go first?
• 7:53
  Speaker 2: I have no preference. Do you want to Why don't
• 7:55
  Speaker 2: you go first?
• 7:56
  Speaker 3: Okay? So I need some words from you. Don't overthink.
• 8:00
  Speaker 3: I tried to make these actually pretty easy, you know,
• 8:04
  Speaker 3: like sometimes when you go oh an adjective, or oh
• 8:07
  Speaker 3: this or that. I did something a little different where
• 8:10
  Speaker 3: I used things. So give me something people obsess over something.
• 8:16
  Speaker 2: People obsess over vinyl.
• 8:22
  Speaker 3: Okay, I see what you're doing there. Give name an animal?
• 8:27
  Speaker 2: An animal? How about a pig?
• 8:29
  Speaker 3: Okay? Name a job title janitor? Okay? Name a weird liquid?
• 8:37
  Speaker 2: Do slime count as a liquid? That's the first thing
• 8:39
  Speaker 2: that comes to mind. I don't know if that's a liquid.
• 8:41
  Speaker 3: Though, can't be well?
• 8:43
  Speaker 2: Allow it? Okay?
• 8:45
  Speaker 3: Yeah it could be. Where should you never hold a meeting?
• 8:49
  Speaker 2: Bathroom?
• 8:50
  Speaker 3: Okay? What's a word people say in business meetings?
• 8:56
  Speaker 2: Action item? Two words?
• 9:00
  Speaker 3: Two words?
• 9:00
  Speaker 2: Will that work? Probably?
• 9:02
  Speaker 3: I think so?
• 9:04
  Speaker 1: Uh?
• 9:04
  Speaker 3: Name a magical creature?
• 9:07
  Speaker 2: You know. The first thing that comes to mind is unicorn.
• 9:10
  Speaker 2: That seems too easy, though, so I'm gonna say sasquatch.
• 9:14
  Speaker 3: Okay, all right, name a snack?
• 9:18
  Speaker 2: How about cheese? Okay?
• 9:21
  Speaker 3: What's something boring people do?
• 9:24
  Speaker 2: Golf?
• 9:26
  Speaker 3: Okay, you don't like golf, clearly I do, and I
• 9:30
  Speaker 3: like golf you like? Okay? Name something expensive Rolex? Okay.
• 9:36
  Speaker 3: Make a fake company department, a.
• 9:40
  Speaker 2: Fake company department. How about the innovation department?
• 9:47
  Speaker 3: Okay? Uh? Name a celebrity who seems tired.
• 9:51
  Speaker 2: Celebrity who seems tired. Who's a celebrity who seems tired?
• 10:00
  Speaker 3: Al pacino? Oh yeah, it's funny. You get a little
• 10:05
  Speaker 3: insight to the to the psyche. Here. What's something that
• 10:09
  Speaker 3: makes people emotional death? It's true, it's true.
• 10:14
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 10:15
  Speaker 3: Name something found in a kitchen, a whisk. It's always
• 10:19
  Speaker 3: funny to hear someone else's choices here.
• 10:21
  Speaker 2: Yeah, Well, you just, you know, get an image in
• 10:22
  Speaker 2: your mind and what pops out. It's like I see
• 10:25
  Speaker 2: the kitchen and then the items like highlighted. Yeah, I
• 10:28
  Speaker 2: love that.
• 10:29
  Speaker 3: What's something annoying people do?
• 10:32
  Speaker 2: Let's see something annoying people do? Uh repeat themselves?
• 10:38
  Speaker 3: Ah yeah, not stutter, but repeat yeah.
• 10:43
  Speaker 1: Uh.
• 10:43
  Speaker 3: Name a form of.
• 10:44
  Speaker 2: Entertainment a form of entertainment movies.
• 10:49
  Speaker 3: Okay, name a piece of technology.
• 10:53
  Speaker 2: How about hoverboards?
• 10:57
  Speaker 3: Okay, like that. What's some thing that happens at a
• 11:01
  Speaker 3: doctor's office?
• 11:03
  Speaker 2: A exam, A rectal exam, A rectal exam. Let's put
• 11:09
  Speaker 2: that in there. Let's make it a specific exam.
• 11:12
  Speaker 3: Okay, Name a service no one understands marketing, right, it's
• 11:20
  Speaker 3: gonna get an amen. Name a group of dramatic things.
• 11:26
  Speaker 2: A group of dramatic things.
• 11:27
  Speaker 3: This is probably the hardest one.
• 11:30
  Speaker 2: Yeah, actors.
• 11:33
  Speaker 3: Okay, yeah, that could work. That could work, all right,
• 11:37
  Speaker 3: So I'll put this into the thing about all right. Now,
• 11:45
  Speaker 3: last thing, give me a company name. How about a
• 11:52
  Speaker 3: do o Tronics, A do otronics? All right, So here
• 11:58
  Speaker 3: is the mad libs for ad duotronics. A Duotronics is
• 12:04
  Speaker 3: guided by four principles vinyl obsession rather than pig focus,
• 12:10
  Speaker 3: passion for slime, commitment to action, item excellence, and long
• 12:15
  Speaker 3: term gulfs. We strive to be the bathroom's most death company,
• 12:19
  Speaker 3: the bathroom's best janitor, and the bathroom's safest place to
• 12:23
  Speaker 3: repeat themselves. A Duotronics mission is to make sasquatches lives
• 12:29
  Speaker 3: better and easier every day by relentlessly repeating themselves. On
• 12:34
  Speaker 3: their behalf, we work to provide broad actors, rolex and
• 12:39
  Speaker 3: cheese across a range of innovation department experiences including risks, shopping, hoverboards, computing,
• 12:48
  Speaker 3: movie entertainment, consumer risk devices, marketing, rectal exams, al Pacino services,
• 12:56
  Speaker 3: and more. Okay, so who.
• 13:01
  Speaker 2: Wouldn't want a business that provides risks, you know, harberboards
• 13:05
  Speaker 2: and al Pacino's services.
• 13:08
  Speaker 3: Al Pacino Services is great, you know?
• 13:10
  Speaker 2: Yeah?
• 13:10
  Speaker 3: Yeah, all right, So the original of that is Amazon.
• 13:15
  Speaker 2: Amazon on about.
• 13:17
  Speaker 3: Us and Amazon's about us section In their news section,
• 13:21
  Speaker 3: it says Amazon is guided by four principles customer obsession
• 13:25
  Speaker 3: rather than competitor focus, passion for invention, commitment to operational excellence,
• 13:31
  Speaker 3: and long term thinking. We strive to be Earth's most
• 13:35
  Speaker 3: customer centric company, Earth's best employer, and Earth's safest place
• 13:42
  Speaker 3: to work. They say this. Amazon's mission is to make
• 13:45
  Speaker 3: customers lives better and easier every day by relentlessly inventing.
• 13:49
  Speaker 3: On their behalf, we work to provide broad selection, value,
• 13:53
  Speaker 3: and convenience across a range of customer experiences, including online shopping,
• 13:58
  Speaker 3: cloud computing, stream entertainment, consumer electronic devices, advertising, healthcare, AI services,
• 14:05
  Speaker 3: and more. So they don't offer al pacino services, which
• 14:10
  Speaker 3: is really sad.
• 14:11
  Speaker 2: I mean they might after hearing this, they might want to.
• 14:14
  Speaker 2: They might consider it once they know there's demand for
• 14:18
  Speaker 2: risks and al pacino and rectal exams of course.
• 14:21
  Speaker 3: But you know, at ad Dootronics, they live by some principles,
• 14:26
  Speaker 3: and they're not always the best principles.
• 14:29
  Speaker 2: I mean, I do Atronics. It's the only place you
• 14:32
  Speaker 2: can get all these things.
• 14:33
  Speaker 3: I like, we strive to be the bathroom's most deaf company.
• 14:39
  Speaker 2: Well, you also don't want to repeat yourself in the bathroom.
• 14:43
  Speaker 3: Yeah you don't.
• 14:44
  Speaker 2: That's a bad sign, like something's gone wrong the bathroom's
• 14:48
  Speaker 2: best janitor. I mean you do you do want that?
• 14:53
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean that actually makes sense.
• 14:56
  Speaker 2: Yeah, that's a good thing. So that worked out pretty well.
• 14:59
  Speaker 3: Yeah, you know, inside of there, there was some things
• 15:02
  Speaker 3: that needed a little tweaking.
• 15:04
  Speaker 2: Didn't quite click. Yeah, as happens with mad libs. Yeah,
• 15:08
  Speaker 2: it is fun seeing what like what pops into your
• 15:11
  Speaker 2: head though.
• 15:12
  Speaker 3: Yeah, that part's the funnest I think, uh huh, you know,
• 15:15
  Speaker 3: the most mad part of it.
• 15:17
  Speaker 2: Yeah, as you're about to find out. So okay, let's
• 15:22
  Speaker 2: do yours now, same, you know, same kind of thing,
• 15:24
  Speaker 2: you know, just keep it simple for see what pops
• 15:27
  Speaker 2: into your head. Okay, as we go through these, So
• 15:31
  Speaker 2: let's start off here. The first thing I'm gonna need
• 15:33
  Speaker 2: from you is a weird verb.
• 15:36
  Speaker 3: A weird verb.
• 15:38
  Speaker 2: Yeah, you can define that for yourself.
• 15:41
  Speaker 3: Uh, what would I use there? Jingling? I don't know?
• 15:45
  Speaker 1: Is that?
• 15:46
  Speaker 3: Okay?
• 15:46
  Speaker 2: Yeah? It works? Okay. Then we need an adjective for.
• 15:51
  Speaker 3: A wet floor, slippery.
• 15:54
  Speaker 2: How about plural farm animal fainting goats, fainting goats, very specific?
• 16:05
  Speaker 2: And then we need a collective noun.
• 16:07
  Speaker 3: For a group, a group. How about cattle. I don't know,
• 16:18
  Speaker 3: cattle is a group of cows, right.
• 16:21
  Speaker 2: Cattle is a group?
• 16:22
  Speaker 3: All right?
• 16:23
  Speaker 2: An objects found in a basement.
• 16:27
  Speaker 3: Ghost, It's not really an object, but I.
• 16:33
  Speaker 2: Mean we'll count it. Okay. How about a verb related
• 16:37
  Speaker 2: to a trampoline.
• 16:39
  Speaker 3: Oh, I want to say, you know, like instead of jumping, right, impaling?
• 16:46
  Speaker 2: Okay, Like you fall off and you impale yourself on something?
• 16:50
  Speaker 3: Yeah?
• 16:50
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, I like where your mind's at. Okay, And
• 16:54
  Speaker 2: then we've got how about a noun for a sticky substance.
• 16:59
  Speaker 3: I want to say a syrup.
• 17:02
  Speaker 2: It's a good one. A verb ending an iron g
• 17:07
  Speaker 2: loathing nice, a fictional or strange place.
• 17:13
  Speaker 3: Uh, Hogwarts, Hogwarts, Harry.
• 17:17
  Speaker 2: How about a word for a bad smell?
• 17:20
  Speaker 3: Oo? Putrid, putred, very very good.
• 17:27
  Speaker 2: Plural body parts so not nose body parts?
• 17:33
  Speaker 3: Oh okay? Cheeks cheeks.
• 17:37
  Speaker 2: Guess could have been noses.
• 17:39
  Speaker 3: I didn't say butt cheeks, but it could be butt cheeks.
• 17:42
  Speaker 2: Do you want it to be butt cheeks?
• 17:45
  Speaker 3: It could be be funnier maybe, I don't know.
• 17:48
  Speaker 2: Yeah, making butt cheeks a specific location.
• 17:52
  Speaker 3: The park, the park. It's not a park, it's the park,
• 17:57
  Speaker 3: so it's specific.
• 17:58
  Speaker 2: Yeah. A sleep deprived adjective. I don't know what that means.
• 18:04
  Speaker 3: Sleep deprived adjective? Would you just say sleepy sleep deprived?
• 18:14
  Speaker 3: I mean if you're sleep deprived, you're sleepy.
• 18:16
  Speaker 2: You know what I mean? Exhausted exhausted? Exhausted is good.
• 18:22
  Speaker 2: Last one a gross food item.
• 18:24
  Speaker 3: Oh, I would say trying to think of like the
• 18:28
  Speaker 3: thing that I think is the grossest.
• 18:30
  Speaker 2: Now, what's the grossest to you?
• 18:33
  Speaker 3: I like lots of things, But what would I never
• 18:36
  Speaker 3: ever ever eat? Monkey brains?
• 18:41
  Speaker 2: Like the ones from Temple of Doom.
• 18:42
  Speaker 3: Yeah, like the ones from Indiana Jones and the Temple
• 18:44
  Speaker 3: of doom m hm. When they're like oh, and they
• 18:48
  Speaker 3: set them in front of her and she like freaks
• 18:50
  Speaker 3: out pull off the top of the skull. Uh huh Yeah, yeah,
• 18:54
  Speaker 3: they don't look great. Stake surprise also not so good.
• 19:00
  Speaker 2: Yeah, all right, let's compute. Here we go. Here's your
• 19:09
  Speaker 2: mission statement. Our mission is to jingle that artificial slippery
• 19:15
  Speaker 2: intelligence AI systems that are generally smarter than fainting goats
• 19:20
  Speaker 2: and benefits all of cattle. If AGI is successfully created,
• 19:26
  Speaker 2: this ghost could help us in pale humanity by increasing
• 19:30
  Speaker 2: syrup loathing the global hogwarts and aiding in the discovery
• 19:35
  Speaker 2: of new putrid knowledge that changes the limits of possibility.
• 19:40
  Speaker 2: AGI has the potential to give everyone incredible new butt cheeks.
• 19:44
  Speaker 2: We can imagine a park where all of us have
• 19:48
  Speaker 2: access to help with almost any exhausted task, providing a
• 19:52
  Speaker 2: great monkey brains for human ingenuity and creativity. Some of
• 19:58
  Speaker 2: that works, some of it were work, some of it doesn't.
• 20:01
  Speaker 2: It probably needed more like yours had more, probably needed
• 20:05
  Speaker 2: to replace more. But let me give you the full one.
• 20:09
  Speaker 2: So this comes from the open AI website. Our mission
• 20:13
  Speaker 2: is to ensure that artificial general intelligence AI systems that
• 20:17
  Speaker 2: are generally smarter than humans, benefits all of humanity. If
• 20:23
  Speaker 2: AGI is successfully created, this technology could help us elevate
• 20:27
  Speaker 2: humanity by increasing abundance, turbocharging the global economy, and aiding
• 20:33
  Speaker 2: in the discovery of new scientific knowledge that changes the
• 20:36
  Speaker 2: limits of possibility. AGI is the potential to give everyone
• 20:40
  Speaker 2: incredible new capabilities. We can imagine a world where all
• 20:44
  Speaker 2: of us have access to help with almost any cognitive task,
• 20:47
  Speaker 2: providing a great force multiplier for human ingenuity and creativity.
• 20:53
  Speaker 2: H So, THEIRS does not include butt cheeks or monkey
• 20:56
  Speaker 2: brains or future knowledge, but it does have quite a
• 21:02
  Speaker 2: bit of jargon in there, quite a bit of jargon. Yeah.
• 21:06
  Speaker 2: I think my favorite parts of the new one is
• 21:09
  Speaker 2: this ghost could help us in pale humanity.
• 21:13
  Speaker 3: Yeah. Yeah, there's like just really great one liners that
• 21:20
  Speaker 3: you can That's all you can get out of it.
• 21:23
  Speaker 2: It's that these little pieces where you're like, oh that
• 21:26
  Speaker 2: that kind of hits and kind of fits with the
• 21:28
  Speaker 2: brand a little bit.
• 21:30
  Speaker 3: Yeah, if you have a passion for slime, a commitment
• 21:33
  Speaker 3: to action, item excellence, and long term golf, you know that.
• 21:37
  Speaker 2: It's Yeah, I like long term golf, but.
• 21:40
  Speaker 3: You know, nothing like al Pacino services.
• 21:44
  Speaker 2: That's I mean, that's a gem, and there's also agi
• 21:47
  Speaker 2: has the potential to give everyone incredible new butt cheeks.
• 21:51
  Speaker 3: Call it, call it, call it callin oscaf, go ahead
• 21:58
  Speaker 3: and bend over.
• 22:00
  Speaker 2: So colonoscopy this is the segment where we provide colon
• 22:06
  Speaker 2: extensions for things. You know, so many titles now it's
• 22:10
  Speaker 2: not just the title itself. It's like the title, then
• 22:13
  Speaker 2: there's a colon, then there's more to the title. It's
• 22:16
  Speaker 2: like a thing. Now it's very common the colon. Everybody
• 22:18
  Speaker 2: loves the colon. So in colonoscopy, we take titles lacking
• 22:24
  Speaker 2: the colon and we open them up and add the
• 22:28
  Speaker 2: colon into them, give them a little more. So in
• 22:32
  Speaker 2: this instance of this, we're gonna do that for three
• 22:36
  Speaker 2: movies coming out this summer. They could be whatever, you know,
• 22:39
  Speaker 2: whichever one's. The example we have here is, you know,
• 22:44
  Speaker 2: the Breadwinner is a movie coming out, So an example
• 22:47
  Speaker 2: of that would be the Breadwinner colon. Pretends you don't
• 22:51
  Speaker 2: notice we just recycled mister Mom forty years later. That one's,
• 22:56
  Speaker 2: you know, poking a little fun at the Breadwinner. They
• 22:59
  Speaker 2: don't have to be like that, but no gives you
• 23:02
  Speaker 2: an idea of how the colon oscopy works.
• 23:05
  Speaker 3: Yeah, Yeah, the colonoscopy is fun. Because we talk about
• 23:08
  Speaker 3: this all the time on movies and marketing. Movies do
• 23:12
  Speaker 3: tend to sometimes use the colon liberally and it could
• 23:17
  Speaker 3: get a little wonky.
• 23:19
  Speaker 2: A little much well much m h. So here we're
• 23:22
  Speaker 2: playing with that. I struggle with these a little bit.
• 23:26
  Speaker 2: I was like, Ah, what are some of these And
• 23:28
  Speaker 2: some of them I'm like, oh, this could be serious,
• 23:30
  Speaker 2: and some of them I'm like this kind of jokey.
• 23:32
  Speaker 2: So yeah, it's back and forth a little bit.
• 23:35
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I try to be like kind of fun with them.
• 23:38
  Speaker 2: What's one that you have got?
• 23:40
  Speaker 3: So I've got coyote versus acme okay colon Roger Rabbit
• 23:47
  Speaker 3: not included, hmmm. And that's sort of a play on
• 23:50
  Speaker 3: the fact that, you know, it looks like Roger Rabbit,
• 23:53
  Speaker 3: but just today's version of Roger Rabbit. You know, with
• 23:57
  Speaker 3: like human and animation together, you could also a coyote
• 24:01
  Speaker 3: versus acme colon Aaron Brockovich vibes, because it feels a
• 24:06
  Speaker 3: lot like, you know, corporate greed in America against the
• 24:11
  Speaker 3: little guy who is the coyote in this case.
• 24:14
  Speaker 2: You could also do for that one something like Coyote
• 24:17
  Speaker 2: versus Acme Colan finally off the shelf because that movie famously,
• 24:23
  Speaker 2: you know, Warner Brothers shelved it for tax purposes.
• 24:27
  Speaker 3: That's true. I like that, and I think I would
• 24:29
  Speaker 3: go a step further and be like Coyote versus Acme Colan.
• 24:33
  Speaker 3: Tune into streaming for this one because it's Looney Tunes.
• 24:36
  Speaker 3: You're gonna tune into streaming. Oh, because it's straight to
• 24:39
  Speaker 3: streaming essentially.
• 24:41
  Speaker 2: I don't think it is. I think it's coming out
• 24:42
  Speaker 2: to the movie.
• 24:43
  Speaker 3: Theater, I know, but it's you know that this is
• 24:45
  Speaker 3: gonna be like a day in the theater and they're
• 24:47
  Speaker 3: gonna be like this, this made ten dollars.
• 24:52
  Speaker 2: Wow. Not having high hopes for Coyote versus Acme, I.
• 24:55
  Speaker 3: Really want, you know, like I want this movie to
• 24:58
  Speaker 3: do well. I don't know why I do, because it's
• 24:59
  Speaker 3: not even my draft list, you know.
• 25:01
  Speaker 2: Yeah. I wanted to as well, because I like Looney
• 25:05
  Speaker 2: Tunes and because you know, it got such a bad
• 25:08
  Speaker 2: deal it did.
• 25:09
  Speaker 3: One last one I had for that one was Coyote
• 25:12
  Speaker 3: versus Acme Colon. No Coyote was harmed during the making
• 25:15
  Speaker 3: of this film because he's always getting hurt.
• 25:17
  Speaker 2: Yeah, but we don't know. He could die at the end.
• 25:21
  Speaker 3: I hope they don't kill off coyote.
• 25:24
  Speaker 2: Or he wins the he wins the case and then
• 25:26
  Speaker 2: he walks out and it like explodes.
• 25:29
  Speaker 3: Oh poor coyote.
• 25:31
  Speaker 2: Can't win that guy. So here's one, you know, one
• 25:33
  Speaker 2: of the big movies coming out that's on my draft team,
• 25:36
  Speaker 2: this summer Toy Story five, no colon with this one,
• 25:39
  Speaker 2: just toy story five. What do we don't know anything?
• 25:43
  Speaker 2: How do we know anything without the colon? So as
• 25:45
  Speaker 2: we know in this one, it's about kind of like
• 25:47
  Speaker 2: a tablet comes in. Yeah, so I had Toy Story
• 25:51
  Speaker 2: five colon digital annihilation, you know, build up the stakes
• 25:56
  Speaker 2: a little bit here. Yeah, so that's one option, Toy
• 25:59
  Speaker 2: Story five colon back to the store or out of
• 26:03
  Speaker 2: the box. I like out of the box a little bit, Yeah,
• 26:07
  Speaker 2: because something new is coming out of the box.
• 26:09
  Speaker 3: Why don't they have colon's after they're I don't.
• 26:12
  Speaker 2: Know, they're just not into the colon. Toy Story five
• 26:15
  Speaker 2: plugged in. Mmm, we got the new toy that you
• 26:20
  Speaker 2: know is electronic.
• 26:22
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 26:23
  Speaker 2: And then there's this one. I think you're like, Toy
• 26:25
  Speaker 2: Story five Electric.
• 26:28
  Speaker 3: Tabletic glue, tabletic glue.
• 26:31
  Speaker 2: You know, like bugaloo.
• 26:32
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, but tablet a glue. What if it was
• 26:36
  Speaker 3: toy story five colon USB C or lightning port availability
• 26:42
  Speaker 3: question mark. I did one Masters of the Universe because
• 26:47
  Speaker 3: this one was especially for you after we talked during
• 26:51
  Speaker 3: our summer movie marketing draft. Masters of the Universe colon
• 26:57
  Speaker 3: where nostalgia goes to die.
• 27:00
  Speaker 2: That's a good one.
• 27:01
  Speaker 3: Masters of the Universe Colon will need the power of
• 27:05
  Speaker 3: Grace call to survive. I knew you would like those
• 27:09
  Speaker 3: because they're poking fun at Masters of the Universe and
• 27:13
  Speaker 3: it's potential for failure.
• 27:16
  Speaker 2: Yeah, which I'm hoping for. Is that's something you know
• 27:19
  Speaker 2: on movies and marketing. We had a draft and you
• 27:21
  Speaker 2: drafted that one that was on your team. I was
• 27:24
  Speaker 2: trying to get something going Master the Universe. Couldn't quite
• 27:26
  Speaker 2: get there, but I one of the ones I had
• 27:28
  Speaker 2: was Master the Universe colon by the Power of IP
• 27:34
  Speaker 2: or you know, Master the Universe colon. If we wanted
• 27:37
  Speaker 2: something better, I've got the power, which I was like,
• 27:40
  Speaker 2: it's kind of it's kind of catchy.
• 27:42
  Speaker 3: Yeah, it is catchy. Masters of the Universe. You know,
• 27:46
  Speaker 3: we'll see how it does it's tough sell? Yeah, how
• 27:49
  Speaker 3: about the Odyssey?
• 27:51
  Speaker 2: What do you got for the Odyssey?
• 27:52
  Speaker 3: The Odyssey Colon, A man refuses to ask directions for
• 27:55
  Speaker 3: three hours.
• 27:58
  Speaker 2: That's good. That's good.
• 28:00
  Speaker 3: I thought you'd like that because you love Christopher Nolan
• 28:04
  Speaker 3: in the Odyssey. Is Matt Damon the main character in
• 28:08
  Speaker 3: this movie?
• 28:09
  Speaker 2: I believe he is? Yeah, Okay, does that relate to
• 28:12
  Speaker 2: your any of your colon's.
• 28:15
  Speaker 3: No, or it could just be The Odyssey Colin Odysseus.
• 28:22
  Speaker 2: Colan Matt Damon.
• 28:25
  Speaker 3: Or it could be The The Odyssey Colon Matt Damon,
• 28:30
  Speaker 3: hunting for Home, kind of like the Goodwill Hunting.
• 28:34
  Speaker 2: Yeah, reference, I think your first one there is the winner.
• 28:38
  Speaker 3: The man refuses as direction for three hours. That's three
• 28:42
  Speaker 3: hours if we're lucky.
• 28:43
  Speaker 2: So then another thing I was playing with was, you
• 28:45
  Speaker 2: know we got this movie from Jason Stave of Mutiny.
• 28:49
  Speaker 2: I was like, this Mutiny is really short and generic.
• 28:53
  Speaker 2: This is dying for a Colon. Yeah, so it could
• 28:55
  Speaker 2: be Mutiney Colan, dead Man's Passage, Oh, Mutiny Colin blood Tide, Yeah,
• 29:04
  Speaker 2: Mutiny colwan Ah, sorry, that could be that could be it, Yeah,
• 29:14
  Speaker 2: Mutiny Colin Tough guys, in Henley's shirts.
• 29:17
  Speaker 3: Oh yeah, which sounds like Jason Statham.
• 29:21
  Speaker 2: Yeah, you know exactly what it's going to be from that,
• 29:23
  Speaker 2: or of course, you know, mutiny Colin ship happens.
• 29:28
  Speaker 3: That's it right there, that's the winner. That would definitely
• 29:31
  Speaker 3: make the whole thing worth it, you know, in terms
• 29:36
  Speaker 3: of going to see that movie. Yeah, we should have
• 29:38
  Speaker 3: a rating system and if it's really bad, we should
• 29:41
  Speaker 3: say that Colon stinks.
• 29:44
  Speaker 2: Oh maybe that should be a segment is Colon ratings?
• 29:47
  Speaker 3: Could this be a segment? So yeah, we're wrapping up
• 29:52
  Speaker 3: the episode as we do, or we're pitching an idea
• 29:55
  Speaker 3: for a new segment on the show. What's a possible
• 29:58
  Speaker 3: future segment?
• 29:59
  Speaker 2: Shed so related to our last one where we were
• 30:02
  Speaker 2: talking about some movies. My idea here, I call this
• 30:06
  Speaker 2: one Spicy Meatball the movie.
• 30:09
  Speaker 3: Okay, you might.
• 30:10
  Speaker 2: Remember, you know, long ago, there was an ad where
• 30:13
  Speaker 2: a guy would say, that's a one spicy meats ball.
• 30:16
  Speaker 2: M h. That's kind of what inspired the title here.
• 30:19
  Speaker 2: The idea for this is, with this segment, you pitch
• 30:22
  Speaker 2: how a commercial, old or new could be made into
• 30:25
  Speaker 2: a movie. Okay, we're just raking all the ip these days.
• 30:30
  Speaker 2: We're making toys. Masters of the Universe is becoming a movie.
• 30:33
  Speaker 2: Trying to think, how anything, what can we do that
• 30:36
  Speaker 2: people know and make it into a movie. Nobody's gone
• 30:38
  Speaker 2: to the commercial. Well very much, let's get in there.
• 30:41
  Speaker 2: Let's be innovators. So we're pitching how a commercial could
• 30:44
  Speaker 2: be made into a movie. Here's my example. Got Milk
• 30:48
  Speaker 2: the Movie, here's my pitch. In nineteen eighty seven, an awkward,
• 30:52
  Speaker 2: skinny teenager sees a beautiful girl in a bathing suit.
• 30:56
  Speaker 2: He thinks, I'd like to meet you, but I bet
• 30:59
  Speaker 2: you're looking for a hunt. Well I'm drinking milk. Cut.
• 31:03
  Speaker 2: The commercial ends, but for him it never ended. Thirty
• 31:07
  Speaker 2: years later, the guy still remembers her, but now he's divorce,
• 31:11
  Speaker 2: stuck managing a failing dairy distribution company, and completely emotionally
• 31:16
  Speaker 2: frozen in the eighties. Then one day he sees her
• 31:19
  Speaker 2: again on the label of an organic milk brand, and
• 31:24
  Speaker 2: he sets out on a mission to find her.
• 31:27
  Speaker 3: Got Milk the Movie. I like it.
• 31:30
  Speaker 2: You in you're buying a ticket?
• 31:32
  Speaker 3: I am, And I think that's a great segment, because
• 31:35
  Speaker 3: I mean, for one, we love the movies, right, and
• 31:38
  Speaker 3: so making it into a movie. Who is good got milk.
• 31:43
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and there's so many, you know, so many commercials.
• 31:46
  Speaker 3: M hm.
• 31:47
  Speaker 2: You could think of, Okay, what's a way we could
• 31:50
  Speaker 2: extend this, whether it's following the plot of the commercial
• 31:53
  Speaker 2: or doing something meta with it. You know, how can
• 31:55
  Speaker 2: we extend this into like a full length film, no
• 31:58
  Speaker 2: matter how ridiculous it is?
• 32:00
  Speaker 3: Yeah, no, I love that. And milk, you know, it's
• 32:03
  Speaker 3: I mean, it's not for the dairy intolerant.
• 32:06
  Speaker 2: But I was thinking, you know this, back in the eighties,
• 32:09
  Speaker 2: it was like, there's just milk, you gotta drink milk.
• 32:12
  Speaker 2: So they would probably weave something in here about like
• 32:16
  Speaker 2: what milk is now versus what it was like mm hmm,
• 32:19
  Speaker 2: jokes about how nobody nobody drinks milk anymore.
• 32:22
  Speaker 3: Yeah, unless it's oat milk, so creamy, soy. Yeah, I
• 32:26
  Speaker 3: like that. All right, So listen, So this is this
• 32:29
  Speaker 3: is my segment idea. It's called the Next Brand Apology,
• 32:33
  Speaker 3: and it's where we imagine a ridiculous brand disaster. So
• 32:36
  Speaker 3: we imagine the disaster and then create the official apology
• 32:40
  Speaker 3: statement that the brand would release after the Internet gets
• 32:43
  Speaker 3: mad at it. Because you know, at this point, every
• 32:46
  Speaker 3: brand has you know, had an apology of sorts. So
• 32:50
  Speaker 3: that's that's it. That's all there is to it. And
• 32:52
  Speaker 3: I think the more absurd the brand, you know, the
• 32:55
  Speaker 3: disaster is the better, you know. But again I think
• 32:59
  Speaker 3: it's we imagine the scenario and then it also imagine
• 33:03
  Speaker 3: the apology.
• 33:05
  Speaker 2: Yeah, that's pretty good. And we have a lot of
• 33:07
  Speaker 2: real life examples to go off of.
• 33:10
  Speaker 3: Mm hmmm. I don't have an example per se, but
• 33:12
  Speaker 3: I was thinking that that could be a lot of
• 33:14
  Speaker 3: fun and also necessary for today, you know, just bring
• 33:19
  Speaker 3: some levity to the amount of apologies that are out there.
• 33:22
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and you could make the thing they're apologizing for
• 33:25
  Speaker 2: a little off the wall.
• 33:27
  Speaker 3: Yeah, and you know, the sanitized language that we would
• 33:30
  Speaker 3: use to try.
• 33:31
  Speaker 2: To like beat around the bush a little bit.
• 33:33
  Speaker 3: Mm hmm. Yeah, yeah, I like it.
• 33:37
  Speaker 2: Let's advance it, let's put it in the queue with
• 33:40
  Speaker 2: the sixty five others.
• 33:43
  Speaker 3: We do have a lot of them. But it's gonna
• 33:44
  Speaker 3: be a lot of fun a doing.
• 33:47
  Speaker 2: The Man Endless episodes.
• 33:49
  Speaker 3: So we've got a lot of colonoscopies, we've got a
• 33:52
  Speaker 3: lot of the mad libs. I feel like we did
• 33:57
  Speaker 3: alright with that. It was okay, Yeah, it worked.
• 33:59
  Speaker 2: Out It's one of those things. Will we do it again?
• 34:01
  Speaker 3: I don't know.
• 34:02
  Speaker 2: Well maybe at some point, even like colonoscopy, I'm like,
• 34:05
  Speaker 2: this is the second time we've done this. I don't know.
• 34:07
  Speaker 2: I like the idea of like the colonospy rating better,
• 34:11
  Speaker 2: but some of these things, I'm like, do we need
• 34:13
  Speaker 2: to go back to these? I don't know, but they
• 34:15
  Speaker 2: might come back, like twenty five episodes from now will
• 34:18
  Speaker 2: be like, huh, let's do colonoscopy again. Coincidentally, Terry just
• 34:22
  Speaker 2: had a colonoscopy on Friday.
• 34:24
  Speaker 3: Oh yeah, her first. Really, she loved it. Yeah, when
• 34:29
  Speaker 3: you go to when you like sit there and they
• 34:32
  Speaker 3: put the thing in sudden like
• 34:36
  Speaker 1: Yeah,